Wednesday, June 1, 2011

(438) Changing norms

Fifty years ago, mothers-in-law ruled. Now, the power play changed. With education and paying jobs, the playing field is leveled. Generally speaking, daughters-in-law have an easier time.

We will look at a real case. A soft-spoken man who allowed his bossy girl friend to corner him into marriage is now a father of four. Since he is the only son, it was always assumed that his mother would be taken care of by him and his wife. For the years when the children were young, things went well. As soon as the youngest reached the age that a pre-school accepts, pressure started mounting for the mother-in-law to leave. There was no quarrels. Just cold shoulder and silence. The all powerful woman would take her four kids and spend time away from home. Only at mid-night she would bring them back. After friction mounted in the house, the intelligent mother-in-law became the sacrificial lamb. She moved out to preserve her beloved son's marriage.

But what kind of marriage is it? Whatever menial task the mother-in-law used to shoulder fell onto the husband's lap. It is the husband that checked the children's bag for home work. It is he who woke up early to cook breakfast for the school going children. It is he who braved traffic jam to send them to school. Our all-powerful queen would wake up at nine to get to work at ten. She caters for her food. The children fends for themselves as best as they can. The only thing she does in her house is ironing her own working clothes.

Mr. nice guy with no temper just grins and bears it all. I wonder if he would bring up more queen bees who does not toil. Would he bring up more spineless so call men?

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