(1171) Confucius proverb

There is a Chinese proverb: a woman with no material talent is virtuous. I was never quite a feminist but had problem with this saying for many years.

We will look at four cases:
1. My mum's best friend is a very blessed woman. She single-handedly brought up six children and all her children love and respect her. Probably fifteen years ago, her rich son bought a new house for her and husband and unmarried daughter, it was in a very exclusive and desirable area. The entire family wanted them to move but she vetoed the idea. They continued to stay in an old house next to a highway: noisy, dusty and the neighbourhood was deteriorating to become foreign workers' bunk houses. After the untimely death of her husband, she lived on a comfortable trust fund with her only daughter. No one knows if she had elected to move out of the unhealthy area, her husband might have lived a little longer.

2. My mother-in-law was a woman of means. When her husband passed on, the family suggested moving her to an apartment near her youngest child. She categorically objected and the idea became moot. Probably about fifteen years later, she cried and groaned about being confined in her prison of a house to all and sundry. But it was too late, no one dares to take on the thankless task of relocating her as she was infirm and was awaiting death.

3. My good friend (blog 1133) will probably face the same kind of problem in about ten years' time. This friend of mine was a famous business woman in her hey days. She inherited loads in her mature years and became very active in increasing her portfolio.  She expected to live with her daughters-in-law and grand children all under the same roof. But in real life her first son and wife are in a house more than 5 miles from the 7-room detached building.

4. My mum has only three children. She has long been what Confucius termed a virtuous woman. When she was young, she obeyed her mum and dad. After she was married, she listened to my dad. Now that she is widowed, she listens to my brothers. Because she has no money-making talents, and she did not inherit great wealth, therefore she could not vote to go against the better judgement of her kin. In contrast she lives a good life, well loved and cared for by the next two generations. It is ironic that the great sage could say four little words that could still govern life under the sun a few thousand years later.

Money could confer the choice of making wrong decisions for the woman concerned. Unhappily, a woman of means could let her independence lead her into her bind in the end.