(854) Bringing up children

I looked around my church, which is a very productive one in terms of having a bunch children below the age of six, and see three women as interesting study.

First let us look at Aline, who lives with her in-laws. She was already introverted when she was single. After her first child was born, she was quieter than usual. Then she seemed to find her own groove and I saw that she dressed a little better than when her baby was an infant. Sad to say, it was then time to have baby number two, and she looked so tired and drawn in. Honestly, I have not seen a big smile on her face since number two was born. Her husband, who talks incessantly and grins constantly, still behaves like a bachelor. No wonder the poor wife was weighed down by the care of her two. Now, number two walks unaided, I expect to see her cheer up soon and return to the land of the animated. Aline worked full time in a job related to children.

Next we look at Betsy, she had a difficult time with her first child. She lives in a small apartment with her husband and child. Apparently the arrangement with a full-time baby sitter and no house hold help did not suit her. She dropped from being a fashion queen to one who could barely get herself together to come to church. She showed more self awareness then Aline. After talking to different women, she decided to change line and work from home. The abrupt change must have worked, I see her happier and less tired. By the time her second child is born, she is well adjusted. Now, she moved around on her own terms. Number one is very secured with many teenagers tailing behind. Number two is a sleepy head who sleeps in the carrier most of the time.

Then we consider Cathy. The week she returned to church with her baby, she looked many years older. As the weeks pass by, she did not improve. Her husband looked equally sleep deprived. Both of them hold good jobs and are well paid. I suppose it is their choice not hiring house or baby help.

In them, I see myself. I probably looked as bad for the first two years with my first two children. Since I did not want a live-in maid, I roughed it out. By the time I had my third and decided not to work, it became easier. There are just so many hours in a day, if we take away a few hours for work and some for commuting, then all the child care and house chores had to be squeezed into very few hours left. Life became a battle trying to get everything done.

My role is that of an observer. I do not try to find out more, nor do I contribute any opinion. Each generation decides what to do on their own.