This book is made up of eleven short stories. I have read the last five stories in other collections.
The first story is used as the name of this book. A weak-will man who was low in financial water was arrested for murder. He told his solicitor that his live-in partner would give him an alibi. But the lady in question denied it. She in fact took the trouble to put up a convincing show to force the jury and all in court to wrestle out a reluctant admission out of her that he came home at the time he claimed. As a result he got off.
The Red Signal explores the field of premonition and insanity. It is not unheard of that some could sense some danger ahead and thus could escape unscathed. For the uninitiated, it may not be easy to pick up a cunning insane mind. Fortunately, the insane person killed himself in the struggle. His wife finally could go to the deceased's good friend.
In The Fourth Man, we find a lawyer, a canon, a mental specialist and a man who grew up in the same home as a woman who was found with multiple personalities. It was through the fourth person's special knowledge that the other three could guess at what actually happened to lead the woman in question to strangle herself to death.
In S.O.S. a chanced visitor to an isolated cottage was an answered prayer to an adopted daughter of the family. A murder was planned to the last detail to kill off the target so that the biological daughter could claim an inheritance. Indeed the love of money could lead to evil.
Where There is a Will is a story of how a young man plotted and planned his way out of a huge fortune. Should he be able to leave the old lady alone, she could have died within a short time. It was ironic that one who set a trap did fall into it himself.
I find it difficult to believe The Mystery of the Blue Jar could be a true story. But with a beautiful girl and a cunning "mental specialist", I suppose anything is possible.
In Sing a Song of Sixpence, we have a retired lawyer used his experience to solve a murder. The answer is tied to a new coin that was mentioned by one of the witnesses.
We have The Mystery of the Spanish Shawl in which a young man was ripped of everything in his apartment.
In Philomel Cottage a woman was able to save her own life from being taken by her husband, a serial killer.
In Accident, someone who was able to recognise a repeat killer was killed in trying to prevent a further murder. Or so he thought! In fact the murderess did not want to kill her husband but had to kill again to prevent her identity from being uncovered.
The Second Gong was rewritten into a longer story: A Mirror cracked from Side to Side.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
(508) Packing for a trip
I visited two sisters. The elder has a college age daughter. After the daughter took out clothes for a trip, her mother has to pack it for the journey.
The younger sister has a seven year old son. During the last school holidays, he went with his Sunday School teacher and a few classmates to visit a daughter church in another state. While relating how a child has to learn skills, I encouraged the younger sister to start training her son to learn to make lists and to pack his things with the mother's help.
From my own experience, seven is a good age to start. First let the child be present and witness how things are gathered and packed. The second time around, hand a list to let him gather what he would need. Then pack them into the bag or case, depending how much the child wants to do. Gradually, the child does more, and the parent less. Finally, the parent should make sure the list is complete and perhaps view the case before it is closed and then locked.
By the time a child is about twelve, he or she should be capable enough to independently pack for a school trip or a youth camp lasting a few days.
The younger sister has a seven year old son. During the last school holidays, he went with his Sunday School teacher and a few classmates to visit a daughter church in another state. While relating how a child has to learn skills, I encouraged the younger sister to start training her son to learn to make lists and to pack his things with the mother's help.
From my own experience, seven is a good age to start. First let the child be present and witness how things are gathered and packed. The second time around, hand a list to let him gather what he would need. Then pack them into the bag or case, depending how much the child wants to do. Gradually, the child does more, and the parent less. Finally, the parent should make sure the list is complete and perhaps view the case before it is closed and then locked.
By the time a child is about twelve, he or she should be capable enough to independently pack for a school trip or a youth camp lasting a few days.
(507) Gun man
Here I am, sitting in front of the TV. Instead of typing straight into Blogspot, I am writing long hand.
My sibling and family went for a vacation. I am house sitting, making sure my mother is not alone. When I heard from CNN that a bomb detonated in Oslo, my heart skipped a beat. It was a good thing that on that day they were in another European country. As soon as I figured that out, I thanked God and said a prayer committing their safety to God. My mum agreed with me in prayer. Who would have expected such wholesale bloodletting in a Scandinavian country? On satelite TV, they claimed at least 80 deaths in that summer camp of the youth wing of the ruling party.
The poor, unfortunate parents of those youth who were shot at by a lone gun man wearing police uniform! May the murderer be caught soon. Please let the injured be safe. It is tragic that so many young lives were snuffed prematurely in one afternoon!
My sibling and family went for a vacation. I am house sitting, making sure my mother is not alone. When I heard from CNN that a bomb detonated in Oslo, my heart skipped a beat. It was a good thing that on that day they were in another European country. As soon as I figured that out, I thanked God and said a prayer committing their safety to God. My mum agreed with me in prayer. Who would have expected such wholesale bloodletting in a Scandinavian country? On satelite TV, they claimed at least 80 deaths in that summer camp of the youth wing of the ruling party.
The poor, unfortunate parents of those youth who were shot at by a lone gun man wearing police uniform! May the murderer be caught soon. Please let the injured be safe. It is tragic that so many young lives were snuffed prematurely in one afternoon!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
(506) a Twist in the Tale by Jeffrey Archer
This book reminds me about Tales of the Unexpected by Roald Dahl. The interesting part is that ten of the twelve tales were true!
The Perfect Murder
My grandma used to say that adulterers have higher chances than an average person to be murdered. This story amply illustrated her theory. It is quite unexpected that a married man would expect his mistress to be faithful to him. But I suppose it does not take a lot for a man to kill a woman, especially in a moment of rage. Elizabeth and I both wondered aloud if it was a true story. We hope not. It would be unfair for a real murderer to escape scot free in this world. But surely he could not escape from the Higher Judge.
Clean Sweep Ignatius
My palm sweated when I read of the bank manager being threatened by a hand gun. Surely the confidentiality of banking would not be carried to such extreme! Yet without such bank secret accounts, we would not have such poor countries like Indonesia with lots of natural resources. It is difficult to find men with political power who are not corrupt. Where we find such men, we would find a nation that is beyond riches, like Singapore.
A La Carte
Would not teenagers think their parents old fashion or crazy to be ambitious for them? I wonder when was the turning point for the young man in the story? At the moment when he turned around to walk back to the hotel? Elizabeth's counseling teacher said that she practically had to nag her son to apply for the first scholarship. Finally she had to apply on his behalf and did everything for him. The earlier ones he did not win. The one that enabled him to back pack in Europe last summer was the one that his mum applied for against his wishes.
Elizabeth have obtained a place in my old college with 60% aid. However, she did not win the American Chamber of Commerce scholarship. Unless a miracle occurs, she will go to a local government university near where we live. Alternatively, we are still waiting to see if she is on the waiting list of a University in China. So far, no news could be good news.
Not the Real Thing
This is an unlikely story of how a vain man lost his costly and beautiful medal. It is futile for a commoner to try his best to appear lordly in front of a Monarch. Does a medal awarded to a person belongs to him or the monarch?
Just Good Friends
I was fooled until the last moment when the author finally mentioned about the female's tail. It was natural to assume that this pub customer picked up a homeless female who part timed for the pub owner.
The Steal
I have met a few couples like the Kendall-Humes, rich, loud, confident, generous to a fault ... Personally I prefer them to strait laced old money folks. Unwittingly, they have paid four times the real price for their inferior carpet. And the Rogers had gotten their "steal". They paid five hundred for something worth five thousand. I suppose every party wins. The carpet dealer made excellent profit even though he practically gave one away to the Rogers. The Kendall-Humes thought they made a fantastic bargain. And the Rogers knew they had a bargain.
Colonel Bullfrog
It was amazing to have the Japanese rose from the ashes and the humiliation of the Second World War to become an industrial power. By a series of co-incidences, it would not be too far fetched to imagine this being a true story.
Checkmate
Perhaps the pickings were lean in other places. It was unusual that a lady in the trade would choose to pick her fool in a chess competition. She must have learned her skills in chess since childhood. She must be quite good to able to pretend to lose convincingly so many times with a chess president.
Honour among Thieves
I find it difficult to believe a person can tell a vintage by vineyard and year. They exist, I am sure. Barker did not lose any money over losing the bet. He had two good meals and some excellent wines in the bargain. The only thing that would pierce his side constantly would be that fool Hamilton laughing at him over his "inability to name the wines" from Hamilton's cellar. But I suppose Barker has the last laugh.
A Chapter of Accidents
If this is a true story, I find it ironic that Travers suffered a nasty accident for only making a pass at a lady. Of course he had it coming to him, for bedding many women in town behind their husbands' backs. Take heed: "Any intended victim who has a regular routine immediately makes himself more vulnerable." (Conan Doyle)
The Loophole
I have never heard that a successful litigant need not pay tax at all on damages received in a civil case. Is that true in UK or USA? Philip who paid tax at the highest rate could expense off the loss because the person who sued him for libel once worked for him. I have not been able to figure out why he would not be able to do it otherwise.
Christina Rosenthal
The modern Romeo and Juliet! For parents who held to their beliefs that their children should not marry certain races, this is a warning! Not unless they would prefer untimely deaths rather than gain a son or daughter-in-law whom they do not accept.
The Perfect Murder
My grandma used to say that adulterers have higher chances than an average person to be murdered. This story amply illustrated her theory. It is quite unexpected that a married man would expect his mistress to be faithful to him. But I suppose it does not take a lot for a man to kill a woman, especially in a moment of rage. Elizabeth and I both wondered aloud if it was a true story. We hope not. It would be unfair for a real murderer to escape scot free in this world. But surely he could not escape from the Higher Judge.
Clean Sweep Ignatius
My palm sweated when I read of the bank manager being threatened by a hand gun. Surely the confidentiality of banking would not be carried to such extreme! Yet without such bank secret accounts, we would not have such poor countries like Indonesia with lots of natural resources. It is difficult to find men with political power who are not corrupt. Where we find such men, we would find a nation that is beyond riches, like Singapore.
A La Carte
Would not teenagers think their parents old fashion or crazy to be ambitious for them? I wonder when was the turning point for the young man in the story? At the moment when he turned around to walk back to the hotel? Elizabeth's counseling teacher said that she practically had to nag her son to apply for the first scholarship. Finally she had to apply on his behalf and did everything for him. The earlier ones he did not win. The one that enabled him to back pack in Europe last summer was the one that his mum applied for against his wishes.
Elizabeth have obtained a place in my old college with 60% aid. However, she did not win the American Chamber of Commerce scholarship. Unless a miracle occurs, she will go to a local government university near where we live. Alternatively, we are still waiting to see if she is on the waiting list of a University in China. So far, no news could be good news.
Not the Real Thing
This is an unlikely story of how a vain man lost his costly and beautiful medal. It is futile for a commoner to try his best to appear lordly in front of a Monarch. Does a medal awarded to a person belongs to him or the monarch?
Just Good Friends
I was fooled until the last moment when the author finally mentioned about the female's tail. It was natural to assume that this pub customer picked up a homeless female who part timed for the pub owner.
The Steal
I have met a few couples like the Kendall-Humes, rich, loud, confident, generous to a fault ... Personally I prefer them to strait laced old money folks. Unwittingly, they have paid four times the real price for their inferior carpet. And the Rogers had gotten their "steal". They paid five hundred for something worth five thousand. I suppose every party wins. The carpet dealer made excellent profit even though he practically gave one away to the Rogers. The Kendall-Humes thought they made a fantastic bargain. And the Rogers knew they had a bargain.
Colonel Bullfrog
It was amazing to have the Japanese rose from the ashes and the humiliation of the Second World War to become an industrial power. By a series of co-incidences, it would not be too far fetched to imagine this being a true story.
Checkmate
Perhaps the pickings were lean in other places. It was unusual that a lady in the trade would choose to pick her fool in a chess competition. She must have learned her skills in chess since childhood. She must be quite good to able to pretend to lose convincingly so many times with a chess president.
Honour among Thieves
I find it difficult to believe a person can tell a vintage by vineyard and year. They exist, I am sure. Barker did not lose any money over losing the bet. He had two good meals and some excellent wines in the bargain. The only thing that would pierce his side constantly would be that fool Hamilton laughing at him over his "inability to name the wines" from Hamilton's cellar. But I suppose Barker has the last laugh.
A Chapter of Accidents
If this is a true story, I find it ironic that Travers suffered a nasty accident for only making a pass at a lady. Of course he had it coming to him, for bedding many women in town behind their husbands' backs. Take heed: "Any intended victim who has a regular routine immediately makes himself more vulnerable." (Conan Doyle)
The Loophole
I have never heard that a successful litigant need not pay tax at all on damages received in a civil case. Is that true in UK or USA? Philip who paid tax at the highest rate could expense off the loss because the person who sued him for libel once worked for him. I have not been able to figure out why he would not be able to do it otherwise.
Christina Rosenthal
The modern Romeo and Juliet! For parents who held to their beliefs that their children should not marry certain races, this is a warning! Not unless they would prefer untimely deaths rather than gain a son or daughter-in-law whom they do not accept.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
(505) Random Hearts by Warren Adler
Adler is an author of many books. It looks like the most well known is The War of Roses. Random Hearts is a motion picture.
In the story a married woman had an affair with a married man. They were both very careful and thought their spouses would not find out. Unfortunately their flight to a stolen holiday ended as a tragic wreck in the Potomic River. Since they were traveling under fictitious names, their bodies were kept for days before their identities were traced. Meanwhile, their respective faithful spouses suffered.
The book dealt in details how this man and woman reacted to their respective spouses' deceit. In the end, something good came out of the tragedy. They developed feelings for each other and decided to face the future as a couple.
Normally, a widow faced her grief at her husband's death. This particular widow was overwhelmed by her anger at being cheated for more than a year. Similarly, the widower had to deal with grief as well as anger. For him, it was worse. He found that his deceased wife chose to conceive a child with her lover. It really hurt him as she had refused to have a child with him for many years. The flip side of love is hate. The book ended as heroine decided to forgive the deceitful deceased male.
In the story a married woman had an affair with a married man. They were both very careful and thought their spouses would not find out. Unfortunately their flight to a stolen holiday ended as a tragic wreck in the Potomic River. Since they were traveling under fictitious names, their bodies were kept for days before their identities were traced. Meanwhile, their respective faithful spouses suffered.
The book dealt in details how this man and woman reacted to their respective spouses' deceit. In the end, something good came out of the tragedy. They developed feelings for each other and decided to face the future as a couple.
Normally, a widow faced her grief at her husband's death. This particular widow was overwhelmed by her anger at being cheated for more than a year. Similarly, the widower had to deal with grief as well as anger. For him, it was worse. He found that his deceased wife chose to conceive a child with her lover. It really hurt him as she had refused to have a child with him for many years. The flip side of love is hate. The book ended as heroine decided to forgive the deceitful deceased male.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
(504) Courtship
The other day I was watching a movie on cable TV. Since I was channel surfing when I hit the movie, I only watched about three quarters of it. Elizabeth and my mother joined me at the half way point. The main actress was very attractive. I really enjoyed seeing her in many outfits.
From the way the director was handling the movie, we saw the main actor pursuing the heroine. Yet at the end of the movie, the attractive actress revealed to her grandma that she had been eying the guy ever since she noticed him visiting his grandpa pretty often in her grandma's retirement home. She set about to plan to meet him seemingly by chance. Then she attracted him by some scheming and played hard to get after the incident. In the movie, he was caught and caught for all time. (If I see the movie again I will note the name to record here.)
When Elizabeth was in her good friend's house, a few teenagers and I talked about courtship. Elizabeth and I mentioned about this movie and the idea it put forward. Her friend, Vivien, agreed totally that nowadays guys are like that. It takes ingenuity to attract one desirable male and it takes more manipulation to catch him.
Thinking back, I was really fortunate that I did not need to scheme and manipulate. I had two direct proposals four years apart. I accepted the second one and got married. In between I know if had hung on longer I would have gotten another two proposals. The very first offer was from a man much older than I was. If I had accepted him I would have become the lady boss of a big Chinese Restaurant near the Rockies. Another likely contender was a Navy pilot. The third was a rich developer's son who held a Green Card to Canada. I am glad that I don't have to plot and scheme to catch my prince.
While I am still on the topic, I am tickled to mention a novel way to catch a boy : as in Meg Cabot's All American Girl. In the book we have Samantha Madison declaring on National TV that she would like the rumours about her and the First Son being an item to be true. That certainly beats rescuing the President from being shot at.
From the way the director was handling the movie, we saw the main actor pursuing the heroine. Yet at the end of the movie, the attractive actress revealed to her grandma that she had been eying the guy ever since she noticed him visiting his grandpa pretty often in her grandma's retirement home. She set about to plan to meet him seemingly by chance. Then she attracted him by some scheming and played hard to get after the incident. In the movie, he was caught and caught for all time. (If I see the movie again I will note the name to record here.)
When Elizabeth was in her good friend's house, a few teenagers and I talked about courtship. Elizabeth and I mentioned about this movie and the idea it put forward. Her friend, Vivien, agreed totally that nowadays guys are like that. It takes ingenuity to attract one desirable male and it takes more manipulation to catch him.
Thinking back, I was really fortunate that I did not need to scheme and manipulate. I had two direct proposals four years apart. I accepted the second one and got married. In between I know if had hung on longer I would have gotten another two proposals. The very first offer was from a man much older than I was. If I had accepted him I would have become the lady boss of a big Chinese Restaurant near the Rockies. Another likely contender was a Navy pilot. The third was a rich developer's son who held a Green Card to Canada. I am glad that I don't have to plot and scheme to catch my prince.
While I am still on the topic, I am tickled to mention a novel way to catch a boy : as in Meg Cabot's All American Girl. In the book we have Samantha Madison declaring on National TV that she would like the rumours about her and the First Son being an item to be true. That certainly beats rescuing the President from being shot at.
Friday, July 15, 2011
(503) The Capture by Kathryn Lasky
When I first saw this book, I thought I would just read a few pages and see if it is worth my time. Surprisingly, it is a captivating read. I learned many little facts about owls and birds in general.
It is the story of a undersized bird who would never be able to fly normally. She chose to use her disability for some noble purpose. In this case, she pretended to be an owlet and infiltrated into enemy camp to save eggs. In the end, she died as a heroine defending an egg she was rescuing through an eagle. Instead of being an odd single owl depending on other owls' charity for food, she became a role model in her country, Ambala. Her name, Hortense, became the most frequently used name in that land.
None of us are perfect. As pre-teens, most people have probably felt handicapped in one way or another. With such books published by Scholastic, no one needs to feel marginalized by any handicap, instead, we could rise above any handicap to be all that we can be, like Hortense.
It is the story of a undersized bird who would never be able to fly normally. She chose to use her disability for some noble purpose. In this case, she pretended to be an owlet and infiltrated into enemy camp to save eggs. In the end, she died as a heroine defending an egg she was rescuing through an eagle. Instead of being an odd single owl depending on other owls' charity for food, she became a role model in her country, Ambala. Her name, Hortense, became the most frequently used name in that land.
None of us are perfect. As pre-teens, most people have probably felt handicapped in one way or another. With such books published by Scholastic, no one needs to feel marginalized by any handicap, instead, we could rise above any handicap to be all that we can be, like Hortense.
(502) Holding on to the listener
On page 34 of Personality Plus we find Popular Sanguine as warm and physical people. "they frequently hold on to the people they are talking to in order to be in close contact and to make sure their audience doesn't get away.
Thank goodness Elizabeth does not have this trait! But in The Secret of Chimneys by Agatha Christie, we find "Lomax had the unpleasant habit of retaining a hold upon a person with whom he was engaged in serious conversation ... a firm grip of the the lapel of Lord Caterham's coat."
In real life I have come across my fair share of sanguine who talked fast and furious. So far I have not been a captive audience of a compulsive talker like Lomax yet.
Thank goodness Elizabeth does not have this trait! But in The Secret of Chimneys by Agatha Christie, we find "Lomax had the unpleasant habit of retaining a hold upon a person with whom he was engaged in serious conversation ... a firm grip of the the lapel of Lord Caterham's coat."
In real life I have come across my fair share of sanguine who talked fast and furious. So far I have not been a captive audience of a compulsive talker like Lomax yet.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
(501) Personality plus by Florence Littauer
Since I brought up the four basic personalities in my last blog, I thought I would share a little on this book. Some neighbours moved away from my neighbourhood. They threw away a box of books. Sad to say, I didn't hear of it until too late. The garbage collector took them. A maid, who is my friend, rescued two and gave them to me. One I donated to my church library. The other is the above-mentioned.
I heard about this basic four personality grouping from Elizabeth's Kindergarten teacher. When my eldest went to work, he bought a book by Tim LaHaye: I think it was Spirit filled Temperaments. I flipped through most of the pages over a few years but perhaps because I was dense, I could not appreciate it.
Elizabeth is very introspective. She read Spirit filled temperaments more than once to search into her own make up. As she was reading Personality Plus, she read me numerous sections. This time I could see how it applies into my life and how it seemed to be describing some of my close friends. I hope it will give me an insight into the people whom I am trying to understand. And it will give me ideas as to motivating them to draw on God's gracious healing provision. To a greater or lesser extent, most of us are wounded people. Most of us in the church need healing before we can be effective in our unique ministries.
I heard about this basic four personality grouping from Elizabeth's Kindergarten teacher. When my eldest went to work, he bought a book by Tim LaHaye: I think it was Spirit filled Temperaments. I flipped through most of the pages over a few years but perhaps because I was dense, I could not appreciate it.
Elizabeth is very introspective. She read Spirit filled temperaments more than once to search into her own make up. As she was reading Personality Plus, she read me numerous sections. This time I could see how it applies into my life and how it seemed to be describing some of my close friends. I hope it will give me an insight into the people whom I am trying to understand. And it will give me ideas as to motivating them to draw on God's gracious healing provision. To a greater or lesser extent, most of us are wounded people. Most of us in the church need healing before we can be effective in our unique ministries.
(500) Movies - happy endings?
Elizabeth ended her temporary work at the legal firm. As youth meeting was cancelled today, she has the rare opportunity to indulge herself in a movie marathon.
She emerged from in front of the TV and DVD player to gulp down her breakfast. Meanwhile, she complained about movies that ended sadly. For one, she would not pay for any movie that did not end happily. In reply, I told her that the Hollywoods of this world run on box office cash. If the majority of the paying audience demand a realistic ending to most movies, directors and producers would comply. After all, money makes the world go round.
Even though we talk of sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and melancholic as 4 groups of personalities. In actual fact, I suspect that popular sanguine is well below one sixth of the population. We need lots of choleric, just like in a beehive we need thousands of worker bees. Elizabeth thinks she is more of a popular sanguine than a powerful choleric. She loves fairy tales and happy endings.
Looking back, I was probably a popular sanguine when I was a child. Since 18 I have deliberately decided to change. Now I am more of a phlegmatic looking on things happening from the fringe most of the time. In order to write, I guarded my time so that I have the peace and leisure to reflect in order to write down my thoughts and feelings. I need to learn to talk less, to listen and think more.
She emerged from in front of the TV and DVD player to gulp down her breakfast. Meanwhile, she complained about movies that ended sadly. For one, she would not pay for any movie that did not end happily. In reply, I told her that the Hollywoods of this world run on box office cash. If the majority of the paying audience demand a realistic ending to most movies, directors and producers would comply. After all, money makes the world go round.
Even though we talk of sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and melancholic as 4 groups of personalities. In actual fact, I suspect that popular sanguine is well below one sixth of the population. We need lots of choleric, just like in a beehive we need thousands of worker bees. Elizabeth thinks she is more of a popular sanguine than a powerful choleric. She loves fairy tales and happy endings.
Looking back, I was probably a popular sanguine when I was a child. Since 18 I have deliberately decided to change. Now I am more of a phlegmatic looking on things happening from the fringe most of the time. In order to write, I guarded my time so that I have the peace and leisure to reflect in order to write down my thoughts and feelings. I need to learn to talk less, to listen and think more.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
(499) Hacking stones
In Brisingr by Christopher Paolini, we find a stone forest in Mount Thardur. (page 418) The ancestor that found the stone forest had his masons chisel out nearly fifty trees. "It has also become a tradition to send troublesome offspring here to chisel out a tree or two while under the supervision of a master mason."
We could benefit from this today with our youth who are angry. Unspent anger often find outlets that either harm others or the person himself. But not many have the opportunity to chop trees or chisel stones. Most of us who get angry could speed on the highway or bang our computer desk.
We still have games. But only those with good co-ordination play games on a regular basis. Modern civilization does have its limitations!
We could benefit from this today with our youth who are angry. Unspent anger often find outlets that either harm others or the person himself. But not many have the opportunity to chop trees or chisel stones. Most of us who get angry could speed on the highway or bang our computer desk.
We still have games. But only those with good co-ordination play games on a regular basis. Modern civilization does have its limitations!
(498) Upbringing 53
Some children are like wild horses. When my brother went to school, my mother actually brought a cane to present to his teacher in front of him. She wisely told the teacher that the cane was meant for hitting my brother's arms and legs should my brother show disrespect. The middle age teacher was smart enough to place her hand on my brother's shoulder and said that she would be honoured to keep it to punish other pupils. She said that she was sure my brother would prove to be her best student, and he did. My brother was fortunate to be given an expert rider who knew how to break him in gently.
When Elizabeth went to school, she had some problems with the discipline of sitting for hours listening. When she was having disturbed sleep and dreaded going to school, I knew it was time to visit the class teacher. Remember that period of time I was visiting the public library at least once a week? I located a small volume of old folk tales and poems in the national language. Since it was out of print, I made two copies of it before returning. I brought one copy as a gift to Elizabeth's class. I must have a likely reason to visit without seeming to complain or spy. I know she would welcome the book because earlier she had copied a similar poem on the board as an exercise for the class to work on.
After presenting the copy, I told her how much I appreciate her effort in teaching my daughter literature at such a young age. Then I casually asked her if Elizabeth had been difficult or disobedient. She told me candidly that she really likes to teach my daughter as she is very quick to grasp concepts. Since Elizabeth is fast in finishing her work, she placed the girl next to a slower child to be helped. However, some times Elizabeth would stare at the teacher in a hostile manner. Since we are in Asia, the teacher wants to teach my child to look down instead of challenging an elder. Immediately I saw the problem.
The few nights after the visit, I enlisted the help of my older children. My bed time stories all involved a young maid meeting a King, a princess, a witch and a Premier. With my plots involving the actions of an untrained maid of tender years, and the reactions of the powers that be. The stories illustrates the terrible things that could happen to the young girl should there be no one to intervene. The persons to help the girl could be the Chamberlain, a lady in waiting, the black cat or an adviser. I remember Michael asking the right questions at the right points, and Keziah guessing the outcomes quite correctly. And we all awaited Elizabeth to state the moral of the fairy tale. By the fourth night she could tell me that it is not smart of her to look defiantly at her teacher, even if her teacher had been unfair in punishing her class. She could agree with me that at the tense moments, it is more prudent to look down and escape the wrath that would pass.
This stage of teaching took a few months, I did not push too hard. All in, I visited about four times. I learned to appreciate the commitment of this Grade One teacher. She had come to regard me as a friend. I am glad to say that from that point on, Elizabeth was quite a delight to her many teachers. She was particularly loved after we moved back to the capital, where the children of the upwardly mobile and brash new-wealth parents pale in comparison. Somehow a respectful spirit and humility in heart outshone any intellect, gifts, athletic prowess and leadership qualities.
When Elizabeth went to school, she had some problems with the discipline of sitting for hours listening. When she was having disturbed sleep and dreaded going to school, I knew it was time to visit the class teacher. Remember that period of time I was visiting the public library at least once a week? I located a small volume of old folk tales and poems in the national language. Since it was out of print, I made two copies of it before returning. I brought one copy as a gift to Elizabeth's class. I must have a likely reason to visit without seeming to complain or spy. I know she would welcome the book because earlier she had copied a similar poem on the board as an exercise for the class to work on.
After presenting the copy, I told her how much I appreciate her effort in teaching my daughter literature at such a young age. Then I casually asked her if Elizabeth had been difficult or disobedient. She told me candidly that she really likes to teach my daughter as she is very quick to grasp concepts. Since Elizabeth is fast in finishing her work, she placed the girl next to a slower child to be helped. However, some times Elizabeth would stare at the teacher in a hostile manner. Since we are in Asia, the teacher wants to teach my child to look down instead of challenging an elder. Immediately I saw the problem.
The few nights after the visit, I enlisted the help of my older children. My bed time stories all involved a young maid meeting a King, a princess, a witch and a Premier. With my plots involving the actions of an untrained maid of tender years, and the reactions of the powers that be. The stories illustrates the terrible things that could happen to the young girl should there be no one to intervene. The persons to help the girl could be the Chamberlain, a lady in waiting, the black cat or an adviser. I remember Michael asking the right questions at the right points, and Keziah guessing the outcomes quite correctly. And we all awaited Elizabeth to state the moral of the fairy tale. By the fourth night she could tell me that it is not smart of her to look defiantly at her teacher, even if her teacher had been unfair in punishing her class. She could agree with me that at the tense moments, it is more prudent to look down and escape the wrath that would pass.
This stage of teaching took a few months, I did not push too hard. All in, I visited about four times. I learned to appreciate the commitment of this Grade One teacher. She had come to regard me as a friend. I am glad to say that from that point on, Elizabeth was quite a delight to her many teachers. She was particularly loved after we moved back to the capital, where the children of the upwardly mobile and brash new-wealth parents pale in comparison. Somehow a respectful spirit and humility in heart outshone any intellect, gifts, athletic prowess and leadership qualities.
(497) Upbringing 52
Now that all my children are safely out of the school system, I finally can say my piece!
It is not unusual to read of a parent slapping or assaulting his or her child's teacher in the newspaper. Even if the teacher concerned has done the unforgivable, it is still wrong for any parent to touch the child's teacher. Such an act would destroy the child.
Let me bring up an instance:
A close friend of mine sent her children to a Chinese medium primary school. Such schools are well known for strict discipline. My friend's husband is well to do. He is a busy and important man. She is busy in her own right over a lot of concerns that may not help either of her children. Both children are disorganized. No one teach them to pack bags or how to keep track of important documents. One day he lost his fund raising card for the Scouts. Much as the house hold searched, it was not found. Perhaps it was really eaten by the puppy. This poor boy was called up at assembly and humiliated in front of the whole school. He came home crying, I think he was barely eight years old.
His father heard of it and went to school to complain about the inhuman punishment. The entire affair ended up with him endowing the school with quite big sum of donation. But the damage was done. Some teachers made it a point to pick on the son as someone not to be trusted. Others pointedly ignored him as they saw that the father was trying to bribe them. A few would be artificially sweet to him whenever it was school fund raising time as such schools need donations from well wishers and were not fully government funded.
A few years later, the parents had to pull both children out to place them in a private school. Both children developed very defensive attitudes and were difficult to teach. The boy was depressed by the jealousy of peers and angered by the treatment of his teachers.
In retrospect, a girl in Keziah's school lost her card, the girl's mother went to school to see the class teacher and apologised. They were fined less than a hundred dollars and the matter was settled. While a boy in Michael's school lost his card, he was required to make a police report. He was grilled in the Assistant Principle's room and he parted with what he remembered he had collected. Both these schools teach in the National language. Hence the difference in culture in student treatment.
It is not unusual to read of a parent slapping or assaulting his or her child's teacher in the newspaper. Even if the teacher concerned has done the unforgivable, it is still wrong for any parent to touch the child's teacher. Such an act would destroy the child.
Let me bring up an instance:
A close friend of mine sent her children to a Chinese medium primary school. Such schools are well known for strict discipline. My friend's husband is well to do. He is a busy and important man. She is busy in her own right over a lot of concerns that may not help either of her children. Both children are disorganized. No one teach them to pack bags or how to keep track of important documents. One day he lost his fund raising card for the Scouts. Much as the house hold searched, it was not found. Perhaps it was really eaten by the puppy. This poor boy was called up at assembly and humiliated in front of the whole school. He came home crying, I think he was barely eight years old.
His father heard of it and went to school to complain about the inhuman punishment. The entire affair ended up with him endowing the school with quite big sum of donation. But the damage was done. Some teachers made it a point to pick on the son as someone not to be trusted. Others pointedly ignored him as they saw that the father was trying to bribe them. A few would be artificially sweet to him whenever it was school fund raising time as such schools need donations from well wishers and were not fully government funded.
A few years later, the parents had to pull both children out to place them in a private school. Both children developed very defensive attitudes and were difficult to teach. The boy was depressed by the jealousy of peers and angered by the treatment of his teachers.
In retrospect, a girl in Keziah's school lost her card, the girl's mother went to school to see the class teacher and apologised. They were fined less than a hundred dollars and the matter was settled. While a boy in Michael's school lost his card, he was required to make a police report. He was grilled in the Assistant Principle's room and he parted with what he remembered he had collected. Both these schools teach in the National language. Hence the difference in culture in student treatment.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
(496) Language Learning
Although I had English classes in Elementary school, my English vocabulary was far less than 500 at age 13. How did I know that? It was because I borrowed a Enid Blyton Blue Dragon book from a classmate but could not understand it.
Many people found it difficult to believe that English was my weakest language for many years. I really worked long and hard at improving it. Lately I have been spending time watching documentaries to improve my pronunciation.
I used to carry a little pocket diary everywhere I went. In the diary I recorded every new English word I come across. Whenever I have any free time, I would check my small English-Chinese dictionary and record the meaning. If I happened to have friends with me who can help me, I would ask them how to pronounce the new word. Once I caught the pronunciation, I would say it ten times and then write it down in my own phonetic symbols. While waiting for buses, I would be reading this and committing everything to memory.
Every week I make myself read one English book. If that week was after exam, it would be a thicker book. Otherwise I would choose a thin simplified volume. Even if for whatever reason I missed reading a book, I would make up during the school holidays.
On Sunday I force myself to go through the Editor's commentary. It was laborious! First I read through the entire article, underlining words I have not learned. Next I would check for the meanings and write it next to the word as well as add it to my pocket diary. Then I would go through the article with the meanings in mind. Last of all, I would read the article aloud.
My uncle in China sent a small transistor radio when my grandma visited him. Every night at eleven o'clock I would listen to one hour of The Voice of America broadcast in bed. That tiny radio served me well for about three years. During the holidays I would tune to BBC or the Australia Broadcasting Corporation. My family was too poor to own a TV until my eldest sibling went out to work. Till this day I am not good at catching conversations in movies. I prefer to watch movies with subtitle in another language.
In school I would cultivate friends who would speak to me in English. I particularly appreciate Indian friends who speak English at home. They are good in English and most willing to help me.
From the age 14 to 18 I kept diaries. The earlier pages in my first diary were almost entirely in Chinese. By the time I hit 17, most of everything written was in English except a word here and there that I could not think of an English equivalent.
So you can see, my abilities are hard earned. It seemed worthwhile now as I can definitely reach a wider readership in English than Chinese.
Many people found it difficult to believe that English was my weakest language for many years. I really worked long and hard at improving it. Lately I have been spending time watching documentaries to improve my pronunciation.
I used to carry a little pocket diary everywhere I went. In the diary I recorded every new English word I come across. Whenever I have any free time, I would check my small English-Chinese dictionary and record the meaning. If I happened to have friends with me who can help me, I would ask them how to pronounce the new word. Once I caught the pronunciation, I would say it ten times and then write it down in my own phonetic symbols. While waiting for buses, I would be reading this and committing everything to memory.
Every week I make myself read one English book. If that week was after exam, it would be a thicker book. Otherwise I would choose a thin simplified volume. Even if for whatever reason I missed reading a book, I would make up during the school holidays.
On Sunday I force myself to go through the Editor's commentary. It was laborious! First I read through the entire article, underlining words I have not learned. Next I would check for the meanings and write it next to the word as well as add it to my pocket diary. Then I would go through the article with the meanings in mind. Last of all, I would read the article aloud.
My uncle in China sent a small transistor radio when my grandma visited him. Every night at eleven o'clock I would listen to one hour of The Voice of America broadcast in bed. That tiny radio served me well for about three years. During the holidays I would tune to BBC or the Australia Broadcasting Corporation. My family was too poor to own a TV until my eldest sibling went out to work. Till this day I am not good at catching conversations in movies. I prefer to watch movies with subtitle in another language.
In school I would cultivate friends who would speak to me in English. I particularly appreciate Indian friends who speak English at home. They are good in English and most willing to help me.
From the age 14 to 18 I kept diaries. The earlier pages in my first diary were almost entirely in Chinese. By the time I hit 17, most of everything written was in English except a word here and there that I could not think of an English equivalent.
So you can see, my abilities are hard earned. It seemed worthwhile now as I can definitely reach a wider readership in English than Chinese.
(495) My prof
I have a Computer lecturer whom I respected. One day we were talking about the difference between American and Chinese culture in the use of married and maiden name. Upon marriage, my college friend changed her bank account and driver's license to her husband's family name. Whereas I would retain my father's family name in my passport, driver's license and any legal ID. And I asked if her surname was her ex-husband's or her father's.
Apparently she kept her husband's name until her younger child was twenty one. Then she reverted to her father's name. It was interesting that her divorce was amicable. She just got to the point she could not go on as an appendage of her ex. She chose marriage and children. Yet she did not give up working. It was not easy to survive in the IT field. As soon as she obtained her Master's, she opted for college teaching. That eliminated overtime and traveling on business. All the while she was married, she kept immaculate house and cooked like the ladies in Woman's Weekly. Being a serious lecturer who gives her best, having no household help and being a hands-on mother as well as a good wife who entertains to further her husband's ambition, she had hardly a moment to call her own.
She laughed when she related how she used to chew her sandwich in the car and used her lunch hour to scrub her Master bedroom toilet and bath so as to ensure her husband had a clean and dry bathroom to use at all times. I could not believe my ears: that seemed so unlike what I expected from an American woman. Now that I have been married a quarter of a century, I do see childhood friends who would do anything to keep their married state.
It is sad that the more a woman bends to suit her husband, the more her man seems to demand. My lecturer reached a stage where if she continue to bend, she would either lose her sanity or her identity and become her husband's slave. She stopped, applied for sabbatical and took her children to her place of research for the summer. After having some leisure and a stock-take of her busy life, she talked her ex into a no fault divorce. They have joint custody of the children, she kept them during term time and he kept them during the holidays, at least until he remarried and begot other children. He actually remarried as soon as the divorce was final. That makes me wonder if he had been cheating his wife on the side. My lecturer was still single when I met her. It was refreshing that there was no bitterness in her. She was grateful that her marriage to that man produced two lovely off springs. She felt that her life was full and she had no regrets.
Apparently she kept her husband's name until her younger child was twenty one. Then she reverted to her father's name. It was interesting that her divorce was amicable. She just got to the point she could not go on as an appendage of her ex. She chose marriage and children. Yet she did not give up working. It was not easy to survive in the IT field. As soon as she obtained her Master's, she opted for college teaching. That eliminated overtime and traveling on business. All the while she was married, she kept immaculate house and cooked like the ladies in Woman's Weekly. Being a serious lecturer who gives her best, having no household help and being a hands-on mother as well as a good wife who entertains to further her husband's ambition, she had hardly a moment to call her own.
She laughed when she related how she used to chew her sandwich in the car and used her lunch hour to scrub her Master bedroom toilet and bath so as to ensure her husband had a clean and dry bathroom to use at all times. I could not believe my ears: that seemed so unlike what I expected from an American woman. Now that I have been married a quarter of a century, I do see childhood friends who would do anything to keep their married state.
It is sad that the more a woman bends to suit her husband, the more her man seems to demand. My lecturer reached a stage where if she continue to bend, she would either lose her sanity or her identity and become her husband's slave. She stopped, applied for sabbatical and took her children to her place of research for the summer. After having some leisure and a stock-take of her busy life, she talked her ex into a no fault divorce. They have joint custody of the children, she kept them during term time and he kept them during the holidays, at least until he remarried and begot other children. He actually remarried as soon as the divorce was final. That makes me wonder if he had been cheating his wife on the side. My lecturer was still single when I met her. It was refreshing that there was no bitterness in her. She was grateful that her marriage to that man produced two lovely off springs. She felt that her life was full and she had no regrets.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
(494) Subjugation
Our accountant friend was making a phone call during our high tea. She sounded harassed and was trying to find out details for her own appointment later in the evening. Once her call ended, Mei asked why did she not know what she was supposed to do with the client in her own meeting?
The reply was that her husband made the appointment for her. He told her about it as soon as he reached home the day before. At that time she was working at her computer and could not leave the program. As he was telling her, he kept walking away and she could not hear what he said after he turned a corner and walked into the kitchen. She concentrated on her own task and thought she would ask him later. When she looked for him, he was taking a bath. Next they were having dinner and other issues with the children claimed their attention. She forgot all about it until the following afternoon.
Comments were made. It seemed that all the women gathered there have at one time or other had to run after their husband to make sure they do not miss out on important information. One or two of them hated to have to off cooking fire to go ask for missing info. Others often had to switch off the electric iron to leave the room to hear the rest of the instructions. Lily was the only "smarty pants" who has actually found a way to make the husband finish the conversation before walking off.
Guess what was the reaction of the accountant? She thought it wrong of Lily to "bully" her husband! I am too lazy to go and look up the proper term : there is a word that describes women using age, money, power, authority, peer pressure ... to subjugate other women and make sure that every other woman suffer the same fate as an unfortunate victim. It is one thing to be subjugated willingly oneself: that probably was the price of being married (which is not unusual at all around here). It is quite another to willfully and systematically use words to victimize or subjugate other women!
The reply was that her husband made the appointment for her. He told her about it as soon as he reached home the day before. At that time she was working at her computer and could not leave the program. As he was telling her, he kept walking away and she could not hear what he said after he turned a corner and walked into the kitchen. She concentrated on her own task and thought she would ask him later. When she looked for him, he was taking a bath. Next they were having dinner and other issues with the children claimed their attention. She forgot all about it until the following afternoon.
Comments were made. It seemed that all the women gathered there have at one time or other had to run after their husband to make sure they do not miss out on important information. One or two of them hated to have to off cooking fire to go ask for missing info. Others often had to switch off the electric iron to leave the room to hear the rest of the instructions. Lily was the only "smarty pants" who has actually found a way to make the husband finish the conversation before walking off.
Guess what was the reaction of the accountant? She thought it wrong of Lily to "bully" her husband! I am too lazy to go and look up the proper term : there is a word that describes women using age, money, power, authority, peer pressure ... to subjugate other women and make sure that every other woman suffer the same fate as an unfortunate victim. It is one thing to be subjugated willingly oneself: that probably was the price of being married (which is not unusual at all around here). It is quite another to willfully and systematically use words to victimize or subjugate other women!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
(493) Enmeshed
I learned one new term today. "Enmeshed". When a family is so dependent on each other that they do not keep in touch with any other close relatives.
It is good for a family to be close knit. However, it is not good nor healthy to have a enmeshed family. Let us look at an example. A man graduated with a engineering degree. Once he has some working experience, he started a firm with two friends. Meanwhile, he married his high school sweet heart. Through the years, his business prospered. His family is blessed with two boys and two girls.
They moved a few times, each time to a bigger and more luxurious house. The children grew up, each a graduate in their own right. The family takes yearly vacations. They go everywhere together. If the parents could not persuade the children to go anywhere, nobody goes. Lets say it was all soul's day, they could elect to go back to visit and clear the graves of their parents. As the children grow up, they became more reluctant to go back to their parents' home town. After a while, none from this family turned up anymore for grave visits.
There are five siblings of this father, he is really only in close touch with his only sister. And it was actually the sister that was making the effort to visit them. The rest of his brothers, if they meet at all, it is during Chinese New Year. Apart from his siblings, he nor his children are in touch with anybody else (not uncles, not aunties, not cousins ...). This is very unusual in Asia, where kins are an important part of one's family and identity. This enmeshed family is like an island floating in the ocean of community. I guess they would not know any of their neighbours either.
Do you belong to an enmashed family? Family members should be each independent individuals, then each member of the close knit family is inter depedent on each other. That would be a healthy model of a happy family.
It is good for a family to be close knit. However, it is not good nor healthy to have a enmeshed family. Let us look at an example. A man graduated with a engineering degree. Once he has some working experience, he started a firm with two friends. Meanwhile, he married his high school sweet heart. Through the years, his business prospered. His family is blessed with two boys and two girls.
They moved a few times, each time to a bigger and more luxurious house. The children grew up, each a graduate in their own right. The family takes yearly vacations. They go everywhere together. If the parents could not persuade the children to go anywhere, nobody goes. Lets say it was all soul's day, they could elect to go back to visit and clear the graves of their parents. As the children grow up, they became more reluctant to go back to their parents' home town. After a while, none from this family turned up anymore for grave visits.
There are five siblings of this father, he is really only in close touch with his only sister. And it was actually the sister that was making the effort to visit them. The rest of his brothers, if they meet at all, it is during Chinese New Year. Apart from his siblings, he nor his children are in touch with anybody else (not uncles, not aunties, not cousins ...). This is very unusual in Asia, where kins are an important part of one's family and identity. This enmeshed family is like an island floating in the ocean of community. I guess they would not know any of their neighbours either.
Do you belong to an enmashed family? Family members should be each independent individuals, then each member of the close knit family is inter depedent on each other. That would be a healthy model of a happy family.
(492) Upbringing 51
I was in a crowded place. A child was running around. She came to an abrupt stop between me and the person I was exchanging pleasantries with. Before she turned around and run on away from me, she threw a fleeting glance at me.
In that glance, she imbued it with feelings. "Now, why did you stand there and block my way? Can't you see I was heading towards you?" She was almost angry, very frustrated that this "blockhead" (me) who chose to block her rather than walking on to make way for her. There was a tinge of regret that she was one tenth my size and could not afford to knock smack into me.
Later, I fell into a conversation with her mother. I mentioned casually that her daughter reminded me of Elizabeth at that age. It was the strong will, the purposefulness, and the decisiveness that I picked up on. Quite a number of adults did not like that in Elizabeth and told me so. Even when Elizabeth was two years old, I knew what I was dealing with. I chose to see it as good raw ingredients to work with. With time, with prayers, with a lot of hard work, she became what she is today. It was all to God's glory.
I used books to shape her character. This little girl's mum fasts and prays regularly for God to change her little girl. It has been working for her. Everyone has his or her own preference. I, for one, am not inclined to fast unless it is a half day fast for my country or to make a major personal decision. I am impressed that another woman is so completely dependent and humble before the Lord. But which ever way, we all try our level best. The rest is really up to God.
In that glance, she imbued it with feelings. "Now, why did you stand there and block my way? Can't you see I was heading towards you?" She was almost angry, very frustrated that this "blockhead" (me) who chose to block her rather than walking on to make way for her. There was a tinge of regret that she was one tenth my size and could not afford to knock smack into me.
Later, I fell into a conversation with her mother. I mentioned casually that her daughter reminded me of Elizabeth at that age. It was the strong will, the purposefulness, and the decisiveness that I picked up on. Quite a number of adults did not like that in Elizabeth and told me so. Even when Elizabeth was two years old, I knew what I was dealing with. I chose to see it as good raw ingredients to work with. With time, with prayers, with a lot of hard work, she became what she is today. It was all to God's glory.
I used books to shape her character. This little girl's mum fasts and prays regularly for God to change her little girl. It has been working for her. Everyone has his or her own preference. I, for one, am not inclined to fast unless it is a half day fast for my country or to make a major personal decision. I am impressed that another woman is so completely dependent and humble before the Lord. But which ever way, we all try our level best. The rest is really up to God.
(491) Blood sugar level
A normal person could eat three meals a day and a reasonable amount of dessert daily. We need to eat to live.
A friend of mine is diabetic. She does not take anything sweet, not even a thin slice of another person's birthday cake. It was her birthday last week. Another friend made a not so sweet jelly cake to celebrate the former's birthday. She took a small piece, and I mean it could hardly be any smaller.
An hour later she was giddy from a sugar spike. She lie down and rub ointment on her forehead. No one expected her to react so. Apparently, she had breakfast very early. By the time she ate the jelly, it went into an empty stomach. When she was totally out, it was actually lunch time. Yet she was too unwell to get up to eat anything.
Now I know why some individuals, with parents who are severely diabetic, avoid dessert and sweet things like plague.
A friend of mine is diabetic. She does not take anything sweet, not even a thin slice of another person's birthday cake. It was her birthday last week. Another friend made a not so sweet jelly cake to celebrate the former's birthday. She took a small piece, and I mean it could hardly be any smaller.
An hour later she was giddy from a sugar spike. She lie down and rub ointment on her forehead. No one expected her to react so. Apparently, she had breakfast very early. By the time she ate the jelly, it went into an empty stomach. When she was totally out, it was actually lunch time. Yet she was too unwell to get up to eat anything.
Now I know why some individuals, with parents who are severely diabetic, avoid dessert and sweet things like plague.
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