(132) Nomad

My friend May has an unsettled period in her life. Within a span of eleven years, she moved seven times.

Her younger son took it into his stride. However, the older one hated the constant moves. For years he shut his mum out and sulked. He kept to himself. He lacked self confidence. Naturally he had difficulties making friends.

Years later, he went on mission trips. Then he signed up for serious training and mission outreach. Interestingly, one of his teachers told him that there was a label above his head. The label reads "missionary'

Now, he looked back to those rolling stone years as God's special training. Because of that, he is able to regard whichever building he stays in as home. To this young missionary-to-be, home is wherever he chooses to let God send him to.

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(129) Negative attention

A lady has three daughters and a son. She had an irritating way of finding minor faults with all her daughters. The eldest one is an ordinary sort of child that is easily overlooked. The middle girl is pretty but rebellious. The third girl has a hole in her heart and is sickly. Daughter number one would hang up her tooth brush at every opportunity.

Why is it that a child that is brought up by hygienic and conscientious parents would refuse to brush teeth?

In this case it could be a means of getting negative attention.

* animals.jpg from zoomza.com

(125) Suicide

During my first year in college, there was a suicide. Speculations were rife. Folks talked about drugs, pregnancy, debts, and all kinds of way off notions.

The young lady who did away with herself was quite good looking. Like most students in the expensive private school, she came from a well-to-do family. Her academic record was not top notch, but she was holding her own.

Months after her death, some kind of shadow still hung over the student body. People seemed a little more sober. Even loud laughter and horsing around seemed to be capped. I suppose for those few counted as her close friends, life probably could not be the same as before. They were all hit by the frailty and the temporal state of life on earth.

* flower.jpg from cssnz.org

(124) Truth or lies

When another person tells me things about himself, I tend to match it to his actions or behavior. If it matches, well and good. If not, I ask myself if it could be that he was telling me consciously what he thought, but was acting from his sub-conscious. If the answer is yes, then it makes sense.

Suppose the answer is no. It then changes everything. There is a possibility that this person is lying deliberately to me. Or it could be that he is trying to manipulate me. Either way, he then becomes an undesirable friend.


 

(122) Making do

Many years ago, my first job after graduation paid eight hundred and forty dollars. It was during a prolong recession that I  felt fortunate to have a job.

 It was difficult to manage on that amount. Bus fare to and from work, lunch money hacked away a big chunk of money. Buying a pair of presentable shoes practically cleared my bank account the first month.

I still recalled I had to survive  on sandwiches from home to save money to buy a suitable handbag. That was with the second month pay. After the third month, I was confirmed and my pay went up to thousand two. Finally there was a decent amount left for the purchase of working clothes. 

It would be fair to say that whatever I managed to purchase the first six  months were strictly necessities. It was after the first six months that I finally get to look at a positive  balance and managed to save on a monthly basis.

* orange flowers from stanford.edu

(118) God knows best

How long does a person live? We commonly attribute it to genetics, diet, life style, risk factor ... Research shows that the length of life was consistent with the length of life line in the palm of the deceased. So could we say that  we were born, all the days of our life were written in God's book?

According to Chinese superstitions, old folks who begged and gotten extensions to their lives usually did so at the expense of one or a few of their descendants. In the Old Testament, King Hezekiah asked for additional years and was given. He used his bonus years to the detriment of his descendants.

Perhaps we ought to be careful of what we pray for. If God does not give us certain things, could it be for the best of all involved?

* flower from cameras.about.com

(115) The foolish dentist/ Love is blind

There is a dentist who married a Sri Lankan maid. He is known around the neighborhood as the foolish dentist. He is a man of medium height and he is not bad to look at.

One day my child had tooth ache. We walked into his clinic around eleven thirty in the morning. The clinic nurse said doctor was out. I was a little taken aback. It was too early for lunch. Not willing to wait, I drove to another dentist.

A few weeks later, I met a patient of his. Through our conversation, I expressed my surprise at finding him out of his clinic at an odd hour. Apparently he drives his own children to school. On top of that he buys lunch for his wife and children.  I was surprised and asked what was his wife doing at home. It happened that his wife never learn to drive. Even though she was formerly a maid, she didn't like to cook. As a dentist's wife, she could easily hire a maid to cook for her family. Obviously he could afford one, but she preferred to do her own house work and chose to live in a low cost flat.

Nothing seemed to make sense until I tell myself that love is blind. It is wonderful that they are happy together.

* 1450  1712---sunflowers--Flower-Ma from freefoto.com

(110) Middle child syndrome

Ever heard of the middle child syndrome?

Most eldest children dug deep into their parents' hearts. The more children we have, the more we treasure the very last. Suppose the middle one or ones are disobedient, possess bad attitudes, and irk us, it is then very difficult to be fair to each of our off springs.

My husband is a middle child. In his case it is not that bad as there are a number of middle children. Even now that he is well past the fifty mark, he is still unsure of his parent's love.

One of my childhood friends has three girls. Her middle child often drive her to tears and despair. In her case she is perhaps more strict than most parents. Her high expectations of her children's academic performance spurred her eldest and her youngest on. The same concern and monitoring did not work on the middle girl.

Being the youngest child, I can only observe and compile data. I will never personally feel what it is like being a middle child.

* 46.jpg from briarwoodanimalclinic.com

(109) A memorable person

I met her one Christmas in her daughter's house. The following summer I was her guest. She was one of those older generation who believed in cleanliness is next to godliness. Summer or winter, she awoke at dawn or earlier to get on with her cleaning. She got married at age fourteen and had her four girls young. They were well brought up and in turn have model children. If there was any weakness in her life, it was her nineteen year old cat. Nothing was too good for the feline.

That summer, we worked at their garden. I had my first taste of raw corn newly harvested. It was filled with simple fruit sugar, it actually tasted like fruits. We had steaks grilled in open air, filled with the smoke of hickory sticks. I tagged along when her husband fished in the reservoir lake. They tried unsuccessfully to get me to water ski. They were very kind and hospitable. They were well to do then, but they did not forget they were poor and struggling in their youth. "Paw-Paw D' was a miner before he got married. Mama D came from a family with a good blood line who lost their ancestral wealth.

Looking back, it was funny what I recalled. I thought of her look when she declared she didn't like to die and pass on her hard earned money to her children. She was displeased with what they would do with her money. One would buy a four wheel drive without hesitation. Another would renovate her house to her heart's delight. The third would change to a bigger house. The last would slowly give the money to her children. I just listened to her then. I wished to have the presence of mind to ask what she would have approved of, investing the money? Saving it? Of course she was only in her mid-fifties then, no where near death.

*BLilly.jpg from health.nashville.gov

(100) Self acceptance

 Yesterday my youngest was listening to the Carpenters. There were many songs. Listening to the cheery and warm female vocal, it is difficult to believe that she died from a heart attack resulting from weight swings.

Being famous, she must have made a bundle of cash. She had such a lovely voice. She looked very decent too, judging from the album cover. I cannot fathom why she has that fatal sickness of losing weight.

Last month, I met my friend's aunt who is an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) over cleanliness. That is a lady in her fifties. She has been nicely set up with some inheritance. For whatever reason she never got married. She would spend hours cleaning  herself until her skin becomes raw.

I am not qualified to look at these two cases from the medical point. Yet from the common sense way of looking at them, neither was happy with themselves. There was probably a certain amount of self-rejection.

 * retro flower frame.jpg from dryicons.com

(95) Gender

My mother was an unwanted daughter. When she was very young, as soon as she realized why she was treated differently from her brothers, she decided that when she grew up and set up her own household, she would have a daughter and treat her as she herself wanted to be treated.

Because of that, I was well loved and well treated. When it came time for me to get married, I realize all the advantages of having daughters who are financially independent. Yet I prayed for my first child to be a son. I can't say I want a son more than a daughter. There are three reasons.

I could see that my mother-in-law was having life-long dreams of having many grandsons. I look at my husband and realize that he is not strong enough as a man to be contented with two daughters. Last but not least, I don't want to be a baby machine producing a string of daughters while waiting for the illusive son.

God is merciful, he gave me a healthy and normal first born son.

* step8 2,jpg from blog.craftzine.com