(1170) Rebuke

As the second anniversary of my hospitalisation drew near, I prayed another searching prayer. The gist of it involved two dates, one in May and one in July. The proposed trip in May lasts about seven weeks and the one in July about nine weeks. Of course the amount attached to July would be much more than May because of the duration of the trip.

Much to my surprise, money did come in the form of money remitted from out of my country, about four hundred more than what I asked for. That itself is another side story.

The amount that arrived paid for outgoing ticket to Sabah, living expenses for nine weeks. In addition, using the money sent in, I bought return ticket to KL and outgoing to Borneo after nine weeks. One week before the return date, I was very discouraged. In my heart, I was thinking: very smart, how could you abandon a comfortable existence and come here to deal with terrible plumbing in Borneo?? I was very tempted to fly back to KL and burn the outgoing ticket. Then I would tell God please give me a house with a proper functioning toilet before I fly out.

My pastor was a relatively young chap who dares to preach God's truth without fearing the congregation. To be truthful, I seldom hear of preachers who preach like him in KL or Silver City. That Sunday his message hit my heart. He said that in every life there is a mission. We are not created to enjoy comfort, to have a good time on earth alone. We each are amazingly crafted to fulfil one or many specific purpose(s) to bless others and to glorify God in the process.

I felt really ashamed. Here I am, complaining about no kitchen facilities. Moaning about toilet water source that leaks and the outlet conduit that is stuck. How was I to survive if he did bring me to that place with no water and electrical supply?

Within a week, I changed my mind. I burned two tickets and stayed on with my own funds. Foolish, perhaps. But by now I saw the 16 year-old student reading some days on a standard 4 level in English stories, it is very gratifying. At least I am doing something constructive with my golden years. Since I am not an ambitious person, I'll help one child at a time, like the person who pick one star fish at a time to throw it back to the sea. One star fish thrown back to the water is one life saved. For those whose life I touch, one person is immeasurably loved by God, worthy of all my attention for a few years in the creator's eyes.