I was listening to my friend telling me how she was bringing her views across to her niece. And I thought, gee, that was a new idea to me too.
This friend of mine claimed that she was one of the worst scholars in her time. She has failed her professional exam so many times that she was too embarrassed to count. Yet interestingly she did not have to practice in the dating game, she married her very first date: a Colombo Plan Scholar who later worked as a senior government servant.
She was telling her niece not to be too grasping or calculative. It is true that within the Chinese culture, guys are expected to pick up the tabs. When she met her beloved, they were in UK. She actually counted their dates in the sense that she let him pay twice or three times, then she would pay once quietly. She well remembered his comment that all his previous dates not only expected him to pay for everything, they schemed to get him to take them to the more expensive places. Needless to say, he dropped them promptly.
An eligible young man, Lucas, told me that nowadays young people tend to go dutch. Once they come out to work, the one that does the "chasing" tends to pay more often. Or it could be settled by mutual understanding. Anything works, as long as both parties are amenable to the arrangement.
Being traditionally Chinese, I personally believe that if a man would not even foot the bills during courtship, how would I have faith that he would provide for the wife and children after marriage?
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