(16) Forgiveness

In a short article on page 133 of the March 2002 Reader's Digest I find what Marilyn Elias wrote in USA Today being summarized.

Elias was quoting Stanford University psychologist Carl Thoresen: Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or condoning offences, or reconciling with the offender. It means giving up the right to be angry.

In the group treatment Thoresen's team built, they emphasize:
- Shifting rigid personal "rules" for how people should behave to "preferences," and accepting that no adult can control another.
- Seeing the hurtful incident from a neutral viewpoint.
- Moving from blame to understanding, then moving on.

I personally have not seen a better definition of forgiveness than this in the past 22 years.