My cousin Sylvester is English educated. He happened to find a few baskets of rambutans on hand. Rambutans are hairy fruits (red or yellow skin, translucent sweet flesh with a seed) that don't last long out of a fridge. He called up his sister-in-law and offered to bring a basket by for her and family. This is a very friendly gesture, after all rambutans in season are dirt cheap. We may pay 2 to 3 dollars in the city for a bunch of 60. In the villages, they may be left to rot on the trees. I was shocked when the sister-in-law asked, "Why are you giving me rambutans?"
If anyone were to ask me that question, I would be insulted! I would probably say that it is ok if she does not want it, ten other people would not mind having rambutans delivered free to their homes. But then again I am Chinese educated. If I feel like receiving rambutans would tilt the balance of favors, I would quickly pass a tin of biscuits or a pack of cookies to my rambutan giver.
Sylvester took the accusatory question calmly and answered,"Well! That is a thank you gift to you for helping me to sell some products."
Here lies one difference between Chinese and English educated Chinese. I am Chinese educated, at least for the first 6 years of my education. Therefore in my dealings with people, some things are left unsaid. My cousin is English educated, the same rule does not apply.
My son Kenneth is on break from university. He could appreciate what I was trying to say now, as he has been living among a community of Chinese educated men and women on and off campus for one year now. Starting from 1990s, we are having more and more students (Chinese, Indians or other races) entering Chinese primary schools. English or other language educated Chinese in this country are becoming a rarity.
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