Tuesday, October 5, 2010

(145) By the grace of God/ Upbringing 9

Something close to my heart

The other morning one of the younger moms talked about her special child and ended up weeping. I must confess that I was distressed. On one hand I felt uncomfortable. On the other I don't know what to do. And so I did nothing but continue to pray in my heart.

If you have been reading my upbringing series, you must have guessed that my life work had been bringing up my talented children who learned differently from others. While I was in Silver City, children seemed to appear in front of my door step. I either chose to help one or reject the other because of uncooperative parents. I know it sounds unfair, but from experience I know that it is more important that the mom trusts me and works with me than having a pliant child. However, since I moved to this big city, doors to teaching and tutoring closed completely. And therefore I started writing. It is like returning to my teenage years, I used to publish short articles in newspapers and magazines.

Going back to the younger mom, at some point I caught her alone and was able to share a little with her. You see, my Elizabeth was bright as a new pin, as bubbly as little girls can be. Yet she was different. When she was a few months old, she would bite whoever that displeased her. I was able to avoid being bitten as I could sense her mood. My husband wasn't so lucky. After all her front teeth have grown, it really hurt. One day, without warning, my husband bit Elizabeth on her arm. Of course she cried and yelled. But, once she knew it hurts, she did not bite anyone again. Mind, I don't advocate biting little babies, but I have to accept it here as a solution.

Throughout her childhood, I could see the strong leadership tendencies in Elizabeth. Older or bigger children would fall under her influence and do her bidding willingly. She was both short and small, a tiny dab of a child. But it was not unusual for a few children to follow her in play. She sometimes became over excited. Twice she scratched other girls. One was my helper's only daughter. It was a good thing that my helper witnessed the conflict. Elizabeth was simulating flying while sitting on a big pillow. Joyce was trying to coax her to go and take a bath. Since Joyce was two years older, she was winning the tug of war. As fast as lightning, Elizabeth scratched Joyce. While my helper attended to first aid, I disciplined Elizabeth by hitting her bottom. Soon both girls were crying. The funny part was they huddled together in tears. Joyce was indignant that her darling baby was being punished, and Elizabeth was upset that I interfered in her dealings with her lady-in-waiting. At times there was something about Elizabeth that seemed like a royal personage deigning to confer some advantages to her followers.

The next episode happened in school. Elizabeth was seven years old. The person being scratched was her biggest and most loyal fan. According to those little girls who saw it happen, all claimed that Cassandra was forcing Elizabeth to do something the latter did not want to. Each of the onlookers stepped back, expecting some retaliation. Cassandra alone was trying to persuade and physically pull Elizabeth away. After investigating the entire incident, I went as far as to apologise to Cassandra's mom. The amazing part was Cassandra was not angry, she was still Elizabeth's chief admirer. I still can recall her upturned face telling me "It's nothing! Doesn't hurt anymore!" Of course Elizabeth had a serious talking to from my husband and I. We grounded her and withdrew all privileges for a week. For that long week, Cassandra actually suffered more than my daughter. You see, at that point of time Cassandra was in my house most mornings. 

It was uncanny, what I chose to reveal was somewhat similar to what the mom was concerned about. Since one child could overcome it by the grace of God and  praying parents, there should be no reason for any concerned mom to continually lose sleep over.

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