There is a blind white cat that begs at my table whenever I eat at the Malay place.
It is a strong male. Its pale blue eyes were seldom open whenever it was seated near my chair legs. I suspect it is at least partially blind. It compensates the lack of keen sight with an acute sense of smell. Without looking at our plates, it knows which of us has fish on the plate. Accordingly, it is right beside the person with fish meat to spare.
Yesterday I did not sit in my usual place. It was about to rain. I chose a corner seat under the wide awning. The white cat walked along the side where our usual table was and right across the front of the shop. It did not spot me. Anyway at that point the fish dish was just being cooked. I chose to keep quiet.
Sure enough, half an hour later it came back. I called it and it walked right up to where I was to claim my fish stomach pieces. It was the cat's lucky day since the fish was not cooked in a spicy sauce. It is interesting that given enough time, an animal in a familiar territory is able to learn enough to survive even if it is slowly losing its sight. It probably recognises me by placement and sound. Should I sit in an unfamiliar seat alone and kept quiet, it would walk right past me without recognition. With a unique voice signature, it remembers me as a friendly food provider.
Monday, February 3, 2020
Monday, January 27, 2020
(1215) Learning to drive
My landlady has an only child. The girl is going to be 17 when she hits her birthday this year. She wasn't planning to learn to drive. Why? Because mum and dad said she has to dig money out of her saving account to learn driving. Not only that, she suspected she would become the official driver for her parents. Should she get into any accidents, points will be deducted from her license.
Since my son and I listened to her attentively and respected her view, she in turn listened to our view. We told her that learner's cost goes up every year, in 2004 it cost $750, by 2008 it was $850. Now it may cost $1050 or more.
Then we explained that it is very common that a young person passed his or her driving test and then leave the home town to study pre-university in another city. Unless dad coughed out $15,000 or so for a second hand car, most students do not drive. Once the two years are up, a "p" license will convert to a normal license.
She could see our points are valid. But of course it is her choice when she decides to learn to drive.
Since my son and I listened to her attentively and respected her view, she in turn listened to our view. We told her that learner's cost goes up every year, in 2004 it cost $750, by 2008 it was $850. Now it may cost $1050 or more.
Then we explained that it is very common that a young person passed his or her driving test and then leave the home town to study pre-university in another city. Unless dad coughed out $15,000 or so for a second hand car, most students do not drive. Once the two years are up, a "p" license will convert to a normal license.
She could see our points are valid. But of course it is her choice when she decides to learn to drive.
(1214) Child Labour
Today is the third day in Chinese New Year. There was an all girls troupe of lion dancers performing in the Giant Supermarket. I heard that the Giant chain of supermarkets in Sabah was being taken over by a group from Labuan. Already Giant in Tawau was in new hands with new name.
After lunch we were outside of Kentucky Fried Chicken. The door to KFC kitchen was open. Three boys were collecting paper recyclables in black bags on trolley to a small lorry outside. A boy that looked like 11 years old was wheeling the trolley. Another smaller boy that could be 7 or so was loading the trolley. A third one that could be 14 was standing up in the loading area to pack the bags tightly.
My son said that these boys probably came from the interior and were too poor to go to school. Their parents may have too many children to feed that they were farmed out to relatives near the city. The relatives found individuals who would feed, house, train the boys to a legitimate line of work. Near my place there is a restaurant that sells economic noodles for breakfast and economic mix rice for lunch. The lady boss is a fair, even-temper individual who trained her servers from young, maybe 12 to 14. As far as I could see, she had been having the same three servers (2 boys and 1 older girl) for the past 5 years and now there is a 13 year old new additional girl.
Well, certainly these boys will have a better future than the five glue sniffers who sleep rough in front of the shops. Being employed bodes well, they could advance to better jobs as time goes on. It is better than the undocumented children that hang around the dumb site. It is sad that the very state that produced the most resources happened to be the second poorest in my country. I certainly do not see Malaysian citizens being deprived of education in the Peninsular. But here, things are very different.
After lunch we were outside of Kentucky Fried Chicken. The door to KFC kitchen was open. Three boys were collecting paper recyclables in black bags on trolley to a small lorry outside. A boy that looked like 11 years old was wheeling the trolley. Another smaller boy that could be 7 or so was loading the trolley. A third one that could be 14 was standing up in the loading area to pack the bags tightly.
My son said that these boys probably came from the interior and were too poor to go to school. Their parents may have too many children to feed that they were farmed out to relatives near the city. The relatives found individuals who would feed, house, train the boys to a legitimate line of work. Near my place there is a restaurant that sells economic noodles for breakfast and economic mix rice for lunch. The lady boss is a fair, even-temper individual who trained her servers from young, maybe 12 to 14. As far as I could see, she had been having the same three servers (2 boys and 1 older girl) for the past 5 years and now there is a 13 year old new additional girl.
Well, certainly these boys will have a better future than the five glue sniffers who sleep rough in front of the shops. Being employed bodes well, they could advance to better jobs as time goes on. It is better than the undocumented children that hang around the dumb site. It is sad that the very state that produced the most resources happened to be the second poorest in my country. I certainly do not see Malaysian citizens being deprived of education in the Peninsular. But here, things are very different.
(1213) The Cost of Writing
It is interesting that the threat of death took away all my fears. In surviving, after spending much in medical cost, I need an alternate source of income. I am very blessed that my husband is my publisher. My eldest child is my editor and my youngest child is my proof-reader. Something like a family enterprise. Now that I am a published author, the next logical step is to give talks.
Now, if you are thinking of writing and publishing books, there are habits you have to pick up:
1. writing daily
2. my writing professor gave me the advice of reading good books, she separated her thumb and her index finger to be 2-3 inches apart and said keep reading weekly.
3. open your mind to life long learning - you must keep picking up new facts, new thoughts and new things to write about.
4. join a public library nearby and visit it fortnightly
5. love languages, be intoxicated with words, be accepting to new ideas
6. surround yourself with word smiths: language teachers, reporters, lawyers, writers, editors, people in advertising, people in public relations, bloggers,...
7. develop perseverance. If you want to be picked by a publishing house, you have to be able handle rejections, possibly years of it. Real gold is refined by fire. Real talents would last and perhaps win out ultimately against adversity.
Now, if you are thinking of writing and publishing books, there are habits you have to pick up:
1. writing daily
2. my writing professor gave me the advice of reading good books, she separated her thumb and her index finger to be 2-3 inches apart and said keep reading weekly.
3. open your mind to life long learning - you must keep picking up new facts, new thoughts and new things to write about.
4. join a public library nearby and visit it fortnightly
5. love languages, be intoxicated with words, be accepting to new ideas
6. surround yourself with word smiths: language teachers, reporters, lawyers, writers, editors, people in advertising, people in public relations, bloggers,...
7. develop perseverance. If you want to be picked by a publishing house, you have to be able handle rejections, possibly years of it. Real gold is refined by fire. Real talents would last and perhaps win out ultimately against adversity.
(1212) A Lifetime of writing
If I had accepted the high school- college scholarship, I definitely would not be here today. I would be exclusively Mandarin speaking. At age 13 when I joined a Malay school, I could not speak English, neither could I speak Malay. It was very difficult to overcome the language barrier.
I came from a poor family, at a very young age I was enterprising enough to sell articles to Chinese newspapers and magazines. At first I was paid in stamps, which I would use to write to pen friends outside of Malaysia. Later as the articles became longer, postal orders were used. The most I was paid for a single story was to Reader's Digest All in A Day's Work at US$30, it was a joke with a 63 word count.
Eight years after my first offer, I did accept an offer to study in Virginia, USA. It was not for writing. I was selected for being good in all three branches of Science and Mathematics. Of course being able to write well helped tremendously in the selection essays or statement of purpose.
In the university, I had to fulfil requirements. In year two I took a second level writing course and chose to write a term paper on my maternal grandma's biography. In year three I could not find anything I like and ended up with an independent study writing Chinese folk tales with my writing instructor. My instructor happened to be a professional copy-editor, she was surprised that as a foreign student I could produce work on par with publishable manuscript. She made me promise I would hold on to the eight folk tales and not throw them away. I actually brought it back from Texas both in diskette and in printed forms.
Thirty six years passed by. I still write almost daily, in my journals, letters, notes, e-mails, ... Then when my children showed me what a nifty way it is to store things on line, I started blogging. In no time was I convinced to publish my work. I didn't need money as my needs are few. I am fearful of being known. It is very easy to be totally anonymous. I have little ambition, and I no longer wanted to be rich. I have seen how my friends and classmates become rich and turned into people I could hardly recognise. And I dare not say that wealth would not change me to be a lesser person. And so I muddle on, year after year.
Then I was sick and came close to dying. I told my children I have stored on line 7 and 1/2 books. I offered to write down instructions on how to get them ready for publishing. They dared not take on the responsibility to publish posthumously. It was a mental choice to fight to live. By God's mercy, I won the battle and live to publish 3 books. The first was Stories My Grandma Told me. The second was Animal Stories and the third was a Chinese translation of book one plus an article left by my dad: The Stories of Four Generations. The fourth one is in the pipeline: it will be a collection of picture devotional articles, title to be determined.
I came from a poor family, at a very young age I was enterprising enough to sell articles to Chinese newspapers and magazines. At first I was paid in stamps, which I would use to write to pen friends outside of Malaysia. Later as the articles became longer, postal orders were used. The most I was paid for a single story was to Reader's Digest All in A Day's Work at US$30, it was a joke with a 63 word count.
Eight years after my first offer, I did accept an offer to study in Virginia, USA. It was not for writing. I was selected for being good in all three branches of Science and Mathematics. Of course being able to write well helped tremendously in the selection essays or statement of purpose.
In the university, I had to fulfil requirements. In year two I took a second level writing course and chose to write a term paper on my maternal grandma's biography. In year three I could not find anything I like and ended up with an independent study writing Chinese folk tales with my writing instructor. My instructor happened to be a professional copy-editor, she was surprised that as a foreign student I could produce work on par with publishable manuscript. She made me promise I would hold on to the eight folk tales and not throw them away. I actually brought it back from Texas both in diskette and in printed forms.
Thirty six years passed by. I still write almost daily, in my journals, letters, notes, e-mails, ... Then when my children showed me what a nifty way it is to store things on line, I started blogging. In no time was I convinced to publish my work. I didn't need money as my needs are few. I am fearful of being known. It is very easy to be totally anonymous. I have little ambition, and I no longer wanted to be rich. I have seen how my friends and classmates become rich and turned into people I could hardly recognise. And I dare not say that wealth would not change me to be a lesser person. And so I muddle on, year after year.
Then I was sick and came close to dying. I told my children I have stored on line 7 and 1/2 books. I offered to write down instructions on how to get them ready for publishing. They dared not take on the responsibility to publish posthumously. It was a mental choice to fight to live. By God's mercy, I won the battle and live to publish 3 books. The first was Stories My Grandma Told me. The second was Animal Stories and the third was a Chinese translation of book one plus an article left by my dad: The Stories of Four Generations. The fourth one is in the pipeline: it will be a collection of picture devotional articles, title to be determined.
(1211) The act of writing
There are three groups of people.
1. Those who write naturally
2. Those who write with great difficulties
3. Those who work really hard to write well
It is easy for group 1 to become writers.
It is inevitable that 99% of group 2 do not write daily for enjoyment.
I can think of two individuals from group 3: a form mate of mine became a staff writer in the main English newspaper. She was in my class at age 13. Later I joined the science stream but she chose the arts stream.
My youngest daughter's bus mate who became a cub reporter for a weekend newspaper in Silver City.
From the time I was nine years old I was aware that I enjoyed writing and could produce work that was passed around among the Chinese language teachers in the staff room. Most of the time I was embarrassed because I did not work hard and didn't really deserve to be praised.
At age 12 the headmistress offered me a private scholarship to a private Chinese High School. She promised me that should I continue to write well, the scholarship would extend to a journalism degree in Taiwan. The sponsors were a group of wealthy women who would like to see a female become the executive editor of a Chinese national daily.
I kept quiet about the offer because I knew that my mum and dad would force me to accept it. They both feel that I should confine my natural talents to serve the Chinese language, culture and community.
Being stubborn, I went to a Malay school and pursue my dream of becoming good in English. Looking back, it was a mulish habit to fight a disability. It would have been very natural and easy to pursue what I was born to excel in and become a specialist in that field.
That was not to be.
1. Those who write naturally
2. Those who write with great difficulties
3. Those who work really hard to write well
It is easy for group 1 to become writers.
It is inevitable that 99% of group 2 do not write daily for enjoyment.
I can think of two individuals from group 3: a form mate of mine became a staff writer in the main English newspaper. She was in my class at age 13. Later I joined the science stream but she chose the arts stream.
My youngest daughter's bus mate who became a cub reporter for a weekend newspaper in Silver City.
From the time I was nine years old I was aware that I enjoyed writing and could produce work that was passed around among the Chinese language teachers in the staff room. Most of the time I was embarrassed because I did not work hard and didn't really deserve to be praised.
At age 12 the headmistress offered me a private scholarship to a private Chinese High School. She promised me that should I continue to write well, the scholarship would extend to a journalism degree in Taiwan. The sponsors were a group of wealthy women who would like to see a female become the executive editor of a Chinese national daily.
I kept quiet about the offer because I knew that my mum and dad would force me to accept it. They both feel that I should confine my natural talents to serve the Chinese language, culture and community.
Being stubborn, I went to a Malay school and pursue my dream of becoming good in English. Looking back, it was a mulish habit to fight a disability. It would have been very natural and easy to pursue what I was born to excel in and become a specialist in that field.
That was not to be.
Thursday, January 23, 2020
(1211) smash the hand phone
The smart phone is a versatile instrument that most people could not live without.
More than ten years ago I was staying in a rental semi-detached on a road called Desa Mansion. It was an old housing estate very near to the city in a tin mining town. The average number of people staying in those big houses is four. Many such houses were occupied by the old folks whose children have flown the coup.
Opposite my house lived a young couple with one son and one maid in renovated splendour. There were four huge rooms upstairs and one spacious room downstairs. The young mistress was a beautiful woman. She owns her retreat house a few miles away. Whenever she had a tiff with her indulgent husband, she would disappear for a few weeks before being "courted" by her husband to return.
One day he must have laid down some unacceptable rules, she threw her new hand phone (purchased and given by her husband) onto his new car's windscreen. I happened to be weeding in my front garden and heard the crash. Soon a group of old ladies and maids gathered in front of my gate to look at the shattered windscreen.
If you have been following this blog lately, you would know a 13 year old boy who alternated between mom's and dad's abodes. He was given I-pad and I-phone when he was 7 years old. Both gadgets were abruptly withdrawn one November, he was angry enough to throw his phone at the wide screen TV. As a consequence of the action, he was denied a vacation in his father's town.
Here I note that the action of a child was not very different from that of a 35 year old woman who was a successful car salesperson.
More than ten years ago I was staying in a rental semi-detached on a road called Desa Mansion. It was an old housing estate very near to the city in a tin mining town. The average number of people staying in those big houses is four. Many such houses were occupied by the old folks whose children have flown the coup.
Opposite my house lived a young couple with one son and one maid in renovated splendour. There were four huge rooms upstairs and one spacious room downstairs. The young mistress was a beautiful woman. She owns her retreat house a few miles away. Whenever she had a tiff with her indulgent husband, she would disappear for a few weeks before being "courted" by her husband to return.
One day he must have laid down some unacceptable rules, she threw her new hand phone (purchased and given by her husband) onto his new car's windscreen. I happened to be weeding in my front garden and heard the crash. Soon a group of old ladies and maids gathered in front of my gate to look at the shattered windscreen.
If you have been following this blog lately, you would know a 13 year old boy who alternated between mom's and dad's abodes. He was given I-pad and I-phone when he was 7 years old. Both gadgets were abruptly withdrawn one November, he was angry enough to throw his phone at the wide screen TV. As a consequence of the action, he was denied a vacation in his father's town.
Here I note that the action of a child was not very different from that of a 35 year old woman who was a successful car salesperson.
(1210) Swear words
Swearing is like smoking. One can easily pick it up from family members and people around either at home or in school.
I had a Chemistry professor who said "sugar!" whenever she got flustered or upset. Most people would utter "sh*t" in undertone. My lab buddy, however, chose to say "shark!" whenever her experiments were going to pieces. We were doing organic chemistry experiments that were long, complicated and it was often tedious to get satisfactory result.
Here in a corner of Borneo, Chinese school boys say "Da bien" (sh*t) in abandon. I hear it in bus stops, shops near secondary schools. Interestingly, my son claimed that some of them limit such swear words to outside of the parental orbit. There is a tuition centre in my housing estate. Children were utilising hand phone to call for rides, often they play games and talk to their friends too. The few times I walked past, conversations were peppered with very colourful language, either in Mandarin or Cantonese.
Just a few days ago, I was commenting about English pronunciation, accent, and ability to persuade. One of the students in my son's tutoring group is 13 years old. He evidently has the gift of the gab. Without trying too hard, he could be witty and sarcastic. I said in passing that if he could improve his Bahasa (the national language, used in the courts), he would make a good lawyer. He laughed and said that would be over his parents' dead bodies. Somehow Chinese still think that lawyers subvert justice by saving murderers from death sentences. Anyway, he said that he would only get himself into jail should he swear at the judge in court when provoked. Interesting!
I had a Chemistry professor who said "sugar!" whenever she got flustered or upset. Most people would utter "sh*t" in undertone. My lab buddy, however, chose to say "shark!" whenever her experiments were going to pieces. We were doing organic chemistry experiments that were long, complicated and it was often tedious to get satisfactory result.
Here in a corner of Borneo, Chinese school boys say "Da bien" (sh*t) in abandon. I hear it in bus stops, shops near secondary schools. Interestingly, my son claimed that some of them limit such swear words to outside of the parental orbit. There is a tuition centre in my housing estate. Children were utilising hand phone to call for rides, often they play games and talk to their friends too. The few times I walked past, conversations were peppered with very colourful language, either in Mandarin or Cantonese.
Just a few days ago, I was commenting about English pronunciation, accent, and ability to persuade. One of the students in my son's tutoring group is 13 years old. He evidently has the gift of the gab. Without trying too hard, he could be witty and sarcastic. I said in passing that if he could improve his Bahasa (the national language, used in the courts), he would make a good lawyer. He laughed and said that would be over his parents' dead bodies. Somehow Chinese still think that lawyers subvert justice by saving murderers from death sentences. Anyway, he said that he would only get himself into jail should he swear at the judge in court when provoked. Interesting!
(1209) Music police
Mrs Francis is an avid orchestra fan. She watches musical concerts, opera, ballet, plays and visiting singer's concerts.
Her husband, however, is totally bored by such entertainment. It does not matter how mush the tickets cost, he invariably measures such events by how long he could sleep without snoring.
One day, his beloved daughter took part as Alice in a ballet end of the year performance: Alice in Wonderland. Well, he could hardly excuse himself this round. It looked like he had to suffer through it, whether he likes to or not. And the entire family and extended clan would be there to prevent him from sleeping.
It just so happened that Mr Francis sat on the second row dead centre in the auditorium. Every time he nodded off, the sweet young thing in front of him would turn her head swiftly to the right or to the left to talk to either seat partner. It was sweet justice, from the perspective of Mrs Francis, that every bout of sleep was interrupted by swishing hair slashing against Francis' bull dog face.
Believe you me, he didn't get to sleep at all. The long hair teenager acted unknowingly as a music police to wake him up time and again.
Her husband, however, is totally bored by such entertainment. It does not matter how mush the tickets cost, he invariably measures such events by how long he could sleep without snoring.
One day, his beloved daughter took part as Alice in a ballet end of the year performance: Alice in Wonderland. Well, he could hardly excuse himself this round. It looked like he had to suffer through it, whether he likes to or not. And the entire family and extended clan would be there to prevent him from sleeping.
It just so happened that Mr Francis sat on the second row dead centre in the auditorium. Every time he nodded off, the sweet young thing in front of him would turn her head swiftly to the right or to the left to talk to either seat partner. It was sweet justice, from the perspective of Mrs Francis, that every bout of sleep was interrupted by swishing hair slashing against Francis' bull dog face.
Believe you me, he didn't get to sleep at all. The long hair teenager acted unknowingly as a music police to wake him up time and again.
(1208) Courting allowance
Here in a back water town, I see many interesting dramas. I'll relate one.
Two families live within hailing distance. One on the left side and the other on the right side separated by about six houses. Family has a seventeen year old boy. Family B produced three pretty daughters. The middle girl who is fourteen years old chose our teenage boy hero as her boy friend. Please note that both families fully sanction the relationship.
In fact the girl's mum made plans that the boy's parents fully concur with. When the girl finishes her school certificate, at age 16(she must have skipped a year), both boy and girl friend will go to Taiwan to further their studies. The boy will go to university and the girl will go for make-up and skin care course.
Meanwhile, the boy is spending most of his allowance on her. He even saves up any extra to indulge her on her whims: maybe a facial in a new place that costs $120. If you look at his family background, you may see why it is so. The boy's uncle fell in love with a girl of a different race against the family's wishes. It happened that she was pregnant and they were forced to get married. He had no choice but to change his religion to follow her according to the law of the land. Sad to say the marriage did not last. She divorced him leaving behind two children for the father and grandma to care for. It is hard to believe but the eligible single father remained single.
Whether this relationship works out or not in the end, it does not matter. It is an acceptable girl. She is from the right race, right religion and correct background. AS the guy's dad and grandma are well to do, they don't mind indulging him with a hefty monthly courting allowance.
Two families live within hailing distance. One on the left side and the other on the right side separated by about six houses. Family has a seventeen year old boy. Family B produced three pretty daughters. The middle girl who is fourteen years old chose our teenage boy hero as her boy friend. Please note that both families fully sanction the relationship.
In fact the girl's mum made plans that the boy's parents fully concur with. When the girl finishes her school certificate, at age 16(she must have skipped a year), both boy and girl friend will go to Taiwan to further their studies. The boy will go to university and the girl will go for make-up and skin care course.
Meanwhile, the boy is spending most of his allowance on her. He even saves up any extra to indulge her on her whims: maybe a facial in a new place that costs $120. If you look at his family background, you may see why it is so. The boy's uncle fell in love with a girl of a different race against the family's wishes. It happened that she was pregnant and they were forced to get married. He had no choice but to change his religion to follow her according to the law of the land. Sad to say the marriage did not last. She divorced him leaving behind two children for the father and grandma to care for. It is hard to believe but the eligible single father remained single.
Whether this relationship works out or not in the end, it does not matter. It is an acceptable girl. She is from the right race, right religion and correct background. AS the guy's dad and grandma are well to do, they don't mind indulging him with a hefty monthly courting allowance.
(1207) To give or not to give
In the last blog, we talked about illicit hand phones that parents know nothing about. Let us follow such transactions through the years.
A bought a second-hand phone from a school mate. He placed it in another friend's house within walking distance from his home. As the phone ages, he could no longer continue to play certain games as they evolved until the old phone no longer could function efficiently running such a big program due to the memory constraints.
The old phone, however, is still perfectly functional. One could use it for What's app, We chat, sms, go online, take selfie and video. It has a certain monetary value for those who are not gamers. A could locate a buyer and unload his old phone before purchasing a brand new phone should he be able to save up enough dough. And of course such transactions are often risk prone. A friend's friend may not be trustworthy when it comes to financial dealing. Should any parent or teacher sniff any scent of such illicit sale or purchase, the authorities would clamp down on it and everyone loses either item or cash. Worse still, a person's credibility is totally gone in a moment.
Still, the smart phone is an essential part of our lives. You give it to a child too early and you create unnecessary problems. Yet if you with hold it for too long, your child will suffer the under development of digital soft skills which is so important for successful modern living.
A bought a second-hand phone from a school mate. He placed it in another friend's house within walking distance from his home. As the phone ages, he could no longer continue to play certain games as they evolved until the old phone no longer could function efficiently running such a big program due to the memory constraints.
The old phone, however, is still perfectly functional. One could use it for What's app, We chat, sms, go online, take selfie and video. It has a certain monetary value for those who are not gamers. A could locate a buyer and unload his old phone before purchasing a brand new phone should he be able to save up enough dough. And of course such transactions are often risk prone. A friend's friend may not be trustworthy when it comes to financial dealing. Should any parent or teacher sniff any scent of such illicit sale or purchase, the authorities would clamp down on it and everyone loses either item or cash. Worse still, a person's credibility is totally gone in a moment.
Still, the smart phone is an essential part of our lives. You give it to a child too early and you create unnecessary problems. Yet if you with hold it for too long, your child will suffer the under development of digital soft skills which is so important for successful modern living.
(1206) Game addict
Starting from Atari, video games on TV screen have entered the home as a means of entertainment. About 40 years ago, I spent an entire night glued to a monitor screen playing "dungeon and dragons". That was in the 24hour computer centre in the Science Building on campus. It was also the very last time I played any electronic game.
Here in a coastal city along the Eastern side of Borneo, it seemed that every other teenager is playing some smart phone game. That day as I walked past a Malay eating place two Malay teenagers were playing "Wang Tzi" (The prince) at 7am on a week day. It is a game from China.
Let us follow the electronic path of a sixteen year old boy. Dad bought him a smart phone for his 12th birthday. He made full use of it playing games of all kinds until the phone was worn out. Then he substituted each phone with his dad's cast off. By the time he is 14, dad confiscated his phone for weekdays because he was by then a game addict who would lose sleep to win. But dad did not know that he secretly saved up his allowance to buy a second hand phone from his school mate. He was smart enough to hide his illicit phone in his friend's house which is within walking distance from his home. Therefore even on weekdays he has access to games in the afternoons.
I heard from his friends that he was putting his game accounts for sale to raise fund to purchase new phone. By now he has invested many years of his free time to rise up in the gaming hierarchy and he has spent perhaps $1,400 into buying all kinds of accessories and software peripherals popular to teenagers in this part of the world. He is asking for $500 for each account. We will see if there is any takers!
Here in a coastal city along the Eastern side of Borneo, it seemed that every other teenager is playing some smart phone game. That day as I walked past a Malay eating place two Malay teenagers were playing "Wang Tzi" (The prince) at 7am on a week day. It is a game from China.
Let us follow the electronic path of a sixteen year old boy. Dad bought him a smart phone for his 12th birthday. He made full use of it playing games of all kinds until the phone was worn out. Then he substituted each phone with his dad's cast off. By the time he is 14, dad confiscated his phone for weekdays because he was by then a game addict who would lose sleep to win. But dad did not know that he secretly saved up his allowance to buy a second hand phone from his school mate. He was smart enough to hide his illicit phone in his friend's house which is within walking distance from his home. Therefore even on weekdays he has access to games in the afternoons.
I heard from his friends that he was putting his game accounts for sale to raise fund to purchase new phone. By now he has invested many years of his free time to rise up in the gaming hierarchy and he has spent perhaps $1,400 into buying all kinds of accessories and software peripherals popular to teenagers in this part of the world. He is asking for $500 for each account. We will see if there is any takers!
(1205) Change of perspective
It is interesting how a person can change her perspective quite a bit over the years.
Twenty six years ago, I was in silver city. As my youngest was in morning session for the first year in standard 4, I excused myself from my care group on Wednesday nights. To fit in the bed time for early rising, I started to attend a cell group from a sister church on Friday nights.
Veronica is the parent of a child in my youngest daughter's class. She invited me to join her group. For a consultant specialist in a private hospital, it is unheard of that a specialist doctor paid only $10 for her hair cut. That year, all three of her daughters were under the age of 10, so all four of the females would go to have their hair cut in the same saloon near the market. I must confess that I was a homemaker with zero earning potential, yet I paid $12 for a trim in a place near my housing estate. Well, I figure for a person without a car, the nearest place would make the most sense.
Lately, I visited her and wrapped up my third book in her lovely home. It was ten days of eight hour work to proof read and write up the preface and the epilogue. It was blessed silence in her mansion quite apart from the main road and traffic. I enjoyed three meals a day prepared by her maid. Laundry was taken care off. The phone was off and stored in a drawer upstairs. It was easy to do good work in such peaceful surrounding. Now I know why authors have their hideaway house. Only thing this poor and unknown author could not afford to own such a place. God has been good to me to supply me my good friend's home.
We talked about skin care one evening. Even though I have never been a well-to-do person, I invested money into my youngest' skin regimen. Somehow I knew she was destined for a public career, she has the looks, the personality, the capability and the poise to rise above the hum drum rank and file.
My hostess talked about how she spent money on facial for all three of her daughters. How the business worked is for a client to purchase a certificate worth $1,000 which will be valid for one calendar year. One could use it for facial or to purchase skin care products. That particular brand of products solved her elder two children's skin problems. From the details given, she was purchasing the fourth certificate a few days prior to my visit. I listened to all she said with patience and interest, but I know $680 for a year's worth of cleanser and toner would be way out of my daughter's pay grade, especially if she has to travel to a town three hours away for facials periodically.
Twenty six years ago, I was in silver city. As my youngest was in morning session for the first year in standard 4, I excused myself from my care group on Wednesday nights. To fit in the bed time for early rising, I started to attend a cell group from a sister church on Friday nights.
Veronica is the parent of a child in my youngest daughter's class. She invited me to join her group. For a consultant specialist in a private hospital, it is unheard of that a specialist doctor paid only $10 for her hair cut. That year, all three of her daughters were under the age of 10, so all four of the females would go to have their hair cut in the same saloon near the market. I must confess that I was a homemaker with zero earning potential, yet I paid $12 for a trim in a place near my housing estate. Well, I figure for a person without a car, the nearest place would make the most sense.
Lately, I visited her and wrapped up my third book in her lovely home. It was ten days of eight hour work to proof read and write up the preface and the epilogue. It was blessed silence in her mansion quite apart from the main road and traffic. I enjoyed three meals a day prepared by her maid. Laundry was taken care off. The phone was off and stored in a drawer upstairs. It was easy to do good work in such peaceful surrounding. Now I know why authors have their hideaway house. Only thing this poor and unknown author could not afford to own such a place. God has been good to me to supply me my good friend's home.
We talked about skin care one evening. Even though I have never been a well-to-do person, I invested money into my youngest' skin regimen. Somehow I knew she was destined for a public career, she has the looks, the personality, the capability and the poise to rise above the hum drum rank and file.
My hostess talked about how she spent money on facial for all three of her daughters. How the business worked is for a client to purchase a certificate worth $1,000 which will be valid for one calendar year. One could use it for facial or to purchase skin care products. That particular brand of products solved her elder two children's skin problems. From the details given, she was purchasing the fourth certificate a few days prior to my visit. I listened to all she said with patience and interest, but I know $680 for a year's worth of cleanser and toner would be way out of my daughter's pay grade, especially if she has to travel to a town three hours away for facials periodically.
(1204)Handmade mouse mama.
Looking at a book teaching mothers how to hand sew soft toys, I thought of one particular toy.
Until today, I haven't seen it. However, I have a detail description of it from my auntie. It is a cloth-made mama mouse. There is a hat matching the country cottage long dress. The mama mouse was holding a cloth basket made of cherry motive cloth trimmed with lace. Without using a ruler, I think from the hat to the hem of the dress is about ten inches. The overall colour scheme is pastel.
About six months after the birth of my last child, I lost the ability to walk. My toddler was sent to my parents' in laws, my baby was cared for by a day nanny who came to my house. My cousin who grew up in my parent's house (before I left for further studies and get married) bought and gave the above described toy to my toddler.
This is probably 26 years later. Yesterday I repaired a teddy bear shredded by a rather "violent" washing machine. The teddy was a Christmas present given by the church to my son (a Sunday School pupil) many years ago. My youngest was given a duck. The two duly exchanged their gifts. After all, the toy duck wore no clothes (therefore gender neutral) but the bear wore a sailor dress. Yes, that many years ago, even children under the age of 9 knew instinctively about such things.
I heard about the toy when my auntie was thinking of buying something like that for her first grand daughter. Interestingly my cousin the purchaser had forgotten all about the toy mouse. My uncle, however, gave my auntie an earful for contemplating to fritter away hard earned cash. He thought it would be ridiculous to spend $100 for such a toy. On the other hand, my mum firmly believed that a limited edition hand made soft toy would sell above $200.
*............
*
Until today, I haven't seen it. However, I have a detail description of it from my auntie. It is a cloth-made mama mouse. There is a hat matching the country cottage long dress. The mama mouse was holding a cloth basket made of cherry motive cloth trimmed with lace. Without using a ruler, I think from the hat to the hem of the dress is about ten inches. The overall colour scheme is pastel.
About six months after the birth of my last child, I lost the ability to walk. My toddler was sent to my parents' in laws, my baby was cared for by a day nanny who came to my house. My cousin who grew up in my parent's house (before I left for further studies and get married) bought and gave the above described toy to my toddler.
This is probably 26 years later. Yesterday I repaired a teddy bear shredded by a rather "violent" washing machine. The teddy was a Christmas present given by the church to my son (a Sunday School pupil) many years ago. My youngest was given a duck. The two duly exchanged their gifts. After all, the toy duck wore no clothes (therefore gender neutral) but the bear wore a sailor dress. Yes, that many years ago, even children under the age of 9 knew instinctively about such things.
I heard about the toy when my auntie was thinking of buying something like that for her first grand daughter. Interestingly my cousin the purchaser had forgotten all about the toy mouse. My uncle, however, gave my auntie an earful for contemplating to fritter away hard earned cash. He thought it would be ridiculous to spend $100 for such a toy. On the other hand, my mum firmly believed that a limited edition hand made soft toy would sell above $200.
*............
*
Sunday, January 19, 2020
(1203) Skills acquired
I ask myself what I did learn from the one-month work as child minder and cook?
The first answer is gratefulness that as a family we resisted big screen colour TV and wireless 24 hour TV programming. As my children were growing up, we moved from one rental property to the next. Without proper TV antenna, even a 20-inch colour TV screen was no fun to watch. When my children fell in love with the cartoon channel, it was my husband who veto having to pay $80 a month of subscription fee to Astro the cable network.
After I stopped working full time, my children were privileged to grow up with lots of children's books borrowed from public library. Imagine, if a mother gives 0-7 years of full time care to each child she bears, it usually equals to a career suicide if she has more than 2 children and if there is a gap between children. Yet I have seen friends who worked full time until the last child turned 7 before quitting their job to drive the car pools. Invariably they have tough time working against the habits of half grown children formed under other carers.
Of course those who worked that extra ten or more years would have accumulated much money in Employee Provident Fund. Perhaps they have invested in a well rounded share portfolio or own one rental property.
Going back to the topic at hand, I have achieved only two things:
1. The girl's table manners improved
2. Should the boy implement my suggestions, he would be able to overcome a range of social ineptness.
The first answer is gratefulness that as a family we resisted big screen colour TV and wireless 24 hour TV programming. As my children were growing up, we moved from one rental property to the next. Without proper TV antenna, even a 20-inch colour TV screen was no fun to watch. When my children fell in love with the cartoon channel, it was my husband who veto having to pay $80 a month of subscription fee to Astro the cable network.
After I stopped working full time, my children were privileged to grow up with lots of children's books borrowed from public library. Imagine, if a mother gives 0-7 years of full time care to each child she bears, it usually equals to a career suicide if she has more than 2 children and if there is a gap between children. Yet I have seen friends who worked full time until the last child turned 7 before quitting their job to drive the car pools. Invariably they have tough time working against the habits of half grown children formed under other carers.
Of course those who worked that extra ten or more years would have accumulated much money in Employee Provident Fund. Perhaps they have invested in a well rounded share portfolio or own one rental property.
Going back to the topic at hand, I have achieved only two things:
1. The girl's table manners improved
2. Should the boy implement my suggestions, he would be able to overcome a range of social ineptness.
(1202) Poltergeist?
This is a real incident that happened in Silver City many years ago.
There was this couple in my life group. Mr Tee was a contractor. Mrs Tee was a homemaker who takes care of toddlers as a profession. One day she tagged along with her sister to visit a tarot card reader. That very evening items started flying in her home. Mr Tee called the pastor and the entire prayer team turned up. After explaining how serious it was for a believer to dabble in the occult, the couple confessed in prayer. The phenomenon ceased.
In the same city, there is a woman who warned me not to let my children watch "Teletubie" on TV. She related what she read in a magazine. There was a brother and sister duo whose ages were four and two respectively. Their parents were active Christians. Yet the children regularly watched such TV programs, followed such video programs often and owned more than twenty such soft toys. One day the children were being extra difficult and the parents locked up every single one of the soft toys. Guess what happened? Objects flew, defying gravity. The end result was the Ministry team turned up in full force, Mum and Dad repented in prayer. The toys and video tapes were burned and destroyed that very evening.
At that time, there was no working TV in my house. The very next time such a program came on in my brother's house, I watched about five minutes of it with my children, my niece and nephew. To me it seemed artificial, stilted and not interesting. As I walked off, the children changed the channel immediately. Of course all of them were then more than six years old. Apparently that program was targeted at very young children. Since my children became avid readers at very young ages, it was not that difficult to discourage TV watching on normal school days.
There was this couple in my life group. Mr Tee was a contractor. Mrs Tee was a homemaker who takes care of toddlers as a profession. One day she tagged along with her sister to visit a tarot card reader. That very evening items started flying in her home. Mr Tee called the pastor and the entire prayer team turned up. After explaining how serious it was for a believer to dabble in the occult, the couple confessed in prayer. The phenomenon ceased.
In the same city, there is a woman who warned me not to let my children watch "Teletubie" on TV. She related what she read in a magazine. There was a brother and sister duo whose ages were four and two respectively. Their parents were active Christians. Yet the children regularly watched such TV programs, followed such video programs often and owned more than twenty such soft toys. One day the children were being extra difficult and the parents locked up every single one of the soft toys. Guess what happened? Objects flew, defying gravity. The end result was the Ministry team turned up in full force, Mum and Dad repented in prayer. The toys and video tapes were burned and destroyed that very evening.
At that time, there was no working TV in my house. The very next time such a program came on in my brother's house, I watched about five minutes of it with my children, my niece and nephew. To me it seemed artificial, stilted and not interesting. As I walked off, the children changed the channel immediately. Of course all of them were then more than six years old. Apparently that program was targeted at very young children. Since my children became avid readers at very young ages, it was not that difficult to discourage TV watching on normal school days.
(1201) Unexpected influence of toys
This is a continuing account of the nine-year-old girl. Prior to us starting the month, the father gave us house keys and a door key to a guest room. We could lock up whatever item deemed dangerous or interfering with daily lessons.
On the Friday right before their return to home town date (Tuesday), our sassy girl threw a challenge at my son. She thought he wouldn't dare to lock up her five soft toys. Normally he is a most patient and mild person, but throw him a serious challenge and you are going to have it- exactly what one does not want to happen.
And so the five soft toys were in detention over the week end. For the following two hours, she ranted. She screamed. She cried. She begged. To no avail! Then she calmed down and it was as if nothing unusual had happened.
The next Monday, we found her almost another person. Her American accent was fading. She began to make small grammar mistakes. Her voice was less shrill. She was less intense. Even her facial expression seemed different, less I-know-better-than-you and no more smirk. She run less. She looked for snacks less frequently. The desire to strut around naked was gone.
She began begging for the soft toys to be released. After ten minutes of argument, she gave up. We told her everything in the room would come out and the keys would be returned to her dad at 5pm. It was quite an extra-ordinary experience to underline how important it was for parents to choose toys, TV programs and activities that bring good influence to their children.
On the Friday right before their return to home town date (Tuesday), our sassy girl threw a challenge at my son. She thought he wouldn't dare to lock up her five soft toys. Normally he is a most patient and mild person, but throw him a serious challenge and you are going to have it- exactly what one does not want to happen.
And so the five soft toys were in detention over the week end. For the following two hours, she ranted. She screamed. She cried. She begged. To no avail! Then she calmed down and it was as if nothing unusual had happened.
The next Monday, we found her almost another person. Her American accent was fading. She began to make small grammar mistakes. Her voice was less shrill. She was less intense. Even her facial expression seemed different, less I-know-better-than-you and no more smirk. She run less. She looked for snacks less frequently. The desire to strut around naked was gone.
She began begging for the soft toys to be released. After ten minutes of argument, she gave up. We told her everything in the room would come out and the keys would be returned to her dad at 5pm. It was quite an extra-ordinary experience to underline how important it was for parents to choose toys, TV programs and activities that bring good influence to their children.
(1200) Sibling rivalry
Comparing eating habits, the 13-year old boy was a joy to feed. Dad took his two children and carer-tutors to eat a hefty breakfast. Lunch is at 12:30 pm. Tea is at three. No matter what I served, he took normal portions.
His sister, however, is different! Every half an hour she runs to the fridge. Even after eating an adult portion of duck noodle at 7:30am, by eight she munches on a few grapes. At ten out comes the orange to be pealed. Even when all fruits are eaten, she would dip her fingers into milo powder for licking. Of course it did not help that the sweet girl gets chocolates, pastries, donuts from neighbours and dad regularly.
Since she refused to co-operate in learning the national language, we located a few work books teaching cursive writing. As her brother was diligently reading and writing essays in the national language, she habitually runs in to disturb him.
Siblings fight. These two are rough. As they wrestle, run around the apartment, sits on each other by turns, my policy is non-interference as long as there is no broken bone or bleeding. They punched and kicked, yelled in pain and each heads for time out in different rooms. Since there is a 4 year age gap, the girl is obviously at a disadvantage physically.
Only once I was concerned enough to examine her back, noted a bruise and rubbed it with ointment I found. I really cannot understand why she kept going back for more punches and physical confrontations. It is as if she hardly suffers pain like any ordinary mortal girl.
His sister, however, is different! Every half an hour she runs to the fridge. Even after eating an adult portion of duck noodle at 7:30am, by eight she munches on a few grapes. At ten out comes the orange to be pealed. Even when all fruits are eaten, she would dip her fingers into milo powder for licking. Of course it did not help that the sweet girl gets chocolates, pastries, donuts from neighbours and dad regularly.
Since she refused to co-operate in learning the national language, we located a few work books teaching cursive writing. As her brother was diligently reading and writing essays in the national language, she habitually runs in to disturb him.
Siblings fight. These two are rough. As they wrestle, run around the apartment, sits on each other by turns, my policy is non-interference as long as there is no broken bone or bleeding. They punched and kicked, yelled in pain and each heads for time out in different rooms. Since there is a 4 year age gap, the girl is obviously at a disadvantage physically.
Only once I was concerned enough to examine her back, noted a bruise and rubbed it with ointment I found. I really cannot understand why she kept going back for more punches and physical confrontations. It is as if she hardly suffers pain like any ordinary mortal girl.
Friday, January 17, 2020
(1199) Good points
It is very easy to focus on problems and miss out on the good points of a child. I am still on the two children of previous blogs.
While the boy is a rather serious young person, the girl is full of smiles. I am probably an extremely low scorer on being touchy-feely, she still managed to wrangle quite a few hugs out of me every day.
Apparently last year during Christmas carolling the eight year old girl was physically chasing shy teenage boys for bear hugs. Apart from demanding hugs every fifteen minutes, she is a load of fun to be with. It was very easy to teach her to wipe dining table and wash her own cutlery and dishes. She is most enthusiastic about helping to prepare a meal.
As my son showed her a jar of homemade cookies given by a good friend, she agreed to a competition of cleaning glass shower door to earn a right to eat the goody. I showed her how to clean one side, she scrubbed and washed the other side. In the process, she came to appreciate how difficult it was for her home helper to earn the latter's wage. I suppose it is the case of a child from upper middle class family being cocooned by the parents' earning capacity.
While the boy is a rather serious young person, the girl is full of smiles. I am probably an extremely low scorer on being touchy-feely, she still managed to wrangle quite a few hugs out of me every day.
Apparently last year during Christmas carolling the eight year old girl was physically chasing shy teenage boys for bear hugs. Apart from demanding hugs every fifteen minutes, she is a load of fun to be with. It was very easy to teach her to wipe dining table and wash her own cutlery and dishes. She is most enthusiastic about helping to prepare a meal.
As my son showed her a jar of homemade cookies given by a good friend, she agreed to a competition of cleaning glass shower door to earn a right to eat the goody. I showed her how to clean one side, she scrubbed and washed the other side. In the process, she came to appreciate how difficult it was for her home helper to earn the latter's wage. I suppose it is the case of a child from upper middle class family being cocooned by the parents' earning capacity.
Monday, January 13, 2020
(1198) Running around unclothed
Not too long ago a mum in church moaned about her two year old daughter habitually took off any clothing and pranced about the house naked. That was because of sensorial distortion, it could be very uncomfortable for a child with autistic symptoms to wear certain material.
I am still writing about the nine-year-old I took care of for one month. She played with water in the kitchen sink until she needed to change her clothes. Well, it seemed an inevitable collateral damage of learning to wash dishes under a full jet of water.
Before she walked into the master bedroom, she started stripping. Then she walked stark naked into the attached bathroom to pee. I closed her bathroom door, told her not to show herself naked out of the bedroom. And I closed the bedroom door as well on my way out.
A few minutes later, she appeared with a short T-shirt but nothing on the lower portion and sashayed across the living room towards the balcony to retrieve an underwear. I promptly dropped the fish I was washing into the sink. She giggled and dodged the towel I located to enfold her. It was great fun for her to run around semi-naked. Her brother commented from the dining table that she habitually does that at home.
I am still writing about the nine-year-old I took care of for one month. She played with water in the kitchen sink until she needed to change her clothes. Well, it seemed an inevitable collateral damage of learning to wash dishes under a full jet of water.
Before she walked into the master bedroom, she started stripping. Then she walked stark naked into the attached bathroom to pee. I closed her bathroom door, told her not to show herself naked out of the bedroom. And I closed the bedroom door as well on my way out.
A few minutes later, she appeared with a short T-shirt but nothing on the lower portion and sashayed across the living room towards the balcony to retrieve an underwear. I promptly dropped the fish I was washing into the sink. She giggled and dodged the towel I located to enfold her. It was great fun for her to run around semi-naked. Her brother commented from the dining table that she habitually does that at home.
Thursday, January 9, 2020
(1197) poor little rich kids
The two children I wrote about in the previous blog have parents who are professional high earners. Yet I find them as curiously deprived children. One would imagine after school they would be transported home and fed by a family maid. Interestingly, the elder one was dropped off early morning at a tuition centre. He does homework and eat an early lunch at the centre. Then he was sent to school by a centre driver.
The girl was dropped off at school every morning. After class she and 25 others travelled in different vehicles to the home of her class teacher. An Indonesian maid served a simple lunch. The 26 children do home work in whatever space they could find in the teacher's home.
My children did not own gadgets as these two did. But the former grew up with a lot of my time and attention. We may not eat in very expensive places. Yet within out humble means, they are exposed to a wide range of different food. The two, I recently cooked for in December, seemed totally out of the normal range . As I talked about old cucumber soup, lotus root soup and potato-tomato-carrot soup (ABC) soup, they looked blur. But they regularly drink lady fingers soup. After all, grandma plants ladies' fingers year round in her land.
The girl was dropped off at school every morning. After class she and 25 others travelled in different vehicles to the home of her class teacher. An Indonesian maid served a simple lunch. The 26 children do home work in whatever space they could find in the teacher's home.
My children did not own gadgets as these two did. But the former grew up with a lot of my time and attention. We may not eat in very expensive places. Yet within out humble means, they are exposed to a wide range of different food. The two, I recently cooked for in December, seemed totally out of the normal range . As I talked about old cucumber soup, lotus root soup and potato-tomato-carrot soup (ABC) soup, they looked blur. But they regularly drink lady fingers soup. After all, grandma plants ladies' fingers year round in her land.
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
(1196) Imaginery friend?
An old friend called. An hour of update later, she asked how I have been. Then what I was doing.
Out of the six months or so here, I spent almost three teaching a 16 year old how to read in English.
It was a case of a learning disabled child being beaten repeatedly through the early years, he completely shut down as far as learning. Tracking his word recognition and understanding, I recorded 426 words within one month.
For 20 working days in December, my son and I assumed care for a brother and sister duo. The brother is 13 and will be in Form 2 in 2020. The sister is 9 and will be in Standard 4 next year.
The brother had autistic symptoms for years. He overcome most of his problems in Standard 6 and Form 1. Looking at his passing grades in Form 1 final exam, he seemed out of the wood.
The sister, however, is a problem. She refused to learn anything but English. At home, she has a room full of Pokemon soft toys. For 11 months a year, she lives with her mom a few hundred miles away from her dad. Here, she is spending a month in her dad's company apartment. I am well used to children playing finger puppets or role playing with soft toys. However, the way she talks to her soft toys is like she is carrying a one way conversation with an imaginary friend.
Out of the six months or so here, I spent almost three teaching a 16 year old how to read in English.
It was a case of a learning disabled child being beaten repeatedly through the early years, he completely shut down as far as learning. Tracking his word recognition and understanding, I recorded 426 words within one month.
For 20 working days in December, my son and I assumed care for a brother and sister duo. The brother is 13 and will be in Form 2 in 2020. The sister is 9 and will be in Standard 4 next year.
The brother had autistic symptoms for years. He overcome most of his problems in Standard 6 and Form 1. Looking at his passing grades in Form 1 final exam, he seemed out of the wood.
The sister, however, is a problem. She refused to learn anything but English. At home, she has a room full of Pokemon soft toys. For 11 months a year, she lives with her mom a few hundred miles away from her dad. Here, she is spending a month in her dad's company apartment. I am well used to children playing finger puppets or role playing with soft toys. However, the way she talks to her soft toys is like she is carrying a one way conversation with an imaginary friend.
Monday, January 6, 2020
(1195) Failures in school
I met a lady from Silver City lately. From her I heard of the following three youngsters.
Age Gender Passing subject
9 girl English
11 boy Science
13 boy Maths
The first two are brother and sister. This year, the boy is 13 and the girl is 9. At their respective ages listed, they failed all subjects except what is listed. The interesting part is their failures are all between 20 and 29%. All three of them go to Chinese Primary Schools.
One of my son's students, he is not listed above, he heard the information from me. He himself was scoring between 20 to 29% in all subjects when he came to us in September in Standard 4. He is 14 this year. He has caught up. For the last exam in 2019, he passed all subjects except History. Now and then he gets A s in Maths and English. He said that the fact that his parents sent him to a good English speaking Kindergarten helped him. He has a good foundation in English. No doubt he could not cope with three languages in the earlier years. Now that most subjects are in the national language, Maths and Science are in two languages helped him. It is possible for him to do well in three subjects.
His Kindergarten happened to be run by my church. It is indeed heart warming to know that he felt grateful to the good teaching he received there years ago.
Age Gender Passing subject
9 girl English
11 boy Science
13 boy Maths
The first two are brother and sister. This year, the boy is 13 and the girl is 9. At their respective ages listed, they failed all subjects except what is listed. The interesting part is their failures are all between 20 and 29%. All three of them go to Chinese Primary Schools.
One of my son's students, he is not listed above, he heard the information from me. He himself was scoring between 20 to 29% in all subjects when he came to us in September in Standard 4. He is 14 this year. He has caught up. For the last exam in 2019, he passed all subjects except History. Now and then he gets A s in Maths and English. He said that the fact that his parents sent him to a good English speaking Kindergarten helped him. He has a good foundation in English. No doubt he could not cope with three languages in the earlier years. Now that most subjects are in the national language, Maths and Science are in two languages helped him. It is possible for him to do well in three subjects.
His Kindergarten happened to be run by my church. It is indeed heart warming to know that he felt grateful to the good teaching he received there years ago.
Sunday, January 5, 2020
(1194) A clown
Many years ago, I was on a city bus travelling to a bus station down town. A small brown skin man was sharing with a Hindu bus driver and an old Chinese conductress.
Apparently, the small sized man who took out a clown's hat, said that he spent seven thousand dollars learning how to be a clown. You see, he has retired from a hard life of repairing roads. The days are long, and his wife expects him to help look after grand children. According to his holy books, he should share his faith with fellow men. And yet, how can an insignificant man like him do much for God? When he saw how children thronged around a clown during the festive opening of a nearby supermarket, a bright idea appeared.
Now he avails himself to bookings. Perhaps it is a birthday party. Maybe it is a lunch wedding reception in a community hall. Sometimes it is a school function. Or an anniversary celebration of a business enterprise. He juggles three balls. He distributes sweets to children. He tells jokes. He acted. Soon he will attend additional training fine tuning his art in sculpting balloons. Being able to add that to his repertoire will help him to command more fee per booking.
Now he meets people every time he clowns and does not lack folks to talk to. He talks about how God has seen him through tough times and lean years. He shares how the good Lord leads him to become a clown. After retirement, his dull life becomes exciting with many events and bookings. He makes new friends. He enjoys his new life as a clown. He was on his way to a town called Silibin to grace a birthday party of a five-year-old.
This incident came back to mind when my son showed me a photo taken during a wedding dinner of the founder's wife of the clown school in Kuala Lumpur.
Apparently, the small sized man who took out a clown's hat, said that he spent seven thousand dollars learning how to be a clown. You see, he has retired from a hard life of repairing roads. The days are long, and his wife expects him to help look after grand children. According to his holy books, he should share his faith with fellow men. And yet, how can an insignificant man like him do much for God? When he saw how children thronged around a clown during the festive opening of a nearby supermarket, a bright idea appeared.
Now he avails himself to bookings. Perhaps it is a birthday party. Maybe it is a lunch wedding reception in a community hall. Sometimes it is a school function. Or an anniversary celebration of a business enterprise. He juggles three balls. He distributes sweets to children. He tells jokes. He acted. Soon he will attend additional training fine tuning his art in sculpting balloons. Being able to add that to his repertoire will help him to command more fee per booking.
Now he meets people every time he clowns and does not lack folks to talk to. He talks about how God has seen him through tough times and lean years. He shares how the good Lord leads him to become a clown. After retirement, his dull life becomes exciting with many events and bookings. He makes new friends. He enjoys his new life as a clown. He was on his way to a town called Silibin to grace a birthday party of a five-year-old.
This incident came back to mind when my son showed me a photo taken during a wedding dinner of the founder's wife of the clown school in Kuala Lumpur.
Thursday, January 2, 2020
(1193) Providence
God is indeed merciful. I am a child who grew up in scarcity, I tend to hoard any surplus. My son, however, is a person of simple faith. He knew that he is in the very centre of God's will. Therefore he is not bothered by the fact that he could be down to the last ten dollars before pay day. Neither does he splurge should he have a thousand dollars extra.
Since I have been here in Borneo with him the last six months, God had mercifully taken me into his consideration. Before a week night group left, God already provided amply for the expectant short fall. It is part of a tuition teacher's lot to deal with parents' finicky preferences. As a group completed PT3 (used to be called LCE or PMR) the students chose to switch over to two week end sessions in a computer aided program started by a bright spark from the state's capitol. Here I can see the attraction, it is cheaper and it leaves week nights free.
For the month of December, I took charge of feeding and supervising two children. My son took on the responsibility of working with both for two hours each week day on the all important national language. Both children usually live with their mother a few hundred miles away. Their
father visits a few times a year. During the month of December, the children spends time with dad. Since dad has to work every weekday, and there is a swimming pool in the condo compound; I feel I could not in good conscience leave a nine year and a thirteen year old with no adult supervision. Should anything happens, I would never be able to live with not helping them. Thanks to the father's generosity, the short fall in income was covered fully up to next December. It was God's creative blessing that enables my son to stick to Borneo for another calendar year. Praise be to his name. From 2013, God has brought in part-time proof reading, part-time writing, and lately temporary
childcare and short-term tuition to keep us afloat in Borneo. Great is His faithfulness.
Since I have been here in Borneo with him the last six months, God had mercifully taken me into his consideration. Before a week night group left, God already provided amply for the expectant short fall. It is part of a tuition teacher's lot to deal with parents' finicky preferences. As a group completed PT3 (used to be called LCE or PMR) the students chose to switch over to two week end sessions in a computer aided program started by a bright spark from the state's capitol. Here I can see the attraction, it is cheaper and it leaves week nights free.
For the month of December, I took charge of feeding and supervising two children. My son took on the responsibility of working with both for two hours each week day on the all important national language. Both children usually live with their mother a few hundred miles away. Their
father visits a few times a year. During the month of December, the children spends time with dad. Since dad has to work every weekday, and there is a swimming pool in the condo compound; I feel I could not in good conscience leave a nine year and a thirteen year old with no adult supervision. Should anything happens, I would never be able to live with not helping them. Thanks to the father's generosity, the short fall in income was covered fully up to next December. It was God's creative blessing that enables my son to stick to Borneo for another calendar year. Praise be to his name. From 2013, God has brought in part-time proof reading, part-time writing, and lately temporary
childcare and short-term tuition to keep us afloat in Borneo. Great is His faithfulness.
Friday, November 8, 2019
(1192) Spending future money
There are two men who started working, acquired credit cards and promptly became a bankrupt with unpaid $30,000 debts.
One is the son of my husband's church friend. Until today, many years after bankruptcy, he is still paying that $200 a month to AKPK(a body that helped the bankrupted save up money to clear debts). He happened to marry a lady that did not mind that he is a bankrupt. She owned the family house and any capital items.
The other is the elder son of my neighbour in the Klang valley. He owns the loudest car in the neighbourhood. Other than that, he is rather unassuming and quiet. He is single and faithfully pays AKPK monthly.
One is the son of my husband's church friend. Until today, many years after bankruptcy, he is still paying that $200 a month to AKPK(a body that helped the bankrupted save up money to clear debts). He happened to marry a lady that did not mind that he is a bankrupt. She owned the family house and any capital items.
The other is the elder son of my neighbour in the Klang valley. He owns the loudest car in the neighbourhood. Other than that, he is rather unassuming and quiet. He is single and faithfully pays AKPK monthly.
(1191) Unattended shopping cart
I was sitting in front of Kentucky Fried Chicken on a bench. Three be veiled ladies decided to buy KFC and walked in, leaving their half loaded shopping cart behind.
Personally I have not seen something like that happening in the Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya supermarkets. I suppose this is a small town. Out of curiosity, I watched to see if anyone would walk off with the cart. After all, it was left right next to the exit in a rather public place.
One woman looked at the cart, looked at the few tables next to it, glanced at me... She did not leave until five minutes later. I guess if I was not sitting there eying her, she could have walked off with it easily. Once she is out of the building, she could move the content into her car boot. No one could stop her then. How would you prove ownership then, anyway?!
Personally I have not seen something like that happening in the Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya supermarkets. I suppose this is a small town. Out of curiosity, I watched to see if anyone would walk off with the cart. After all, it was left right next to the exit in a rather public place.
One woman looked at the cart, looked at the few tables next to it, glanced at me... She did not leave until five minutes later. I guess if I was not sitting there eying her, she could have walked off with it easily. Once she is out of the building, she could move the content into her car boot. No one could stop her then. How would you prove ownership then, anyway?!
(1190) Vegetarian pow
There is a vegetarian movement among the Chinese speaking folks in different communities. From friends I heard that there were two shops in Melaka that offered free vegetarian meals at lunch. Each patron has to serve himself or herself, at the end of the meal wash his plate and cutlery. For those who do not need charity, there is a donation box for whoever who wants to pay.
My mother was very taken with the vegetarian pows from Melaka. The fillings were made from vegetable source, wheat flour was kneaded with water into dough. The dough was wrapped around the fillings, then the finished product was steamed.
Another shop in Kampar, Perak was famous with vegetable pows too. A missionary would buy 20 frozen ones to take back to Kelantan. One has to book by phone a day ahead to reserve such delicacies.
Just the other day I bought and consumed a curry vegetarian pow, it costs $1.60. It tasted fair.
My mother was very taken with the vegetarian pows from Melaka. The fillings were made from vegetable source, wheat flour was kneaded with water into dough. The dough was wrapped around the fillings, then the finished product was steamed.
Another shop in Kampar, Perak was famous with vegetable pows too. A missionary would buy 20 frozen ones to take back to Kelantan. One has to book by phone a day ahead to reserve such delicacies.
Just the other day I bought and consumed a curry vegetarian pow, it costs $1.60. It tasted fair.
(1189) Mirroring relatioships
There is a rule I learn in family relation: the relationship between grandma and mum is often reflected in the relationship between mum and daughter.
Fiona rebelled at age 18, she defied her mum to marry her husband. As a result she was the only one among her siblings who did not go to college. Of course at this point I must be fair and state that the mum was dictatorial and difficult to live with. Fiona has three children, the first one is a girl called Emma.
Emma was a late bloomer but by age 35 she owns a music school. She is not close to her mum and somehow the two just never see eye to eye about anything. Now that Emma expects a first child in December, I wonder whether it is going to be a boy or a girl. Unless Emma shapes up and builds better ties with her mum, history would repeat itself, she would cry over the hurtful actions of her beloved daughter, just like her mum cried over hers.
While I was living in Silver City, my back door neighbour Sheila has a parallel experience with Fiona. Sheila too married her husband over heavy objections of her mum. Even in later years, each has no civil words to say to the other. She too has a elder girl who lives to bring her heart aches. Sheila's husband was wise, he sent her out of town to live with some relatives as soon as the girl reached 17 years old. After pre-university, the girl went to study in another country.
Now I see almost daily my land lady's interactions with her only daughter. Here too, the mum finds faults with the daughter. The daughter chooses to see the mother in not flattering lights. It went back to the grandmother loving only the sons. Sad to say the sons were spoiled and both came home to depend on the old mom while the sons were in their 50s. Mom planted and sold vegetables at age 80 to support the sons. My land lady supplies rice, her one sister pays for electricity and water bills, the other sister would give the mother $30 every month. Thanks to the state welfare system, the old lady gets $150 for her household monthly.
Fiona rebelled at age 18, she defied her mum to marry her husband. As a result she was the only one among her siblings who did not go to college. Of course at this point I must be fair and state that the mum was dictatorial and difficult to live with. Fiona has three children, the first one is a girl called Emma.
Emma was a late bloomer but by age 35 she owns a music school. She is not close to her mum and somehow the two just never see eye to eye about anything. Now that Emma expects a first child in December, I wonder whether it is going to be a boy or a girl. Unless Emma shapes up and builds better ties with her mum, history would repeat itself, she would cry over the hurtful actions of her beloved daughter, just like her mum cried over hers.
While I was living in Silver City, my back door neighbour Sheila has a parallel experience with Fiona. Sheila too married her husband over heavy objections of her mum. Even in later years, each has no civil words to say to the other. She too has a elder girl who lives to bring her heart aches. Sheila's husband was wise, he sent her out of town to live with some relatives as soon as the girl reached 17 years old. After pre-university, the girl went to study in another country.
Now I see almost daily my land lady's interactions with her only daughter. Here too, the mum finds faults with the daughter. The daughter chooses to see the mother in not flattering lights. It went back to the grandmother loving only the sons. Sad to say the sons were spoiled and both came home to depend on the old mom while the sons were in their 50s. Mom planted and sold vegetables at age 80 to support the sons. My land lady supplies rice, her one sister pays for electricity and water bills, the other sister would give the mother $30 every month. Thanks to the state welfare system, the old lady gets $150 for her household monthly.
(1188) White mice
When I was in college I spent many all night studying sessions in the science building. The computer labs were on the first floor. There were psychology labs in the basement. A few times graduate students would take me down to see their lab white mice. On the surface, each mouse looked alike. But when you really observe carefully, each is unique.
One could have a long tail, significantly longer than all the others. Another has a bigger head. The third has a pointed nose. A fourth one has longer fur, enough that we all could see it. Of course each one was tattooed behind its ear a special number. Since they only run in mace, no medication was given to any of them; I asked what happened to them when the series of experiments end. Do they get sold? Are they allowed to breed? A high school mate of mine went to Vietnam and ate rat meat sold on the roadside.
My pals were appalled! The very idea! Eating my mice. How dare you? I was surprised that they become attached to their experiment animals. Unless further experiments were planned as continuation, they were put to sleep using chloroform. That was the last time anyone brought me to see their darling mice.
One could have a long tail, significantly longer than all the others. Another has a bigger head. The third has a pointed nose. A fourth one has longer fur, enough that we all could see it. Of course each one was tattooed behind its ear a special number. Since they only run in mace, no medication was given to any of them; I asked what happened to them when the series of experiments end. Do they get sold? Are they allowed to breed? A high school mate of mine went to Vietnam and ate rat meat sold on the roadside.
My pals were appalled! The very idea! Eating my mice. How dare you? I was surprised that they become attached to their experiment animals. Unless further experiments were planned as continuation, they were put to sleep using chloroform. That was the last time anyone brought me to see their darling mice.
(1187) Forbidden actions
Quite a few years ago, I was sitting next to Lake Zurich in Switzerland with my youngest child and a few friends. We were admiring the peaceful and beautiful scenery that country is famous for. As a few wild ducks flew in the park and swam near us, I said these were good specimens for making into Peking ducks, in Cantonese while licking my lips.
My hostess shushed me. She told us not to think about it. Even saying about it would get me in prison and deported. Apparently the Swiss are very fond of their wild birds. Every autumn they would capture each swan and duck and transport them like VIP to some warm haven down south in another country. Then in spring on the right day, the birds would be transported back to the lake.
I suppose saying something with malicious intent to wild birds is akin like not standing up during the national anthem was played in Thailand. Visitors beware!
My hostess shushed me. She told us not to think about it. Even saying about it would get me in prison and deported. Apparently the Swiss are very fond of their wild birds. Every autumn they would capture each swan and duck and transport them like VIP to some warm haven down south in another country. Then in spring on the right day, the birds would be transported back to the lake.
I suppose saying something with malicious intent to wild birds is akin like not standing up during the national anthem was played in Thailand. Visitors beware!
(1186) Holy Ghost
The year was 1984. It was a few weeks before I accepted Jesus as my saviour and lord. I was boarding in my boss Davis' house that summer. Mrs Davis dropped me at the Duke's for fellowship night on Friday.
Charlie Duke was an astronaut on Apollo 16. He was leading a life group in New Braunfels, Texas. I remember I was the only member under the age of 45. That year I just graduated from college.
As I was a omnivorous reader, I went through just about every book in Davis' bookshelves. The last one was rather strange: it talks about the holy ghost in olden English. I didn't really understand much about it and I stopped at page 3 the night before the meeting. At the meeting, an old man asked the leader's permission and he gave a prophesy," Someone in this group is reading a book that is about the holy ghost, it is wrong in doctrine and should be burnt!"
I was struck and confessed immediately, producing the slim volume from my back pack. I said sorry to God and handed the book to my leader, telling him that it belonged to Mr Davis. Later in the meeting, another old man shared that he prayed that his brother (who was an alcoholic) would go to church with him. He specifically asked that the holy ghost could continue to work in the unbelieving heart until he could not be at rest or at ease, that he will be compelled to enter a church and return to God.
Within the summer, such prayers were answered. Looking back, I saw the power of the holy spirit working in that little group. My pastor just gave a really clear sermon on the holy spirit last Sunday, hence it prompted memories to return.
Charlie Duke was an astronaut on Apollo 16. He was leading a life group in New Braunfels, Texas. I remember I was the only member under the age of 45. That year I just graduated from college.
As I was a omnivorous reader, I went through just about every book in Davis' bookshelves. The last one was rather strange: it talks about the holy ghost in olden English. I didn't really understand much about it and I stopped at page 3 the night before the meeting. At the meeting, an old man asked the leader's permission and he gave a prophesy," Someone in this group is reading a book that is about the holy ghost, it is wrong in doctrine and should be burnt!"
I was struck and confessed immediately, producing the slim volume from my back pack. I said sorry to God and handed the book to my leader, telling him that it belonged to Mr Davis. Later in the meeting, another old man shared that he prayed that his brother (who was an alcoholic) would go to church with him. He specifically asked that the holy ghost could continue to work in the unbelieving heart until he could not be at rest or at ease, that he will be compelled to enter a church and return to God.
Within the summer, such prayers were answered. Looking back, I saw the power of the holy spirit working in that little group. My pastor just gave a really clear sermon on the holy spirit last Sunday, hence it prompted memories to return.
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
(1185) Food glorious food
There is a saying: " A fisherman's children eat small fish, a cobbler's children wear broken shoes."
During my last stint in Borneo, one of the children taught by my son often came to 7pm tuition session with an empty stomach. After a while, I actually cooked a little extra just in case she needed food. She has grown older and attends a private all day school now. Just last month I met her in a leading supermarket. She is quite a beautiful young lady now, though still rather slender. Her mum used to operate two restaurants.
My good friend in Singapore used to pack extra sandwiches for a poor girl whose parents had to work at multiple jobs to be able to pay for her expensive education. They love her and made big sacrifices financially for her. But very often they had no time or energy to look into the daily small tasks like preparing school snacks. My friend understood and stood in the gap by providing food. She used to teach in a tuition centre specialising in coaching dyslexic children.
In the Klang valley, another friend's nephew has a friend who comes from a rich family. Mum and dad are busy business folks. The maid at home only cooks breakfasts and dinners. The "poor" teenage boy has no pocket money. He would have gone hungry each weekday with no lunches but for my friend's sister supplying identical lunches she served her son without charging the school mate. The kind boy who shared food gained literally a friend for life.
Food is one of the most basic human needs. Look around us, is there anyone whom we meet daily who lack basic food?
During my last stint in Borneo, one of the children taught by my son often came to 7pm tuition session with an empty stomach. After a while, I actually cooked a little extra just in case she needed food. She has grown older and attends a private all day school now. Just last month I met her in a leading supermarket. She is quite a beautiful young lady now, though still rather slender. Her mum used to operate two restaurants.
My good friend in Singapore used to pack extra sandwiches for a poor girl whose parents had to work at multiple jobs to be able to pay for her expensive education. They love her and made big sacrifices financially for her. But very often they had no time or energy to look into the daily small tasks like preparing school snacks. My friend understood and stood in the gap by providing food. She used to teach in a tuition centre specialising in coaching dyslexic children.
In the Klang valley, another friend's nephew has a friend who comes from a rich family. Mum and dad are busy business folks. The maid at home only cooks breakfasts and dinners. The "poor" teenage boy has no pocket money. He would have gone hungry each weekday with no lunches but for my friend's sister supplying identical lunches she served her son without charging the school mate. The kind boy who shared food gained literally a friend for life.
Food is one of the most basic human needs. Look around us, is there anyone whom we meet daily who lack basic food?
(1184) Men vs women
My grandma had a proverb: men at 30 years old are like fresh flowers, women at 30 years old are like used tea bags.
If my grandma survived till today, she would had been 110 years old. Times have changed, I no longer agree with the proverb. It is not really valid anymore.
But, to a certain extent, a man's chances at marrying are actually higher as he grows older. Inversely, a woman's chances of finding a suitable spouse seems to drop with advancing age. Personally, I hardly like to admit this fact. It seemed very unfair for women who spend 4-8 years studying in higher institutions of learning.
Among my friends, it does seem that those who found their partners earlier have gotten better deals. There are two who married late, one at 38 and the other at 40. The former is a business woman. The latter is a lawyer. The business woman's husband works stints in other countries overseeing huge infra structure projects. She chose not to relocate, partly because she could not give up her business. Partly because she would like her children not to have been educated in a few countries. As a result of her choice, the family unit is not close knitted. There is little time for happy family time and togetherness.
The lawyer's husband did not like our country's work ethics. He chose early retirement. My friend virtually moved to her mum's house after her only child was born. Interestingly they are still together living just a few miles apart.
Both men are highly qualified with multiple degrees. They are successful men if you measure them financially. Both spent many years of their youth working abroad. They are each more than 8 years older than their wives.
If my grandma survived till today, she would had been 110 years old. Times have changed, I no longer agree with the proverb. It is not really valid anymore.
But, to a certain extent, a man's chances at marrying are actually higher as he grows older. Inversely, a woman's chances of finding a suitable spouse seems to drop with advancing age. Personally, I hardly like to admit this fact. It seemed very unfair for women who spend 4-8 years studying in higher institutions of learning.
Among my friends, it does seem that those who found their partners earlier have gotten better deals. There are two who married late, one at 38 and the other at 40. The former is a business woman. The latter is a lawyer. The business woman's husband works stints in other countries overseeing huge infra structure projects. She chose not to relocate, partly because she could not give up her business. Partly because she would like her children not to have been educated in a few countries. As a result of her choice, the family unit is not close knitted. There is little time for happy family time and togetherness.
The lawyer's husband did not like our country's work ethics. He chose early retirement. My friend virtually moved to her mum's house after her only child was born. Interestingly they are still together living just a few miles apart.
Both men are highly qualified with multiple degrees. They are successful men if you measure them financially. Both spent many years of their youth working abroad. They are each more than 8 years older than their wives.
(1183) Mother's heart, mother's tree by Fang Sook Ching
This is a Chinese children's book I borrowed from the nearest Sabah Library. It was beautifully illustrated by another lady with the given name of Kwee Fang.
Among the little group of students my son taught on two weeknights, there is a guy whose mother left his dad. It is perfectly natural that that he was hurt and felt abandoned.
In the above book, a little girl's mom made her a cloth heart to represent the mom's unchanging love and care. The pink heart was hung on a tree branch outside the classroom window.
Soon there were eight other hearts made by other mothers of the children in the class. A boy, whose mother has passed away, started to "borrow" different hearts to take home each day by force. That action continually caused lots of tears and unhappiness. The class teacher did not know how to handle the difficult situation. It was wonderful that her grandmother found a solution to the problem. A phone call from the teacher led to the father of the boy in question making a paper heart for hanging on the tree branch.
In the end, even the teacher's grandma made a heart for the teacher to hang on the tree branch. After all, the teacher has no living mum or dad. Her grandma brought her up.
Using this book, I talked about how we are living in an imperfect world. Of course, the boy in the story lacked a mother compared to his classmates. But look at the teacher, she probably did not even have any memory of her parents, her grandma is all she has.
Yet, while I was resident in Silver City, there was a gun shot incident where a mother was shot in a petrol station. Her 5 year-old daughter who witnessed the killing was so traumatised by the experience that she could not utter a word for 5 long years.
That fateful day, I actually drove past the incident site shortly after the shooting and saw quite a few emergency vehicles. The bullet-ridden Land Cruiser was photographed and came up in the next day's newspaper. A paediatrician who worked in the General Hospital told me that the girl concerned had been meeting with a Government child Psychologist monthly for those years.
Among the little group of students my son taught on two weeknights, there is a guy whose mother left his dad. It is perfectly natural that that he was hurt and felt abandoned.
In the above book, a little girl's mom made her a cloth heart to represent the mom's unchanging love and care. The pink heart was hung on a tree branch outside the classroom window.
Soon there were eight other hearts made by other mothers of the children in the class. A boy, whose mother has passed away, started to "borrow" different hearts to take home each day by force. That action continually caused lots of tears and unhappiness. The class teacher did not know how to handle the difficult situation. It was wonderful that her grandmother found a solution to the problem. A phone call from the teacher led to the father of the boy in question making a paper heart for hanging on the tree branch.
In the end, even the teacher's grandma made a heart for the teacher to hang on the tree branch. After all, the teacher has no living mum or dad. Her grandma brought her up.
Using this book, I talked about how we are living in an imperfect world. Of course, the boy in the story lacked a mother compared to his classmates. But look at the teacher, she probably did not even have any memory of her parents, her grandma is all she has.
Yet, while I was resident in Silver City, there was a gun shot incident where a mother was shot in a petrol station. Her 5 year-old daughter who witnessed the killing was so traumatised by the experience that she could not utter a word for 5 long years.
That fateful day, I actually drove past the incident site shortly after the shooting and saw quite a few emergency vehicles. The bullet-ridden Land Cruiser was photographed and came up in the next day's newspaper. A paediatrician who worked in the General Hospital told me that the girl concerned had been meeting with a Government child Psychologist monthly for those years.
(1182) Good wife
I was reading a book on regional and traditional cakes of the UK. A conversation from years ago surfaced in my consciousness.
There was a famous book I read when I was 21 years old. It was loaned to me by a good friend in my college. At that point of time I could not understand much of the book content.
Years later a close friend showed me the movie version in her home theatre. Amazingly, the pictorial rendition was crystal clear to me and I enjoyed the show tremendously. Of course, by then I was married and was in my thirties.
The latter friend pointed out one scene: an American born Chinese wife baked a delectable pecan pie, cut one slice for her beloved husband. The rest of the yummy pie ended up in the garbage can. This couple in the movie was childless by choice.
I told her that in all my college life of interacting with American whites and Asian residents, I have never met anyone who would throw away fresh food or bake goods. It was merely the author's ploy of painting an exaggerated version of the event to provoke an emotional response from the readers.
Further along the story, this "spoiled" husband actually left his wife who had bent double back to please him habitually . My friend's sister who is an Australian citizen was adamant that the lady character richly deserved the abandonment by a "good-for-nothing" husband.
Well! I thought that was rather an extreme view. In my opinion, that lady did not "read" her husband accurately enough, some men could not abide by being treated as VIP all the time. Therefore it was useless to be so good to him. My friend had a third view and we agreed to disagree over that case amicably. What do you think?
There was a famous book I read when I was 21 years old. It was loaned to me by a good friend in my college. At that point of time I could not understand much of the book content.
Years later a close friend showed me the movie version in her home theatre. Amazingly, the pictorial rendition was crystal clear to me and I enjoyed the show tremendously. Of course, by then I was married and was in my thirties.
The latter friend pointed out one scene: an American born Chinese wife baked a delectable pecan pie, cut one slice for her beloved husband. The rest of the yummy pie ended up in the garbage can. This couple in the movie was childless by choice.
I told her that in all my college life of interacting with American whites and Asian residents, I have never met anyone who would throw away fresh food or bake goods. It was merely the author's ploy of painting an exaggerated version of the event to provoke an emotional response from the readers.
Further along the story, this "spoiled" husband actually left his wife who had bent double back to please him habitually . My friend's sister who is an Australian citizen was adamant that the lady character richly deserved the abandonment by a "good-for-nothing" husband.
Well! I thought that was rather an extreme view. In my opinion, that lady did not "read" her husband accurately enough, some men could not abide by being treated as VIP all the time. Therefore it was useless to be so good to him. My friend had a third view and we agreed to disagree over that case amicably. What do you think?
(1181) Flash floods
Due to climate change, one of the main roads near my home in Selangor could become flooded within a short time of heavy rain. Off hand I remember four times of the area becoming flooded the past two years.
Kenneth was walking to the nearest LRT station one day when he went back to the peninsular. It was raining cats and dogs. Even with a golf umbrella, his long pants were getting soaked by the horizontal blast of raindrops due to strong wind.
While he was tip-toeing on the pavement in between rain puddles, a small grey mouse (that was a baby size) was scrabbling away from the main road in the opposite direction. It was literally running for its life. Ten minutes later, the flood water was up to the lowest part of the windows of a Kancil car (970cc). It was then 3:30pm.
It is a good thing that such flash flood does not usually last more than half an hour. But meanwhile, the cars parked within the flood zone would be swept along by the strong current of the flood water.
Animals are usually smart enough to flee from natural disasters like flood, forest fire, earthquakes and volcano eruptions. By instinct, they would run either long before an imminent earthquake (a few days ahead) or just in the nick of time before a flood.
Kenneth was walking to the nearest LRT station one day when he went back to the peninsular. It was raining cats and dogs. Even with a golf umbrella, his long pants were getting soaked by the horizontal blast of raindrops due to strong wind.
While he was tip-toeing on the pavement in between rain puddles, a small grey mouse (that was a baby size) was scrabbling away from the main road in the opposite direction. It was literally running for its life. Ten minutes later, the flood water was up to the lowest part of the windows of a Kancil car (970cc). It was then 3:30pm.
It is a good thing that such flash flood does not usually last more than half an hour. But meanwhile, the cars parked within the flood zone would be swept along by the strong current of the flood water.
Animals are usually smart enough to flee from natural disasters like flood, forest fire, earthquakes and volcano eruptions. By instinct, they would run either long before an imminent earthquake (a few days ahead) or just in the nick of time before a flood.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
(1180) Bridal Photography
One sure sign of hitting middle age was when things the youngsters do strike one as being overly luxurious or in a spendthrift manner.
After getting married, having the desired number of children and moving lock, stock and barrel to a small town, I proceeded to hide my head in the sand to devote all my energy to bring up my "treasures". It was much later that we relocated back to the capital city to be with my eldest when he attended Pre-university that I began to meet folks who are much younger than my age group.
When a young single girl in my life group shared that her wedding photography was going to cost $13,000, I was speechless. When she explained that she and her husband, with a photographer and a make-up artist cum hairdresser would spend three day-two nights in Langkawi Island, those present began to see why it costs so much. That was within the first decade of the 21st century.
To think that my first job in 1984 netted me $840 monthly as an IT lecturer in a shop lot college during the recession of the mid-80s. A year or two later I found a permanent job teaching communication in a proper private college, it paid $1,240. Much later I resigned from my full time job to go part-time teaching English. The month I received the highest pay was when I was teaching 21 hours weekly. It was holiday crash courses for third year students who needed to pass their language requirements. I remembered wanting to photocopy the $2,645 cheque, my husband laughed as that was a pittance to him, he is not a teacher.
Sometime in 2014, my nephew tied the knot. He paid $18,000 for his bridal photography. Of course those photos were like works of art. His pictures were taken in a national park.
After getting married, having the desired number of children and moving lock, stock and barrel to a small town, I proceeded to hide my head in the sand to devote all my energy to bring up my "treasures". It was much later that we relocated back to the capital city to be with my eldest when he attended Pre-university that I began to meet folks who are much younger than my age group.
When a young single girl in my life group shared that her wedding photography was going to cost $13,000, I was speechless. When she explained that she and her husband, with a photographer and a make-up artist cum hairdresser would spend three day-two nights in Langkawi Island, those present began to see why it costs so much. That was within the first decade of the 21st century.
To think that my first job in 1984 netted me $840 monthly as an IT lecturer in a shop lot college during the recession of the mid-80s. A year or two later I found a permanent job teaching communication in a proper private college, it paid $1,240. Much later I resigned from my full time job to go part-time teaching English. The month I received the highest pay was when I was teaching 21 hours weekly. It was holiday crash courses for third year students who needed to pass their language requirements. I remembered wanting to photocopy the $2,645 cheque, my husband laughed as that was a pittance to him, he is not a teacher.
Sometime in 2014, my nephew tied the knot. He paid $18,000 for his bridal photography. Of course those photos were like works of art. His pictures were taken in a national park.
(1179) Manipulating adults from toddlerhood.
From my personal observation, a person with a co-dominant hemispheres brain is usually highly talented. A scientist who also aces in English literature would be such a person. We'll call him Long.
It was his father's 70th birthday dinner. He flew back from Hong Kong to attend the family function. When it came to the time to drive to the restaurant, it was to be a convoy of five cars. As he walked to the main door, his recalcitrant niece was lying across the empty space right before the door, kicking and screaming. There was no tears in her calculating and watchful eyes.
He lifted his right foot, gently turned the one-year-old over. From lying face down, she was re-oriented to lying face up within less than a second. She was shocked into silence for a moment. Then the pouting mouth turned into an "o" shape and the scream continued. The care-giver, who is a cousin, picked up the toddler and shushed her with a litany of reprimand.
Everyone overlooked the incident. Well, what do you expect of a forty-year-old bachelor? Also, most adults could not tolerate the show-off, controlling attitude of a bullying toddler. It was a calculating act to dominate a family gathering. Don't tell me that all babies are innocent. There is often one in ten who is almost born domineering and good at manipulating most adults.
*..........
It was his father's 70th birthday dinner. He flew back from Hong Kong to attend the family function. When it came to the time to drive to the restaurant, it was to be a convoy of five cars. As he walked to the main door, his recalcitrant niece was lying across the empty space right before the door, kicking and screaming. There was no tears in her calculating and watchful eyes.
He lifted his right foot, gently turned the one-year-old over. From lying face down, she was re-oriented to lying face up within less than a second. She was shocked into silence for a moment. Then the pouting mouth turned into an "o" shape and the scream continued. The care-giver, who is a cousin, picked up the toddler and shushed her with a litany of reprimand.
Everyone overlooked the incident. Well, what do you expect of a forty-year-old bachelor? Also, most adults could not tolerate the show-off, controlling attitude of a bullying toddler. It was a calculating act to dominate a family gathering. Don't tell me that all babies are innocent. There is often one in ten who is almost born domineering and good at manipulating most adults.
*..........
(1178) Exploitation by landlords
While on the topic of my work stint in the state college, (this was written right after one of the intern blogs but not typed and published until much later) I should tell you about the housing estate around it. It just so happened that there was a mosque next to the area. Having been born and brought up in a Moslem country, I should be well versed in related laws. Yet I was surprised that there was a rule that within x metres from a mosque, no one could sell pork or pork products. The result is no Chinese eatery could exist there. I would say that half the shops in that area are empty. It is a half dead place.
We will call this area Pumpkin Spice Garden. When I first worked there, I brought extra breakfast as lunch. Then I went to the only pork free Chinese restaurant. There I quickly got tired of eating the mix rice cooked by a native cook. Soon I was hunting for a new place to eat on foot or by car.
There was one alley that I walked past that was foul smelling. I mentioned about that in the college office and my colleague, Jackson, laughed. Apparently there were land lords who partitioned both upstairs and down stairs into cubicles for foreign workers. It was not only fire traps, it was slum housing. Since the rental was at rock bottom, stopped-up toilets were not repaired. Urine flowed into the drains behind and around the shops that were meant for bath and rain water. The poor workers had to resort to using the toilets at work.
When I was a child, I have never heard nor seen a worker from any foreign country. It was in the roaring eighties that every rich Mary, Jane and Margaret hired Indonesian maids. Little do I know how badly foreign workers were being exploited in many places.
We will call this area Pumpkin Spice Garden. When I first worked there, I brought extra breakfast as lunch. Then I went to the only pork free Chinese restaurant. There I quickly got tired of eating the mix rice cooked by a native cook. Soon I was hunting for a new place to eat on foot or by car.
There was one alley that I walked past that was foul smelling. I mentioned about that in the college office and my colleague, Jackson, laughed. Apparently there were land lords who partitioned both upstairs and down stairs into cubicles for foreign workers. It was not only fire traps, it was slum housing. Since the rental was at rock bottom, stopped-up toilets were not repaired. Urine flowed into the drains behind and around the shops that were meant for bath and rain water. The poor workers had to resort to using the toilets at work.
When I was a child, I have never heard nor seen a worker from any foreign country. It was in the roaring eighties that every rich Mary, Jane and Margaret hired Indonesian maids. Little do I know how badly foreign workers were being exploited in many places.
(1177)Something new by Lucy Knisley
This is the very first cartoon novel I have read from front to back. My son was surprised as I have never been a visual cartoon enthusiast. Well, I still am not. The fact that I read it at all is a statement of high compliment to Lucy Knisley.
I was caught looking at a few frames now and then while waiting for students to arrive. Also books are returned every two weeks. The last batch was borrowed by my son while I went to medical camp. I have just run out of books to read a few days before the next run to the state library.
Something old
Something new
Some thing borrowed
Something blue
For my own wedding 30 over years ago, I wore an old bridal gown borrowed from a friend's friend. My best friend made me a new veil. I borrowed costume necklace and ear rings. My college buddy from US sent me a blue garter. From this book I read of the Swede custom of having gold and silver coins in the bride's shoes.
I still remember the beautiful ribbon roses, fixed on the church pews, made by a lady who teaches secondary school. She also decorated our borrowed gold coloured Mercedes for the wedding. All of these were done at cost and with love. My husband is a nice guy that is highly popular everywhere he goes.
I was caught looking at a few frames now and then while waiting for students to arrive. Also books are returned every two weeks. The last batch was borrowed by my son while I went to medical camp. I have just run out of books to read a few days before the next run to the state library.
Something old
Something new
Some thing borrowed
Something blue
For my own wedding 30 over years ago, I wore an old bridal gown borrowed from a friend's friend. My best friend made me a new veil. I borrowed costume necklace and ear rings. My college buddy from US sent me a blue garter. From this book I read of the Swede custom of having gold and silver coins in the bride's shoes.
I still remember the beautiful ribbon roses, fixed on the church pews, made by a lady who teaches secondary school. She also decorated our borrowed gold coloured Mercedes for the wedding. All of these were done at cost and with love. My husband is a nice guy that is highly popular everywhere he goes.
(1176) A Catching Game
A collection of 26 four wheel drive vehicles from four cities brought doctors, nurses, dentist, volunteers and basic food stuff to an area in need of medical care.
Here is a game that I observed in a hostel in Tambunan.
I was allotted a mattress in room 5. Right in front of the room is a paved area for hanging laundry out to dry. I was tired from trekking uphill from the river to the hill top school cum hostel, therefore I sat on the steps enjoying the mountain view. A few young girls walked about, collecting dry clothes as well as bed linen meant for us, the one-night guests to use. They peeped at me, smiled shyly. As I sat there in idleness, they began to play a game after folding the dry laundry in different rooms.
There were four girls, all of them looked like seven-year-olds to me. They are not only short, but small in stature as well. Of course I know I can't compare them to children in the affluent cities. They are probably children of small scale subsistence farmers, mostly from big families. This town is about five thousand feet high on a plateau. Most families plant wet rice paddy. Interestingly there is no scarecrows, no anything to chase away birds. It is indeed a most blessed place. It is an area surrounded by hills and mountains. The second highest mountain in Sabah was within hiking distance from where I was sitting.
The game they played was like "What is the time, Mr Wolf?" One girl started by leaning against the pole (one of the many that were there to attach lines for hanging wet clothes), she closed her eyes and count "One, Two ....Three". At three, she ran to catch the nearest playmate. While she was standing at the pole, the others squatted down near her. Each of the three wrapped their T-shirts around their knees. As the one at the pole closed her eyes, each "duck" waddled away swiftly. As long as the girl at the pole was counting, no one could stand up. At three, all hell break lose, everyone shrieked and shouted. The one that was caught groaned and became "it". All the others laughed.
Each girl that became "it" counted differently, some used Malay numbers, some used their own dialect. One gave some seconds between one and two, some don't. By the time the fourth girl became "it", she counted differently. She said, "One, two ... one hundred." Everyone laughed. Then she counted, "One, ... Two ... five hundred .." All the others, including the observers, complained. There was suspense, no chance to run. The "ducks" were very tired of waddling. At the fourth time of unconventional round, the p a system beeped and all the children were called to line up for dental checks. The game ended promptly.
Much later, a local volunteer talked to one of the girls I saw playing the waddling-running-catching game. Apparently she was in standard three.
Here is a game that I observed in a hostel in Tambunan.
I was allotted a mattress in room 5. Right in front of the room is a paved area for hanging laundry out to dry. I was tired from trekking uphill from the river to the hill top school cum hostel, therefore I sat on the steps enjoying the mountain view. A few young girls walked about, collecting dry clothes as well as bed linen meant for us, the one-night guests to use. They peeped at me, smiled shyly. As I sat there in idleness, they began to play a game after folding the dry laundry in different rooms.
There were four girls, all of them looked like seven-year-olds to me. They are not only short, but small in stature as well. Of course I know I can't compare them to children in the affluent cities. They are probably children of small scale subsistence farmers, mostly from big families. This town is about five thousand feet high on a plateau. Most families plant wet rice paddy. Interestingly there is no scarecrows, no anything to chase away birds. It is indeed a most blessed place. It is an area surrounded by hills and mountains. The second highest mountain in Sabah was within hiking distance from where I was sitting.
The game they played was like "What is the time, Mr Wolf?" One girl started by leaning against the pole (one of the many that were there to attach lines for hanging wet clothes), she closed her eyes and count "One, Two ....Three". At three, she ran to catch the nearest playmate. While she was standing at the pole, the others squatted down near her. Each of the three wrapped their T-shirts around their knees. As the one at the pole closed her eyes, each "duck" waddled away swiftly. As long as the girl at the pole was counting, no one could stand up. At three, all hell break lose, everyone shrieked and shouted. The one that was caught groaned and became "it". All the others laughed.
Each girl that became "it" counted differently, some used Malay numbers, some used their own dialect. One gave some seconds between one and two, some don't. By the time the fourth girl became "it", she counted differently. She said, "One, two ... one hundred." Everyone laughed. Then she counted, "One, ... Two ... five hundred .." All the others, including the observers, complained. There was suspense, no chance to run. The "ducks" were very tired of waddling. At the fourth time of unconventional round, the p a system beeped and all the children were called to line up for dental checks. The game ended promptly.
Much later, a local volunteer talked to one of the girls I saw playing the waddling-running-catching game. Apparently she was in standard three.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
(1175) The grass is greener on the other side of the fence
As I sat in the vehicle listening to my host driver and his wife, I note that she has a sister residing in Ireland. The later just left after a long visit. Another sister from Canada has arrived. The host has a brother in Australia. Interestingly the brother has studied in FIT (Federal Institute of Technology), now part of UCSI, a private university in Kuala Lumpur, I have cousins who studied in a diploma program there long ago.
This brother, after he obtained a degree in engineering in another institution, migrated to Australia. As far as my host knows, he has not gotten a single professional job in his field throughout his stay in Australia. He and his family are still in that country down under.
In order to survive in that country, he took on a series of part-time jobs, including the job of a traffic controller in a public school. His mother went to visit him, that was what she said when she came back. According to the old lady, her son and daughter-in-law went through some rather lean times when they were new in that country. At one point of time, three of them were surviving on the child subsidy given by the government. I was rather shocked to hear that. Why did he not come back to Sabah, the land of plenty? Well, it was very difficult to have a crack of getting a residency permit anyway, how could he give up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
I find it amazing that while main land Chinese migrate here under Malaysian my second home, Malaysians were dying to leave and would suffer long and hard to stay in a first world country. Now that Hong Kong is feeling the heat of Chinese bullets, I wonder how many Hong Kongers would migrate to Singapore and Malaysia soon?
This brother, after he obtained a degree in engineering in another institution, migrated to Australia. As far as my host knows, he has not gotten a single professional job in his field throughout his stay in Australia. He and his family are still in that country down under.
In order to survive in that country, he took on a series of part-time jobs, including the job of a traffic controller in a public school. His mother went to visit him, that was what she said when she came back. According to the old lady, her son and daughter-in-law went through some rather lean times when they were new in that country. At one point of time, three of them were surviving on the child subsidy given by the government. I was rather shocked to hear that. Why did he not come back to Sabah, the land of plenty? Well, it was very difficult to have a crack of getting a residency permit anyway, how could he give up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
I find it amazing that while main land Chinese migrate here under Malaysian my second home, Malaysians were dying to leave and would suffer long and hard to stay in a first world country. Now that Hong Kong is feeling the heat of Chinese bullets, I wonder how many Hong Kongers would migrate to Singapore and Malaysia soon?
(1174) Visiting the orphans
Recently I went to another medical camp. We started driving at six in the morning. Since we did not have to travel in a convoy, we had time to eat breakfast.
One hour took us to Ranau, 1 800 feet above sea level. Another three hours we reached Tambunan, 5 000 feet above the sea. According to those who travel yearly there, the roads were much better than the previous year. It was muddy and bumpy last year. This year most of that road was widened and a lot of gravel were added. It was not only less bumpy, it was less dusty too.
That part of Sabah is mostly mountainous. This is the first time I heard that Sabah is the Switzerland of the East. It is beautiful!
This particular camp brought doctors, nurses, dentists and eye doctors. Broken into three groups, they served one remote village, an orphanage (for children of single parents) and a hostel. There were a few lady hairdressers who cut hair for the children, for them it was a day trip. I hitched a ride with the chuck wagon, therefore I went to the cooking shed near the river. After a hurriedly cooked lunch, I went to the hostel to put down my bag. Some volunteers cooked white rice and fried 5 kilos of small fish with salt the afternoon before. We reached the hostel by 11:30 am. A group of us set up shop and shelled onions, garlic and shallots. The chief cook fried a vegetable that is made up of a local leek, ginger pink flower (bunga gantang), onion and garlic and anchovy. It is a most delicious dish. Apparently a doctor first had it in a previous medical camp, kept asking for it and he even bought the ingredients on the way and took the trouble to cook it himself. In order to maximise his productivity, the organisers made a point of providing it for every future camp. We had onion fried eggs and two type of sambal. The cook used chili padi, sugar, salt, lime juice and belachan to make a watery sambal. Some individual bought a small jar of dried shrimp sambal that cost $15, to me it is expensive.
The night before our trip, it was 19 degrees in Tambunan. The night we were there, I had on one t-shirt, long pants and long sleeve plaid shirt and I slept in a sleeping bag all zip up towards the morning. Seven girls moved in with their school mates to accommodate us. We ended up ten people sleeping in the room with eight mattresses. The next morning, the mountains were spectacular with thin veils of sheer white misty clouds, like the long white veils that Chilean mountains are famous for.
All in, thirteen pairs of spectacles were needed for the orphans and the pupils in the hostel. The Lion Club will under write it all. These children, age 7 to 12, live too far to walk to school daily. They board five days a week, and return home during week ends and holidays. It was heartening to see 7 year olds washing their own clothes. This will produce a very independent group of young people.
It is a tradition that medical camp collected money form well wishers to buy a Kentucky Fried Chicken meals for each student in the hostel. Folks donate money to send 100 frozen chickens to the orphanage. Alternate year, either fish or pork were sent too, depending on the prices of sea catch. Since the past year, a very rich unnamed man donated $10 000 earmarked for buying medicine each medical camp. Apparently after donating the money, he hired a helicopter to fly him to that inaccessible place and check on the work. He was very pleased with what he saw, the cheques kept coming.
This is the last official camp for this year, as the monsoon rains will hit in November. By then it would be too dangerous to travel to the interior where there are no paved roads. However, I heard that there is one last one in December. Around Christmas, four all-terrain vehicles would fetch a cooking team, one doctor and two nurses, they would bring food, used clothes, toys, and new clothes to this really poor group living on the main road a reasonable distance from where I live. These are indigenous folks who are citizens. There is no school nearby, therefore generation after generation are being left behind in the economic pie. I saw a few photographs, those wooden houses have no walls. Dogs and people live in one room hovels. Before the medical camp people heard of them, all children under six have absolutely no clothes to wear. We cannot expect them to wear even slippers.
It took the Health Department officials to take a bunch of well wishers to this remote site. It is actually near enough for a day trip. Yet in more than 20 over years of medical camp history, they only learnt of this needy group a year or two ago. God willing, I hope to follow either the founder and his wife or the chuck wagon. In any case, my thick skin self would appeal to all and sundry for used clothes, clean toys or any household items those around me would donate over the next two months.
One hour took us to Ranau, 1 800 feet above sea level. Another three hours we reached Tambunan, 5 000 feet above the sea. According to those who travel yearly there, the roads were much better than the previous year. It was muddy and bumpy last year. This year most of that road was widened and a lot of gravel were added. It was not only less bumpy, it was less dusty too.
That part of Sabah is mostly mountainous. This is the first time I heard that Sabah is the Switzerland of the East. It is beautiful!
This particular camp brought doctors, nurses, dentists and eye doctors. Broken into three groups, they served one remote village, an orphanage (for children of single parents) and a hostel. There were a few lady hairdressers who cut hair for the children, for them it was a day trip. I hitched a ride with the chuck wagon, therefore I went to the cooking shed near the river. After a hurriedly cooked lunch, I went to the hostel to put down my bag. Some volunteers cooked white rice and fried 5 kilos of small fish with salt the afternoon before. We reached the hostel by 11:30 am. A group of us set up shop and shelled onions, garlic and shallots. The chief cook fried a vegetable that is made up of a local leek, ginger pink flower (bunga gantang), onion and garlic and anchovy. It is a most delicious dish. Apparently a doctor first had it in a previous medical camp, kept asking for it and he even bought the ingredients on the way and took the trouble to cook it himself. In order to maximise his productivity, the organisers made a point of providing it for every future camp. We had onion fried eggs and two type of sambal. The cook used chili padi, sugar, salt, lime juice and belachan to make a watery sambal. Some individual bought a small jar of dried shrimp sambal that cost $15, to me it is expensive.
The night before our trip, it was 19 degrees in Tambunan. The night we were there, I had on one t-shirt, long pants and long sleeve plaid shirt and I slept in a sleeping bag all zip up towards the morning. Seven girls moved in with their school mates to accommodate us. We ended up ten people sleeping in the room with eight mattresses. The next morning, the mountains were spectacular with thin veils of sheer white misty clouds, like the long white veils that Chilean mountains are famous for.
All in, thirteen pairs of spectacles were needed for the orphans and the pupils in the hostel. The Lion Club will under write it all. These children, age 7 to 12, live too far to walk to school daily. They board five days a week, and return home during week ends and holidays. It was heartening to see 7 year olds washing their own clothes. This will produce a very independent group of young people.
It is a tradition that medical camp collected money form well wishers to buy a Kentucky Fried Chicken meals for each student in the hostel. Folks donate money to send 100 frozen chickens to the orphanage. Alternate year, either fish or pork were sent too, depending on the prices of sea catch. Since the past year, a very rich unnamed man donated $10 000 earmarked for buying medicine each medical camp. Apparently after donating the money, he hired a helicopter to fly him to that inaccessible place and check on the work. He was very pleased with what he saw, the cheques kept coming.
This is the last official camp for this year, as the monsoon rains will hit in November. By then it would be too dangerous to travel to the interior where there are no paved roads. However, I heard that there is one last one in December. Around Christmas, four all-terrain vehicles would fetch a cooking team, one doctor and two nurses, they would bring food, used clothes, toys, and new clothes to this really poor group living on the main road a reasonable distance from where I live. These are indigenous folks who are citizens. There is no school nearby, therefore generation after generation are being left behind in the economic pie. I saw a few photographs, those wooden houses have no walls. Dogs and people live in one room hovels. Before the medical camp people heard of them, all children under six have absolutely no clothes to wear. We cannot expect them to wear even slippers.
It took the Health Department officials to take a bunch of well wishers to this remote site. It is actually near enough for a day trip. Yet in more than 20 over years of medical camp history, they only learnt of this needy group a year or two ago. God willing, I hope to follow either the founder and his wife or the chuck wagon. In any case, my thick skin self would appeal to all and sundry for used clothes, clean toys or any household items those around me would donate over the next two months.
(1173) Cost of Migration
Lately I seemed to be thinking and writing quite a few migration stories. I did mention a little about the following family in blog number 1156.
As I moved around my husband's university alumnus friends through the years, I have grown to like quite a few of them. We will call this particular one Tom. He is one of the most unassuming guys, gentle, kind, and there is no guile in him. It is very easy to like him.
As his life history goes, his wife forcibly moved him to Australia. In the new country, Tom has two daughters. The elder daughter is a most accomplished individual. In her high school, she easily won the Gold medal of the International English Exam for the entire commonwealth countries one particular year. During her free time, she picked up sufficient Korean from watching sitcoms that she could pass herself off as a Korean language graduate. Her first degree is in Japanese language. At some point of her twenties, she worked in Tokyo as a translator for two years.
I was very surprised when I heard that she went to study Library Science as a graduate degree. To my simplistic thinking, that line would be obsolete in a short time. But informed people told me that this field would merely narrow down. It would still be there, decentralised and in the digital world. A future librarian would have to be totally tech savvy, as he or she would navigate in the digital nether world. She would probably be dealing with other mediums of storage, not paper.
It was very interesting that my husband's friend is very contented with his life in his adopted country while each one of his children seems unhappy that their mum uses the children's allotted money from the government for house keeping. Here both parents are frugal and try very hard to make full use of whatever resources they have. They take each part-time job they could as jobs come along. Yet there is a sense of the children against the parents.
The elder daughter moved out as soon as she turned eighteen, I think. The younger daughter saw the disadvantages that her sister chose and elected to stay on with the family even when she was of age. I know little of how parents communicate with children overseas, a week or two of vacation does not allow one to really see life as it is in a new country. When I was with Tom's family, we had pasta for lunch. The elder daughter came back, the mother offered to cook extra pasta, fry two eggs and warm up mushroom soup; the visitor shook her head and went to her room to take a few items and proceeded to leave. Apparently she was displeased to bump into me and my husband. When I related this experience with another Aussie graduate, she said that is one of the cost of migration. She and her husband counted the cost and they did not go even though they were offered the green card twice.
As I moved around my husband's university alumnus friends through the years, I have grown to like quite a few of them. We will call this particular one Tom. He is one of the most unassuming guys, gentle, kind, and there is no guile in him. It is very easy to like him.
As his life history goes, his wife forcibly moved him to Australia. In the new country, Tom has two daughters. The elder daughter is a most accomplished individual. In her high school, she easily won the Gold medal of the International English Exam for the entire commonwealth countries one particular year. During her free time, she picked up sufficient Korean from watching sitcoms that she could pass herself off as a Korean language graduate. Her first degree is in Japanese language. At some point of her twenties, she worked in Tokyo as a translator for two years.
I was very surprised when I heard that she went to study Library Science as a graduate degree. To my simplistic thinking, that line would be obsolete in a short time. But informed people told me that this field would merely narrow down. It would still be there, decentralised and in the digital world. A future librarian would have to be totally tech savvy, as he or she would navigate in the digital nether world. She would probably be dealing with other mediums of storage, not paper.
It was very interesting that my husband's friend is very contented with his life in his adopted country while each one of his children seems unhappy that their mum uses the children's allotted money from the government for house keeping. Here both parents are frugal and try very hard to make full use of whatever resources they have. They take each part-time job they could as jobs come along. Yet there is a sense of the children against the parents.
The elder daughter moved out as soon as she turned eighteen, I think. The younger daughter saw the disadvantages that her sister chose and elected to stay on with the family even when she was of age. I know little of how parents communicate with children overseas, a week or two of vacation does not allow one to really see life as it is in a new country. When I was with Tom's family, we had pasta for lunch. The elder daughter came back, the mother offered to cook extra pasta, fry two eggs and warm up mushroom soup; the visitor shook her head and went to her room to take a few items and proceeded to leave. Apparently she was displeased to bump into me and my husband. When I related this experience with another Aussie graduate, she said that is one of the cost of migration. She and her husband counted the cost and they did not go even though they were offered the green card twice.
(1172)The cutting of ties.
Chinese New Year gatherings are usually held in the Low family home. As in most middle-income families, the Lows have two children. Victor is the older and Mauve is the younger one. Victor grew up with his paternal granddad and grandma. Mauve was in her maternal grandparents' house until she was six.
They have three cousins: Joshua, Denise and Elise. Joshua and Elise grew up with their stay-at-home mom. Denise was the odd one out, she lived under the care of her father's parents. During most school holidays, Joshua and Elise would spend many weeks with Victor and Mauve. The latter's parents were most hospitable.
One Chinese New Year, the two older children: the two boys elected to play their preferred card games. It is usually the dominant who leads the pack, not just among children but true for dogs and chickens as well. In this case, Denise chose to take offence. She sulked and snuck upstairs to read books. The house downstairs were filled with loads of adults, walking in and out of the kitchen, busy talking and eating Chinese New Year delicacies. By the time some guests moved off and the adults noticed, the down-stairs group was uproariously enjoying their game of Bluff. The lonely one upstairs was hurt and upset. Anyway, it was time to take her back to her grandparents.
Since the three children's parents (j, d and e) actually live in a town two hours by car away from the Lows, it was not often that Denise had the chance to visit the Lows. It is interesting that was the very last time Denise appeared in the Low's house. Strong opinions dictated that after both grandparents passed on, she finally broke the pattern and appeared once again twenty years later. As a result of her choice to take offence and talked her elders into letting her off the visit for consecutive years, she wilfully cut off her ties to 50% of her relatives. It is amazing or rather horrifying that such a small incident ( the grandma called it smelly cat poo) - children's disagreement could lead to the end result.
*.......
They have three cousins: Joshua, Denise and Elise. Joshua and Elise grew up with their stay-at-home mom. Denise was the odd one out, she lived under the care of her father's parents. During most school holidays, Joshua and Elise would spend many weeks with Victor and Mauve. The latter's parents were most hospitable.
One Chinese New Year, the two older children: the two boys elected to play their preferred card games. It is usually the dominant who leads the pack, not just among children but true for dogs and chickens as well. In this case, Denise chose to take offence. She sulked and snuck upstairs to read books. The house downstairs were filled with loads of adults, walking in and out of the kitchen, busy talking and eating Chinese New Year delicacies. By the time some guests moved off and the adults noticed, the down-stairs group was uproariously enjoying their game of Bluff. The lonely one upstairs was hurt and upset. Anyway, it was time to take her back to her grandparents.
Since the three children's parents (j, d and e) actually live in a town two hours by car away from the Lows, it was not often that Denise had the chance to visit the Lows. It is interesting that was the very last time Denise appeared in the Low's house. Strong opinions dictated that after both grandparents passed on, she finally broke the pattern and appeared once again twenty years later. As a result of her choice to take offence and talked her elders into letting her off the visit for consecutive years, she wilfully cut off her ties to 50% of her relatives. It is amazing or rather horrifying that such a small incident ( the grandma called it smelly cat poo) - children's disagreement could lead to the end result.
*.......
(1171) Confucius proverb
There is a Chinese proverb: a woman with no material talent is virtuous. I was never quite a feminist but had problem with this saying for many years.
We will look at four cases:
1. My mum's best friend is a very blessed woman. She single-handedly brought up six children and all her children love and respect her. Probably fifteen years ago, her rich son bought a new house for her and husband and unmarried daughter, it was in a very exclusive and desirable area. The entire family wanted them to move but she vetoed the idea. They continued to stay in an old house next to a highway: noisy, dusty and the neighbourhood was deteriorating to become foreign workers' bunk houses. After the untimely death of her husband, she lived on a comfortable trust fund with her only daughter. No one knows if she had elected to move out of the unhealthy area, her husband might have lived a little longer.
2. My mother-in-law was a woman of means. When her husband passed on, the family suggested moving her to an apartment near her youngest child. She categorically objected and the idea became moot. Probably about fifteen years later, she cried and groaned about being confined in her prison of a house to all and sundry. But it was too late, no one dares to take on the thankless task of relocating her as she was infirm and was awaiting death.
3. My good friend (blog 1133) will probably face the same kind of problem in about ten years' time. This friend of mine was a famous business woman in her hey days. She inherited loads in her mature years and became very active in increasing her portfolio. She expected to live with her daughters-in-law and grand children all under the same roof. But in real life her first son and wife are in a house more than 5 miles from the 7-room detached building.
4. My mum has only three children. She has long been what Confucius termed a virtuous woman. When she was young, she obeyed her mum and dad. After she was married, she listened to my dad. Now that she is widowed, she listens to my brothers. Because she has no money-making talents, and she did not inherit great wealth, therefore she could not vote to go against the better judgement of her kin. In contrast she lives a good life, well loved and cared for by the next two generations. It is ironic that the great sage could say four little words that could still govern life under the sun a few thousand years later.
Money could confer the choice of making wrong decisions for the woman concerned. Unhappily, a woman of means could let her independence lead her into her bind in the end.
We will look at four cases:
1. My mum's best friend is a very blessed woman. She single-handedly brought up six children and all her children love and respect her. Probably fifteen years ago, her rich son bought a new house for her and husband and unmarried daughter, it was in a very exclusive and desirable area. The entire family wanted them to move but she vetoed the idea. They continued to stay in an old house next to a highway: noisy, dusty and the neighbourhood was deteriorating to become foreign workers' bunk houses. After the untimely death of her husband, she lived on a comfortable trust fund with her only daughter. No one knows if she had elected to move out of the unhealthy area, her husband might have lived a little longer.
2. My mother-in-law was a woman of means. When her husband passed on, the family suggested moving her to an apartment near her youngest child. She categorically objected and the idea became moot. Probably about fifteen years later, she cried and groaned about being confined in her prison of a house to all and sundry. But it was too late, no one dares to take on the thankless task of relocating her as she was infirm and was awaiting death.
3. My good friend (blog 1133) will probably face the same kind of problem in about ten years' time. This friend of mine was a famous business woman in her hey days. She inherited loads in her mature years and became very active in increasing her portfolio. She expected to live with her daughters-in-law and grand children all under the same roof. But in real life her first son and wife are in a house more than 5 miles from the 7-room detached building.
4. My mum has only three children. She has long been what Confucius termed a virtuous woman. When she was young, she obeyed her mum and dad. After she was married, she listened to my dad. Now that she is widowed, she listens to my brothers. Because she has no money-making talents, and she did not inherit great wealth, therefore she could not vote to go against the better judgement of her kin. In contrast she lives a good life, well loved and cared for by the next two generations. It is ironic that the great sage could say four little words that could still govern life under the sun a few thousand years later.
Money could confer the choice of making wrong decisions for the woman concerned. Unhappily, a woman of means could let her independence lead her into her bind in the end.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
(1170) Rebuke
As the second anniversary of my hospitalisation drew near, I prayed another searching prayer. The gist of it involved two dates, one in May and one in July. The proposed trip in May lasts about seven weeks and the one in July about nine weeks. Of course the amount attached to July would be much more than May because of the duration of the trip.
Much to my surprise, money did come in the form of money remitted from out of my country, about four hundred more than what I asked for. That itself is another side story.
The amount that arrived paid for outgoing ticket to Sabah, living expenses for nine weeks. In addition, using the money sent in, I bought return ticket to KL and outgoing to Borneo after nine weeks. One week before the return date, I was very discouraged. In my heart, I was thinking: very smart, how could you abandon a comfortable existence and come here to deal with terrible plumbing in Borneo?? I was very tempted to fly back to KL and burn the outgoing ticket. Then I would tell God please give me a house with a proper functioning toilet before I fly out.
My pastor was a relatively young chap who dares to preach God's truth without fearing the congregation. To be truthful, I seldom hear of preachers who preach like him in KL or Silver City. That Sunday his message hit my heart. He said that in every life there is a mission. We are not created to enjoy comfort, to have a good time on earth alone. We each are amazingly crafted to fulfil one or many specific purpose(s) to bless others and to glorify God in the process.
I felt really ashamed. Here I am, complaining about no kitchen facilities. Moaning about toilet water source that leaks and the outlet conduit that is stuck. How was I to survive if he did bring me to that place with no water and electrical supply?
Within a week, I changed my mind. I burned two tickets and stayed on with my own funds. Foolish, perhaps. But by now I saw the 16 year-old student reading some days on a standard 4 level in English stories, it is very gratifying. At least I am doing something constructive with my golden years. Since I am not an ambitious person, I'll help one child at a time, like the person who pick one star fish at a time to throw it back to the sea. One star fish thrown back to the water is one life saved. For those whose life I touch, one person is immeasurably loved by God, worthy of all my attention for a few years in the creator's eyes.
Much to my surprise, money did come in the form of money remitted from out of my country, about four hundred more than what I asked for. That itself is another side story.
The amount that arrived paid for outgoing ticket to Sabah, living expenses for nine weeks. In addition, using the money sent in, I bought return ticket to KL and outgoing to Borneo after nine weeks. One week before the return date, I was very discouraged. In my heart, I was thinking: very smart, how could you abandon a comfortable existence and come here to deal with terrible plumbing in Borneo?? I was very tempted to fly back to KL and burn the outgoing ticket. Then I would tell God please give me a house with a proper functioning toilet before I fly out.
My pastor was a relatively young chap who dares to preach God's truth without fearing the congregation. To be truthful, I seldom hear of preachers who preach like him in KL or Silver City. That Sunday his message hit my heart. He said that in every life there is a mission. We are not created to enjoy comfort, to have a good time on earth alone. We each are amazingly crafted to fulfil one or many specific purpose(s) to bless others and to glorify God in the process.
I felt really ashamed. Here I am, complaining about no kitchen facilities. Moaning about toilet water source that leaks and the outlet conduit that is stuck. How was I to survive if he did bring me to that place with no water and electrical supply?
Within a week, I changed my mind. I burned two tickets and stayed on with my own funds. Foolish, perhaps. But by now I saw the 16 year-old student reading some days on a standard 4 level in English stories, it is very gratifying. At least I am doing something constructive with my golden years. Since I am not an ambitious person, I'll help one child at a time, like the person who pick one star fish at a time to throw it back to the sea. One star fish thrown back to the water is one life saved. For those whose life I touch, one person is immeasurably loved by God, worthy of all my attention for a few years in the creator's eyes.
(1169) The valley of the shadow of death
After returning to my hometown, it was filled with a series of medical appointments. From GP to Specialist, from semi Government to Government hospitals. Two CAT scans and a scope test later, I found myself with a life threatening disease.
Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, Brachytherapy ... blood infusion, medical officers, specialists, nurses, nutritionists ... Indeed having such a disease is like fighting a war. The bright side of things is when I went for prayers in a big conference in Singapore, the lady who prayed for me said that I did nothing wrong, God was pleased with me. She said that God told her I trusted God fully. Just go through what the doctors ordered and God would heal me.
He did. On July 10 I had a three-monthly follow up and would move to a 6-monthly check up next. I took a look at my medical records, as I flew to Sabah, it was exactly 2 years to the day since I went into the hospital.
Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, Brachytherapy ... blood infusion, medical officers, specialists, nurses, nutritionists ... Indeed having such a disease is like fighting a war. The bright side of things is when I went for prayers in a big conference in Singapore, the lady who prayed for me said that I did nothing wrong, God was pleased with me. She said that God told her I trusted God fully. Just go through what the doctors ordered and God would heal me.
He did. On July 10 I had a three-monthly follow up and would move to a 6-monthly check up next. I took a look at my medical records, as I flew to Sabah, it was exactly 2 years to the day since I went into the hospital.
(1168) Good-bye
In December 2016, our landlord intended to increase our rental. I told God and asked what next, He said, go home.
That I did. It was heart-breaking giving up more than half of what I had accumulated in the three room, three bath house with a comfortable living room. Yet it was heartening to see the maid who received my household goods crying and praising God for her blessing.
We moved what my son needed into two small rooms on top of a shop. I left Seldarado, not knowing if it was a good bye for ever. Giving thanks for 2.5 years of peace and happiness.
That I did. It was heart-breaking giving up more than half of what I had accumulated in the three room, three bath house with a comfortable living room. Yet it was heartening to see the maid who received my household goods crying and praising God for her blessing.
We moved what my son needed into two small rooms on top of a shop. I left Seldarado, not knowing if it was a good bye for ever. Giving thanks for 2.5 years of peace and happiness.
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