The organizer called up, assuming that the fried vermicelli my family promised would be cooked by me. Honestly, I only cook three possible types of food for pot bless: fried rice, fried wanton and Chinese spinach because I have done it thousands of times that these are my fail safe food.
When my husband was courting me, I confessed that I am willing to cook for my future children but cooking is at the very bottom of my list of life skills. He said never mind, for he is a talented and great amateur cook; we would never starve. Hence we have the relationship that I prepare the food and I do the cleaning up but he would artistically cook up whatever happened to be available in the house. For I hate to shop too, my idea of nourishing myself would be to swallow some desiccated food with mugs of water and then able to not be hungry for the next 6 hours.
Genes do not lie, I look at Elizabeth attempts at cooking and realize that God has been more than kind to me. At least I could fry decent omelets and judge well how cooked or whether instant noodle is just cooked and crunchy. And interestingly Michael could whip up sinfully delicious food from funny combinations of ingredients in my fridge. Crystal is just at the stage of frying up all kinds of process meat and beginning to brew some old fashion soups her employer likes. She is in the business of geriatric care.
Just in case you think that the clutz in the kitchen is not too hot in other spheres of life, I happen to have won quite a number of full scholarships in the earlier years. Elizabeth is articulate and quite accomplished in singing, acting, music making and quite a good student if you look at her track record. Believe it or not, we are not adept at multi-step sequences like cooking. Elizabeth and I would be equally hapless in the chemistry lab. But I could have chosen to continue with a Masters in IT concentrating on expert systems, it might not have been as fun as working on children's brains and character; though the former would have been equally challenging as well. Elizabeth's professors are telling her to consider going for a Masters as she is gifted in academic writing. We will see what God has in store for her.
Friday, April 26, 2013
(244) No hope?
Today I was hopping channels among BBC, CNN, CCTV and Al Jazeera. The image that struck me was an interview with a small family in Spain. The father is jobless, the mother is unemployed and the boy is still young.
According to the man of the family, he and his wife could find no job. His parents ended up helping his family. He can see no hope for his son. What a bind for the present three generations! No wonder a fair amount of people migrate from Spain to South America. What a predicament to be in! For urban folks, there is not even land for the poor to till and grow food.
What went wrong?
I can see little human solution. One country after another went into economic crisis. But surely the Almighty who created us has good plans for each country and each individual. We have to turn to Him and He is just a prayer away.
According to the man of the family, he and his wife could find no job. His parents ended up helping his family. He can see no hope for his son. What a bind for the present three generations! No wonder a fair amount of people migrate from Spain to South America. What a predicament to be in! For urban folks, there is not even land for the poor to till and grow food.
What went wrong?
I can see little human solution. One country after another went into economic crisis. But surely the Almighty who created us has good plans for each country and each individual. We have to turn to Him and He is just a prayer away.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
(243) Overcoming pain in marriages
My area of passion is on children having learning disability. It is quite effortless to remember cases and trivia as long as they belong to my category.
For my friend, it is on marriage and divorce. Whatever anyone told her, as long as it is related to either marriage or divorce, she would remember it for life. She was rattling a list of facts while I listened on: six years have passed since she left her husband, now they have reconciled. It is like falling in love for a second time with the same person. She remembered that a speaker said that it took him six years for him to really forgive his adulterous but repentant wife and have the marriage on an even footing. Then one of my friend's friend also said that she suffered for six years, after she confessed that she had an illicit relationship abroad while she was working on her post graduate studies. Her husband did not want to end the marriage but it was hard for him to be intimate with her for a long time.
Interesting! I have not come across a single woman in this country who would admit to cheating on her husband. But as a college student in USA, I used to regularly listen to all kinds of different experiences, heart ache, disaster on male-female relationships. Perhaps my current status of being a married woman does not invite confidential sharing.
For my friend, it is on marriage and divorce. Whatever anyone told her, as long as it is related to either marriage or divorce, she would remember it for life. She was rattling a list of facts while I listened on: six years have passed since she left her husband, now they have reconciled. It is like falling in love for a second time with the same person. She remembered that a speaker said that it took him six years for him to really forgive his adulterous but repentant wife and have the marriage on an even footing. Then one of my friend's friend also said that she suffered for six years, after she confessed that she had an illicit relationship abroad while she was working on her post graduate studies. Her husband did not want to end the marriage but it was hard for him to be intimate with her for a long time.
Interesting! I have not come across a single woman in this country who would admit to cheating on her husband. But as a college student in USA, I used to regularly listen to all kinds of different experiences, heart ache, disaster on male-female relationships. Perhaps my current status of being a married woman does not invite confidential sharing.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
(242) Money is a good servant but bad master
One mother in Silver City bought a four bedroom house before she passed on. Her three unmarried daughters stayed in it. A few years back one married daughter came back from Belgium and occupied the fourth bedroom.
The eldest of these sisters is eighty years old while the youngest is already seventy. Interestingly the one which came back from abroad has three million dollars in the bank but continues to share the house with her not so wealthy sisters. It is amazing that with such liquid wealth in the bank, she would count her dollars and her pennies. These four women would argue and quarrel about amounts as small as a few dollars in house hold expenses.
Meanwhile, the married sister's husband made sure he came at least once a year and be with his wife so that she could not divorce him. He is waiting for her to be senile so that he could declare her incompetent and grab her wealth to return to Belgium. There is inherently nothing wrong with being wealthy. But in this case the wealth is not doing much good for the owner, her husband and her sisters now. No one trusts another. Each one check and recheck bills to make sure the others are not making them pay a penny more. While the money accrues interest in the bank, five people are watching each other but no one is touching even the interest as our careful married woman survives on a small part of her monthly pension.
A few years back two dead bodies were found in a Silver City house. The daughter who was in her fifties died suddenly in front of the TV. Her mother, who was bed bound, starved to death. The house land line telephone was just a matter of ten feet away from her hospital bed in the sitting room. Later relatives found two million dollars in fixed deposit in a local bank. Those two women lived very simply, without a car and with no household helper. Looking at the house and the furnishing, one would think they were destitute.
Money in the hands of wise owners can do much good, miserly people who are slaves to money would live like paupers until the day they die.
The eldest of these sisters is eighty years old while the youngest is already seventy. Interestingly the one which came back from abroad has three million dollars in the bank but continues to share the house with her not so wealthy sisters. It is amazing that with such liquid wealth in the bank, she would count her dollars and her pennies. These four women would argue and quarrel about amounts as small as a few dollars in house hold expenses.
Meanwhile, the married sister's husband made sure he came at least once a year and be with his wife so that she could not divorce him. He is waiting for her to be senile so that he could declare her incompetent and grab her wealth to return to Belgium. There is inherently nothing wrong with being wealthy. But in this case the wealth is not doing much good for the owner, her husband and her sisters now. No one trusts another. Each one check and recheck bills to make sure the others are not making them pay a penny more. While the money accrues interest in the bank, five people are watching each other but no one is touching even the interest as our careful married woman survives on a small part of her monthly pension.
A few years back two dead bodies were found in a Silver City house. The daughter who was in her fifties died suddenly in front of the TV. Her mother, who was bed bound, starved to death. The house land line telephone was just a matter of ten feet away from her hospital bed in the sitting room. Later relatives found two million dollars in fixed deposit in a local bank. Those two women lived very simply, without a car and with no household helper. Looking at the house and the furnishing, one would think they were destitute.
Money in the hands of wise owners can do much good, miserly people who are slaves to money would live like paupers until the day they die.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
(241-) Nightmares
A friend's teenage son had fever and woke up from a terrible nightmare with the image of having his legs dismembered and thrown over his head, the pain was sharp and he was frightened.
I am not any authority on dreams. After saying that the idea of the Boston Marathon came to mind. After the blasts many people had to have their leg or legs amputated. I saw the video images on International news repeatedly as I tried to make sense of the violence. If the teenage boy has been exposed to those images or even more explicit ones on the internet, it is little wonder that at night his mind tried to process and make sense of the blood shed.
One of my more sensitive daughters did have a vivid dream that she and her best friend were in line - those who refuse the mark of the beast would have their head chopped off. In her dream she was encouraging her best friend to go through momentary pain. In a sense that dream changed her world view, she now sees that her main purpose in life is to be encouraging her friend (s) to choose God. I am not trying to discount her conviction. But I see that our brain is like a Hollywood movie house, whatever goes through the brain during the day would be sorted and might be distorted in the night for filing purposes. Not all dreams would come true nor should every dream be taken seriously.
I am not any authority on dreams. After saying that the idea of the Boston Marathon came to mind. After the blasts many people had to have their leg or legs amputated. I saw the video images on International news repeatedly as I tried to make sense of the violence. If the teenage boy has been exposed to those images or even more explicit ones on the internet, it is little wonder that at night his mind tried to process and make sense of the blood shed.
One of my more sensitive daughters did have a vivid dream that she and her best friend were in line - those who refuse the mark of the beast would have their head chopped off. In her dream she was encouraging her best friend to go through momentary pain. In a sense that dream changed her world view, she now sees that her main purpose in life is to be encouraging her friend (s) to choose God. I am not trying to discount her conviction. But I see that our brain is like a Hollywood movie house, whatever goes through the brain during the day would be sorted and might be distorted in the night for filing purposes. Not all dreams would come true nor should every dream be taken seriously.
(240-) Language acquisition
Many years ago I used to teach remedial English in both public universities and a private college. As a rule, I would keep my six years of elementary Chinese education from my students. After I earned their respect, I still would pretend I don't understand Mandarin. But on the last lecture I would reveal the fact that I crossed over from being Chinese educated to living in the English educated group. Often, students asked me how I did it. It took genuine desire and years of discipline application.
Below I list the good habits one can form for the purpose of language learning:-
Means channels Media
eye read newspaper books magazines
ear hearing radio CD talking books
mouth speak friends teachers strangers
read aloud news poem stories
sing pop songs movie songs
hand write letters diary journal
eye/ear video U tube VCD/DVD TV movies
From age 12 to 21, I would have a piece of cardboard pinned on my bedroom wall. There would be drawn on it a chart for 3 months. Let's say that for the following three months I aspired to read :
1. The editorial page of the Sunday English newspaper
2. One fiction per week
3. One magazine per month
There would be boxes on my chart to tick and document if I do live up to expectation for that duration of three months.
As for hearing, I used to have a little transistor radio that I turned to English station as I did my home work in the afternoons. At night, I would listen to one hour of either BBC or Voice of America short wave broadcast at 11 pm to 12 am in bed. Forty years ago we used cassettes, I could hardly afford to buy anyway. There were no talking books on sale then. But on week end nights, I recall BBC used to put up plays and literature excerpts read by authors. Similarly I would record the hourly listening day by day.
When it came to speaking, it took conscious effort to find friends who would speak to me in English. At first I would open my mouth to talk to Indians girls I met in bus stops. From experience, they are usually English speaking if they are dressed in western clothes. I would join societies and carefully nurture friendships with girls who spoke English as a default language. Another group is teachers who appreciate students who venture into the staff room to ask them questions about class work.
Singing along to pop songs is a very fun way of learning colloquial English. I also used to watch musical and tried to find ways to copy the lyrics from friends. For example, I was singling "My favorite things" long before I understand individual words used by Julie Andrew in that song.
I had pen pals and wrote monthly letters. Starting from all Chinese entries in my Grade 6 diary, it changed gradually to all English entries in Grade 9. For my literature courses in college, I was keeping journal. Lately, I was laughing at the TV programs my children downloaded from the internet. A good example is the international students taught by Mr Brown in Mind Your Language. By borrowing DVD movies, I still make attempts to improve my listening skills. With the advent of 24 hours TV broadcast, watching National Geographic and Discovery Science would be wonderful avenues to improve our vocabulary.
This proverb is always true: where there is the will, we will find a way to achieve our heart's desire.
Below I list the good habits one can form for the purpose of language learning:-
Means channels Media
eye read newspaper books magazines
ear hearing radio CD talking books
mouth speak friends teachers strangers
read aloud news poem stories
sing pop songs movie songs
hand write letters diary journal
eye/ear video U tube VCD/DVD TV movies
From age 12 to 21, I would have a piece of cardboard pinned on my bedroom wall. There would be drawn on it a chart for 3 months. Let's say that for the following three months I aspired to read :
1. The editorial page of the Sunday English newspaper
2. One fiction per week
3. One magazine per month
There would be boxes on my chart to tick and document if I do live up to expectation for that duration of three months.
As for hearing, I used to have a little transistor radio that I turned to English station as I did my home work in the afternoons. At night, I would listen to one hour of either BBC or Voice of America short wave broadcast at 11 pm to 12 am in bed. Forty years ago we used cassettes, I could hardly afford to buy anyway. There were no talking books on sale then. But on week end nights, I recall BBC used to put up plays and literature excerpts read by authors. Similarly I would record the hourly listening day by day.
When it came to speaking, it took conscious effort to find friends who would speak to me in English. At first I would open my mouth to talk to Indians girls I met in bus stops. From experience, they are usually English speaking if they are dressed in western clothes. I would join societies and carefully nurture friendships with girls who spoke English as a default language. Another group is teachers who appreciate students who venture into the staff room to ask them questions about class work.
Singing along to pop songs is a very fun way of learning colloquial English. I also used to watch musical and tried to find ways to copy the lyrics from friends. For example, I was singling "My favorite things" long before I understand individual words used by Julie Andrew in that song.
I had pen pals and wrote monthly letters. Starting from all Chinese entries in my Grade 6 diary, it changed gradually to all English entries in Grade 9. For my literature courses in college, I was keeping journal. Lately, I was laughing at the TV programs my children downloaded from the internet. A good example is the international students taught by Mr Brown in Mind Your Language. By borrowing DVD movies, I still make attempts to improve my listening skills. With the advent of 24 hours TV broadcast, watching National Geographic and Discovery Science would be wonderful avenues to improve our vocabulary.
This proverb is always true: where there is the will, we will find a way to achieve our heart's desire.
Monday, April 22, 2013
(239) Human suffering in Greece
One of my brothers work in a Bank. We were discussing about such countries like Greece, Cyprus, Spain, France ... According to him, the problem in Cyprus is unique because it is part of the European Union. While it might not work for Cyprus to opt out of EU, it is not feasible for the single common currency to keep bailing out one country after another.
He read somewhere that one Greek Headmaster said that there were children in the city that went to school with no food in the tummy. Parents could have been unemployed for at least two years, have little marketable skills and could no longer subsist on social security that have been cut drastically. People who were formerly civil servants usually do not upgrade themselves thinking they have an iron rice bowl (unbreakable). I find urban children going hungry shocking. On our TV screen we see that refugees in Africa were fed. In fact I just saw ethnic Muslim Myanmarese walked into refugee camps on one of the International news channels. Sure, during WW2, my mother's family(one widow with five children) survived on sweet potatoes and other roots. But at least they had one meal daily. My father was old enough to run errands for the Japanese soldiers, his family had rice to eat throughout the Japanese occupation.
Pulling my view finder from Greece to my country, we also have a huge civil servant population. Similarly our debt to earning ratio is not exactly healthy. I certainly hope that the coming election would change deep seated problems like that so that we would not face in the future what Greece faces now.
He read somewhere that one Greek Headmaster said that there were children in the city that went to school with no food in the tummy. Parents could have been unemployed for at least two years, have little marketable skills and could no longer subsist on social security that have been cut drastically. People who were formerly civil servants usually do not upgrade themselves thinking they have an iron rice bowl (unbreakable). I find urban children going hungry shocking. On our TV screen we see that refugees in Africa were fed. In fact I just saw ethnic Muslim Myanmarese walked into refugee camps on one of the International news channels. Sure, during WW2, my mother's family(one widow with five children) survived on sweet potatoes and other roots. But at least they had one meal daily. My father was old enough to run errands for the Japanese soldiers, his family had rice to eat throughout the Japanese occupation.
Pulling my view finder from Greece to my country, we also have a huge civil servant population. Similarly our debt to earning ratio is not exactly healthy. I certainly hope that the coming election would change deep seated problems like that so that we would not face in the future what Greece faces now.
(238) Lost eternally
One of Elizabeth (my youngest)'s uni mate was drown a week ago. Details were sketchy: she went to use a private college's pool, somehow she knocked her head and fainted. Once she became a dead weight at the bottom of the pool, whoever present was not strong enough to lift her up.
What really upset Elizabeth was that she actually shared bus seats on a uni trip with the deceased a few months ago. She knew the deceased was a Buddhist but she did not attempt to share the good news at the first meeting. However, Elizabeth did have a long chat with her and perhaps did conversationally mentioned that the former is a practicing Christian. After the sad news of her passing, Elizabeth went into a self-bashing mode, blaming herself for the lost opportunity.
Somehow, I see things much differently. My family was more Taoist than Buddhist. Friends have been sharing the good news with me on countless occasions for like fourteen years before the opportune moment when I saw the light. In fact, I used to hate those folks who bashed my head with their bibles, in a manner of speaking. Perhaps if those Christ Ambassadors were less active, I would have not been forced to sit in the opposition corner for so many years. While I knew those statues my parents worshiped to were not God, I strongly resented the facts that born again Christians called them idols. I honestly believe that God woos each person along the high ways and the by ways. I am not ashamed of my belief and would gladly share when someone wants to hear. But I certainly would not force, push or share with any and everyone I meet.
What really upset Elizabeth was that she actually shared bus seats on a uni trip with the deceased a few months ago. She knew the deceased was a Buddhist but she did not attempt to share the good news at the first meeting. However, Elizabeth did have a long chat with her and perhaps did conversationally mentioned that the former is a practicing Christian. After the sad news of her passing, Elizabeth went into a self-bashing mode, blaming herself for the lost opportunity.
Somehow, I see things much differently. My family was more Taoist than Buddhist. Friends have been sharing the good news with me on countless occasions for like fourteen years before the opportune moment when I saw the light. In fact, I used to hate those folks who bashed my head with their bibles, in a manner of speaking. Perhaps if those Christ Ambassadors were less active, I would have not been forced to sit in the opposition corner for so many years. While I knew those statues my parents worshiped to were not God, I strongly resented the facts that born again Christians called them idols. I honestly believe that God woos each person along the high ways and the by ways. I am not ashamed of my belief and would gladly share when someone wants to hear. But I certainly would not force, push or share with any and everyone I meet.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
(237) The Report Card by Andrew Clements
This is a Scholastic book written by the author of Frindle - a two-million-copy bestseller.
The story tells of a hidden genius call Nora. She was able to appear normal from 2.5 years old to fifth grade. That shows she not only is high in her IQ, she must be full of EQ (emotional quotient) too. Most parents would love to have really smart children, but I suppose it is not easy to bring up a genius in a balanced way.
In the book a very wise teacher asked Nora why she was given such high IQ. It would probably take Nora the rest of her life to find out. I probably would not test as high on the scale as Nora. In those days I doubt any of my teachers have access to any IQ test. But I remember cooking my scores in primary school so that I don't stand out like a sore thumb. From Grade Three to Six I alternated at First and Second place with my Assistant Monitor. When he begged hard enough, I would score just low enough for him to be first in class - after all, he claimed that his father would beat him for coming second. The the next year he would boast and get on my nerve - then I would make sure I outscore him by about thirty marks in the final exam so he would come second again.
Now I can see that I was given a brain that is able to absorb facts and incidences and file them most systematically away. As Kenneth said, I don't just have on-line and off-line storage, I seemed to have the ability to instantly recall things stored away from any part of my life -- whether real life experiences, things I heard or things I read at will. This come in handy in my teaching life, I could tell interesting, one of a kind stories at the drop of a pin to wake up nodding students. Most of these stories are true too, maybe with a few minor facts altered so that the people involved would remain anonymous. There is a purpose in telling real stories, apart from entertainment. Usually I would ask for the moral lesson and more often than not, at least one person would give me the correct or an acceptable answer.
Since I have not continued in teaching for the past seven years, I have noticed that this unique memory serves me really well when people I spend time listening to tell me facts or experiences that they have never shared with anyone before. Keeping in mind that each person is unique, and the fact that I do not have a psychology degree nor am I a qualified counselor, to be able to come up with an upbeat, encouraging response use up every bit of my immense storage files.
The story tells of a hidden genius call Nora. She was able to appear normal from 2.5 years old to fifth grade. That shows she not only is high in her IQ, she must be full of EQ (emotional quotient) too. Most parents would love to have really smart children, but I suppose it is not easy to bring up a genius in a balanced way.
In the book a very wise teacher asked Nora why she was given such high IQ. It would probably take Nora the rest of her life to find out. I probably would not test as high on the scale as Nora. In those days I doubt any of my teachers have access to any IQ test. But I remember cooking my scores in primary school so that I don't stand out like a sore thumb. From Grade Three to Six I alternated at First and Second place with my Assistant Monitor. When he begged hard enough, I would score just low enough for him to be first in class - after all, he claimed that his father would beat him for coming second. The the next year he would boast and get on my nerve - then I would make sure I outscore him by about thirty marks in the final exam so he would come second again.
Now I can see that I was given a brain that is able to absorb facts and incidences and file them most systematically away. As Kenneth said, I don't just have on-line and off-line storage, I seemed to have the ability to instantly recall things stored away from any part of my life -- whether real life experiences, things I heard or things I read at will. This come in handy in my teaching life, I could tell interesting, one of a kind stories at the drop of a pin to wake up nodding students. Most of these stories are true too, maybe with a few minor facts altered so that the people involved would remain anonymous. There is a purpose in telling real stories, apart from entertainment. Usually I would ask for the moral lesson and more often than not, at least one person would give me the correct or an acceptable answer.
Since I have not continued in teaching for the past seven years, I have noticed that this unique memory serves me really well when people I spend time listening to tell me facts or experiences that they have never shared with anyone before. Keeping in mind that each person is unique, and the fact that I do not have a psychology degree nor am I a qualified counselor, to be able to come up with an upbeat, encouraging response use up every bit of my immense storage files.
Friday, April 19, 2013
(236) Broken Children, Grown-up Pain by Paul Hegstrom
For my readers who have followed my blog, you would know that I have the privilege to listen to 4 women in pain for the past 19 years.
I primarily saw them as former sufferers of learning disabilities. Which probably was not too far off the mark! Well! In the above book the author proposes the theory that when children went through trauma before the age of 13, they might have what was called arrested development and then they remained as children in certain areas of their lives until their minds are renewed by God.
The first lady I spent a fair amount of time listening to did not want to change her paradigm, she merely wanted to keep looking for new people to pay her sympathetic attention. The second one came to accept her troubling marriage as something she would rather keep than dissolve, she also increasingly prayed about things and issues that bothered her. About that time I moved away from Silver City.
The third one was Zelda. It was marvelous how God was gracious to her. He was restoring to her the locust eaten years of girlhood. I guess she would have to delve deeper why she has an anger problem that seems somewhat disproportionate to the incident that trigger the emotion.
The fourth one was the one whom God miraculously reconciled with her ex-husband. Well! I suppose they would still have issues and hurts to settle for a while more. But there is nothing God could not accomplish if they only allow Him to.
This is a book that every people worker should read. I think in our imperfect world there are many people who are walking around with crippling hurts that dated back from their childhood days.
I primarily saw them as former sufferers of learning disabilities. Which probably was not too far off the mark! Well! In the above book the author proposes the theory that when children went through trauma before the age of 13, they might have what was called arrested development and then they remained as children in certain areas of their lives until their minds are renewed by God.
The first lady I spent a fair amount of time listening to did not want to change her paradigm, she merely wanted to keep looking for new people to pay her sympathetic attention. The second one came to accept her troubling marriage as something she would rather keep than dissolve, she also increasingly prayed about things and issues that bothered her. About that time I moved away from Silver City.
The third one was Zelda. It was marvelous how God was gracious to her. He was restoring to her the locust eaten years of girlhood. I guess she would have to delve deeper why she has an anger problem that seems somewhat disproportionate to the incident that trigger the emotion.
The fourth one was the one whom God miraculously reconciled with her ex-husband. Well! I suppose they would still have issues and hurts to settle for a while more. But there is nothing God could not accomplish if they only allow Him to.
This is a book that every people worker should read. I think in our imperfect world there are many people who are walking around with crippling hurts that dated back from their childhood days.
(234) Vote for a brighter future
Years ago I used to read about Soviet citizens who would make jokes and laughed about themselves and their country while waiting in line for essential goods.
Just now among a group of friends we were having a good laugh at our beautiful land which produced a bunch of folks who would purchase marine vehicles which could not submerge, would lose airplane engines from military camps, and would fly military men on civilian flights. It is really not our proudest moment!
Thank God we can still turn up and vote come the big day!
Just now among a group of friends we were having a good laugh at our beautiful land which produced a bunch of folks who would purchase marine vehicles which could not submerge, would lose airplane engines from military camps, and would fly military men on civilian flights. It is really not our proudest moment!
Thank God we can still turn up and vote come the big day!
(233) A Murder is announced by Agatha Christie
On page 10 of A Murder is Announced, we read "And die on the same day and be buried in the same grave. That would be lovely." Bunch, a happy vicar's wife said this to her husband.
In real life, a fair number of people seem to take their lives for granted. My mother's neighbor, Mrs Kok, used to say that she planned to live in her present house with her husband in old age, as she expected her children to move out one by one. My mother, the realist, chose to point out to her that one day one of the pair would most likely die before the other. Then the prospect of living alone in a big house presented itself to Mrs Kok. She did not relish the idea of being all alone since women usually outlive men if they are about the same age. Since then, she no longer said that she would urge each child to move out.
My cousin lives in a small single story house. A few houses away, an old man lived alone. He seldom talked to anyone and there were few visitors. Since he did sometimes leave his house to be away for a week or two, no one was alarmed that he was not seen for a few days. The complacency lasted four days, when foul smell that came from his house caused neighbors to call him and then later the police. He was found dead seated in front of a TV that was tuned on world news.
In real life, a fair number of people seem to take their lives for granted. My mother's neighbor, Mrs Kok, used to say that she planned to live in her present house with her husband in old age, as she expected her children to move out one by one. My mother, the realist, chose to point out to her that one day one of the pair would most likely die before the other. Then the prospect of living alone in a big house presented itself to Mrs Kok. She did not relish the idea of being all alone since women usually outlive men if they are about the same age. Since then, she no longer said that she would urge each child to move out.
My cousin lives in a small single story house. A few houses away, an old man lived alone. He seldom talked to anyone and there were few visitors. Since he did sometimes leave his house to be away for a week or two, no one was alarmed that he was not seen for a few days. The complacency lasted four days, when foul smell that came from his house caused neighbors to call him and then later the police. He was found dead seated in front of a TV that was tuned on world news.
(232) Things in storage
Moments ago a missionary couple came to collect some visual aid left by another colleague. They are going to stand in for the missionary on leave, running a course in empowering a village community to make their own decisions on literacy work.
The missionary on leave went back to take care of her father with Alzeimer's. I really sympathize with that as I see how my cousin struggles with the care of her mum. This couple who just left said that they are going on furlough in June. The convention is four years in the field, one year home on furlough. If they decide to come back, it would make a lot of sense to find a few tenants to live in their present rented house for the year that they will be away. Otherwise it would mean that they have to find an alternate site to place their household goods in storage for one year.
Next to pastor's kids, missionary kids are the one group of people that grew up with periodic upheavals throughout their childhood. Yet I have met a Swiss couple from Bern and Zurich respectively, and their daughter who married an American. All four of them are missionaries, the senior couple have been in South East Asia for most of their lives. The junior couple so far have served in different parts of Asia.
The missionary on leave went back to take care of her father with Alzeimer's. I really sympathize with that as I see how my cousin struggles with the care of her mum. This couple who just left said that they are going on furlough in June. The convention is four years in the field, one year home on furlough. If they decide to come back, it would make a lot of sense to find a few tenants to live in their present rented house for the year that they will be away. Otherwise it would mean that they have to find an alternate site to place their household goods in storage for one year.
Next to pastor's kids, missionary kids are the one group of people that grew up with periodic upheavals throughout their childhood. Yet I have met a Swiss couple from Bern and Zurich respectively, and their daughter who married an American. All four of them are missionaries, the senior couple have been in South East Asia for most of their lives. The junior couple so far have served in different parts of Asia.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
(231-) Remarry?
I have a friend who reconciled with her estranged husband. They were divorced a few years ago.
The next question is : should they remarry?
Hold your horses there! Let us be calm and reason out the pertinent facts. First of all, the legal part of the marriage costs next to nothing. My brother paid 20 Hong Kong dollars to be registered with his beautiful wife. My husband probably paid a few dollars more for our marriage cert. My poor friend actually paid S$15,000 for the dissolution of her marriage, since it was registered in Singapore. Please note: it is more than easy to be wed but it costs a horrendous amount to be divorced!
My personal opinion is there is no real need for them to sign on the dotted lines again! After all, for all the time apart they have neither had any ties with any opposite sex. They are not Muslim, no one would check for their married papers in hotels. The only people who may be bothered about their status would be their children. As long as juniors do not take their fickle parents as role models, I suppose the latter are not doing anyone any harm living as man and wife.
The next question is : should they remarry?
Hold your horses there! Let us be calm and reason out the pertinent facts. First of all, the legal part of the marriage costs next to nothing. My brother paid 20 Hong Kong dollars to be registered with his beautiful wife. My husband probably paid a few dollars more for our marriage cert. My poor friend actually paid S$15,000 for the dissolution of her marriage, since it was registered in Singapore. Please note: it is more than easy to be wed but it costs a horrendous amount to be divorced!
My personal opinion is there is no real need for them to sign on the dotted lines again! After all, for all the time apart they have neither had any ties with any opposite sex. They are not Muslim, no one would check for their married papers in hotels. The only people who may be bothered about their status would be their children. As long as juniors do not take their fickle parents as role models, I suppose the latter are not doing anyone any harm living as man and wife.
(230) Deputy Minister with a bogus degree
We are having election soon. It has been a long time coming.
My husband was just reading some political web sites online just now. Apparently, we have a deputy minister with a bogus Master's degree from the USA. Co-incidentally, a previous IT CEO in China also possessed a supposed degree from the same university. I guess it is easy to buy a piece of paper saying that such a person graduated from such a university in such a field. But honestly, it does not take too much time and effort to verify if such a university exists or if indeed this person is listed as an alumna.
Come election day, I will rise early and wait in line at my polling station. I will probably attend Saturday afternoon service. As a believing voter, I will trust that our sovereign God will oversee that worthy men are chosen as his Government in this nation.
My husband was just reading some political web sites online just now. Apparently, we have a deputy minister with a bogus Master's degree from the USA. Co-incidentally, a previous IT CEO in China also possessed a supposed degree from the same university. I guess it is easy to buy a piece of paper saying that such a person graduated from such a university in such a field. But honestly, it does not take too much time and effort to verify if such a university exists or if indeed this person is listed as an alumna.
Come election day, I will rise early and wait in line at my polling station. I will probably attend Saturday afternoon service. As a believing voter, I will trust that our sovereign God will oversee that worthy men are chosen as his Government in this nation.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
(228) The Moving Finger by Agatha Christie
In her story, a woman received a poison pen letter accusing her of having a son with someone other than her husband. She was found dead after a daily nap, with a note saying "I cannot go on ..." That was a fictional account, I am sure.
However, in real life I have come across one parallel case. A friend of mine is married to man with five brothers. One of those brothers has a young son with some congenital defect that could be fatal if not treated. In order to find a suitable bone marrow donor, all the uncles as well as the nucleus family members went for blood tests and tissue typing.
All five brothers were gathered in the home of the affected boy. They proceeded to compare test results. All six men were trained in science. One glance at the blood types, their faces paled. My friend, who is married to one, could not comprehend anything even when she looked at the myriad result; since she was in the arts stream as early as lower secondary school. Being alert and curious, she quietly memorized each individual result and consulted me when she came home.
Being conservative Chinese, the entire incident was swept under the carpet and not mentioned again. It is clear that at least three of the six brothers were conceived from man or men other than the legal father. By now, the long suffering father had died. The mother who has led such a colorful life is rather old and is becoming senile. Little wonder that the old woman would complain that throughout her married life, her husband had beaten her time and again. In the old days, wife beating was somewhat tolerated and not many couples would divorce even if there was spousal abuse. It is interesting that deep secrets such as these could not be submerged for long. I guess this saying explains it somewhat: old sins cast long shadows.
However, in real life I have come across one parallel case. A friend of mine is married to man with five brothers. One of those brothers has a young son with some congenital defect that could be fatal if not treated. In order to find a suitable bone marrow donor, all the uncles as well as the nucleus family members went for blood tests and tissue typing.
All five brothers were gathered in the home of the affected boy. They proceeded to compare test results. All six men were trained in science. One glance at the blood types, their faces paled. My friend, who is married to one, could not comprehend anything even when she looked at the myriad result; since she was in the arts stream as early as lower secondary school. Being alert and curious, she quietly memorized each individual result and consulted me when she came home.
Being conservative Chinese, the entire incident was swept under the carpet and not mentioned again. It is clear that at least three of the six brothers were conceived from man or men other than the legal father. By now, the long suffering father had died. The mother who has led such a colorful life is rather old and is becoming senile. Little wonder that the old woman would complain that throughout her married life, her husband had beaten her time and again. In the old days, wife beating was somewhat tolerated and not many couples would divorce even if there was spousal abuse. It is interesting that deep secrets such as these could not be submerged for long. I guess this saying explains it somewhat: old sins cast long shadows.
(225) They Came to Baghdad by Agatha Christie
This is one of Christie's big picture of the entire world being threatened by a bunch of bad guys story. What I truly enjoyed reading about is Victoria, the impressionable young girl who could "follow" a handsome guy to the other side of the world. After all, there is nothing much in common between London and Baghdad.
Yet, through a series of danger and muddling, she met someone she would probably marry later on should the story has a sequel. What I admire most about her is the fact that she was able to make the best of everything that happened to her. Most importantly, she could learn from her own perceived mistakes. If it was foolhardy to fall in love with a good looking guy who was arrogant and evil, she next chose a slightly older chap who was solid and dependable.
I have a childhood friend who married twice. The first husband was a widower with three boys. Whatever reason she has for choosing him, it was not because he had a lot of time to spend with her. After all, he was a busy specialist doctor. None of her friends know much about why she left him: if it was difficult to be a step mother to three boys? He was nasty to her? She felt badly neglected? A couple of years later, she remarried. This time round it was to a younger guy from another country. He loves her enough to relocate to be with her initially. Even though they remained married for a much longer period, she failed to bear any children. Lately, I heard that he spent more time in his own country than with her. Knowing that he is an only child, I won't be surprised that he started another family in his home country to ensure that he has descendants (traditional Chinese view having heirs as extremely important).
Should there be a third marriage (since my friend is still a most attractive lady although she is in her early forties now), I certainly hope that she will have learnt from her first and second marriages. Let the third man love her, be good to her and will stick to her through thick and thin.
Yet, through a series of danger and muddling, she met someone she would probably marry later on should the story has a sequel. What I admire most about her is the fact that she was able to make the best of everything that happened to her. Most importantly, she could learn from her own perceived mistakes. If it was foolhardy to fall in love with a good looking guy who was arrogant and evil, she next chose a slightly older chap who was solid and dependable.
I have a childhood friend who married twice. The first husband was a widower with three boys. Whatever reason she has for choosing him, it was not because he had a lot of time to spend with her. After all, he was a busy specialist doctor. None of her friends know much about why she left him: if it was difficult to be a step mother to three boys? He was nasty to her? She felt badly neglected? A couple of years later, she remarried. This time round it was to a younger guy from another country. He loves her enough to relocate to be with her initially. Even though they remained married for a much longer period, she failed to bear any children. Lately, I heard that he spent more time in his own country than with her. Knowing that he is an only child, I won't be surprised that he started another family in his home country to ensure that he has descendants (traditional Chinese view having heirs as extremely important).
Should there be a third marriage (since my friend is still a most attractive lady although she is in her early forties now), I certainly hope that she will have learnt from her first and second marriages. Let the third man love her, be good to her and will stick to her through thick and thin.
(224) Age of great mobility
I came back from an inter-denominational prayer gathering. Around the table sat seven individuals. Winnie just came back from a few weeks in Indonesia. She founded a scattering of pre-school classes in the highlands and still raises fund for the literacy project.
Evon visited her social worker friends in China. Mr and Mrs Sebastian just came back from Miri. My husband is going on a trip in two weeks to Chiangmai to look up friends. That left Emily and I who did not go anywhere the last month and we have no trip planned for the next month.
We belong to an age of high mobility. Air tickets are relatively cheap thanks to budget airlines. We talked about the avian flu in China. Yet none of us fear enough to curtail our jetting about. None of us are in business nor do we work for corporations. Most of us are semi-retired or self-employed. No wonder any virulent bug gets passed from passenger to passenger and within days it could spread all over many countries.
Evon visited her social worker friends in China. Mr and Mrs Sebastian just came back from Miri. My husband is going on a trip in two weeks to Chiangmai to look up friends. That left Emily and I who did not go anywhere the last month and we have no trip planned for the next month.
We belong to an age of high mobility. Air tickets are relatively cheap thanks to budget airlines. We talked about the avian flu in China. Yet none of us fear enough to curtail our jetting about. None of us are in business nor do we work for corporations. Most of us are semi-retired or self-employed. No wonder any virulent bug gets passed from passenger to passenger and within days it could spread all over many countries.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
(220) The Boston explosions
My husband has a good friend living in Boston. As far as I know, he run in quite a few of the Boston Marathons previously. When I heard about one of the three dead was an eight year old boy, my heart did not rest until his name was announced and a photo was flashed. My husband's friend has an only son around that age. It was not that boy as I feared.
The CNN special report on the Boston incident was clear and informative. It is tragic that such a healthy event on a cool spring day was turned into a blood bath. Apart from the three dead, about 25 were seriously injured out of more than 140.
Think about it, nobody would or could imagine such a horrific thing happening. After all, for family members and friends of the participants, it would be natural to gather near the finishing line. Whoever who placed the bombs must hate America enough to want to inflict such terrible wounds (amputations of legs) on folks who merely show love and support to their loved ones! After all, the wounded ranged from age 2 to 71. These are ordinary citizens, they are not VIPs nor are they policy makers. Of all cowardly acts, this is surely one of the lowest of the low!
The CNN special report on the Boston incident was clear and informative. It is tragic that such a healthy event on a cool spring day was turned into a blood bath. Apart from the three dead, about 25 were seriously injured out of more than 140.
Think about it, nobody would or could imagine such a horrific thing happening. After all, for family members and friends of the participants, it would be natural to gather near the finishing line. Whoever who placed the bombs must hate America enough to want to inflict such terrible wounds (amputations of legs) on folks who merely show love and support to their loved ones! After all, the wounded ranged from age 2 to 71. These are ordinary citizens, they are not VIPs nor are they policy makers. Of all cowardly acts, this is surely one of the lowest of the low!
Monday, April 15, 2013
(219) The safest place for my money
Ever since I heard about Cyprus' financial crisis, I have been watching international news whenever I have the chance.
This seems to be the first case of having depositors being penalized for saving when the nation require bailing out. Even though Cyprus is a small nation, depositors of other nations would be affected. I wonder if those who are affected are from Cyprus or are they mainly from Russia as reported? Today I heard from a middle eastern TV news that badly affected depositors are given Cyprus citizenship.
When I mentioned the last bit to my husband, he doubted any foreign depositors would want to live in Cyprus with the current financial climate. Now I see why Asians prefer to convert liquid wealth of a certain strata to real estate. A piece of land or a building could not be taken away by any financial institution as easily. Real estate in prime sites would appreciate over a period of years too.
I have long ago given up my career to bring up my children. Since my husband had a business failure, I have learnt to live a simple life. Whatever little surplus I have, I give away to God's work. In that sense, I don't have to worry about any authority taking away my wealth in any local or foreign bank. God is no man's debtor, the bread I have cast over the water did come back in ways I earlier could not imagine.
This seems to be the first case of having depositors being penalized for saving when the nation require bailing out. Even though Cyprus is a small nation, depositors of other nations would be affected. I wonder if those who are affected are from Cyprus or are they mainly from Russia as reported? Today I heard from a middle eastern TV news that badly affected depositors are given Cyprus citizenship.
When I mentioned the last bit to my husband, he doubted any foreign depositors would want to live in Cyprus with the current financial climate. Now I see why Asians prefer to convert liquid wealth of a certain strata to real estate. A piece of land or a building could not be taken away by any financial institution as easily. Real estate in prime sites would appreciate over a period of years too.
I have long ago given up my career to bring up my children. Since my husband had a business failure, I have learnt to live a simple life. Whatever little surplus I have, I give away to God's work. In that sense, I don't have to worry about any authority taking away my wealth in any local or foreign bank. God is no man's debtor, the bread I have cast over the water did come back in ways I earlier could not imagine.
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