(1336) Jess 3

Jess3 is a single mum. Her husband gambled away their jointly owned marital home. He ended it all by hitting an embankment with his old car.

Jess3 picked up the pieces by raising her two children. Elder son ended up with the wrong company. As soon as he was employed, he acquired a few credit cards. Uncontrolled spending almost made him a bankrupt within a few months. Her younger daughter was physically abused by an ill-chosen babysitter during mum's marital woes. The damaging effects of physical abuse was not treated. No police report was made. The child did not see any therapist. Seventeen years later, she moves from job to job. Employers cited her poor attitude. But I think she experienced communication gaps unwittingly, as she had lived too long in her own thought or dream world to adjust to having to be fully attentive at work.

A counsellor Jess3 talked to, suggested that she should deliberately leave her past behind by changing her name. She attempted to forgive and forget her deceased husband. That seemed to help, once she changed her name she found a better paying job that she enjoyed.

(1335) Jess 2

Jess2 migrated to New Zealand with her dad. Her mum passively refused to go along. A month before their supposed departure date, mum killed herself.

Interestingly, Jess2 married a rich man's son and returned to her home town. I wonder why she took the trouble to leave this country. With inherited wealth as well as married money, she struggled with four young children with no household help. She became run-down, haggard, and looked twenty years older than her real age.

While she could financially afford to deliver each child in New Zealand, she haggled with child care providers in her hometown. She was terribly calculative with her few remaining friends. Dealing with depression, she mumbled about her future was all already written in the genes. Those of us who knew her past, feared that eventually she would kill herself too. Yet who could help a person who was secretive, distant and suspicious?

The fact that she grew up with maids in her childhood home, did not help her adult life as a homemaker. With much wealth to spare, she chose to do every bit of house work and ferry each child herself. She worked herself to a frazzle.

(1334) Jess 1

There are three women with the same English name, here I will pick the name "Jess".

Jess1 had a high school sweet heart. After quite a few years of working in the corporate world, she grew distant from him by and by. Later she married into a good family who was growing rich. Her husband made his personal fortune in the IT line. She lives in an expensive house, drives a late-model large car. She has three boys, who rebelled and hardly talked to her. She is rich, but struggles with normal house work. Her sitting room is like a war zone, one could hardly find any chair to sit on. Clothes (dried but not folded), books, magazines and other reading material lie everywhere.

Her successful husband increasingly travels to avoid scenes at home.

In contrast to that, her ex-boy friend managed to get by running a shoe-string agency with a humble wife who sews for a living. This couple married late in life, they have no children. It is a quiet but happy life.

I have sat in my friend's car and had a glimpse of her when she popped out of her house to pick up something my friend brought. Judging by one of her boys, she probably had had some difficulty to overcome during her school days. Otherwise he would not find it hard to handle languages in a government school. Then the fact that she actually volunteers to teach poor children who could not catch up in schools kind of pointed to the fact that she probably had some experience in that line.

(1333) Antics

A friend's second son gave her quite a bit of a headache. The family moved from a wooden house with palm leaf roof, to a concrete house. To the adults, it was a distinct improvement. The four year old refused to ease himself, kept on insisting he wanted to go back to the old house.

After three days, the poor father drove him back to use the rustic outdoor toilet. The father explained that the old house was sold to another family, that visit had to be the last. The little boy deposited his considerable load in the old out house and promised that he would be good from then on. Sure enough, he did not give his mum anymore problem from then on.

Today this young man graduated with a double degree of electrical engineering and business administration in record time from a prestigious university. He was recruited to work in the famed economic unit of a neighbouring country. Out of his generation of young men, he had done well.

A cousin's eldest son would wait for his father to be home before he used the toilet for his number two, daily task. His mother found the habit baffling and frustrating. It was just as well his father's job did not entail business travel. Otherwise the little fellow would have serious elimination problem long term.

After Primary school, he successfully sat for an entrance exam which enabled him to skip two grades. A new International School in his vicinity accepted him in advance standing and waived half the fee to enable his parents to enrol him. After Grade 12, he completed his A-level equivalent and entered a full fledged university before he was 18. He also ended up in the little island nation that attracted many talented young people from my country.

Is it co-incidental that these two boys had such an unusual preference or habit? Both of them are extremely bright. Or could it be that such brilliance in the upper storey came with minor eccentricities?

(1332) Cultural Part 2

The native young man in part 1 applied for an apartment from a government agency. A successful applicant would pay $140 every month for 10 years, then the unit he occupies would be his: a 3-room apartment.

It was not easy to be chosen. Sabah is the poorest state in the country. Amazingly, he heard from an unofficial grape vine, that his name was picked from a lottery system. Unfortunately, a cousin of his mother who worked in the agency unlawfully gave it to the cousin's brother.

What was shocking to me was: nobody complained! Interestingly, an uncle of the young man in question also worked in that agency. The uncle was higher in rank, but he was of a different section. When his sister confronted him in private, he said he did not do anything wrong. The wrong doer was not his subordinate. He would never allow his underlings to do such things. After all, he had no jurisdiction over the bad guy.

So, what will happen to this poor couple? They would stay put and multiply. Would the structure last forever? No! Will it fall ultimately? Yes! Could someone be hurt? Yes again. Then, this entire saga with names and details would undoubtedly appear on the internet and turn viral. Maybe the public would donate towards the homeless and the injured. Finally, this family may be given a house then. No wonder forty years ago, my dad said this is a lovely part of our nation, but it would not progress and prosper. He worked here about for two years. Now I know the true reason why.

(1331) Fresh Eggs

This morning I noticed trays of eggs being sold in my favourite noodle shop. As I just brought enough money for breakfast, I returned there on my second journey out to buy vegetables.

Apparently those eggs packed in transparent pink cases were from a former rabbit farm in Mile 15. In Malaysia this is a common way referring to places by the distance from a town centre. I bought a pack of ten Grade B eggs at $8.50. Before the COVID pandemic, the rabbit farm was a popular destination for families during week-ends, and school trips on week days. After a few shutdowns lasting many months, the poor owners had to transform their business model to survive during these difficult times.

I am an egg lover. When I could, I actually prefer to buy eggs from dedicated suppliers from wet markets. With the coronavirus lurking in crowded places, I haven't bought anything from any wet market for at least 10 months. So far I have tried supermarkets, minimarkets and a meat shop around my neighbourhood. The best eggs in terms of freshness come from a place called Popular New mini market. The worst was from the meat shop. After a good run of about 3-4 months, I was confident enough to buy a tray of 30 eggs at one go. Sad to say, there were two eggs right in the middle of the tray that was stinky and black.

The very next trip, I complained about the two bad eggs to the cashier. She was apologetic and said to bring it back, they would replace them anytime. But I don't think I want to bag hydrogen sulphide and keep it for days in my kitchen until I do drive to the out-of-the-way shop. It was not her fault, it could have been the packer in the farm, or the repacker in the shop. It was obvious that whoever it was, had purposefully substituted bad eggs among the good ones. It could not have beeen done by mistake. That was my last visit to the shop, and I found an alternative place to shop for meat, so I have been off eggs until I was going to two miles away anyway, to pick up good eggs.

Each egg may cost 55cents, it is not the money I mind losing. It was the shock of breaking an egg that "exploded" and have stinky gas everywhere in a place of food preparation. It was having to deal with the toxic remnant of bad food in my food containers. Perhaps even having to throw away a few good egg mixtures, just because a a few drops of contamination! It is the feeling of being swindled. As a free consumer with a car and lots of free time to shop, I refuse to deal with dishonest merchants who took advantage of customers paying them good money and being inconvenienced with bad eggs.

(1330) Cultural Part 1

A good friend of mine is a native of Sabah. Her parents were subsistence farmers living on their ancestral land. Somehow they brought up 11 children on a few acres of shifting cultivation agriculture. The father has passed on. The mum is still mobile and healthy.

Six years ago I visited my friend's village. As far as I could see, the family lived in three wooden houses on stilts built by the local Government. These are communal houses allotted to the poor. As long as the families continue to reside there, they are the rightful owners. Once the building is abandoned, then it will revert back to Governement.

The house on the extreme right belongs to the eldest sister, who is a widow. She has stayed there since the house was given to her husband. Her children are all grown up and scattered. She lives with an unmarried daughter and a teenage grandson. The widow lives by selling rice wine, and her daughter is a dressmaker working from home. The boy attends a nearby school.

The house in the middle used to be a dwelling of the second son's family. As he prospered in the city, his growing family joined him there. My friend is the only one who has not bought nor built her own house. During a previous family council, it was agreed by all parties concerned that it will be hers if she claims it. She did. For now, one brother and a nephew stays in the house during week days, acting as caretakers for her. By the time her nephew finishes his secondary school, she probably has to move there to keep the house.

The house on the left was occupied until my friend's father died. It was left empty for a few weeks. Then a newly married nephew moved in. Everything sounded wonderful until I heard that the house has not been upkept nor repaired since I visited it 6 years ago. I was shocked, to say the least. Here I have to explain that cultures vary from place to place. While folks in the peninsular would probably assume the free tenant would repair the house communally owned, in Sabah the expectations are different. After all, the tenant was given permission to stay in the house. This person would never own the house legally. Therefore, nobody would expect him to pour money into repairing the house. I asked, "What if the house falls down in a freak storm?" Well, if that happens, then it happens! There you see the fatality aspect of the local aboriginal life.

(1329) Overcomers: Third Child

One thing about listening to people's life story, the listener may choose not to ask any questions. For most people, there is a need to talk during social discourse.

As a listener, I only know two pieces of facts about the third child. It is a young woman who struggled through her first and only degree. She could be anywhere between the ages of 25 to 33 and, is single. Depending on her age, she was an observer of her elder sister's disastrous marriage, and her elder brother's rather unfortunate first courtship, either as a teenager or in her twenties.

If she has a strong personanlity, she may not be adversely affected. After all, her siblings are completely different from her. She may be lucky in love and wise in marriage. A woman can choose her friends and spouse(s).