There is a saying: " A fisherman's children eat small fish, a cobbler's children wear broken shoes."
During my last stint in Borneo, one of the children taught by my son often came to 7pm tuition session with an empty stomach. After a while, I actually cooked a little extra just in case she needed food. She has grown older and attends a private all day school now. Just last month I met her in a leading supermarket. She is quite a beautiful young lady now, though still rather slender. Her mum used to operate two restaurants.
My good friend in Singapore used to pack extra sandwiches for a poor girl whose parents had to work at multiple jobs to be able to pay for her expensive education. They love her and made big sacrifices financially for her. But very often they had no time or energy to look into the daily small tasks like preparing school snacks. My friend understood and stood in the gap by providing food. She used to teach in a tuition centre specialising in coaching dyslexic children.
In the Klang valley, another friend's nephew has a friend who comes from a rich family. Mum and dad are busy business folks. The maid at home only cooks breakfasts and dinners. The "poor" teenage boy has no pocket money. He would have gone hungry each weekday with no lunches but for my friend's sister supplying identical lunches she served her son without charging the school mate. The kind boy who shared food gained literally a friend for life.
Food is one of the most basic human needs. Look around us, is there anyone whom we meet daily who lack basic food?
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
(1184) Men vs women
My grandma had a proverb: men at 30 years old are like fresh flowers, women at 30 years old are like used tea bags.
If my grandma survived till today, she would had been 110 years old. Times have changed, I no longer agree with the proverb. It is not really valid anymore.
But, to a certain extent, a man's chances at marrying are actually higher as he grows older. Inversely, a woman's chances of finding a suitable spouse seems to drop with advancing age. Personally, I hardly like to admit this fact. It seemed very unfair for women who spend 4-8 years studying in higher institutions of learning.
Among my friends, it does seem that those who found their partners earlier have gotten better deals. There are two who married late, one at 38 and the other at 40. The former is a business woman. The latter is a lawyer. The business woman's husband works stints in other countries overseeing huge infra structure projects. She chose not to relocate, partly because she could not give up her business. Partly because she would like her children not to have been educated in a few countries. As a result of her choice, the family unit is not close knitted. There is little time for happy family time and togetherness.
The lawyer's husband did not like our country's work ethics. He chose early retirement. My friend virtually moved to her mum's house after her only child was born. Interestingly they are still together living just a few miles apart.
Both men are highly qualified with multiple degrees. They are successful men if you measure them financially. Both spent many years of their youth working abroad. They are each more than 8 years older than their wives.
If my grandma survived till today, she would had been 110 years old. Times have changed, I no longer agree with the proverb. It is not really valid anymore.
But, to a certain extent, a man's chances at marrying are actually higher as he grows older. Inversely, a woman's chances of finding a suitable spouse seems to drop with advancing age. Personally, I hardly like to admit this fact. It seemed very unfair for women who spend 4-8 years studying in higher institutions of learning.
Among my friends, it does seem that those who found their partners earlier have gotten better deals. There are two who married late, one at 38 and the other at 40. The former is a business woman. The latter is a lawyer. The business woman's husband works stints in other countries overseeing huge infra structure projects. She chose not to relocate, partly because she could not give up her business. Partly because she would like her children not to have been educated in a few countries. As a result of her choice, the family unit is not close knitted. There is little time for happy family time and togetherness.
The lawyer's husband did not like our country's work ethics. He chose early retirement. My friend virtually moved to her mum's house after her only child was born. Interestingly they are still together living just a few miles apart.
Both men are highly qualified with multiple degrees. They are successful men if you measure them financially. Both spent many years of their youth working abroad. They are each more than 8 years older than their wives.
(1183) Mother's heart, mother's tree by Fang Sook Ching
This is a Chinese children's book I borrowed from the nearest Sabah Library. It was beautifully illustrated by another lady with the given name of Kwee Fang.
Among the little group of students my son taught on two weeknights, there is a guy whose mother left his dad. It is perfectly natural that that he was hurt and felt abandoned.
In the above book, a little girl's mom made her a cloth heart to represent the mom's unchanging love and care. The pink heart was hung on a tree branch outside the classroom window.
Soon there were eight other hearts made by other mothers of the children in the class. A boy, whose mother has passed away, started to "borrow" different hearts to take home each day by force. That action continually caused lots of tears and unhappiness. The class teacher did not know how to handle the difficult situation. It was wonderful that her grandmother found a solution to the problem. A phone call from the teacher led to the father of the boy in question making a paper heart for hanging on the tree branch.
In the end, even the teacher's grandma made a heart for the teacher to hang on the tree branch. After all, the teacher has no living mum or dad. Her grandma brought her up.
Using this book, I talked about how we are living in an imperfect world. Of course, the boy in the story lacked a mother compared to his classmates. But look at the teacher, she probably did not even have any memory of her parents, her grandma is all she has.
Yet, while I was resident in Silver City, there was a gun shot incident where a mother was shot in a petrol station. Her 5 year-old daughter who witnessed the killing was so traumatised by the experience that she could not utter a word for 5 long years.
That fateful day, I actually drove past the incident site shortly after the shooting and saw quite a few emergency vehicles. The bullet-ridden Land Cruiser was photographed and came up in the next day's newspaper. A paediatrician who worked in the General Hospital told me that the girl concerned had been meeting with a Government child Psychologist monthly for those years.
Among the little group of students my son taught on two weeknights, there is a guy whose mother left his dad. It is perfectly natural that that he was hurt and felt abandoned.
In the above book, a little girl's mom made her a cloth heart to represent the mom's unchanging love and care. The pink heart was hung on a tree branch outside the classroom window.
Soon there were eight other hearts made by other mothers of the children in the class. A boy, whose mother has passed away, started to "borrow" different hearts to take home each day by force. That action continually caused lots of tears and unhappiness. The class teacher did not know how to handle the difficult situation. It was wonderful that her grandmother found a solution to the problem. A phone call from the teacher led to the father of the boy in question making a paper heart for hanging on the tree branch.
In the end, even the teacher's grandma made a heart for the teacher to hang on the tree branch. After all, the teacher has no living mum or dad. Her grandma brought her up.
Using this book, I talked about how we are living in an imperfect world. Of course, the boy in the story lacked a mother compared to his classmates. But look at the teacher, she probably did not even have any memory of her parents, her grandma is all she has.
Yet, while I was resident in Silver City, there was a gun shot incident where a mother was shot in a petrol station. Her 5 year-old daughter who witnessed the killing was so traumatised by the experience that she could not utter a word for 5 long years.
That fateful day, I actually drove past the incident site shortly after the shooting and saw quite a few emergency vehicles. The bullet-ridden Land Cruiser was photographed and came up in the next day's newspaper. A paediatrician who worked in the General Hospital told me that the girl concerned had been meeting with a Government child Psychologist monthly for those years.
(1182) Good wife
I was reading a book on regional and traditional cakes of the UK. A conversation from years ago surfaced in my consciousness.
There was a famous book I read when I was 21 years old. It was loaned to me by a good friend in my college. At that point of time I could not understand much of the book content.
Years later a close friend showed me the movie version in her home theatre. Amazingly, the pictorial rendition was crystal clear to me and I enjoyed the show tremendously. Of course, by then I was married and was in my thirties.
The latter friend pointed out one scene: an American born Chinese wife baked a delectable pecan pie, cut one slice for her beloved husband. The rest of the yummy pie ended up in the garbage can. This couple in the movie was childless by choice.
I told her that in all my college life of interacting with American whites and Asian residents, I have never met anyone who would throw away fresh food or bake goods. It was merely the author's ploy of painting an exaggerated version of the event to provoke an emotional response from the readers.
Further along the story, this "spoiled" husband actually left his wife who had bent double back to please him habitually . My friend's sister who is an Australian citizen was adamant that the lady character richly deserved the abandonment by a "good-for-nothing" husband.
Well! I thought that was rather an extreme view. In my opinion, that lady did not "read" her husband accurately enough, some men could not abide by being treated as VIP all the time. Therefore it was useless to be so good to him. My friend had a third view and we agreed to disagree over that case amicably. What do you think?
There was a famous book I read when I was 21 years old. It was loaned to me by a good friend in my college. At that point of time I could not understand much of the book content.
Years later a close friend showed me the movie version in her home theatre. Amazingly, the pictorial rendition was crystal clear to me and I enjoyed the show tremendously. Of course, by then I was married and was in my thirties.
The latter friend pointed out one scene: an American born Chinese wife baked a delectable pecan pie, cut one slice for her beloved husband. The rest of the yummy pie ended up in the garbage can. This couple in the movie was childless by choice.
I told her that in all my college life of interacting with American whites and Asian residents, I have never met anyone who would throw away fresh food or bake goods. It was merely the author's ploy of painting an exaggerated version of the event to provoke an emotional response from the readers.
Further along the story, this "spoiled" husband actually left his wife who had bent double back to please him habitually . My friend's sister who is an Australian citizen was adamant that the lady character richly deserved the abandonment by a "good-for-nothing" husband.
Well! I thought that was rather an extreme view. In my opinion, that lady did not "read" her husband accurately enough, some men could not abide by being treated as VIP all the time. Therefore it was useless to be so good to him. My friend had a third view and we agreed to disagree over that case amicably. What do you think?
(1181) Flash floods
Due to climate change, one of the main roads near my home in Selangor could become flooded within a short time of heavy rain. Off hand I remember four times of the area becoming flooded the past two years.
Kenneth was walking to the nearest LRT station one day when he went back to the peninsular. It was raining cats and dogs. Even with a golf umbrella, his long pants were getting soaked by the horizontal blast of raindrops due to strong wind.
While he was tip-toeing on the pavement in between rain puddles, a small grey mouse (that was a baby size) was scrabbling away from the main road in the opposite direction. It was literally running for its life. Ten minutes later, the flood water was up to the lowest part of the windows of a Kancil car (970cc). It was then 3:30pm.
It is a good thing that such flash flood does not usually last more than half an hour. But meanwhile, the cars parked within the flood zone would be swept along by the strong current of the flood water.
Animals are usually smart enough to flee from natural disasters like flood, forest fire, earthquakes and volcano eruptions. By instinct, they would run either long before an imminent earthquake (a few days ahead) or just in the nick of time before a flood.
Kenneth was walking to the nearest LRT station one day when he went back to the peninsular. It was raining cats and dogs. Even with a golf umbrella, his long pants were getting soaked by the horizontal blast of raindrops due to strong wind.
While he was tip-toeing on the pavement in between rain puddles, a small grey mouse (that was a baby size) was scrabbling away from the main road in the opposite direction. It was literally running for its life. Ten minutes later, the flood water was up to the lowest part of the windows of a Kancil car (970cc). It was then 3:30pm.
It is a good thing that such flash flood does not usually last more than half an hour. But meanwhile, the cars parked within the flood zone would be swept along by the strong current of the flood water.
Animals are usually smart enough to flee from natural disasters like flood, forest fire, earthquakes and volcano eruptions. By instinct, they would run either long before an imminent earthquake (a few days ahead) or just in the nick of time before a flood.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
(1180) Bridal Photography
One sure sign of hitting middle age was when things the youngsters do strike one as being overly luxurious or in a spendthrift manner.
After getting married, having the desired number of children and moving lock, stock and barrel to a small town, I proceeded to hide my head in the sand to devote all my energy to bring up my "treasures". It was much later that we relocated back to the capital city to be with my eldest when he attended Pre-university that I began to meet folks who are much younger than my age group.
When a young single girl in my life group shared that her wedding photography was going to cost $13,000, I was speechless. When she explained that she and her husband, with a photographer and a make-up artist cum hairdresser would spend three day-two nights in Langkawi Island, those present began to see why it costs so much. That was within the first decade of the 21st century.
To think that my first job in 1984 netted me $840 monthly as an IT lecturer in a shop lot college during the recession of the mid-80s. A year or two later I found a permanent job teaching communication in a proper private college, it paid $1,240. Much later I resigned from my full time job to go part-time teaching English. The month I received the highest pay was when I was teaching 21 hours weekly. It was holiday crash courses for third year students who needed to pass their language requirements. I remembered wanting to photocopy the $2,645 cheque, my husband laughed as that was a pittance to him, he is not a teacher.
Sometime in 2014, my nephew tied the knot. He paid $18,000 for his bridal photography. Of course those photos were like works of art. His pictures were taken in a national park.
After getting married, having the desired number of children and moving lock, stock and barrel to a small town, I proceeded to hide my head in the sand to devote all my energy to bring up my "treasures". It was much later that we relocated back to the capital city to be with my eldest when he attended Pre-university that I began to meet folks who are much younger than my age group.
When a young single girl in my life group shared that her wedding photography was going to cost $13,000, I was speechless. When she explained that she and her husband, with a photographer and a make-up artist cum hairdresser would spend three day-two nights in Langkawi Island, those present began to see why it costs so much. That was within the first decade of the 21st century.
To think that my first job in 1984 netted me $840 monthly as an IT lecturer in a shop lot college during the recession of the mid-80s. A year or two later I found a permanent job teaching communication in a proper private college, it paid $1,240. Much later I resigned from my full time job to go part-time teaching English. The month I received the highest pay was when I was teaching 21 hours weekly. It was holiday crash courses for third year students who needed to pass their language requirements. I remembered wanting to photocopy the $2,645 cheque, my husband laughed as that was a pittance to him, he is not a teacher.
Sometime in 2014, my nephew tied the knot. He paid $18,000 for his bridal photography. Of course those photos were like works of art. His pictures were taken in a national park.
(1179) Manipulating adults from toddlerhood.
From my personal observation, a person with a co-dominant hemispheres brain is usually highly talented. A scientist who also aces in English literature would be such a person. We'll call him Long.
It was his father's 70th birthday dinner. He flew back from Hong Kong to attend the family function. When it came to the time to drive to the restaurant, it was to be a convoy of five cars. As he walked to the main door, his recalcitrant niece was lying across the empty space right before the door, kicking and screaming. There was no tears in her calculating and watchful eyes.
He lifted his right foot, gently turned the one-year-old over. From lying face down, she was re-oriented to lying face up within less than a second. She was shocked into silence for a moment. Then the pouting mouth turned into an "o" shape and the scream continued. The care-giver, who is a cousin, picked up the toddler and shushed her with a litany of reprimand.
Everyone overlooked the incident. Well, what do you expect of a forty-year-old bachelor? Also, most adults could not tolerate the show-off, controlling attitude of a bullying toddler. It was a calculating act to dominate a family gathering. Don't tell me that all babies are innocent. There is often one in ten who is almost born domineering and good at manipulating most adults.
*..........
It was his father's 70th birthday dinner. He flew back from Hong Kong to attend the family function. When it came to the time to drive to the restaurant, it was to be a convoy of five cars. As he walked to the main door, his recalcitrant niece was lying across the empty space right before the door, kicking and screaming. There was no tears in her calculating and watchful eyes.
He lifted his right foot, gently turned the one-year-old over. From lying face down, she was re-oriented to lying face up within less than a second. She was shocked into silence for a moment. Then the pouting mouth turned into an "o" shape and the scream continued. The care-giver, who is a cousin, picked up the toddler and shushed her with a litany of reprimand.
Everyone overlooked the incident. Well, what do you expect of a forty-year-old bachelor? Also, most adults could not tolerate the show-off, controlling attitude of a bullying toddler. It was a calculating act to dominate a family gathering. Don't tell me that all babies are innocent. There is often one in ten who is almost born domineering and good at manipulating most adults.
*..........
(1178) Exploitation by landlords
While on the topic of my work stint in the state college, (this was written right after one of the intern blogs but not typed and published until much later) I should tell you about the housing estate around it. It just so happened that there was a mosque next to the area. Having been born and brought up in a Moslem country, I should be well versed in related laws. Yet I was surprised that there was a rule that within x metres from a mosque, no one could sell pork or pork products. The result is no Chinese eatery could exist there. I would say that half the shops in that area are empty. It is a half dead place.
We will call this area Pumpkin Spice Garden. When I first worked there, I brought extra breakfast as lunch. Then I went to the only pork free Chinese restaurant. There I quickly got tired of eating the mix rice cooked by a native cook. Soon I was hunting for a new place to eat on foot or by car.
There was one alley that I walked past that was foul smelling. I mentioned about that in the college office and my colleague, Jackson, laughed. Apparently there were land lords who partitioned both upstairs and down stairs into cubicles for foreign workers. It was not only fire traps, it was slum housing. Since the rental was at rock bottom, stopped-up toilets were not repaired. Urine flowed into the drains behind and around the shops that were meant for bath and rain water. The poor workers had to resort to using the toilets at work.
When I was a child, I have never heard nor seen a worker from any foreign country. It was in the roaring eighties that every rich Mary, Jane and Margaret hired Indonesian maids. Little do I know how badly foreign workers were being exploited in many places.
We will call this area Pumpkin Spice Garden. When I first worked there, I brought extra breakfast as lunch. Then I went to the only pork free Chinese restaurant. There I quickly got tired of eating the mix rice cooked by a native cook. Soon I was hunting for a new place to eat on foot or by car.
There was one alley that I walked past that was foul smelling. I mentioned about that in the college office and my colleague, Jackson, laughed. Apparently there were land lords who partitioned both upstairs and down stairs into cubicles for foreign workers. It was not only fire traps, it was slum housing. Since the rental was at rock bottom, stopped-up toilets were not repaired. Urine flowed into the drains behind and around the shops that were meant for bath and rain water. The poor workers had to resort to using the toilets at work.
When I was a child, I have never heard nor seen a worker from any foreign country. It was in the roaring eighties that every rich Mary, Jane and Margaret hired Indonesian maids. Little do I know how badly foreign workers were being exploited in many places.
(1177)Something new by Lucy Knisley
This is the very first cartoon novel I have read from front to back. My son was surprised as I have never been a visual cartoon enthusiast. Well, I still am not. The fact that I read it at all is a statement of high compliment to Lucy Knisley.
I was caught looking at a few frames now and then while waiting for students to arrive. Also books are returned every two weeks. The last batch was borrowed by my son while I went to medical camp. I have just run out of books to read a few days before the next run to the state library.
Something old
Something new
Some thing borrowed
Something blue
For my own wedding 30 over years ago, I wore an old bridal gown borrowed from a friend's friend. My best friend made me a new veil. I borrowed costume necklace and ear rings. My college buddy from US sent me a blue garter. From this book I read of the Swede custom of having gold and silver coins in the bride's shoes.
I still remember the beautiful ribbon roses, fixed on the church pews, made by a lady who teaches secondary school. She also decorated our borrowed gold coloured Mercedes for the wedding. All of these were done at cost and with love. My husband is a nice guy that is highly popular everywhere he goes.
I was caught looking at a few frames now and then while waiting for students to arrive. Also books are returned every two weeks. The last batch was borrowed by my son while I went to medical camp. I have just run out of books to read a few days before the next run to the state library.
Something old
Something new
Some thing borrowed
Something blue
For my own wedding 30 over years ago, I wore an old bridal gown borrowed from a friend's friend. My best friend made me a new veil. I borrowed costume necklace and ear rings. My college buddy from US sent me a blue garter. From this book I read of the Swede custom of having gold and silver coins in the bride's shoes.
I still remember the beautiful ribbon roses, fixed on the church pews, made by a lady who teaches secondary school. She also decorated our borrowed gold coloured Mercedes for the wedding. All of these were done at cost and with love. My husband is a nice guy that is highly popular everywhere he goes.
(1176) A Catching Game
A collection of 26 four wheel drive vehicles from four cities brought doctors, nurses, dentist, volunteers and basic food stuff to an area in need of medical care.
Here is a game that I observed in a hostel in Tambunan.
I was allotted a mattress in room 5. Right in front of the room is a paved area for hanging laundry out to dry. I was tired from trekking uphill from the river to the hill top school cum hostel, therefore I sat on the steps enjoying the mountain view. A few young girls walked about, collecting dry clothes as well as bed linen meant for us, the one-night guests to use. They peeped at me, smiled shyly. As I sat there in idleness, they began to play a game after folding the dry laundry in different rooms.
There were four girls, all of them looked like seven-year-olds to me. They are not only short, but small in stature as well. Of course I know I can't compare them to children in the affluent cities. They are probably children of small scale subsistence farmers, mostly from big families. This town is about five thousand feet high on a plateau. Most families plant wet rice paddy. Interestingly there is no scarecrows, no anything to chase away birds. It is indeed a most blessed place. It is an area surrounded by hills and mountains. The second highest mountain in Sabah was within hiking distance from where I was sitting.
The game they played was like "What is the time, Mr Wolf?" One girl started by leaning against the pole (one of the many that were there to attach lines for hanging wet clothes), she closed her eyes and count "One, Two ....Three". At three, she ran to catch the nearest playmate. While she was standing at the pole, the others squatted down near her. Each of the three wrapped their T-shirts around their knees. As the one at the pole closed her eyes, each "duck" waddled away swiftly. As long as the girl at the pole was counting, no one could stand up. At three, all hell break lose, everyone shrieked and shouted. The one that was caught groaned and became "it". All the others laughed.
Each girl that became "it" counted differently, some used Malay numbers, some used their own dialect. One gave some seconds between one and two, some don't. By the time the fourth girl became "it", she counted differently. She said, "One, two ... one hundred." Everyone laughed. Then she counted, "One, ... Two ... five hundred .." All the others, including the observers, complained. There was suspense, no chance to run. The "ducks" were very tired of waddling. At the fourth time of unconventional round, the p a system beeped and all the children were called to line up for dental checks. The game ended promptly.
Much later, a local volunteer talked to one of the girls I saw playing the waddling-running-catching game. Apparently she was in standard three.
Here is a game that I observed in a hostel in Tambunan.
I was allotted a mattress in room 5. Right in front of the room is a paved area for hanging laundry out to dry. I was tired from trekking uphill from the river to the hill top school cum hostel, therefore I sat on the steps enjoying the mountain view. A few young girls walked about, collecting dry clothes as well as bed linen meant for us, the one-night guests to use. They peeped at me, smiled shyly. As I sat there in idleness, they began to play a game after folding the dry laundry in different rooms.
There were four girls, all of them looked like seven-year-olds to me. They are not only short, but small in stature as well. Of course I know I can't compare them to children in the affluent cities. They are probably children of small scale subsistence farmers, mostly from big families. This town is about five thousand feet high on a plateau. Most families plant wet rice paddy. Interestingly there is no scarecrows, no anything to chase away birds. It is indeed a most blessed place. It is an area surrounded by hills and mountains. The second highest mountain in Sabah was within hiking distance from where I was sitting.
The game they played was like "What is the time, Mr Wolf?" One girl started by leaning against the pole (one of the many that were there to attach lines for hanging wet clothes), she closed her eyes and count "One, Two ....Three". At three, she ran to catch the nearest playmate. While she was standing at the pole, the others squatted down near her. Each of the three wrapped their T-shirts around their knees. As the one at the pole closed her eyes, each "duck" waddled away swiftly. As long as the girl at the pole was counting, no one could stand up. At three, all hell break lose, everyone shrieked and shouted. The one that was caught groaned and became "it". All the others laughed.
Each girl that became "it" counted differently, some used Malay numbers, some used their own dialect. One gave some seconds between one and two, some don't. By the time the fourth girl became "it", she counted differently. She said, "One, two ... one hundred." Everyone laughed. Then she counted, "One, ... Two ... five hundred .." All the others, including the observers, complained. There was suspense, no chance to run. The "ducks" were very tired of waddling. At the fourth time of unconventional round, the p a system beeped and all the children were called to line up for dental checks. The game ended promptly.
Much later, a local volunteer talked to one of the girls I saw playing the waddling-running-catching game. Apparently she was in standard three.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
(1175) The grass is greener on the other side of the fence
As I sat in the vehicle listening to my host driver and his wife, I note that she has a sister residing in Ireland. The later just left after a long visit. Another sister from Canada has arrived. The host has a brother in Australia. Interestingly the brother has studied in FIT (Federal Institute of Technology), now part of UCSI, a private university in Kuala Lumpur, I have cousins who studied in a diploma program there long ago.
This brother, after he obtained a degree in engineering in another institution, migrated to Australia. As far as my host knows, he has not gotten a single professional job in his field throughout his stay in Australia. He and his family are still in that country down under.
In order to survive in that country, he took on a series of part-time jobs, including the job of a traffic controller in a public school. His mother went to visit him, that was what she said when she came back. According to the old lady, her son and daughter-in-law went through some rather lean times when they were new in that country. At one point of time, three of them were surviving on the child subsidy given by the government. I was rather shocked to hear that. Why did he not come back to Sabah, the land of plenty? Well, it was very difficult to have a crack of getting a residency permit anyway, how could he give up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
I find it amazing that while main land Chinese migrate here under Malaysian my second home, Malaysians were dying to leave and would suffer long and hard to stay in a first world country. Now that Hong Kong is feeling the heat of Chinese bullets, I wonder how many Hong Kongers would migrate to Singapore and Malaysia soon?
This brother, after he obtained a degree in engineering in another institution, migrated to Australia. As far as my host knows, he has not gotten a single professional job in his field throughout his stay in Australia. He and his family are still in that country down under.
In order to survive in that country, he took on a series of part-time jobs, including the job of a traffic controller in a public school. His mother went to visit him, that was what she said when she came back. According to the old lady, her son and daughter-in-law went through some rather lean times when they were new in that country. At one point of time, three of them were surviving on the child subsidy given by the government. I was rather shocked to hear that. Why did he not come back to Sabah, the land of plenty? Well, it was very difficult to have a crack of getting a residency permit anyway, how could he give up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
I find it amazing that while main land Chinese migrate here under Malaysian my second home, Malaysians were dying to leave and would suffer long and hard to stay in a first world country. Now that Hong Kong is feeling the heat of Chinese bullets, I wonder how many Hong Kongers would migrate to Singapore and Malaysia soon?
(1174) Visiting the orphans
Recently I went to another medical camp. We started driving at six in the morning. Since we did not have to travel in a convoy, we had time to eat breakfast.
One hour took us to Ranau, 1 800 feet above sea level. Another three hours we reached Tambunan, 5 000 feet above the sea. According to those who travel yearly there, the roads were much better than the previous year. It was muddy and bumpy last year. This year most of that road was widened and a lot of gravel were added. It was not only less bumpy, it was less dusty too.
That part of Sabah is mostly mountainous. This is the first time I heard that Sabah is the Switzerland of the East. It is beautiful!
This particular camp brought doctors, nurses, dentists and eye doctors. Broken into three groups, they served one remote village, an orphanage (for children of single parents) and a hostel. There were a few lady hairdressers who cut hair for the children, for them it was a day trip. I hitched a ride with the chuck wagon, therefore I went to the cooking shed near the river. After a hurriedly cooked lunch, I went to the hostel to put down my bag. Some volunteers cooked white rice and fried 5 kilos of small fish with salt the afternoon before. We reached the hostel by 11:30 am. A group of us set up shop and shelled onions, garlic and shallots. The chief cook fried a vegetable that is made up of a local leek, ginger pink flower (bunga gantang), onion and garlic and anchovy. It is a most delicious dish. Apparently a doctor first had it in a previous medical camp, kept asking for it and he even bought the ingredients on the way and took the trouble to cook it himself. In order to maximise his productivity, the organisers made a point of providing it for every future camp. We had onion fried eggs and two type of sambal. The cook used chili padi, sugar, salt, lime juice and belachan to make a watery sambal. Some individual bought a small jar of dried shrimp sambal that cost $15, to me it is expensive.
The night before our trip, it was 19 degrees in Tambunan. The night we were there, I had on one t-shirt, long pants and long sleeve plaid shirt and I slept in a sleeping bag all zip up towards the morning. Seven girls moved in with their school mates to accommodate us. We ended up ten people sleeping in the room with eight mattresses. The next morning, the mountains were spectacular with thin veils of sheer white misty clouds, like the long white veils that Chilean mountains are famous for.
All in, thirteen pairs of spectacles were needed for the orphans and the pupils in the hostel. The Lion Club will under write it all. These children, age 7 to 12, live too far to walk to school daily. They board five days a week, and return home during week ends and holidays. It was heartening to see 7 year olds washing their own clothes. This will produce a very independent group of young people.
It is a tradition that medical camp collected money form well wishers to buy a Kentucky Fried Chicken meals for each student in the hostel. Folks donate money to send 100 frozen chickens to the orphanage. Alternate year, either fish or pork were sent too, depending on the prices of sea catch. Since the past year, a very rich unnamed man donated $10 000 earmarked for buying medicine each medical camp. Apparently after donating the money, he hired a helicopter to fly him to that inaccessible place and check on the work. He was very pleased with what he saw, the cheques kept coming.
This is the last official camp for this year, as the monsoon rains will hit in November. By then it would be too dangerous to travel to the interior where there are no paved roads. However, I heard that there is one last one in December. Around Christmas, four all-terrain vehicles would fetch a cooking team, one doctor and two nurses, they would bring food, used clothes, toys, and new clothes to this really poor group living on the main road a reasonable distance from where I live. These are indigenous folks who are citizens. There is no school nearby, therefore generation after generation are being left behind in the economic pie. I saw a few photographs, those wooden houses have no walls. Dogs and people live in one room hovels. Before the medical camp people heard of them, all children under six have absolutely no clothes to wear. We cannot expect them to wear even slippers.
It took the Health Department officials to take a bunch of well wishers to this remote site. It is actually near enough for a day trip. Yet in more than 20 over years of medical camp history, they only learnt of this needy group a year or two ago. God willing, I hope to follow either the founder and his wife or the chuck wagon. In any case, my thick skin self would appeal to all and sundry for used clothes, clean toys or any household items those around me would donate over the next two months.
One hour took us to Ranau, 1 800 feet above sea level. Another three hours we reached Tambunan, 5 000 feet above the sea. According to those who travel yearly there, the roads were much better than the previous year. It was muddy and bumpy last year. This year most of that road was widened and a lot of gravel were added. It was not only less bumpy, it was less dusty too.
That part of Sabah is mostly mountainous. This is the first time I heard that Sabah is the Switzerland of the East. It is beautiful!
This particular camp brought doctors, nurses, dentists and eye doctors. Broken into three groups, they served one remote village, an orphanage (for children of single parents) and a hostel. There were a few lady hairdressers who cut hair for the children, for them it was a day trip. I hitched a ride with the chuck wagon, therefore I went to the cooking shed near the river. After a hurriedly cooked lunch, I went to the hostel to put down my bag. Some volunteers cooked white rice and fried 5 kilos of small fish with salt the afternoon before. We reached the hostel by 11:30 am. A group of us set up shop and shelled onions, garlic and shallots. The chief cook fried a vegetable that is made up of a local leek, ginger pink flower (bunga gantang), onion and garlic and anchovy. It is a most delicious dish. Apparently a doctor first had it in a previous medical camp, kept asking for it and he even bought the ingredients on the way and took the trouble to cook it himself. In order to maximise his productivity, the organisers made a point of providing it for every future camp. We had onion fried eggs and two type of sambal. The cook used chili padi, sugar, salt, lime juice and belachan to make a watery sambal. Some individual bought a small jar of dried shrimp sambal that cost $15, to me it is expensive.
The night before our trip, it was 19 degrees in Tambunan. The night we were there, I had on one t-shirt, long pants and long sleeve plaid shirt and I slept in a sleeping bag all zip up towards the morning. Seven girls moved in with their school mates to accommodate us. We ended up ten people sleeping in the room with eight mattresses. The next morning, the mountains were spectacular with thin veils of sheer white misty clouds, like the long white veils that Chilean mountains are famous for.
All in, thirteen pairs of spectacles were needed for the orphans and the pupils in the hostel. The Lion Club will under write it all. These children, age 7 to 12, live too far to walk to school daily. They board five days a week, and return home during week ends and holidays. It was heartening to see 7 year olds washing their own clothes. This will produce a very independent group of young people.
It is a tradition that medical camp collected money form well wishers to buy a Kentucky Fried Chicken meals for each student in the hostel. Folks donate money to send 100 frozen chickens to the orphanage. Alternate year, either fish or pork were sent too, depending on the prices of sea catch. Since the past year, a very rich unnamed man donated $10 000 earmarked for buying medicine each medical camp. Apparently after donating the money, he hired a helicopter to fly him to that inaccessible place and check on the work. He was very pleased with what he saw, the cheques kept coming.
This is the last official camp for this year, as the monsoon rains will hit in November. By then it would be too dangerous to travel to the interior where there are no paved roads. However, I heard that there is one last one in December. Around Christmas, four all-terrain vehicles would fetch a cooking team, one doctor and two nurses, they would bring food, used clothes, toys, and new clothes to this really poor group living on the main road a reasonable distance from where I live. These are indigenous folks who are citizens. There is no school nearby, therefore generation after generation are being left behind in the economic pie. I saw a few photographs, those wooden houses have no walls. Dogs and people live in one room hovels. Before the medical camp people heard of them, all children under six have absolutely no clothes to wear. We cannot expect them to wear even slippers.
It took the Health Department officials to take a bunch of well wishers to this remote site. It is actually near enough for a day trip. Yet in more than 20 over years of medical camp history, they only learnt of this needy group a year or two ago. God willing, I hope to follow either the founder and his wife or the chuck wagon. In any case, my thick skin self would appeal to all and sundry for used clothes, clean toys or any household items those around me would donate over the next two months.
(1173) Cost of Migration
Lately I seemed to be thinking and writing quite a few migration stories. I did mention a little about the following family in blog number 1156.
As I moved around my husband's university alumnus friends through the years, I have grown to like quite a few of them. We will call this particular one Tom. He is one of the most unassuming guys, gentle, kind, and there is no guile in him. It is very easy to like him.
As his life history goes, his wife forcibly moved him to Australia. In the new country, Tom has two daughters. The elder daughter is a most accomplished individual. In her high school, she easily won the Gold medal of the International English Exam for the entire commonwealth countries one particular year. During her free time, she picked up sufficient Korean from watching sitcoms that she could pass herself off as a Korean language graduate. Her first degree is in Japanese language. At some point of her twenties, she worked in Tokyo as a translator for two years.
I was very surprised when I heard that she went to study Library Science as a graduate degree. To my simplistic thinking, that line would be obsolete in a short time. But informed people told me that this field would merely narrow down. It would still be there, decentralised and in the digital world. A future librarian would have to be totally tech savvy, as he or she would navigate in the digital nether world. She would probably be dealing with other mediums of storage, not paper.
It was very interesting that my husband's friend is very contented with his life in his adopted country while each one of his children seems unhappy that their mum uses the children's allotted money from the government for house keeping. Here both parents are frugal and try very hard to make full use of whatever resources they have. They take each part-time job they could as jobs come along. Yet there is a sense of the children against the parents.
The elder daughter moved out as soon as she turned eighteen, I think. The younger daughter saw the disadvantages that her sister chose and elected to stay on with the family even when she was of age. I know little of how parents communicate with children overseas, a week or two of vacation does not allow one to really see life as it is in a new country. When I was with Tom's family, we had pasta for lunch. The elder daughter came back, the mother offered to cook extra pasta, fry two eggs and warm up mushroom soup; the visitor shook her head and went to her room to take a few items and proceeded to leave. Apparently she was displeased to bump into me and my husband. When I related this experience with another Aussie graduate, she said that is one of the cost of migration. She and her husband counted the cost and they did not go even though they were offered the green card twice.
As I moved around my husband's university alumnus friends through the years, I have grown to like quite a few of them. We will call this particular one Tom. He is one of the most unassuming guys, gentle, kind, and there is no guile in him. It is very easy to like him.
As his life history goes, his wife forcibly moved him to Australia. In the new country, Tom has two daughters. The elder daughter is a most accomplished individual. In her high school, she easily won the Gold medal of the International English Exam for the entire commonwealth countries one particular year. During her free time, she picked up sufficient Korean from watching sitcoms that she could pass herself off as a Korean language graduate. Her first degree is in Japanese language. At some point of her twenties, she worked in Tokyo as a translator for two years.
I was very surprised when I heard that she went to study Library Science as a graduate degree. To my simplistic thinking, that line would be obsolete in a short time. But informed people told me that this field would merely narrow down. It would still be there, decentralised and in the digital world. A future librarian would have to be totally tech savvy, as he or she would navigate in the digital nether world. She would probably be dealing with other mediums of storage, not paper.
It was very interesting that my husband's friend is very contented with his life in his adopted country while each one of his children seems unhappy that their mum uses the children's allotted money from the government for house keeping. Here both parents are frugal and try very hard to make full use of whatever resources they have. They take each part-time job they could as jobs come along. Yet there is a sense of the children against the parents.
The elder daughter moved out as soon as she turned eighteen, I think. The younger daughter saw the disadvantages that her sister chose and elected to stay on with the family even when she was of age. I know little of how parents communicate with children overseas, a week or two of vacation does not allow one to really see life as it is in a new country. When I was with Tom's family, we had pasta for lunch. The elder daughter came back, the mother offered to cook extra pasta, fry two eggs and warm up mushroom soup; the visitor shook her head and went to her room to take a few items and proceeded to leave. Apparently she was displeased to bump into me and my husband. When I related this experience with another Aussie graduate, she said that is one of the cost of migration. She and her husband counted the cost and they did not go even though they were offered the green card twice.
(1172)The cutting of ties.
Chinese New Year gatherings are usually held in the Low family home. As in most middle-income families, the Lows have two children. Victor is the older and Mauve is the younger one. Victor grew up with his paternal granddad and grandma. Mauve was in her maternal grandparents' house until she was six.
They have three cousins: Joshua, Denise and Elise. Joshua and Elise grew up with their stay-at-home mom. Denise was the odd one out, she lived under the care of her father's parents. During most school holidays, Joshua and Elise would spend many weeks with Victor and Mauve. The latter's parents were most hospitable.
One Chinese New Year, the two older children: the two boys elected to play their preferred card games. It is usually the dominant who leads the pack, not just among children but true for dogs and chickens as well. In this case, Denise chose to take offence. She sulked and snuck upstairs to read books. The house downstairs were filled with loads of adults, walking in and out of the kitchen, busy talking and eating Chinese New Year delicacies. By the time some guests moved off and the adults noticed, the down-stairs group was uproariously enjoying their game of Bluff. The lonely one upstairs was hurt and upset. Anyway, it was time to take her back to her grandparents.
Since the three children's parents (j, d and e) actually live in a town two hours by car away from the Lows, it was not often that Denise had the chance to visit the Lows. It is interesting that was the very last time Denise appeared in the Low's house. Strong opinions dictated that after both grandparents passed on, she finally broke the pattern and appeared once again twenty years later. As a result of her choice to take offence and talked her elders into letting her off the visit for consecutive years, she wilfully cut off her ties to 50% of her relatives. It is amazing or rather horrifying that such a small incident ( the grandma called it smelly cat poo) - children's disagreement could lead to the end result.
*.......
They have three cousins: Joshua, Denise and Elise. Joshua and Elise grew up with their stay-at-home mom. Denise was the odd one out, she lived under the care of her father's parents. During most school holidays, Joshua and Elise would spend many weeks with Victor and Mauve. The latter's parents were most hospitable.
One Chinese New Year, the two older children: the two boys elected to play their preferred card games. It is usually the dominant who leads the pack, not just among children but true for dogs and chickens as well. In this case, Denise chose to take offence. She sulked and snuck upstairs to read books. The house downstairs were filled with loads of adults, walking in and out of the kitchen, busy talking and eating Chinese New Year delicacies. By the time some guests moved off and the adults noticed, the down-stairs group was uproariously enjoying their game of Bluff. The lonely one upstairs was hurt and upset. Anyway, it was time to take her back to her grandparents.
Since the three children's parents (j, d and e) actually live in a town two hours by car away from the Lows, it was not often that Denise had the chance to visit the Lows. It is interesting that was the very last time Denise appeared in the Low's house. Strong opinions dictated that after both grandparents passed on, she finally broke the pattern and appeared once again twenty years later. As a result of her choice to take offence and talked her elders into letting her off the visit for consecutive years, she wilfully cut off her ties to 50% of her relatives. It is amazing or rather horrifying that such a small incident ( the grandma called it smelly cat poo) - children's disagreement could lead to the end result.
*.......
(1171) Confucius proverb
There is a Chinese proverb: a woman with no material talent is virtuous. I was never quite a feminist but had problem with this saying for many years.
We will look at four cases:
1. My mum's best friend is a very blessed woman. She single-handedly brought up six children and all her children love and respect her. Probably fifteen years ago, her rich son bought a new house for her and husband and unmarried daughter, it was in a very exclusive and desirable area. The entire family wanted them to move but she vetoed the idea. They continued to stay in an old house next to a highway: noisy, dusty and the neighbourhood was deteriorating to become foreign workers' bunk houses. After the untimely death of her husband, she lived on a comfortable trust fund with her only daughter. No one knows if she had elected to move out of the unhealthy area, her husband might have lived a little longer.
2. My mother-in-law was a woman of means. When her husband passed on, the family suggested moving her to an apartment near her youngest child. She categorically objected and the idea became moot. Probably about fifteen years later, she cried and groaned about being confined in her prison of a house to all and sundry. But it was too late, no one dares to take on the thankless task of relocating her as she was infirm and was awaiting death.
3. My good friend (blog 1133) will probably face the same kind of problem in about ten years' time. This friend of mine was a famous business woman in her hey days. She inherited loads in her mature years and became very active in increasing her portfolio. She expected to live with her daughters-in-law and grand children all under the same roof. But in real life her first son and wife are in a house more than 5 miles from the 7-room detached building.
4. My mum has only three children. She has long been what Confucius termed a virtuous woman. When she was young, she obeyed her mum and dad. After she was married, she listened to my dad. Now that she is widowed, she listens to my brothers. Because she has no money-making talents, and she did not inherit great wealth, therefore she could not vote to go against the better judgement of her kin. In contrast she lives a good life, well loved and cared for by the next two generations. It is ironic that the great sage could say four little words that could still govern life under the sun a few thousand years later.
Money could confer the choice of making wrong decisions for the woman concerned. Unhappily, a woman of means could let her independence lead her into her bind in the end.
We will look at four cases:
1. My mum's best friend is a very blessed woman. She single-handedly brought up six children and all her children love and respect her. Probably fifteen years ago, her rich son bought a new house for her and husband and unmarried daughter, it was in a very exclusive and desirable area. The entire family wanted them to move but she vetoed the idea. They continued to stay in an old house next to a highway: noisy, dusty and the neighbourhood was deteriorating to become foreign workers' bunk houses. After the untimely death of her husband, she lived on a comfortable trust fund with her only daughter. No one knows if she had elected to move out of the unhealthy area, her husband might have lived a little longer.
2. My mother-in-law was a woman of means. When her husband passed on, the family suggested moving her to an apartment near her youngest child. She categorically objected and the idea became moot. Probably about fifteen years later, she cried and groaned about being confined in her prison of a house to all and sundry. But it was too late, no one dares to take on the thankless task of relocating her as she was infirm and was awaiting death.
3. My good friend (blog 1133) will probably face the same kind of problem in about ten years' time. This friend of mine was a famous business woman in her hey days. She inherited loads in her mature years and became very active in increasing her portfolio. She expected to live with her daughters-in-law and grand children all under the same roof. But in real life her first son and wife are in a house more than 5 miles from the 7-room detached building.
4. My mum has only three children. She has long been what Confucius termed a virtuous woman. When she was young, she obeyed her mum and dad. After she was married, she listened to my dad. Now that she is widowed, she listens to my brothers. Because she has no money-making talents, and she did not inherit great wealth, therefore she could not vote to go against the better judgement of her kin. In contrast she lives a good life, well loved and cared for by the next two generations. It is ironic that the great sage could say four little words that could still govern life under the sun a few thousand years later.
Money could confer the choice of making wrong decisions for the woman concerned. Unhappily, a woman of means could let her independence lead her into her bind in the end.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
(1170) Rebuke
As the second anniversary of my hospitalisation drew near, I prayed another searching prayer. The gist of it involved two dates, one in May and one in July. The proposed trip in May lasts about seven weeks and the one in July about nine weeks. Of course the amount attached to July would be much more than May because of the duration of the trip.
Much to my surprise, money did come in the form of money remitted from out of my country, about four hundred more than what I asked for. That itself is another side story.
The amount that arrived paid for outgoing ticket to Sabah, living expenses for nine weeks. In addition, using the money sent in, I bought return ticket to KL and outgoing to Borneo after nine weeks. One week before the return date, I was very discouraged. In my heart, I was thinking: very smart, how could you abandon a comfortable existence and come here to deal with terrible plumbing in Borneo?? I was very tempted to fly back to KL and burn the outgoing ticket. Then I would tell God please give me a house with a proper functioning toilet before I fly out.
My pastor was a relatively young chap who dares to preach God's truth without fearing the congregation. To be truthful, I seldom hear of preachers who preach like him in KL or Silver City. That Sunday his message hit my heart. He said that in every life there is a mission. We are not created to enjoy comfort, to have a good time on earth alone. We each are amazingly crafted to fulfil one or many specific purpose(s) to bless others and to glorify God in the process.
I felt really ashamed. Here I am, complaining about no kitchen facilities. Moaning about toilet water source that leaks and the outlet conduit that is stuck. How was I to survive if he did bring me to that place with no water and electrical supply?
Within a week, I changed my mind. I burned two tickets and stayed on with my own funds. Foolish, perhaps. But by now I saw the 16 year-old student reading some days on a standard 4 level in English stories, it is very gratifying. At least I am doing something constructive with my golden years. Since I am not an ambitious person, I'll help one child at a time, like the person who pick one star fish at a time to throw it back to the sea. One star fish thrown back to the water is one life saved. For those whose life I touch, one person is immeasurably loved by God, worthy of all my attention for a few years in the creator's eyes.
Much to my surprise, money did come in the form of money remitted from out of my country, about four hundred more than what I asked for. That itself is another side story.
The amount that arrived paid for outgoing ticket to Sabah, living expenses for nine weeks. In addition, using the money sent in, I bought return ticket to KL and outgoing to Borneo after nine weeks. One week before the return date, I was very discouraged. In my heart, I was thinking: very smart, how could you abandon a comfortable existence and come here to deal with terrible plumbing in Borneo?? I was very tempted to fly back to KL and burn the outgoing ticket. Then I would tell God please give me a house with a proper functioning toilet before I fly out.
My pastor was a relatively young chap who dares to preach God's truth without fearing the congregation. To be truthful, I seldom hear of preachers who preach like him in KL or Silver City. That Sunday his message hit my heart. He said that in every life there is a mission. We are not created to enjoy comfort, to have a good time on earth alone. We each are amazingly crafted to fulfil one or many specific purpose(s) to bless others and to glorify God in the process.
I felt really ashamed. Here I am, complaining about no kitchen facilities. Moaning about toilet water source that leaks and the outlet conduit that is stuck. How was I to survive if he did bring me to that place with no water and electrical supply?
Within a week, I changed my mind. I burned two tickets and stayed on with my own funds. Foolish, perhaps. But by now I saw the 16 year-old student reading some days on a standard 4 level in English stories, it is very gratifying. At least I am doing something constructive with my golden years. Since I am not an ambitious person, I'll help one child at a time, like the person who pick one star fish at a time to throw it back to the sea. One star fish thrown back to the water is one life saved. For those whose life I touch, one person is immeasurably loved by God, worthy of all my attention for a few years in the creator's eyes.
(1169) The valley of the shadow of death
After returning to my hometown, it was filled with a series of medical appointments. From GP to Specialist, from semi Government to Government hospitals. Two CAT scans and a scope test later, I found myself with a life threatening disease.
Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, Brachytherapy ... blood infusion, medical officers, specialists, nurses, nutritionists ... Indeed having such a disease is like fighting a war. The bright side of things is when I went for prayers in a big conference in Singapore, the lady who prayed for me said that I did nothing wrong, God was pleased with me. She said that God told her I trusted God fully. Just go through what the doctors ordered and God would heal me.
He did. On July 10 I had a three-monthly follow up and would move to a 6-monthly check up next. I took a look at my medical records, as I flew to Sabah, it was exactly 2 years to the day since I went into the hospital.
Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, Brachytherapy ... blood infusion, medical officers, specialists, nurses, nutritionists ... Indeed having such a disease is like fighting a war. The bright side of things is when I went for prayers in a big conference in Singapore, the lady who prayed for me said that I did nothing wrong, God was pleased with me. She said that God told her I trusted God fully. Just go through what the doctors ordered and God would heal me.
He did. On July 10 I had a three-monthly follow up and would move to a 6-monthly check up next. I took a look at my medical records, as I flew to Sabah, it was exactly 2 years to the day since I went into the hospital.
(1168) Good-bye
In December 2016, our landlord intended to increase our rental. I told God and asked what next, He said, go home.
That I did. It was heart-breaking giving up more than half of what I had accumulated in the three room, three bath house with a comfortable living room. Yet it was heartening to see the maid who received my household goods crying and praising God for her blessing.
We moved what my son needed into two small rooms on top of a shop. I left Seldarado, not knowing if it was a good bye for ever. Giving thanks for 2.5 years of peace and happiness.
That I did. It was heart-breaking giving up more than half of what I had accumulated in the three room, three bath house with a comfortable living room. Yet it was heartening to see the maid who received my household goods crying and praising God for her blessing.
We moved what my son needed into two small rooms on top of a shop. I left Seldarado, not knowing if it was a good bye for ever. Giving thanks for 2.5 years of peace and happiness.
(1167) Reaching to help one child
I still remember how a church kindergarten teacher passed her group of six tuition children to my son in the beginning of September, 2013.
Among the six, there was a 11-year-old boy who was afraid of drum beats from lion dance. Looking at his white face, sweating palms and drops of cold sweat whenever there was a practice of lion dance troupe within audio range.
This boy was suicidal. He viewed his life as grey, there was seemingly no hope in sight. Over a period of six months or so, I tried everything I knew or dreamed up with him. Nothing seemed to work. While he was in depression, I was in despair.
By chance, I sat next to an old lady who happened to be the prayer warrior in church over lunch. She politely enquired about our tuition students, out came my doomed and gloomed reply. She told me how I should have structured prayer time and spend at least two hours in prayer every morning before breakfast. On hearing my protest that I could not sustained continuous prayer more than half an hour, she suggested I pray in tongues. What if I fall asleep while praying? She suggested a bed time of 8pm and wake up at 5am. She said that it does not take the brain to pray in tongues, I could be reading an interesting book while praying continually.
That I did, for slightly more than one year. I must confess that while I was praying, I saw no result whatsoever. It was after I left Borneo, stopped praying that my son gradually told me the boy's sudden improvements by leaps and bounds over a 2 year period.
Among the six, there was a 11-year-old boy who was afraid of drum beats from lion dance. Looking at his white face, sweating palms and drops of cold sweat whenever there was a practice of lion dance troupe within audio range.
This boy was suicidal. He viewed his life as grey, there was seemingly no hope in sight. Over a period of six months or so, I tried everything I knew or dreamed up with him. Nothing seemed to work. While he was in depression, I was in despair.
By chance, I sat next to an old lady who happened to be the prayer warrior in church over lunch. She politely enquired about our tuition students, out came my doomed and gloomed reply. She told me how I should have structured prayer time and spend at least two hours in prayer every morning before breakfast. On hearing my protest that I could not sustained continuous prayer more than half an hour, she suggested I pray in tongues. What if I fall asleep while praying? She suggested a bed time of 8pm and wake up at 5am. She said that it does not take the brain to pray in tongues, I could be reading an interesting book while praying continually.
That I did, for slightly more than one year. I must confess that while I was praying, I saw no result whatsoever. It was after I left Borneo, stopped praying that my son gradually told me the boy's sudden improvements by leaps and bounds over a 2 year period.
(1166) Residency
Twelve months passed very fast. The supposed last trip was slotted during the last two weeks of the 12-month rental period. My son wisely told me that it was probably futile making one-week trips, I needed longer to get a job.
During the second week, my husband and I sent our old car for servicing. We went to a shop in mile seven that we never visited. As the car was being worked on, we had breakfast and I walked around the area. Upon seeing a college, I stepped up to ask if there was a vacancy for an English instructor.
Amazingly, there was a need for a substitute teacher for maternity replacement. I sent in a resume with the relevant certificates, and I was hired within four days. With a letter of appointment from the college, I made seven trips to the immigration office during teaching hours and obtained a one-year work permit.
During the second week, my husband and I sent our old car for servicing. We went to a shop in mile seven that we never visited. As the car was being worked on, we had breakfast and I walked around the area. Upon seeing a college, I stepped up to ask if there was a vacancy for an English instructor.
Amazingly, there was a need for a substitute teacher for maternity replacement. I sent in a resume with the relevant certificates, and I was hired within four days. With a letter of appointment from the college, I made seven trips to the immigration office during teaching hours and obtained a one-year work permit.
(1165) Setting house keeping
After renting the house, I must have made at least four trips to bring stuff over. Every second household item I owned was packed in boxes and brought over. I still recall sending seven boxes over using 30 kilo limit that cost $15 for one particular trip.
My husband sent our old car over by ship. It cost slightly more than $2 000. Until we had a car there, we went everywhere by mini bus.
There was one trip I went over alone, Laynee was leaving Seldarado and sold me her air-conditioner. One morning the service folks came and installed the unit in the Master's suite. After the men left, I closed the front wooden door and proceeded to mop the floor. In a moment of inattention, I slipped on the wet floor and fell. I must have hit my head and passed out. It took me a long time after regaining consciousness to gather enough strength to get up. My shoulder hurt terribly. It occurred to me momentarily that if I could not get up, I might die in an empty house. It was fortunate that by the time I returned home, the arm was finally able to move normally.
Thereafter, I left a set of house keys with friends.
My husband sent our old car over by ship. It cost slightly more than $2 000. Until we had a car there, we went everywhere by mini bus.
There was one trip I went over alone, Laynee was leaving Seldarado and sold me her air-conditioner. One morning the service folks came and installed the unit in the Master's suite. After the men left, I closed the front wooden door and proceeded to mop the floor. In a moment of inattention, I slipped on the wet floor and fell. I must have hit my head and passed out. It took me a long time after regaining consciousness to gather enough strength to get up. My shoulder hurt terribly. It occurred to me momentarily that if I could not get up, I might die in an empty house. It was fortunate that by the time I returned home, the arm was finally able to move normally.
Thereafter, I left a set of house keys with friends.
(1164) Confirmation
I then prayed specifically for one year's rental $550 x 12. It is a small amount by any standard. But you see, I asked for a three room apartment with a market value of $800 monthly lease. I figure, if God really want me in Seldarado, then nothing to it for him to convince some landlord to give me low rental.
The amount came in the form of inheritance. My dad was a Godly man who would send money back to build a stone house for his mom and deceased brother's family. As the family estate was being sold, some money came for my brothers and I. It was not a large amount, but definitely sufficient for one year's rental.
The apartment I asked for, however, came in the form of a double-storey house with land at the back. It was much better than any apartment possible. A pastor's sister was willing to let it at low rental for bible translators. The introducer was a missionary, he did not want to move as he just obtained stable Wi-Fi for his graduate on-line course. Since my husband was a member of a Friend of Bible Translation NGO, we were thought to be translators.
The amount came in the form of inheritance. My dad was a Godly man who would send money back to build a stone house for his mom and deceased brother's family. As the family estate was being sold, some money came for my brothers and I. It was not a large amount, but definitely sufficient for one year's rental.
The apartment I asked for, however, came in the form of a double-storey house with land at the back. It was much better than any apartment possible. A pastor's sister was willing to let it at low rental for bible translators. The introducer was a missionary, he did not want to move as he just obtained stable Wi-Fi for his graduate on-line course. Since my husband was a member of a Friend of Bible Translation NGO, we were thought to be translators.
(1163) A Promise
I returned home and told my mother what happened in the last blog. We talked about it for a week or two and she was curious enough to offer to finance another trip to Seldarado. The second trip we stayed for seven nights. Nothing happened during the seven nights. We had a good time eating sea food and seeing the town that was a former capital city before WW2.
Interestingly, the very night I returned to my home in the Klang valley, I had a vivid dream. Until today I could see the dream if I close my eyes. In the dream I was sitting in front of a mirror in a changing room, probably behind a stage. Laynee, my Orang Sungai friend from Seldorado, was putting finishing touches on my elaborate hairdo. In the dream I had long black hair, something like what I had during my carefree college days.
"Don't be afraid! See the beautiful dress hung there. You will look fine. Just five minutes and your part will be over. It will be ok, you'll see..." Laynee said with encouragement.
It was a light green dress, sparkling and shimmering like those ball room dancing gowns one sees on TV. The dream ended.
A few days later, the interpretation came: If you choose Seldarado, I will give you a new life there.
Within a week, I told God I chose Seldarado and I wanted the new life offered.
Interestingly, the very night I returned to my home in the Klang valley, I had a vivid dream. Until today I could see the dream if I close my eyes. In the dream I was sitting in front of a mirror in a changing room, probably behind a stage. Laynee, my Orang Sungai friend from Seldorado, was putting finishing touches on my elaborate hairdo. In the dream I had long black hair, something like what I had during my carefree college days.
"Don't be afraid! See the beautiful dress hung there. You will look fine. Just five minutes and your part will be over. It will be ok, you'll see..." Laynee said with encouragement.
It was a light green dress, sparkling and shimmering like those ball room dancing gowns one sees on TV. The dream ended.
A few days later, the interpretation came: If you choose Seldarado, I will give you a new life there.
Within a week, I told God I chose Seldarado and I wanted the new life offered.
(1162) A call in a dream
The prophesy in 1984 stated that I would serve God in a place with no pipe water nor grid electricity with two bags.
In one night, while on a three day two night trip to Seldarado in the first half of the year, I woke up thinking I heard some one calling my name which was used in America as a college student.
If I had been alert and fearless, I should have said," Lord, speak, for your servant is listening."
I was a fearful person who still recalled my grandma's advice not to answer a call unless I could see the person calling, especially in the wilderness. Since the hotel was kind of set in an area with lots of fields and woods, it felt like a wilderness area. I did not answer the call.
In one night, while on a three day two night trip to Seldarado in the first half of the year, I woke up thinking I heard some one calling my name which was used in America as a college student.
If I had been alert and fearless, I should have said," Lord, speak, for your servant is listening."
I was a fearful person who still recalled my grandma's advice not to answer a call unless I could see the person calling, especially in the wilderness. Since the hotel was kind of set in an area with lots of fields and woods, it felt like a wilderness area. I did not answer the call.
(1161) Summary of a long story
I was collecting alkaline water in the office as my contact asked me," Are you from Seldarado?" Most people assumed that I was originally from this town. If not, then why did I end up spending years here?
Well, it was a long story. Normally, I don't really want to tell. Neither did anyone who asked really want to hear it. A few days later, I wondered if I could summarised the happenings within ten points. One afternoon I picked up a pen and wrote down ten pieces of facts.
1. I received a prophesy in the New Braunfels First Baptist Church on the last Sunday of September, 1984.
2. I had a dream in Seldarado, Sabah in 2013
3. A second dream with interpretation came three months or so later.
4. Answer to my prayer for one year's rental came.
5. A few trips to bring stuff over to equip a house by faith, an old car was shipped over
6. On the last two weeks' of that one year's rental, by chance I found a contract teaching job that gave me a work permit for one year's stay in August 2013.
7. Helping to teach my son's student, I came to the end of human methodology. Resorted to serious and persistent praying for a suicidal 11 year old boy.
8. Marching order to return to my home across the sea after 2.5 years in residence in Seldarado. Giving away half our household to fit into two small rooms, my son stayed on.
9. Hospitalisation and the fight for my life. God's promise to heal. Published three books in paper format, medical fee is high.
10. Confirmation of plan to return to Seldarado on July 11, 2019 of $3407 given by kind people I newly met. Ended up working with a 16 year old who could not read in Chinese, English and Malay. Received direct guidance and began to see effect of my intervention in early September.
The following nine blogs would document this process that took about over forty years to fulfil.
Well, it was a long story. Normally, I don't really want to tell. Neither did anyone who asked really want to hear it. A few days later, I wondered if I could summarised the happenings within ten points. One afternoon I picked up a pen and wrote down ten pieces of facts.
1. I received a prophesy in the New Braunfels First Baptist Church on the last Sunday of September, 1984.
2. I had a dream in Seldarado, Sabah in 2013
3. A second dream with interpretation came three months or so later.
4. Answer to my prayer for one year's rental came.
5. A few trips to bring stuff over to equip a house by faith, an old car was shipped over
6. On the last two weeks' of that one year's rental, by chance I found a contract teaching job that gave me a work permit for one year's stay in August 2013.
7. Helping to teach my son's student, I came to the end of human methodology. Resorted to serious and persistent praying for a suicidal 11 year old boy.
8. Marching order to return to my home across the sea after 2.5 years in residence in Seldarado. Giving away half our household to fit into two small rooms, my son stayed on.
9. Hospitalisation and the fight for my life. God's promise to heal. Published three books in paper format, medical fee is high.
10. Confirmation of plan to return to Seldarado on July 11, 2019 of $3407 given by kind people I newly met. Ended up working with a 16 year old who could not read in Chinese, English and Malay. Received direct guidance and began to see effect of my intervention in early September.
The following nine blogs would document this process that took about over forty years to fulfil.
(1160) simple and economic meals
Yesterday I had a small fried bawal putin (white pomfret) fish at my usual lunch place.
Here is the reminiscent tale I told my son:-
Probably twenty over years ago I was tagging along with Angie, after picking up something from a friend's house, we dropped by May Leng's.
That year both of May Leng's children were in morning session school. We all three were regulars at the mothers' group. Smelling a fragrant fried fish scent, I lifted the food cover and saw one tiny (as big as my palm) bawal putih fish, nicely fried with some flour coating it.
Later in the car, Angie and I expressed our surprise at serving one fish for two growing children. It is not that Angie was rich or I was lavish in serving sumptuous lunches. I guessed that May Leng might later fry a vegetable and had steamed egg in the rice cooker. Angie was adamant that a fish and white rice was lunch. She said that she would bet $10 against five cents that she was right. I was not a betting type and I let the challenge slid.
As she drove me home she reminded me that the tiny house could boast of a Compaq computer, a Sony VCD player and a wide screen Panasonic TV... May Leng's husband probably lived it up as a graduate lecturer in a prestigious University in KL. Yet May Leng and the children lived a most economical lifestyle in Silver City. Angie had been marketing with our economical friend many times and she was appalled at how little the thrifty woman purchased at a regular basis.
After that day, I was a little more observant and the accumulated information over time did reveal a similar story as the image Angie painted. If my husband values me for my knowledge and insight, May Leng's probably loved her for her economic prudence. To each his own, I supposed. Today, I look at the two healthy grown children(yes, I am still in touch), it is quite ok to be brought up on simple, economic fare.
Here is the reminiscent tale I told my son:-
Probably twenty over years ago I was tagging along with Angie, after picking up something from a friend's house, we dropped by May Leng's.
That year both of May Leng's children were in morning session school. We all three were regulars at the mothers' group. Smelling a fragrant fried fish scent, I lifted the food cover and saw one tiny (as big as my palm) bawal putih fish, nicely fried with some flour coating it.
Later in the car, Angie and I expressed our surprise at serving one fish for two growing children. It is not that Angie was rich or I was lavish in serving sumptuous lunches. I guessed that May Leng might later fry a vegetable and had steamed egg in the rice cooker. Angie was adamant that a fish and white rice was lunch. She said that she would bet $10 against five cents that she was right. I was not a betting type and I let the challenge slid.
As she drove me home she reminded me that the tiny house could boast of a Compaq computer, a Sony VCD player and a wide screen Panasonic TV... May Leng's husband probably lived it up as a graduate lecturer in a prestigious University in KL. Yet May Leng and the children lived a most economical lifestyle in Silver City. Angie had been marketing with our economical friend many times and she was appalled at how little the thrifty woman purchased at a regular basis.
After that day, I was a little more observant and the accumulated information over time did reveal a similar story as the image Angie painted. If my husband values me for my knowledge and insight, May Leng's probably loved her for her economic prudence. To each his own, I supposed. Today, I look at the two healthy grown children(yes, I am still in touch), it is quite ok to be brought up on simple, economic fare.
(1159) Exploitation
While on the topic of my work stint in the state college, I should tell you about the housing estate around it. It just so happened that there was a mosque next to the area. Having been born and brought up in a Moslem country, I should be well versed in related laws. Yet I was surprised that there was a rule that within x metres from a mosque, no one could sell pork or pork products. The result is no Chinese eatery could exist there. I would say that half the shops in that area are empty. It is a half dead place.
We will call this area Pumpkin Spice Garden. When I first worked there, I brought extra breakfast as lunch. Then I went to the only pork free Chinese restaurant. There I quickly got tired of eating the mix rice cooked by a native cook. Soon I was hunting for a new place to eat on foot or by car.
There was one alley that I walked past that was foul smelling. I mentioned about that in the college office and my colleague, Jackson, laughed. Apparently there were land lords who partitioned both upstairs and down stairs into cubicles for foreign workers. It was not only fire traps, it was slum housing. Since the rental was at rock bottom, stopped-up toilets were not repaired. Urine flowed into the drains behind and around the shops that were meant for bath water. The poor workers had to resort to using the toilets at work.
When I was a child, I have never heard nor seen any worker from any foreign country. It was in the roaring eighties that every rich Mary, Jane and Margaret hired Indonesian maids. Little do I know how badly foreign workers were being exploited.
We will call this area Pumpkin Spice Garden. When I first worked there, I brought extra breakfast as lunch. Then I went to the only pork free Chinese restaurant. There I quickly got tired of eating the mix rice cooked by a native cook. Soon I was hunting for a new place to eat on foot or by car.
There was one alley that I walked past that was foul smelling. I mentioned about that in the college office and my colleague, Jackson, laughed. Apparently there were land lords who partitioned both upstairs and down stairs into cubicles for foreign workers. It was not only fire traps, it was slum housing. Since the rental was at rock bottom, stopped-up toilets were not repaired. Urine flowed into the drains behind and around the shops that were meant for bath water. The poor workers had to resort to using the toilets at work.
When I was a child, I have never heard nor seen any worker from any foreign country. It was in the roaring eighties that every rich Mary, Jane and Margaret hired Indonesian maids. Little do I know how badly foreign workers were being exploited.
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