My husband's cousin just celebrated the marriage of his eldest son. Around my dinner table, the discussion centered around customs and expectations in a wedding.
I brought up my cousin's wedding. She is from the southern part of my country and she married a man from the northern part. The wedding was held in the man's hometown. The entire clan, my father has many brothers and sisters, descended on the little town and the groom's family rented guest houses to accommodate the many guests from the bride's side. They picked up the tab for room rental, food, and they even took my parents on a one day tour to the border town of the neighboring country. (This is a Chinese wedding)
If we travel half way across the globe to USA, the custom is opposite. My college mate is from Vermont, her husband is from Texas. They follow American tradition and held the wedding in Vermont. The groom's family and some close relatives flew up and stayed for two to three nights. The bride's father took care of lodging and meals. The wedding reception is paid for by the bride's side. (This is an American, white couple, wedding)
Elizabeth asked what would happen if the side that is supposed to pay for all these did not have the ability. Well, one can always opt for a no frills wedding. My friend's brother opted to get married in the city he works. They did not invite anyone other than the bride's sister and her husband, these two acted as witnesses. The civil registration costs a very small amount of money. He has to buy two rings and moved her things to his place. He was exceptionally fortunate that the bride's mother did not make any demands, the bride did not even rent any wedding finery. So far, this is the first case in my generation that bypassed a lot of unnecessary spending. Yet I am not sure that I will be so easy when the time comes for my daughters to be married. Perhaps I will insist that there is a ceremony in front of God in church and a small reception after that. That way there will be some beautiful bridal pictures.
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