Saturday, February 25, 2012

(791) Better late than never

Elizabeth acts as a small group study leader for young girls age 11 to 15. She has a very frustrating time catering to one particular person with marked symptoms of Asperger. While she wanted to be effective in communicating her message across to her main group, she has a hard time swallowing the fact that she has to ignore the idiosyncrasies of that girl.

That day I saw how the socially lacking young girl running all around the church trying to catch those cute toddlers who actually did not want to be carried. She not only could not take no for an answer. She would be over enthusiastic to the extent of hugging them too tightly until they cried out in protest. I saw that trait as an insensitive side of her strong liking for children. No wonder she was ignored and remain friendless in her church.

I related how Elizabeth's eldest brother was like that in the age group of 5 - 7. He was very fortunate he had excellent teachers right up to age 9. His home room teacher (when he was age 7) allowed him to wander all around the class as he could already read and count, she did not mind him not completing his class work as he could out score the rest of his classmates in assessments. She was mild and understanding. However, she was able to keep the class quiet and managed to teach the rest whatever she wanted to. So Kenneth was like a quiet and harmless wanderer who dreamed away his Grade 1 without giving his teachers much problems.

Well, that state of affairs could not continue. His Grade 2 home room teacher promoted him to a special seat next to her in front of the black board. He was quiet and obedient. He was quick and diligent when she showered him with much personal attention. You see, we moved from the capital city to a small town in December before Grade 2 started. This exceptional teacher taught that class (Grade 2, Silver City) the previous year, she found that she had very good students in that small class. She could afford to lavish personal attention on my son as she did an excellent job the previous year and every single one of her children is doing well.

The same teacher followed the class up to Grade Three. She told me that by mid year, my son had caught up enough that he could sit a few seats away from her seat. Kenneth was tall and big for his age. She said that he may be big size biologically and the same age chronologically as the rest of his class mates, but his mental age was two years behind the rest even though his IQ was way above most of his classmates. She knew all these because she had taught the same age group for 25 years. Moreover, her youngest son was like Kenneth at that age. Of course, by the time she started teaching Kenneth, her youngest son was grown and just graduated from college.

Compared to Kenneth, this young girl that Elizabeth has taken under her wing was not so fortunate. She was sent to a Chinese medium school that was notorious for huge class size(50 students to a class versus 36 in Kenneth's class)  and the teachers in a Chinese school are under tremendous pressure to groom their charges to perform well in every single test. So I would not be inaccurate to say that Kenneth had a more relax time in his school finding out how boys' social systems work. (he went to a boy's primary school) While this young girl was pushed to her upper limits in cramming facts into her over loaded brain. She probably had no time to play, to make friends and to relax in her type of cram school for 6 years.

 Therefore at age 13, she was sent to my daughter's youth group to learn how to fit in among her peers. I feel sorry for her parents, they have to deal with an older son who is a special child. No matter how hard they try, it is difficult to give this supposedly normal daughter the amount of attention she craves. The world is not fair, it is a fallen world. We are not perfect, not as the master created us to be as in the garden of Eden. But I suppose this young girl came to a caring and loving group, she may yet be given a conducive environment to learn whatever is lacking in her at age 13, which she should have picked up from age 5 to 9.

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