If you have been following this blog, you may remember the cheap one dollar coconut rice for breakfast. Now I want to talk about the other end of economic contrast.
Not many miles from this little food stall, we find a private university. Many local and foreign students study there. A new residence facility was built. a small single room with attached bathroom was priced at $1,500. We need to be mindful that a new graduate engineer only earns $2,100 monthly while a new business admin graduate may earn only $1,300 a month.
You may say,"Well! A single room of course would be expensive!" Take a look at students sharing a condo across town: three girls sharing the master bedroom, two girls sharing a medium size room and one girl staying in the smallest room. The entire condo 's built up area is 900 sq ft. The girl who drew the lot to get a single room is the luckiest. She at least has some extra floor space to walk in or to sort things. The two girls sharing one room has only enough space to walk past each other between the beds. The master bedroom was the worst! After putting in three beds, two wardrobes and three desks and chairs, there is only enough space for one person to walk. Any other room mate has to sit down to let the first pass. My friend's daughter actually paid over five hundred dollars for such crowded living space. The only redeeming factor is that there is cleaning service for the public space: sitting area, kitchenette and two bathrooms once a week.
The above condo sells for three hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Friday, October 28, 2011
(558) Money talks
I have come across cases of children who hate the delinquent parent who walked out. While I cannot blame them for feeling this way, I want to present the case on the opposite side of the fence.
An abused woman escaped to rebuild her life. She endured two years of living alone in a small rented room. Many times a week she went near her old house but stayed concealed to look at her children. When the divorce became final, she was awarded visitation right. Even though her ex-husband frustrate her often in meeting her children, she persisted.
This is the second year of her reconciliation with her children. Many thousands have been spent, she is dipping into her divorce settlement and her life savings to fulfill the many needs and wants of her two perhaps long deprived kids. You see, her ex had a very tight fist when it comes to money.
While I see the deep love of this woman for her children, I fear for her future. Unless there is a miracle, it is most unlikely these children would take care of her in her old age. I cannot stop her from caring and showing love, but I do advise her to practice restraint.
If she chooses to keep her nest egg intact, it would mean a cut in close ties. Now she chooses to sacrifice herself, I certainly hope they would not drop her like hot cakes when her extra cash is gone. You may think I am mercenary, but her brothers, sisters and close friends all concur that her best course of action lies with keeping her money.
An abused woman escaped to rebuild her life. She endured two years of living alone in a small rented room. Many times a week she went near her old house but stayed concealed to look at her children. When the divorce became final, she was awarded visitation right. Even though her ex-husband frustrate her often in meeting her children, she persisted.
This is the second year of her reconciliation with her children. Many thousands have been spent, she is dipping into her divorce settlement and her life savings to fulfill the many needs and wants of her two perhaps long deprived kids. You see, her ex had a very tight fist when it comes to money.
While I see the deep love of this woman for her children, I fear for her future. Unless there is a miracle, it is most unlikely these children would take care of her in her old age. I cannot stop her from caring and showing love, but I do advise her to practice restraint.
If she chooses to keep her nest egg intact, it would mean a cut in close ties. Now she chooses to sacrifice herself, I certainly hope they would not drop her like hot cakes when her extra cash is gone. You may think I am mercenary, but her brothers, sisters and close friends all concur that her best course of action lies with keeping her money.
(557) Monkey business
My daughter lives in a hostel facing a secondary forest. Her room mate likes to push aside the curtain to get a breath of fresh air. She looked up from her home work and screamed! There was a monkey crawling up the grating nailed to their window. Her scream frightened the poor monkey, who quickly descended.
Elizabeth (my daughter) is a little braver. She faced the monkey squarely and told him off. Just the day before, she had to clean the overturned garbage bin after one monkey sneaked in to look for food. This creature actually made a face at her before moving off.
Near my mother's house, there are many fruit trees. Squirrels abound. One went in through the door to steal the bananas hung near the window. It was a major undertaking to chase it out. We had to tie nettings on all doors and windows to prevent these cute animals from including the house as one of their daily food gathering centers.
Elizabeth (my daughter) is a little braver. She faced the monkey squarely and told him off. Just the day before, she had to clean the overturned garbage bin after one monkey sneaked in to look for food. This creature actually made a face at her before moving off.
Near my mother's house, there are many fruit trees. Squirrels abound. One went in through the door to steal the bananas hung near the window. It was a major undertaking to chase it out. We had to tie nettings on all doors and windows to prevent these cute animals from including the house as one of their daily food gathering centers.
(556) Country driving by Peter Hessler
Apart from Wild Swan, this book really give me a deeper look into China (the land of my grandfather). The book was divided into three sections: the wall, the country and the factory.
I find it amusing that there are foreigners who are that interested in the Great Wall of China. A few years back, I read a book written by one that more or less hiked from one end of the wall to the other in a few journeys. Here Peter took road trips driving as close to the different sections of the different walls built in different dynasties. And here I am, a Chinese by blood who has not visited the Wall. I don't think I would regret if I never had the chance to visit it before I die. Nobody who had visited it as a tourist could tell me anything to create a desire in my heart to go.
After living in Beijing for a few years, he actually rented a house in a tiny village in the north near the wall. He lived and wrote there, getting to know the few families well. As a result, he was able to give "penetrating" views of the culture, customs, life style, and behavior of his neighbours. He certainly described the political climate as well as its inner working in the tiny village very plainly.
As he pursued the wall and the village life, he surveyed and learned much about factories. Imagine how China blossomed from a mainly agricultural country to the capital of the world's production in a relatively short period of time. Suddenly, everything was made in China. From inferior products, the factories in China have come a long way to make some of the high quality precision goods we now take for granted.
The twenty first century was said to belong to China. Yet I think of the poor two year old who was run over by two vehicles. It took the seventeenth person to walk past, a rubbish recycler, to pick her up off the middle of the road. What would the world's biggest and strongest economy do to the rest of the world if its average citizen treats the life of a child as that of a rat?
I find it amusing that there are foreigners who are that interested in the Great Wall of China. A few years back, I read a book written by one that more or less hiked from one end of the wall to the other in a few journeys. Here Peter took road trips driving as close to the different sections of the different walls built in different dynasties. And here I am, a Chinese by blood who has not visited the Wall. I don't think I would regret if I never had the chance to visit it before I die. Nobody who had visited it as a tourist could tell me anything to create a desire in my heart to go.
After living in Beijing for a few years, he actually rented a house in a tiny village in the north near the wall. He lived and wrote there, getting to know the few families well. As a result, he was able to give "penetrating" views of the culture, customs, life style, and behavior of his neighbours. He certainly described the political climate as well as its inner working in the tiny village very plainly.
As he pursued the wall and the village life, he surveyed and learned much about factories. Imagine how China blossomed from a mainly agricultural country to the capital of the world's production in a relatively short period of time. Suddenly, everything was made in China. From inferior products, the factories in China have come a long way to make some of the high quality precision goods we now take for granted.
The twenty first century was said to belong to China. Yet I think of the poor two year old who was run over by two vehicles. It took the seventeenth person to walk past, a rubbish recycler, to pick her up off the middle of the road. What would the world's biggest and strongest economy do to the rest of the world if its average citizen treats the life of a child as that of a rat?
(555) Along Came a Spider by James Patterson
Two children (from two families) of a high official and a famous movie star were kidnapped from a prestigious private school in Washington DC. The boy died of an over dose of a knock out drug. Ransom was paid but the girl was not returned.
The police had a break when an observant citizen gave them crucial information leading them to the kidnapper. The latter escaped but opened fire in Mc Donalds, killing some patrons. He was caught. The media circus started when the defense lawyer called Alex Cross in as a hostile witness. It was unthinkable but the accused was allowed to be placed under hypnosis in court. When the verdict returned, there was a collective sigh that it was life imprisonment for the suspect who could be suffering from a multiple-personality disorder.
From there much happened and it was found that the ransom was hijacked by three FBI agents. Later the girl was found in South America working in a farm. The impression was given in the book that it was easy for the prisoner to escape from prison and kill again. It was interesting that in real life this killer who successfully murdered many was mild as milk. Apparently, many sociopaths are seemingly softies who could not even discipline their own children.
This book reminded me of a local case of kidnapping: the youngest son of a rich family was kidnapped by the husband of an elder sister. This despicable brother-in-law killed the boy and threw the body in the river. This family had to deal with a double blow: besides the death of the youngest boy, they have to help their daughter bring up the son of a murderer!
The police had a break when an observant citizen gave them crucial information leading them to the kidnapper. The latter escaped but opened fire in Mc Donalds, killing some patrons. He was caught. The media circus started when the defense lawyer called Alex Cross in as a hostile witness. It was unthinkable but the accused was allowed to be placed under hypnosis in court. When the verdict returned, there was a collective sigh that it was life imprisonment for the suspect who could be suffering from a multiple-personality disorder.
From there much happened and it was found that the ransom was hijacked by three FBI agents. Later the girl was found in South America working in a farm. The impression was given in the book that it was easy for the prisoner to escape from prison and kill again. It was interesting that in real life this killer who successfully murdered many was mild as milk. Apparently, many sociopaths are seemingly softies who could not even discipline their own children.
This book reminded me of a local case of kidnapping: the youngest son of a rich family was kidnapped by the husband of an elder sister. This despicable brother-in-law killed the boy and threw the body in the river. This family had to deal with a double blow: besides the death of the youngest boy, they have to help their daughter bring up the son of a murderer!
(554) Kiss the Girls by James Patterson
It is a frightening tale of two intelligent serial killers. One collects beautiful women and keep them in an underground harem. The other uses and kills females, mutilating the corpse to keep different parts of the bodies.
When the number of missing women built up with some murdered in cold blood, the police and the FBI are under pressure to find the kidnapper turned murderer. Somewhere along the line of investigation, a clue came out that the two killers were in contact.
A lady doctor who was kidnapped escaped against all odds. From the information revealed by her, Alex Cross was able to locate the hidden harem to free his niece and other victims. It was illogical that the doctor would stupidly go back to her residence where the person kidnapped her. I find it unbelievable that the FBI did not place her in a safe house or at least place her under protection! As a result of such foolish choice, she was soundly beaten by both the killers. It was amazing that she did not die.
As most stories of this sort go, eventually the killers become over confident and are killed or caught by some heroes. It was a high adrenalin and exciting read! While it is very advantageous for a woman to be beautiful in features and figure, such a person easily becomes a target of such killers.
When the number of missing women built up with some murdered in cold blood, the police and the FBI are under pressure to find the kidnapper turned murderer. Somewhere along the line of investigation, a clue came out that the two killers were in contact.
A lady doctor who was kidnapped escaped against all odds. From the information revealed by her, Alex Cross was able to locate the hidden harem to free his niece and other victims. It was illogical that the doctor would stupidly go back to her residence where the person kidnapped her. I find it unbelievable that the FBI did not place her in a safe house or at least place her under protection! As a result of such foolish choice, she was soundly beaten by both the killers. It was amazing that she did not die.
As most stories of this sort go, eventually the killers become over confident and are killed or caught by some heroes. It was a high adrenalin and exciting read! While it is very advantageous for a woman to be beautiful in features and figure, such a person easily becomes a target of such killers.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
(553) Transformed life
I have a friend who recently accepted Jesus as his savior. The other day he went to a shopping mall where it was difficult to find parking. He waited patiently for a car to back out. But before he could turn in, another car swerved in and took the lot. He immediately got down to tell the driver that he had been waiting for the lot. That lady was rude and said,"So ...". I guess what she meant is the rule of the jungle applies. He controlled himself and breathed deeply a few times. He figured there was no use arguing with someone like that.
Had it been a month ago, he would have waited for the inconsiderate woman to leave and then walked around the car giving it a nice long scratch all the way. This time he just sat there for a while, whispered a prayer for God to take his anger away. He asked God to deal with the woman His way and left things at that.
Of course he is no angel. But as it is there is a drastic change. It was not him who could walk away without paying back in kind. It was God's conviction in his heart that caused a change in behavior.
Had it been a month ago, he would have waited for the inconsiderate woman to leave and then walked around the car giving it a nice long scratch all the way. This time he just sat there for a while, whispered a prayer for God to take his anger away. He asked God to deal with the woman His way and left things at that.
Of course he is no angel. But as it is there is a drastic change. It was not him who could walk away without paying back in kind. It was God's conviction in his heart that caused a change in behavior.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
(552) Girl friend?
My neighbour Ruby has a son who is rather good-looking. We will call him Eric. Eric met a girl, Gwen, in his pre-U days. While Eric went abroad to Canada, Gwen was studying at home. As soon as Eric finished and come back, Gwen went for her Masters in UK. They were separated for more or less four years. Now that both are done with their studies, you would think they would enjoy working and dating in the same city.
But truth is stranger than fiction. Gwen joined an airline and decided to fly for two years. I suppose it is quite a lucrative way to see the world. But what puzzled me is: why do young people thrive on this type of so called open relationship? This couple, Eric and Gwen, would celebrate their anniversaries on the day they met every month. In this internet age, it is quite an achievement for a couple to last one month, isn't it? Counting things their way, they actually weathered at least fifty anniversaries. I am impressed!
Their relationship has experienced set back before. Way back in his second year, they parted company. A few months later they mutually decided to get back together without telling any of their friends. Well into the fifth year, they are still unofficial. Since they parted, he did not ask her to be his special and neither did she. I may be old fashion, but I wonder if they are dating around? Or are they keeping quiet about them getting together to avoid having to tell their friends the next break up?
Ruby hopes her son will meet other girls and if this one flies away, it is not a disaster as Eric is just twenty one years old.
But truth is stranger than fiction. Gwen joined an airline and decided to fly for two years. I suppose it is quite a lucrative way to see the world. But what puzzled me is: why do young people thrive on this type of so called open relationship? This couple, Eric and Gwen, would celebrate their anniversaries on the day they met every month. In this internet age, it is quite an achievement for a couple to last one month, isn't it? Counting things their way, they actually weathered at least fifty anniversaries. I am impressed!
Their relationship has experienced set back before. Way back in his second year, they parted company. A few months later they mutually decided to get back together without telling any of their friends. Well into the fifth year, they are still unofficial. Since they parted, he did not ask her to be his special and neither did she. I may be old fashion, but I wonder if they are dating around? Or are they keeping quiet about them getting together to avoid having to tell their friends the next break up?
Ruby hopes her son will meet other girls and if this one flies away, it is not a disaster as Eric is just twenty one years old.
(551) The eternal Eve
In "Come, Tell Me How You Live" by Agatha Christie, we find that the rural peasants were more or less self sufficient when harvest was good. So how did the archaeologist encourage the villagers to work for money?
In page 69, we see the dig foreman suggested that a little extra money would come in handy to buy their wives ornaments. Even when the wives all concurred that the digging might be a good thing, the husbands were worried that the digging would affect the Arab's sense of dignity. But well! It was just a few days of test trenching, they would have the entire winter to consider about the idea of working before spring come.
Now let us look at Foundation by Isaac Asimov. On page 183 we find Master Trader Mallow demonstrating a simple nuclear ornament on a young girl. There he created a demand for something that had not been seen in that far off planet. Once the Head of Government saw how much money he could squeeze out of the women with a monopoly, he relented and played ball.
All over the world, people make money by offering Beauty: clothes, cosmetics, skin care, head gear, foot gear, hand bags, jewelry, scarves, belts ...
In page 69, we see the dig foreman suggested that a little extra money would come in handy to buy their wives ornaments. Even when the wives all concurred that the digging might be a good thing, the husbands were worried that the digging would affect the Arab's sense of dignity. But well! It was just a few days of test trenching, they would have the entire winter to consider about the idea of working before spring come.
Now let us look at Foundation by Isaac Asimov. On page 183 we find Master Trader Mallow demonstrating a simple nuclear ornament on a young girl. There he created a demand for something that had not been seen in that far off planet. Once the Head of Government saw how much money he could squeeze out of the women with a monopoly, he relented and played ball.
All over the world, people make money by offering Beauty: clothes, cosmetics, skin care, head gear, foot gear, hand bags, jewelry, scarves, belts ...
(550) Eavesdrop
I am comparing Arkady Darrel in Second Foundation by Isaac Asimov with Tuppence in N or M by Agatha Christie.
Both eavesdropped. Arkady planned ahead to wrangle a sound receiver from her classmate. Tuppence was thinking on her feet by asking her friend to "call" her away by phone. Arkady listened comfortably in her bedroom by using technology while Tuppence placed her ear next to the door.
Arkady was a stowaway in Munn's space ship. She changed history by appealing to Lady Callia who was able to suggest things to change the Lord's mind. For an eavesdropper, Arkady did well with the knowledge not meant for her ears. She risked her life in going off with Munn. Were it not for Lady Callia, she might have ended up as the Lord's new wife. And she was all of fourteen and a half years old!
Tuppence actually arrived first in the place Tommy was assigned to go. She risk life and limb by choosing to go to the place of action. In the end, all is well that ends well. She enlisted Albert's help and it was Albert who saved Tommy's life from German agents.
Of course decent people do not eavesdrop private conversations. Yet what excitement would there be in any stories without such untoward activities?
Both eavesdropped. Arkady planned ahead to wrangle a sound receiver from her classmate. Tuppence was thinking on her feet by asking her friend to "call" her away by phone. Arkady listened comfortably in her bedroom by using technology while Tuppence placed her ear next to the door.
Arkady was a stowaway in Munn's space ship. She changed history by appealing to Lady Callia who was able to suggest things to change the Lord's mind. For an eavesdropper, Arkady did well with the knowledge not meant for her ears. She risked her life in going off with Munn. Were it not for Lady Callia, she might have ended up as the Lord's new wife. And she was all of fourteen and a half years old!
Tuppence actually arrived first in the place Tommy was assigned to go. She risk life and limb by choosing to go to the place of action. In the end, all is well that ends well. She enlisted Albert's help and it was Albert who saved Tommy's life from German agents.
Of course decent people do not eavesdrop private conversations. Yet what excitement would there be in any stories without such untoward activities?
Friday, October 21, 2011
(549) Early Memory
Last weekend I had ginger and onion beef and rice. It was cooked in a classic way. That dish brought back memories from the time Michael was a toddler. We used to eat that in a little cafe in a shopping center near our old house in the northern sector of the Capital city.
The funny thing is my son did remember the little cafe and the dish we always shared. I remember the first thing I ordered was ginger and onion beef in this cafe. After that I never order anything else. I know I was too sick to drive when Michael was six. By the time he was seven, we moved to Silver City. So from the age of three to five, he remembered this little eating place.
I don't know about you, my first child hood memory was my trip to my grandma's village a few hundred miles away by train when I was six. What was the first thing you remember about your early years? Michael remembered his little red car which we did not move to Silver City. He remembered moving from the apartment to the house with the huge back yard when he was five. He remembered living in his grandpa's when my husband was in Japan (he was barely four years old). He even remembered spending one night with Annie's family after Annie's fourth birthday party(he was about three years old). Compared to many others, he seemed to have a seamless train of memories from a very young age.
For my personal interest in memory retention, I have asked many friends similar questions. It seems to me that traumas and unhappiness in childhood tend to lead to gaps or loss of such memories.
The funny thing is my son did remember the little cafe and the dish we always shared. I remember the first thing I ordered was ginger and onion beef in this cafe. After that I never order anything else. I know I was too sick to drive when Michael was six. By the time he was seven, we moved to Silver City. So from the age of three to five, he remembered this little eating place.
I don't know about you, my first child hood memory was my trip to my grandma's village a few hundred miles away by train when I was six. What was the first thing you remember about your early years? Michael remembered his little red car which we did not move to Silver City. He remembered moving from the apartment to the house with the huge back yard when he was five. He remembered living in his grandpa's when my husband was in Japan (he was barely four years old). He even remembered spending one night with Annie's family after Annie's fourth birthday party(he was about three years old). Compared to many others, he seemed to have a seamless train of memories from a very young age.
For my personal interest in memory retention, I have asked many friends similar questions. It seems to me that traumas and unhappiness in childhood tend to lead to gaps or loss of such memories.
(548) Permanent Tiredness
Last night I went to have Cantonese Fried Yee Mee as dinner. The cook deep fried the coiled dried noodle. The he poured a thick transparent sauce with egg drops, green vege, fish cake, pork pieces, and two prawns onto the crispy noodles. It was delicious!
The stall owner cooks. His wife prepares the ingredients for him to work on and the foreign maid serves. I must have either ordered from them or walked past them a hundred times in the last ten years. Last night I really looked at the wife. She moved around like a robot. Her face betrayed no emotions. She must have been tired for years.
While I was enjoying my meal, I thought of Aurora's mother. From day to day, the latter also went about her business like an automaton. Both a cook's wife and a fruit shop owner work long hours and hardly take a day off. Apart from the long and tiring work day, these ladies are mothers. They are wives too. There are things they need to do for their children at home. Late at night, they still have to reserve time and energy for their husbands.
No wonder Aurora used to love coming to visit Elizabeth. She soaked up all the attention I lavished on Elizabeth and her. While it is good to have one's parents in business, the steady flow of cash eases one's way in life. But a child that grows up in such families tend to feel neglected and unloved. I wonder how such a background would affect Aurora's relationship with her future children?
The stall owner cooks. His wife prepares the ingredients for him to work on and the foreign maid serves. I must have either ordered from them or walked past them a hundred times in the last ten years. Last night I really looked at the wife. She moved around like a robot. Her face betrayed no emotions. She must have been tired for years.
While I was enjoying my meal, I thought of Aurora's mother. From day to day, the latter also went about her business like an automaton. Both a cook's wife and a fruit shop owner work long hours and hardly take a day off. Apart from the long and tiring work day, these ladies are mothers. They are wives too. There are things they need to do for their children at home. Late at night, they still have to reserve time and energy for their husbands.
No wonder Aurora used to love coming to visit Elizabeth. She soaked up all the attention I lavished on Elizabeth and her. While it is good to have one's parents in business, the steady flow of cash eases one's way in life. But a child that grows up in such families tend to feel neglected and unloved. I wonder how such a background would affect Aurora's relationship with her future children?
(547) Girls - sugar and spice?
I had lunch with old friends a few days ago. Along the way of talking about children, we discussed nieces too. Betty's niece was tangled with a handsome young man with many girl friends in her first year of University. As a result of her yo-yo emotional swings, she did badly. She actually talked her family into letting her have a gap year learning Buddhism studies in a foreign country. After that year of quiet contemplation, she came back and completed her first degree with better grades. Guess what? She is working now, and she is in a relationship with the same young man who caused her such a lot heart-ache.
Minnie also has a niece at risk. This young lady kept losing weight until she landed in the hospital. The doctors suspected her of having anorexic nervosa. And accordingly she went under psychiatric care. The sad thing is she could not get along with her shrink. Minnie's eldest sister kept on pressing Minnie into spending time and talking to the patient. Strictly speaking, lay people should not meddle in such cases as anorexics do die from heart attacks. But well, in a case of life and death, why shouldn't a concerned loved one make the effort and take the time to connect with the patient? If a person feels bad enough to starve herself to that extent, surely she needs others to pay attention and to really listen to her.
Betty and Minnie both have sons only. They would not get extra feminine participation in their families until their sons marry. Thank goodness they will be spared the heartaches the mothers of the above-mentioned young ladies are currently going through.
Minnie also has a niece at risk. This young lady kept losing weight until she landed in the hospital. The doctors suspected her of having anorexic nervosa. And accordingly she went under psychiatric care. The sad thing is she could not get along with her shrink. Minnie's eldest sister kept on pressing Minnie into spending time and talking to the patient. Strictly speaking, lay people should not meddle in such cases as anorexics do die from heart attacks. But well, in a case of life and death, why shouldn't a concerned loved one make the effort and take the time to connect with the patient? If a person feels bad enough to starve herself to that extent, surely she needs others to pay attention and to really listen to her.
Betty and Minnie both have sons only. They would not get extra feminine participation in their families until their sons marry. Thank goodness they will be spared the heartaches the mothers of the above-mentioned young ladies are currently going through.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
(546) Enigma 2
If you have read 893 Hopscotch therapy, you will remember how the snail hop scotch has helped Aurora to create an additional register or working space in her brain.
After Elizabeth's Pre-u examinations, we went to be with Aurora while she underwent a meal replacement detox programme. Aurora is a very intelligent girl. She is also excellent at playing dumb. Few people realise how smart she is. She is the eldest of four siblings and her parents are very busy running a retail business. While Elizabeth and I were staying in Aurora's house, we helped her go through her piles of clothes. Both the portion stuffed in her drawers' in her room as well as the big pile in the basket downstairs. We showed her how to classify clothes into three piles: those she can fit in and those that are too big and a third pile for those that are too small and short. She found bags for group 2 and 3, we folded them and stuffed them into the bags to be given away. After that we help her eliminated those she did not like and then we sorted them into categories to be placed into different drawers.
Until now I don't know if she simply hates to keep things in order or she is merely lazy. Two months after the big reorganisation, Elizabeth went to visit her to attend a going away party. It seemed her clothes filled the basket downstairs again. Being a tyrant, Elizabeth did not help her this time but merely supervised and ensured she brought them up and place them neatly into the drawers in her room upstairs.
Here we have a girl that is same age as my daughter. She actually drives with more skill and confidence than Elizabeth. Aurora has a personal car to use and is in charged of sending her younger siblings to school and back. With putting in less effort, she actually out performed Elizabeth in a public examination. But heaven helps the young man who is going to marry her in future. She would not lift a finger to clean her room. She could stand her parents' and her siblings' displeasure at having her unfolded clothes higgledy piggledy placed either in a basket or on a sofa next to the main door for weeks and months. I dread to think of how she is going to manage her children, if she is blessed with any. Perhaps the fact that she is living in a University hostel now would train her to be a little more organised.
It seemed easier to correct learning difficulties than to alter attitude and behavior. I am certainly very glad that Aurora will have a good degree and will become highly employable in the near future. But she will have greater challenges ahead of her, I hope she will be equally teachable as she was as a seven year old.
After Elizabeth's Pre-u examinations, we went to be with Aurora while she underwent a meal replacement detox programme. Aurora is a very intelligent girl. She is also excellent at playing dumb. Few people realise how smart she is. She is the eldest of four siblings and her parents are very busy running a retail business. While Elizabeth and I were staying in Aurora's house, we helped her go through her piles of clothes. Both the portion stuffed in her drawers' in her room as well as the big pile in the basket downstairs. We showed her how to classify clothes into three piles: those she can fit in and those that are too big and a third pile for those that are too small and short. She found bags for group 2 and 3, we folded them and stuffed them into the bags to be given away. After that we help her eliminated those she did not like and then we sorted them into categories to be placed into different drawers.
Until now I don't know if she simply hates to keep things in order or she is merely lazy. Two months after the big reorganisation, Elizabeth went to visit her to attend a going away party. It seemed her clothes filled the basket downstairs again. Being a tyrant, Elizabeth did not help her this time but merely supervised and ensured she brought them up and place them neatly into the drawers in her room upstairs.
Here we have a girl that is same age as my daughter. She actually drives with more skill and confidence than Elizabeth. Aurora has a personal car to use and is in charged of sending her younger siblings to school and back. With putting in less effort, she actually out performed Elizabeth in a public examination. But heaven helps the young man who is going to marry her in future. She would not lift a finger to clean her room. She could stand her parents' and her siblings' displeasure at having her unfolded clothes higgledy piggledy placed either in a basket or on a sofa next to the main door for weeks and months. I dread to think of how she is going to manage her children, if she is blessed with any. Perhaps the fact that she is living in a University hostel now would train her to be a little more organised.
It seemed easier to correct learning difficulties than to alter attitude and behavior. I am certainly very glad that Aurora will have a good degree and will become highly employable in the near future. But she will have greater challenges ahead of her, I hope she will be equally teachable as she was as a seven year old.
(545) The love of gold
Here let me make it clear that I don't hate money. But neither do I love it. I need a reasonable amount of money to lead a simple life. My needs are few.
I can divide my life into four sections: before college, during college, back in my home town and away living in Silver City. Before college, I was an out and out extrovert. I used to have many friends and even more activities. I worked very hard during college as I wanted to qualify for another scholarship to stay on in USA. That I achieved not through good academic performance alone. God led a rich Christian to offer me the means to go on for my Masters degree. I met Jesus around that period and received the call to return to my home country. I returned to work and marriage. My family and I have a good twelve years living in a small town that is called a city. Now I am back in the smog and noisy metropolitan area.
There are few ladies I count as good friends. One I met after I returned from US. She also just returned from four years in UK around then. We managed to meet and spend a fair amount of time together playing tennis and jogging during the week ends. I was married about six years ahead of her. We managed to keep up our friendship until I moved to Silver City. After that move it became increasingly difficult to keep in touch. Still we visited each other at least twice a year. Then she and her husband actually helped us locate our new house before we move back to the capital city.
As the years go by I noticed that her life became more and more dictated by money. As her business did not grow yearly because of her principle to be honest and above board, she looked into immigration. She told herself that she wants free university education for all her children. For that she gave up her business and become a salaried professional in her adopted country.
I know she inherited millions of our currency after the death of her mother. So she cannot claim to be poor or in need. Perhaps the fact that she married a gold digger husband who refused to work way before retirement age did not contribute to her life goal of accumulating more wealth. Lately she told me mournfully that no matter how much she tried to add to her nest egg, money seemed to come and then frittered away.
I listened to her frustration and I do understand her disappointment. But I don't know how to tell her that this is hardly the time to build up more earthly wealth. The last thing I want to do is to hurt her already bruised feelings. Perhaps as an immigrant in Australia, it is difficult to prosper as a salaried professional. Taxes are rather high. I do know that there is a lot of tension between husband and wife over money. Just to show you the level it went to is rather ridiculous: I used to drop by their place and invite myself for lunch before they left the country. One day their maid was told off for boiling three eggs more than was ordered because I turned up unexpectedly when they were not around. I used to enjoy talking to their children then. Let us think about it: how much does an egg cost a few years back? In a retail grocery store, it may cost thirty cents. But if we buy thirty in a super market, it merely costs twenty three cents. For 69 cents, the maid was reprimanded and I was embarrassed. There after, I brought my own lunch and a share more for the children if they fancy my food.
Each time she returned from Australia, she invited me to visit. I made all kinds of excuses. But the fact is I would hardly want to bunk in her house there. It would be too expensive to eat out for three meals a day. Yet I know better than to eat her food that she and her husband so carefully rationed. So you see, her love of money and my relative lack of it is blocking the friendship from growing deeper. It does not lead to evil yet, but neither is it helpful in this sort of circumstances.
Perhaps as I grow older, I need to be increasingly be on the look out for like minded people. I would not belong with anybody who loves money. I have little to contribute and no influence to help anyone increase their stock pile. It is sad that divergent paths force people to part. That is in spite of the fact that I still like them and we shared a lot in the past. I still wish them well.
I can divide my life into four sections: before college, during college, back in my home town and away living in Silver City. Before college, I was an out and out extrovert. I used to have many friends and even more activities. I worked very hard during college as I wanted to qualify for another scholarship to stay on in USA. That I achieved not through good academic performance alone. God led a rich Christian to offer me the means to go on for my Masters degree. I met Jesus around that period and received the call to return to my home country. I returned to work and marriage. My family and I have a good twelve years living in a small town that is called a city. Now I am back in the smog and noisy metropolitan area.
There are few ladies I count as good friends. One I met after I returned from US. She also just returned from four years in UK around then. We managed to meet and spend a fair amount of time together playing tennis and jogging during the week ends. I was married about six years ahead of her. We managed to keep up our friendship until I moved to Silver City. After that move it became increasingly difficult to keep in touch. Still we visited each other at least twice a year. Then she and her husband actually helped us locate our new house before we move back to the capital city.
As the years go by I noticed that her life became more and more dictated by money. As her business did not grow yearly because of her principle to be honest and above board, she looked into immigration. She told herself that she wants free university education for all her children. For that she gave up her business and become a salaried professional in her adopted country.
I know she inherited millions of our currency after the death of her mother. So she cannot claim to be poor or in need. Perhaps the fact that she married a gold digger husband who refused to work way before retirement age did not contribute to her life goal of accumulating more wealth. Lately she told me mournfully that no matter how much she tried to add to her nest egg, money seemed to come and then frittered away.
I listened to her frustration and I do understand her disappointment. But I don't know how to tell her that this is hardly the time to build up more earthly wealth. The last thing I want to do is to hurt her already bruised feelings. Perhaps as an immigrant in Australia, it is difficult to prosper as a salaried professional. Taxes are rather high. I do know that there is a lot of tension between husband and wife over money. Just to show you the level it went to is rather ridiculous: I used to drop by their place and invite myself for lunch before they left the country. One day their maid was told off for boiling three eggs more than was ordered because I turned up unexpectedly when they were not around. I used to enjoy talking to their children then. Let us think about it: how much does an egg cost a few years back? In a retail grocery store, it may cost thirty cents. But if we buy thirty in a super market, it merely costs twenty three cents. For 69 cents, the maid was reprimanded and I was embarrassed. There after, I brought my own lunch and a share more for the children if they fancy my food.
Each time she returned from Australia, she invited me to visit. I made all kinds of excuses. But the fact is I would hardly want to bunk in her house there. It would be too expensive to eat out for three meals a day. Yet I know better than to eat her food that she and her husband so carefully rationed. So you see, her love of money and my relative lack of it is blocking the friendship from growing deeper. It does not lead to evil yet, but neither is it helpful in this sort of circumstances.
Perhaps as I grow older, I need to be increasingly be on the look out for like minded people. I would not belong with anybody who loves money. I have little to contribute and no influence to help anyone increase their stock pile. It is sad that divergent paths force people to part. That is in spite of the fact that I still like them and we shared a lot in the past. I still wish them well.
Friday, October 14, 2011
(544) Beauty
In page 227 of Human by Michael Gazzaniga, we find that babies as young as six months old prefer to look at attractive faces. And here we mean that such attractive faces are the ones that adults prefer. This effect is independent of race, gender, as well as age. This indicates an innate sense of what a human judges to be attractive. ( Langlois, Ritter, Roggman, Vaughn. 1991. Facial diversity and infant preferences for attractive faces. Developmental Psychology 27)
But what is judged to be attractive? It is found that women who are attractive are also healthy, more feminine, as well as possess higher estrogen levels to be able to reproduce better. ( Lawsmith, Perrett, Jones, Cornwell, Moore, Feinberg, Boothroyd. 2006. Facial appearance is a cue to estrogen levels in women. Proceedings of the Royal Society in London, Series B: Biological Sciences 273)
It is interesting to note that sexual selection has provided an aesthetic concept for facial attractiveness.
But what is judged to be attractive? It is found that women who are attractive are also healthy, more feminine, as well as possess higher estrogen levels to be able to reproduce better. ( Lawsmith, Perrett, Jones, Cornwell, Moore, Feinberg, Boothroyd. 2006. Facial appearance is a cue to estrogen levels in women. Proceedings of the Royal Society in London, Series B: Biological Sciences 273)
It is interesting to note that sexual selection has provided an aesthetic concept for facial attractiveness.
(543) Incest among siblings
My brother passed a book to my niece who is a psychology major: Human by Michael S. Gazzaniga. It is mentioned in Chapter 4 The Moral Compass Within that all cultures on earth have incest taboo. But where does it come from? One may say that the off springs resulted from incest stand high probability of being deformed or having genetic shortcomings. Of course communities would make those who infringe this taboo outcasts. In ancient societies, being out casts means a shorter life span. As only a group of families of a certain size could survive in the jungle. In modern societies, such taboos are enforced by law. Individuals who commit such crimes are imprisoned.
In Israeli kibbutzim, unrelated children are brought up together, they formed lifelong friendships but very rarely marry. ( Shepher, J. 1983 Incest: A Biosocial view Academic Press) Yet in Taiwan, an ancient custom called shimpua marriage where a family raises the future wife of their son from infancy. These marriages often result in no off spring. It is thought that the partners do not find each other sexually appealing. ( Wolf, A.P. 1966 Childhood association and sexual attraction. American Anthropologist 70) Interestingly my maternal uncle who is in his late seventies rejected his shimpua and married someone else.
Edward Westermarck proposed in 1891 that humans have evolved an innate mechanism whose function is to discourage incest. By his nature, a person would be uninterested in or averse to having sex with those he had spent a lot of time with as a child.
Despite all that have been mentioned, incest among siblings still occur in my country. In the newspaper we find young females found to be pregnant, where the police and welfare officials traced it to forcible rapes by elder brothers or step brothers. It is difficult to find out if such siblings have been brought up together. But it is quite apparent that such crimes are often found with parents where the father is polygamous and the mother has been divorced and remarried.
In Israeli kibbutzim, unrelated children are brought up together, they formed lifelong friendships but very rarely marry. ( Shepher, J. 1983 Incest: A Biosocial view Academic Press) Yet in Taiwan, an ancient custom called shimpua marriage where a family raises the future wife of their son from infancy. These marriages often result in no off spring. It is thought that the partners do not find each other sexually appealing. ( Wolf, A.P. 1966 Childhood association and sexual attraction. American Anthropologist 70) Interestingly my maternal uncle who is in his late seventies rejected his shimpua and married someone else.
Edward Westermarck proposed in 1891 that humans have evolved an innate mechanism whose function is to discourage incest. By his nature, a person would be uninterested in or averse to having sex with those he had spent a lot of time with as a child.
Despite all that have been mentioned, incest among siblings still occur in my country. In the newspaper we find young females found to be pregnant, where the police and welfare officials traced it to forcible rapes by elder brothers or step brothers. It is difficult to find out if such siblings have been brought up together. But it is quite apparent that such crimes are often found with parents where the father is polygamous and the mother has been divorced and remarried.
(542) Foundation by Isaac Asimov
I must state here that I am not a science fiction fan. As I have taken the trouble to borrow as many books I can transport as well as read for my children, I ventured to read science fiction when my sons were young. I read "I Robot" by the same author when my eldest was about thirteen. That was a good thirteen years ago.
Until a few months ago, if you mention Isaac Asimov, I would not know who he was. But Elizabeth talked her father into taking her to a book fair. There they purchased low priced second hand books. Among those were the Foundation series.
I find myself reading three books in two days. Apart from eating and doing house work, I did not do anything else except reading. Now I understand why it was awarded the best all time series. Whether they were read as soon as they were written or a hundred years later, any logical reader would be attracted to it. I know I would read them again and again, looking for certain details and emphasis.
Is there such a field as "psychohistory"? Would it be known under another fancy name?
Until a few months ago, if you mention Isaac Asimov, I would not know who he was. But Elizabeth talked her father into taking her to a book fair. There they purchased low priced second hand books. Among those were the Foundation series.
I find myself reading three books in two days. Apart from eating and doing house work, I did not do anything else except reading. Now I understand why it was awarded the best all time series. Whether they were read as soon as they were written or a hundred years later, any logical reader would be attracted to it. I know I would read them again and again, looking for certain details and emphasis.
Is there such a field as "psychohistory"? Would it be known under another fancy name?
(541) Pricing
There are two food stalls in two different coffee shops near where I live. One has been there for years. A man runs it with his two maids. They open it at ten thirty in the morning and it pretty much stays open until at least eight pm.
When I was working full time for a few months, I used to stop by on the way home to buy one vegetable, one tofu and one meat dish for dinner. Depending on what I choose and how much I take, it would cost me between eight to fourteen dollars two years ago. There were days I would work late, my son Michael would have to run out and buy food for the rest of the family. He chose to buy from a new stall. Food was definitely tastier from this new place. At the peak of its popularity, food would be served at four fifteen and it would be sold out by six pm.
This is a good two years after the advent of the "new" stall. On days I do not cook, I still buy from the original stall. I notice that the "new" stall does not sell out quite so early now, because of its pricing policy.
For most Chinese food stalls, they would give slight discount to regular customers. This includes my original stall. But the owner of the "new" stall is different. He gives discounts to new customers. Once a person regularly purchases food from him, he charges a higher price. For a customer who is buying his own food, it might not be much: just fifty cents or a dollar more for each meal. However, a home maker buying food for a family of six might find paying four dollars more than the normal amount daily to be stiff. I presume some home makers who initially bought from him now either choose to buy elsewhere or decide to cook more often.
When I was working full time for a few months, I used to stop by on the way home to buy one vegetable, one tofu and one meat dish for dinner. Depending on what I choose and how much I take, it would cost me between eight to fourteen dollars two years ago. There were days I would work late, my son Michael would have to run out and buy food for the rest of the family. He chose to buy from a new stall. Food was definitely tastier from this new place. At the peak of its popularity, food would be served at four fifteen and it would be sold out by six pm.
This is a good two years after the advent of the "new" stall. On days I do not cook, I still buy from the original stall. I notice that the "new" stall does not sell out quite so early now, because of its pricing policy.
For most Chinese food stalls, they would give slight discount to regular customers. This includes my original stall. But the owner of the "new" stall is different. He gives discounts to new customers. Once a person regularly purchases food from him, he charges a higher price. For a customer who is buying his own food, it might not be much: just fifty cents or a dollar more for each meal. However, a home maker buying food for a family of six might find paying four dollars more than the normal amount daily to be stiff. I presume some home makers who initially bought from him now either choose to buy elsewhere or decide to cook more often.
(540) Paid labour vs family
A good percentage of my recycled clothes go to May, a Filipino maid friend of mine. She would take my installments, wash them and store them. A few months before she returns to her home town for breaks, she would ship them back. If all go according to plan, the box would arrive on her second day home. Each of her children picks up one or two items they desire, then the villagers and relatives would each be invited to pick one item. If there is any left over after the first week, then the persistent ones would get seconds. Of course the hundreds of pieces of clothing passed over these few years are not mine, they are from friends, relatives, neighbours and church members.
May is a very blessed maid for she has very kind and fair employers. Therefore when other maid friends complain, she could hardly understand the grounds for such complaints. For instance, they grouse about eating left over food. May actually could not throw out extra food in her employers' household. She is mindful that had she stayed on in her home town, there are two months a year that her family would have no funds to buy even the basic rice for food. She voluntarily requests her Mam not to buy take away food as she wants to eat the day before's left over.
While others grumbled about having to wash one or two car each day, May washes three daily without her employers having to ask her to. She puts it this way, the clean and shiny cars are a testament to the fact that her employers have an industrious maid at home. Should the day comes for any of the cars to be serviced, Mam or Sir would tell her not to wash it. As the service center would wash it.
Still one or two of her friends are not happy that they don't get eight hours of sleep every night. May thinks that when her Mam works late, the least she could do is to keep the soup warm. May would stay up to serve her when she returns. She no longer think that she is a paid maid with certain "rights". But rather May is a member of her Mam's family. Indeed this family is blessed with a loyal helper.
May is a very blessed maid for she has very kind and fair employers. Therefore when other maid friends complain, she could hardly understand the grounds for such complaints. For instance, they grouse about eating left over food. May actually could not throw out extra food in her employers' household. She is mindful that had she stayed on in her home town, there are two months a year that her family would have no funds to buy even the basic rice for food. She voluntarily requests her Mam not to buy take away food as she wants to eat the day before's left over.
While others grumbled about having to wash one or two car each day, May washes three daily without her employers having to ask her to. She puts it this way, the clean and shiny cars are a testament to the fact that her employers have an industrious maid at home. Should the day comes for any of the cars to be serviced, Mam or Sir would tell her not to wash it. As the service center would wash it.
Still one or two of her friends are not happy that they don't get eight hours of sleep every night. May thinks that when her Mam works late, the least she could do is to keep the soup warm. May would stay up to serve her when she returns. She no longer think that she is a paid maid with certain "rights". But rather May is a member of her Mam's family. Indeed this family is blessed with a loyal helper.
(539) Why we marry
People marry for different reasons. Some say love. Others choose to go for legitimate sex. Still one or two to beget heirs. In shot gun marriages it is because of the impending birth of a child.
I am looking at Zelda. She has a fairly long list of criteria for her husband-to-be. After waiting for seventeen years, she seems to find them all in one man. But funnily, out of the love-struck eyes, she realizes that she has higher earning power than him. Next she realizes that she is smarter than him.
If you are a practising Christian, then the word "submission" would not look foreign to you. That day she asked me how a woman who is smarter and who has higher earning capacity can submit to a "lesser" man.
There can be many answers to this question. Here I offer one possible version: In the first place, if brain power and earning capability are not included in the long list, then it is obvious that they are not that important to her. Next, if she can earn well and do not mind sharing it with a hard working but not a high income earner, there is no issue. If it is going to be a partnership situation in the proposed marriage, then even the imbalance in brain power is not going to be a problem. After all, she will fore see what he can't. As long as he loves her and looks out for her, she will have sufficient influence over him.
I am looking at Zelda. She has a fairly long list of criteria for her husband-to-be. After waiting for seventeen years, she seems to find them all in one man. But funnily, out of the love-struck eyes, she realizes that she has higher earning power than him. Next she realizes that she is smarter than him.
If you are a practising Christian, then the word "submission" would not look foreign to you. That day she asked me how a woman who is smarter and who has higher earning capacity can submit to a "lesser" man.
There can be many answers to this question. Here I offer one possible version: In the first place, if brain power and earning capability are not included in the long list, then it is obvious that they are not that important to her. Next, if she can earn well and do not mind sharing it with a hard working but not a high income earner, there is no issue. If it is going to be a partnership situation in the proposed marriage, then even the imbalance in brain power is not going to be a problem. After all, she will fore see what he can't. As long as he loves her and looks out for her, she will have sufficient influence over him.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
(538) Expectations
Our emotional state depends on what kind of expectations we have. Disagree? Let us look at the following case:-
Someone who owns two houses, one in her home country and another in the adoptive country. She came back to inspect her old residence. She expected her husband to check on her house whenever he returned. She expected her brother who house sits for her to watch over her house.
Unfortunately, her brother is a bad house sitter who added more junk to the house. Unhappily, her husband either did not notice or he ignored a leak when he returned some months ago. That leak in the roof led to a warp area in the wooden flooring. White ants set in. Now she needs to engage an anti-pest outfit to treat the problem.
She chastens her brother over his negligence. She blasted her husband over his tardiness. She worked herself into a sour mood. Actually all her out-bursts would do nothing to help the situation. The house belongs to her legally. Both her brother and husband has no direct interest. They might have treated her shabbily but they don't care how she feels. Any anger, sadness, or feelings of being let down is suffered by her alone. After all, if she can choose to be thankful that she discovered the condition before the house collapses, she would feel a lot better. Moreover, she has the means to right the problem. Shouldn't she look at the brighter side of things and be grateful to God?
And most important of all, she should fly back more often for a few days each year to ascertain that her nest in this side of the world is in good condition for her eventual retirement.
Someone who owns two houses, one in her home country and another in the adoptive country. She came back to inspect her old residence. She expected her husband to check on her house whenever he returned. She expected her brother who house sits for her to watch over her house.
Unfortunately, her brother is a bad house sitter who added more junk to the house. Unhappily, her husband either did not notice or he ignored a leak when he returned some months ago. That leak in the roof led to a warp area in the wooden flooring. White ants set in. Now she needs to engage an anti-pest outfit to treat the problem.
She chastens her brother over his negligence. She blasted her husband over his tardiness. She worked herself into a sour mood. Actually all her out-bursts would do nothing to help the situation. The house belongs to her legally. Both her brother and husband has no direct interest. They might have treated her shabbily but they don't care how she feels. Any anger, sadness, or feelings of being let down is suffered by her alone. After all, if she can choose to be thankful that she discovered the condition before the house collapses, she would feel a lot better. Moreover, she has the means to right the problem. Shouldn't she look at the brighter side of things and be grateful to God?
And most important of all, she should fly back more often for a few days each year to ascertain that her nest in this side of the world is in good condition for her eventual retirement.
(537) A virtuous woman
Here we look at two elderly women. A comes from a wealthy family. B comes from a poor family. A lost her mother but her father remarried three times. B lost her father and her mother remained a widow till death.
A is well educated for her age group and is trilingual. B has had a few years of night school and is only conversant in two Chinese dialects. We would think that A should have lasting advantage over B. The truth is not so.
A spent her life working at supplying money towards overseas education for her six children. B is a homemaker with no great ambition but loyally supports her children in whatever way she can. A thinks that she is smarter and better at earning money than all her children. Thus she lords it over them. So while A in turn quarrels and finds fault with each of her children, B is in harmonious relationships with her four children.
The final attitude difference is towards mobility. A refused to believe her deformed knees require surgery. In time to come, facts overcome her strong will, she ended up in a wheel chair. B is co-operative with her Doctors and is open to dietary changes as well as food supplementation. Her children encourage her to walk every morning. She steadfastly disciplines her body over pain and weakness. In her twilight years she has excellent stamina and walking ability. Considering she has had arthritis over twenty years, she is doing very well.
I will rephrase a Confucious saying: "A woman without any money making abilities is a virtuous woman".
A is well educated for her age group and is trilingual. B has had a few years of night school and is only conversant in two Chinese dialects. We would think that A should have lasting advantage over B. The truth is not so.
A spent her life working at supplying money towards overseas education for her six children. B is a homemaker with no great ambition but loyally supports her children in whatever way she can. A thinks that she is smarter and better at earning money than all her children. Thus she lords it over them. So while A in turn quarrels and finds fault with each of her children, B is in harmonious relationships with her four children.
The final attitude difference is towards mobility. A refused to believe her deformed knees require surgery. In time to come, facts overcome her strong will, she ended up in a wheel chair. B is co-operative with her Doctors and is open to dietary changes as well as food supplementation. Her children encourage her to walk every morning. She steadfastly disciplines her body over pain and weakness. In her twilight years she has excellent stamina and walking ability. Considering she has had arthritis over twenty years, she is doing very well.
I will rephrase a Confucious saying: "A woman without any money making abilities is a virtuous woman".
(536) Transport managers
When I was living in Silver City, I used to spend a fair amount of time sitting in my friend's car. She came from UK and married a local man. Her day consists of ferrying her children to schools and other activities.
Her daughter attended the town's premier Chinese School. As far ahead as one and a half hours before dismissal time, I saw a long line of cars parked under the trees. The group of chauffeur mothers would gather and socialize. I used to wonder why they were so free. But looking at the types of cars they drove, surely none of them need do any house work. They used to be outrageously dressed for talking under the trees. Those clothes cost plenty and are more designed for afternoon tea parties.
Now that I live in the capital city, the reverse is true. Hit any well known schools in the suburbs and you will find a bunch of fathers sitting in their cars reading newspapers at least two hours before dismissal time. Interestingly the earlier Chinese school I referred to is an elementary school. But this National school I am looking at now is a high school. Nobody ought to be afraid of little children wandering off out from a high school.
Perhaps females are social animals. Males in the waiting cars on every school day are barely on nodding terms with each other. My son Michael has this theory that their wives are high power CEOs in the capital. Since the husbands could not out earn the wives, they applied for early retirements and spend their leisurely time being chauffeurs to their precious children. But what a boring life! they burn lots of petrol keeping their cars cool and probably read the local dailies from front to back.
Her daughter attended the town's premier Chinese School. As far ahead as one and a half hours before dismissal time, I saw a long line of cars parked under the trees. The group of chauffeur mothers would gather and socialize. I used to wonder why they were so free. But looking at the types of cars they drove, surely none of them need do any house work. They used to be outrageously dressed for talking under the trees. Those clothes cost plenty and are more designed for afternoon tea parties.
Now that I live in the capital city, the reverse is true. Hit any well known schools in the suburbs and you will find a bunch of fathers sitting in their cars reading newspapers at least two hours before dismissal time. Interestingly the earlier Chinese school I referred to is an elementary school. But this National school I am looking at now is a high school. Nobody ought to be afraid of little children wandering off out from a high school.
Perhaps females are social animals. Males in the waiting cars on every school day are barely on nodding terms with each other. My son Michael has this theory that their wives are high power CEOs in the capital. Since the husbands could not out earn the wives, they applied for early retirements and spend their leisurely time being chauffeurs to their precious children. But what a boring life! they burn lots of petrol keeping their cars cool and probably read the local dailies from front to back.
(535) What we become
When Elizabeth was in elementary school, there was a girl in her class who admired her. Here we are going to talk about the girl's mother, whom I'll call Abby. I will compare her to Hailey, my present neighbour.
Both Abby and Hailey come from well-to-do families. Abby's father founded a successful building supplies store while Hailey's father used to run a railway supplies center. Years ago, before automatic promotion, students who failed the Grade 9 public examination could not continue in the public schools. Both Abby and Hailey failed their Grade 9 exam. Both went on to attend Accounts courses and ended up working in the Accounts Departments of their fathers' businesses.
Abby became a Christian and married a good looking but rather poor husband. Hailey adopted a Buddhist faith with a living founder. She too picked a poor husband who happened to come from across the sea. Both Abby and Hailey have siblings who have more than one degree. Both found it difficult to get along with their respective mothers and siblings once their father passed on.
At this point the similarities ended. Hailey has a very positive attitude to life and she has made many good friends wherever she goes. Abby has a tendency to be needy and drains whoever who befriends her. When I was living within walking distance to Abby many years ago, I used to dread walking past her house. Once I was standing at her gate talking to her, it was difficult to detach and leave.
I haven't met Abby's daughter for years. From her Face book account, my daughter said that she was still running after her illusive idols. It is significant that Hailey who has accepted her lot in life has a daughter who is self-assured and is rather popular among the children of her parents' Buddhist friends.
From the comparison I see that it is not what past we have that determines our future. But rather how we accept it, make use of all we have to the best of our ability and continue to look at the positive that matters in the long run.
Both Abby and Hailey come from well-to-do families. Abby's father founded a successful building supplies store while Hailey's father used to run a railway supplies center. Years ago, before automatic promotion, students who failed the Grade 9 public examination could not continue in the public schools. Both Abby and Hailey failed their Grade 9 exam. Both went on to attend Accounts courses and ended up working in the Accounts Departments of their fathers' businesses.
Abby became a Christian and married a good looking but rather poor husband. Hailey adopted a Buddhist faith with a living founder. She too picked a poor husband who happened to come from across the sea. Both Abby and Hailey have siblings who have more than one degree. Both found it difficult to get along with their respective mothers and siblings once their father passed on.
At this point the similarities ended. Hailey has a very positive attitude to life and she has made many good friends wherever she goes. Abby has a tendency to be needy and drains whoever who befriends her. When I was living within walking distance to Abby many years ago, I used to dread walking past her house. Once I was standing at her gate talking to her, it was difficult to detach and leave.
I haven't met Abby's daughter for years. From her Face book account, my daughter said that she was still running after her illusive idols. It is significant that Hailey who has accepted her lot in life has a daughter who is self-assured and is rather popular among the children of her parents' Buddhist friends.
From the comparison I see that it is not what past we have that determines our future. But rather how we accept it, make use of all we have to the best of our ability and continue to look at the positive that matters in the long run.
(534) Linkages
For many years, I thought that my work with adults who have learning disabled past started in my capital city. Lately I realized that it was not so. What I used to term as "listening and encouraging a depressed individual" was actually sitting with and helping an adult who due to her negative experiences growing up has lost the will to deal with the complexities in life of having an abusive spouse and difficult children.
What changed my mind was what the relatives of both ladies said. The lady in Silver City is a retired accountant. Then she was so depressed that for days she could not find the energy to brush her long curly hair. I used to sit with her in public having coffee. Then on the journey back, my daughter who saw her dropping me off asked why was Auntie so and so having her shirt on inside out. One day her sister-in-law thanked me for befriending her and helping to keep her sane. As this older lady saw it, I could choose to befriend others who are neatly dressed and properly groomed. Last week, Zelda's mother said the exact same thing to me. In this case, Zelda is out of her mental oppression. She is usually beautifully turned out. But according to her mother, I could have chosen to befriend another person who does not talk so arrogantly. I did not argue with the old lady about her daughter's arrogance. Only I saw it as a defense mechanism.
For the first time in the many years I have known her, Zelda confessed that she was a hyperactive kid and has had brain concussion twice. That is not surprising considering she would climb coconut palms and even the soft trunk papaya trees for fruits. Perhaps that accounts for her selective memory. Certain things that I could recall merely falls out of the sieve in her memory center. It has puzzled me for a long time, for she is essentially an honest person: why she could conveniently forget certain events. Though she wants to confess the positive only, that day she admitted that an adult in her past would probably see her as mildly autistic as a child.
What changed my mind was what the relatives of both ladies said. The lady in Silver City is a retired accountant. Then she was so depressed that for days she could not find the energy to brush her long curly hair. I used to sit with her in public having coffee. Then on the journey back, my daughter who saw her dropping me off asked why was Auntie so and so having her shirt on inside out. One day her sister-in-law thanked me for befriending her and helping to keep her sane. As this older lady saw it, I could choose to befriend others who are neatly dressed and properly groomed. Last week, Zelda's mother said the exact same thing to me. In this case, Zelda is out of her mental oppression. She is usually beautifully turned out. But according to her mother, I could have chosen to befriend another person who does not talk so arrogantly. I did not argue with the old lady about her daughter's arrogance. Only I saw it as a defense mechanism.
For the first time in the many years I have known her, Zelda confessed that she was a hyperactive kid and has had brain concussion twice. That is not surprising considering she would climb coconut palms and even the soft trunk papaya trees for fruits. Perhaps that accounts for her selective memory. Certain things that I could recall merely falls out of the sieve in her memory center. It has puzzled me for a long time, for she is essentially an honest person: why she could conveniently forget certain events. Though she wants to confess the positive only, that day she admitted that an adult in her past would probably see her as mildly autistic as a child.
(533) Returning relative
A relative returned from Australia. She has been working there for a few years. Having to cook and do her own house work (for it is not the Australian way of life to have foreign maids), she claims to have no time to e-mail and keep in touch with friends back here.
I was surprised that she wanted to come back for more than two weeks. After all, it is either scathing hot or it rains until the low lying areas get flooded. Well, I guess if she wants to have a habitable house here to live in by 2021, she has to up keep her old abode now.
Once a person migrates, those who are left behind fall into other schedules or rhythms. At most I'll find time to chat over a meal. After that, the visitor would have to look unto others to provide companionship. If I could drop by her place at will, come and go according to my schedule; I would visit her now and again. But she said her living area is too cluttered to accommodate guests. I would rather not open my place to her day and night. I have found that once a free visitor with no fix time table sits in my place, it is extremely difficult to get her out. A few times I have to invent an appointment to shoo folks off so I can have my own time and space back. You may think I am anti social. But that is not really the point. I am social enough if I am in control of when to be with others and when to leave to return to my books.
I was surprised that she wanted to come back for more than two weeks. After all, it is either scathing hot or it rains until the low lying areas get flooded. Well, I guess if she wants to have a habitable house here to live in by 2021, she has to up keep her old abode now.
Once a person migrates, those who are left behind fall into other schedules or rhythms. At most I'll find time to chat over a meal. After that, the visitor would have to look unto others to provide companionship. If I could drop by her place at will, come and go according to my schedule; I would visit her now and again. But she said her living area is too cluttered to accommodate guests. I would rather not open my place to her day and night. I have found that once a free visitor with no fix time table sits in my place, it is extremely difficult to get her out. A few times I have to invent an appointment to shoo folks off so I can have my own time and space back. You may think I am anti social. But that is not really the point. I am social enough if I am in control of when to be with others and when to leave to return to my books.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
(532) Break throughs
If you have been reading my blog using the key word dyslexia, chances are you have read about my adult friend who supplied me with her unresolved symptoms. She came in many names, in fact she is most paranoid about being my subject in this blog. After a few years, she came to trust me enough to tell me more.
That day she told me confidentially that when she could no longer cope with any verbal abuse, she could dissociate her consciousness and step away from her body. In a way she was still standing or sitting there, but she also becomes an onlooker, thus the verbal tirade would not hurt as much.
When I told her about the Davies' Method of therapy for dyslexic children, she was visibly distressed. As I revealed more about my observation as a Home Tutor, what the mother of the target child said, and what the child himself testified about, my friend started coughing quite badly. On the one hand, it is to her advantage to know more about her condition, as knowledge would set her free. But on the other hand, she could not handle too much information at any one installment. Thus, though she is drawn to me, she could not handle listening to me for too long or too frequently. As you must have concluded by now, my pet topic is learning difficulties as a broad subject.
When I told her in detail about how my ex-student found it difficult to read, the reason was words danced around him; I saw anguish in her eyes. I realized she was getting to tread back into her landmine years. It must have been difficult! She conquered her own demons with no help whatsoever. Her salvation came in the form of English children's books. She would fail every subject except English. Some how by working triple hard, she passed major examinations. The few short term jobs she has had before she married did not work out. For one she was too disorganized to file or find documents. But as a language tutor now she is perfect. She takes students in all shapes, sizes, with all kinds of baggage and turned them into A students. In the process, she loves them, mothers those who are neglected for whatever reason. She worms her way into her students' hearts, she spoils them with attention and snacks. After a while they would work hard for her sake alone, so that she would be able to continue to earn a good living charging those well-to-do parents her rates.
After the therapy, my ex-student was able to center his attention about eight inches on top and slightly behind his head. Then with that anchored, he could read normally. For him, his point was yellow in colour. As a tutor who worked with him for at least a year before he underwent therapy, I could see him greatly improved. What I marveled at was he was installed with an activity level meter on top of his navel. The level of activity runs from 1 to 10. In order to study and absorb new things, he should tune it to 5. Most often, he bounced around at 8. It sounded like a huge imagination, yet it really worked. With reminding him about attaching his attention to his yellow point, tuning down his buoyant personality to 5, he could actually go through an exercise in English with no sweat. After a while, he no longer needed to have a special tutor and I moved onto other interesting students.
I know all these knowledge came too late for my friend the language tutor. But I am sure it helps to know that she belongs to a big group of sufferers worldwide. She was not a retard as others teased her years ago. She is not stupid as her siblings claimed. She is not crazy as her ex-husband presumed. She is just a dyslexic who made good. No mean feat! It is quite an achievement that she should be proud of!
That day she told me confidentially that when she could no longer cope with any verbal abuse, she could dissociate her consciousness and step away from her body. In a way she was still standing or sitting there, but she also becomes an onlooker, thus the verbal tirade would not hurt as much.
When I told her about the Davies' Method of therapy for dyslexic children, she was visibly distressed. As I revealed more about my observation as a Home Tutor, what the mother of the target child said, and what the child himself testified about, my friend started coughing quite badly. On the one hand, it is to her advantage to know more about her condition, as knowledge would set her free. But on the other hand, she could not handle too much information at any one installment. Thus, though she is drawn to me, she could not handle listening to me for too long or too frequently. As you must have concluded by now, my pet topic is learning difficulties as a broad subject.
When I told her in detail about how my ex-student found it difficult to read, the reason was words danced around him; I saw anguish in her eyes. I realized she was getting to tread back into her landmine years. It must have been difficult! She conquered her own demons with no help whatsoever. Her salvation came in the form of English children's books. She would fail every subject except English. Some how by working triple hard, she passed major examinations. The few short term jobs she has had before she married did not work out. For one she was too disorganized to file or find documents. But as a language tutor now she is perfect. She takes students in all shapes, sizes, with all kinds of baggage and turned them into A students. In the process, she loves them, mothers those who are neglected for whatever reason. She worms her way into her students' hearts, she spoils them with attention and snacks. After a while they would work hard for her sake alone, so that she would be able to continue to earn a good living charging those well-to-do parents her rates.
After the therapy, my ex-student was able to center his attention about eight inches on top and slightly behind his head. Then with that anchored, he could read normally. For him, his point was yellow in colour. As a tutor who worked with him for at least a year before he underwent therapy, I could see him greatly improved. What I marveled at was he was installed with an activity level meter on top of his navel. The level of activity runs from 1 to 10. In order to study and absorb new things, he should tune it to 5. Most often, he bounced around at 8. It sounded like a huge imagination, yet it really worked. With reminding him about attaching his attention to his yellow point, tuning down his buoyant personality to 5, he could actually go through an exercise in English with no sweat. After a while, he no longer needed to have a special tutor and I moved onto other interesting students.
I know all these knowledge came too late for my friend the language tutor. But I am sure it helps to know that she belongs to a big group of sufferers worldwide. She was not a retard as others teased her years ago. She is not stupid as her siblings claimed. She is not crazy as her ex-husband presumed. She is just a dyslexic who made good. No mean feat! It is quite an achievement that she should be proud of!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
(531) The Chase by Louisa M Alcott
When I was fourteen years old, we were using Little Women as our literature text. It was many years before I located Good Wives in a pile of old books in a jumble sale. I read Jo's Boys one summer in a community library in a suburban area when I was a college student in America. And it was after my children started reading that I finally read Little Men. It was not as well written as Little Women. I guess the author must be fed up about the long and drawn out tale across the generation. But readers are not to be deterred, demands must be met.
Imagine my surprise that there is another book published by her. This "new" book is totally different from the four books I have read over the years. I can't say it is better or worse, but it is difficult to imagine that such a different book is written by an author I am familiar with. This topic about obsessive love is more of a contemporary topic too. I think of Nemesis by Agatha Christie. Obsessive love kills eventually. Indeed, in these two books, "love" is a frightening thing!
Imagine my surprise that there is another book published by her. This "new" book is totally different from the four books I have read over the years. I can't say it is better or worse, but it is difficult to imagine that such a different book is written by an author I am familiar with. This topic about obsessive love is more of a contemporary topic too. I think of Nemesis by Agatha Christie. Obsessive love kills eventually. Indeed, in these two books, "love" is a frightening thing!
(530) Secrets by Freya North
It was interesting to read about house sitting. I was a student when it was both convenient and economical to house sit for friends' friend during the summer.
Here in this book, I read of professional house sitters who bring their little world with them into the house they are bound by contract to care for. That is very different from my amateur days of moving in with sufficient clothing with not much else.
Tess chose to keep her love child, that was the first step towards economic hardship. Then it did not help to have a failed business venture that left debts. It is really familiar. I have a friend who achieved financial success in her mid twenties. She had a few failed relationships and one brief marriage. Some how she kept on with a pregnancy when her partner told her to abort. When her daughter was in her teens, she failed in a daring venture and has unpaid debts since. These two years, she has been slowly clearing her debts to friends and relatives. It was a slow, tedious crawl upwards.
Joe sounded like a much broken man. His avoidance of monogamous relationship sounded like a fear to commit. It is uncanny that my friend's new face book hot friend also goes by the same moniker. Just like the story Secrets, the real live tess and joe could not walk away from each other. Of course a courtship on the internet is very different from that between a house sitter and the land lord. I was much amazed by the frequent quarrels they have had over the net.
Real life is not that different from fiction. In the book, it was ended as they live happily ever after. Although I have known a life group member who actually married her friend whom she met over the net quite a few years ago, I often wonder if such a feat could be repeated.
Here in this book, I read of professional house sitters who bring their little world with them into the house they are bound by contract to care for. That is very different from my amateur days of moving in with sufficient clothing with not much else.
Tess chose to keep her love child, that was the first step towards economic hardship. Then it did not help to have a failed business venture that left debts. It is really familiar. I have a friend who achieved financial success in her mid twenties. She had a few failed relationships and one brief marriage. Some how she kept on with a pregnancy when her partner told her to abort. When her daughter was in her teens, she failed in a daring venture and has unpaid debts since. These two years, she has been slowly clearing her debts to friends and relatives. It was a slow, tedious crawl upwards.
Joe sounded like a much broken man. His avoidance of monogamous relationship sounded like a fear to commit. It is uncanny that my friend's new face book hot friend also goes by the same moniker. Just like the story Secrets, the real live tess and joe could not walk away from each other. Of course a courtship on the internet is very different from that between a house sitter and the land lord. I was much amazed by the frequent quarrels they have had over the net.
Real life is not that different from fiction. In the book, it was ended as they live happily ever after. Although I have known a life group member who actually married her friend whom she met over the net quite a few years ago, I often wonder if such a feat could be repeated.
(529) Enigma
While waiting for university admission, Elizabeth took on coaching a student for examination. Although she made him go through work book exercises of all subjects, she specialised in teaching him mathematics. After she moved into the hostel for the academic year, I took over the task on week days.
It was interesting that I found out a few contrasting facts about him. He is fifteen years old. He spent the first six years studying in a Chinese medium school with English and the National language thrown in. Next he transitioned into a school where he did all his subjects in the National language except Maths and Science. He still studies English as a second language.
By the time Elizabeth was summoned, he was barely passing all his subjects. I was appalled by the English composition he wrote for his final exam. I was shocked by the silly and careless mistakes he made in his Maths paper one. He worked sums in his head, wrongly. He read his question in part, leaving out the line that states that the answer be presented in two decimal places. And he left questions with diagrams that look complicated, when in actual fact it was easily solved by one single observation.
Yet, when I went through his many mistakes in science, I found that he not only read faster than I. He could reason out arguments, chose two out of four statements just like that, within the time to snap his fingers. Now, that was unusual! Although I read English more slowly than Chinese, I am not a slow reader. Of course I can't compete with my son, Kenneth, who reads five, six lines at one go. I have seldom come across any college students who reads fast, let alone a fifteen year old.
His grammar could be atrocious, but once he was given sufficient points for content; the composition he wrote was quite acceptable. Surprisingly, he could summarise both in English and the National language rather well. He could pick out main points, articulate in simple sentences that fall within the word limit.
And this same boy does not read, at all. He did not read his literature book through, not even once. He could not remember reading any non-text book at all, in his entire life. After having had dedicated and interesting teachers in his first six years, he gave up not listening to any of his class teachers the last three years. There is a point that he is right, most of his current teachers probably could not even be compared to those he had when he was younger. But not to listen to a single lesson tentamount to committing academic suicide. I wonder if there are lots of boys like that within our educational system? Is that the reason why each year we have increasingly more girls who made it to government universities?
It was interesting that I found out a few contrasting facts about him. He is fifteen years old. He spent the first six years studying in a Chinese medium school with English and the National language thrown in. Next he transitioned into a school where he did all his subjects in the National language except Maths and Science. He still studies English as a second language.
By the time Elizabeth was summoned, he was barely passing all his subjects. I was appalled by the English composition he wrote for his final exam. I was shocked by the silly and careless mistakes he made in his Maths paper one. He worked sums in his head, wrongly. He read his question in part, leaving out the line that states that the answer be presented in two decimal places. And he left questions with diagrams that look complicated, when in actual fact it was easily solved by one single observation.
Yet, when I went through his many mistakes in science, I found that he not only read faster than I. He could reason out arguments, chose two out of four statements just like that, within the time to snap his fingers. Now, that was unusual! Although I read English more slowly than Chinese, I am not a slow reader. Of course I can't compete with my son, Kenneth, who reads five, six lines at one go. I have seldom come across any college students who reads fast, let alone a fifteen year old.
His grammar could be atrocious, but once he was given sufficient points for content; the composition he wrote was quite acceptable. Surprisingly, he could summarise both in English and the National language rather well. He could pick out main points, articulate in simple sentences that fall within the word limit.
And this same boy does not read, at all. He did not read his literature book through, not even once. He could not remember reading any non-text book at all, in his entire life. After having had dedicated and interesting teachers in his first six years, he gave up not listening to any of his class teachers the last three years. There is a point that he is right, most of his current teachers probably could not even be compared to those he had when he was younger. But not to listen to a single lesson tentamount to committing academic suicide. I wonder if there are lots of boys like that within our educational system? Is that the reason why each year we have increasingly more girls who made it to government universities?
(528) Phantoms by Dean Koontz
It is fiction that tied in with age old unexplained mysteries. Looking at those beautifully built monuments that were left to be reclaimed by nature, I have wondered what exactly exterminated such a distinct ancient civilisation in South America. We know that the Spanish had waged war successfully for decades, but that would not explain a hill top city that was both deserted, unknown and abandoned.
Koontz wove such mystery into modern day doomsday in a town called Snowfield in California. Here the police, the Governor, the army and the press were involved. Where unexplained deaths occurred, autopsies were performed. Scientists in space suits carried out their tests determining if it was chemical or biological weapons. Even specialists in outer space alien theory were invited to be present. Here the author built the image of an invincible monster. Almost, but not quite! The ego of the monster turned itself into an object to be examined. That in turn revealed its vulnerability. The desire for glory determined that the monster wanted an author to document its power. That bought time for the biologist to import an item which might destroy the monster.
After the monster was killed, it went on to show us that the two human followers of the creature were overcome by fire power while they tried to carry out more murders. As in traditional tales, the two heroes were rewarded by finding their soul mates. I felt like I was sitting by the fire side listening to the end of an exciting epic poem.
It is a well written book. However, it is unlikely I would read it again. My friend who lent me the book seemed to think differently. She had given me better books for recycling but she wanted this one back. Interesting!
Koontz wove such mystery into modern day doomsday in a town called Snowfield in California. Here the police, the Governor, the army and the press were involved. Where unexplained deaths occurred, autopsies were performed. Scientists in space suits carried out their tests determining if it was chemical or biological weapons. Even specialists in outer space alien theory were invited to be present. Here the author built the image of an invincible monster. Almost, but not quite! The ego of the monster turned itself into an object to be examined. That in turn revealed its vulnerability. The desire for glory determined that the monster wanted an author to document its power. That bought time for the biologist to import an item which might destroy the monster.
After the monster was killed, it went on to show us that the two human followers of the creature were overcome by fire power while they tried to carry out more murders. As in traditional tales, the two heroes were rewarded by finding their soul mates. I felt like I was sitting by the fire side listening to the end of an exciting epic poem.
It is a well written book. However, it is unlikely I would read it again. My friend who lent me the book seemed to think differently. She had given me better books for recycling but she wanted this one back. Interesting!
Friday, September 9, 2011
(527) Visiting
Over the festive days, we visited Elizabeth's former Vice Principal. Since we left Silver City, we have been visiting her family most years. Last year we went to enjoy her asam laksa on the first day of Moslem Year after Ramadan. We were really entertained by the stories of her son and daughter-in-law's exotic green lizard from South America. The year before, we sat in her sitting room looking at the bridal pictures of her son's wedding. This year, the beautiful bride has put on some weight, she looks like the wife of a prosperous restaurant owner.
The Vice Principal did not change much. After retiring from Government teaching, she joined the local International School. She kept house. She pampered her plants. She is a teacher to be reckoned with. Elizabeth is a very fortunate girl to go to a mission school with many serious teachers like this Vice Principal. Even though my country's educational system has turned to gear itself towards churning out A's, there are still a few schools where we find teachers who are dedicated and really educate the children.
Now that a person is measured in terms of the house she owns and the car she drives, we need to nurture more teachers who are called to teach. The salary alone may attract the wrong type of people. We need teachers who are there to make a difference. In my church, I am beginning to see the answers to our prayers for Godly teachers. There are a few youth training themselves to teach. May this trickle multiply many folds!
The Vice Principal did not change much. After retiring from Government teaching, she joined the local International School. She kept house. She pampered her plants. She is a teacher to be reckoned with. Elizabeth is a very fortunate girl to go to a mission school with many serious teachers like this Vice Principal. Even though my country's educational system has turned to gear itself towards churning out A's, there are still a few schools where we find teachers who are dedicated and really educate the children.
Now that a person is measured in terms of the house she owns and the car she drives, we need to nurture more teachers who are called to teach. The salary alone may attract the wrong type of people. We need teachers who are there to make a difference. In my church, I am beginning to see the answers to our prayers for Godly teachers. There are a few youth training themselves to teach. May this trickle multiply many folds!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
(526) Starting University
I just sent Elizabeth off to Uni with her father. It was interesting looking at the many parents who went to attend the talks given by the Uni officials. The roads to the hostels were bumper to bumper. We parked as directed and walked for a good fifteen minutes to get to her hostel.
Once she was registered, we climbed to her room and found two girls and their mothers cleaning the room. One mom actually brought a vacuum cleaner and was hoovering the dusty mattress. I left Elizabeth with her rags and her room mate's pail. High time she learns to be independent.
On the way back, I saw the only luxurious big model car with a well endowed girl and her entourage. They were carrying about fifty outfits of silk formal wear in crisp plastic covers out of the enormous boot. Well! Good luck with the closet that was about fourteen inches wide. Not unless she can persuade the hostel staff to let her pay triple the fee and kick out two other students. Space is a premium, a single bed, a double decker and a regular closet divided into three sections fitted in a room no bigger than fourteen by eleven feet. I did not even notice if there are any study desks. If there is, they must be mini desks.
I am very thankful she was accepted. With the low tuition there is no need for her to take a study loan. She will be one of the few graduates in a few years' time that will be debt free. Primitive as her living conditions will be, she will be a lot more comfortable than the children in any refugee camps. If she can live in harmony in such an environment with two room mates, chances are she would do well with any difficult co-workers in the future.
Once she was registered, we climbed to her room and found two girls and their mothers cleaning the room. One mom actually brought a vacuum cleaner and was hoovering the dusty mattress. I left Elizabeth with her rags and her room mate's pail. High time she learns to be independent.
On the way back, I saw the only luxurious big model car with a well endowed girl and her entourage. They were carrying about fifty outfits of silk formal wear in crisp plastic covers out of the enormous boot. Well! Good luck with the closet that was about fourteen inches wide. Not unless she can persuade the hostel staff to let her pay triple the fee and kick out two other students. Space is a premium, a single bed, a double decker and a regular closet divided into three sections fitted in a room no bigger than fourteen by eleven feet. I did not even notice if there are any study desks. If there is, they must be mini desks.
I am very thankful she was accepted. With the low tuition there is no need for her to take a study loan. She will be one of the few graduates in a few years' time that will be debt free. Primitive as her living conditions will be, she will be a lot more comfortable than the children in any refugee camps. If she can live in harmony in such an environment with two room mates, chances are she would do well with any difficult co-workers in the future.
(525) At the Altar by L.M. Montgomery
I just came back from my neighbour's house. While one sister is planning a spring wedding with her American boy friend, the other sister's relationship came to a stand still. Reason: boy friend's mom.
The situation reminded me of "The Wooing of Bessy" in At the Altar. In the story, the mother of Lawrence Eastman contrived to cause a quarrel between her son and his girl friend. She not only lied but put the blame on another person.
My neighbour was doing well with the boy friend's mom until one daughter came for a visit from New Zealand. For all we know, the visitor was the mischief maker. It seemed to me that if the prospective mom-in-law trusted her enough to seek her help in remitting funds from Thailand, it was most surprising that once the daughter returned to New Zealand, she was no longer welcome in the old lady's house.
In the story, true love triumphed as Lawrence went and checked to see if his mom told the truth. In real life, if a forty-five-year-old man is still tied to his mom's apron strings, I don't think my neighbour should cry over losing him!
The situation reminded me of "The Wooing of Bessy" in At the Altar. In the story, the mother of Lawrence Eastman contrived to cause a quarrel between her son and his girl friend. She not only lied but put the blame on another person.
My neighbour was doing well with the boy friend's mom until one daughter came for a visit from New Zealand. For all we know, the visitor was the mischief maker. It seemed to me that if the prospective mom-in-law trusted her enough to seek her help in remitting funds from Thailand, it was most surprising that once the daughter returned to New Zealand, she was no longer welcome in the old lady's house.
In the story, true love triumphed as Lawrence went and checked to see if his mom told the truth. In real life, if a forty-five-year-old man is still tied to his mom's apron strings, I don't think my neighbour should cry over losing him!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
(524) P.Jackson & Olympians by Rick Riordan
One day my old school buddy who is a pre-Christian asked Elizabeth if she had seen any Harry Porter movies or read any of the series. My daughter's answer was I advised her not to read it when she was young. Now that she is an adult, she has lost the desire to read or watch any of them.
To be fair to my children, I did not either. Not that if I read any of those books, they would shake my beliefs. My stand now is my adult children are welcome to read them or watch the movies if they really want to.
By borrowing from two friends, Elizabeth and I read the "Eragon" series. We enjoyed them tremendously as folk tales. Perhaps there were former worlds where dragons were present. Perhaps not! But the important thing is we are living in our present world where we only see dragon dance during Chinese New Year celebrations.
Lately I have access to Riordan's series. I can assure you I spent many hours reading happily. Here I will record their names: The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, The Titan's Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth, and The Last Olympian.
It may seem strange that a woman of my age with much grey hair is reading what some may consider as children's books. Well, I am still trying to catch up with the years when I was speaking, thinking and dreaming in Mandarin. I read my first English book with the help of my trusty English-Chinese dictionary when I was fourteen. I only managed to source and finish reading the Famous Five series when I was eighteen years old. All I can remember about the Greek Mythologies was a simplified reader I plow through in the dim past. Since then I have found lots of contradictory references to it in numerous books and magazine articles. A few years ago, I learned a little more of it from Agatha Christie's The Labour of Hercules.
I thought the authors or the historians got all mixed up over Greek mythologies. It was not until Riordan pointed out in his series that there was a Titan's age and then an Olympian age that I began to see that many sets of players fought for power over thousands of years. It sounded like the dynasties in China. The only difference is that the Chinese killed everyone connected with the deposed Emperor. The Olympians cannot kill their predecessors for good because they were supposed to be immortal. I wonder how much was related in the mythologies and how much was made up by Riordan.
The fact that Percy chose to remain a mortal so he would not outlive Annabeth made the series an Adventure love story. In a way it is a happy ending. The irresponsible Olympians were bound by oath for a time to acknowledge their half-blood off-springs and bring them to the training camp. It was good to have the population of the camp increase. It sounded like in the ancient days where angels took human females and begot children who become the heroes of old.
To be fair to my children, I did not either. Not that if I read any of those books, they would shake my beliefs. My stand now is my adult children are welcome to read them or watch the movies if they really want to.
By borrowing from two friends, Elizabeth and I read the "Eragon" series. We enjoyed them tremendously as folk tales. Perhaps there were former worlds where dragons were present. Perhaps not! But the important thing is we are living in our present world where we only see dragon dance during Chinese New Year celebrations.
Lately I have access to Riordan's series. I can assure you I spent many hours reading happily. Here I will record their names: The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, The Titan's Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth, and The Last Olympian.
It may seem strange that a woman of my age with much grey hair is reading what some may consider as children's books. Well, I am still trying to catch up with the years when I was speaking, thinking and dreaming in Mandarin. I read my first English book with the help of my trusty English-Chinese dictionary when I was fourteen. I only managed to source and finish reading the Famous Five series when I was eighteen years old. All I can remember about the Greek Mythologies was a simplified reader I plow through in the dim past. Since then I have found lots of contradictory references to it in numerous books and magazine articles. A few years ago, I learned a little more of it from Agatha Christie's The Labour of Hercules.
I thought the authors or the historians got all mixed up over Greek mythologies. It was not until Riordan pointed out in his series that there was a Titan's age and then an Olympian age that I began to see that many sets of players fought for power over thousands of years. It sounded like the dynasties in China. The only difference is that the Chinese killed everyone connected with the deposed Emperor. The Olympians cannot kill their predecessors for good because they were supposed to be immortal. I wonder how much was related in the mythologies and how much was made up by Riordan.
The fact that Percy chose to remain a mortal so he would not outlive Annabeth made the series an Adventure love story. In a way it is a happy ending. The irresponsible Olympians were bound by oath for a time to acknowledge their half-blood off-springs and bring them to the training camp. It was good to have the population of the camp increase. It sounded like in the ancient days where angels took human females and begot children who become the heroes of old.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
(523) Total shut down
For anyone who is reading my blog for the first time, a little background. I was probably born dyslexic with some gifts in-built for learning Chinese. At age twelve I chose to confront English and at great cost I struggled to be acceptably proficient in it. At age twenty one I lived for a while with a full blown dyslexic boy eleven years old. It was through looking at him that I realized that I must have been somewhat dyslexic when I was young. After my marriage I ventured into teaching remedial English to college students. By the time my youngest was three I stumbled into special education as a home tutor. When my youngest was fourteen, I met a few women who must have been learning disabled to whatever degree. I am still in touch with some of them today.
This blog is written to compare two of the women I have attempted to help. I met both through my old school mate. A little about this old friend, she has a child who was diagnosed dyslexic. While I self diagnosed myself, she was blissfully busy with her college, boy friend and later career and business. I worked, prayed and planned on early intervention for my children. They were more or less normal by the time they reached school age. My old friend had a hard time struggling with her boy, from age seven until he was seventeen. She met Annabel through her kindergarten hunt and Zelda as a car pool mum.
Both Annabel and Zelda are capable women. They both are very attractive to men. Annabel is still single in her forties, but not because she lacks faithful suitors. She is very good at keeping her many ex-boyfriends as close friends. Zelda, on the other hand, has a disastrous marriage when she was much younger. She, too, is swinging single and attracting men like flies.
Both of them told me they have worked themselves until total physical break downs. Annabel would spend four day week-ends resting. All she could do was eat whatever was in the house, sleep and go to the toilet before returning to bed. She would give her all either to her corporate boss or her own business venture. From what she said she has no switch to lower her speed of working. It was either going at full speed or total break down for a few days of recuperation. That year that I hung out with her, I knew of two break downs.
Zelda has a tendency to be anaemic. She regularly complained about being very tired. Of course she gets run down, being on line and working at her data base at all hours. One day I met her at four pm and her hands shake - low blood sugar. All she had eaten was two bananas and a cup of coffee. She had spent hours searching for information and been on the phone continually since nine am talking to clients.
I am beginning to wonder if it is the case that both strived extremely hard to overcome their respective disabilities. So much so that both of them over compensated. They both achieved a great deal: Annabel, with Cambridge level education, was earning something like $16,000 as a team manager in a financial institution in the early eighties. Zelda, who runs her own manufacturing operation in her mid twenties, was having an average income of $20,000 - $30,000 monthly. Zelda did not have the means to further her education at age 16.
I thank God that I have slowed down. My hard working husband kept the family afloat. It is thanks to him that I have the leisure to ponder much to jot down thoughts on this blog. I am also blessed with supportive children. I hope that by sharing these observations, it will help you in some way or other in understanding my favourite group of people: those who have to work very hard to fit into regular society.
This blog is written to compare two of the women I have attempted to help. I met both through my old school mate. A little about this old friend, she has a child who was diagnosed dyslexic. While I self diagnosed myself, she was blissfully busy with her college, boy friend and later career and business. I worked, prayed and planned on early intervention for my children. They were more or less normal by the time they reached school age. My old friend had a hard time struggling with her boy, from age seven until he was seventeen. She met Annabel through her kindergarten hunt and Zelda as a car pool mum.
Both Annabel and Zelda are capable women. They both are very attractive to men. Annabel is still single in her forties, but not because she lacks faithful suitors. She is very good at keeping her many ex-boyfriends as close friends. Zelda, on the other hand, has a disastrous marriage when she was much younger. She, too, is swinging single and attracting men like flies.
Both of them told me they have worked themselves until total physical break downs. Annabel would spend four day week-ends resting. All she could do was eat whatever was in the house, sleep and go to the toilet before returning to bed. She would give her all either to her corporate boss or her own business venture. From what she said she has no switch to lower her speed of working. It was either going at full speed or total break down for a few days of recuperation. That year that I hung out with her, I knew of two break downs.
Zelda has a tendency to be anaemic. She regularly complained about being very tired. Of course she gets run down, being on line and working at her data base at all hours. One day I met her at four pm and her hands shake - low blood sugar. All she had eaten was two bananas and a cup of coffee. She had spent hours searching for information and been on the phone continually since nine am talking to clients.
I am beginning to wonder if it is the case that both strived extremely hard to overcome their respective disabilities. So much so that both of them over compensated. They both achieved a great deal: Annabel, with Cambridge level education, was earning something like $16,000 as a team manager in a financial institution in the early eighties. Zelda, who runs her own manufacturing operation in her mid twenties, was having an average income of $20,000 - $30,000 monthly. Zelda did not have the means to further her education at age 16.
I thank God that I have slowed down. My hard working husband kept the family afloat. It is thanks to him that I have the leisure to ponder much to jot down thoughts on this blog. I am also blessed with supportive children. I hope that by sharing these observations, it will help you in some way or other in understanding my favourite group of people: those who have to work very hard to fit into regular society.
Monday, August 29, 2011
(522) Directionally challenged n bruises
I was sitting in my friend's car. We were talking about this and that. Suddenly she asked me if I know the shortest way home from where we were at that moment. I actually know where we were. We were a road away from Elizabeth's piano teacher's residence. But since she has been driving herself to piano lessons for at least two years, I cannot remember the way we normally drive home from there. But please note I was not lost, perhaps I would take a circuit around the entire housing area, I would be able to get home after burning a little extra gas.
She could relate to that. After all, when I encouraged her to take up driving again and buy herself a car to get around in, she claimed that she has the world's worst sense of direction. This is like two years later, she has come a long way. She gets around on her own. When she is not confident about going to certain places, she uses the GPS. After all, neither of us need to earn a living as taxi drivers. We can certainly survive pretty well with our limited sense of direction.
That was when she confessed that although she has lived in the same apartment for the past four years, she still knocks her shin or her elbow against her bedroom door frame. Now that was an interesting piece of information! I can't say I have the problem now. But for years and years I would have to contend with blue blacks (bruises) that I have no idea when I hurt myself. My deceased grandma used to laugh and say that I got pinched by ghosts in my dreams. No! I have no hematological problems. I see Elizabeth rubbing her unexplained bruises with Counterpain just two nights ago, it is almost a weekly event. If she is stressed and has a full schedule, it happens more often.
My husband, my brothers, my parents and Elizabeth's siblings do not have this problem. Since Elizabeth was seven, we have been having her friend, Cassandra, home with us often. Cassandra used to be much worse at that point of time, she knocked into furniture, door, cars, and even walls if the passage way is narrow. Over time Cassandra improved. I must ask her about this the next time I see her. Wonder if she is like Elizabeth, now and then having the same problem, or has gotten over it like me. Or Cassandra suffers it in a chronic way like my friend. I know it is not funny. But what can one do when she has this kind of funny problem, other than having a good laugh over it! I don't think anyone would go to the hospital and look up the relevant specialist over a mundane and non-threatening problem like this. I do know that it indicates that one part of the brain is not functioning as it should. Well! My friend is already in her forties. She actually earns very well teaching students weak in English. We both know that she has made a strong point out of her weaknesses. If she had not suffered in school over whatever difficulties over all subjects except English, she would not end up being such a good tutor to all types of students.
I am an armchair special education hobbyist. I think my friend, Cassandra, Elizabeth and I all display one specific symptom of dyslexia. I might have been blessed with a brain wired for the Chinese language, but I was and still is foolhardy enough to keep working on my shadow area(weakest subject). My friend has been taken for a fool by her beloved. She has been taken for a ride as well as he divorced her when she stopped obeying him and fought back. Cassandra is very blessed as her current boy friend (very first and hopefully they would marry) loves her enough to take over all cleaning duties. You see, her skin breaks up after coming into contact with detergent. I have skin almost as bad but it still tolerates certain brands after dilution. Elizabeth is having a whale of a time: she is shouldering a normal college load while juggling a few hats in church, she just signed up for a major role in the Christmas play that would entail many hours of practice. Boy friends are pretty far from the normal list of things on her mind.
She could relate to that. After all, when I encouraged her to take up driving again and buy herself a car to get around in, she claimed that she has the world's worst sense of direction. This is like two years later, she has come a long way. She gets around on her own. When she is not confident about going to certain places, she uses the GPS. After all, neither of us need to earn a living as taxi drivers. We can certainly survive pretty well with our limited sense of direction.
That was when she confessed that although she has lived in the same apartment for the past four years, she still knocks her shin or her elbow against her bedroom door frame. Now that was an interesting piece of information! I can't say I have the problem now. But for years and years I would have to contend with blue blacks (bruises) that I have no idea when I hurt myself. My deceased grandma used to laugh and say that I got pinched by ghosts in my dreams. No! I have no hematological problems. I see Elizabeth rubbing her unexplained bruises with Counterpain just two nights ago, it is almost a weekly event. If she is stressed and has a full schedule, it happens more often.
My husband, my brothers, my parents and Elizabeth's siblings do not have this problem. Since Elizabeth was seven, we have been having her friend, Cassandra, home with us often. Cassandra used to be much worse at that point of time, she knocked into furniture, door, cars, and even walls if the passage way is narrow. Over time Cassandra improved. I must ask her about this the next time I see her. Wonder if she is like Elizabeth, now and then having the same problem, or has gotten over it like me. Or Cassandra suffers it in a chronic way like my friend. I know it is not funny. But what can one do when she has this kind of funny problem, other than having a good laugh over it! I don't think anyone would go to the hospital and look up the relevant specialist over a mundane and non-threatening problem like this. I do know that it indicates that one part of the brain is not functioning as it should. Well! My friend is already in her forties. She actually earns very well teaching students weak in English. We both know that she has made a strong point out of her weaknesses. If she had not suffered in school over whatever difficulties over all subjects except English, she would not end up being such a good tutor to all types of students.
I am an armchair special education hobbyist. I think my friend, Cassandra, Elizabeth and I all display one specific symptom of dyslexia. I might have been blessed with a brain wired for the Chinese language, but I was and still is foolhardy enough to keep working on my shadow area(weakest subject). My friend has been taken for a fool by her beloved. She has been taken for a ride as well as he divorced her when she stopped obeying him and fought back. Cassandra is very blessed as her current boy friend (very first and hopefully they would marry) loves her enough to take over all cleaning duties. You see, her skin breaks up after coming into contact with detergent. I have skin almost as bad but it still tolerates certain brands after dilution. Elizabeth is having a whale of a time: she is shouldering a normal college load while juggling a few hats in church, she just signed up for a major role in the Christmas play that would entail many hours of practice. Boy friends are pretty far from the normal list of things on her mind.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
(521) Upbringing 54
Remember Elizabeth's applications to universities? She was accepted into my old university with partial financial aid. She was rejected by the university in China. And she was accepted by a local university less than 50 Km from where we live.
Actually, if we were to scrape together every dollar we own we can afford to send her to USA this year. But if we do that, there is no certainty that we could raise the required amount for the next three years. After all, the main part of our contribution came as an outright gift which would not be repeated. So what my brother commented about USA came true: the financial melt down did affect foreign scholarships. If Elizabeth is a decisive and quick to adapt person, I may send her with the intention of transfer to a state university within one year. But as it is, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. It is prudent to take the local offer which costs a fraction of what we have to pay in USA. Here the government subsidized the students heavily. The entire degree would cost only a fifth of what we were to pay for the first year of a USA education.
Despite the rejection of the university in China, Elizabeth was still on the waiting list when she checked the web site. Now I wonder if she would go if the late offer does come, once she settles down. Of course the chance of being selected in the second or third intake is slim. After all, there were fourteen hundred applications for limited places. But I suppose all things are possible if God is willing.
We will wait and see what happens next. I am still holding a suitcase full of winter clothing, wondering why God gave it to us so providentially three years ago when we prayed about a scholarship which would enable her to study pre-university abroad. She did not win the scholarship but the lovely cloths remained. I am still waiting to see why the clothes came, surely there must be a good reason. God never make mistakes.
Actually, if we were to scrape together every dollar we own we can afford to send her to USA this year. But if we do that, there is no certainty that we could raise the required amount for the next three years. After all, the main part of our contribution came as an outright gift which would not be repeated. So what my brother commented about USA came true: the financial melt down did affect foreign scholarships. If Elizabeth is a decisive and quick to adapt person, I may send her with the intention of transfer to a state university within one year. But as it is, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. It is prudent to take the local offer which costs a fraction of what we have to pay in USA. Here the government subsidized the students heavily. The entire degree would cost only a fifth of what we were to pay for the first year of a USA education.
Despite the rejection of the university in China, Elizabeth was still on the waiting list when she checked the web site. Now I wonder if she would go if the late offer does come, once she settles down. Of course the chance of being selected in the second or third intake is slim. After all, there were fourteen hundred applications for limited places. But I suppose all things are possible if God is willing.
We will wait and see what happens next. I am still holding a suitcase full of winter clothing, wondering why God gave it to us so providentially three years ago when we prayed about a scholarship which would enable her to study pre-university abroad. She did not win the scholarship but the lovely cloths remained. I am still waiting to see why the clothes came, surely there must be a good reason. God never make mistakes.
(520) The perfect mate for Zelda
There is a friend whom I have been listening and encouraging for the past five years. She prayed for a husband and has a long list of criteria. I never consciously take notes as I am not a trained staff. But I can certainly rattle off her list off hand.
1. The guy must be tall, at least five nine.
2. He must have a clear missionary call.
3. He must be obedient to God.
4. He must be single, or divorced with no woman claiming him, or widowed
5. Preferably be musically inclined.
6. Preferably be gifted with tongues and spiritual gifts, presently serving in his local church.
7. He is to lead, not to follow her
8. He should not be over weight
9. She would be pleased with his appearance.
10. He should not be more than five years older than her
Out of a tough list of ten, I must say that her present intended whom she got to know through the internet has nine of her criteria. The only one not perfectly matched is number eight. Yet looking at his photo, I cannot say that he is fat. If he loses 5-8 kilo, he should have an acceptable B.M.I. for a six footer with a big frame.
Looking at the situation, I am of the opinion that there can be perfect candidates, but I think both husband and wife have to work at being the perfect mates for each other. There is no such thing as the perfect husband that is born for a particular woman.
Please read (749),(361), (383), (401), (487), (994), (9)
1. The guy must be tall, at least five nine.
2. He must have a clear missionary call.
3. He must be obedient to God.
4. He must be single, or divorced with no woman claiming him, or widowed
5. Preferably be musically inclined.
6. Preferably be gifted with tongues and spiritual gifts, presently serving in his local church.
7. He is to lead, not to follow her
8. He should not be over weight
9. She would be pleased with his appearance.
10. He should not be more than five years older than her
Out of a tough list of ten, I must say that her present intended whom she got to know through the internet has nine of her criteria. The only one not perfectly matched is number eight. Yet looking at his photo, I cannot say that he is fat. If he loses 5-8 kilo, he should have an acceptable B.M.I. for a six footer with a big frame.
Looking at the situation, I am of the opinion that there can be perfect candidates, but I think both husband and wife have to work at being the perfect mates for each other. There is no such thing as the perfect husband that is born for a particular woman.
Please read (749),(361), (383), (401), (487), (994), (9)
(519) Morning sickness
A young wife is in the family way. She was often sick. One moment she was talking in a most lethargic way, the next she was running to the rest room to throw up.
One day she commented how her friends never throw up throughout the nine months. I happened to disagree that it was a good thing, this nauseous feeling: it indicated that the foetus was digging deeper and getting a firmer hold onto the lining of the womb. The one pregnancy I had had no vomiting almost ended in a miscarriage.
The first trimester passed very fast. She is once again healthy and herself. She related to Elizabeth how she was fed up with many people who told her she imagined the whole nauseous business. Others told her she did not eat the right things, or she did the wrong things. I was the only one who could explain to her nature's way of ensuring that this particular pregnancy would result in a lively, lovely baby. Thank God that there is a logical explanation if we look for it.
One day she commented how her friends never throw up throughout the nine months. I happened to disagree that it was a good thing, this nauseous feeling: it indicated that the foetus was digging deeper and getting a firmer hold onto the lining of the womb. The one pregnancy I had had no vomiting almost ended in a miscarriage.
The first trimester passed very fast. She is once again healthy and herself. She related to Elizabeth how she was fed up with many people who told her she imagined the whole nauseous business. Others told her she did not eat the right things, or she did the wrong things. I was the only one who could explain to her nature's way of ensuring that this particular pregnancy would result in a lively, lovely baby. Thank God that there is a logical explanation if we look for it.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
(518) Immigration
A few days ago my daughter, Elizabeth, went to a farewell meal to send off a young friend. The girl and her family were going to migrate to Canada.
I had a few idle thoughts about this family. I wonder where exactly they are migrating to. If it is to Vancouver, property prices are sky high. Elsewhere, it must be pretty cold most of the year. As I saw this teenager grows, she seems to be dressing in clothing that requires less and less cloth to make. Perhaps she would have to try a different tack to be fashionable in a temperate climate. After all, in our tropical weather, it is really advantageous to expose more skin. It is truly more sensible to wear a pair of micro mini shorts and a tank top than the Muslim hijab ensemble.
Her parents were both successful business people. Her mum owns a chain of eight stores. Her dad also runs a chain of restaurants. When they pull up their stake and venture to half the globe away, they would have to start all over again. It must be quite a challenge to deal with a completely different set of climate, geography, people, culture, custom, languages ...
What I remember about the girl's mum is that she was impressed by Elizabeth's skills and charm in dealing with her and her daughter as a youth leader. She asked and was pointed out to me as Elizabeth's mum. I could see that she was visibly disappointed. And of course she could detect no resemblance between us, Elizabeth takes after her dad's family. I was dressed in such a way that no fashion conscious person would notice me nor would anyone look at me a second time. I could have been outstanding once as a student. Now you would wonder if I have slaved in the kitchen all of my life.
What attracted her most to Elizabeth was the respect and esteem my daughter exudes while talking to her. While you may think that could be in born, I have personally experienced that most of what was found in my children took years to cultivate. I can't just issue orders and expect to be obeyed. It takes "modeling", I must display equal respect to people from all walks of life in order for her to catch it. For little quirks I don't like, it took years to chip away. It was in reading "The Little Prince" that finally caused Elizabeth to realize that after everything was taken away: gold, ruby and diamonds, he was just an ordinary statue. Similarly, if youth, beauty and being witty are taken away, Elizabeth would be an ordinary person. Youth passes very fast, beauty fades, wit actually comes from God. What endures are qualities like kindness, love, mercy, compassion, faith, loyalty ... One day in her fifteenth year she decided that she better develop those qualities while she was young and popular. As her inborn God given qualities would not last into old age. And she did not want to be like our neighbour who was once pretty but was fading away fast in her forties. What remained was a rather self-centered person who would rather die young than to be old and ugly.
The young girl we have been discussing is rather rebellious and think that her parents are her kill joys. She pouts, she sulks, she hides things from her family and think they do not want her to be happy. Despite all their wealth and success, she is not a happy nor contented person. I am surprised that she likes Elizabeth and wants to spend time with my daughter. Interestingly both mother and daughter agree about Elizabeth. Both like and trust Elizabeth.
I certainly hope that in going to another country, the difficulty in adjusting will turn out to be a blessing for this young girl. Maturity will find her faster in the midst of change. May she become self-assured in the process. Adjustment can bind the family closer together. Difficulties breed character. May she find her centre in the new world and be happy and contented.
I had a few idle thoughts about this family. I wonder where exactly they are migrating to. If it is to Vancouver, property prices are sky high. Elsewhere, it must be pretty cold most of the year. As I saw this teenager grows, she seems to be dressing in clothing that requires less and less cloth to make. Perhaps she would have to try a different tack to be fashionable in a temperate climate. After all, in our tropical weather, it is really advantageous to expose more skin. It is truly more sensible to wear a pair of micro mini shorts and a tank top than the Muslim hijab ensemble.
Her parents were both successful business people. Her mum owns a chain of eight stores. Her dad also runs a chain of restaurants. When they pull up their stake and venture to half the globe away, they would have to start all over again. It must be quite a challenge to deal with a completely different set of climate, geography, people, culture, custom, languages ...
What I remember about the girl's mum is that she was impressed by Elizabeth's skills and charm in dealing with her and her daughter as a youth leader. She asked and was pointed out to me as Elizabeth's mum. I could see that she was visibly disappointed. And of course she could detect no resemblance between us, Elizabeth takes after her dad's family. I was dressed in such a way that no fashion conscious person would notice me nor would anyone look at me a second time. I could have been outstanding once as a student. Now you would wonder if I have slaved in the kitchen all of my life.
What attracted her most to Elizabeth was the respect and esteem my daughter exudes while talking to her. While you may think that could be in born, I have personally experienced that most of what was found in my children took years to cultivate. I can't just issue orders and expect to be obeyed. It takes "modeling", I must display equal respect to people from all walks of life in order for her to catch it. For little quirks I don't like, it took years to chip away. It was in reading "The Little Prince" that finally caused Elizabeth to realize that after everything was taken away: gold, ruby and diamonds, he was just an ordinary statue. Similarly, if youth, beauty and being witty are taken away, Elizabeth would be an ordinary person. Youth passes very fast, beauty fades, wit actually comes from God. What endures are qualities like kindness, love, mercy, compassion, faith, loyalty ... One day in her fifteenth year she decided that she better develop those qualities while she was young and popular. As her inborn God given qualities would not last into old age. And she did not want to be like our neighbour who was once pretty but was fading away fast in her forties. What remained was a rather self-centered person who would rather die young than to be old and ugly.
The young girl we have been discussing is rather rebellious and think that her parents are her kill joys. She pouts, she sulks, she hides things from her family and think they do not want her to be happy. Despite all their wealth and success, she is not a happy nor contented person. I am surprised that she likes Elizabeth and wants to spend time with my daughter. Interestingly both mother and daughter agree about Elizabeth. Both like and trust Elizabeth.
I certainly hope that in going to another country, the difficulty in adjusting will turn out to be a blessing for this young girl. Maturity will find her faster in the midst of change. May she become self-assured in the process. Adjustment can bind the family closer together. Difficulties breed character. May she find her centre in the new world and be happy and contented.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
(517) A Reluctant Queen by Joan Wolf
Being familiar with the book of Esther in the bible, I must say that this historical fiction is some what different from the biblical account. As the author puts it, it is "the love story of Esther".
The story was set in the city of Susa, where Mordecai worked in the King's treasury. Esther was his orphaned niece. After Queen Vashti was deposed, beautiful virgins were taken into the palace to be prepared as candidates to take her place. Out of many formidable rivals, Esther was chosen as the new Queen. Meanwhile, Haman (the Jews' enemy) was plotting to annihilate the Jews. Esther courageously went before the King to plead for her people. The Jews were saved and Haman was executed.
This book provided a glimpse into the daily life in the palace that one cannot get from reading the scripture. I find it entirely believable that Esther did fall in love with her royal husband. And it is certain that she won the favour of her husband. I know it was probably naive to believe that a great King can be satisfied with bedding one woman exclusively. But it is wonderful to believe love does conquer all in some cases.
I like the chapters devoted to the less formal life the royal family spent in the summer hill resort. In that setting, I see the warring and conquering abilities of the victorious race. Without the horses, they would not be controlling such a great empire stretching from India to Ethiopia.
After conquering many nations and taking captives, the city of Susa must have been a most cosmopolitan place. Seeing that Mordecai was placed in a literate position in the treasury, this government obviously utilized the many talents of their captives.
Another interesting fact is that the conquering race counted the blood line from the father side. But the Jews counted it from the mother side. If Esther's mother did not marry her husband who was not a Jew, there would be no Queen Esther. (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.) It is obvious that Esther is the one called to save her race.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
The story was set in the city of Susa, where Mordecai worked in the King's treasury. Esther was his orphaned niece. After Queen Vashti was deposed, beautiful virgins were taken into the palace to be prepared as candidates to take her place. Out of many formidable rivals, Esther was chosen as the new Queen. Meanwhile, Haman (the Jews' enemy) was plotting to annihilate the Jews. Esther courageously went before the King to plead for her people. The Jews were saved and Haman was executed.
This book provided a glimpse into the daily life in the palace that one cannot get from reading the scripture. I find it entirely believable that Esther did fall in love with her royal husband. And it is certain that she won the favour of her husband. I know it was probably naive to believe that a great King can be satisfied with bedding one woman exclusively. But it is wonderful to believe love does conquer all in some cases.
I like the chapters devoted to the less formal life the royal family spent in the summer hill resort. In that setting, I see the warring and conquering abilities of the victorious race. Without the horses, they would not be controlling such a great empire stretching from India to Ethiopia.
After conquering many nations and taking captives, the city of Susa must have been a most cosmopolitan place. Seeing that Mordecai was placed in a literate position in the treasury, this government obviously utilized the many talents of their captives.
Another interesting fact is that the conquering race counted the blood line from the father side. But the Jews counted it from the mother side. If Esther's mother did not marry her husband who was not a Jew, there would be no Queen Esther. (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.) It is obvious that Esther is the one called to save her race.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
(516) Outcasts United by Warren St. John
Quoting the author: "it's the story of a soccer team for young refugees, of the remarkable woman who founded that team, and of the town where these people came together."
It is also remarkable that a successful reporter would pull up stake from New York city to relocate to Clarkston, Georgia to write this story. Until I read this book, I have never thought about where all the refugees go to after they enter the United States. In just one team of soccer players, we have boys from Sudan, Congo, Kosovo, Gambia, Burundi, Afghanistan, Liberia, Bosnia, and Iraq.
The first thing that Elizabeth thought about was sending a small sum to support such a meaningful enterprise. I have noted the film deal and the commercial support as well as financial support from a National newspaper. I am glad that Luma, Tracy and the Fugees players do not have to struggle on their own anymore in a land of plenty.
For my daughter who hardly follow the different conflicts around the world, this book opened her eyes. She particularly likes the fact that the author did not assume every reader would know what happened when in those war torn countries, he just explained enough so that readers like Elizabeth would get enough back ground information to appreciate what was being related.
Like those who voluntarily and continue to work with the refugees in Georgia, my family and I have experienced the gracious generous ways of dirt poor subsisting farmers in Thailand and Borneo. Folks in my present church continue to work with the poor and the marginalized in Myanmar. There is something refreshing about those who are untouched by the unrelenting materialism in modern society.
It is also remarkable that a successful reporter would pull up stake from New York city to relocate to Clarkston, Georgia to write this story. Until I read this book, I have never thought about where all the refugees go to after they enter the United States. In just one team of soccer players, we have boys from Sudan, Congo, Kosovo, Gambia, Burundi, Afghanistan, Liberia, Bosnia, and Iraq.
The first thing that Elizabeth thought about was sending a small sum to support such a meaningful enterprise. I have noted the film deal and the commercial support as well as financial support from a National newspaper. I am glad that Luma, Tracy and the Fugees players do not have to struggle on their own anymore in a land of plenty.
For my daughter who hardly follow the different conflicts around the world, this book opened her eyes. She particularly likes the fact that the author did not assume every reader would know what happened when in those war torn countries, he just explained enough so that readers like Elizabeth would get enough back ground information to appreciate what was being related.
Like those who voluntarily and continue to work with the refugees in Georgia, my family and I have experienced the gracious generous ways of dirt poor subsisting farmers in Thailand and Borneo. Folks in my present church continue to work with the poor and the marginalized in Myanmar. There is something refreshing about those who are untouched by the unrelenting materialism in modern society.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
(515) Satelite Imaging
Having access to digital TV, I enjoyed a program made possible by satelite imaging. It was like an aerial journey made for armchair travelers.
I actually watched one that shows me parts of South Africa which includes Johansburg. The journey started from the east coast, transverse to the west and ended at a spectacular mountain range. For the first time I have a close look at what an old diamond mine was left to look like.
Then I really like the one on New York state which ended with a grand view of the Niagara Falls. I was treated to the beautiful scenery of the acres and acres of forest preserve in New York state. Those lakes, big and small, are just so serene and peaceful to look at.
There was one that shows those expensive and exclusive get away towns like Martha's Vineyard. There were many islands, seaside quaint little towns, famous names like the Kennedy's home base. Massachusetts may be small, but the Atlantic side certainly seems like it was millionaires' playground.
No wonder one of my friends said she rather watch one of these programs from the comforts of home than to take long flights to be there!
I actually watched one that shows me parts of South Africa which includes Johansburg. The journey started from the east coast, transverse to the west and ended at a spectacular mountain range. For the first time I have a close look at what an old diamond mine was left to look like.
Then I really like the one on New York state which ended with a grand view of the Niagara Falls. I was treated to the beautiful scenery of the acres and acres of forest preserve in New York state. Those lakes, big and small, are just so serene and peaceful to look at.
There was one that shows those expensive and exclusive get away towns like Martha's Vineyard. There were many islands, seaside quaint little towns, famous names like the Kennedy's home base. Massachusetts may be small, but the Atlantic side certainly seems like it was millionaires' playground.
No wonder one of my friends said she rather watch one of these programs from the comforts of home than to take long flights to be there!
(514) Politeness
I have an old school friend who often gives expensive treats to Elizabeth and I. Being a conscientious mom, I would make sure Elizabeth sends appreciative notes after the events.
One day, I was in her palatial home. She received a sweet thank you note from her friend who came for lunch just an hour ago. I have noted that the lady in question came with a little something in hand too. To me, it was really good manners. But to my friend, she would rather those whom she sees regularly not follow Miss Manners to the dot. She reasons it this way, she merely cooks a little more and have some delightful company to share it with. It was a win-win situation and nobody loses.
After analyzing it, I realised that my friend's husband is in business. Her friend's husband is a banker. Could it be that the banker's wife is being circumspect and not wanting to owe any favours. Otherwise, it would be hard for her husband to turn down a loan application from my friend's husband.
One day, I was in her palatial home. She received a sweet thank you note from her friend who came for lunch just an hour ago. I have noted that the lady in question came with a little something in hand too. To me, it was really good manners. But to my friend, she would rather those whom she sees regularly not follow Miss Manners to the dot. She reasons it this way, she merely cooks a little more and have some delightful company to share it with. It was a win-win situation and nobody loses.
After analyzing it, I realised that my friend's husband is in business. Her friend's husband is a banker. Could it be that the banker's wife is being circumspect and not wanting to owe any favours. Otherwise, it would be hard for her husband to turn down a loan application from my friend's husband.
(513) Happily ever after?
I have been hibernating in my brother's house for many days. Just yesterday I heard my mum talking on the phone with her old friend who was her co workers from her early twenties. Now I know from whom I have inherited my listening skills.
It was a kind of one-sided conversation. Apparently my mum's friend was lonely and needed sympathy. Her husband left her alone in their house. He went on one of his many do-good trips to Thailand. Why was it that a healthy and active old lady not follow her husband there? Oh! He seemed to walk too fast and each time she was left behind, she was terrified of being lost in a foreign country. When she complained about it, her children told her not to go with him unless there is another person who would wait for her.
We are talking about a couple who have celebrated their golden anniversary. I wonder if there are any really happily married couple who are both above seventy years old in town? I have met a few in America. Lately, I haven't come across any in this mega city.
It was a kind of one-sided conversation. Apparently my mum's friend was lonely and needed sympathy. Her husband left her alone in their house. He went on one of his many do-good trips to Thailand. Why was it that a healthy and active old lady not follow her husband there? Oh! He seemed to walk too fast and each time she was left behind, she was terrified of being lost in a foreign country. When she complained about it, her children told her not to go with him unless there is another person who would wait for her.
We are talking about a couple who have celebrated their golden anniversary. I wonder if there are any really happily married couple who are both above seventy years old in town? I have met a few in America. Lately, I haven't come across any in this mega city.
(512) Collectors?
I have a cousin who collects guitars. My husband asked how many guitars does he own? His answer was interesting: "Officially twenty three." Apparently he invariably kept that number at home but keeps the rest away from his wife's eyes.
My girl friend collects shoes. At last count she has sixty three pairs. Another collects hand bags. At her death, there were forty five. A third one collects books. She owns a few thousands stored safely in boxes with moth balls in her spare room.
My husband's friend is a geek. He kept buying the latest gadgets. In order to find room for the new items, he gave away the not so old ones to brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces. I suppose it is better than gambling or taking drugs. But one can imagine the thousands he spent chasing after the latest technology. It is just as well that he has a high income.
Here I want to bring in a New York celebrity chef: Marc Samuelsson. He was born and orphaned in Ethiopia. His sister and him were adopted and brought up in Sweden. His adoptive parents obviously spent their hard earned money transforming these two orphans' lives. I wonder if they still find the time and money to collect items. No, don't get me wrong! I am not really against collecting beautiful and meaningful items. I am merely pointing out that those with great resources are responsible for the wise disposal of it.
My girl friend collects shoes. At last count she has sixty three pairs. Another collects hand bags. At her death, there were forty five. A third one collects books. She owns a few thousands stored safely in boxes with moth balls in her spare room.
My husband's friend is a geek. He kept buying the latest gadgets. In order to find room for the new items, he gave away the not so old ones to brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces. I suppose it is better than gambling or taking drugs. But one can imagine the thousands he spent chasing after the latest technology. It is just as well that he has a high income.
Here I want to bring in a New York celebrity chef: Marc Samuelsson. He was born and orphaned in Ethiopia. His sister and him were adopted and brought up in Sweden. His adoptive parents obviously spent their hard earned money transforming these two orphans' lives. I wonder if they still find the time and money to collect items. No, don't get me wrong! I am not really against collecting beautiful and meaningful items. I am merely pointing out that those with great resources are responsible for the wise disposal of it.
(511) Stowaway by Karen Hesse
It took me many weeks to wade through a journal-like book. I can't say it is badly written. The only thing is that it makes tedious reading. Yet I am not willing to let it go as I know I am learning new facts about sailing round the world centuries ago.
I am amazed that the author actually accessed journals kept by sea captain and naturalist in order to gather materials to write a fictional account of the journey through the eyes of a stowaway. I may be willing to struggle through hundreds of pages to learn new facts, but I have no great love for the sea. And I won't dream of going through reams of decaying documents to sieve through historical data.
If you are interested to find out how it is like to be on Captain Cook's first journey which he discovered Australia, this is a good book to read. It was a by gone age where a boy in his early teen could be signed on to work on such a ship. Many able body sea men died of tropical diseases while Nicholas Young lived to join Joseph Banks on a journey to Iceland.
I am amazed that the author actually accessed journals kept by sea captain and naturalist in order to gather materials to write a fictional account of the journey through the eyes of a stowaway. I may be willing to struggle through hundreds of pages to learn new facts, but I have no great love for the sea. And I won't dream of going through reams of decaying documents to sieve through historical data.
If you are interested to find out how it is like to be on Captain Cook's first journey which he discovered Australia, this is a good book to read. It was a by gone age where a boy in his early teen could be signed on to work on such a ship. Many able body sea men died of tropical diseases while Nicholas Young lived to join Joseph Banks on a journey to Iceland.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
(510) Crime Zero by Michael Cordy
This is a book that I read quite a number of years ago. I read it again the last few days and found that I have actually forgotten everything in it except the scene that we found thirteen nude bodies of teenagers preserved in aquariums filled with formalin.
With genetic therapy at a very advanced state now, it is possible that there is technology here today to do what was claimed in the book. Suppose if there are experts with sufficient finance, I can see in my mind's eye that a pathogen could be released in major airports through the air filters targeted at any group predetermined by the designer.
It is one thing to test gene therapy on death row convicts that bring them to death sooner. It is another to kill off all adult male universally within three years. This idea brought to mind one of the countries described in Journey to the West: a country made up of females only. The only difference between the two books is: in Crime Zero, boys before puberty would be allowed to live and pass on their modified genes to their offspring.
It seems that we are too clever by half. A lone gun man who may be insane could massacre between sixty to seventy people within an afternoon. Sorry I did not keep up to date with the much revised number of casualty in Norway. Our fire power far out stripped our security and justice systems. I simply cannot equate that number of lives to no death penalty and a maximum of 21 years in jail, really I don't care if some psychiatrists diagnose him as insane. Suppose if those countries with such technology do not find a way to safe guard the use, then a few key individuals could be the cause of millions of deaths.
With genetic therapy at a very advanced state now, it is possible that there is technology here today to do what was claimed in the book. Suppose if there are experts with sufficient finance, I can see in my mind's eye that a pathogen could be released in major airports through the air filters targeted at any group predetermined by the designer.
It is one thing to test gene therapy on death row convicts that bring them to death sooner. It is another to kill off all adult male universally within three years. This idea brought to mind one of the countries described in Journey to the West: a country made up of females only. The only difference between the two books is: in Crime Zero, boys before puberty would be allowed to live and pass on their modified genes to their offspring.
It seems that we are too clever by half. A lone gun man who may be insane could massacre between sixty to seventy people within an afternoon. Sorry I did not keep up to date with the much revised number of casualty in Norway. Our fire power far out stripped our security and justice systems. I simply cannot equate that number of lives to no death penalty and a maximum of 21 years in jail, really I don't care if some psychiatrists diagnose him as insane. Suppose if those countries with such technology do not find a way to safe guard the use, then a few key individuals could be the cause of millions of deaths.
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