(660) Taming Natasha by Nora Roberts

Roberts is inventive. In this book we find a college music professor falling for a toy store owner who was a former ballerina. The professor lost his first wife through death. He moved from New York city to a small town  for the sake of his little girl.

I find that Natasha was punishing herself for one mistake she made many years ago. Like the usual love story, many weeks passed. Many things happened. He managed to change her mind. This is the fifth book of Roberts I read. It is a good thing I did not buy the book.  It is not as interesting as the other four. I did not learn much.

Wonder if any body bought up the film rights. If there is a film, I wonder if the screen play is more interesting?

(659) Match makers

Jane and Anne were girl hood friends. They kept in touch after they were married. Jane had four sons and then had Jenny. Anne had three sons and Amy. Jenny and Amy practically grew up next door to each other. Years later both families moved and then they lived on opposite sides of town. During one vacation the Moms had a get together. Amy was playing in Jenny's room when Jenny's eldest brother walked in. Kenneth looked at the two young girls in the usual patronizing manner and asked Jenny if she had seen his thick book. Jenny said she did not see it anywhere since the day before. Kenneth grunted and walked away.


Jenny giggled and related how she was curious about her brother's book and flipped through it and the picture of a pretty girl dropped out. Apparently that was the picture of his girl friend. The two girls were at the romantic stage and both would seriously be interested in getting their brothers hitched if only to increase the female headcounts in their respective families. In a jiffy Amy had dug out any and every bit of information Jenny had painstakingly gathered.  After a hurried consultation, both decided to form a pact to further the romance as much as possible within their combine capability and influence.


After lunch, the younger boys went to the field for a football scramble as the day was somewhat cloudy therefore permitting outdoor activity. Amy grabbed the opportunity to talk to Kenneth. Jenny was detained in the kitchen washing up the dishes. Kenneth was in the midst of answering a letter. Amy started the conversation with asking if Kenneth could find her a pen friend from overseas. You see, Kenneth was studying abroad and had gotten to know this girl of a different ethnic origin as a pen friend. In the course of this conversation, Amy adroitly drew the story out of Kenneth. He honestly thought it was a hopeless romance because he guessed his parents would never approve.


Amy deftly taught him a few principles of bringing the situation to his doorstep. She planted the idea of inviting the girl to Kenneth's home for a visit. After all, the host and hostess are bound by custom to be hospitable to a guest under their roof. Kenneth protested that his parents would never issue such an invitation. Oh! No! Amy said that he was to invite, fix the date and to inform his parents when the impending trip was not just planned but was a fact. Kenneth looked incredulous. At that moment Jenny came out of the kitchen. While Kenneth was sent out to call back the footballers, Amy hurriedly brought Jenny up to date with the project and secured her promise of actively helping her brother. Amy's family then left hurriedly to avoid an imminent thunder storm.


Three weeks later, Amy's Mum had a long phone call. It was about room assignment, curtains, bed sheets, towels etc... After a lengthy discussion, Jenny's mum decided to imitate the western culture and supply hand towel, face towel and bath towel. While the mums went shopping for the important guest, the children sat down and planned an itinerary for the guest from far away. Jenny's brothers had fun guessing which restaurant their father would take them to for the welcoming and sending off party.


The visit was a huge success. The visitor was a hit from the moment go, even the great grandma liked her because of her sweet smiles. And so Kenneth flew off with his girl friend for his last semester.  Shortly after, a phone call came across the seas announcing that the girl was pregnant with Kenneth's baby. A hurried family conference was convened, the unanimous decision was for the young couple to get married legally as soon as possible. The girl's family decided on a church wedding. The boy's family planned a double celebration after Kenneth's graduation: deferred wedding and a welcome home baby dinner. Thus begun a happy cross cultural marriage.

* diy-wedding-flowers-01.jpg from weddingand flowers.info

(658) The Fall of Shane MacKade by Nora Roberts

By the time I hit this book, the fourth in the series, I was quite tired of the love scenes. But Roberts was really very inventive: she connected all the paranormal events in the previous three books and brought in a scientist to measure and record them. I could relate to Rebecca, though I was not so brilliant; I did spent many years working hard to win scholarships.

Reading this book brought back child hood memories. I remember going to a neighborhood temple and witnessing a young man who fell into a trance, danced and jumped like a monkey. I did not like that and I backed many steps out of the temple. The boys, on the other hand, crowded nearer to see the spectacle. After the trance ended, we kids left to go home. One of the boys started acting funny, he kept disturbing the others. Those who were irritated retaliated. It was strange, he seemed stronger than even the older boys. We became scared and most of us run home.

Looking back, that boy was probably sensitive to spiritual forces. He went too near to the possessed man and he was affected. He was not himself. After he continued acting like a monkey for many days, his parents had to take him to the temple with offerings to rid him of the monkey spirit. My grand ma was right, it was not smart to go too near to people who meddle with spirits. Sounds like the inverse square law that governs light waves, I walked away ten feet, therefore I felt one hundredth of the influence.

(657) The Heart of Devin MacKade by Nora Roberts

This book zeros in on Cassandra, a woman who quietly suffered abuse from her violent husband for many years before opting out. Because I have spent years listening in between the lines to an abused (both physical and emotional) wife who happened to be a professional, it is nothing new to me.

Anyway, my friend decided that since her beauty was fading, she was growing in years, she would do better to tolerate her husband than facing a divorce. She struggled out of the pit of depression and live on, making the best of the circumstances. Just as I thought I have dealt with the a to z of marital abuse. My next friend was one who packed her bags and left her husband and four children. She believed she was running either from being killed or imprisoned, I saw the terror on her face when she whispered her fears. I suppose it is worse being killed inch by inch than facing a one stroke murder. Even running away penniless is better than giving in and dying to one's hopes and dreams. To be honest, what I heard from the second woman is worse than what I read in the Devin book. Sad to say, all that pain and struggles were etched firmly on my second friend's face, she could not find a new husband as easily as Cassandra.

Nevertheless, it is a well written story. The way Roberts portrayed Cassandra's feelings are entirely believable. If you are a timid person with a domineering mother, you would understand perfectly how Cassandra fell from the frying pan into the fire by marrying her abusive husband.

(655) Mum and daughter

Have you noticed how a mother's obesity is linked to her daughter's being underweight?

We look at my son's friend and his family. Nicholas is a happy-go-lucky boy. His father changed jobs often. It is not that the man is lazy. Yet somehow he could not keep a job for long. As a result of that, the financial burden is on Nicholas' mum. The cares of life contributes to her seeking solace in food. Way before she reached forty, she became obese.

Nicholas' sister, on the other hand, is serious and has a tendency to be a perfectionist. She has little appetite and eats sparingly. As she grows taller, her weight increases little. Her BMI went below 24. During her exam year, she became gaunt and haggard. The counseling teacher in her school actually sent her to a government hospital to screen and make sure it is not anorexia nervosa.

* flower8-big from bellevivirblogspot.com

(653) The Pride of Jared MacKade by Nora Roberts

If you have read what I wrote about The return of Rafe MacKade, you will know that I have admiration for the way Roberts wrote her books.

Just like I plow through Agatha Christie books looking for what she wrote about human psychology or foibles, I am starting to systematically go through every Roberts book I can access for her portrayal of her fallible characters.

I like The pride of Jared M even better than the previous book. She has matched bookish and proud lawyer with a reckless but responsible unwed mum, Savannah. Being safe and sheltered by nature and upbringing, it is refreshing to read about a character I have not even met in my circles till now. All the girls who were pregnant before marriage tend to be quickly married off in my community. I can't think of a single one among my relatives, friends, school mates or even people I hear about keeping the baby and be a single teenage mum in this country.

Just in case you get the idea that in this city we kill single unwed mothers or something equally drastic, that is not true. I do have a neighbor who chose to keep her love child and booted the father out when he told her to abort. But then she was a financially independent woman of twenty six years. The daughter (now an adult) turned out to be a blessing to the mother, who is still single now.

(652) Village girl

How should I describe her? She is kind and she is caring. When the world is falling apart, she probably would still have the presence of mind to notice that another person needs help from her.


She came from a place that is poles apart from my hometown. I am a city girl and she came from a village. At the tender age of six, she journeyed along three rivers to go to the city to get an education. As her parents waved good bye, she waved and then she shut her heart there among the jungle trees. She opened her mind to all that she could learn in the city, whether it was in the school or in her relative's house. She was so innocent that she did not perceive any slight or rejection from the other children. She was able to divide mentally her year into two parts: school year in the city and holidays in the village. She absorbed knowledge like a sponge because her dad told her that it was important to learn all that she could.

* children.jpg from soundof life.net

When I met her, she was a retired Senior Assistant who labored in a mission organisation. No wonder I never thought about her origin and race. She is God's child first. Though she is proud to be a native in her land, she is my equal in my home city. She did not lord it over me, an immigrant's grand child. Neither did she need to fight with me because of perceived inferiority.

(651) Haunted house

Many years ago three girls went away for a week end. We booked a rest house near the sea. There were three rooms but after dinner we decided to crowd into the biggest room.

It was a run-down house. Trees around the detached structure weren't pruned and as a result the sitting room was dim. Like houses built in the sixties, there were air holes above every wall. Wind would blow across the big spacious rooms.

We had fun cooking whatever provisions we brought. We talked late into the night. At that point we were fresh out of high school. Our future stretches ahead of us. It was good to get out of the grimy city for a short trip.

It was not until we were on the bus heading back to the city that Cynthia told us that she thought the house was haunted. I said when I used the toilet at night I felt goose pimples on the back of my neck. Denise said she woke up at three am and had to use the toilet. On the way out she saw a palm print on the wall next to the door. The next morning, she made a point of checking, there was nothing there. Whatever it was, we had no intention of returning to that place.

* WierdFood.jpg from papaspantry.org

(650) Chinese Reunion meal on New Year's eve

For reunion dinners on the last day of the Chinese New Year, certain dishes were served.

Fish is a must have, "yu" means abundance.

Prawns are chosen because "ha" in Cantonese sounds like laughter.

Oysters are valued as "hosi" in Cantonese means good news.

Those vegetarian black threads that look like fake hair is called "fatt choy" which means becoming prosperous.Sometimes deep fried tofu is served as "kum yook moon tong". That is supposed to mean gold and jade filling the hall.

For some families, it is a joy to have every member  the table. For others it is stressful to see everyone together. Tradition dictates that some need to slave over the kitchen for hours to prepare a feast that takes less than an hour to eat. If  there is no one willing to put in that amount of work, then someone would have to shell out a fair amount of hard cash to pay for a restaurant meal.

Chinese new year will come early in 2012. Any Chinese restaurant willing to stay open will make a killing in profit. I heard that booking was full in November in certain popular eateries for the dinner on the eve.

* Ingredients Health Food.jpg from tupian8.info

(649) External clutter -sign of internal problem?

Have you been to a house where the owner clutters every room with piles of newspaper, boxes of unused things and generally only left a narrow passage clear from room to room.

I have, let me tell you:

1. A double-storey link house that belonged to a male judge with four school going children.

2. A single-storey detached house of a retired civil servant and his wife.

3. A three-room apartment of a construction supervisor with his family.

Interestingly, the family in 1. actually migrated to Canada and continue their merry way accumulating goodness knows what! From what visitors said, they are re-creating their old abode, only this time it is a bigger detached house.

The civil servant in 2. passed on, full of years. His wife is an invalid. The care giver is clearing the house from top to bottom. It is somewhat tidy now.

I have walked into house number 3 twice, once before the hospitalization of the husband. The second time I saw quite a big difference, there is at least space to walk on. So I know it is the husband who stubbornly hold onto things, not the wife and children. The man in the house suffers from depression sporadically. Unlivable clutter is merely a manifestation of his over loaded mind.

* animal-collective.jpg from beyondrace.com

(648) Love at first sight?

It is interesting to find men who could choose their would be spouses at the first meeting.

Many years ago, a few foreign students were giggling in a posh restaurant, trying to order the cheapest lunch. Rene whispered to Lina that the chief waiter was making sheep's eye at the latter. Sure enough, as they were almost finished, the owner's wife came and introduced herself. First she enquired if they were happy with the meal. Then she passed a slip of paper with a name and phone number. She explained that her right hand man was a good person, he had saved up enough to open his own restaurant but was very shy. Therefore she pleaded with Lina to go out with him to hear his offer.

It  was a sizzling summer day. Every one present believed that the lady was whom she said she was. For one, she sits behind the counter collecting payment. Another point is she wears jewelry that looked too authentic and old fashion to be fakes. She could not be a hired hand. At the tube station, Lina was persuaded to call this guy and give him one chance. A few minds worked together  to teach Lina how to keep her name, address, phone number and college name secret.

Two days after that lunch Lina was picked up from a train station in town. He came in an elegant two seater sports model. Over an expensive lunch, the thirty-four-year-old waiter outlined his offer. He wanted a lady to grace his future flagship restaurant. He was willing to wait for Lina to graduate with her first degree. Even if Lina wanted to go on to a Masters he was willing. He hoped that Lina will marry him and work in his restaurant after her academic pursuit. He believed Lina would make a good wife. And if God blesses, he would plan on having four children. Since he stopped schooling at a young age, Lina would be the one overseeing their education.

After the meal and bizarre but probably genuine offer, Lina was dropped off at another station. She promised to call him if she decided to accept his offer. For about two months after the proposal, Lina wondered if he could track her down. After a few months, Lina breathed a sigh of relief. After all, he did know that she came from a college in the south. By making phone calls to a few colleges and ordering the Freshman registers, it would be possible to find her photograph. He probably was too straight and honest to think of means like that. Looking back, if he had played it cool and just courted her patiently with flowers and candle light dinner, a lonely foreign student would probably had fallen for his charms. Today Lina is happily married with two grown children. This shy but straight forward ex-waiter was proved right in his estimation.

* world-food-day.jpg from thewickednoodle.com

(647) The return of Rafe MacKade by Nora Roberts

I have watched a movie or two of her stories on television. Now that I am in the midst of reading my first Roberts books, I see why so many of her books were made into movies.

Like many best sellers authors, she writes well. She is able to weave tangible images of her characters. I can close my eyes, imagine what Rafe, Regan, Devlin and Jared looked like and how they ticked. More than that, she managed to insert in American history, bits and pieces of antique furniture and period decoration into the stormy romance. She pulled in para normal events, spousal abuse and uncontrolled rage either coupled with alcohol abuse or frustrations experienced in some men's youth which remain the main driving force in the latter parts of their lives.

Reading her description of Maryland is like a revisiting of the state. I spent a wonderful Christmas one year in the belt-way region. I like the area enough to seek for internship the following year. I even received my first proposal of marriage from a much older man there. Memories, sweet and alluring, but not enough for me to want to physically go back. Somehow it is just right to read a book well set in the environs.

(646) Dating game - who pays what?

I was listening to my friend telling me how she was bringing her views across to her niece. And I thought, gee, that was  a new idea to me too.

This friend of mine claimed that she was one of the worst scholars in her time. She has failed her professional exam so many times that she was too embarrassed to count. Yet interestingly she did not have to practice  in the dating game, she married her very first date: a Colombo Plan Scholar who later worked as a senior government servant.

She was telling her niece not to be too grasping or calculative. It is true that within the Chinese culture, guys are expected to pick up the tabs. When she met her beloved, they were in UK. She actually counted their dates in the sense that she let him pay twice or three times, then she would pay once quietly. She well remembered his comment that all his previous dates not only expected him to pay for everything, they schemed to get him to take them to the more expensive places. Needless to say, he dropped them promptly.

An eligible young man, Lucas, told me that nowadays young people tend to go dutch. Once they come out to work, the one that does the "chasing" tends to pay more often. Or it could be settled by mutual understanding. Anything works, as long as both parties are amenable to the arrangement.

Being traditionally Chinese, I personally believe that if a man would not even foot the bills during courtship, how would I have faith that he would provide for the wife and children after marriage?

(645) Cross-cultural marriage - hosting?

We are made up of many nations, multiple cultures and myriad races. When a  French man marries an African lady, or when an  American marries a Chinese, which culture do we apply? I have been pondering on these things lately.

Looking back, when my childhood friend's German girlfriend came a visiting, the boy's parent housed and fed her like a princess. She did promptly married him and produced an heir the next year. So all parties were happy. But the rules may change if it is an American man coming to visit his ethnic Chinese sweetheart. By Chinese standard, one would expect the man asking for the hand of a lady to pay his own way. Yet, the sweetheart's Swiss friend was cautioning her to put him up in an economic hotel just in case he would expect her to settle the bill.

When we got to this part, I asked the sweetheart what would happen when she goes over to meet the guy's folks. She is planning to pay her own way. I am rather concerned that it would start a precedent, it programs the guy to be on the take whether it is in his or her country. But  of course it is her own choices, she could marry a guy and work like a shrew to take care of him. There is no law in any country against a loving wife financially supporting her husband shaking legs at home. My old friend, who migrated to Australia, faces precisely that. Her husband did not adjust well and was mostly unemployed for their four years there.

Of course it is very easy for me to observe and comment on such a complicated set of unwritten rules. I married a fellow Chinese man from my own home town.

(644) Losing concern -commercial!

A few years ago, I picked up a direct marketing product based on my old friend's recommendation. Since my friend and Elizabeth both possess weak ankles and type A personality, they both need the product. Inevitably, both of them had twisted one ankle a little more seriously than the other in the distant past. All it took was a small slip and they experience pain in whichever throbbing and swollen ankle.

Elizabeth enjoyed the fast healing the sea cucumber based liquid brought for about two years. Then the product was withdrawn abruptly. The replacement product was made from the membrane found in eggs. While it tasted good, it does Elizabeth no harm nor good. In the end I have to make a point of using it up as a fun beverage. We did not buy another product from this company again.

Recently, I heard that a nineteen year old young lady was appointed the Marketing Head of this small company. I seriously wonder how the founder expect a person of such tender age and limited experience to turn the company around! Apparently this company has been making steady losses for many years in a row. It is good thing that the sister manufacturing branches in other continents are making much profit to cover these local losses.

Well, some companies are built to make profit. Others, well, may be the manifestation of gratitude a person of great means bestow on his beloved homeland. It is a praise worthy venture!

(643) Pride

A large amount of books have been written to explore the many-fold complex relationships between sisters. I am intrigue to note my life group member's love hate ties with her sister.

Apparently the younger sister, Amber, was at one time earning much too much money for a young woman to fritter away.  Apart from a big house, a decent car, overseas trips, she chose to spend on her many siblings. The one person whom Amber chose to blow twenty thousand on a rescue in 1983 is now doing financially better than the rescuer. As the world goes round, sometimes the playing field is leveled. Amber is now living in a spare room in Jacky's house.

I am a simple soul, I merely note how kind and loving Jacky is toward Amber. I have been puzzled with the constant irritation Amber felt because of Jacky. It took another acquintance to point out to me: if Amber has been looking down at her own flesh and blood, it must be galling that she has to accept hospitality or charity from her object of scorn. I suppose pride is not a good companion to have around when a person is down.

(641) Director and producer

A few nights ago Elizabeth excitedly told me that there is a course next year that would allow the entire class to put up a play in the theater. As she related how her lecturer said that every single one of the directors through the years broke down and cried at some point of the production, I told her that she would make a good producer (not a director).

That day I saw a little girl moved small chairs, figurines, a bell, a few other things from one end of the room to another; she pulled her mother this way and that as well as she repeatedly tilted her mum's head while she was obviously putting on a running commentary. Now that is rather young for role playing or directing a play. But then again, I see the same type of imagination in this little girl and my almost grown daughter.

When I was young, I was the type to play cooking and house keeping. My play mates and I cut up leaves and made mud omelets. I may enjoy fictions tremendously but has only the experience of holding up a tree back stage. It is not my lot in life to direct and produce any play.

(640) A child's potential

During our gathering a little girl was holding a pair of scissors with her left hand. Someone in the group asked if she is left handed. It seems that she can use either hands. Straight away my big mouth opened and I declared that she is ambidextrous. That means she can do things with either hand equally well, which leads me to infer that her left and right brain hemispheres are co-dominant.

From my personal experience, only a very small percentage of the general population possess co-dominant brain hemispheres. A good example would be Leonardo da Vinci, who was famous for Art and yet he too was a visionary in science. My brother writes well, is good in literature but is also a scientist. Among all my classmates from Grade 1 to 12 onto pre-university, there are a girl in Grade 3 and a boy in pre-u who are ambidextrous. All other co-dominant hemisphere folks I know I met in university. That girl from Grade 3 grew up to be a director in an advertising outfit in her late twenties. The boy from pre-u is a consultant urologist today.

I suppose I frightened the poor mother. She did not ask for an exceptional child. But she knows that her child is God given, as she was not supposed to be able to carry a child due to some physical problem. When God gives, he is generous and he gives us the best.

(639) Why does a person become depressed?

From the one day seminar I attended, I gathered that depression starts with faulty thoughts. (From Christian counseling view point) But looking from a purely psychological point of view, a person gets depressed because of brain chemical imbalance. We have no doubt that prolong depression(d) always presents itself with brain chemical imbalance(b). As to if it is d that leads to b, or it is b that leads to d; it is a moot point.

Let us examine one particular case:
One young man went abroad to study. His parents chose the country and the university. He was allowed to choose his field to major in. He was very young, way below eighteen years of age. He is a very quiet and shy person. As a result he was having adaptation problem and consequently failed repeatedly. When he came back after a year abroad, he displayed quite a few symptoms of depression. He stayed in his room day and night, only coming out to eat his meals alone. Even when family members talk to him, he may choose not to answer. His sleeping pattern is erratic. Sometimes he went for days spending many hours on line. Other days he slept excessively.

If we really consider things from his point of view, he was not given a voice or a choice in whether to go abroad. When told to go, though it was a great privilege because it was expensive, he merely obeyed. When he could not adjust, he hid in his room. He forgo his meals that his parents paid for simply because he could not eat in the public cafeteria without a friend to sit with. Therefore he survived on biscuits and chocolate, putting on at least twenty pounds. A diet like that obviously could not maintain good health and so he was ill often. It led to missed classes and missed deadlines for assignments. He could not bring himself to see his professors to ask for help. As a result he failed.

Looking at all these points, the root of his depression is the fact he thought he had no choice but to obey his parents. He would rather suffer than to tell his parents," No. I don't want to go abroad though I appreciate the fact that you are prepared to spend so much on my education."

I am happy to note that this quiet young man is happy now in a local college, he found himself quite a few friends and is making excellent grades.

(638) Divorces

Happily ever after?

Why is it that one person can survive a messy divorce and moved on to build a happy second marriage but another person had a no fault divorce yet lived in life long depression?

Could it be that in the entire universe, there is only one perfect mate for each person? If the answer is yes, then the history of the human race is doomed. If the answer is no, then some folks really deluded themselves by barking up the wrong tree: fixated on the wrong person.


Let us look at Case A.
Amy married John. Way before the wedding, her best friend warned her that her to-be groom two timed her : or shall I say the young man had his feet in both boats, some how picked Amy and dumped Amy's competitor all within the same six months.

Fifteen years later, Amy went into deep depression. She struggled for years and clawed her way out of the dark pit. Contemplated divorce for years but at the end she made do with the situation.

What about Case B
Betty wedded Harris. They had about ten years of bliss. Then Harris had an affair which led to a divorce. Harris remarried his mistress almost immediately. Betty made a transatlantic move and picked up the pieces with her three young children. It was a hard adjustment which took years. Happy to say, Betty recovered, she finally remarried her old classmate.

I met Betty's mum recently. Mum said that she dared not object to Betty's first match because Betty was madly in love and he was really eligible. Deep down inside Mum was not happy and had a  nagging suspicion that he was not straight. But she was wise enough to keep quiet about her reservations. However, she trusted Betty's second husband and said he is a good man.

I leave you to draw your conclusions whichever way you choose. After all, there are multiple answers, it is not simple as one correct and the rest are wrong.

wedding.gif walyou.com

(637) Fear

I jumped up from my sleep! For a moment, I was disoriented. Where was I? The place looks dark. I then heard cracking sounds like gunshots. My heart raced! I was petrified!


There was a lost feeling, a stomach dropped to the knees sensation! I no longer felt in control. I was not a fifty seven year old woman with a good husband and five grown up kids.


Before I could see anything out of any windows. I called my brother. I know he wakes up early. He said, no, he didn't hear any explosions nor gun shots. It was all quiet and normal in his neighborhood.


Then I thought of Dorothy – she's all alone. Six forty five, I know she'll be up too. I called; she was up but didn't hear anything. Then people were running out of the apartments and someone shouted, 'It's the factories!' and then I could see the flames leaping in the factory building diagonally opposite from Esme's room.


Two more phone calls to tell my brother and Dorothy about the factory fire. My heart was still racing, and I couldn't go back to sleep. Neither could I sit down.


It was two days later that I realized I actually relived the trauma I experienced as a child during May 13, 1969.


I was nine. Extremely happy to miss a month of school. It was no fun going to a premier Chinese school and having to keep up with the heavy load of homework. But it was unnerving to have my uncle running from a taxi, ashen-faced, shouting for us to lock the gate, lock the doors and pull all the curtains.


My mom and grandma was busy serving the meal. They had my uncle seated down, made him drink some brandy. He was shaking, talking in snatches, stuttering about stones hitting the taxi's top, pebbles hitting the windows from the overhead bridge. Obviously he was in shock. He wondered if the taxi driver will be killed going home. We extracted the information that the taxi driver lives in Orient Way. From Lena Park to Orient Way there are byways and the driver need not enter the highway again. We reassured him that the kind driver would be fine. Safely home with his loved ones and eating dinner.


Finally my uncle calmed down enough to take a hot bath prepared by his wife. In those days, one boils a kettle and carry it up to the bathroom to pour it into a bucket. Then cold water is added to a suitable temperature for bathing. I remember he couldn't eat, not much anyway before he collapsed into exhausted sleep.


I was safe, children weren't allowed to stand near doors and windows. Whenever light was on, curtains are drawn fully. We know that people have been shot by the armed forces in certain area in town. The men folk stacked up glass bottles in the balcony.


Funny thing was, I couldn't remember what we ate, can food, soy sauce, rice, I guess! Food was the last thing we worried about as we had enough in the larder.


Prior to the factory fire, I didn't even think I was scared in 1969. It took a living and merciful God to bring me to a similar incident to stoke up all the memories and deep seated fears because he wanted to heal me.

*flowers 96.gif from myspace.com

* There was a racial riot in May 1969 in my country

(636) Telephone friendship

Rina was house sitting for her boss' friends. She was alone during the nights and week-ends. Apart from TV news and talking to the cat, even wrong number calls were breaks to monotony.


A guy called for the man of the house. Somehow one comment led to another and the first phone call lasted half an hour. Throughout the six weeks' stay he called often. Rina never knew that by talking over the phone she could get to know a person so well.


Later they met when Rina tagged along with the couple (whom she house sat for) to a church in the guy's hometown. Rina's host was invited to speak in that church. At that point the young man obtained the older man's permission to court Rina. Sad to say, a month after that Rina returned to her home country.

* enterprise bts.jpg from grandecom.com

(635) Sad children

Photographer: Alison Wright,
NatGeoJan09

I was flipping a National Geographic magazine, January 2009, when my attention was captured by Portrait of Survival taken by Alison Wright. This 4 year old Tibetan girl was returning from a horse festival. The photographer wrote that she had a face that seemed to express the underlying sadness of a culture that had been so challenged.

If this is the first child I saw that was sad, probably I would have just sighed and flipped on. There is another child that I see on a weekly basis that was perfectly normal until her brother was born. At age two, she looked sadder than this Tibetan girl. I know she has a loving father. Her mother works as a kindergarten teacher and happens to be artistic. The family of four lives with the father's parents.

I asked Elizabeth, she seemed to think that artistic folks are dreamers. If dreamers do not talk or smile for days on end, probably that is perfectly normal in her mind. Unfortunately I have spent a fair amount of time with music, fine arts, studio art majors years ago and I know not all of them are quiet nor sad looking. In fact some of these artsy people are very active and noisy most of the time.

Kenneth has a different opinion. He has known this family longer. He thinks the mother has always seemed to have a sad look in her eyes when she was not smiling. But he agreed that the sadness deepened after the first child was born.

I can't help but wonder how could sadness get passed on from one generation to another? Especially when the next generation is barely out of infancy! I am waiting to see if the younger brother of the sad looking girl in my hometown will acquire the same sad look in his eyes like his mum and sis when he turns two.

(634) Army style of rationing

Yesterday I walked past a kindergarten and picked a well-sharpened long pencil.


That brought to mind a dear friend. She would buy pencils by the gross(144) and kept them under lock and key. At the beginning of each month, she would hand out four to each child that used pencils in school.


I listened to her methodical approach with half an ear and could not help but be impressed. A few months later her daughter came to my house for a few hours. She brought her home work and in due course started on her exercises. I took my daughter's sharpener and proceeded to help this little girl in getting her pencils sharpened. As she wrote, we chatted.


After a few moments, I asked her why were her pencils all very short. She replied that she lost those her mum gave her and had to resort to collect those that her friends discarded.


We moved on to talk about music and drawing classes, friends in school and a dozen other things that was of concern to an eight year old. After she left, I went on to wonder if she was careless in caring for her stationery or could those pencils be stolen by craftier classmates.

* box-o-pencils4c.gif from school.discovery.education.com

(633) Expectation

I was holding the communion server and walking rapidly away towards the  exit. Pastor Amy said something that caught my attention. I turned my head back, surveyed the small group momentarily, smiled and moved on. I saw two new comers talking to Pastor Amy. The latter was pointing to me  and probably said that the woman holding the server was Elizabeth's mum. Apparently in the previous few weeks  Elizabeth was assigned to co-ordinate transportation for new comers (youth) to attend Camp. One particular mum who was favorably impressed with my daughter was curious to see who her mother was.

Right after sports day when Elizabeth was in Grade One, I was walking behind a couple. The father asked, "But who is Elizabeth?"  Later I found that my youngest was rather outstanding in her class, the group of homemaker mums waiting at the school gate before dismissal time at the end of the school day would talk about what she did or achieved the previous day.

Looking further back in nursery school, one mother refused to believe that I was Elizabeth's mum. She told the teacher that the latter must be mistaken.

It is futile to deny that in terms of appearance, Elizabeth favors my husband. My skin tans as soon as it is exposed to the least amount of sunlight and it holds the tan for at least two years. My husband and daughter have fair skin, they peel rather than tan.

Elizabeth carries clothes well and chooses colours smartly. Through the years, I have learned to blend and never dress to attract attention. She is an extrovert while I remain somewhat introverted. Yet why do folks insist that a daughter must look like, act like and behave like her mum?

* ipod-flower.jpg from geekalerts.com

(632) Cats are tempted by fish

Affair

When this couple was residing in Wellington they were happily married. They have three children. They are not rich, but there is an undefinable harmonious feeling in their home. Now they live in Auckland. They are much more affluent, but somehow things are no longer the same. For one, Mr. Green traveled more. Then Mrs Green no longer trusts her husband. We don't really know for sure if there is any evidence or basis, Mrs Green thinks her other half cheats on her.


In this particular case, Mrs Green took a few remedial steps and she thinks the wayward husband came back. In other cases, the same remedial steps chased the husband further away. It could mean ending up in the divorce court. Or it could mean two strangers living in the same house. Yet it is evident that once the mutual trust is gone, the marriage could no longer rest on the same footing. The lady looks at every rash and skin problem as the much feared STD. Hand phones are guarded with the fear of losing life and limb. A million and one things changed. Is it really worth it for the man to have a few one night stands or for the matter, a long lasting illicit affair in some far off country? It means having a wife that is divided from him for the rest of his living days. That obviously could not be any loyalty left in the relationship. He would thereafter be known as unfaithful, untrustworthy, a turncoat, a common lier and cheat.

* LotusFlowerNecklace.jpg from beadinfinitum.com

(631) Die young

Out of all the friends I had in college, Margarita stood head and shoulder above the rest. She was not the prettiest, neither was she the smartest. Yet she was the one who cared for the under dog. She could be the life and soul of the party when she chose to. Alternatively she could hide in the darkest corner and dreamed. She was fun and she could be funny.


She spent one year in Spain and came back with enthralling tales. I sat at her feet and listened to story after story of actual happenings. Before I knew it , it was three am. Years later I often wondered what she would be up to. Time stopped when I heard of her sudden death at the age of twenty seven. What a waste! She had taken some light away from this world when she departed. But then I would not expect her to grow old and crippled or die inch by inch. It would not be her style!

* amelie-vuillon-flower-and-pebbl from uncovermusic.com


The good die young. She simply passed on in a blaze of glory.

(630) Angelic Assistance

A young lady was standing by her car, afraid and helpless! The car broke down in a lonely spot. Quickly she prayed for help.

A motorbike came. The man got down, checked the engine and did a few things to restart the car. He then told her to drive straight to a workshop.

The grateful lady looked into her purse, found two ten dollar bills and meant to pay him for his help. But there was no one. Not a single soul! No motorbike either!

*flowers-2-photos.png from webdesign-elements.com

(629) Grandma

 In Christ, there is no good bye, in christ, there is no end... Why do we have to say good bye? Is it possible to say au revior instead?


Some times we can, but other times, it may not be possible. Let me tell you about my grandma. She is the bestest grand ma any girl could ever pray or wish for. She loved me. She took care of me. She would even let me hold her finger all night long just because I had night mares. Yes, she teased me, and she told stories. A new story every night. I must have heard thousands, growing up with her.


She was illiterate, yet she was wise. She could not even sign her name, but she brought up five children all on her own. She tapped rubber trees for many years. In her old age she listened to her rambunctious grand daughter teaching her all that modern science had to offer. She was open and she she was teachable. She was born in Canton and her mom died while giving birth to her. In those days, there was no man made formula to feed babies. She was given to a peasant family. When she was ten years old, her brother came to offer her a place in his family and education. She chose to stay with her adopted folks because they loved her and she has grown accustomed to them.


She was a mail order bride and sailed to the South Sea when she was twenty. She had five children and one day her husband fell down and died. My youngest uncle was an infant then. She had a hard life. She was suspicious of all things foreign and things she could not comprehend. You see, her half sister was a bible woman in China. Her brother ran to Hong Kong when China fell. Her biological family was Christian and they were middle class and well educated.


She died when I was sixteen. She was ready to go and she had suffered hard and long in the hospital. I basically met her for the last time in the hospital ward. She recognised us but she could no longer talk. Years later I accepted Jesus into my heart. And I don't think anyone talked to her about the hereafter before her death. So unless she changed her mind before she breathed her last, she would have been lost. That last glimpse I had of her waving from the hospital bed had been the final good bye on earth. I am actually not much younger now than she was when she passed on. And that was that. I could not have talked her into a bold step of eternal life in salvation as a child, for I didn't know then. Now she is no longer here. It couldn't be regrets! What is it then?

* jasmine-flower.jpg from pukullima.blogspot.com

(628) Desire for sons

Sometimes I wonder if children are really our heritage? Let us see two real cases:-


1. There are these parents who had many children because they wanted two boys. The girls all turned out well. We have a lecturer, an accountant, a economist, an engineer and a senior corporate manager. One boy worked in computing and is self sufficient. The other, however, seemed to be the parents' constant burden. He married a girl who demanded a big house, a new car and a large allowance. When the business the parents helped her husband started was prospering, all went well. When there was a business down turn, the entity they cared for could not survive because husband and wife drained the reserve too fast and there was no fund to tide over the bad times. The business entity collapsed and the marriage almost ended too. By then, there were four children. It was fortunate that the husband found a job near his residence and the wife found a job that took her out of town on a regular basis. Things dragged on and even though there was constant bickering, they did not exactly end up contributing money to divorce lawyers. However, to keep things from unraveling, the parents had to stand in the gap. They cooked, they cleaned, they babysat, they shopped with their own retirement fund, they provided for the entire household even though they actually lived in a separate house nearby.

2. This couple had two biological daughters. They desired a son so much that they adopted one. Exactly as the case above, the daughters are graduates and earned good salary. The son, however, took many years and much funds from the father and could not qualify as a chartered accountant. In the end, after exausting the father's reserve, he took a bank loan and finished a basic degree. Now, one would think he could stand on his own two feet finally! No! He loves good food and fine living. Every month he borrows money from either his mum or his dad. Sad to say, the wife is equally extravagant. She spends all her pay on herself and her fashionable outfits. It is funny to see how two almost normal and sensible old people being milked on a regular basis. Their son seemed to be their blind spot.

* childrenhands.jpg from jacksonvilledivorcelawyerblog.com

(627) Fate?

That day Ken asked how did April marry such a jerk! How, indeed. It was easy... April met her future husband as soon as she settled in Canada. After all, her two senior house mates were almost engaged to the two guys who shared a house with her would be husband. This jerk we know as her husband was actually her first boyfriend. And she married him later. When we were young, we did have limited vision.


Looking back, had my father not taught me to honour my promise, I could have married a jerk myself:-


After my graduation, I started to lecture in a private college in my home city. Meanwhile I was interviewing far and wide for a better job. Among the many jobs I applied for, there was a programming post in a neighbouring country. There I visited with my college friend. She was overtly trying to match her elder brother with me. While we were abroad, there was one year of over lap. He was in his senior year while I was a freshman. We have met a few times and attended a dance together one weekend. According to my room mate, this guy was interested in me. I certainly did not see anything myself in that direction. There it was, in my friend's home, I could certainly sense a warm welcome in the parents. They liked me.


I did not get the job offer. There I went on with my job search in my hometown. Three months later, just as I had verbally promised to report for work in a new company the following week, a telephone call came offering me the job I applied for in my friend's country. I had a tough time deciding at the spur of the moment. If I were to say yes, I would have to travel there and start work in three days' time. But I had given my word that I would accept the new job in my hometown. All within a few minutes, I explained that although I was not bound by a written contract, I would not like to go back on my verbal promise. If the phone call had come just twelve hours earlier, the decision would be to take up the foreign offer.


A year and a half later, I went to visit my friend again. That trip was to attend her sister's wedding and to shop for my own nuptial. I had accepted the offer of a man with a good heart. It was a narrow escape as later events proved that my friend's brother turned out to be quite a bad husband despite his polished appearance, wealth, status and potential. I claim no credit in the choice, it was circumstances that dictated my decision.

*Thai-Street-Food-786862.jpg from foodmayhem.com

(626) Yuppies' kids

Yesterday I was chatting with my neighbour. Somehow the topic of young children came up. Both of us agreed heartily that this upcoming generation of kids are an out of control bunch. I was lamenting on how those toddlers in church are not much better than those we see in public places. She commented that in the bible it was written that in the last days the spirit of lawlessness would enter the last generation.


This evening my daughter and I accompanied a friend to a local restaurant. Since I had already eaten, I was looking around the place at other patrons. There was this family of six which included a young boy sitting on a high chair. The entire family was discussing noisily on the choice of dishes. No one was paying any particular attention to the youngest member. To attract the attention of the mother, he yelled, "Oi!" quite a few times. He was loud and he was rude. The worse part he was actually calling his mother in this ill mannered way.


If we observe the yuppy parents and their off springs, we would notice the following:

1. The parents drive big and expensive cars
2. They usually have a maid in tow
3. The children are invariably well dressed in attire that are more expensive than the well-to-do adults
4. The mums have hardly any control over the toddlers and lamely chase them a few yards behind
5. The dads cannot get the kids to obey them, even at that young age
6. When the children eat, they are not taught any manners and they often make messes
7. Most of those children take three baths on a daily basis even if they live in air-con environment
8. Quite a few of them talk a jumble of two languages, with indistinct pronunciation and limited vocabulary

It is very sad that the well educated and high income earners need not produce the best behaved children.

* children-jump.jpg from psy2.ucsd.edu

(625) Choosing friends

Choosing Friends


One day I was talking to my youngest about choosing friends. I have seldom interfered with whom she befriends in school. However, I do consciously choose whom I allow her or encourage her to mix with out of school.

She asked why it is that despite the fact I didn't quite like so and so's actions, I went on allowing her to spend time with the girl. I had to think about it for a few days before I knew the answer.

Very simply, this girl is young and she has an exceptional mom( who takes raising her children seriously). Moreover, I see this mom doing very well, her children are polite, kind, and respectful. Being inexperienced, teenagers often foul up in trying situations. Well, one has to learn from one's mistakes sometimes.  And it is better to learn from small matters when one is young than to play safe early on and commit big blunders much later in life.

If we can, we learn from others' mistakes. If we cannot, we try to make only small mistakes with no devastating and life long consequences.

* flower 13.gif from dazzlejunction.com

(624) Waitering

Two months ago my friend's son went to help out at a contact's cafe. This is a family run eatery situated near a well known college.


The cafe is owned by five brothers. Three are active partners who work there. One resides in Canada while the fifth lives in UK. The temporary helper was recruited as one of the active partners is recovering from an operation. My friend's son was amazed at how much most foreign students spent on their meals. These are middle eastern students, flushed with oil cash. He was telling me how within breakfast or lunch, a guy student can eat up more than the casual wage earned in an entire day as a waiter ($3.5 x 10 hours).

I guess what applies to real estate applies equally to eateries : it is location, location and location. The cafe is located near a college with lots of rich foreign students.

* waiter.gif from promega.com

(623) Yesteryear games

Children of the by gone days may not have sophisticated toys but many were the games and physical activities they enjoyed.


Remember the marbles? Some seasons my brothers used to dig holes in the dirt road in front of our wooden house to play with white marbles. The aim of the game is to hit your enemies' marbles one by one into any of the holes. Once I manage to hit one which is not mine into any hole, it becomes mine,  These white marbles were about the diameter of the fifty cent coin (27 mm). Other years they played with transparent but small marbles with beautiful flowers inside. I still see the small marbles in aquariums.


Year round girls would play with five stones. Actually they weren't stones but little cloth bags filled with either rice, beans or sand. The game involves throwing up the little bags in different configurations and then catching it when it or increasing number of bags come down. It tests the eye hand co-ordination and the timing as well as how versatile the hand is in catching as many bags at one go.


All they require was a flat space where three or four girls could squat or sit down to play.


Do you remember the long strand of rubber bands? We could do simple high jump or the twist around touch the strand with our bum. We used to play that under the old big trees while waiting for our buses. It provided hours of fun and it really is good exercise, not many girls can be fat despite the many plates of white rice we ate. We were also nimble on our feet. It is like playing badminton but we didn't have to look for badminton courts.


And the kite flying ... I still remember my brothers breaking a bottle of green glass (seven up drink) so the whole gang could coat their strings of the kites. Then many were the hours they spent having a fight for the championship of the neighborhood. In the end everyone lost their hand-made kite except the champion. The losers' kites flew away as soon as they were cut loose. I believe it was more fun making a champion's kite than playing.


Then we had the picture cards. We would pile whatever cards we were willing to part with in the middle of the dirt lane. The every one would take out their slipper and from a distance of fifteen paces aim at the cards. Whoever hit and caused the pile of cards to fall had won them. I remember three sheets that can be cut into sixty cards used to cost five cents when I was in kindergarten.


What about the flowers tied together with a rubber band which we kept air borne kicking with our ankles? We loved to play robbers and thieves, eagle and chicks, what is the time Mr. Wolf? Most of these games involved a lot of running around in groups. It was a lot of fun.

* toys-brushes.jpg from playlandstation.com

(622) Making Fish Floss

Many years ago, I lived in a poor neighbourhood. We were rich in terms of playmates, good neighbours, fellowship and much enjoyable communal activities.


A few of our male neighbours are die-hard hobby fishermen. Every possible opportunity they would go to the mining ponds to catch fish. When they returned, all muddy, sweaty and tired, the rest of the families would come into action. Those who could wield knives would defin and gut the catch. The women folks would each take a portion back to their houses to steam the fishes. Later we kids with good eye sight would sit around the long table to take out every bone, whether big or small. After that the women would return to their kitchens to fry the cooked fish meat into floss. The entire operation involved everyone; from old granny to a boy of four year old, under the vigilant care of an elder sister. Once we had a bumper catch of two hundred over fish. The processing involved working from eight pm until one am. Some of the catch had to be frozen in the nearest coffee shop's freezer. The next day, we went on processing the catch.


After many hours of work, each family would get a share of the tasty floss. Closing my eyes now, I can recall how watery porridge would taste with the sweet and salty floss. That was a very happy part of my childhood that money could not buy which no one could take away from me. Sad to say, my children would not have a chance to experience this!

* BoarFish009.jpg from glaucus.org.uk

(621) Live happily ever after

Case A
Man and woman registered their marriage and lived together.
Case B
Male and female registered their marriage in a religious house and dwelled together.
Case C
Dude and chick cohabited.

It seemed that all three couples are doing the same thing, like the ending of Sleeping Beauty -- live happily ever after.
But are you sure it is really ever after?


We will take Case C. Chick got pregnant. Well, that's alright, they are planning to get married, anyway. In due course, the baby is born. Meanwhile, dude and chick querrelled day and night. Dude's parents are concerned. Chick's parents are worried. Chick moved out. Chick's mum advised her daughter to leave the baby (very much loved by everyone involved) to dude's mum to care for and to bring up.


End result
Dude is single again. Chick is free to hunt for Prince Charming. Dude's mum acquired a new grandson without a daughter-in-law.


There are three elements involved: the legal step, the religious ceremony and the customary rites. The legal step involved signing some documents. The religious ceremony involves the clergy in a religious setting. Customary rites may be wearing some costumes, serving tea, or walking round a fire. They are equally significant.

* 3D-Hearts-and-Flowers 1.png from softpedia.com

(620) Foongsui

A few years before my father passed away, he took a foongsui master (Wind and water expert) to look at my sixth uncle's shop lot. According to the master, there is no more potential in that piece of land for business. It was a thriving business center fifteen years ago. Interestingly, he reassured my father that his youngest brother would have his circumstances improve increasingly as he grows older. We all thought the prosperity would come from his children. It did, from one son who graduated from Australia and another who was earning ex-patriot's pay on mainland China.

A few weeks back my mother and I went to visit them and learnt that his piece of land would be acquired by the petrochemical multinational company as oil was found just off shore. If the residents all co-operate and negotiate wisely, they would each end up with a sizable fortune. Provided they do not fritter it away, my uncle and his wife would be well taken care of with that money for the remainder of their lives.

The same master looked at my brother's house and predicted that my brother and all who stay in the house would prosper from year number ten onward. That prediction did come true. My brother and sister-in-law were promoted many times in the intervening years. Of course they are hard working and they work smart too. Looking at the position of bed in the master bed room, he said the second child would be a girl, that happened too. My niece is now twenty two years old. All these happened many years ago.

Here I want to state that there is something in foongsui. Maybe it is science. Maybe it is occult. Everything that man said came to pass. He himself had passed on. But the art was handed down and it is increasingly being accepted by folks in this country. One expert calculated and claimed that foongsui controls 21% of what would happen in our lives. But I know the Almighty God controls 100% of my life. I choose to believe in him.

Seventeen years ago he asked me to write for his glory. I did in spurts and starts but had no medium of reaching a reading public until I saw my daughter reading a blog. Recently I saw that without my trying to increase my readership by advertising on my part, this blog can achieve a monthly page view of 812. Now I see it is indeed possible for me to be a published author with international readers. If God is willing, it is probably that someday I may become a speaker and a broadcaster, not because it is my ambition but I am not supposed to sit at home, shake legs and waste all the talents he had built into me for his purposes.

(619) Cleanliness next to godliness?

As a student, I have visited many households. Some are beautifully furnished. Some are so clean that one can not find a speck of dust. Of course there are some pretty untidy public areas too. Knowing my school friends, it is not surprising that the super clean houses do not shelter happier folks than the slightly untidy ones. For explanation I still subscribe to what Mr. Edwards said,"You see, when a homemaker spends most of her waking hours cleaning what is already clean, how does she find the time and energy to devote to her loved ones?" He was commenting on his mother-in-law's sparkling house. Funny that I still think of him and what he said twenty eight years ago.


Many people think that cleanliness is next to godliness. I am sure there is a certain amount of truth in that. But how clean is clean enough? For a double storey link house in the suburbs which windows and doors are closed most of the time, is there really a need to mop the floor twice a day? For that matter, why wake up at four thirty in the morning to wipe all the windows in the single storey house daily?


There is a very narrow line between being clean and being obsessively clean. Through the years, I saw how my long time neighbour crosses that line. It is very subtle. The yearly habit of clearing out the closets and cupboards and wiping down everything is good. Yet when doing that means using up precious leave and returning to work tired, I think the person concerned should re-evaluate her priorities. When the part-time maid just cleaned the entire house on a Monday, my neighbour would devote half of her Tuesday (public holiday) cleaning house again. Now is that really necessary? As age catches on, she seems to clean more, not less. Perhaps if she enjoys cleaning, and gets into really good moods after that; then it is worthwhile. But in reality she feels her aches and pains, gets agitated and moves from cleaning to banging her pots and pans. How does this consequence of an obsession affects others around her? As for me, I see the banging of crockery as a sign I should make my presence scarce.

* flowers30.jpg from commentsyard.com

(618) Arthur

Let us look at the name Arthur. Straight away I think of King Arthur and the Knights of Round Table.


There is an Arthur I know and respect in North America. He restores antiques. In New Zealand there is a beloved friend of mine who is a Captain in the Merchant Navy who is also called Arthur. They are both tall, good looking, gentle, and neat in appearance. But believe it or not, both of them walk in a certain gait, confident, sure, measured, and yet threatens no one. They are both good husbands, wonderful fathers and the sort of men we want as neighbours. And there is more, both of them are soft spoken, they speak slowly, deliberately, and prefers to remain quiet if it is at all possible.


It may be co-incidence. But then again, it may not be.

* alan-buckle-teal-bubble-flow from art.com

(617) Aborigines and business

A friend I met recently is a missionary translator who spent twenty years in a small island north of Australia. She lived in the hilly village, together with her fellow translator from Canada learnt the local language. They form a suitable set of written symbols to represent the never before written language. Through the years they worked on an English-local language dictionary. They started literacy classes for adults. They printed reading primers for children and set up indigenous kindergartens. It took eighteen years for a team to translate the New Testament into the local language. Last but the most important of all, they teach the economically backward villagers how to market their native agricultural products and handicrafts.

My husband went to visit this village and was surprised that the native stall holder held onto his own set of prices for the handicrafts. After all, he was buying a few souvenirs for family members and he was not about to bargain to slash the prices down. However, another visitor from a neighboring country felt differently. He wanted to purchase some bead decorative items. One item costs seven dollars, he asked how much would seven cost, the stall owner said forty two dollars. He asked for the number to be rounded to forty. After some persuading, the deal was struck and money exchanged hands.

Now we compare the above mentioned stall owner to one in my country. My uncle loves durian, a most smelly fruit that grow in the jungle as well as plantations. He stopped in some small village and bought durians from a local aborigine man who roamed far and wide in the jungle to collect the fruits. One heap of durian costs fifteen dollars. He asked what about two heaps, the answer is thirty dollars. My uncle asked his sons to pick up all three heaps and put in his trunk. He opened his wallet and gave a fifty dollar bill to the native, expecting him to give him five dollar change. Surprisingly the stall holder gave him two ten dollar bills. My uncle was taken aback and asked if he was sure. When the business owner answered in the affirmative, my uncle walked back to the car commenting on how a calculator and some teaching of simple mathematics lessons would alleviate the plight of these aborigines who are subsisting on the land.

Most well meaning people would not cheat the aborigine people. But it takes a really special person to choose to live among them to help them catch up with our increasingly complicated world.

(616) Adoption

* 9children.jpg from oxford.anglican.org
One couple had difficulty conceiving. When given an opportunity, they adopted a girl. They loved her as their very own. As days go by, they felt fulfilled. A few years later, they were happy to find themselves the parents of their own biological son. The family was then complete. This girl excelled in her studies. She became an important government servant. The boy, however, could not pass exams and became a blue collar worker.


Years flew by. This tiny family expanded for a little while when the daughter got married and had a son. Therefore we have the grandparents, the unmarried son, and the new couple and a baby. Sad to say, the son-in-law died young. It is fortunate that his life insurance policy provided for the baby boy even though he was no longer there. Grand parents grew old and the old man passed away, full of years. The family went back to being made up of four members again.


Years passed by and our government servant retired. For some one who distinguished herself in her illustrious career, unfortunately, had no business sense. She dabbled in business and lost almost everything she owned. Sad to say, she took her mum's life saving and her brother's hard earned pittance to pay her debt. If she had stopped there, I would have no story to write. After all, her mum and her brother had lived with her all their lives. As a family unit, one should help another in times of need. She went on to borrow money from neighbours, friends, relatives or any one else who extended a hand of friendship and good will to her. This went on for months, it is needless to say that she did not repay any of it despite plenty of promises to repay.


Meanwhile, she still own three houses. One she lives in with her family, one she let out and the third one she left vacant. Her poor brother, knowing everything, is too proud to face anybody. She pretends that nothing had happened. Her mum was kept in the dark, no one wanted to tell the old lady that her once well respected and beloved daughter descended to the low moral level of extending her hand to borrow money from every single person who would give her any shred of trust. Is it true that nurture could not overcome nature? This woman's biological father was a gambler and none of her natural siblings amounted to much in their jobs or personal life.

(615) Alternative life style

Are sexual orientations born? I am not an expert, I can't give cut and dry answers. I believe most of the time, it is. After saying that, I think our environment does shape us to a large extent.

When I was in pre-university, I was in a male dominated class, that is to say that three quarters of the members were male. Among the male, I want to zoom in on one, let me call him Alex. He is tall and fair, most girls in the college considered him good looking. He is artistic, this inclination is well demonstrated by the beautiful deco he whipped up on a low budget for the Freshies' Ball. At the same time, I want to state that he is very good in Physics and Higher Maths. When we organised a Valentine's Day Party, everyone loved the butter cup cakes he brought. We conveniently attributed the delicious treats to his sisters. Much later, we discovered that he actually baked them. His mum and many sisters did a good job in teaching him.


Up to that point, I believe he was hetero-sexual. Because we all noticed his interest in the second prettiest girl in our group. However, fifteen years later, in a chance meeting, he told me he was gay.


A lot of things happened within the intervening years. Alex was kicked out of a famous university. We heard that he befriended the wrong crowd and spent far too much time pub crawling. For a nineteen-year-old that was first time far away from home, I think it is something I could have sympathy for. None of us is perfect, each one does make mistakes. His just happened to have far reaching effects in a bad way.


With a one way air-ticket and the first year's tuition, he flew to a faraway country. He knew he had to survive on his own, because no one would remit him any more money. Working very hard and living frugally, he put himself through university and earned a prestigious degree. In the process of doing that, he mixed around and accepted help from some fringe groups. He actually returned to his own country with his gay partner. Finding it tough to be out of the closet in his home town, he went to the nearest city and started a successful vegetarian restaurant. I am not passing judgement. If everyone could be a little lenient and not push him away, perhaps today he would be straight and happily married with children.

* dx-flower-final-other-colors.gif from webdesign.org

(614) Dream comes true (out of a tragedy)

Remember the Pan Am jet that exploded over Scotland? After many years of legal tussle, the kins of those lost were financially compensated.


There was a church mission staff who dreamed of attending a famous spiritual seminar in the United Kingdom. With her hand to mouth existence in a much persecuted country, she would never save up the required amount within her life span.

But God is merciful. Someone heard about the need and must have recommended her. A foundation set up by the parents of one young lady who was on the ill-fated air-liner gave a generous grant to help this mission worker to realise her dream.

Every sane person on this planet would oppose terrorism. Yet in this single incident, the explosion of hate actually brought about something good.

* flower-08 from ace-clipart.com

(613) Gadget lovers

My cousin who lives in Hong Kong is an urban yuppy (young professional) with a relatively high income. He is a very lucky young man as his parents love him enough to purchase a residential unit for him. As he was going on a merry go round of changing girl friends, he was also Steve Jobs' ideal customer. He purchased every electronic gadget that comes off the conveyor belt. Just to illustrate his devotion to such gadgets, he owned eight hand phones after entering into the job market less than three years. One he gave to his brother, the second discarded ended with his dad, the third went to his then girl friend, the fourth went to his mum, the fifth he tried to give me. I did not take it as I heard that hand phone needed something done to it before it would function in another country. Perhaps he still has perfectly functioning hand phones languishing in his dresser drawers, who knows?

My husband's nephew is another high flyer. To date, he gave us a desk top computer, a note book, a smart phone and a tablet. While I am extremely grateful to him for his immense generosity, I see his poor wife's frustrations in getting him to save for investment. It is wonderful that he earns well and also has a high potential of earning more in the future.

Could this be another form of addiction? I know it is disastrous to be an alcoholic. Perhaps it is terrible to be addicted to gambling. It is also quite bad to smoke six packs of cigarettes a day. It is not that bad to drink seven cups of coffee daily. How about being compulsive to possess the newest item made by Apple, for six months at least until the next model comes out?

(612) Chameleon -forcing one to change

When I was living up north, I had a good friend. she was a most helpful person. From providing transportation to taking a new comer to the library or the dentist, she was truly a blessing. It was surprising that others viewed her differently.


After I heard the third party's observation, I did a little observing myself. To a certain extent this third party is correct. Should career choices been made differently, my good friend would make a perfect lawyer's wife. Sad to say, the good man chose the cloth (he became a pastor). Therefore his wife was valiantly trying to be a good helpmeet. By nature she is an introvert. To be her husband's helper, she played the role of a warm hostess. So one moment she is warm, then as soon as she could, she switched back to her true self: being quiet and on the side line. I still like her, in fact I have an added measure of respect for her from then on.


Recently I moved back to my home town, this is my familiar hunting ground. Here I met a new friend. She holds a job that requires her to greet folks. After a while, I realise this new friend is like my good friend. The nature of the former's job requires warmth, she switched it on. You see, one cannot alter one's personal traits over night. After a while, she would have to go back to her own self. This frequent switches was very confusing for me at first. When I realized I did not unknowingly cause the cold spells, I began to relax and enjoy the warmth whenever it comes on.

* Country Flower Home Pic.jpg from countryflower.com

(611) Possibility

While my family was living in Silver city, we used to come back to my hometown during the school holidays. My hospitable former classmate would host me and my children for a night or two. Our children enjoyed playing with each other many times a year.

Elizabeth was born two months before her son, Martin. I distinctly remember visiting her at the hospital and peering into the nursery to look at the longest baby there that day, Martin. Recently, we talked about the reality of having pretty daughters. My friend has all boys, and she personally feels there is a distinct lack in not having another female in the house. Well, she agreed that one day she would have a few daughters-in-law.

Martin's mum related an old tale. She is a most special mum who gave up a profitable business and a successful career to home school Martin who was diagnosed as developmentally late as much as two years when he was four. She is therefore, very observant and would store up any and everything about her sons, particularly Martin. Apparently when Martin was six years old, he was a very quiet boy. One day out of the blue, he made an observation. While his mum was driving, he said,
"Mum, are all the Elizabeth in the world beautiful?"
"Well, son, why Elizabeth, why not Christine? Or Susan?" His mum asked.
"Well, one Elizabeth in Kindie, another Elizabeth next door, and third Elizabeth from Silver City; they are all beautiful."
...

Sometimes we mothers would like to open up holes in our children's head and look inside to see what they are thinking and feeling. I guess in this instance we both know that Martin thinks my Elizabeth is attractive. Of course we do not belong in the era of fixing up marriages between our unborn children. But it was fruit for thought to ponder over the possibility of having Martin marrying Elizabeth. Martin is six feet three and Elizabeth is a good foot shorter. Martin is studying in New Zealand but Elizabeth is studying near by. It is most unlikely to happen.

(610) Tecnicolor/ Interesting buildings 64

 Somehow this picture reminds me about old technicolour movies like Mary Poppins and My Fair Lady. Is it the combination of lovely colours that evoke childhood memories? Or could it be the old fashion setting?

The cottage looks occupied. There are people waiting in there. It is like a long awaited homecoming. There is warmth, laughter, good food and loved ones inside.

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.          Ps 31:24

kinkade foxgloveCottageB.jpg artbythomaskinkade.com

(609) Business acumen?

There were four people in my car. We were traveling between towns. Christine saw a jungle fruit called "petai" being sold. We were too late to stop there, as we were travelling at 60 Km/h. There after the driver slowed down to 50 Km/h and the rest of us scanned the roadside for such stalls. Ten minutes later we scouted one, slowed down and stopped.

I did not get out as I treasured the air-conditioning in the car. As I was listening to a radio station, the other three went to make purchases. When they finally came back, they brought back a huge bunch of "petai". And I mean a lot. Each stalk subdivides into eight to twelve branches. Each branch leads to a long pod. Each pod contains about thirteen seeds. We are talking about ten bunches multiply by let's say ten pods -- about a hundred pods and therefore maybe 1200 seeds!

In my heart I was wondering if they were purchasing gifts for kith and kin or they were thinking of reselling? Christine and Yoke Fong were asking each other about the amount being paid. Christine thought Yoke Fong overpaid the seller and Yoke Fong also thought Christine paid more than she should. Since neither admit the other is right, they took out their purses and counted what was in hand to see how much was paid. After much recalling and calculation, they realized that Christine paid thirty dollars and Yoke Fong actually paid nothing. The confusion arose from the seller refusing to divide the huge bunch. In the end both ladies agreed to each buy half a bundle. They negotiated down the price to sixty dollars. Each lady took out one 50 dollar note. Christine received twenty dollars in change. Yoke Fong's 50 dollar bill was returned as the seller did not have change. In between there were other customers and separate transactions. Some how, Yoke Fong thought she paid fifty dollars. She took the bunch and walked back to the car. Meanwhile, Christine followed and had a running conversation trying to figure out exactly how much money had been handed over.

My husband, who was looking at durian and mangosteen, thought they both paid and obtained their rightful change. We proceeded and were miles away when they were sure the seller made a very bad bargain by insisting that they bought the entire bundle. We laughed and laughed about the big confusion and how blur both ladies were. We felt very bad that the business owner unwittingly giving them another fifty per cent discount. After all, it would have been the easiest thing to untie the bundle, and divide it into two bunches of 5 branches.

When we reached home, my husband and I brought back a gift of one branch. The seeds were removed for cooking.  Ingredients used: chilli, shallot, garlic, dried prawns, onions. The first four ingredients were pounded into a wet paste and onions were sliced. Heat a spoonful of oil in a pan, brown the onion slices. Add the wet paste. Stir the mixture until fragrant, add the seeds. If necessary, add a little water to prevent food being burnt. Add salt and sugar(optional) to taste. Serve with white rice. These seeds could be eaten raw, therefore cooking time is up to personal preferences. In fact there are local who would shy from eating "petai", as it is actually stinking in terms of smell. Those who like it have acquired the taste like westerners liking blue cheese. For those who are knowledgeable, "petai" has medicinal value. It is supposed to reduce blood sugar level and good for cleansing the kidneys.