(490) Individuality

I went for a lady's coffee morning gathering. Four of us were in the kitchen. Amelia made coffee for herself using a mug. Betty made tea in a mug too. I made coffee in a teacup while Dorothy made tea in a teacup.

We looked at each other and noticed no one did anything alike. Amelia is of the opinion that coffee should be made in a mug. Well, she said we call coffee mug and not tea mug. Betty likes to have a mug of tea so she does not have to add water to a shallow teacup. I am having a taste of coffee and limiting my caffeine intake.  Dorothy is like a properly trained English lady who does not fancy tea in any other vessel.

Well, one man's meat is another's poison. More often than not, we have different ways of doing things. While we have our preferences, it will be good to respect and allow others room to be different.

(489) Eldest by Christopher Paolini

This is not a review. I read the book and Elva brought back childhood memories. Since memories are flitting, it helps to document it while it lasts.

Elva was mentioned a few times. Eragon and Saphira "blessed" her as a baby. Although everything was done with good intentions, the mistake made in wording shielded as shield turned the blessing into a curse.

When I was young, I must have been an exceptional child. A number of the gifts I was born with which frightened me most are no longer with me. Don't ask me what happened! I don't remember. Somehow I must have switched them off. Looking at my children and my deceased father, I must have had a tape recorder database and a photocopier memory at birth. With no training, I was good at putting things together to draw conclusions that later turned out to be true. Now, with hind sight, I see it as exceptional logical and analytical skills. Everything seemed to work on a sub-conscious level. I have known since very young that I was not like the rest of the children around me. I didn't like it. I thought it was being abnormal. Now I know that it was being super normal. Those were blessings and assets, not curses.

Anyway, when one is handed a lemon, one can make lemonade, right? I am adding sugar now to whatever innate intuition and ability I still have to help my "tribe" -- the group of folks with different learning styles.

(488) Extra ordinary favour

A friend told me this real incident.

A missionary kid was applying for a visa to enter the United States of America. She was attending an International School and her transcript from Grade 1 onwards was in a database in USA. From thousands of children, she was a lucky one among many to be chosen to attend a leadership conference in America. Since she has just completed Grade 11, she thought she might as well go and look at a few campuses. Food and lodging for the conference would be sponsored. There are family friends to receive her at the airport. Another close family friend would pay for her airfare. It looks like she is all set.

In the Pacific island they resides, apparently it takes three months to apply for a visa. They filled in all the relevant forms and applied. There was an application fee. They were directed to pay through a certain British bank. This missionary family does not own any bank account in this bank. For convenience sake, a friend paid on their behalf. Right after the payment, that friend went abroad. Perhaps it was remiss for both party, no one thought of passing the bank receipt to the person applying for the visa.

In due time, this teenager was called for an interview. Looking at the document list, they realized that they lack the bank receipt. What to do? They just prayed and committed everything to God. On the actual day, the parents dropped her at the embassy gate. No parent was allowed to accompany the interviewee. She went in with trepidation. It was stated that clearing security may take 45 minutes. It was a surprise that she cleared security after 5 minutes. The interview was expected to last 2 hours. A receptionist checked through the stack of documents. The missing receipt was duly noted. She waited to be called.

And she waited. People who came before her was called. Folks who came after her was called. Half an hour passed. She was nervous. Forty five minutes went by. Her hands started sweating. Her turn came. She was called to go to the most intimidating interviewer. By this time, she was almost in a panic. She prayed and took a deep breath. Walking to the far counter, she greeted the interviewing officer and sat down.

Lo and behold! The interviewer smiled at her and asked her a few routine questions. Then he went out of his way to help her by offering to give her a one year multiple entry visa. Further to that, he went on to advise her to request for letters of invitation from the colleges she plans to visit. Otherwise, she may have problems clearing immigration on arrival.

It was extraordinary favour from God.

(487) Zelda's prince charming

Remember my friend Zelda? I sat and prayed with her through her mission trip in London. I also sat with her through her internet courting through a Christian website. I must have looked at more than fifty photographs of men. So have I gone through looking at all kinds of possibles pursuing her for months, none of them lasted.

I have come to be rather philosophical about her would be marriage. In my head, I separate people into the marrying and the non-marrying kind. Maybe, in spite of all she said, she belongs to the second group.

Guess what I heard today? She has prayed and received her answer. If her most recent possible furnishes all personal details and come to her and all information given tallied, then she will say yes. I was shocked! He, judging from one photograph, is not really good looking. Perhaps to do him justice, I would say that he looks pleasant. This person has little materially. Not that I would look for a millionaire to marry, but I would not choose one of the poorest either. This person towers over her in height and weighs twice her weight. I know that she saw a tall and large man in her dream. But double her weight? One good point is she can abandon her weight watching and eat, for she would still be petite standing next to him.

Truly, I admire her guts and adventurous spirit. She prayed for a husband who would partner her in mission work. And if this guy persists and is checked to be genuine, she is ready to marry him this year and follow him to the ends of the world to declare the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Amazing!

Please read (9), (994), (749), (361), (383), (401), (520)

(486) Being Observant

A few days ago I went out with a neighbour. Mrs Tee went to drop one child for a tutoring session. Then we went to a food court so her other child could have dinner. Next thing that happened is that Junior with a full tummy was dropped. We sat in the car chatting until the first child emerged from the tutoring center with a stream of students.

We had a delicious dinner and then proceeded to shop for the first child. Interestingly, as we were chatting about everyday things in the neighbourhood, names were attached to neighbors we know by recognition. There is this house where two sisters live. The elder one has two sons while the younger one has one son. I had to describe which is which. The first child with whom I was having a meal, is a girl of 16, commented that my neighbour the younger sister has a very respectful, filial son. I was really taken aback.

For I know that these two young people were not even nodding acquintance. Our houses are positioned in such a way that we can see each other coming in and going out. Ha! Here is an observant girl who is a good judge of character.

I tried to look back to the year I was 16. I don't remember any near neighbour with a twenty year old son. Even if there was, I probably won't notice much as I was running in and out of the house busy with school activities.

Now that I am interested, I must keep in touch with this neighbour. Some day I would like to see if  the girl make good use of her skill in selecting a good husband.

(485) Computer Search

One day before Elizabeth started on her temporary job, she asked me if there is any one I wanted to locate. So I named  one person who seemed to have her act together in my senior year. We'll call her Jane here.

Lo and behold, my daughter actually found Jane as part of the faculty in one of the nearby colleges not too far from my alma mater. She worked for the Government for a time until she qualified to lecture. No, I did not contact her. It is not that I don't like her. Just that I know very little about Jane. She was smart, attractive, had a boyfriend studying far away and just seemed to be so cool. She was a far better student that I was. Whenever I got stressed, she welcomed me to sit in her room to listen to classical music which would sooth my trouble soul. We seldom talk, as she was a reflective person and when I was troubled, I seldom talk.

This led me to wonder, if any of my old friends wanted to locate me; would they be able to find me on line? No! My son said. And he ought to know, as he is the most IT savvy person in my family. The reason is I have ceased to use the given name my parents gave me. I chose a new name, something no one expected me to choose. Also I adopted my husband's family name, even though most Chinese women do not in this part of the world (especially Chinese educated ones, and I was instructed in classical literature right up to 18 years old).

An old friend asked me why? She noticed I have effectively cut away my past. I am no longer the person I used to be. I have given up a lot of things I held dear to my heart, more than just a successful career, when I chose marriage and children. For I know that bringing up my children would exclude a vocation and personal ambition. And I also know that by the time all my children are grown and gone, I would be quite an authority in the field of bringing out the best of special children. Hence forth, I owe it to the many people who have suffered a frustrated childhood (due to one reason or another, as there is little awareness about learning disability in many parts of the world) to make my findings available if they are searching for it. I don't know exactly who reads my blog. Just like you don't know much about me(not my real name and particulars). But if you have read all three hundred over postings of mine, you should know me very well.

But whoever you are, if week in and week out you come in to catch up on my tale, I appreciate your tenacity. If you care enough to follow me real time, I must be writing something that is important and close to your heart. I thank you for your confidence in me. All I have is a liberal arts degree and many years of experience in bringing up my unique children.

(484) One way Broadcast

Using the statistics function of Blogger as well as Google Analytics, I was able piece together some information about my faithful readers.

You come from 36 countries: (recorded in the order the first reader from one country reads my blog) Malaysia, Russia,USA, Canada, Slovenia, Denmark, Germany, China, UK, Sweden, France, Japan, Macedonia, Italy, Ireland, Spain, Kenya, Poland, Australia, Netherlands, Colombia, Slovakia, South Africa. Ukraine, Brasil, Indonesia, India, Greece, Sri Lanka, Philippines, Romania, Singapore, Pakistan, Iran, Austria, and Taiwan.

The top ten countries my readers come from are: USA(1004 pageviews), Malaysia, Canada, France, Germany, Russia, UK, Slovenia, India, Japan(18 page views).

At last count last week, I have 2 real time readers from USA, 2 from M'sia, 1 from India and 1 from Germany. I wonder if they keep their computers on 24 hours a day, both in the office and at home. Do you read my blog from computer screen, I-pad or hand phone? Should I customise the layout of my blog to fit a smaller screen?

Do folks sleep? Whether I blog in the morning, afternoon, evening, night or at three o'clock in the morning, these six readers would appear within one or two hours at most, regardless of time zones. Do people keep their hand phone on throughout the night? It is most interesting that a writer that avoids hand phone finds that such technology keeps people up to date round the clock in touch with this blog. I salute you, reading warriors who sleep little.

(483) A Corner of the Universe by Ann M. Martin

First I will list every book mentioned that was written by Ann.
Bummer Summer 1980
At least four books: The Baby-sitters Club
Leo the Magnificent (picture book)
P.S. Longer Letter Later n Snail Mail No More ( Co-authored with Paula Danziger)
The Doll People n The Meanest Doll in the World (Co-authored with Laura Godwin)
Belle Teal (a Publisher's Weekly Best Book of the Year)
Here Today
A Corner of the Universe (a Newberry Honour Book)
A Dog's Life

In (474) I have written my two cents worth of my response to Here Today. Here I want to state that "A Corner of the Universe" is the most touching book I read in 2011. Considering books that I have borrowed and read that I have nothing to write about, this is probably ranked number one in at least 100.

If you have a special child as a sibling, off spring, niece or nephew, grandchild, ... Please go to Amazon or a Book Swap site to locate "A Corner of the Universe". It will show you a side of a special child or adult that you have never thought about.

I have known that I was one of the "freaks" since age 21. But I was intelligent enough and act well enough to pass off as kind of normal for years. Adam could tell the day of the week for any day we care to name. His parents forbid him to exibit that ability because it was like a circus trick. 

Looking at the way Ann described Adam, he could have been born autistic but did not adjust well and later became a schizophrenic. It did not help that his father was a prosperous lawyer and the mother is the richest woman in town from a long line of a proud family.

What do we measure as valuable in a person? Normality? Intelligence? A good heart? Wealth? Popularity? Fame? Special abilities? An average person who is loving and loyal? Faithfulness? Or are we able to accept and love another just because he or she is created by a God who makes no mistakes?

(481) Gold Mountain

This a real incident. It illustrates that for even a not too desirable property, if we can find the right buyer, we will get a good price for it.

Madam Lee bought a new house. She did not visit the building site. She went to the developer's sales office, look at the map that said little to her. Probably mumbled to herself, "innie minnie myni mo" and draw a "x" in the exact middle of a long row of houses. Her husband dutifully released funds as the letters come. Then the certificate of fitness is out, they sent an office boy to collect the keys with an official letter. It was their friend, Mrs Tan, that told them their new house faces a hill.

Madam Lee and her husband must be the coolest property owner in town. They did not blink an eye lid. Neither did they lose any sleep over the so called unsaleable new house. They figured if it couldn't be sold or rented out, they would move there.

A year or so later, a real estate agent tracked them down some how and asked if they want to sell it. The husband went to show it and quoted a price that was higher than the market price by twenty thousand. Some how he was not too keen to part with it. Surprisingly, the potential buyer agreed immediately. A few days later, the sellers and the buyers met and sign the sale and purchase agreement. Guess what is the buyer's name? It was Lau Kim San. That could mean keep the golden mountain.

By Chinese Fung Sui, that is the perfect house for Mr. Lau to live in.

(480) Do not talk to Strangers

When I was young, very few parents in my country own private vehicles. I used to walk, take public or school buses to and from schools. My mother's golden rule is: Do not talk to strangers. Who are the strangers? The people who were waiting at the bus stop. The bus drivers whom we see day in day out. The bus conductors and pedestrians that go out onto the main roads at the same time in the morning.

This is forty years later. I still teach all my children the same rule. Does this rule apply to a middle age woman? What do you think?

There is a neighbour who takes taxi often. She takes the long distance bus to a far away city often due to work. Sometimes she leaves early at sunrise, other times she comes back after mid-night. There is no way she could take the city bus as those times were out of the normal schedule. Once she decided to take a specific radio taxi, another neighbour advised her not to be too friendly to the male driver. I actually told her that I would not want such a person to know too much about me.

This is like a year or so later. She herself is getting nervous as the taxi driver started to ask her out. Just the other day he even asked her for a loan. She feels very unsafe as he knows where she lives and he has her hand phone number.

"A stranger" may be a person we see regularly but know little about. He lives from the periphery in the darkness. We live in the light. It is easy for them to find us. If too much information falls into their hands, we are then afraid that they would use it to harm us. So it is by far safer to keep strangers at arm's length.

(479) Basic Precaution

I have a friend who lives alone in an apartment. A few weeks after she moved in, a dark skin man kept ringing her door bell one night at mid-night. She was really frightened.

As soon as she brought this up, one of us suggested that she keep men's shoes in a visible manner in front of her wooden door.  Another bright spark told her that since the next block is close enough to look into her windows, it is better to keep all curtains close before sun set so that people in the opposite block won't be able to tell that she lives alone.

After she keeps to what was suggested, the harassment did not recur.

(478) Friendship

Imagine three women: A, B and C. If A likes B, C also likes B, what are the chances that A and C would be friends? In the land of friendship, they may be. But in real life, they usually are not.

I have known Annie for four years. Cathy moved to the area three years ago. I get along with both of them. They met, gone out with each other for a few times. Annie was more up front with me. She felt that if Cathy expected her to listen to problems and asked for advice; then it would be a waste of Annie's time if Cathy did not change. I view things a little differently. It is easier to listen and empathize. What I see as a solution may not be so to Cathy. If I have the time, I would listen and not expect any changes. Only God changes people.

Recently I found that they avoided each other. Finally Cathy explained to me it was Annie's pride that caused her to seek out others to befriend. I suppose I see Annie's pride as a defense mechanism. The only time she was not proud (that I have seen) was also the time she was depressed and suicidal.

There are tens of thousands of people in a city. We have the opportunity to pick and choose our friends. From this incident, I learn the precious lesson that it is easier that my friends from different spheres do not mix.

(477) Being forgetful/ Upbringing 49

It was a very small thing. One evening I fetched Elizabeth from work. She craved for oily snack and I only agreed to one tiny pack of coconut rice. The seller offered a plastic bag but I refused with a smile. This particular stall wrapped its rice with banana leaf and newspaper.

When we reached home, I passed that precious pack to her and I went on to carry two bagfuls of recyclable junk from the trunk to sort at home. We entered and went to bathe. It was a hot evening and I enjoyed my cold shower. Elizabeth merely turned her body heater down by changing into home clothes. Then we laid the table only to realize our store bought food was left in the car, we did have some food that I cooked before I went to fetch her.

I was puzzled! Now how could I get that forgetful? Then Elizabeth said that the packet of coconut rice represented food and subconsciously we both thought we brought every item of bought dinner home. You probably would not find such a pair of sillies round and about in miles. It is a good thing that both of us know well that we often would act like that. Neither was angry with the other. Should my husband or any of my other children be around, any one of them would instantly realize their dinner was placed at the back seat. Only Elizabeth and I could be that oblivious. We had a good laugh over it!

Should you have a spouse or a child like us, please do not lose your cool. Our brain is merely wired a little differently. We really could not help it. It is ironic that I could remember things for years: anything that I stored for future teaching or writing, anything linked to learning disability ... And Elizabeth is excellent at remembering music, lyrics, singers, bands, composers, and can play hundreds if not thousands of whatever music pieces she likes from memory.

My dad used to get really upset with me over little things like that. He was perfectly normal and could remember all he needed and connect things in whatever way required. For years I felt abnormal and belittled. It was funny that my mum readily admitted that she was not clever like my dad and tolerated all my quirks with graciousness. I was very fortunate that my mum treats me exactly the same as my siblings who do not have my weaknesses.

(476) Preparing for imminent recession

Just yesterday Elizabeth came back and explained excitedly to me why her boss took every case that came to the door regardless if there was man power to deal with it. No! It was not greed. It was not to torture the employees. It seemed that all economic indicators showed an imminent recession.

During the 1997 recession, this boss was a chambering student. Apparently it went for months without any selling or buying of property. Employees with no work went to dig out old files, they traced their old clients and offered to change the name of their properties' electric or water supply. For many months, that was the only income the firm could earn. If the principals did not set aside reserves, retrenchments would be inevitable.

It is just too bad that a temporary staff like Elizabeth was worked to the maximum for the common good of her colleagues. Come slow down and the cessation of speculated fueled trading of properties, then the entire firm would relax and feed on what they worked so hard to accumulate for the rainy season.

(475) Insult Fermenter

Book name : The Race for the lost key stone
Author        : Val Rutt
Publisher     : Puffin

I am not reviewing this book. I am borrowing a term the author cooked up. Many things written in the book are like scientific fantasies. But I like the idea of an insult fermenter. In the story contempt was stored in this gadget that "ferment" and enlarged it to be released as a weapon to hit a bad guy.

Ordinarily, I would laugh and go on. But a few days before I read this children's book, I received an SOS from a friend. By the time I got the message and gotten in touch, other unofficial support network already helped her to overcome the crisis. Now you get the idea why I don't carry hand phones. Then I would not be thrust into a difficult situation of handling a few things at a time. I am not a multi-task person.

I have had my own share of sibling rivalry. Being the only girl with brothers, I must have been toughened in the process of being knocked and pushed about. So when I listened to my friend's reaction to her recent trauma: having an overseas sibling staying in her house on a short visit and having another sibling who acts like a tyrant  that breathe down her neck. I know it was not funny. But seriously what transpired amounted to just unreasonable demands. But the reaction: I saw hysterics, uncontrolled emotions that should not have arisen out of such trivial happenings.

For days I mulled over the inequality of action and reactions. The reactions seemed inappropriately large for the provocations. Then one day while taking a bath, I saw how an enlarged bubble popped and "click!" a linkage was made in my mind. Perhaps long ago things did happen in a bad way, our youngest girl(my friend) did not receive any protection from her busy parents. All the hurt, trauma, insult, condescension, humiliation, and whatever explosive emotions were released years later after many magnifications, then it is possible to understand how big and bad the explosion was.

(474) Here Today by Ann M. Martin

This is another book published by Scholastic. When one of Elizabeth's old high school mates had a house warming party, she borrowed a big bagful. I am very thankful for generous folks who share their collection with me. There is no way I could get hold of such books. All my children have gone past high school. Such books are not sold through book distributors.

While I was in the United States, many a times the older folks talked about what they were doing that day when J.F. Kennedy was asassinated. It seemed that act stopped a nation and it was well remembered years later. In Here Today, the mother Doris' life was changed by her reaction to the tragic event.

Doris came from working class parents. As soon as she could, she escaped from small town life by marrying someone who could take her to a bigger town. By marrying young, she had three children at a relatively young age. She strived and worked hard at keeping trim and looking beautiful. While her children were young, she kept at acting, taking classes and worked at getting herself commercial and modeling jobs. After seeing the life of the President cut short in a moment, she cut loose and went to New York city to try breaking into the acting scene.

Things in NYC was more difficult than she thought. She did not give up. Instead, she went home on a weekday to remove her summer clothes so that she could relocate to Hollywood. While all these things were happening, her eldest daughter was being bullied unmercifully in school. That poor girl had to care for her younger siblings and her father on top of her own school work. Meanwhile that small community had to deal with hate crime and vandalism linked to prejudice.

This could be used to open a dialogue with a sensitive child over the topic of school bullying, social prejudice, self- centreness of any individuals and how a person deals with such behavior.

(473) Matured students

That day I met a colleague of my daughter's. She is a fifty two year old who is qualifying herself for law studies. At the moment she is working to get the required A-levels to get into Law.

This brought to mind my final year floor mate: a 67 year old college student. Her husband passed away after some illness. By then all her children were scattered all over the United States. She had been a licensed tutor to deal with students who require special one to one attention. She simply mortgaged her house and started to earn the college degree she gave up after marriage and children. She completed her first degree as a full time student. A few years later she earned her Masters as a part-time student.

If a person really wants to further his or her education, there is really no insurmountable barrier. Age is not a limitation. Finance could be worked out. But I suppose it is harder to work full time and study part time all at once.

(472) The love of money

I was having a long chat with a wise old friend. When topic turned to the influence of TV over children, I discovered for the first time that he and his wife brought up four children in the nation's affluent capital with no television in the house. I have great respect for families who could resist the idiot box.

We talked about passing down values to our next generation. At which point I told him about an eight year old girl who talks about nothing except luxuries and expensive flashy things in the home. Since there is nothing wrong with being rich enough to live in a well equipped and decorated comfortably big house, how can such parents avoid bringing up children who are too money faced?

He said that the parents of this child must have subtly passed on what I have seen in the child. Examples are like changing cars every two years, each time for a more expensive model. There is really no real need to change a car until it reaches four or five years. Perhaps the lady of the house changes her curtains every year, even before the curtains have a chance to age...

It turned out that he was right. The next time I saw the girl, she was showing off by telling another person that she has many hand phones. Now, pray tell me why a mother needs to buy more than two hand phones for one child? Unless each time dad and mum changes hand phone, the girl collected them all. If the girl attends a government school, she is not allowed to bring hand phones to school anyway. Even in a private school, hand phones are kept in a locked box during class room hours. It is ok to work hard and build up wealth. There is nothing wrong to enjoy one's wealth. But if a person worships either the wealth or the luxuries that wealth brings, it is inevitable that they may beget children like my show-off girl.

(471) Friends

I have two friends, one from school days (Mei)  and one I met as a young mother (Swee).

My son once asked me if I keep the knowledge about dyslexia from my friends. The answer is determined by whether the person needs to know it. As soon as I graduated and returned, I tried to tell Mei. She did not believe me until many years later. Looking back, I can see why people from my elementary school would laugh and humour me. I was so very good in Chinese, particularly writing, that cause every teacher who have taught me to shake their heads when they found that I was going to switch to English and the national language stream in High School. My Headmistress actually sourced for a scholarship for me that would last 10 years until I was to graduate from a Taiwan University. I was young enough and dumb enough to turn it down.

It was twenty five years later, when Mei's second child went abroad, she finally had the time to attend an extended seminar to find out why it was terrifically difficult to teach the affected child. At the end of the seminar, she called and asked me what kind of symptoms that I have not been able to correct in Elizabeth. At that moment I could only think of  was that she finds it difficult in associating events to any specific date. She really needs to carry a calendar. Without the date and days (Mon or Wednesday) in front of her, she could not tell even how it is linked to today. Finally Mei had to admit that I haven't been lying all these years. From the age of three, Elizabeth has been an excellent student. However, she is a Chinese who does not speak Mandarin or read Chinese. She will have to overcome that as an adult some day.

I was very sad to be proven correct. I suppose it takes a thief to catch a fellow thief. Not that it is criminal to be dyslexic. As soon as I was convinced that I was a dyslexic, the first person I wanted to tell was Mei. She was a successful career woman at that time. The need to know is for early intervention for her children who may be blessed with similar genes. She did have an early diagnosis that number two was two years late in development at age four. She did the right thing to quit her bright career to teach him, but the assumption that he was normal (going by her judgment) really led her to an emotional melt down. I still have to slow down when I tell her things, my express train mode easily cause her information overload.

Swee was a corporate manager while her children were young. When I was slowing down by part-timing and struggling to prepare my children for pre-schools, she was earning good money. From what she told me about her academic experience, I was almost certain she was a dyslexic. Attempts to explain things to her led to laughter and total unbelief. Her idea of a dyslexic was an illiterate person working as a janitor. Soon after we had a good laugh (over the fact that I was not a cleaner) I moved out of town. When her number two child was in Grade two, she experienced a physical health crisis trying to help the child. In the end she had to quit her job because there was no special tutors to be had in her part of town no matter how much she was willing to pay. Her child was pretty severely dyslexic, it was not possible for the child to read horizontally. The visual line zigzags. Exercise books from that year showed painful struggles in smudged pages showing inability to write on the same line. I could not tell if it was the mother or the child's tears that fell on those pages.

Both Mei's and Swee's children whom they  spent countless hours teaching made it to Universities. Both mothers ought to be given awards for persevering all these years.

(470) Hearing

Yesterday I watched part of a documentary on television.

As soon as I switched to the channel, it was a family showing up for an appointment in a hospital. The baby being held in the mother's arms had had no sense of hearing since it was born. The medical personnel taped a gadget that they called an electrode to the side of the child's head, I also saw something that looked like a sort of hearing aid around the ear on the same side of the electrode. Test sounds were transmitted by computer to catch the child's attention. Then the person controlling the computer prepared everyone present. Except for the mother, everyone else was to keep quiet. The first sound the baby hears in his brain will be that of the mother. It might be upset or frightened.

As expected, the child reacted by crying quite loudly.

The next person the program focused on was a percussionist (musician) who lost her hearing at the age of nine. At the age of twenty, she opted to live without any electronic aide. She chose to lip read and to "hear" using her entire body. Even though I have had no musical training, I could see that she was a good musician with much passion for her craft. Looking at the fact that our bodies are made up of a skeleton capable of vibrating with sound waves, what she said made sense. Knowing that our normal sense of hearing confines to a limited range of frequencies, this unusual musician can probably "hear" a wider range that the rest of us. It is interesting that such an impairment has actually worked in her favour once she overcome her initial problem.

The program ended by showing a family unit of four. Dad received his aide ten years ago. Mum had hers seven years ago. The elder boy had had two, one at age seven months and the next at age four. The younger girl too has received aide. From birth to four or five years old, the brain has the capability to develop normally should it be able to receive sound inputs, whether through the ears or not. Even if the signals received is limited in many respects, the brain will be able to compensate by working and enriching the signals into meaningful sounds. Once it is past the window (birth to 4 or 5), we lose the opportunity of taking advantage of this capability of the brain called plasticity. These two children are indeed blessed by being born in Canada, where such medical technology is available.

I will be on the look out for programs of this sort, I find it informative and interesting.

(469) Eragon by Christopher Paolini

Many years back, I asked my councilor a question:"Why doesn't God just zap me and heal me physically, spiritually and emotionally?" She answered that healing comes from the Holy Spirit. He is a gentleman. We must pray and request him to come and heal us, that is the verbal invitation. Our God is a God of variety, he may not heal two people by the same method. Some healing is instantaneous, some come step by step and some may come in spurts and starts.

In page 716 of Eragon, we read of him fighting with Durza. The decisive battle rested in the mind, Durza was trying to enter Eragon's mind to probe for the dragon's location. At the same time, Eragon was entering Durza's mind and seeking his weak point. Much earlier, Brom had taught Eragon lessons in this mind probing. I am a person that wants to continue learning for as long as I can. This is the very first book I read that gives me a visual model of why in some or most cases healing cannot be spontaneous or instantaneous.

In my mind, I have erected blocks for years. No one human being can enter the virtual fortress. That, unfortunately, includes the holy spirit; as he is a person. In my prayer, I invited Him to come in and heal me. In the spiritual realm, it has occurred. For the Lord Jesus bought me wholeness by the stripes he suffered at the cross. Sad to say, it took me years to tear down the barriers I have put up since early childhood. And so healing occurred at a pace that I could handle, bit by painful bit, as soon as the dismantling of the barriers happened. For me, it took more than 10 years. Of course it is different for someone else. No two persons are alike, not even identical twins.

Here I want to state that I read Eragon like Enid Blyton's books. Dwarf, elves and fairy exist in children's stories. I purposely ignored the spells and the ancient language. Power comes from two sources: God and the fallen angels. I do  not want to touch that which does not belong to God.

(468) A lesson from rock climbing

I have not climbed any mountains. But I have read many books written by serious climbers. Whether one climbs a rock outcrop or an ice mountain, equipment is necessary. It is important to find a safe spot to fix a point for attachment. Then only can a climber rope oneself and be safe.

While a person is under emotional turmoil, the person is not logical. Should the turmoil lasts long enough to cause the sufferer to tire of struggling, the thought of suicide could be inches away. There is a verse in Psalms 139 (v14) : I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. I can take this verse as the tool of attachment to sustain my life. If God Almighty said that he made me wonderfully, who am I to dispute otherwise? I am a product of God's workmanship, he said it is marvelous. No one should disagree, least of all my enemy Satan.

The attachment is firmly anchored in God's word. It is then up to me to memorise it so that I can access it in time of need. Whenever thoughts of suicide overwhelm, it is time to recite it verbally to refute the enemy's attack. It may help to write the verse on slips of paper and attach them to mirrors in every part of the house. It may be helpful to play spiritual songs that builds us up. All these reminders are like the invisible rope that keeps us from falling into the abyss.

(467) The last book in the universe by Rodman Philbrick

Before I read this book, I have heard of a long list of famous historical figures being dyslexic. Let me name a few: Albert Einstein, Tom Cruise, Agatha Christie, Leonardo da Vinci, Lee Kuan Yew, ...

On page 57 of the above mentioned book, the author claimed that the below were epileptics:-
Charles Dickens
Julius Caesar
Napoleon Bonaparte
Leonardo da Vinci
Agatha Christie
Lewis Carrol
Harriet Tubman
Joan of Arc
Vincent van Gogh
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Edgar Allan Poe
Paganini
Alexander the Great (page 36)
In the book an old man called Ryter claimed that many great humans had been epileptic. It was as if the brain compensated by increasing intelligence and ambition.

Even the most intelligent person uses less than 10% of his or her brain. If the fact that being an epileptic spurs a person into developing his or her brain more, there lies the root of his or her future greatness. Interesting!

(466) After overcoming learning difficulties

When I was working with children whom I suspected with learning difficulties, I used to look out for symptoms. Now that I have no choice but to move on, I switched to feelings. If I sense wounds, hurts, fears or whatever that could be part of the aftermath of a traumatic battle within and without the person, then I look for parallels and patterns.

I am taking Elizabeth's advice in starting with these two thoughts that she picked out of my ramblings. Personally, my journey started with the Navigator's 2-7 Course. It took two years to complete. At the end of book 6, I knew there were skeletons in my locked closets. The key or keys were missing. The first key returned when my counselor saw a vision when she was praying for me. That unlocked one closet: traumas in the first year of school.

A person I had been seeing has had a bad experience with at least one counselor. So that path is out. That might be why she was willing to see me, I have absolutely no credentials except my own experience. Prior to a recent session, she came to a decision to live, just as she was, without any more thoughts of healing. Then I went to the conference. Out of the three people I talked to, one of them was very candid in telling me how she felt about her years of struggle. It was interesting, God is a very present source of help. In less than a month, I heard the same feelings expressed twice by two  very different people. It cannot be luck, it is ordained by God.

For the seeker I met in conference, I pointed out to her the five ways of drawing close to God. However, for my friend who believes she walks closely enough, I suggest going back to her childhood past time: copying pictures she loves by pencil. If not anything else, she would feel the therapy of drawing. Since she regularly struggles with emotional turmoil, the calming focus of sketching would bless her.

I pray that she will find sufficient strength in God to risk opening the Pandora Box. There is nothing worse than fear of fear itself. If we know in our hearts that God is bigger than all our insecurities, that God's love for us excludes all our fears, then one has nothing to lose by trusting him.

(463) Parenting - today (2)

It is strange! Right after the incident in the previous blog, I went to pick up a friend in an engineering firm.

While I was waiting for her to pack her stuff up, the boss' two daughters walked out to the reception area. Child number one sat down next to me, immediately engrossed in a game in her I-phone. Child number two struggled with the heavy swinging door and being small and weak, she had to brace herself and pushed the heavy door. In the process of struggling, the I-pad in her hand fell to the wooden floor with a thud.

The two sisters tried to restart the gadget but failed. In turn it became the headache of the receptionist. The receptionist could hardly help, so she called for the help of the IT consultant. Meanwhile an IT savvy colleague trouble shot and concluded that it still worked but the on-off button was temperamental.

Mind you, this particular I-pad was only a few days old!  Was it just co-incidence? Are all children from age 1-8 given such delicate instruments to play with?What happened to the old fashion toys? Parents are just too busy making money to buy expensive and inappropriate toys for their children to play!

(462) Parenting - today (1)

The other day I met a mission worker who came back from Papua. She just returned from visiting the country with the world's second highest treasury reserve. Her brother was an Asean Scholar who ended up working and living in the island nation.

She made an interesting observation. It seemed that in expensive restaurants, young children are given the parents' I-pod, I-pad and I-what-ever not. I was taken aback, these gadgets are expensive! She shrug her shoulders and gave me a look that said,"It's their money and their children!"

At that point of time I have not seen any thing like that. Truly it defies understanding! Let's say these yuppies are filthy rich. They could buy such items every week as fast as the kids drop them. Even then don't they want to teach the children how to handle high valued items with care and respect? Aren't they afraid that these item would expose their darlings to unnecessary radiations?

In the end we concluded that parenting is about convenience nowadays!

(461) Parenting -- seventy years ago

My grand ma was great at story telling. One day she happened to talk about a local millionaire. We would normally assume that the son of this millionaire would go to school in an expensive car driven by a uniformed driver. Apparently such a picture does not include his son.

This millionaire owned a huge bungalow a stone's throw away from a mission school. His son walked to school. Not only he was not given privileges as a rich man's son. He was brought up as a working man's son. When he finished schooling, he was sent up north to start at the lowest job at his father's factory. He was billeted at the workers' hostel.

Even millionaires grew old. In his old age this man would take his eldest son's son to a coffee shop most mornings. He would order one coffee without milk - it was five cents cheaper than a cup with milk. Then he asked for a glass of hot water. With the practised ease of an acrobat, he remixed the coffee into two portions. The old man took the bigger portion and the young boy was given the diluted beverage in the smaller cup.

Legends came down the generation that the entire fortune was frittered away by this young boy. This family comprised of many aunts and sisters. In the olden days, female off springs were not entitled to any share of the family fortune. There was only one son for the millionaire. This only son begot only one son too. I leave it to you to ponder over why the son turned out well but not the grand son.

(458) Memories

While I was bringing up the children, I did not own a car. When Keziah first started ballet, we used to walk there. Instead of dropping her and run else where, I would stay and watch the lesson from the waiting area. I must have watched every single lesson for about six months at least. I used to think I wasted a lot of time doing things like that. After all, none of my other children took ballet from age three. So there is really no use learning the technique of coaching little girls.

Pastor preached from the pulpit just last week that nothing we do is wasted in God's sight. If we allow God to use every bit of our past, everything  we've been through could glorify him.

A few days later I was watching Uncle Clement playing with Nisha. Nisha is a two and half year old who is very active. She loved being thrown up and then being caught on her way down. I was utterly amazed at her fearlessness. She was spatially confident. I watched the way she flexed her feet. I noticed her muscular control when she was being lifted by her wrists.

Normally I try not to act too smart. After all, I don't really have any real paper qualification to back up what I say, even if I am right. At that moment, My brain was just calculating and comparing mental images stored up. Words came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

 "Look at her ankle to toes, she is having perfect control over them. Keziah, it took you three months to learn that. And you were one of the fastest in your class of thirteen."

Oh-oh! Chatter box mum had done it again! No one in this city knew Keziah had a few years of ballet in our small town life years ago. I know I have a fantastic memory of children and things related to children's learning. But then I did not expect myself to store a bunch of not relevant info for so many years. I suppose it is relevant to Nisha's mum. She was being encouraged. And we know she needs all the encouragements she could get. Nisha is advanced in every field except speech. Guess what my big mouth told her mum? Without thinking, I said most children improves verbally on a rather straight line going up an incline. But Nisha's curve would be exponential. That means hardly any measurable improvements for months, and one day she would grow unaccountably by leaps and bounds. After I said that, I wonder where the idea came from. Later Keziah asked me how did I know. She said I sounded absolutely certain. I had to think about that for a few hours. Couldn't be quite sure how I knew, but I was certain I have seen a child like Nisha in my past. Maybe it was a movie, a documentary, a real child I heard being described by a parent or  a teacher ... Keziah was right, I was and am still absolutely certain of what I said.

(456) What three men said

My husband went to a social occasion a few days ago. After the meal, he sat down with a few men and talked shop. Since these are people over fifty years old, they are all financially savvy.

One men said that he just sold every bit of investment he owned in North America. But why? A second man said that he went to change the local dollar to American dollar. Guess what, the money changer no longer stock dollars beyond what they need on a daily basis. He has to negotiate a rate and then go back in a few hours to collect the foreign notes. A third man  who reads the Chinese newspaper commented that the Chinese government was switching their US treasury bills  to US properties.

It seems like the market is buzzing about an imminent devaluation of the green back. All these are market sentiments. Probably groundless and rumour mongering. Please note that this dyslexic rambler is not a back yard economist. I can't tell what is advance warning and what is rumours! What interests me is that if such a devaluation happens at the crucial few days when we could exchange the little that we have put aside for Elizabeth's tuition, her dream of studying in USA can come true. And it would be by God's grace and providence.

(454) Prawn mee lady

There is a shop nearby that sells different types of noodles on different days of the week. The old lady managed her business with the help of a young lady. I have always thought that it was a mother and daughter team. My friend Annie said it was a mistress-foreign maid team. She judged by the skin colour. I went by the easy familiarity between young and old persons.

Food was good, therefore we returned many times. What I find inconvenient is the fact that most of the time they sell out by eleven o'clock before noon. I know the location of the shop is  not good. Most customers are regulars. I suppose it is not smart to over produce and be bogged down by selling well past lunch time. But still, shouldn't anybody make a little more so that people who eat early lunch will still find something to buy?

I guess I am not a chatty customer. I have not suggested anything to either lady one way or another. What I noticed is that many regulars stay and become good friends with the two. One day there was a tiff between the old lady and the young helper. As soon as I sat down, I could sense some tension. Since I was hungry, I just bowed my head and ate as fast as the hot soup cooled. The old lady walked right past me and grumbled, "Even my daughter dared not raised her voice in talking to me!" I was so utterly taken aback. Before I realized it, I answered,"O dear, I thought she was your daughter!" The old lady gave me an incredulous look and went noisily over to wash coffee cups.

After that incident, I noticed that both the owner and the helper were a little friendlier to me. Perhaps they wrote me off as a person who is totally unfriendly. Hey! A customer who does not chit chat with other patrons or the server need not mean she is unsociable. I merely keep quiet because the patrons are usually rough looking men. These are traveling salesmen, truck drivers, service people like air-con repairmen and delivery folks.

note: mee is a Hokkien word meaning yellow wheat noodle. Prawn mee is an overseas Hokkien food: noodle, beansprout or green vegetable, prawns, fish cake slices, lean pork slices, half an egg(hard boiled) in spicy soup, topped by fried shallot. I love to eat it but try to limit it to once a week because the soup was made by boiling prawn shells and heads for hours.

(453) New customer of McDonald

To relieve my mother from cooking lunch, I have been purchasing food for my niece. Lately she got tired of the many types of noodles available. I started buying McDonald breakfast. Since it is easier to buy what I need from the same place, so McDonald it is for everyone.

I know my mum likes McEgg. But it is really hilarious to see her enjoying the so-call ed western fast food. She is normally so Chinese in her taste. I really did not expect her to enjoy chicken sausage and cheese. Today she ate her chicken sausage and egg and cheese with gusto. Surprisingly the next time that I will bring lunch, both of them want the same food again.

If  McDonald can sign on a new consumer like a thrifty old lady, it can win anyone as customers. No wonder it is a world giant in the food business.

(452) The moving finger -- intelligence

by Agatha Christie

At the bottom of page 123, it was written: "I can see you are a very clever young man -- but not quite enough confidence in yourself. You ought to have!"

There is this young man in my church. He is more intelligent than his result suggests. Until he enter a course in his area of passion, even he himself lacks confidence. When he was struggling with a major he was not interested in, he failed. It took him some time working. Then he took a short course and passed before he dared to sign up in his area of interest. Miracle of miracles, he was on the dean's list the very first semester.

So it was as if Miss Marple was having him (from my church) in mind when she made that remark!

(448) Endless night -- fate?

by Agatha Christie

We read on page 182: "Every night and every morn," I sang it under my breath," 'Some to misery are born. Every morn and every night some are born to sweet delight.' That's Ellie, Greta. She was born to sweet delight. ... Mum ... knew I was born to endless night. ... And Santonix knew. ..."

Ellie was the rich heiress that was murdered by her husband, who was telling Greta that he was born to suffer whatever he chose to commit himself to. Greta is the original person who wanted Ellie's wealth. She persuaded the young man to lure Ellie into marriage. The plan was to kill her and much later murderer and conspirator would enjoy the wealth in a far away land. It was not to be. Santonix was the architect who built the most luxurious house money could buy.

 Before we were born, every day of our lives was written in a book. Could we escape from what was written? Are we controlled by what was loosely termed "fate"? I chose to think each of us is born with a set of pre-determine inclinations. We often can't choose our circumstances. But we can choose what we do. I can choose contentment instead of greed. I can choose to obey God's call rather than follow personal ambition. I can choose a simple life style rather than an all consuming materialistic life. From the way everyone sees, perhaps you may think I am stupid. But in terms of eternity, it is the only option for me.

(446) A murder is announced - parallels

by Agatha Christie

If you look at page 249 in "A Murder is Announced", you will find: "...She (Charlotte) was actually a kindly affectionate creature." That was rather an odd thing to say about a murderess! If you continue to read on, you'll see: "weak and kindly people are often very treacherous. And if they've got a grudge against life it saps the little moral strength that they possess."

In one of my earlier blogs I wrote about my old care group invited a psychotic patient to our meetings. When things were moving along well, that was when the lady patient took her medication regularly; she was a very kindly affectionate person. All of us in the care group felt her charm. Unfortunately, there were times when she was not taking her medication as prescribed by the doctor. Then we had to be very careful in what we said during the meeting and fellowship time. Her sickness made her paranoid and suspicious. If she took offense at what anyone said, then there would be ugly confrontations.

One time she was hospitalized in the psychiatric ward. A few of us visited her in the hospital. The other care group members visited her parents. From what the parents said, she went raving mad (it took three men to restrain her) and almost chopped her younger brother with a sharp meat knife. All because her brother told her to go get a job instead of asking for money from her parents. The patient grudged her siblings their normality. She did not pass her high school exam and she could not accept the failure. She was very upset that her condition prevented her from marriage and becoming a mother. No one dares to belittle her in any way. She was very ready to retaliate with any thing that can function as a weapon. All these happened in spite of the fact that she was normally  soft spoken and gentle.

(444) Top of the pop

To my dear readers,
I thank you for reading this blog. As of this minute, you have collectively achieved 2022 page views since the inception of ramblings of a dyslexic.

Here I am recording for your convenience the ten top blogs:
134 Upbringing
374 Interesting building 62
160 Upbringing 20
155 You Changed My Life by Max Lucado
389 Genetic variation
211 Upbringing 24
206 Learning difficulties 9
150 Upbringing 13
395 Hearts of gold
392 Time Capsule

Happy reading!

(443) Tales of the unexpected by Roald Dahl

From the days I was hunting for books for my children, I fell in love with the books of Roald Dahl.

Recently, I had a lot of fun rereading his entire collection in the British Council library. Apart from Enid Blyton, I can't think of a better children's author. However, the book I am writing about is written for adults.

If you like justice for a faithless husband -- try Lamb to the Slaughter.
For a gambler's tale                               -- read Man from the South.
Guess the fate of eavesdroppers            -- My Lady Love, My Dove.
Risk losing your money                          -- go Dip in the Pool.
Remember the school bully                    -- you'll enjoy Galloping Foxley.
Want a bit of suspense                           -- you will like Skin
Men who are hen pecked                       -- go for Neck.
For revenge to the fair sex                      -- there's none better than Nunc Dimittis.
Warning to a bargain lover                      -- find The Landlady.
Suppose you think death will part
you from your wife                                  -- read William and Mary

Husband, do not bully your wife              -- or you may choose The Way up to Heaven
Actors who enjoy cheating                      -- check out Parson's Pleasure
Wives who make fools of hubby              -- learn from Mrs Bixby and the Colonel's Coat
For a twilight zone story                          -- read Royal Jelly
The last story - Edward the Conqueror, I won't give you any clue, go read it yourself! It is quite a tale!

(442) Language difficulties

Prior to the conference, the organizer mentioned a little about the back ground of a few of the attendees. I kept the information in my heart. When I met two of those I had been thinking about, my suspicions were confirmed.

We will talk about the one who came for the conference a second time. When I brought up reading difficulties and the different learning styles due to different dominant brain hemispheres, she was all ears. Sad to say, it is not common to come across such topics in the local Chinese mass media. Hence she was behind her English-educated sisters in the group of language challenged individuals.

Today, I met her ex-youth group leader. I shared my insight with her. After getting the terminologies right ( reading difficulties is "Yuet doo chunk ngai" and dyslexia is "chor yew boo fun". Pardon me that I am new to han yue pin yin as I was old enough to have learned the "po pour mo phor".), she caught my line of thoughts immediately. As long as the person concerned is happy with herself as she is, I would not waste time telling her things she does not need to know. But in this case, she has wondered about this all her life:
1. She knows she is not stupid.
2. But why is it so difficult for her to switch from Chinese to English?
3. Working as hard as she could, she has never seemed to make any headway learning the national language that uses roman letters.
4. When she is half listening to something, she seems to be able to catch more than if she pays full attention.

From what I know, that is entirely consistent with a pictorial gifted dyslexic. A dyslexic may have difficulties with a phonics based language like English. At the one and same time she may be very adept and quick in learning a pictorial symbol based language like Chinese. This ex-youth leader asked me if it is possible for  such a person to get frustrated, disappointed, humiliated and shamed into being closed up, could it lead to schizophrenia? The answer is yes, I met with one, my former care group member's sister. When I visited her in the convalescent home within the state asylum, she was totally sane. The many times they discharged her each led to either she became raving mad or violently suicidal. Hence by mutual choice, she remains within the system. There she serves quietly in whatever capacity they allow her to. She has been sane and happy for about eight years then. That particular visit was ten years ago.

(441) The real estate bubble

My friend Mandy is looking for a house to retire in. Since she is single, a three room condo would be acceptable. Even though she has a valid driver's license, she has not driven in the last ten years. That handicap would limit her to properties within five hundred yards to a sub way station.

She has been viewing, what fits her criteria does not go for less than four hundred thousand. But her budget is three hundred thousand. Her real estate agent advised her to wait a year or two as the speculation driven bubble has to break at some point. Meanwhile, I suggest that she looks at three room condo a little further from the city that are near future lines. In fact that day my daughter saw some initial earth work done in the vicinity of a future sub-way line.

I am not surprised that she was not interested. Fifteen years ago she was in a position to buy apartments. She insisted she really wanted a linked house. Eight years ago she finally saved up enough to put a down payment on her dream house. Looking back, she saw her friend who purchased apartments owning two to three properties by the time she was struggling with paying for her first house. She waited and actually has to pay at least a hundred thousand more for the same type of house her friend bought five to ten years earlier.

You see, those friends started with a two room apartment. When they earn a little more, they pay down payment for a three room apartment. Once they get the keys to the new property, the let out the old one and live in the new one. When they are offered a good price for the first property, they sold immediately and bought a landed property. Meanwhile, Mandy's hard earned savings were actually staying idle in the bank earning little interest. She dares not invest in the stock market or unit trust. Year by year her savings in real terms dwindles because it cannot grow at the rate of inflation.

(440) Female to male ratio

It is a statistical fact that female out numbers male in most societies. The only exceptions to the case would be some parts of China and India. That would probably be due to female genocide made possible by pre-natal ultrasound scans.

The inevitable result of such a ratio would be unmarried females not because they did not want marriage. I have a classmate who would consider match-making. She told me and another town crier. I move around in Christian circles. Since I have not worked outside the house for many years, thought as I might, I can't think of a single bachelor I know well enough to introduce to her who is not a believer. This dear classmate of mine is a Buddhist. Much as I wanted to, I can not be of help.

There is a widow who is my neighbour. I met her the other day. She had on a black little number, I almost could not recognise her. The outfit took twenty years away. She normally looks about fifty in her serious working clothes. That evening she looked young and glamourous. I certainly hope that her internet dating would bear fruits.

Further down the row of houses are two single mothers. Their children are grown and out working. The mothers are relatively young and attractive. As far as I know, their respective ex-husbands are happily  hitched with second wives. Perhaps the bringing up of a brood of kids present a barrier to dating that would lead to marriage for these women. They are still looking around.

(439) You want to write a book?

I have two friends who want to write books. Both have unique experiences. Both possess the potential to birth good books that will help thousands.

Amy is busy in the ministry. She lives by faith. The other day she actually found a free book on line. A mutual friend sent it to her. Since that author wrote exactly what she desired to write, and he did a marvelous job of it; she is freed from the task. I think it is called "The Naked Church".

Betty is busy earning a living. She does have free time, but she is afraid of putting down her thoughts. She is afraid of being misunderstood. She is also afraid of others' reaction should it be published. Now and then when she has the compulsion to journal, she logs it in an external drive that is under lock and key.

A few years ago, I too was afraid to write. But everything changed with the world wide web and the advent of blogging. Among millions of blogs, if you choose to read and follow mine; it would definitely not be by chance. I can continue to write what my heart desires to record. Any time you can choose to stop reading. If what I wrote helps you, let us praise God together. If not, this blog is not meant for you.

Someday, perhaps my gifted son may arrange and edit my work, should there be a demand for it; he will look into publishing it (whether e-publishing or the normal paper kind). Hey, no sweat! After all, there is no great need on my part for recognition. If I can let go of the possibility of earning with my writing, this is the perfect medium of reaching for people who either enjoy or need to read my thoughts/ experience. What a blessing the internet is!

(438) Changing norms

Fifty years ago, mothers-in-law ruled. Now, the power play changed. With education and paying jobs, the playing field is leveled. Generally speaking, daughters-in-law have an easier time.

We will look at a real case. A soft-spoken man who allowed his bossy girl friend to corner him into marriage is now a father of four. Since he is the only son, it was always assumed that his mother would be taken care of by him and his wife. For the years when the children were young, things went well. As soon as the youngest reached the age that a pre-school accepts, pressure started mounting for the mother-in-law to leave. There was no quarrels. Just cold shoulder and silence. The all powerful woman would take her four kids and spend time away from home. Only at mid-night she would bring them back. After friction mounted in the house, the intelligent mother-in-law became the sacrificial lamb. She moved out to preserve her beloved son's marriage.

But what kind of marriage is it? Whatever menial task the mother-in-law used to shoulder fell onto the husband's lap. It is the husband that checked the children's bag for home work. It is he who woke up early to cook breakfast for the school going children. It is he who braved traffic jam to send them to school. Our all-powerful queen would wake up at nine to get to work at ten. She caters for her food. The children fends for themselves as best as they can. The only thing she does in her house is ironing her own working clothes.

Mr. nice guy with no temper just grins and bears it all. I wonder if he would bring up more queen bees who does not toil. Would he bring up more spineless so call men?