The other day Elizabeth was lamenting that she could not hear God. Since Michael went for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and was trained daily in his Discipleship Training Course to wait for God's still small voice, she made one of those rare hand phone calls to pick his brain. But for someone who has yet to hear that voice, even what he said was too stupendous.
The summer after my college graduation, I was living in a small town working in a small outfit. Every Friday night a very kind couple would pick me up for what they called home fellowship. I distinctly remember one testimony (story about one's walk with God) of a quiet and serious old man. He was deliberating over an important decision in his life as a young believer and was losing much sleep over it. One co-worker told him to seek God - meaning read the bible and ask God to speak to him. At that time, my fellowship group member was a young man feeling rather foolish when he proceeded to carry out the act of seeking God. He knelt down and asked God to speak to him concerning his problem with scripture verses. Then he thanked God and got up to sit at the study desk to read the next portion of scripture from his reading list. Lo and behold, one verse lit up and jumped at him. He could not believe his own eyes and actually went to wash his face. After a five minute break, he went back to the same line: the very same verse jumped out at him again. Then he knew that was God's answer to his problem. He thanked God aloud and went on to apply that verse to his problem. For indeed God hears and he answers his children.
A week later I was asking God what should I do : to continue in the same town or go on to a nearby University town? To work or to go to summer school? The answer came that very night, I was reading some page in the Old Testament. Three words jumped at me and was blinking: Return to Samaria. At that point I did not know where Samaria was or even who the Samaritans were. But the meaning was clear: God wanted me to return to my home country. I remember telling God that since seven years old I meant to find a way to go to America and stay on there. Although I wanted very much to be obedient to him, but would he change my heart. That He did, He changed my heart within three days: overruling a decision that I held in my heart for seventeen years. More than that, I still have three months to seek for employment, an additional visa extension of six months to be applied for. On top of all that, my host couple generously offered me a scholarship to do my Masters degree. At the very same time, an eligible pilot in the Arm Forces was courting me with my host family's permission. Despite all that, I did return home. Yes, my earthly father told me in no uncertain terms that I was stupid to return at that time. He said I could have negotiated with God and gotten my second degree first. Moreover, he said that to be married to a US pilot would mean I could travel with him to many bases around the world. But I suppose what he said was true, yet to obey is better than sacrifice. And what human could see is so very limited. To God, He transcends time and space. Thirty odd years later, it is proven that God had my well being in His mind when He asked me to return. I may not have a second degree today, neither have I traveled as much as I could have wished for; yet I am content with who I am today.
Showing posts with label spiritual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
(238) Lost eternally
One of Elizabeth (my youngest)'s uni mate was drown a week ago. Details were sketchy: she went to use a private college's pool, somehow she knocked her head and fainted. Once she became a dead weight at the bottom of the pool, whoever present was not strong enough to lift her up.
What really upset Elizabeth was that she actually shared bus seats on a uni trip with the deceased a few months ago. She knew the deceased was a Buddhist but she did not attempt to share the good news at the first meeting. However, Elizabeth did have a long chat with her and perhaps did conversationally mentioned that the former is a practicing Christian. After the sad news of her passing, Elizabeth went into a self-bashing mode, blaming herself for the lost opportunity.
Somehow, I see things much differently. My family was more Taoist than Buddhist. Friends have been sharing the good news with me on countless occasions for like fourteen years before the opportune moment when I saw the light. In fact, I used to hate those folks who bashed my head with their bibles, in a manner of speaking. Perhaps if those Christ Ambassadors were less active, I would have not been forced to sit in the opposition corner for so many years. While I knew those statues my parents worshiped to were not God, I strongly resented the facts that born again Christians called them idols. I honestly believe that God woos each person along the high ways and the by ways. I am not ashamed of my belief and would gladly share when someone wants to hear. But I certainly would not force, push or share with any and everyone I meet.
What really upset Elizabeth was that she actually shared bus seats on a uni trip with the deceased a few months ago. She knew the deceased was a Buddhist but she did not attempt to share the good news at the first meeting. However, Elizabeth did have a long chat with her and perhaps did conversationally mentioned that the former is a practicing Christian. After the sad news of her passing, Elizabeth went into a self-bashing mode, blaming herself for the lost opportunity.
Somehow, I see things much differently. My family was more Taoist than Buddhist. Friends have been sharing the good news with me on countless occasions for like fourteen years before the opportune moment when I saw the light. In fact, I used to hate those folks who bashed my head with their bibles, in a manner of speaking. Perhaps if those Christ Ambassadors were less active, I would have not been forced to sit in the opposition corner for so many years. While I knew those statues my parents worshiped to were not God, I strongly resented the facts that born again Christians called them idols. I honestly believe that God woos each person along the high ways and the by ways. I am not ashamed of my belief and would gladly share when someone wants to hear. But I certainly would not force, push or share with any and everyone I meet.
Friday, April 19, 2013
(236) Broken Children, Grown-up Pain by Paul Hegstrom
For my readers who have followed my blog, you would know that I have the privilege to listen to 4 women in pain for the past 19 years.
I primarily saw them as former sufferers of learning disabilities. Which probably was not too far off the mark! Well! In the above book the author proposes the theory that when children went through trauma before the age of 13, they might have what was called arrested development and then they remained as children in certain areas of their lives until their minds are renewed by God.
The first lady I spent a fair amount of time listening to did not want to change her paradigm, she merely wanted to keep looking for new people to pay her sympathetic attention. The second one came to accept her troubling marriage as something she would rather keep than dissolve, she also increasingly prayed about things and issues that bothered her. About that time I moved away from Silver City.
The third one was Zelda. It was marvelous how God was gracious to her. He was restoring to her the locust eaten years of girlhood. I guess she would have to delve deeper why she has an anger problem that seems somewhat disproportionate to the incident that trigger the emotion.
The fourth one was the one whom God miraculously reconciled with her ex-husband. Well! I suppose they would still have issues and hurts to settle for a while more. But there is nothing God could not accomplish if they only allow Him to.
This is a book that every people worker should read. I think in our imperfect world there are many people who are walking around with crippling hurts that dated back from their childhood days.
I primarily saw them as former sufferers of learning disabilities. Which probably was not too far off the mark! Well! In the above book the author proposes the theory that when children went through trauma before the age of 13, they might have what was called arrested development and then they remained as children in certain areas of their lives until their minds are renewed by God.
The first lady I spent a fair amount of time listening to did not want to change her paradigm, she merely wanted to keep looking for new people to pay her sympathetic attention. The second one came to accept her troubling marriage as something she would rather keep than dissolve, she also increasingly prayed about things and issues that bothered her. About that time I moved away from Silver City.
The third one was Zelda. It was marvelous how God was gracious to her. He was restoring to her the locust eaten years of girlhood. I guess she would have to delve deeper why she has an anger problem that seems somewhat disproportionate to the incident that trigger the emotion.
The fourth one was the one whom God miraculously reconciled with her ex-husband. Well! I suppose they would still have issues and hurts to settle for a while more. But there is nothing God could not accomplish if they only allow Him to.
This is a book that every people worker should read. I think in our imperfect world there are many people who are walking around with crippling hurts that dated back from their childhood days.
Monday, April 15, 2013
(219) The safest place for my money
Ever since I heard about Cyprus' financial crisis, I have been watching international news whenever I have the chance.
This seems to be the first case of having depositors being penalized for saving when the nation require bailing out. Even though Cyprus is a small nation, depositors of other nations would be affected. I wonder if those who are affected are from Cyprus or are they mainly from Russia as reported? Today I heard from a middle eastern TV news that badly affected depositors are given Cyprus citizenship.
When I mentioned the last bit to my husband, he doubted any foreign depositors would want to live in Cyprus with the current financial climate. Now I see why Asians prefer to convert liquid wealth of a certain strata to real estate. A piece of land or a building could not be taken away by any financial institution as easily. Real estate in prime sites would appreciate over a period of years too.
I have long ago given up my career to bring up my children. Since my husband had a business failure, I have learnt to live a simple life. Whatever little surplus I have, I give away to God's work. In that sense, I don't have to worry about any authority taking away my wealth in any local or foreign bank. God is no man's debtor, the bread I have cast over the water did come back in ways I earlier could not imagine.
This seems to be the first case of having depositors being penalized for saving when the nation require bailing out. Even though Cyprus is a small nation, depositors of other nations would be affected. I wonder if those who are affected are from Cyprus or are they mainly from Russia as reported? Today I heard from a middle eastern TV news that badly affected depositors are given Cyprus citizenship.
When I mentioned the last bit to my husband, he doubted any foreign depositors would want to live in Cyprus with the current financial climate. Now I see why Asians prefer to convert liquid wealth of a certain strata to real estate. A piece of land or a building could not be taken away by any financial institution as easily. Real estate in prime sites would appreciate over a period of years too.
I have long ago given up my career to bring up my children. Since my husband had a business failure, I have learnt to live a simple life. Whatever little surplus I have, I give away to God's work. In that sense, I don't have to worry about any authority taking away my wealth in any local or foreign bank. God is no man's debtor, the bread I have cast over the water did come back in ways I earlier could not imagine.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
(217) Asking for a miracle
Being a believer, I often pray. Most of the time is for good weather when I am on the go and I pray for parking in crowded places. Yes, I pray for finances, places in universities for my children, gainful employment, scholarships and good exam results. Recently I visited my elderly aunt in hospital and prayed for a successful hip replacement surgery, speedy recovery and painlessness. Of course others prayed too, my husband and children, my Wednesday prayer group, my husband's Sunday morning group, my old uncle(my aunt's brother)'s entire family too.
Above all that I expected, she came out of the long operation and she was alert. She healed rapidly, until today she only took one pain killer when my cousin insisted because the patient had to travel to the hospital to take out the stitches. She started standing on both feet within a week of the operation and two nights ago she attempted to walk to the toilet by herself. My poor cousin almost had a fit as she was afraid the old lady would fall. The next day the carer resorted to tying one leg of the patient's to the bed post so as to remind her that she needed help going to the toilet.
I am most amazed and grateful that God answered our prayers. When the patient's daughter challenged me to pray for the former's short term memory lost to be reversed, I balked. After reading lengthy articles on Alzeimer's and dementia, I lack the faith to believe. If I don't believe, there is not much point praying.
However, by chance I attended a Full Gospel Business Men's meeting and heard that one young man received a new brain after being in a coma for six months. Well, I did not ask for a new brain for my aunt, I merely requested for the ability to remember. In return for the speaker's prayer, I promised to take my aunt, who lives an hour away, to the meeting to testify if she recovers her memory. After all, she needs salvation more than a good brain at age eighty four. (The above was blogged on 3/23/13)
On 4/15/13 my aunt's memory has not improved. I take it that the answer from God is no or wait. I, an ordinary mortal, cannot understand why some prayers are answered fast and in a beautiful manner; but other prayer requests are not granted. God is sovereign and his ways are much higher than all I can think or reason. Recently a former church member died in Singapore of cancer in her thirties despite months of corporate and personal prayers. She happened to have rather young children. The only silver lining is that the deceased's last wish of having her parents accept Jesus into their hearts was granted. Both aged parents repeated the sinners' prayer ( in her presence) during her last window of consciousness.
Above all that I expected, she came out of the long operation and she was alert. She healed rapidly, until today she only took one pain killer when my cousin insisted because the patient had to travel to the hospital to take out the stitches. She started standing on both feet within a week of the operation and two nights ago she attempted to walk to the toilet by herself. My poor cousin almost had a fit as she was afraid the old lady would fall. The next day the carer resorted to tying one leg of the patient's to the bed post so as to remind her that she needed help going to the toilet.
I am most amazed and grateful that God answered our prayers. When the patient's daughter challenged me to pray for the former's short term memory lost to be reversed, I balked. After reading lengthy articles on Alzeimer's and dementia, I lack the faith to believe. If I don't believe, there is not much point praying.
However, by chance I attended a Full Gospel Business Men's meeting and heard that one young man received a new brain after being in a coma for six months. Well, I did not ask for a new brain for my aunt, I merely requested for the ability to remember. In return for the speaker's prayer, I promised to take my aunt, who lives an hour away, to the meeting to testify if she recovers her memory. After all, she needs salvation more than a good brain at age eighty four. (The above was blogged on 3/23/13)
On 4/15/13 my aunt's memory has not improved. I take it that the answer from God is no or wait. I, an ordinary mortal, cannot understand why some prayers are answered fast and in a beautiful manner; but other prayer requests are not granted. God is sovereign and his ways are much higher than all I can think or reason. Recently a former church member died in Singapore of cancer in her thirties despite months of corporate and personal prayers. She happened to have rather young children. The only silver lining is that the deceased's last wish of having her parents accept Jesus into their hearts was granted. Both aged parents repeated the sinners' prayer ( in her presence) during her last window of consciousness.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
(193) A Dream 3
My husband and I made another trip up to visit the book room I wrote about in (993).
The corner shop lot is beautifully renovated. The staff quarter looks lived in finally. To date, we have one full time counter staff, one kitchen worker, a book seller and a temporary manager whose real job is to oversee translation projects in different parts of Asia.
Sad to say, my husband and I put out a fleece and found that we are not supposed to move up at all. I don't quite understand why I am being given much time to read, contemplate, write a few passages now and then. But I have to accept that here is where God wants me to be. Last year, when I prayed about a part-time teaching project to earn some money for travel, God generously gave me two trips: one to Shanghai and the other to Canton. Therefore I am most grateful and could not complain at all. If it fits in with what God allows me to do, I hope to see two children two or three times a week. I will be paid to speak to them in Mandarin: a six year old boy and an infant girl. The ultimate goal would be to build a love for Chinese literature within these two children. My neighbor would transport me there and back as she was hired to transport the boy from school and then to cook dinner for the family.
We will see how that goes. But back to the book room, I saw hundreds of donated books being sorted and entered into the database. A few pieces of furniture were placed in different corners. God willing, the book room may even open on January 15, 2013!
The corner shop lot is beautifully renovated. The staff quarter looks lived in finally. To date, we have one full time counter staff, one kitchen worker, a book seller and a temporary manager whose real job is to oversee translation projects in different parts of Asia.
Sad to say, my husband and I put out a fleece and found that we are not supposed to move up at all. I don't quite understand why I am being given much time to read, contemplate, write a few passages now and then. But I have to accept that here is where God wants me to be. Last year, when I prayed about a part-time teaching project to earn some money for travel, God generously gave me two trips: one to Shanghai and the other to Canton. Therefore I am most grateful and could not complain at all. If it fits in with what God allows me to do, I hope to see two children two or three times a week. I will be paid to speak to them in Mandarin: a six year old boy and an infant girl. The ultimate goal would be to build a love for Chinese literature within these two children. My neighbor would transport me there and back as she was hired to transport the boy from school and then to cook dinner for the family.
We will see how that goes. But back to the book room, I saw hundreds of donated books being sorted and entered into the database. A few pieces of furniture were placed in different corners. God willing, the book room may even open on January 15, 2013!
(192) Zelda's update
This is another installment continuing from (9).
I just talked to my friend Zelda on the Skype. She has booked her return air ticket and if she could not extend her stay she would be back by January 28, 2013. I guess after writing to each other for over a year and then spending almost 6 months in the same housing area, he is still not exactly sure that she is the one he should wed.
Zelda went to visit her friends in Arkansas and Seattle. The church her boy friend worships in actually blessed her with a trip to Washington DC. During the week ends she managed to visit many places of interest around New Jersey. It was a wonderful rest, she managed to read many books and educate herself in psychology, how to listen to the raped, the sexually abused, the traumatized ... Even more important than gathering head knowledge, she was able to apply what she learned as God led her to those who needed a compassionate listening ear.
Now, more than before, I am sure God has good plans for her. America may just be a starting point. Being a practical and logical person, of course I would love to wrap up the saga with a wedding march. But our God is a surprising God at times, His ways are higher than ours. I could never perceive His thoughts by using my finite brain. And so I eagerly await Jan 28, it would be lovely to see Zelda face to face. Here, I reiterate that in the internet one finds more scams than romance. Unless you are sure that you are smart and scam proof, it is better to leave it alone. I wish that every woman would have the good fortune of Zelda in seeking a suitable mate in the cyber world, but that is a wish that cannot come true in our imperfect world!
I just talked to my friend Zelda on the Skype. She has booked her return air ticket and if she could not extend her stay she would be back by January 28, 2013. I guess after writing to each other for over a year and then spending almost 6 months in the same housing area, he is still not exactly sure that she is the one he should wed.
Zelda went to visit her friends in Arkansas and Seattle. The church her boy friend worships in actually blessed her with a trip to Washington DC. During the week ends she managed to visit many places of interest around New Jersey. It was a wonderful rest, she managed to read many books and educate herself in psychology, how to listen to the raped, the sexually abused, the traumatized ... Even more important than gathering head knowledge, she was able to apply what she learned as God led her to those who needed a compassionate listening ear.
Now, more than before, I am sure God has good plans for her. America may just be a starting point. Being a practical and logical person, of course I would love to wrap up the saga with a wedding march. But our God is a surprising God at times, His ways are higher than ours. I could never perceive His thoughts by using my finite brain. And so I eagerly await Jan 28, it would be lovely to see Zelda face to face. Here, I reiterate that in the internet one finds more scams than romance. Unless you are sure that you are smart and scam proof, it is better to leave it alone. I wish that every woman would have the good fortune of Zelda in seeking a suitable mate in the cyber world, but that is a wish that cannot come true in our imperfect world!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
(112) this book will save your life by a.m.homes
My niece bought this book as a teenager. I read it once many years ago. Until recently, I thought of it as a rather unusual book.
A week back, I decided to read it once more. This time, I have plenty of time for reflection. After all, the last of my chicks has flown away. I begin to see the purpose for Homes to write this book. Personally speaking, I am the exact opposite of Richard Novak. He had millions, I have a few hundreds in my bank account so the bank cannot charge me for service. Any extra I lavished on my children, I gave to missions. He lived in an expensive hill top house, I live in my tiny house in a cheap part of town. He chose to leave his wife and son, I hung onto my husband and children. He was totally independent, I am totally dependent on my husband now and I will be dependent on my children if I live longer than my husband.
Yet I see his dilemma: What is the point of gaining the world (much wealth) but losing your very soul?
A week back, I decided to read it once more. This time, I have plenty of time for reflection. After all, the last of my chicks has flown away. I begin to see the purpose for Homes to write this book. Personally speaking, I am the exact opposite of Richard Novak. He had millions, I have a few hundreds in my bank account so the bank cannot charge me for service. Any extra I lavished on my children, I gave to missions. He lived in an expensive hill top house, I live in my tiny house in a cheap part of town. He chose to leave his wife and son, I hung onto my husband and children. He was totally independent, I am totally dependent on my husband now and I will be dependent on my children if I live longer than my husband.
Yet I see his dilemma: What is the point of gaining the world (much wealth) but losing your very soul?
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
(107) Being angry on another's behalf
I have a friend whom I was walking with through a rough patch in her life. Let us call her Patsy here. Just as Patsy was 90% recovered, she stopped attending church. I sat and collected reams of information, but none of the many things she mentioned really sounded like the last straw that broke the camel's back.
Until one evening she invited my husband and I to dinner, I was still wondering why she was no longer making any attempt to attend church. Sure, I know she was tired. Other times she was unwell. Yet there were weekends that she had to go back to the office. All these did not account for the fact that I have probably seen her once in three months in church.
She told my husband and I how her former pastor had a full blown affair with a leader's wife. When the secret blown open, the church split. Those who found forgiveness in their hearts stayed on. The Pastor repented. Patsy left with a horde of disillusioned folks, some stopped attending any church but Patsy went on to join another church.
Recently, her sister came back from a mission trip led by her Senior Pastor.(her sister attends a different church) S. Pastor's wife did not go, but her God daughter did. Throughout the journey, S. Pastor and the so called "God daughter" were blatantly flirting. Patsy's sister was so disgusted that she would not go to another such mission trip again.
The conversation went on to how Patsy wondered about whether her Pastor allowed personal dislike to dictate whether he supported (if Pastor says no, the church won't support) a young person to mission training. Patsy heard that her church did not come out with a single dollar when this young lady applied and attended a six month discovery program for mission. Interestingly, most of the cost was borne by her pre-Christian relatives.
Patsy recalled that prior to all these, she was in church and witnessed Pastor talking to a group of youth. Her Pastor was quite a joker, laughter followed him wherever he went. He has a funny habit of saying "You know? " in between ideas, pronounced the American way. Apparently the young lady in question imitated him and said "You know?" right after some thought and he said "I don't know!" rather emphatically showing his displeasure in no uncertain terms. I was not there, therefore I can't tell if this young girl was mirroring or ridiculing him at that instance. I suppose such a youth who dared to ridicule the Pastor deserve whatever he dished out as repercussion. But what if she was mirroring as a high form of admiration? Wouldn't this Pastor be reacting to something not intended as rudeness?
Well, no pastors are perfect. We are all forgiven sinners, those of us who are found in any church on Sundays. If we look for a perfect church, there is none on earth. Similarly we cannot find a single perfect pastor. We go to church because we believe in a Perfect God.
Until one evening she invited my husband and I to dinner, I was still wondering why she was no longer making any attempt to attend church. Sure, I know she was tired. Other times she was unwell. Yet there were weekends that she had to go back to the office. All these did not account for the fact that I have probably seen her once in three months in church.
She told my husband and I how her former pastor had a full blown affair with a leader's wife. When the secret blown open, the church split. Those who found forgiveness in their hearts stayed on. The Pastor repented. Patsy left with a horde of disillusioned folks, some stopped attending any church but Patsy went on to join another church.
Recently, her sister came back from a mission trip led by her Senior Pastor.(her sister attends a different church) S. Pastor's wife did not go, but her God daughter did. Throughout the journey, S. Pastor and the so called "God daughter" were blatantly flirting. Patsy's sister was so disgusted that she would not go to another such mission trip again.
The conversation went on to how Patsy wondered about whether her Pastor allowed personal dislike to dictate whether he supported (if Pastor says no, the church won't support) a young person to mission training. Patsy heard that her church did not come out with a single dollar when this young lady applied and attended a six month discovery program for mission. Interestingly, most of the cost was borne by her pre-Christian relatives.
Patsy recalled that prior to all these, she was in church and witnessed Pastor talking to a group of youth. Her Pastor was quite a joker, laughter followed him wherever he went. He has a funny habit of saying "You know? " in between ideas, pronounced the American way. Apparently the young lady in question imitated him and said "You know?" right after some thought and he said "I don't know!" rather emphatically showing his displeasure in no uncertain terms. I was not there, therefore I can't tell if this young girl was mirroring or ridiculing him at that instance. I suppose such a youth who dared to ridicule the Pastor deserve whatever he dished out as repercussion. But what if she was mirroring as a high form of admiration? Wouldn't this Pastor be reacting to something not intended as rudeness?
Well, no pastors are perfect. We are all forgiven sinners, those of us who are found in any church on Sundays. If we look for a perfect church, there is none on earth. Similarly we cannot find a single perfect pastor. We go to church because we believe in a Perfect God.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
(73) Cracker by Cynthia Kadohata
When we travel, it is often that we see working dogs sniffing the luggage and eyeing the passengers walking past in airports. I admit that I was ignorant that dogs served in most recent wars USA was involved in. Cracker was supposed to be the only dog being selected to be returned to the US with the handler, Rick Hanski, after the Vietnam war ended.
Like Rick Hanski, I did not know for a long time what I was going to do after leaving school. Starting from I was nine years old, one teacher after another told me I could earn a living as a reporter. I guess I was so used to that kind of praise that I looked elsewhere. Starting from age 12 I was very impressed with science and dreamed about becoming a scientist.
After my government examination, I was picked to be interviewed in a Mandarin Radio program. The first interview was done in an empty classroom. A few weeks later, it seemed everyone heard the interview being broadcast except me. Then the same radioman called me for another program and we spent three hours recording a 15 minute segment. He showed me how he transferred the 15 minutes' recording from the master tape to the program tape. After a third invitation, he offered me an assistant's part time post. Pending my father's permission, I would have to sign a one year contract after I attended a three month pronunciation course. Since I was 16, my father objected. And that ended the opportunity to broadcasting.
While in college, I was trained in scientific programming. Even though I was given a scholarship for a Master's program, I was instructed to return to my home country. By now, I can see that if I had delayed returning, I would never return. Either marriage or a good career would have kept me somewhere in the USA. Ever since I started school, I have spent a lot of time observing how different teachers taught. Since I was bright and needed little teaching the first ten years, I spent a great deal of time helping slower students. When I returned to my home country, jobs were hard to come by and I went into college teaching. Good times or bad times, parents still pump in their life savings into their children's education.
My formal teaching life ended at age 31. After that it was training and special education. Around that time I received a prophesy from God that I will do four things for Him. It was only three years ago that I started doing two: writing and publishing (in the internet). The time for the third task has come. I am to record what He told me to, offer the recordings to a to-be set up social enterprise. Should these people refuse to take it, I am to learn to pod cast it. Either you too believe that each of us is here on earth for a specific purpose or you must think that I am raving mad!
Like Rick Hanski, I did not know for a long time what I was going to do after leaving school. Starting from I was nine years old, one teacher after another told me I could earn a living as a reporter. I guess I was so used to that kind of praise that I looked elsewhere. Starting from age 12 I was very impressed with science and dreamed about becoming a scientist.
After my government examination, I was picked to be interviewed in a Mandarin Radio program. The first interview was done in an empty classroom. A few weeks later, it seemed everyone heard the interview being broadcast except me. Then the same radioman called me for another program and we spent three hours recording a 15 minute segment. He showed me how he transferred the 15 minutes' recording from the master tape to the program tape. After a third invitation, he offered me an assistant's part time post. Pending my father's permission, I would have to sign a one year contract after I attended a three month pronunciation course. Since I was 16, my father objected. And that ended the opportunity to broadcasting.
While in college, I was trained in scientific programming. Even though I was given a scholarship for a Master's program, I was instructed to return to my home country. By now, I can see that if I had delayed returning, I would never return. Either marriage or a good career would have kept me somewhere in the USA. Ever since I started school, I have spent a lot of time observing how different teachers taught. Since I was bright and needed little teaching the first ten years, I spent a great deal of time helping slower students. When I returned to my home country, jobs were hard to come by and I went into college teaching. Good times or bad times, parents still pump in their life savings into their children's education.
My formal teaching life ended at age 31. After that it was training and special education. Around that time I received a prophesy from God that I will do four things for Him. It was only three years ago that I started doing two: writing and publishing (in the internet). The time for the third task has come. I am to record what He told me to, offer the recordings to a to-be set up social enterprise. Should these people refuse to take it, I am to learn to pod cast it. Either you too believe that each of us is here on earth for a specific purpose or you must think that I am raving mad!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
(49) To act justly?
My country is still in the anticipation of the next general election. The other day we were talking about the natives' ancestral land was being usurped by the corporations in northern Borneo. While that is really nothing new, this time someone said that the huge commercial group that attracted the spotlight this time is owned by Christians. That really rung a bell in my head.
A few days back I read that after the conversion of John Newton, he was practicing his faith sincerely but he was still captain to a slave ship. I suppose that these hard working and rich Hock Chew folks originally from the coastal area of southern China probably think that the aborigines as non-people. They might see that God has blessed them with wealth so that they could convert every inch of northern Borneo into oil palm plantations. The green oil would generate more and more money so that they could become wealthier every year. That in itself is probably alright; but think of the aborigines who would have no means of surviving outside of the jungle, they would probably be left with few choices: servitude, prostitution, crime, living near mountains of rubbish as scavengers ....
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8
A few days back I read that after the conversion of John Newton, he was practicing his faith sincerely but he was still captain to a slave ship. I suppose that these hard working and rich Hock Chew folks originally from the coastal area of southern China probably think that the aborigines as non-people. They might see that God has blessed them with wealth so that they could convert every inch of northern Borneo into oil palm plantations. The green oil would generate more and more money so that they could become wealthier every year. That in itself is probably alright; but think of the aborigines who would have no means of surviving outside of the jungle, they would probably be left with few choices: servitude, prostitution, crime, living near mountains of rubbish as scavengers ....
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
(32) The Happiest People on Earth by J.&E.Sherrill
I first read about the Armenians as a people group in Agatha Christie's stories. In this personal story of Demos Shakarian written by John and Elizabeth Sherrill, I read about the tragic history of the first Christian nation on earth.
This is my second reading, after borrowing one copy at least fifteen years ago from a church library. Once again, I am struck by how God led him and how obedient he was, both he and his wife. It is easy to serve God in our spare time. But to take off months at a time, incurring in expenses that no one would reimburse, moving the children to another town, running oneself ragged? How many men would be fool enough to do it? After all, he is just a businessman brought up in the dairy industry. He is not a Pastor, nor is he a missionary.
He was honored by God to start the Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship with a few men. I have read a similar story of how YWAM (Youth With a Mission) was started too by one man's vision that was given by God.
According to Shakarian, if any of us find out the precise purpose God created us for in this world, and we make use of every gift he endowed us to carry the mission(s) out, then we would be the happiest people on earth.
For Shakarian, he was to help found the FBGMF to lead business men and women to fellowship together, sharing their testimonies of how God help them and what the Creator of our universe is meant to them.
This is my second reading, after borrowing one copy at least fifteen years ago from a church library. Once again, I am struck by how God led him and how obedient he was, both he and his wife. It is easy to serve God in our spare time. But to take off months at a time, incurring in expenses that no one would reimburse, moving the children to another town, running oneself ragged? How many men would be fool enough to do it? After all, he is just a businessman brought up in the dairy industry. He is not a Pastor, nor is he a missionary.
He was honored by God to start the Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship with a few men. I have read a similar story of how YWAM (Youth With a Mission) was started too by one man's vision that was given by God.
According to Shakarian, if any of us find out the precise purpose God created us for in this world, and we make use of every gift he endowed us to carry the mission(s) out, then we would be the happiest people on earth.
For Shakarian, he was to help found the FBGMF to lead business men and women to fellowship together, sharing their testimonies of how God help them and what the Creator of our universe is meant to them.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
(28) Lovely stones
What do we see? A lump of inert rocks? A peak to conquer? The home of the Gods? Snowy peaks? I may be a romantic, I see jewels of rosy hues, something lovely God created.
I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with garments of salvation, ... as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10
Photo credit: Ms Ong Bee Lian
(27) Sun and rain
Look at the majestic mountains! It will be another day in the sun. Pitiful is the person that hides from the sun his entire life, whether by choice or not.
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matt 5:45
The above photo is used with the kind permission of Ms Ong Bee Lian.
(26) Wheat
I read in the news that wheat harvest was dismal in quite a number states of the America lately. By next year, we will see definite increase in grain prices.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam did not need to plant nor reap. God richly gave everything for his enjoyment. But after the fall, the prince of the air, Satan, worked against everyone in the world; especially those whom God call.
And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat Luke 22:31
Photo below is used with kind permission of Ms Ong Bee Lian
(25) The Fabulous Concubine by Chang Hsin-hai
This is the first book published by Oxford Paperbacks written by a Chinese that I have ever come across.
The story is set against the background of the bureaucratic corruption and the webs of intrigue and deceit which flourished in China before the overthrow of the Manchu dynasty.
The main character, Golden Orchid, was a sing-song girl who became the concubine of the Chinese Ambassador to Germany and Russia. As I read this historical novel, I can't help but contrast the details of living between 1895-1904 to what I saw during my two short trips to Shanghai and Canton earlier this year.
At least in the two cities that I visited, housing and transportation rivaled that of Singapore. The cuisine in Canton is indeed something to be remembered for a long time. From what I read recently of western press and what my cousins told me, the present government officials are not any less corrupt than those in the by gone years. But at least the citizens have decent housing and there are many new and expensive cars on the road driven by ordinary folks.
Of course the big difference is that free trade enable the free movement of people. Many professionals from abroad relocated to work there for the sake of the spreading of the gospel. The many decades of suffering of the Chinese people could be seen as the price that brought about the religious reform.
The story is set against the background of the bureaucratic corruption and the webs of intrigue and deceit which flourished in China before the overthrow of the Manchu dynasty.
The main character, Golden Orchid, was a sing-song girl who became the concubine of the Chinese Ambassador to Germany and Russia. As I read this historical novel, I can't help but contrast the details of living between 1895-1904 to what I saw during my two short trips to Shanghai and Canton earlier this year.
At least in the two cities that I visited, housing and transportation rivaled that of Singapore. The cuisine in Canton is indeed something to be remembered for a long time. From what I read recently of western press and what my cousins told me, the present government officials are not any less corrupt than those in the by gone years. But at least the citizens have decent housing and there are many new and expensive cars on the road driven by ordinary folks.
Of course the big difference is that free trade enable the free movement of people. Many professionals from abroad relocated to work there for the sake of the spreading of the gospel. The many decades of suffering of the Chinese people could be seen as the price that brought about the religious reform.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
(23)Tempting Fate by Nora Roberts
This is the
Caine half of The MacGregors.
I have read my share of love stories in my teens. Yet no other romance author brings
interesting side issues to life like her. If you have been reading the notes I
have written on Roberts’ books, you will realize that I pick them not for her
talents of describing what happened in between the sheets.
As I read
about Diana Blake, I was comparing her at the back of my mind to a young lady
who has a gift with words (we’ll call her Leela). For my readers who have not
read Tempting Fate, Diana’s parents died when she was six. Her brother, who was
sixteen, took her to her aunt and left her there. For twenty years he did not
see her, not because he did not want to. It was the aunt that made the
condition. He quietly sent monthly checks until she graduated from law school.
She grew up suppressing her love and need for the only brother she had,
thinking that he abandoned her. It seemed that the in-grain habit of operating
on logic had severed her emotions until she could no longer be comfortable with
her feelings.
On a few
occasions I met Leela. She is a young mother of three, managing on her own in a
foreign land. After I listened to her mother’s struggles, I began to see why
she had a problem in her childhood. A short summary would be her own words: by
choice, she separated her emotions from logic to survive the pain many years
ago. Now, she is surrounded with four males, her husband and three sons. It
would not be unusual for at least one of her sons to take after her father, who
seemed to be the source of her painful childhood.
It is
probably unlikely I will see Leela in the near future. I am glad of that. I
wish her well, of course. Since I am not a psychologist, I cannot be of help to
sort out the tangles in her heart. Now, a few days ago I was asked to pray for
a lady, she was so concise with her statement of prayer point that I confessed
I did not know how to ask God to help her. Then and there I resorted to praying
in tongues for perhaps forty seconds as that usually help me to pray when my
mind was a blank. To be honest I cannot remember even one phrase out of
the prayer I uttered on her behalf. It must have been reasonable as those
around the table took what I prayed in their stride. After I prayed, both in
tongues and in words, it became clear to me that this lady has a similar
problem like Leela (As the days passed, this conviction deepened). Now, you must be wondering if I am going off my rocker!
Let me
explain, since young I have been periodically having flashes of insight that I
cannot command nor explain. They often came when I did not expect nor want them. It helps
me to see people for what they chose not to reveal to others. I might blurt out the precise thing my conversation partner was trying to avoid. Some people
thought I was mediumistic. But I have checked, there was not a single medium on
both sides of my family lines for 4 generations.
After I
became a practicing Christian, folks said it is the gift of knowledge. An
unbelieving family member said it is what was described in Blink by Ted Dekker (I hope I have the correct name down).
Whatever you call it, I am stuck with it. Part of it was probably in born: the
ability to see patterns where others fail. God could have sanctified the
natural talent to become a gift of the Holy Spirit to serve others. What
remains is if I have a chance to speak to this second person alone sometime in
the future, I would have to thicken my skin to tell her what I heard while
praying. If it is indeed from God, then that could be the root of the problem
to her Eczema.
Monday, August 13, 2012
(22) Playing the Odds by Nora Roberts
This is the Serena part of The MacGregors.
It is an interesting story of a very rich young woman falling for a gambler turned casino-hotels owner. I am afraid I have the middle class phobia of gambling. It is not exactly unheard of to know of people who gambled a fortune away and then in a moment of despair, the poor guy jumped from high enough to die instantly leaving behind a widow with young children. Both men and women have incurred in big debts in our only hill top casino and later disappeared without a trace: either they run away successfully or they died.
In one of my life groups, a man was a compulsive gambler before he turned his life over to Jesus. He said it is like alcoholism, he just lives one day at a time. He has been clean for more than fifteen years now. Any game of chance still attracts his attention. Daily he simply prays and resists the pull. It is not difficult to say no but he would have to continue to say no to betting of all types.
I suppose a game like black jack holds better odds than slot machines or other forms of gambling. My father had been a betting man. According to my mum, overall he lost more than he won in a life time of betting 4 digits that used to be based on horse racing. He borrowed money to get married. Had he worked and saved money to pay back the debt, it would have taken him many years indeed. When his first born son came home, he won a lottery that paid him many thousands of dollars. He was a practicing Taoist all his life, there was nothing to stop him from gambling and hoping for quick gains. Of course money that came that quickly also dissipated quickly. He would never say no to poor friends and relatives who asked him for a loan when he had money in his pocket. He might not have been a wise man but he was open handed. I suppose those who lend to the poor and do not oppress them can be taken as lending to the Lord. Throughout his life, he has never been in need of money. God had paid him back amply. You see, God is no man's debtor. Although my father did not know Him while alive, he had been living by biblical principles, therefore he had been enjoying the blessings of God even as an unbeliever.
It is an interesting story of a very rich young woman falling for a gambler turned casino-hotels owner. I am afraid I have the middle class phobia of gambling. It is not exactly unheard of to know of people who gambled a fortune away and then in a moment of despair, the poor guy jumped from high enough to die instantly leaving behind a widow with young children. Both men and women have incurred in big debts in our only hill top casino and later disappeared without a trace: either they run away successfully or they died.
In one of my life groups, a man was a compulsive gambler before he turned his life over to Jesus. He said it is like alcoholism, he just lives one day at a time. He has been clean for more than fifteen years now. Any game of chance still attracts his attention. Daily he simply prays and resists the pull. It is not difficult to say no but he would have to continue to say no to betting of all types.
I suppose a game like black jack holds better odds than slot machines or other forms of gambling. My father had been a betting man. According to my mum, overall he lost more than he won in a life time of betting 4 digits that used to be based on horse racing. He borrowed money to get married. Had he worked and saved money to pay back the debt, it would have taken him many years indeed. When his first born son came home, he won a lottery that paid him many thousands of dollars. He was a practicing Taoist all his life, there was nothing to stop him from gambling and hoping for quick gains. Of course money that came that quickly also dissipated quickly. He would never say no to poor friends and relatives who asked him for a loan when he had money in his pocket. He might not have been a wise man but he was open handed. I suppose those who lend to the poor and do not oppress them can be taken as lending to the Lord. Throughout his life, he has never been in need of money. God had paid him back amply. You see, God is no man's debtor. Although my father did not know Him while alive, he had been living by biblical principles, therefore he had been enjoying the blessings of God even as an unbeliever.
Monday, August 6, 2012
(16) Forgiveness
In a short article on page 133 of the March 2002 Reader's Digest I find what Marilyn Elias wrote in USA Today being summarized.
Elias was quoting Stanford University psychologist Carl Thoresen: Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or condoning offences, or reconciling with the offender. It means giving up the right to be angry.
In the group treatment Thoresen's team built, they emphasize:
- Shifting rigid personal "rules" for how people should behave to "preferences," and accepting that no adult can control another.
- Seeing the hurtful incident from a neutral viewpoint.
- Moving from blame to understanding, then moving on.
I personally have not seen a better definition of forgiveness than this in the past 22 years.
Elias was quoting Stanford University psychologist Carl Thoresen: Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or condoning offences, or reconciling with the offender. It means giving up the right to be angry.
In the group treatment Thoresen's team built, they emphasize:
- Shifting rigid personal "rules" for how people should behave to "preferences," and accepting that no adult can control another.
- Seeing the hurtful incident from a neutral viewpoint.
- Moving from blame to understanding, then moving on.
I personally have not seen a better definition of forgiveness than this in the past 22 years.
(15) Crooked Stick by martin chow
First I want to state that I admire Chow for self publishing when he has something to say to the Christian community who has been supporting his ministry of helping the poor and marginalized in China.
Since he self published, his books would not be sold in any book shops anywhere. His contact email is martin.chow63@gmail.com. For my readers residing in peninsular Malaysia who go to churches that support Chow and his family, they will make his books available when he speaks there.
Both Martin and Diane Chow are highly qualified with two degrees each from universities in Malaysia and UK. They gave up highly lucrative jobs to bring a seven year old daughter to Yunan to make a difference to the minorities there.
I found it interesting to note how small acts of kindness can lead to open doors for the gospel. During WW2, a nameless American pilot was very kind to a Chinese boy, he gave candies and taught the boy to say 'ok' with his fingers. The boy grew up deciding that he would return such acts of kindness to other Americans. Many years later, his daughter became a student of Ethel Wallis in a college in South-western China. The former led the latter to the man who vowed to help Americans. You see, this man's childhood friend became the Governor of Guizhou. With the special introduction, a community work project started in Guizhou.
While it is not a highly polished book, there is much substance and a straight forward sincerity in the telling things as they are with no frills. Hopefully the author would see the need to rewrite and improve it, as well as have a few friends who are well versed in publishing to suggest slight changes that would improve the book at least in terms of lay out and appearance.
Since he self published, his books would not be sold in any book shops anywhere. His contact email is martin.chow63@gmail.com. For my readers residing in peninsular Malaysia who go to churches that support Chow and his family, they will make his books available when he speaks there.
Both Martin and Diane Chow are highly qualified with two degrees each from universities in Malaysia and UK. They gave up highly lucrative jobs to bring a seven year old daughter to Yunan to make a difference to the minorities there.
I found it interesting to note how small acts of kindness can lead to open doors for the gospel. During WW2, a nameless American pilot was very kind to a Chinese boy, he gave candies and taught the boy to say 'ok' with his fingers. The boy grew up deciding that he would return such acts of kindness to other Americans. Many years later, his daughter became a student of Ethel Wallis in a college in South-western China. The former led the latter to the man who vowed to help Americans. You see, this man's childhood friend became the Governor of Guizhou. With the special introduction, a community work project started in Guizhou.
While it is not a highly polished book, there is much substance and a straight forward sincerity in the telling things as they are with no frills. Hopefully the author would see the need to rewrite and improve it, as well as have a few friends who are well versed in publishing to suggest slight changes that would improve the book at least in terms of lay out and appearance.
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