(1291)Wasp Nest

When I was a preschooler, I asked my dad why did he removed all wasps' nest, but left a bird nest built under the eaves alone. We lived in one unit of a long row of wooden houses back then. My dad explained that wasps stung people, therefore we do not want any wasps living in close proximity. Birds are friendly creatures. We should be highly honoured if wild birds chose to nest next to our house. He went on to talk about how smart animals are. Birds would not nest in flood-prone areas. They would choose to nest near kindly and peaceful folks who live in harmony with nature.

My second brother heard that and went investigating. There was a neighbour living nearby that we nicknamed Fierce Mother Hen. She was quarrelsome with her own family, and often found fault with the others who lived nearby. My brother and I certainly did not find a single wasp nest in front, nor behind her house. Of course no bird would nest in her back yard as she chased all of them away. The interesting fact was that we could not find any trace of ants crawling towards, or away from outside her house. It seemed all kinds of ants avoided her house totally. From chatting with her children, I found that she would constantly scald every ant in sight with boiling water. After living there for a few years, one day the family moved away suddenly. Apparently white ants (termites) proliferated in that unit since no other ants went there. The unfortunate lady's furniture was damaged. The landlord evicted them to repair the structural damage caused by termites.

It was true what the ancient Chinese wrote about animals and humans co-existing side by side in texts recorded hundreds of years ago. My dad read widely although he did not have much schooling. That was a long time before the modern terms like being green, environmentally friendly, limiting our carbon footprint... My brother who was interested in our environment as a child is today a scientist specialising in electronic engineering. I, who was curious and being a chatterbox as a little girl, am still interested in people and often write articles describing human foibles. This morning I found my son removing wasp nests built right by my front door. I found myself telling him the lessons my dad taught me more than half a century ago.

(1290)Being grateful

I was chatting with my local friend in Starbucks. The phrase of 'gratefulness despite bad fortune' brought out my tale of the Indonesian friend who received most of my household goods in 2017 (as recorded in a much earlier blog post). My friend asked me where is the Indonesian friend now?

Well! She could be in Tivoli in her own tiny wooden house near the airport. Or she could be in her elder son's plantation looking after grandchildren, that would be about two hours by car from the former capital of Borneo. Possibly she could be with her second son in Sembawang. But wherever she could be, she would no longer be travelling by public bus from town to town. Her work permit has expired. She is too old now to qualify for legal employment. As an illegal person she has to be mindful of staying below the radar. By now she has spent slightly more than half of her life working legally in this state. It is very sad that a law-abiding person like her could not apply for proper residency permit to stay on. Both her sons work here on permits. It simply would not make sense for her to go back to a country she has no one close enough, to return to.

(1289)#Tiger Mom

I met and befriended a widow while I stayed near the General Hospital in Silver City. She was a kind soul. Although she was 76 years old, she regularly shopped for the shut-ins within walking distance of her house. One of her 'clients' was an 87-year old, a mother of 10 children. The "client's" husband died ten years before that. Her surviving children were six boys, and two girls. Somehow, out of that, she was estranged from all her sons. Still, the eldest daughter came to wash the old mother's clothes twice a week. This daughter was 68 years old. The youngest daughter would come once a month from a city two hours away, bearing rice and other staples. The 'client' must have treated each child differently. What had happened to the six sons and their families? Why did each of the six leave their aged mother to live alone, never visiting or sending money? I could not even guess what had happened, until I met Mei Ling in China while visiting my uncle's family. Mei Ling worked as an hourly-paid maid for a few families in the neighbourhood. She had five children, three daughters and two sons.

First came Fish and Veron, a pair of identical twins girls. They were both qualified accountants. Next we have Apple, a female teacher posted to Tibet. The fourth, Archie and the youngest, Jude, were adopted fraternal twins. Both were lawyers, Archie worked in Shanghai, and Jude in Beijing.

All these grown children had good jobs and were married. One would think that Mei Ling would be living in clover. As things went, Mom made Fish and Veron work hard for many, many years, to pay for their younger siblings' education. Once the youngest graduated, Mei Ling released the accountants from supporting her, for life.

Perhaps because a teacher earned far less than accountants, Mei Ling did not ask for monthly contribution from Apple. Every year she visited Tibet and enjoyed being taken on sightseeing trips. Archie, the elder twin, sent two hundred Yuan every month to Mom, citing high living standards in Shanghai. Jude sent one hundred from Beijing, giving the reason that his wife earned far less than him. Poor Mei Ling could not live on their three hundred and her little pension, therefore she went out to oblige her richer neighbours. It was interesting to note that the further away an offspring lived from old mum, the latter thought better of him or her and did not expect too much from them. As Fish and Veron lived close by, the old lady expected far too much, and kept finding fault with them. The mother could not say one thing good about either of them. She was proud of the two lawyers who were far away from her, and sang praises of the teacher who hosted her yearly. Listening to Mei Ling abusing the two nearby daughters verbally, I could sympathise with them for being wary of her.

Going back to my widow friend's 'client', I will describe an update I heard recently:- The number 7 son came back to visit his old mum with thoughtful, though not very costly gifts. A neighbour happened to be visiting the old ady and witnessed the entire incident. Old mum was sarcastic and abusive in her comments. When the son gave her an ang pow (red packet containing money), she opened it and found four $50 bills. She was livid, all of his small gifts and the money from the red packet, was flung out of her door. She shouted a tirade of abuses and scolded him for giving her so little to last a whole year. The poor young man picked up the money, bundled up the gifts and walked sadly away to wait for a bus. He was poor, and had saved for an entire year to come back to see his aged mum. It would mean a trip on three different buses, before he would finally reach his rented room half a day later in a far-off city.

(1286)Semi-Charmed Kind of Life

My friend's daughter was spoilt by the latter's grandparents.

When both old folks passed on, she went to her parent's and raised havoc. As a 23-year-old, she had not worked outside the house before. There was no physical deformity. Neither was she mentally unhinged.

For a few months, she went into a charity training program to become a hairdresser. That did not last long as she quarrelled with the trainers. For a week, she tried to work for an NGO (non-government organisation) running a soup kitchen. There were disagreements with the founder. For another week, she went to help as an intern in a farm in Kedah. She was set to return there for a 3-month stint on a small stipend. But alas, she also fell out with the manager.

Other posts did not last more than 4 days. Sometimes she was dismissed, and other times she resigned in a huff. Therefore when she obtained a temporary position, hourly paid, in the midst of a COVID shutdown, none of us dared to hope it would last.

Of course friends and well-wishers have been praying for her for months. The night before the second shut down of the nation's capital, I woke to full alertness at 3am and started praying for her employers. Right before sunrise, I had such peace in my heart that I knew all would be well. At that moment, there was a sense that if within 24 hours she did not leave her hostel, she would stay at that job for at least 3 months. As things developed, she did not quit. During the lock down, no one could legally transport her and her belongings across state lines. Neither could she take the subway if she was not going to work at an essential job. Should anyone be caught, it would mean $1000 fine and jail time. Going to jail is eesentially a guarantee of catching COVID. Punishment would be meted out to transporter and passenger alike. Circumstances were such, that she was forced to stay through the difficult teething period of adjusting to a new job. Not even a spoiled brat could escape from the hand of God, even though she led a charmed life for the past 23 years.

(1285)Saga of a Foreign Wife

I met her when I started teaching Drama in an after-school adventure centre. She hailed from Pakistan. Apparently, at the 'ripe' old age of 26, she was a disgrace to her parents because nobody asked for her hand in marriage.

Her parents prepared to send her to an arranged marriage in Malaysia. Before she met her husband, she knew 3 things about him: his parents are rich, he is single and he has no criminal records. Her mom spent hours, and thousands preparing her dowry. She was given gold and jewels, hidden from prying eyes, so that if everything failed and she was alone in a strange land, she would have enough valuables to pawn, to pay for her own airfare to safely fly home. Her parents shed much tears, they were old and infirm, she was their only beloved sole daughter, apart from six sons. On top of that, she was the youngest.

As my acquaintance with Mrs Sahar deepened, her entire life story poured out of her like a waterfall. Her husband could not keep any job to feed himself, much less his wife and children. Her position in the house was worse than that of a normal nanny. As soon as her younger son left for an education in Britain, her mother-in-law told her to get employment immediately, or else her in-laws would stop feeding her. That day, she spent her bath time crying, bewailing her fate, trying to decide if it was the right time to go back to Pakistan.

A stubborn side of her rose up and protested angrily: No! I'm not going to run away and lose my sons. She has two tall, handsome, intelligent and kind boys. The very next day, she started her quest to look for a job. It was by no means easy, as she had no need to work in Pakistan. All of her years in Malaysia, was spent slaving in the kitchen and serving her in-laws' household. At 56 years old, holding a red IC(permanent resident), who would want to hire her, a woman with no qualifications or work experience?

There were two things in her favour, she speaks excellent English and she drives. The following week after that ultimatum, she meekly drove her mother-in-law around town. After entering a coffee shop, the mean old lady would not even allow her to order a drink, so she excused herself and walked to a nearby bookshop. After all, her husband had asked her to buy 3 receipt books. She took her own sweet time browsing and making her purchase. On her way back to the coffee shop, she saw a help wanted ad, for a receptionist at an after-school centre. That was how she came to be employed. Being bright, cheerful and friendly, she made many new friends, myeself being one of her moral supporters, during her interlude of being persecuted by her mother-in-law, or getting bullied by our boss.

Mrs Sahar owned an old Nokia handphone. Soon, only a select few of us(teachers and mothers), would call her to check on her status. One of us taught her how to wrangle a pay increase. She was initially paid $450 (no EPF, no socso) monthly for 4 hours of work, six days a week (Monday being our rest day). But by the time she was working 8 straight hours for six days a week, her pay stayed the same. Incidentally, our boss did not have Mrs Sahar's telephone contact, both landline or handphone, as Mrs Sahar claimed both she and her husband were renting a room together on her employment form. Her husband and her mother-in-law planned a one-week trip out o town to attend a wedding. she boldly took no-pay leave to supposedly "care" for her father-in-law at home. In actual fact, Mrs Sahar left the house for work, but drove to and hid in a young mother's house near the after-school centre. A few of us had scouted out the route she would take and found a hiding spot for her to park her old junk of her car out of sight, from both her in-law and our boss. Mrs Sahar was so good with the babies and super efficient i nthe kitchen, that the grateful mother willingly paid her $200 for her one week's help.

At the end of that one week, Mrs Sahar tried to extend for another 3 days, but our boss threatened to fire her. She had full confidence of getting another job. After negotiating back-and-forth, in the end, our boss incresed her pay to $750 per month. Even then, Mrs Sahar was still paid less than an Indonesian maid.

At 57 years old, Mrs Sahar contracted chicken pox. In her own words, she dragged her old carcass to the toilet by crawling on the floor. Even her tormentors, both the mother-in-law and father-in-law, were honestly terrified that she would die soon, looking at Mrs Sahar's prolonged suffering. She did not eat any solid food for 10 days straight. Her husband mixed cup after cup of warm milk, from milk powder, to give his wife energy. Her mother-in-law even grudgingly boiled barley water with a pinch of sugar, for her to drink. Two weeks after Mrs Sahar was confined to bed, our boss finally increased her pay to one thousand dollars, and started an EPF account for her, to lure Mrs Sahar to return back to work.

Mrs Sahar herself was amazed that her crop of friends were so kind to her. She knew for a fact that in Pakistan during her younger days, women were subservient to men, and was often very petty with each other. Here in the capital city of Malaysia, middle-class women tend to be super supportive of one another. After all, most are married with the same types of husband and children problems. So it is up to the keepers of the hearth to rise up and help each other, than to pull one another down.

(1284)Herbal Mixtures

I have a cousin who grew up in her paternal grandparents' household. Her dad passed away in a car accident. Her mum went to work in the Middle East as a nurse and remarried to a Filipino man there.

During the final illness of our grandfather, he seemed to be delirious and repeatedly told me that his wife was involved in witchcraft. I was a little surprised to hear him talk so insistently as normally he was a man of few words. Well, one should not encourage a patient in his delirium. Neither did I take what he said seriously. It could have just been a fancybecause his mind was wondering.

A few years later, our grandmother passed on also. My youngest aunt, who was unmarried, was cleaning the old house and throwing away the grandparents' effects with my cousin mentioned above. I happened to be visiting that part of the country and went to take a last look at the old house before it was to be sold.

My aunt showed me old photo albums and allowed me to choose a few as keepsakes. In the course of the conversation, she told me she threw a fair amount of herbal preparation. There were packets of powders with Thai scripts and quite a few were made in Indonesia.

Shortly after that I visited an old friend in Silver City had long chats with her long-serving maid. Apparently, married Indon maids would buy herbal preparation, usually in a pair. Before leaving home, they would swallow the first portion to stop their period. Keeping the second pack, they would then take when returning home for good. According this maid from a hilly part of Jawa, she believes that one could purchase similar products of different brands in most of the islands of Indonesia. As far as she knows, her relatives and friends have used such products and no one had any undesirable side effects.

After listening to what one person said, I dutifully went for a second opinion. When I had a chance, I asked my neighbour's maid who hailed from Sulawesi and had been woriking in Sabah for the past thirty years. She told me more or less the same thing and even offered to buy me a pair. She said it was available in Indon shops in town.

It is commonly known in the extended family that my cousin had never menstruated before. She is almost forty years old now. My grandma was adamant that her granddaughter was born defective and resolutely refused to let anyone take her to the hospital. Since she had no father and her mum was away, there was no one willing to go against the fierce old lady. Who knows? Maybe my grandfather was trying to tell me something in a rather indirect way which I did not undeerstand until it was too late.

Linking all the invisible threads above, I wonder if my aunt and cousin had unwittingly thrown away the second half of the herbal preparation. Anyway, it probably does not matter anyway. My cousin has decided not to marry and is earning a stable income looking after children others entrusted her with.

(1283)Ayam Wild

Opposite to my current place of abode we find a green belt of perhaps 80 hectars. It is rather low lying land that turns swampy in the rainy season.

Quite a few years ago, I happened to over hear a little girl ,who was the daughter of a nearby coffee shop owner, telling a server that wild chickens were found opposite the shop among the trees. Being curious, I asked if they had seen them. Both of them nodded their heads. When asked if it was male or female, the little girl said she saw a mother hen.

Lately I have been spending a lot of day light hours on my balcony. Apart from driving the car once in every two days, going to buy food for cooking; I read and write while enjoying the barmy breezes on the front broad balcony. After all, one could not go out at will, noone could eat out. How often could a person eat take out food that turns cold and soggy. If I managed to write a few pages, I am a happy woman. One could only read so many hours a day. In between, I saw two black feathered chickens walked out from the shadows of big trees, pecked at comething and retreated into the greenery.

Much of my free time in between cooking and cleaning I spent watching the endless line of cars queueing to purchase fast food. I also notice the trend of Food Panda and Grab Food delivery men. Sunday morning at 10:30am is the absolute peek, I counted five green Grab Food guys and nine pink Food Panda guys. Dinner rush starts at 4:30pm or so as the last order by car owners might end as early as 5:20 pm or as late as 5:50pm if stock holds.The takeaway guys work until seven something, everyone would be expected to go home by eight.

It is inyeresting that the normal household could only eat so much home cooked healthy food for so long. One yearns for fried chicken and deep fried fries for a change. Whatever business seafood, Western, Japanese, Korean... restaurants lose out of, Western fast food take away joints are reaping a lion share of the disposable income because consumers feel safe in the contactless drive through way of collecting yummy food.

(1282)CMCO

This is the second day of CMCO in this town. CMCO probably stands for Conditional Movement Control Order. Sanitation workers came yesterday to dig and suck out of the sewerage channel. That happened at least twice a year.

My son said the only oxidation plant he had seen in town is near our landlord's expensive condominium a mile or so away. It seems that Indah Water (semi government body taking care of waste water) does not exist here. Human waste simply flows out of the sewer through river to the sea. What people take for granted in the Peninsular are not found here.

It is also part of life to put up with patchy handphone reception in certain part of the residential area here. The first house I rented was within walking distance from the only golf course. My neighbour, a young man about to be married, could be found standing in the middle of the deserted road in front of our houses chatting with his fiancee around midnight the few nights before his wedding day. That was the only spot he could find uninterrupted signal to carry on a telephone conversation with his beloved.

What I described above was superceded by a native student who had to build a simple shelter on top of a tall tree which grew atop a hill so she could take her semester exam using an old laptop catching barely sufficient signal. That happened when all college students had to return home and made do with online lessons because of COVID-19.

On the other hand I am most grateful for uninterrupted water and electrical supply. Folks in my old neighbourhood in Selangor were having no water supply because of unlicensed business people dumping chemical waste on the water catchment area. Instead of suffering the preannual haze, I am enjoying clean air with daily sea breeze.

While the population in Malaysia is not alarmingly high, already the water and air pollution levels reached dangerous levels. For a country densely polulated like Indonesia, COVID-19 spread like wild fire. It does not help when certain people groups threatened medical people with deadly weapons insisting on taking dead bodies which had been disinfected and sealed back to their homes so that loved ones could see, touch, clean and kiss the dead. Even though doctors and health officials knew the consequences of that, they had no choice but to give in to the armed and crazed groups.

It does seem like the worst enemy of human beings are themselves. When population becomes too high, things would happen to cut the numbers down. Perhaps that was how the past civilizations ended abruptly.