(739) Keeping a husband with roving eyes

I have a childhood friend who married young. While I was dreaming about studying abroad, she was carrying her first child. When I came back with my first degree, she just had her third. While I started my career, she went on to have her next three kids. Then I got married and had my children. A few years after that, she had her last baby. So altogether she had seven off springs.

Since she married a much older man, he was in control of their relationship from day one. When he had an affair, she was nearly devastated. Her own family was very supportive, one of her sisters actually paid for the PI (private investigator) charges for tracing the mistress. A few brothers went to confront the guilty couple. It was speedily settled with severe warning to the unfaithful husband and a once off payment to the mistress. It was proven that the condo supplied by the husband was used to house the mistress' long term boy friend'. The mistress was pretending to be pregnant to fleece the gullible man. The young and attractive woman obtained the job with the explicit purpose of luring her boss to bed. Right after the entire matter was settled, my friend resigned from a very good civil service post to work in her husband's firm. In the process of doing that, she lost a good pension that was to be paid should she continue to work until retirement.

Lately we met up again, she was badly over weight. From her hey days of high heels, she descended to wearing flat heels. Even with the care of choosing boring shoes, her knees still hurt whenever she walk up steps. It seemed simple to suggest that she take gluco samine. She had been taking that for years. She has high cholesterol, got to be careful of her salt intake and has to control her dessert intake. Looking at her, I am not so sure that keeping that husband with roving eyes was worth her while. Sure, her seven children need their father, but does she need a husband who shouts at her whenever he felt like it? Does she need to serve him as his slave and eat up everything he was greedy enough to order at every meal? I think it is futile to keep a husband whose heart has flown away. If she does not take stock of the situation, she is heading to a wheelchair or knee replacement surgery. Then who will keep an eye at her ever straying husband?

dessert.jpg miemo.net

(738) The Manchurian Candidate

It is a plausible story. We all know that most of the wealth of our world is concentrated in the hands of less than twenty families. With wealth, folks acquired power. Elections take a lot of money to run. Air time on TV are particularly expensive.

An entire platoon of army were kidnapped in Kuwait and things happened in the empty dessert. Two privates died and the son of a well known senator was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. Later he was well placed to become the Vice President candidate. Strange things happened to every member of the platoon. One died naturally(disease). Another in an accident. Yet a third killed himself... One common after effect was that they all have dreams, dreams that seemed more real than what they consciously remembered.

As I watched, it was insidious to have mind altering implants in men's brains against their will. Good men were programmed to kill and to lie with no remorse. Then they no longer remember what they did. Some how, the two member most involved were able to foil the evil plan to put a sleeper or robot in the white house. The show ended with the charismatic young Vice President elect and his power hungry mother assassinated. The crime was pinned on a former assassin, thus freeing the other member to be rehabilitated. The moneyed group was known as the Manchuria Global, hence we have this rather unrelated name.

(737) A sensitive stomach lining

How may I describe Bee? She is one of the most discerning and open person I met in my home country. We met in a crowd. She could see through my ordinariness and actually remembered she wanted one thing I mentioned in passing. Therefore she called me to initiate contact.  And we have a few years of close association.

After a year or two of picking my brain while she opened her interesting world to me, she told me out of the blue that if I care to, I should get the job of writing a column on how to get the best of children. As she puts it, never mind without paper qualification, my methods actually worked.

Were I to think of her as an unusual person; her daughter, Crystal, is even more unique. When Crystal was in grade school, a fellow mum witnessed her being almost strangled by a so called friend in the cafeteria. The victim turned pale, staggered to the sink and threw up. Yet she didn't complain to any teacher. Neither did she say a word to her mother.  Around that time, Crystal behaved exactly the same way as before or after the incident. Bee heard about the incident from another mother.

One day I was sitting in Bee's kitchen, talking nineteen to a dozen. The topic of hives came up. Bee related how they made a trip to a neighboring country to visit relatives. Their relations, being good hosts, treated them to expensive restaurant meals. Crystal was a small size ten-year-old who could not tolerate spicy food. Since the host and hostess ordered a spread of adult's choices, Crystal could hardly find anything to eat. Anyway, she was extremely hungry after a full day of shopping, she ate whatever available that she could tolerate and swallow. When they came back, Crystal had a very bad case of hives that did not respond to the usual course of anti-histamine. As I questioned Bee closely, she related how Crystal for years ate very few types of food. Not only was Crystal underweight, she often reacted with different symptoms if she was forced to eat food she would refuse if given a choice.

There I made a few comments that Bee agreed whole-heartedly with. She said she wished her GP knew as much as I do about children's allergies. Then she went on to ask me a number of questions that her Doctors could not or would not answer.

As I answered one question after another without thinking, both she and I were staggered. How did I know? After all, I had no medical training. Well, I had no explanation until I met a general practitioner who was not only experienced but who is a life long learner. He prescribed me a one week dose of steroid. I returned to his clinic two days later complaining I felt giddy, had heart palpitation and possibly had hallucination (it is something like dreaming while awake). He believed I had very sensitive stomach lining, probably was born with it since I avoided antibiotics and certain other drugs like plague throughout my life.

What are the chances that I meet up with the mum of a girl who shared similar nutritional problems, food allergies and emotional upheavals of childhood with me? One in a few millions in terms of probability, I guess. It is not like I could take one look at Crystal and identify her past history. When I got to know her mum, she was thin but not unhealthily so. It must be providence.

* solscenic 11 ig 798605 from www.earthwatch2.org

(736) A woman above Rubies

Fourteen years ago we found a harassed insurance agent operating out of a rented single storey house. She rushed between housekeeping, attending to her young children and making ends meet. Her car was old and she felt ashamed of the dirt and grime in her tiny abode. She was hard-working and a fighter. More than that, she had an unswerving faith in her God.


Today I sat in her shiny new house that is decorated with quiet taste. I feel comfortable with the homey atmosphere. Two good quality new cars are parked in front of the neat house. I marvel at how God has blessed a woman who helped herself.  It is the goodness of God who led her to many high-valued clients. It is good will that led her early clients to referred her to other clients. It is her integrity, attention to details and fast response that brought wealth.


She is at the pinnacle of her profession, a much honoured woman. Yet she humbly chauffeurs the elderly who need help in getting out of their houses. She opens her beautiful house to host functions. She offers hospitality to those who have needs. She reminds me of the woman in Proverb 31.

* flower01ne4 from allthingscool.wordpress.com

(735) Counting her blessings

I met up with a friend from years ago. She just recovered from a urinary operation. A few days after we met, she went to visit her sister-in-law who had double kidney failure. We were very surprised, since the patient was very athletic. That women would play tennis every Monday and Wednesday. She swims for an hour every Tuesday and Thursday. On Fridays she dances. One Saturday she picked up her daughters from piano lessons, they walked into the house and she collapsed at the door way into the sitting room. The very next day, she was on dialysis. The active and seemingly healthy woman was only forty three years old.

My friend shuddered when she related her sister-in-law's shocking collapse. She said her little operation was nothing. She has recovered fully, touch wood. Compared to her sis-in-law, she is very fortunate. After all, she is all of nine years older than she who has to be hooked up to a machine every alternate day. All of us could find blessings to count on, if we choose the correct perspective. My friend counts her health as a blessing that money could not purchase. Her sister-in-law could choose to feel blessed that she is not facing a life-threatening condition. She would live long enough to see her daughters grown. With a little care and pluck, she would be there at there graduations and weddings.

 As for me, I am thankful that there is internet connection where I live, as my children all flown away from the nest, I have readers to write for. I am particularly grateful for friends and family who kept supplying me books and magazines to read, so that I can blog about them.

(734) My provider

My provider

When my children were young, there was one day that I was literally down to my last dollars.


Closing my eyes now, I can still see myself digging out every coin I had in my purse. I had less than three dollars. After counting out my bus fare to and from work, I did not have enough money left for my lunch.


I remember tears coming to my eyes as I prayed for help. Then I switched off the lights downstairs and prepared for bed. Right before retiring, I heard calls from the gate and went down to see who would come so late at night. It was ten fifteen.


My husband's colleagues came in and bought two bottles of vitamin C with cash. That one hundred and twenty dollars tide us over until my pay cheque cleared. We had a little stock in the cupboard to sell to neighbors and friends, it was a way to earn a few dollars.


God is a present help in times of need. It is one thing to read of others' answers to prayers. It is quite another to go through what I have experienced.

* 7art-00006 incredible-orange-flower from 7 art-screensavers.com

(733) Flags

The other day I was travelling down the old way. I am definitely spatially challenged. My husband reassured me and said that if I should decide to go back and use the highway, follow the green signs. But stick to the blue signs if I want to use the old road. It seemed silly that I have not noticed the color code before.

Since traffic was sparse, we actually went the entire way using the old road. I saw factories flying thread bare flags. Some are even worn to shreds by the weather. There ought to be some rules against folks flying flags day and night year round. It is not respecting our country to do that. Someone I know has relatives running a motorcycle shop in a rural town, the owner dug out his old flag before National day. He was stunned when his customers (of all three races) in the shop told him not to put it up. In the end he walked up and down the road surveying if there are more shops flying the flags or not. Apparently more were not flying that year. So he gave in and kept the flag rolled up in his drawer.

In schools prefects would raise the flag every mornings and the security guard would lower it in the evening before sunset. We know that Japanese factories do that too like clock work. What impressed me is that some American families raise the Star and Stripes every morning in front of their house for as long as the war lasts in the Middle East. That is patriotism!

(732) Perfect recall

Throughout my life, I have come across three individuals who could retain fully what they hear at will.

I met the first one during my first summer vacation. He was a boy of eleven years old. While he was playing with a Matchbox car, someone read an entire page from the Britanica Encyclopaedia. It took a while to recite it at a normal conversational speed, I assure you. After that the huge volume was placed on my lap. With my finger at the first line first word, I followed as the eleven year old recited from memory word for word what was just read. Unbelievable , isn't it?

Seventeen years later, I was reading a Ladybird reader to my daughter, Heidi, while Cassandra was visiting. Heidi, who loves stories, was paying full attention. Cassandra, a child addicted to TV, wasn't. After reaching a stopping point, I turned to Cassandra and asked,"What did Aunty just read?" I was expecting her to give me a two sentence summary, proving she did half listen to me. Imagine my surprise when she repeated word   for word (without a single mistake) of the five pages I just read. It was Story Time for Seven Year Old, there were many paragraphs in one page as the print was small.

This year, Heidi is college bound. I just found that my new friend Veronica cannot erase what she stored from a conversation. Every detail, names, ages, occupation, likes, dislikes, ... would be recorded in that database brain of hers. Oh dear! She sounds like a one woman FBI squad.

The interesting part is: the eleven year old boy was severely dyslexic. Cassandra had a learning disability, she could not associate an object with its function. And Veronica still displays signs of learning disability as an adult. It does seem that when a person is born with any disadvantage, very often God would compensate with a gift or two. What a merciful and loving God!

* coral from www.aboutmyplanet.com

(731) The day before Good Friday

Everyone has heard about Christmas. Most of us think of bunnies when "Easter" is mentioned. Have you heard about "Maundy Thursday"? Have you wondered what "Maundy" means?

According to my knowledgeable friend, "Maundy" came from the word money. Not any money, but money handed to parishioners by the King. Many years ago, the King of UK would attend a church service on the Thursday before Good Friday. At the end of that service, the King would personally hand out a coin each to his subjects at his church.

In modern times, the Queen of  UK would honour a group of ordinary people who had contributed to society on Maundy Thursday. These people are not nominated by politicians. None of them are well known. Each year coins that are not legal tender are minted to be awarded to them. The number of award winners is twice the age of the Monarch. For instance, when the Queen is eighty years old, that year she honours one hundred and sixty people.

I find that very interesting!

(730) Who moved their cheese?

While visiting my husband's business friend, we discussed about migration. Our friend is a business man in his thirties. His maternal uncle migrated to Australia. While it is a wonderful country to stay in, the working opportunities for a man approaching fifty are limited. This uncle of his ended up running a small shop offering goods(daily necessities)  like Seven Eleven. His auntie is a teacher, she could only part-time as a substitute teacher. To this family, their living standard dropped significantly. The only good thing is that their children received excellent education for very little amount of tuition. It is interesting that every member of this family chose to become Australian citizen. They did not mind living on one third of their assets - when they convert their cash to take over, the exchange rate is almost 3 to 1 favoring Australia.

For my husband and I, we have missed all our boats. Our friends are still leaving, church members are either going or praying about it: mainly considering Canada. While the highly educated are migrating, the poor poured in from Indonesia and every other poor nation. Others still see my birth place as a land filled with gold. I suppose it is all a matter of perspective. We have warm weather, excellent food, friendly people, granted the traffic is congested, folks being stressed up in the city; it is still a nice place to live in. For those who have left, very few actually return. As to whether they are really happy staying in their adopted land, only the nearest and the dearest would know!

(729) Brain damage

There was one particular year I volunteered to help a brain-injured child.  The parents followed the Glenn Doman method and that involved a fair amount of physical therapy. The child concerned was an eleven year old  girl. We call her Penny here.

Penny was unable to learn to talk because in her brain the speech center was affected. Other than that she was very intelligent and could communicate very well using her own mode of hand signals. Once a day I walked to her house, which was a few streets away from my house. I normally take her head in the therapy while the maid would take one arm and one leg. One of her sisters then would take  the other arm and leg. Penny would lie face down on a table like the doctor's examination table. The objective of this therapy was to train the brain in linking the muscles in the following manner: while the head turns right, the right arm and the left leg should be raised. Then alternatively while the head turns left, the left arm and right leg should move upwards and outwards. Penny's mum patiently explained to curious me how important it was for Penny to gain this ability to walk with this all important gait: unless and until she learns to walk thus, she could not speak. There was nothing wrong with her voice box and throat, in other words she was not mute. Her inability to talk arose from damage in  her speech center. Daily they walked her through this exercise four times: once in the morning with family members, once in the late morning with the help of a tutor. When I turned up in the late afternoon we went through it a third time. Then after dinner the family members would perform it a fourth and final time.

Around that time my friend Angeline showed me seven books lent by her friend. Believe it or not, all seven were written by Glenn Doman. I borrowed two and set about reading them thoroughly so as to educate myself further. After all, if I were to give about an hour of my time on all week days, I might as well learn precisely why I am doing it. I found his arguments sound, his theory well researched and his methods rigorous. I found myself fascinated by his many claims.

My helping Penny ended after her mum took her to Australia for a progress check. They could not take her to USA because her father could not leave his business at that particular point of economic instability. And those good folks in US insisted on full parental support. After all there was a long waiting list, so the authorities could and did keep all the fine prints enforced. This offshoot in Australia decided to vary Penny's  program to accommodate her impending puberty. That particular therapy I was involved in helping was removed to make room for a zero gravity exercise which would accomplish the same goal and would work better with her bulk and build.

All these was ancient history as many years had passed by. Now why did I even think of Penny? It was because I saw a toddler crawling in a totally uncoordinated manner which brought Penny's gait to my mind while she did her two mile daily run. Once I was recruited to be a human marker in a vast flat field. Penny was running back and forth between her maid and I with her sibling. Each time she reached me we would do a high five and then I would clap and cheer loudly to encourage her.

Difficult as it was, I actually summoned up the courage to point out to the young mother how her girl was not crawling the way she should. The mum was hardly interested and told me that as long as the child could move, she was not bothered in what the motion entailed. I did try to explain to her the significance in terms of speech and language learning. Anyway it was a total waste of my effort.

A week or so later, my daughter was reading the young mum's blog on motherhood. I looked over my daughter's shoulder and caught a few sentences on how the blogger articulated on how other people dared to presume they knew more about her baby when she was the one and only person who spent almost all her   waking hours with her child. In my heart I thought yes, you have got a valid point there, young woman. But nothing can take the place of age, wisdom and special experience. I hope that I am wrong in my observation and suspicion. Yet if I turn out to be right, this indignant mum would have frustrating years remedying the lack of speech or problem in terms of language learning. Up to this point the child is very quiet. She is running around and hardly looks at people around who tries  to talk to her.

**The above article was written on Oct 22, 2010. This update is added on Jan 28, 2012. Unfortunately, the child has been diagnosed mildly autistic. She has improved tremendously with prayers but it looks like she would require speech therapy to increase her vocabulary further.

* coral reef 1 from oceanworld.tamu.edu

(728) Helping hands

Mirror


As I was listening to my friend Abbie, a picture flashed into my mind. Cassandra, my daughter’s classmate, was rubbing her tear-stained eyes. My daughter folded a few notes into a small plastic bag. With my help, the cash was pinned to Cassandra’s uniform pocket.

Something seemed to click here. I remember repeating the step-by-step instructions: (a) Take out thirteen dollars and pay the form teacher some fee or other. (b) Count the fifty cent change. (c) Put the coins into the plastic bag. (d) Pin the bag to the pocket. (e) During recess, go use the remainder for buying five cloth badges.

My daughter, a seven year old, nodded brightly and promised to help her friend. Why is it one child could take the challenge and the other was reduced to tears and begged her mum to accompany her to school? No, both are intelligent. In fact, Cassandra outscored my daughter in an important government exam years later. Now, looking back, I believe Cassandra had had minor learning difficulty handling multiple step procedure at that age. Facing adults, handling money, dealing with time limit seemed daunting to her because she already had problems dealing with complex sequencing actions.

There and then, I realized that my friend Abbie, looking distressed and vainly trying to tell me why she “freeze” and could not handle a quick-talking salesman by herself, could have been a “Cassandra” thirty years later.

Since the appointment with the salesman was to find out more about the different models and there might be many questions and responses involved, I could not produce a five-step formula. This time, I volunteered to be present and be an emotional support during the meeting.

The face-to-face meeting turned out very well. Another friend, the one who recommended the salesman, already limited the scope of choice by pointing out to the salesman the likely model needed. It is another obstacle crossed. The helper learned new things. The one being helped gained new confidence and she grew. Abbie made a decision and bought a popular car which eases her life considerably.


And thus I begun my quiet work of supporting grown women who still suffer from any lingering learning disabilities.

* coral reefs 01 from time.com

(727) Vows - a dangerous thing to make

It is strange that people make vows after a heart break that affect the rest of their lives.

Paul is a personable young man. He has been an upright church man since his teens and he serves faithfully in his capacity as a guitarist in the music team in his home church. During his pre-university years he was sweet heart to a well-to-do girl. Unfortunately, shortly after she left to study abroad. They managed to keep up their romance with frequent phone calls and vacations in the home country for two years after her departure. Then the calls from abroad lessen. She came back with a handsome young man in tow. Paul was waiting to receive her at the airport. She gave him a nice expensive shirt from abroad and handed him her wedding invitation. He attended her wedding, very much a gentleman.

At that point he turned against all female graduates, vowing never to get involved with any again. Years later he married a girl with minimum high school education. There is nothing against this girl, she is sweet and loyal to him. Only thing is there is no high earning potential  for her since she has little education. He is an engineer with an ambition and both he and his wife like the finer things in life. They often overspend and require rescues from their parents.

Few days back Michael's(my son)  friend returned from overseas and moaned about how girls in our hometown are materialistic and mercenary. He said he must look for a village girl who is simple and innocent. We heard about his failed courtship with a very bright scholar who demanded that he return the same year with her. She wanted to go to work to support her family. He wanted a year to gain some working experience in the country he studied in. And so they parted. To me, it was not meant to be. If a girl is that demanding before marriage, she would be wearing the pants on behalf of her husband after the wedding bells. He was probably very hurt. But the crux of the matter was not the fact that she has an overseas education. It is rather her strong character and the fact that she did not trust him to be faithful to her the remaining year he has overseas. She has some very fix idea that her beloved has to return with her, work for a year and then they get married. If he wrote all female graduates off because of one shrew, he will be the loser himself.

(726) Rilla of Ingleside by L.M.Montgomery

Elizabeth borrowed the entire Anne series home. She asked me if the original Anne book was my favorite, as it is hers. Without thinking I said that I actually like Rilla, the last book, more than the first. And I can't explain why I like it more than Anne of Green Gable.

Of course I like Anne, who wouldn't. But I like Rilla more. Here's why:

Rilla reminded me a lot about my college mates: they all spent most of their days wanting to look nice, find cute dates, keep amusing boyfriends and hardly think beyond tomorrow. At first I was shocked about how they live or rather dream from day to day. Then I learned more about their backgrounds and understand what a blessing it is to be born with silver spoons. They might appear frivolous, talk like bimbos but in actual fact most were better students than they wanted to admit. It was just not too cool to appear serious.

Just like Rilla, those that I befriended often passed when they were tested. Rilla decided to look after a war orphan and set about dirtying her lovely fingers. One of my floor mates chose to double major and spent her senior year working eighteen hour days. Another decided to get married and left to finish her degree in a state university. A few found their parents struggling to pay their tuition with altered financial circumstances, they found summer jobs and worked hard to chip in their bits.

My eyes were wet when I read of Dog Monday waiting valiantly at the rail way station for his beloved master who went to fight the war in Europe. I was sad when I came to the part where Rilla gave the last letter of Walter to Una. Imagine losing the love of one's life, yet Una had no right to grieve in public. Out of all the other books, I did not like Susan Baker, yet her character was so developed in this last book that I found myself having new respect for her.

At an age where my classmates are actually grandmothers, I am still young at heart and read children's books. I certainly hope that I am not the only old fan of Anne in the internet world.

(725) Surviving a Fiancee

My daughter  chose to buy this video, Catch and Release, because of Jennifer Garner. I chose to see it because of the story line.

When Garner's fiancee on screen died before the wedding, she was devastated. Her guardian angels came in the form of three of her deceased fiancee's best friends. Sam and Dennis were sweet to her. Fritz seemed to be a cad. However, Garner gradually fell for the latter.

As Garner delved into her deceased fiancee's finances, irregularities turned up. He had regular income which came from investments as high as a million. He sent monthly maintenance to unknown persons. Garner found that she did not know her fiancee of six years courtship at all. The death was sudden, the unexpected disclosure was more shocking! She weathered through it and made a new life for herself.

Elizabeth and I enjoyed looking at the many moods of Jennifer Garner and her wardrobe. We agreed that she could act well enough to endear herself to hard core audience like us. I normally prefer to read than to watch movies. I would expect more from actresses than pretty faces and stunning figures

After discussing with Elizabeth about the different stages Garner went through, I have to admit that though it looked realistic to me; I actually had  not first hand experience grieving over a boy friend. Would it be easier burying a fiancee than a husband? What say you?

(724) Health is more precious than gold

I have a good friend who is about two years older than me. She has perfect blood pressure, healthy BMI, good blood sugar and cholesterol reading. It seemed that she has perfect health. Unfortunately she had a fall down a few steps while she was mopping the stairs; she ran down a slippery flight of stairs trying vainly to catch a phone call.

For quite a few years she was alright. Lately she has problems with walking long distances. That in itself is not so bad as we are all dependent on cars anyway. The killing part of the problem is that she could not sit in a car for more than ten minutes at a time. Should she do that, she finds that she could not stand up and walk without having her limb buckle under her with no warning.

We are talking about an attractive woman who could pass as a thirty six year old. She wears small size clothing and  are long legged. That image is just not congruent with carrying a walking stick. She went to bone doctor, Chinese physician, chiropractor, nerve specialist, ... you name it, she has tried it. After all, her husband's medical coverage is very generous, given by a fortune 500 company to senior managers and their spouses.

For most of us, it is when we lose our perfect health that we realize how precious it is.

(723) Primitive / Interesting bldg 37

Usually when we see roofing made from plant  source, it is set in equatorial forests.
Fancy seeing it in a first world country! I do realise that this building was from hundreds of years ago.

They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit. Isa 65:21

hangleton mediaval cottage.jpg from wealddown.co.uk

(722) Frightful First World War by Terry Deary

Do you know that a British shell smashed into a trench and killed most of the Germans in it during the Battle of Somme? One German, however, escaped with just a shell splinter in his face. He was Adolf Hitler. He was lucky to survive WW1. Our grand parents were unlucky that he started WW2.

This book was written to reach people who hated studying history. I was fascinated by the simple prose and the childish illustrations. I kind of know that war is ugly, tragic and dirty. But some of the facts that Terry dug up was shocking!

Anyone under the age of 50 should get a copy and find out what happened in the year 1914.

(721) Jack Flint and the Dark Ways by Joe Donnelly

This is a book my friend bought, hoping that her fifteen year old son would read it. Instead I read it first.

It is like a mini version of  The Lord of the Rings. A lot less complex, more readable for younger readers. It talks of time travelling. Individuals were born to possess the ability to time travel to periods of history in different lands to fight evil. Such individuals are called journeymen.

If boys like Narnia, then they would probably like this series. We have Jack Flint and the Redthorn Sword and Jack and the Spellbinder's Curse. I have not read any of the Narnia books for at least six years now. But I seemed to recall that the language of Jack Flint is a little more difficult than that of Narnia.

(720) Visiting a Korean church

Yesterday I met up with an old friend from Silver City. She was privileged to go on a trip to Korea as a guest of a Methodist church there. Quite a few years back she served as a missionary to Vietnam for two years. As she dug up her hard earned savings to pay for the air-ticket, she was very thankful that she was given the opportunity to visit the prayer mountain. But God surpassed her expectation and there was a private sponsor who readily offered to pay for her airfare, insurance and airport tax. She was excited and grateful that she is greatly blessed, highly favoured, and deeply loved by God and those around her.

What impressed me most out of her four hour sharing is that the Koreans have 5 am prayer meetings. My friend's bus driver is an elder of that church and the father of two pastor sons, lived one hour away from his church but turned up for every morning prayer. My mind is boggled by counting time as she was relating the facts. In order to be on time, it looks like this old gentleman gets up at three something in the morning and must be on the road by four am. I want to love God in my actions, but I am far away from this sort of life changing commitment.

She related many testimonies shared verbally as well as in written forms by members of the congregations there. As these good folks prayed and obeyed, many miracles occurred and they were led by God to do great exploits. One concerned how God led them to purchase the piece of land their church stands on today. One day one church brother and his wife were instructed to sell their house and hold the funds to purchase a piece of land on which stands a functioning girls' school. The leading was confirmed and reconfirmed by the couple and others as well. This couple chose to obey. Shortly after, a news item appeared on the newspaper that states the girls' school would shift and the piece of land to be sold. Hence this church was strategically placed to make a solid offer in a timely manner which earned them a well located place to site their church. The obedient couple were much blessed by God financially and other wise later. This is just one tiny testimony among many.

(719) A cultural oddity

My cousin Sylvester is English educated. He happened to find a few baskets of rambutans on hand. Rambutans are hairy fruits (red or yellow skin, translucent sweet flesh with a seed) that don't last long out of a fridge. He called up his sister-in-law and offered to bring a basket by for her and family. This is a very friendly gesture, after all rambutans in season are dirt cheap. We may pay 2 to 3 dollars in the city for a bunch of 60. In the villages, they may be left to rot on the trees. I was shocked when the sister-in-law asked, "Why are you giving me rambutans?"

If anyone were to ask me that question, I would be insulted! I would probably say that it is ok if she does not want it, ten other people would not mind having rambutans delivered free to their homes. But then again I am Chinese educated. If I feel like receiving rambutans would tilt the balance of favors, I would quickly pass a tin of biscuits or a pack of cookies to my rambutan giver.

Sylvester took the accusatory question calmly and answered,"Well! That is a thank you gift to you for helping me to sell some products."

Here lies one difference between Chinese and English educated Chinese. I am Chinese educated, at least for the first 6 years of my education. Therefore in my dealings with people, some things are left unsaid. My cousin is English educated, the same rule does not apply.

My son Kenneth is on break from university. He could appreciate what I was trying to say now, as he has been living among a community of Chinese educated men and women on and off campus for one year now. Starting from 1990s, we are having more and more students (Chinese, Indians or other races) entering Chinese primary schools. English or other language educated Chinese in this country are becoming a rarity.

(718) Home for vacation

A good friend had two daughters. By the time both went abroad for their college education, my friend traded her detached big house for a more manageable condo. As the chicks flew away from the coop, she adjusted her life style and found new activities.


Then the younger girl came back for Christmas break. Believe it or not! Within the short span of eleven months, mother and daughter actually had quite a fair bit of readjustment to make. The baby of the family is grown. The young lady is used to being mistress of her own time, space and life. Mom finds it difficult to let go completely because her darling is within range of control. I suppose both are glad that holiday will soon be over. Then the young one will get her own life back. The older one also will regain a complete control of her domain.

I wrote the above two paragraphs on Jan 6, 2010. Today is Jan 23, 2012( I think). By now, my youngest has flown the coop since September 2011. Personally I have more free time on week days as she lives in her hostel. She comes back every week end. I enjoy not having to produce home cooked meals on a daily basis. I enjoy less laundry to do. More time to read and to reflect about what to write. Hence you find a lot more responses to all kinds of books lately. It is refreshing to find that I have no empty nest syndrome. I actually find it fun to get my own life back after years of motherhood.

* animal103.gif from myspace.com

(717) Forcing children to eat all types of food

There is this neighbour of mine who forces her children to eat vegetables. So far she has been having success with all her three children.


Yesterday I mentioned this fact to a friend. Both of us had to admit that we did not force ours. We choose to encourage instead. Then she asked me if I would do differently now. I answered no.

Since then I have been wondering why would I not change tactic now? It was not an easy question to answer. I perceive that if one forces children to eat things they naturally would avoid, then meal time would mean a stressful time. It may be that if I don't give choices to my children, they may grow up used to being forced to eat things they don't like. Would that carry to other areas of their life? Would they get used to being influenced by others to do what they hate just to buy approval from people they like or love? I have no pet answers to these questions. Therefore it is safer to give myself and the children under my care  the benefit of the doubt. I value well balanced individuals who can say no to others rather than being easily forced to go against their wishes.

* blue flower from herman-uwe.de

(58) Depression 4

Rejection

Can we find a single person who has never experienced rejection?


Under certain circumstances, expert believes that severe rejection may lower one's IQ. There are of course many factors. Parents, circumstances,  siblings, one's in born temperaments, teachers, friends, past experiences ... IQ matters, but emotional quotient matters more. Qualities such as perseverance, ability to focus would count too.

I think of a mother who doted on her only daughter. The latter was either born timid or it could be the growing up under a demanding father that contributes to timidity. There is a neighbor of  this family who adopted a girl. The adoptive mother is single. There is a grandma (mother of the adoptive mum). This adopted girl is a courageous person who is active, able to accept defeat and bounces right back. I suppose we are not supposed to compare children. No two children can be alike. While I sympathize with my friend the first mother, I can't help but note that God did not make any mistake in giving the second girl special qualities. After all, she really needs it to survive under adverse circumstances.

Some people are more resilient than others. Some may be a little more fragile than others. The same thing may happen to two people, one will find a way to overcome while another may be devastated. Some people received hard knocks, and they seemed to be able to stand up again and function right on. Others may get knocked off course for a long while. But one has to go on living, so one finds ways to survive. A few may take the easy way out. But then that too is a solution, though not a commonly accepted one.

* flower.jpg from fidgit.com

(716) The equalizer

Quite a few years ago, an accident happened near a toll gate which involved the spilling of flammable liquids. Probably due to panic management strategy, all four lanes were closed during peak hour Sunday traffic. Lots of cars with plenty of commuters were jammed there on the featureless highway for six hours in the heat of the afternoon.

I won't be surprised that some folks were without drink and food for the entire period. The worst thing no toilet was found within miles. So one family resorted to using mineral water bottles as urinals. We suspected creative people may use umbrella or sarong ( a big piece of fabric sewed as a tube to wrap around the lower body) to act as mobile toilet by the road side grass verge.

This happened again on Saturday (the day before Chinese New Year eve). All cars going north bound from Johore Bharu to Penang experienced congestion. A normal two hour trip took six hours. It was bumper to bumper crawling for hours at a time. Some cars over heated and broke down. Others crawled for hours. Cars parked in two rows on a service road and three deep on the high way itself to enable people to queue up to use the toilets and buy drinks in a Shell petrol station convenient store.

People who drive a $23,000 Kancil may wait in queue with a person who drives a BMW. A passenger of  a cheap van or a Mercedes may resort to peeing by the roadside. This is indeed the great equalizer, all are reduced to humans with our many needs and frailties.

(715) Pain 7

"Foxy" woman - the intellectual temptation

More than twenty years ago, I heard that one wife chose to stop her husband   from continuing his MBA studies. The reason for this drastic measure was due to the fact that one of the MBA classmates was luring her husband into adultery.

I was shocked! It was unthinkable that a white collar working woman with at   least one degree needed to resort to stealing another woman's husband. Granted that the man was tall, good looking, possesses a good job with a bright future. Nothing would take away the bitter taste in the mouth that this man was unfaithful to his wife when presented with a temptation.

That was when I was told that many university students and graduates would moonlight - work as high class call girls to be able to afford all the expensive trappings of being well groomed. There is virtually no difference between a one night stand and an affair which does lead to marriage. These high class ladies of the night obviously serve many married men who strayed.

* animal-threesomes-01.jpg from buzzfeed.com

(714) A car story

The other day I took a taxi in Pahang but it has a Melaka number plate. I asked the driver and he told me how he came to buy the car.

This Proton saga was a 2006 model. The first owner bought it in 2008 at $26,000. For whatever reason, it was stored for quite a while and not used. My taxi driver saw it in a second hand car dealer. All the seats were wrapped up and pristine. The car was unused. The meter showed the car had been driven 3 Km. The asking price was $22,000. Since it was considered a 4-year old car, the potential buyer negotiated the price down to $19,000. He changed the radiator to something that would not overheat too easily, put in a decent radio, and painted the car up to become a taxi. Presto! It became a good work horse that worked well.

By the time I was sitting in this car, he had been using it for almost two years. Apart from changing the timing belt and the normal servicing, the car did not give him any problem. He agreed with me that it was fortune smiling at him the day he saw his car.

(713) Snail Lady /Cat tale 18

Once upon a time, there was a poor fisherman who was an orphan. He often spent the whole night fishing and came home to an empty hut.

Apart from the fact that  he was young and healthy, he had a good voice and loved to sing. While he was catching fish, he could not make much noice or the fishes would be frightened. Therefore, he often sang at home or  while mending fishing nets by the shore.

One day, he came home after spending the whole night fishing. Lo and behold, his meal was cooked and waiting for him in his humble kitchen. He was most surprised but ate with a grateful heart. Next day, he walked to his nearest neighbour and asked if they were so kind as to cook his meal the previous day. No! Nobody did,  they neither had the time nor even thought of doing that!

The next time he went to sea, he made a point of coming back earlier to see who cooked for him. Instead of singing on the way to his hut, he walked quietly and slipped from shadow to shadow. First he heard a young  lady's voice singing from his kitchen. Next he saw a cat curled up next to his door step. Then he saw a pretty young lady busy preparing his simple meal. He back tracked to the well and saw a big conch shell. Remembering a folktale he heard as a young boy, he suspected that the young lady was a form taken by the being in the shell. He hid the shell well and went to introduce himself to his good luck helper.

Being trapped without the shell to return to, the pretty lady stayed and became the fisherman's wife. Years passed. The couple had children and lived happily. One day, one of the grand children asked how did grand father meet grand mother. The old man took out the conch shell to show the grand kids. As fast as a gust of wind, grand mother disappeared with the shell. Along with that, the cat that was deeply attached to grand ma was no where to be found. Then only did they realised that cat was not an ordinary cat. For it was the same cat that the young man saw the day he met his would be wife.

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow the words of this law.

cat-in hello-kitty-clothes1.jpg from catsinclothes.com

(712) Speech Therapy 2

This is a follow up with blog 588. School has started. The mum was sharing about how she was glad that her daughter had a ride that day, hence she need not go through the stressful routine of picking the child up from kindergarten.

I was slightly taken aback with the comment. If the girl is having school phobia, she ought to put up no resistance at going home. I have brought up quite a few children and I have made my share of mistakes. Looking back, I thought Denise's acting up was purely behavioral problems. With the advantage of hind sight, now I tend to think that if I had the clarity of mind to take her for a private evaluation, A lot of the later difficulties could have been avoided.

It is easy to attribute a child's acting up to frustration, and to blame the frustration on the inability to communicate (late speech). If it is indeed the case, then such problems should clear up completely when normal speech is attained. I suppose if the child talks and can express herself well, but still give the parents hell on school runs, both going and returning; I honestly think it is time to go for a professional evaluation without labeling the child in any school system.

It is important to find out what is wrong, then we can have the knowledge to help us overcome precise problems. I honestly think that by burying one's head in the sand and hope that everything will work out with faith and prayers does not solve the underlying problems in every case. Though by saying that, I know I will get shot down in many church circles. Which is why I have a blog to voice my opinions without setting  myself up for target practice! If you find this interesting and helpful, I thank God for the internet and technology.
 

(711) English Cottage / Intere. bldg 36

 It is all one can imagine an English cottage at its best should look like.
I think the garden of Eden would be similarly beautiful.

Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he puts the man he has formed. Ge 2:8

william-outhwaite-ann-hathaways-co from antique-fine-arts.com

(710) The Runaway Bride

I  just watched this movie on TV starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. I really enjoyed comparing the different "weddings" and the different dresses. It seemed that with each successive jilting at the altar, her dresses became nicer and more expensive.

Not able to remember which groom-to-be came first, I counted a mechanic, one that turned a priest, a professor and a football coach. The last one, a journalist, seemed to snare the bride but she bolted again. Being a movie, everyone would expect it to be entertaining. But of course things like that do happen in real life.

It was interesting to note that even the preference of how one likes the eggs to be done has something to do with the psychology of wedding mind set. I like eggs done anyway and would be hard put to choose one style I like best. It is a good thing I do not have the phobia being married in front of a crowd. What about you, would you like to have your eggs scrambled, fried, poached or steamed?

(709) Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

It is a hilarious story alright. If I had not spent a few Christmases in the States, I would probably be wondering about what the big deal is. But I have seen the hustle and bustle in the mall. I have seen the floor full of beautiful but torn gift wraps on Christmas mornings. It sure was a mad house and a time when everyone seemed to burn money and draw from rather deep pockets.

Luther and Nora Krank decided to skip Christmas celebrations and opted for a ten-day Carribean cruise. They had to give up their wonderful plans when their daughter popped up and called from Miami that she was bringing her fiancee home for Christmas. Luther borrowed a tree from a neighbor. He ended up almost being booked for burglary. He sneaked out to place Frosty, a huge plastic snow man, on his roof but ended up tied by his feet dangling from the roof. The firemen and ambulance were called. He first antagonized his neighbors by  refusing to put up Frosty. Next he entertained them by almost getting fatally wounded.

Nora run around to get her impromptu party ready like a chicken with its head chopped off. Finally all that is well ended well. The entire street rallied by turning up to welcome their own Peace Corps to Peru. On top of that, Police, Firemen and Ambulance personnel came in full force. They have their beloved daughter back for Christmas. She brought back a Doctor fiancee who is handsome and charming.

What I like most was the fact that Luther and Nora gave their cruise package to their neighbor who may be having their last Christmas together. Bev Scheel had cancer for the third time. Walt badly needed time off from fighting the big C with his wife. In fact this is the spirit of Christmas, the giving with no string attached. It is in loving others and giving what we can to help. It does not have to be costly presents.

(708) A Feline Retriever

Recently I met a teenager and heard about her cats. Since she was young, she had quite a few. One of them is called Bow. You see, on his  back there is a patch that looked like a bow. He is a most energectic animal, always ready to play. When he was a kitten, our teenager was in  Grade school then. There was one year she was alone in the house every schoolday morning. All her siblings were in the morning session. Out of boredom, she set out to train her dog to fetch.

Her dog, Duke, loves sitting in front of the TV more than any other activities. Playing catch the ball, no Sir! You must be kidding! So it worked out that Bow was the one who obliged by catching it and bringing the ball back. With daily practice, Bow became pretty good at catching. Whether the throw was high or low, he caught it with ease. It got to the point that the gardening father requested that they change the venue of the throw and catch session.The running around wore out patches of  grass.

The proud owner has Bow's pictures in her handphone. One of the recent ones showed a fat and sleek cat. No one has the time to play active games with him anymore. Guess Bow has to find other things to do.

- In you, my god, I trust. -
domestic-cat.jpg from animals.nationalgeographic.com

(707) Grass roof / Interesting bldg 24

 I wonder if this is a toy or a real house. Would you like to live in a house with a grass roof? I suppose technology would be able to ensure that the interior is weather proof.

Abraham lived in tents, ... For he was looking forward to the city with foundation, whose architect and builder is God. Heb 11:9

grass-house-lg.jpg channel4.com

(707) Personal shopper

The last batch of recycling stuff brought five hand bags (pocket books as some Americans call them). One of them was incredibly sweet, pink with some embroidery. They were all rather tiny, catering to the whimsy teenage crowd. I persuaded Elizabeth to offer it to Serena, a teenager in church. Somehow I just am definite she would like it.

Elizabeth came back and told me Serena loved it. As soon as Elizabeth took it out of her back pack, she could see Serena drooling over the bag. Elizabeth said the grin on Serena's face could probably light up five light bulbs when she took it from Elizabeth. Then the latter asked me,"How did you know that Serena would like it?"

Now that is a million dollar question! I don't exactly know how to answer that. It was quite fun being a watcher on the side line. I have been watching all the young girls graduate from wearing the dresses chosen by their mothers. Serena and Marina are sisters. They used to dress alike until Marina hit puberty and started to sport designs that speak of her own personality. Then I had a more interesting time observing how Serena starting to dress up two years later. Obviously no two teenagers dress alike unless they are trying to copy someone. I guess subconsciously I have been building up a dressing profile for Serena. Hence when I dug out that pink bag from a huge bag of recyclables, it spoke to me and I straight away thought of Serena.

It is a little too late for me to discover this talent to have any commercial application. Had I found it in my twenties, I should join retailing and make myself into a buyer or a personal shopper for the rich and famous.

(706) Workmanship / Interesting bldg 32

Look at all the fine details of wood work! Very lovely and most proportionate lines. A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Then Moses said to the Israelites,"See, the Lord has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him  with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts --to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze ... Ex 35:30-32

small-cottage-living-carmel.jpg from busyboo.com

(705) "Difficult" boy

There was this family of five living in a block of apartments near a school. Father worked hard at bringing home the bacon. Mum was a homemaker. The eldest boy studied in the school next to his home.

When the time came for child number two to start school, things were not straight forward as expected. For one week in a row, number two boy walked home on his own as soon as his mother went home. After sending him back to school repeatedly, the poor mother ended up waiting in school until dismissal time. One week was up, the headmistress of the school suggested that this number two boy be transferred to a school three miles away, making it difficult for the boy to escape home. Not knowing what else to do, the parents complied.

And so number two boy was sent to a strict Chinese primary school. There he remained and the poor mother and the youngest boy had to accompanied him daily into the second month. By then all the other mothers were released from guard duties. Out of desperation, this mother went to the headmistress to ask for advice.

The headmistress was a believer who asked God for wisdom. In this case she discerned that the mother had a lot of grievance against her middle child. The child in question was not timid, he was tall and big for his age. For that matter, the boy was good looking and confident. There fore the wise headmistress advised the mum to stop complaining and scolding the child and to start looking for opportunity to praise the boy instead. The father was to give the middle child special attention. Since the boy loved to be taken out to eat, the father was willing to take him out without his brothers once a week.

A few months later, after the middle child was finally convinced that his parents loved him. He told his mother that there was no need for her to stay and wait for him at school anymore. He remembered that his headmistress promised him a present when he finally "grew" up ( able to attend school without his mum and brother being present), he went proudly to the HM's room to claim his gift. A few years later he became a student leader in school.

(704) Prada!

A few years back Elizabeth picked up a second hand wind breaker. It is made of a transparent grey material, has long sleeve and a snug fitting hood. It is so thin that one can fold it into 2 cm cube little block. She keeps it and uses it because of its compact nature as well as its function as a rain coat.

A month back she wore it for the umpteenth time in the freezing university library. A friend sms about dinner arrangement. Elizabeth handed her hand phone to a companion and that sharp eyed gal exclaimed "Prada!" when she noticed the little brand label sewed at the cuff.

Last Sunday was the first time Elizabeth took her varsity bag to church, hence when it got cold out came the comfy grey windbreaker! Our fashionable dame, Veronica, straight away turned Elizabeth's wrist to reveal the little inconspicuous label. "PRADA!!!" Veronica exclaimed and it took her a few moments to have this piece of fact sinking in. After all, Elizabeth is one of the more practical females who does not pay that much attention to brand names. I suppose it must be that Veronica had not seen any new or old Prada items in our upwardly mobile new wealth crowd in church.

To be honest, if I had not watched the show "Devil wears Prada", I probably would be blissfully unaware that there is such a brand on Planet earth.

(703) Mirror mirror on the wall

Consider:

1. A thirteen year old Indian girl who powdered her face until she looked like moldy chocolate.
2. An Indonesian maid who over applied whitening cream until her skin ended with blotches.
3. Thai soap opera is populated with fair skin Amerasian stars.
4. Malay maidens who marry light skin Chinese to begat fair skin kids.


There seems to be a regional desire to appear white. Was it because South East Asians look up to their former colonial masters as being somewhat superior to them?

* hm-queen-elizabeth-ii.jpg from sassyconservative.co.uk

(702) June

I have quite a few friends called June. There are two that I am particularly fond of. One I knew briefly in college. Years later I heard that she and her husband settled in Rhodesia. Pardon me if I am not quoting the current politically correct name.


The other I have known practically all my life. She is just one of those dear souls whom one wakes up at four am to give thanks for. June in Rhodesia had two sons. June in my country has three. They do not look similar in appearance. However, if I could get a glimpse of their spirit or soul, there must have been some similarities.

They are warm, motherly, caring and they would go the second mile. It is uncanny that both of them took me to new places. The childhood friend, June, used to organise trips to visit nearby places. June of Rhodesia took me to a historically important place. The earlier trips opened up my horizons. The latter trip enabled me to gain an insight into myself. They are equally important but in different ways.

Looking at her choice of country to live in, June of Rhodesia has devoted her life to humanitarian purposes. I wonder if they (June and hubby) were aide workers, UN personnel, missionary, or bible translators. Nevertheless, they chose to live for others than enjoying the affluent and cosmopolitan life style of North America.

My childhood buddy lives among the fleshpots. She collects all kinds of beautiful things and one can relax and enjoy oneself with these objects all around in her opulent mansion. She is like a healing balm among the wounded in war zone. Except there is no real war in the place where we live. Yet in life's battle, one could be wounded and is not conscious of it. Then along come our modern Florence Nightingale, she would tend to the hidden wounds without one being aware of it. Months later, the insensitive one would have a rare insight and finally realise what she did earlier. I was privilege to have been her patient many a time.

Here I want to pay tribute to all the Junes of this world, be it a healer of the heart or the nations.

* children heart.jpg from surgechurch.org

(701) An Over comer

The Extraordinary Courage of Cornelius Abraham by Bob Greene in Reader's Digest March 2001.

Cornelius's birth mother allowed her boy friend to abuse and torture her second son Lattie until death. At the post mortem, the poor boy had pneumonia, a broken collar bone and a broken pelvis. There was repeated beating, burning with lighted cigarette and a hot iron. The deceased was stuck many times with sewing needles, he was dunked in scalding water until the flesh was raw. The boy was four years old.

Cornelius had undergone some of the same torture himself, but somehow he had survived. Although he was not able to stop his brother from being murdered, he was able to stand as a witness in court to convict the offenders. After the two perpetrators were locked up, Cornelius went into foster care. He finished secondary school and was accepted at Northern Illinois University. Much of his healing had come with the help of the YMCA Network for Counselling and Youth Development of Greater Chicagoland. His foster parents were Ingra and Dwayne Cooper.

Whatever Cornelius achieved, it is done in spite of his tragic past. It showed the resilience of his spirit. Until he was eight, all circumstances were against him. Those who were supposed to love and care for him actually turned against him and his brother. Cornelius Abraham is the proof that hope is always there for an over comer.

(700) The Fight to Free My Son by J.Milgaard with P.Edwards

This story is found in the book section of  the November 2000 issue of Reader's Digest.

It chronicles a 22 year struggle of a mother who did not give up trying to free her son from prison and clear his name. In 1969, David Milgaard was into soft drug experimentation and free love. Unfortunately he was in the wrong spot at the wrong time, his next mistake was to trust the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He was charged with rape and murder, was found guilty at the tender age of 16.

The Milgaard family worked at writing to politicians and officials. They offered reward to witnesses in trying to find the real murderer. They talked to ministers and ultimately the Prime Minister of Canada. Many people helped too. There was a candle light vigil held outside the hotel where the Prime Minister was to make a speech.

In May 1999 David Milgaard was awarded with US$6.7 Million in compensation. Only he knew what happened in prison those 22 years when he was wrongfully incarcerated. It must have been terrible to suffer through all that when he was innocent of the heinous crime. One parallel I can think of is Joseph of the Old Testament who was imprisoned because his mistress was an unsuccessful temptress.

(699) Cat in the land of milk and honey

When my family was living in a northern city, we used to have fellowship group meetings in the Dillon's home. Mrs Dillon came from Thailand and she cooks divinely. Thinking of all the delicious treats she served, my mouth automatically salivates. Oh food glorious food!

There was a family cat. It looked like a black widow, completely black and very glossy fur. The first time we visited, all of us were told that it is not a friendly cat. Apart from the person that feeds it, no one is exempt from its scratches. As a result, though some of us would talk to her, nobody had tried to pet it. Over the years, I have noted a few habits of that cat. Pardon me that I could not remember its name. It is in Thai and It meant something like 'the pretty one'.

The pretty cat likes to watch CNN news. Whenever my husband arrived early, we would see her sitting like an empress in front of the TV. Otherwise, unless Mrs Dillon was serving Thai Laksa, the cat would disappear before the crowd turned up. Before ten thirty, the cat would return and wait for the guest to vacate her usual seat. She would simply sit there and stare at the unlucky usurper. Soon the Dillons would chuckle and expect the guest to give way. Let me tell you, it was most unerving to be stared at by a big, fat black cat.

One night, we talked about a news item and looked for that day's newspaper. Oh dear! The front page was torn to shreds. Apparently, that morning Mr. Dillon was grouchy and scolded the pretty cat. As soon as the newspaper came, she sharpen her claws on the front page. You see, she knows that Mr. Dillon was the only one who reads the English newspaper. Mrs Dillon may speak fluent English but she does not read English newspaper. The Dillon children love TV and computer but hardly read. That was the cat's normal way of getting  back at the master who does not treat her like a princess. Mrs Dillon, being a very gentle person, would never raise her voice or utter a cross word at people or cat.

As long as we speak gently and treat the cat as a human child, it behaves itself.

- Father, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.-

cat-funny-tongue.jpg from 2funnycats.com

(698) Chickens' friend / Cat tale 13

When we were living in Silver City, we used to have chickens in the garden.

There was an orange cat that would sashay into the midst of the many chickens and feed on what I threw out. The amazing part is that the cat would leave the chickens alone, and the chooks would behave exactly as if they did not see the cat.

Chickens are very fond of water melon rinds on a hot day. They would peck at my half water melon with the flesh all scooped out until all we see is a paper thin green skin. They would happily peck at their dessert while the orange cat would make short works of my fish head, bones, tail and skin. Now, I don't think the cat was a stray. It looked eminently respectable and walked like she owned my  garden. Her fur was well groomed and she looked well fed. Well, don't ask me why she would condescend to come to my place and eat with my chickens!

Just maybe cats may be social animals. It was probably more fun to have eating companions than to eat alone in her mistress' home.

-  God woos us with his everlasting kindness. -

cat 069.jpg from funlingo.com

(697) Feed back

I was overwhelmed by the number of page views recorded yesterday: 403.
375 from US
  26 from Japan
    8 from Philippines
    5 from Germany
Thank you, my readers!

134 Upbringing is still on top of the list
575 Hide and Seek by James Patterson
576 Jack and Jill by James Patterson
592 saving faith by David Baldacci
571 Supernatural
554 Kiss the Girls by James Patterson
647 The Return of Rafe MacKade by Nora Roberts
582 Buying a property in old age
160 Upbringing 20
374 Interesting building 62

Out of ten popular blogs, five of them are about books. I am pleasantly surprised to think that with internet and cable, satellite TV, folks still read.

(696) Sanctuary / Interesting bldg 25

 Whoever chose the site of the house did a good job. There is nothing unusual about the structure. But the shaded green fore court makes it look like a sanctuary.

Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? Ps 15:1

house in the woods-thumb-525xaut mocoloco.com

(695) Floating home/ Intere. abode 28

 Which is more exciting, living in a boat or a caravan? That is up to individual preference, I suppose. But I know that the safest place for me to be is position myself in the centre of God's will.

Direct my footsteps according to your word Ps 119:133

House Boat in Kerala.jpg www.tensionnot.com

(694) A Nun's daughter by Paul Grondahl

This article was found in the March 2001 issue of Reader's Digest. Quite an unconventional topic!

All of us are quite used to hearing about the devastating statistics Aids created in Africa alone. When my family went to visit orphanages in northern Thailand, it was not unusual that the orphans lost one or both parents to Aids. Poor hill tribe girls were sold or lured into the flesh trade in Bangkok or the southern towns. Some do survive and return home to the north, only to have children and die way before their time.

Here we find an ordinary devout Catholic girl of Italian descent, Mary Ann, who struggled with her vocation. She joined the Sisters of Mercy as a novice at age seventeen. Ten years later she left with the intention to meet the right man, get married and have children. It was not to be, she took her final vows after 1979. Her close boy friend, Mike, actually came to the service.   I don't even attempt to understand her choice! It is difficult enough for her to decide to choose a religious life. I wouldn't expect Mike to understand and support her. Yet he apparently accepted her choice very well.

Then she went on to serve God. Through the years, she was fulfilled and yet there was a certain ache she could not define. When Barbara arrived in the Farano House, she was spellbound by the lovable child. We have a child whose mother was dying of Aids and whose father was in prison. Barbara was HIV positive. In the Catholic sanctuary, she was well loved. Mary Ann first applied and became Barbara's foster mother with the permission of the order. Later she adopted Barbara. In a few short years, HIV turned into Aids and the little girl passed on. In the little girl's memorial service, Bishop Hubbard said,"Barbara's is truly a fantastic love story. A triumph of the human spirit and the conquest of goodness over the forces of ignorance, fear, sickness, suffering and even death."

It just seemed that Barbara and Mary Ann were meant for each other. Against a backdrop of ordinary lives and difficult circumstances, theirs were the silver and golden threads high lighting what God could do with us when we surrender ourselves into his loving and capable hands.

(693) Country Estate /Interesting bldg 26

 Wouldn't we want to own this country estate? Yet woe to the person who owns it but has no other means to upkeep it. One could turn it into a hotel. Another could sell it. Once he sells it, he could no longer stay in it. Also we don't know how many miles it is from the nearest high way or the closest train station.

He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. Lk 1:53

1-Chesters-Country-House-lg--gt full channel4.com

(692) Linux

I have heard about Linux for many years. All I knew is that we can download this free operating system from the internet. Then a person has to program some to customize it to his or her needs.

In the March 2001 issue of Reader's Digest, I read about the creator of Linux: Linus Torvalds. He wrote Linux when he was 21 years old in Helsinki, Finland. He gave it away free. On top of that, he continues to find time to moderate and help a friendly group of on-line folks to direct and expand the free ware further. I find that mind boggling. He was married with two daughters. No where in that article did I find that he was financially free. In fact he still worked at a full time job when the author Fergus Bordewich wrote about him in 2001.

Is he the most generous man in this world? Or are the best things in life often given away free? I certainly feel there is something akin to this in that salvation is given to each of us free. Jesus offered his life up to reconnect every person on earth throughout history to God the father. It is free, I don't have to earn it. Yet, in the days and years that follow my acceptance of this forgiveness, I am still counting my cost. In fact, it is in discerning God's will that I decided to make full use of my writing skills to tell you about me, my family, my hometown, and about God.  

(690) The Manager who couldn't write - Amy Tan

Amy Tan was a business writer before she turned to fiction. She was more in charge of account management while her partner wrote. She tried to persuade her partner to let her write but was not successful. Out of frustration, she quit.

It was tough in the beginning. She persevered with as much as 90 hours a week taking on as many assignments as a freelance technical writer. Working hard to prove her ex-partner wrong, she came up with million-copy sales of The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses.

This is one of the six inspiring stories published in Reader's Digest Jan 2006.

(689) Opening eyes by Michael Amendolia

This article was found in Reader's Digest Jan 2006. I am very impressed by the revolutionary low-cost and fast method of removing cataract assembly style to restore sight brought by Dr. Sanduk Ruit to North Korea.

My mother went to a private clinic for her cataract removal in her sixties and it cost her about three thousand dollars twelve years ago. Two years later, she paid about four thousands for the other eye. I can sympathize with folks who are too poor to be able to afford the operation.

Dr Ruit developed this new method with Dr. Fred Hollows. They managed to shave off US$60 off the price of the intra-ocular lens to about US$5 each. Ruit perfected a "suture-less, self-sealing" cataract surgery technique while performing 75,000 operations in Kathmandu and throughout the Himalayas. This quick surgery costs as little as US$20 per patient. In a poor country like North Korea, it means people who are legally blind could regain their sight after undergoing the operation.

(688) Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende

It is a story of a love-crazed girl risking her life to go searching for her lover. It is not a new tale! What is new is the setting. Eliza grew up in Chile and she went to California during the initial gold rush. In one novel, we read of an English family, life in Valparaiso, adventure in California, and much about the life of a Chinese physician in Canton, Hong Kong and San Francisco.

Much has been written about black slavery in America. This is the first time I read about human trafficking of young Chinese girls in China town, San Francisco during that era. I suppose that is happening still in many parts of the world even today. Human trafficking crosses nations and races and cultures. My husband and an Indian man witnessed a few brawny men surrounding a long distance bus, making sure a crying girl stayed on that bus that would take her up north to a border town that is notorious for the flesh trade. While one man was nudging the distressed girl up the bus, before the other men arrived, the two bystanders asked her if she knew this man. She nodded yes through her tears and told them to leave her. Even though that particular building (bus depot) has been decommissioned, I still think of that incident whenever I travel past it.

Eliza was fortunate that she survived many years on the gold trail dressed as a young man. The only other story that come to mind is Mu Lan. Both are highly capable and resourceful females, ahead of their times.

(687) Helping strangers

Time flies. Counting from tomorrow, it will be exactly two weeks to Chinese New Year. My husband went shopping for CNY bargains. He came back rather late, I was expecting him to say he went to two or three supermarkets.

He met an old lady asking for help. Apparently, her son's car failed and he accompanied the tow truck to the mechanic's. My honest and not very suspicious husband took her and her grand daughter, a toddler, home. I think I would at most part with some taxi fare than allowing a stranger into my car.

Recently, we have heard of house breakers coming with a lorry with a small child sitting beside the driver to empty houses which owners went on vacation. Neighbors hardly know each other, some folks who rent houses move often. Most house holders see a small child and assume a family man mover is legitimate. And the interesting part is that they come in bright day light and confidently quot the tenant's name.

Anyway, my dear husband made another friend. He confidently believe that no criminal would target him with elaborate hoax as he drives a budget car. For once I am grateful that he is not going round town in an expensive model!  

(686) Night Smoke by Nora Roberts

With a single formula of setting two people with great sexual chemistry together to love, fight and reconcile, Roberts has a winning patent to command hordes of readers. I guess the bottom line that puts such books on the best seller's list is the happy ending.

Here is another great story between a high flying CEO and a rough, tough arson investigator. It was fire that brought them together. There was a paid pyromaniac and a trusted corporate manager that pilfer company funds.

Usually I like reading books more than watching movies. But looking back, it seemed that her movies were well made. Better than most, anyway.

(685) Snow falling on Cedars by David Guterson

It is not often that a first novel becomes a best seller. But I can see why Snow falling on Cedars became an over night hit.

Before this book, I did know that there were naturalized Japanese in the United  States. I even read of their internment during Second World War. I never imagine them planting strawberries in Washington state. This book showed me their struggle to survive in America by slogging on the fields and risking their lives catching fish. Racism is nothing new to those whom grew up in my country. Those who came earlier often would give a hard time to those that turned up later. A brown skin person might prefer another brown skin person over a yellow skin person. Similarly, parents of a Chinese may object more to an Indian suitor than a Caucasian. Well, not many people are truly color blind to skin colors.

I like the way Guterson built on the childhood crush between Hatsue and Ishmael. But it was not to be, she was a beautiful Japanese descent girl. He was a white American. The aggression of imperialistic Japan reduced the possibility of a mixed marriage in the era to zero. Along with a deep, sustained but rejected love of the town newspaper owner, we have a land dispute that spanned two generations. As a reader, I floated up and down with all the emotional swings the author wove together. But for the hunch and intellectual deduction as well as generosity of Ismael, Hatsue's husband could and would have been sentenced to death. Ishmael did the right thing to share the evidence with Hatsue. I suppose his love is true and unselfish, he placed the happiness of his beloved above all else. Yet, by saving Hatsue's husband would probably put her out of his grasp for always. On a suspended sad note, the saga ended.

(684) The young man and the sea-Rodman Philbrick

Books by this author: Freak the Mighty
                                 Max the Mighty
                                 The Fire Pony
                                 REM World
                                 The Last Book in the Universe

What I have in hand is "The Young Man and the Sea" published by Scholastic Inc. Yeah, most of us knows "The Old Man and the Sea." These two are different books by different authors.

Come to think of it, I don't remember borrowing any Scholastic books from the Silver City Public Library. Up until today, I have read three Scholastic books. All three are good in different ways. Wish I had come across books like that fifteen years ago. I had to trawled through hundreds of books to find stories that would interest my children and the stories must have some embedded messages that I want them to catch. If they have caught it, a simple question would elicit answers that I was looking for.

If not, I would steer conversation towards my desired topics. Before I pick up or drop off the child I want to talk to, I would have thought of a launching off topic that relates to the here and now of that child. Then having him or her as a captive audience in the car, I must achieve my goal within the ten minutes of that transport run. It was challenging to open the topic I had in mind, hop onto a book I know he or she had just read, ask leading questions that spur learning and application. Often the concluding thought would have to wait for the return run.

Whether this story mentioned is real or a tall tale, it made an exciting read. I think any thoughtful parents could use it to talk about character building. I know that salvaging a sunken boat has no relevance in an inland city. But the qualities that come with the task had universal significance.

Off hand I think the task demanded: perseverance,
                                                       hard work,
                                                       resourcefulness,
                                                       sacrifice,
                                                       willingness to ask adults for help,
                                                       ability to ignore ridicule from opposing camps,
                                                       ability to divide a huge project into bite size chunks,
                                                       willing to get one's hand or body dirty,
                                                       ... .
Are not these all qualities that any discerning parents would love to inculcate into our children?
                                                                                                         

(683) Security at home

My friend lives in a 2.8 Million dollar property while my little abode is worth less than 500 thousands. Big difference, right?

Life is such that I often find something to laugh about. After I realized that by opening my door to my family members, any of them could leave house keys in the cars. From that moment on, I will demand to view their keys before I open the door. Often they have their hands full carrying things. This tyrant would wait and would not relent unless I can see that the house keys come in. Otherwise whoever it is would be forced to go back to the car to take out the house keys there and then.

My friend, however, has her own routine. Every night, before she goes to bed; she would go to the key holders and count the different sets of house keys. Unless she gets the right number, the owner of the missing set would be forced to go out to retrieve it. As we can see, the lack of security affects everyone. Whether one lives in a mansion or a humble abode, nobody can afford to carelessly leave house keys in parked cars outside the house to invite burglar or robber into the house!

Ten years ago there was hardly any condominium that is gated and guarded. Now even old neighborhoods are forming committees to block extra entrances or exits to place 24 hour guards on limited access points. When I was in High school, we were studying about the chasm that divided the rich and the poor in India. It looks like while wealth came to my country, the poor are getting steadily poorer. Some who have nothing to lose simply turn to crime.

(682) Staying on

We went to Chiangmai recently. It was a good time to visit this place as the weather was pleasant.


It was interesting to note that the first shop we visited was run by two Indian brothers. We went in to browse as there were cloths of lovely colours and sheen. We had no intention of purchasing as we wanted to look around to see more of what were offered. The proprietor was courteous and helpful. He showed shawl after shawl of different price range and design. In the end we did make a few purchases.


My friend actually made a few outfits there within the short time we were there. The tailor was a Nepalese born in Myanmar. Since his entire family was in Thailand, they must have naturalized. Prices were unbelievably low. I guess labour is cheap there. Living standard was relatively low. We chose a guest house own by a Dutch man. As we were within walking distance of the night bazaar, we strolled along night after night. One night we even bought a long skirt from a stall owner who is a white woman.


Being a tourist destination, I am not surprise to see a lot of white visitors. Yet I am taken aback by the number of foreigners who manage to stay on and actively make a living there serving the other tourists.

* tourist with camera CoolClips from dir.coolclips.com