(837) Stories I told my nephew 1

While my nephew is waiting for the delivery of his first car, I was drafted into sending him to work every Tuesday. Since I am a firm believer in grabbing the opportunity of instilling a lesson, it is wonderful to have a captive audience once in a while.

I related a real incident in my life. My uncle was a government servant. His wife is a home-maker. When a government long serving servant retired, there is a decent amount of gratuity given upon his 55th birthday. This couple came to the agreement that they would split the gratuity half-half. There after she would not touch a cent of his pension. He also agreed  that when the children chipped in house keeping money, he would not demand any.

All went well until the eldest son has been working for a year or so. He then noticed that his father would avoid sitting and talking with him in the lounge area. Over a drink, he casually asked me what could have gone wrong. I tuned my data base of Chinese customs and shot my first question,"Did you greet him on the way out to work? What about when you reached home in the evening?" Answers were in the affirmative. Next question,"When was the last time you gave him money?" The answer was the last Chinese New Year. I was shocked! Since my cousin was educated in the national language, I have to start explaining that giving money to an elder is a very Chinese way of showing love and concern. He has to give regardless whether his father needs any allowance from him or not.

My cousin was teachable. He started giving his old man $50 in a red packet the very next month. He was laughing when he related how his dad bought him a six pact of beer for him the week end after. Then the following month, his dad accepted another $50 but bought him two pairs of very nice bermuda pants( foo- pants in Chinese meant wealth, the old man is blessing his first born son.). This time, I had fun estimating the value of the pants and told him that he actually gained numerically when he accepted the pants. I was happy to note that father and son were closer than before.

And with the real incident, I taught my nephew that he should give whatever he could afford to his parent who controls the housekeeping. In his case, he needs to pay monthly car installment. Suppose if he gives $300 to his dad who shops for food, he could lovingly gives $30 to his mom as a gesture of love. Unless they refused to accept it, he should continue to give. Then as he gets increments and promotions, he should increase his contributions proportionately.