(1015) Elizabeth's pathway in music

When my eldest was in kindergarten, my sister-in-law sent my nephew to Yamaha toddler class. After I went to audit the class as a prospective parent, I took Kenneth to a free session. He was totally not interested.

Like a deflated balloon, I never thought of sending any of my brood to any musical activity until Elizabeth hit three years old. At three years nine months, she talked incessantly about going to school like her idol, Kenneth. We methodically visited two kindergartens, she decided on Canning Garden Methodist Kindergarten. The very first week of class, we walked past a Yamaha Music School. We heard piano music from the shop lot. Elizabeth stopped mid-step, refused to walk on and demanded that I get her "the black thing". It took me a while to realized she meant a piano.

I was then in a quandary. What if I spent a few thousands purchasing a piano but she loses interest after a year or two. One reason for this concern is we are a one-income family, money was never in abundance. Secondly we were still living in a rental house, there is not much point accumulating items. I must have shared the thought and concern in fellowship group. My Group leader's wife suggested that I approach her niece who would be in town for three months to teach Elizabeth music. If the teacher recommends continuing lessons with a permanent replacement, then perhaps I could risk buying a second hand piano.

It's difficult to forget the image of Elizabeth's first music lesson, she was actually sitting on the teacher's lap. Otherwise she would be too short to reach the piano. To summarise her journey through ten years of learning music: she did not sit for any test, neither did she spend anytime learning music theory. She did everything by listening and finger pattern recognition. In her brain there must be compartment specially prepared for this very purpose.

Today, she is in her late twenties. She plays the keyboard in the church music team. She back up sings too. During her Upper Six year she saved up money for voice lessons. She leads worship on Saturdays. If she could voice sing a song, she could accompany the song on piano, keyboard or guitar. I certainly could not figure out how she does it, since I can't even carry a tune in the correct key. God certainly knows how to send different individuals along to help Elizabeth develop her God-given gift.

(1014) Maids

A big part of Malaysian family life ties up with maids. Why do I say so? Just look at my high school reunion lunch: there were 7 women: Julie whose maid worked for her at least 15 years, Vickie who changed maids every two years, Katie who uses two maids for the past 30 years, Felicia who hailed from USA (no maid), Lily who resides in Singapore (no maid), Minnie who lives in Australia (no maid) and I (sometimes I hire part-time maids to help in my spring cleaning).

As you can see, out of seven women from the same high school; the four who did not migrate have had dealings with maids in their daily lives. One calls in hourly help, one had a long term lived in maid, two live with two maids who come and go according to contracts.

I have come across fantastic maids who serve their employers faithfully and are therefore treated like part of the family. For example, Siti who worked many years for Mr and Mrs Soh in Silver City and she came from the capital in Sulawesi. There is Auntie who served twenty years with Sheryl's family. This enterprising woman saved up enough to buy land, build chalets and is now running a homestay resort off the internet in Jawa. Yet there is Cathy (Filipina) who is honest as the day is long who spent two decades cleaning mum's 7 bedroom mansion...

However, there are heart-rending tales: my cousin's trusted 19 year long-stay Indonesian maid cleaned out her jewels collection when she left for good. It was terrible to lose one's heirloom and hard earned beautiful pieces at one blow. More than that, I'm sure it was a horrible feeling to be betrayed by one whom a person trusted so well.

Then there is the deSilver family's saga. Their paragon had long been all the neighbours' envy. At long last, the model maid's children asked her to return to her hometown to enjoy her well earned rest. The maid, who is an expert baker, baked two cakes on her second last day at work. These were beautifully decorated cakes. One she planned to take home on the returning flight. The other was for her employer's children. Unbeknown to everyone else, the youngest child in the house surveyed both cakes and switched them.

All went according to clockwork. The maid was sent off with good wishes and much affection at the airport. The family concerned came home, very glad they would enjoy one more wonderful cake. They cut into the attractive cake finding the mistress' jewels hidden inside. Imagine the shock! While they must be glad to be safe from financial loses, it must be a bitter taste in the mouth to feel a sense of betrayal!  

1013 Dream about the afterlife

When I returned from America with a newly minted degree and a brand new faith, my father gave me a serious talking to. In his opinion I would be better off sticking to my Chinese folk beliefs. As he put it, for thousands of years my ancestors believed in a blend of Taoism and facets of Buddhism, what made me think that I know any better than my forebears? Well, that is not exactly accurate! My maternal grandmother's biological family members were practicing Christians. Actually my grand uncle was a pastor in Hong Kong after the Communist takeover of China. At least one of my grand aunts was a Bible Woman: a full time staff of the local church. Anyway, thousands of years ago, emperors in China actually sacrificed once a year in an altar out of the imperial capital to Jehovah.

My father lived another twenty years after that discussion. As he felt strongly about my wrong choice, I grew to be certain that I chose the correct faith for myself. A conversation about religion did not take place without anger and raised voice. We learned to steer well away from religion, faith, and conviction. Meanwhile, I knew he would not live forever. Hence I often prayed that God would be merciful to him and grant him a death bed confession.

God is really faithful. He gave me what I asked. After a fall or two, my father was in the hospital. He complained that the nurses did not take him to the bathroom for a proper bath. I could certainly see why, my father is a tall and big man who gained much weight after he stopped walking around town.  Since the diagnosis was first stage cancer in the pancreas, my brothers and I decided that we should grant his wish to have proper baths in a nursing home. He spent one night there. The next morning he collapsed in the bathroom and his face turned blue. The nursing home manager was a former paramedic, she resuscitated him with oxygen. My brother and family turned up and brought him his favourite food. He wanted to return home, I supposed he must have known he was about to die. After the visitors left, I turned up with my eldest son. My father complained about stomach ache. I rubbed his tummy with medicated oil and arranged a bolster he asked for under his feet as they were swollen. He began to be agitated and to peek at the window nervously. When I realised that he must have seen spirits that I could not see, my son and I started to sing every song about the cross and the precious blood of Jesus. He held on to my hand and I have never seen him so scared before. My pastor and a church brother managed to find us after going to four other nursing homes in the vicinity. You see, not every nursing home has sign boards.

By then, my father could not talk. Pastor urged him to nod his head, blink his eye. But he could only stare at us beseechingly. Anyway, Pastor prayed and asked God to be merciful to my father and hear his heart cry. Within five minutes, my father breathed his last. There was a well formed tear that fell from one of his eyes. I was surprised, for my father was a macho man who never cried. For a pre-believer, my father had a very fast and easy death, according to Pastor who knew about such things. But I wanted to know for sure where my father had gone to, so I prayed that God would be merciful and give me a sign.

A few nights later, I dreamed. In the dream, I was driving in Silver City. I went to a supermarket to buy the daily vegetables, and I saw my father in the car park. Then I drove my youngest daughter to school  and I saw him standing behind my car. I asked him why did he follow me around, after all I am living and he had died. He smiled and I told him to look for the light and Jesus would be waiting for him there. He waved his hand and indeed turned to a bright corner and walked away.

I thanked God for the dream. Now I am confident that when I enter heaven I will find him in the heavenly library or information centre, adding to his store of knowledge.

1012 Food for the cat who adopted my mum

A lot has happened since I last posted from Borneo. Now I am back in my Peninsular home. By God's grace I survived a cancer episode. Last year I published a book written thirty five years ago. Right now I am awaiting my volunteer proof reader to go through the manuscript of my second book. From the sale of my first book I have managed to put aside about six hundred dollars. Yesterday my brother gave me eight hundred. Perhaps by the time my second proof reader gets through my work, I may have the 1,600 dollars to print a thousand copies before the end of this calendar year.

After I came out of the hospital last year, I began to notice a black and white cat who visited my mother often. I came from a poor family with a single income. Six of us lived on my dad's two hundred and thirty dollars monthly when I was six years old. The only pet I recall having was a green tiny turtle my dad rescued near his office. Apparently the heavy rain overflowed the ornamental pond of some nearby  rich man's house. I was very taken with the cat as it was discreet, undemanding and came daily to spend time with my eighty-five year old mother. My mum kept a ready supply of clean water for the cat in exchange for its frightening away the mice.

 Five weeks back, the cat stopped appearing in the morning. I kept a continual look out for it during my bi-weekly visits. For four days over a two week period, it came after high noon, looking foot worn and instead of cleaning itself; it slept. We came to the natural conclusion that its owner either went away on vacation or moved away. I was looking at it sleeping in exhaustion when I thought: God, wouldn't it be nice if you could give me some money to supply food to this poor cat so that it could continue to come spend time with my almost deaf mother. It was a fleeting thought and I soon forgot the momentary wish.

Lo and behold, a few days later, I received a designated offering in the offering bag in my church. It was one hundred dollars. That was unusual, as I was neither a pastor nor a missionary. It took me a few days to recall my fleeting thought and realised that the money was meant for the cat. Well, the money was spent on  purchasing bags of Whiskas cat food. I calculated I have about eight months' worth of  food to feed the cat who adopted my mother. I am very touched that God loves me, my mother and a cat enough to make provision for its upkeep. We serve an amazing God of love.

(1011) Called in Sabah

June said I wanted to come to Sabah. Actually that is not true. Since my father returned from a stint of working in Tawau, I had the impression that northern Borneo was the end of modern civilization.

One Christmas John went to an end-of-year dinner of some club and bid for a hotel stay in Sandakan. He spent many weeks talking me into flying into the town. Finally it was because I wanted to see Lilian's baby that I reluctantly came.

While here, I caught a beautiful view of the bay from a look-out point near Agnes Keith House. No, that peek was not why I am here now. After all, I've seen much more beautiful sea views near San Francisco.

The second night I was in Sandakan, I woke up between two to three am. I thought I heard someone call me. No, it was not my husband; he was snoring. Being Asian, I did not reply. I remembered one of the childhood stories my grandmother used to tell me: the old folks say one should not answer to calls of one's name if one could not see the caller, hence my silence. I puzzled for a moment then went back to sleep.

It was on the plane that I suddenly wondered if God had called me. And I beat myself for not answering, “Yes Lord, speak, for your servant is listening.”

(1010) Windfall of Coconuts

As I was sitting in my backyard yesterday, three contract sanitation workers came to cut the grass and clear the big drain. One of them wielded a lightweight cutter, the other cleared the drain behind the first, and the third one chopped the brambles ahead of his colleagues.

On their way back, the one with the cutter asked if the coconut trees behind my property were mine. “No,” I said as I pointed to the big house three hundred feet across the hill. He smiled and told his colleagues something before he climbed up the shorter tree. He was graceful. There was a certain cadence in the way he swung himself up the narrow trunk progressively using both arms and legs.

Once he reached the cluster of brown coconuts, he twisted and sent about ten, one after another, down into the waiting hands below. Looking at them, they were definitely used to handling coconuts. The climber hugged three to his chest. The drain-clearer held two, one in each hand. The bush-clearer managed to take one while his other hand held the machete.

An hour later, an old man walked past. He saw the coconuts on the wayside and picked up two to take home. I wonder if they are going to use the white flesh to make dessert or squeeze the milk out to cook curry?

(1009) Merely Owner in Name

I have neighbours who are a newly-wed couple. The young wife is the legal owner of the house. However, it was her mother who brought a maid to clean that house successive afternoons before her wedding. When the house was physically clean, the man's family came in. It took quite a few people to chop down and burn five feet tall lalang (prairie grass) in the backyard.

This couple either travels frequently or their work takes them out of town often. When the wife works outstation, we see the man living alone. When the husband leaves town, the wife presumably goes back to her parents' house. Infrequently we see the husband hang out his clothes. In about three months though, I noticed her clothes only twice.

It is quite interesting that a house fully furnished with a fridge, stove, hot water heater, TV, air-conditioners, kitchen cabinets and more could not keep the young wife there. She kept spending time and staying overnight in her parents' house. Could it be that she misses the maid's service so much that she treats her own abode like a hotel?

If the legal owner of the house does not keep it clean, would her husband bother to mop and sweep? How long will the mother of this young lady bear the responsibility of ferrying a maid to and fro to clean house for her daughter?

(1008) The Theory of Cleaning

My cousin's parents helped him purchase a house. A double-storey terrace house in any city of note costs about 700 to 800 thousand dollars. That price tag is well beyond the means of most young men in my country. Hence Kong's parents came up with half of the price in cash. The house was put in Kong's and his mother's names.

Kong's grandma was a little miffed at this arrangement. Well, I gently reminded her that Kong's mum bought a new car for the exclusive use of his sister. Through the months though, we noticed the young lady did not wash the car at all. It was the poor mum who cleaned it weekly despite her hectic schedule.

I asked Kong once why he washed his car but his sister didn't wash hers. His answer was illuminating. Kong has a confirmed job and used his name to borrow money for the car purchase. It is normal for the named owner to clean his car. His sister, however, was driving her mum's car. In that case, the actual owner is responsible for cleaning her car.

Therefore, I propounded my theory that Kong's dad is wise. The owners of the newly-bought house, his son and his wife, would then be responsible to clean or to pay someone to clean that house.

(1007) Beaked and Feathered Grass Cutters

My three egg lay-ers are in one cage. Last week they roamed free in the backyard. One after the other they flew over to my neighbour's and scratched their sink, stove and washing machine top. Granted, they were wired to look for the best nesting site, but it was still a nuisance to risk chicken droppings on a cooking surface.

And so, while all other chickens roam free during daylight hours, those three poor sods are now confined in one rabbit cage. My son and I keep fourteen chickens in our 20x80 feet backyard. We keep them for eggs. A by-product is having a grass-cutting service. We figure it would at least cost $60 monthly to bring in a grass cutter. What really makes it not probable is that there is no back gate. An alien grass cutter would have to traipse past my living area from the front to access the grassy area. Since I don't like the idea of a stranger traversing my living room and kitchen, I resort to dealing with the grass myself.

These chickens are Asian in food preference. They prefer cooked rice to bread. They would eat soaked beans of all sorts early in the morning. Vegetables that are cut, whether cooked or raw, are eaten with gusto with rice and gravy. Yes! They like sweet or salty gravy. They love papaya seeds and skin too. In fact, they eat grains, vegetables, fruits and whatever else we give them. Their all-time favourite is fatty pork. Perhaps it is preferred because of its scarcity. When we eat pork, we save the fatty parts and cut them into small bits to make sure each chicken gets at least a few bites.

(1006) Behind Time No Longer

When I first came to northern Borneo, I was surprised that it became completely dark at 6:15pm. Of course it could not be compared to a dark, cold, windy twilight at 3:30pm in Washington DC in winter!

Then it came to me that during my few rail journeys from Penang to Bangkok and then Chiangmai, sunrise and sunset were around 6am or 6pm by Thai time. So that is what it would be like if the time zone is smack on an area as it should be.

In Kuala Lumpur, the sun does not rise until about 7am in January. Correspondingly, it does not set until about 8pm. Of course, Peninsular adopted that time zone to be in sync with Sabah and Sarawak. Therefore in Peninsular, people would have to live with a late sunrise and therefore a late sunset; after all, that is the most accurate time zone for western Sabah.

Anyway, I am reaping the benefits now. I sleep earlier and awake earlier. That would be one of the criteria of a healthy life.

(1005) Malaysian 'San Diego'

It was high noon. I stood in the shadow cast by my neighbour's extension. The sky was as blue as any seen in any tourist postcard. There were white clouds that look like cotton candy fluff.

The wind – O beautiful cooling wind – blew the coconut and banana leaves. It made a sound that can put a person to sleep. It was so peaceful and relaxing. The only time I experienced stronger wind was in the Appalachians (USA) in winter. This state (Sabah, north east on Borneo) is called the land below the wind. Although the hurricanes that slashed through the Philippines usually bypass here, we do have strong wind often.

I don't know if it is due to the monsoons (or could it be the cool wind from the sea?) but it is cool. If I stay in the shade, I could be wearing long pants and a long-sleeved shirt, and not feel hot. Yet this area is hardly one hundred feet above sea level. And we are definitely within the tropics. I thank God that in this season, I can enjoy cool wind while being under the hot sun.

This wonderful feeling of being cooled by the breeze brings to mind San Diego in summer. No matter how high the temperature was, once I stepped into any shade I would feel cooled by the cold wind.

Anyway, I am thankful that I needn't drive up to Kundasan (a highland) to experience cool wind.

(1004) Tales of Monitor Lizards

I was standing at my sink washing dishes. Suddenly the chickens were squawking loudly! I looked up and saw a small green monitor lizard (about a foot and a half long) trying to get into my egg lay-er's cage. He could not, of course! The wires are too close together to even allow a three-inch-in-diameter body through.

By the time I was out with a broom, the lizard was high-tailing it out of the fence to the underdeveloped hill slope beyond.

That image brought back the memory of the monitor lizard we saw in Ipoh many years ago. I was driving my children back from afternoon activities in school. It was probably about four-thirty. A huge brown monitor lizard (probably three to four feet long) was meandering along the paved road intersecting the road in front of my house. It was huge. Its body at the widest point was bigger than that of my ten-year-old daughter (granted, she was a little on the skinny side).

I banked my car as a group of Indonesian cooks (there was a catering service in a nearby shop) crossed the road, chasing the monitor lizard. Later we heard yells of victory—they must have cornered and caught the lizard. It was considered a rare delicacy.

(1003) Fears of Unemployability

My husband's cousin used to study geography in uni. Everyone who heard about it at that time said she would have problems finding a job.

But upon graduation she migrated to Australia. There she picked up a Master's in Town Planning and thereafter became a city employee of Melbourne.

My best friend's brother was in geology way before petroleum was discovered in my country. Wonder of wonders! When he graduated he had three job offers: Shell, BP and Petronas. By now he has been to the far corners of four continents prospecting for oil.

My youngest is graduating with an English Literature degree soon. I wonder if God will be kind to her and throw her a hot job despite the so-called 'cold' field she is in.

(1002) No Grandchildren in Sight

When my schoolmates gathered at age fifty-two, one of the ladies talked about her anguish at having an only son and having to put up with his idiosyncrasies:-

1. To buy cars with part-time job earnings then fixing one before wrecking it while speeding;
2. To have moods and bouts of depression at late teens. Her husband had put in an attached bathroom for every bedroom and installed bedroom door locks. So she spent weeks unable to sleep, wondering if her son would commit suicide inside his domain;
3. To refuse higher education for one year after high school graduation;
4. To contemplate moving to Sydney with his girlfriend, leaving his parents behind in Perth; and
5. To keep talking about quitting his stable government job and coming out to freelance in fashion designing.

The one sore point then was that the son had a live-in girlfriend whom she approved, yet both had no desire to get married. She said she was old-fashioned and would like to have grandchildren.

This is the year of the goat by Chinese calendar. That means my youngest will hit 24 soon. I don't see any sign of a boyfriend or girlfriend for any of my children. Marriage? Not in the picture. Grandchildren? None yet in the foreseeable future.

(1001) Golden Leaves of Nature

We live in a terraced, double-storey house with a long backyard. Our left-hand neighbour built an extension right up to ten feet before the back boundary. As a result of that, we enjoy the shadow cast by the extension from 12:01pm onwards. By 4pm our entire backyard is in shadow.

Beyond our back boundary is a deep drain. There is an overgrown path that grass cutters and drain-clearers use. Then there is a bluff of perhaps thirty feet. Wild chickens travel down the bluff easily on trails they create daily. On top of the bluff is a strip of land, perhaps 1,000 yards. This land is filled with coconut, mango and other fruit trees. Next to the drain two houses away, we have a thick bamboo grove.

Across the vacant land there is a big house with a few outbuildings. We heard that it is empty and strangers would rent it at $400 a night. Well, at that steep price, it is more often empty.

I grew up in the city. It is here that I realise that poets are right in writing about the sound made by bamboo, coconut and banana trees. These sounds are different, one from another. They are restful and bring peace to our souls.

There are at least two hours from sunrise till the time sunlight finally hits my backyard. In fact the contrast between the green grass in shadow and the leaves of the tall trees on the bluff bathed in early sunlight is exceptionally beautiful. Now I see why light green bathed in early morning sunshine can be described as golden. We live in a beautiful world.

(1000) Going Green with Rainwater

It seems that Boston received more than 100cm of snow in the first week of February 2015. At the same time, here I am in Sabah experiencing the lack of rainwater in the backyard tank.

Living in a tropical climate, it is common to have close to 100 inches of rainfall per year. Yet nobody collects rainwater in the mass-produced housing in Selangor or Federal Territory in Peninsular.

Still, I find it handy to have rainwater to use for hand-washing my clothes daily. I also use the same supply for cleaning chicken droppings off my cemented back portion.

Officially, we should be having the North-East Monsoon from September until March. Yet practically, this is the first time in eight months that the water level of my 10-band tank is at band 3.

In the past months, I generally pay the minimum water charge of $5 per month. At the same time, by conserving electricity – using measures such as no air-conditioning unless absolutely necessary, cold-water baths, every appliance plug taken out when not in use, rice cooker used only 4 times per month – I managed to keep the electric bill to $16-19. For any amount less than $20, there is no need to pay. I suppose I belong to the poor category when it comes to electrical use. It fits in with my conviction of reducing my carbon footprint and recycling every bit of resource that passes through my hands.

(268) Catching more of USA

This afternoon I have been fortunate in catching a program: 'The World From Above” on Channel 571, Astro. It showcased parts of North Dakota: beginning with the north-west corner, followed by a few towns then ending on Mount Rushmore.

If there is anything I missed the most these eight months, it is this program. I used to catch it now and then while visiting my mum twice a week. My elder brother subscribes to Astro in Peninsular.

One of my neighbours went back to Peninsular during CNY the past week. During my daily 2-5pm viewing, this is the first time I managed to catch this program. I am most grateful to my neighbours as well as their maid for this privilege.

During my undergraduate years in the US as a scholarship student, I visited fourteen states. Now with NASA's satellite technology, I am slowly viewing more parts of USA remotely via Astro. Of course, I have also viewed South Africa as well as parts of Europe through this program. While it is interesting to see other continents, mainly it is helping me fulfil my desire to visit more states of USA by catching more segments on TV.

(270) Chicken saga continues

It is astonishing how much fourteen chickens can eat. When white-speckled cockerel started crowing, I thought, 'That's it! I will give away a few of them.'

First I opened the cage and caught the blue-highlight, black male. He struggled valiantly. I held on to him tightly. With the other hand, I closed the cage and caught his legs. Then I tied them together with a short length of twine.

Next I caught the biggest female which had not started laying. It was easier to control her as by size, she was smaller than the male. When she was trussed up, in she went to the box with the male.

Then I took the male with a black-feathered father and a pale-feathered mother. Interestingly, the offspring is not attractive in plumage. The scattering of brownish feathers among the predominant black looks dirty.

By then my son had returned and he caught the biggest: the white-speckled cockerel. While he held on securely, I tied the big bird's legs. This chicken is easily four times in weight compared to the blue-highlight, black male.

It was tiring struggling with chickens. I almost tripped on the stairs going up to change before driving the chickens to their destination.

Big fat white-speckled would make a delicious meal for an extended family on a holiday weekend. The three smaller ones would probably be kept to start a brood of chickens who can fly. I certainly hope that this gift would solve my friend's problem of losing chickens to monitor lizards.

(267) Pole to Pole by Palin

If you are an Agatha Christie fan, do you know that she actually wrote Murder on the Orient Express in Room 411 of Pera Palas Hotel in Istanbul?

Apparently Warner Brothers wanted to make a film of the missing 11 days in her life, you know it was when she disappeared but was found in a resort under her husband's lover's name. From consulting a medium, the room was searched on 7 March 1979 and a rusty key was found under the floor boards. Sad to say, the hotel President demanded an exorbitant sum and Warner Brothers refused to comply. Therefore, her diary for that period is still locked somewhere and the key to access that was in turn locked in a safe to safeguard the Hotel's interest.

I was fascinated reading this account on pages 98 and 99.

(266) Possession in Death by J.D.Robb

This story reminded me of recent crimes both in Germany and USA. It is heinous to kidnap young women, detain them against their wishes to do things they would not want to. In Germany it happened in an underground dwelling. In USA it actually happened in a house with near neighbors. In this story the unbalanced perp just wanted to dance with those beautiful girls until a new one comes. Then he had to kill the old one with tears.

The twist in the story is having the deceased grandma taking possession of the detective's body to find the victim added color to the plot.

(265) Chaos in Death by J.D.Robb

This series is written by Nora Roberts under another pen name.

I must say that I prefer to read her in her romantic genre. In Chaos in Death, I detected a modern version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The writing is of course Nora Robert smooth, yet somehow it does not sound original. A commercial success, no doubt! I probably would not purchase and keep any one of  the 39 books listed.

Yet to be fair, if you choose to pay 35.90 of my local currency you do get an entertaining read.

(264) Beautiful faces

Elizabeth was looking at her friend's face book picture, and she commented that Kylie has a very distinctive face. I sneaked one glance and said she looked a little like my childhood friend Primrose. The busy body in me went on to say that Kylie would likely marry very well - in terms of her future husband's looks and financial circumstances.

However, there is usually one catch: really beautiful women may not have daughters or some of them may be infertile. Here I quoted Primrose is childless, my school friend Serene who has two boys, my cousin-in-law who has two sons and adopted a girl from Korea. There was Princess Diana. My own sister-in-law has two boys and could not have any more children...

It is almost as if nature conspired to make sure such beautiful genes are not passed on to the next generation. Well, my Thai cook friend told me that her elder sister in Southern Thailand has a very beautiful daughter. At age thirteen, suitors came. One serious proposal was rejected. Another good proposal came at age 14, this time the parents knew they could not say no as the prospective groom is a good guy and he came from a good family. They managed to delay the wedding until the girl was 15. But under the circumstances the poor beautiful girl never get to complete her education. You see, if the parents had objected again, some bad guy would kidnap and forced her to marry whom she abhor because the parents are arrogant in continuing to reject suitors.

(263) Unwritten sex rules

In Bed of Roses by Nora Roberts, I read about the rule among girl friends that once a guy was "taken" sexually, the others are not supposed to "conquer" him. I suppose I must be both conservative and from the older generation that sex both outside and inside of marriage was not discussed even among bosom friends in my home country.

I remember when I just returned from college abroad, I was so lonely that I connected with a lady lawyer qualified from UK. We spent a lot of time together doing many things. I even caught quite a few theater shows with her and her different escorts. At that point she didn't drive and I didn't have a car. So naturally she requested whomever to date her to pick me up during the weekends. After the show, he would send me home and went on to the next destination with her.

She dated an accountant, a business manager, an architect, an engineer and well, another lawyer. At least I met all five briefly. It was the fellow lawyer that she pointed out to me. Apparently he was together with another lawyer for four years in UK. I have met his long term girl friend in another party. Interestingly, that girl married shortly after that, but with another chap. Sad to say, the lady involved has had quite a number of miscarriages after her marriage. Much later, we found out that the cause of those miscarriages : the petite and short lady has been taking over the counter birth control pills for more than four years and those pills were designed for white women seven inches taller whose body mass many kilograms heavier.

In the end the couple concerned decided to adopt a Korean orphan girl and they migrated to Australia. From this brief meeting, it seemed that course mates from British universities do date friends' ex-lived ins. Perhaps, one rule works in one country but not another. Well, the law circles in my home town are relatively small, one would have to deal with one's ex professionally and socially to a certain extent. It certainly would not help if one's ex work in the same firm or if one's seniors in the firm become married to one's ex. But then for those concerned, it would have to be all in a day's work!

(262) Rage

This morning Elizabeth, my youngest, asked if she did something bad in her childhood and tried to cover up. ( The question is the result of some rather "nosy" bible study question her youth group subscribed to. I was lucky to have only accepted Christ at age 24, so the youth organization era was not in my past.)

Well! Elizabeth was tiny in size but rather hot tempered many years ago. Her closest friend Cassandra at age seven nursed some wounds for about a week until I heard from the mother. Apparently Cassandra knowingly goaded Elizabeth into scratching her at the wrist. The interesting part was Cassandra was at my house for three evenings a week but I failed to notice the bandage. Probably it was the left wrist and she was quite good at hiding it from me.

I dare say both girls were at fault. But Cassandra's mom was adamant that the young girl was teasing and goading to see how Elizabeth would react. The practical and sensible mother felt that it was a relief that it was my daughter who merely scratched the aggressor. Imagine if the victim swing a filled mineral water bottle at Cassandra's head! Of course I went home and gave Elizabeth the third degree for scratching a playmate. I taught her to turn around and walk off, it is far smarter to ignore such a person, even if it was her best friend.

Now! The reason I blog this is not to show my readers how bad or good my child was in the past or is at present. Usually the first sign I spot in a recovered learning disabled adult is the disproportionate reaction to being forced, coerced, victimized or being made to feel injustice. Well, the last time I gave my husband a good dressing down was when he asked me an ungrammatical question,"Water boil ah?" early one morning when I was bustling around trying to accomplish a few tasks in order to leave the house for the day. What he really meant was: "Did I turn off the fire and actually forgot about it?" I took it that he was unreasonable enough to expect me to drop everything to boil more drinking water. I collected the water bottles and could not find my jug. He was unwise enough to put real lemon to soak in a plastic jug. A volcano erupted and he was still trying to shake sleep off his head, all he wanted to know was if I had turned off the fire under a whistling kettle. My daughter said he deserved the shelling as he could have just stepped into the kitchen and touched the kettle rather than irritate  me early in the morning.

(261) Liquid gold

I saw a program on Astro about the Italian economy. In the program they touched on the test marketing of extra virgin olive oil in Beijing.

I had a neighbor in Silver City whose cousin's year end bonus in 2000 was a cool million dollars. Of course the lady concerned lives in a mansion in a gated and guarded area with tight security. Of interest to me, the wealthy lady only uses olive oil in her kitchen. She bought different grade oil for different purposes: extra virgin for salads and ordinary olive oil for light frying.

After listening to that, I actually went to the supermarket and checked on the prices of those bottles. What I found out was that none of the different brands of liquid gold was less than two times the price of the normal cooking oil I use. And I want to point out that I am using mid range vegetable based oil. At the end I did buy one small bottle to find out why folks would pay so much for it. Among the many purposes I used it for, it was quite good as salad oil and in cooking pasta sauce. That was the last time you find olive oil in my kitchen. It is not because I don't like it, I simply feel that in order to pay for that as a daily staple, I am not willing to trim my budget to fit it in.

(255) Bed of Roses by Nora Roberts

 I find this book interesting as it dealt with unwritten codes among friends in the USA. Quite a bit of it reminded me of confidences exchanged in the dorm rooms in the middle of the night. It is certainly easier to tell your friends the difficult to talk about things if it is in the wee hours and there is dimmed lighting and preferably if there is someone asleep and the remaining two whispering in a dark corner.

Yes, I heard about the first kiss, first French kiss, the petting and necking in the back seat ... According to this book, girls tell. They expect each other to, and they themselves disclose.  Well, in my home town, things are different. I used to have a group of close friends, after being abroad for college, I was no longer that close with most of them but one. When I unexpectedly returned from America, everyone has moved on. One got married and had two children. Another was engaged and actually went on a pre-nup trip to Europe. (Well, they have registered legally as man and wife but had not gone through the Chinese ceremonies) Another two were dating seriously with the men in their lives. The rest were busy with jobs and dating around. I actually found myself a whole new set of friends and acquaintances to do things with. I must have missed out on the hot dates and the hot news of the old set because I was away. But, one incident stood out: our advertising consultant managed to grill an errant friend and found out why she chose to go work in Papua.

Now, this errant friend has always been close mouth and kept her own counsel. She has a stubborn streak and would refuse to tell if she so decides. However, she did not count on our media research friend's skills developed by countless consumer research projects funded by international companies. There our advertising consultant small talked and asked more than  sixty seemingly unrelated questions. Those questions were of two types, random ones and the related ones. By being relax and answering those questions, the end result is telling. Even if some answers were lies, our consultant could sieve them out and ask from completely different angles.

So, the consultant taxed her brain cells and came to one conclusion: our dear friend was heart broken with her hot boy friend in Borneo. While the relationship was going well, she must have slept with him (that was her first, we were certain) thinking she would eventually marry him. But she must have found out something pretty bad about him and she wanted out. Just a simple break up would not do, seemed like he was not willing to let her go and she resorted to being transferred to Papua, of all places! I'll end on a happy note, she is the proud mother of one son with a Thai husband. Of course her son is like sixteen years younger than mine as she took her time to select her lucky man and then she has some difficulty conceiving in her late thirties.

(254) Himalaya by Michael Palin

I happen to have an elder brother who continually buys and reads travel books and then generously passes them to me.

This is one book which describes places that I wish I could go. But of course I have not the financial means to travel to such far off the beaten track countries. Even if I have a sudden windfall that solves the money angle, I do not have the necessary mobility to tackle mountain paths.

It was a happy few days that I spent living my armchair traveling through Palin's eyes. I particularly want to visit Bhutan, the country with clear, clean air that is still made up of many acres of virgin temperate forest.

One day I might just go and visit a few friends who live in Kunming and add on a side trip to Lijiang. With really cheap fare offered by Air Asia, dreams do come true!

(253) To hear God

The other day Elizabeth was lamenting that she could not hear God. Since Michael went for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and was trained daily in his Discipleship Training Course to wait for God's still small voice, she made one of those rare hand phone calls to pick his brain. But for someone who has yet to hear that voice, even what he said was too stupendous.

The summer after my college graduation, I was living in a small town working in a small outfit. Every Friday night a very kind couple would pick me up for what they called home fellowship. I distinctly remember one testimony (story about one's walk with God) of a quiet and serious old man. He was deliberating over an important decision in his life as a young believer and was losing much sleep over it. One co-worker told him to seek God - meaning read the bible and ask God to speak to him. At that time, my fellowship group member was a young man feeling rather foolish when he proceeded to carry out the act of seeking God. He knelt down and asked God to speak to him concerning his problem with scripture verses. Then he thanked God and got up to sit at the study desk to read the next portion of scripture from his reading list. Lo and behold, one verse lit up and jumped at him. He could not believe his own eyes and actually went to wash his face. After a five minute break, he went back to the same line: the very same verse jumped out at him again. Then he knew that was God's answer to his problem. He thanked God aloud and went on to apply that verse to his problem. For indeed God hears and he answers his children.

A week later I was asking God what should I do : to continue in the same town or go on to a nearby University town? To work or to go to summer school? The answer came that very night, I was reading some page in the Old Testament. Three words jumped at me and was blinking: Return to Samaria. At that point I did not know where Samaria was or even who the Samaritans were. But the meaning was clear: God wanted me to return to my home country. I remember telling God that since seven years old I meant to find a way to go to America and stay on there. Although I wanted very much to be obedient to him, but would he change my heart. That He did, He changed my heart within three days: overruling a decision that I held in my heart for seventeen years. More than that, I still have three months to seek for employment, an additional visa extension of six months to be applied for. On top of all that, my host couple generously offered me a scholarship to do my Masters degree. At the very same time, an eligible pilot in the Arm Forces was courting me with my host family's permission. Despite all that, I did return home. Yes, my earthly father told me in no uncertain terms that I was stupid to return at that time. He said I could have negotiated with God and gotten my second degree first. Moreover, he said that to be married to a US pilot would mean I could travel with him to many bases around the world. But I suppose what he said was true, yet to obey is better than sacrifice. And what human could see is so very limited. To God, He transcends time and space. Thirty odd years later, it is proven that God had my well being in His mind when He asked me to return. I may not have a second degree today, neither have I traveled as much as I could have wished for; yet I am content with who I am today.

(249) Red by Ted Dekker

Red - Second Part of The Circle Series - The Heroic Rescue

In this book we have Justin (Elyon) being betrayed and put to death by a most inhumane method of drowning. Meanwhile 21st century earth was spinning out of control to imminent mass death and nuclear strikes and counter strikes.

In the final pages of this book, twelve adults and five children followed the footsteps of Justin in choosing to be drowned in the red water of the lake. Miraculously, they did not die but emerged cleansed from the dreaded skin disease the desert dwellers had. Strangely, those forest dwellers who used to dip daily in the green lake to escape from the dreaded skin disease were all affected by the disease in their brains to stay away from the lake water which by washing could no longer heal them.

It is all a paradox: with Jehovah, one chooses death of self in order to have new life. A real believer must hold his or her life loosely as in losing one's earthly life would lead to gaining eternal life. It somehow does not seem logical nor smart. Therefore, God chooses the fools to shame the wise. And only the sick would need the Great Physician. That is why we find that sometimes Buddhists and Taoists actually are much nicer people than some Christians in many churches. Perhaps the relatively more righteous people outside of the sheep fold feel less of a need for forgiveness and cleansing. When I was so sick that I could hardly stand up at age 31, only two Christian sisters could and would comfort me. Most  judged me and told me that there must be sin in my life, my illness was judgement from God. The rest shunned me, as if by walking near me or by having contact would mean they would catch my ailment.

Looking back, it was a difficult test. It must have been by the grace of God that I did not walk away from the Church or from God. Now that it has been over, I become a person that would be able to sit for hours to listen, understand, cry, and to pray with any one whom God called me to be alongside to help. It was like undergoing the refining fire, it was terrible to be burnt for the duration. But the end result is good for me and for others.

(248) Black by Ted Dekker

Black - First part of The Circle Series - The birth of evil

This book reminds me of The Time Traveler's Wife. Thomas Hunter is like the time traveler. The major difference being the fact that when Tom is asleep in America in the twenty first century, he was asleep and dreaming of another world in a different time and vice verse.

From the abandoned son of an army chaplain, Tom became an internationally known villain who kidnapped a virologist in Bangkok. The new vaccine that was just unveiled was wrenched into the bad guys' hands to become a mutated virus capable of killing billions on earth within three weeks. It was a good plot, full of suspense!

The colored forest and the innocent long living people who enjoyed the fruits and water bestowed by Elyon (the creator) paralleled the garden of Eden. Those evil black bats that have no power over the innocent people are like the fallen angels before Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit.

After being a practicing Christian for more than twenty years, I am afraid I still cannot see why nor am I able to explain fully why God created humans who are given the choice of good and evil. Yes, books explained that men cannot be truly free without such a choice. But look at what the choice led to: violence, suffering, perverse actions, evil ... But how can the created being question the creator? I bow to the deep knowing in my heart that God loves me and everyone else in this world. Yet even before the foundation of this world was laid, God already knew who would choose Him and who would reject Him. Even knowing that, He sent His son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can find a way to go back to Him. My son Kenneth said that reading this series (Black, Red, White and Green) enables him to understand Genesis (the first book of the Bible) better. I am still reading the second book Red, I cannot claim anything of this sort yet. Though I went right to the back and read both the given endings.

(246) Cullinarily challenged

The organizer called up, assuming that the fried vermicelli my family promised would be cooked by me. Honestly, I only cook three possible types of food for pot bless: fried rice, fried wanton and Chinese spinach because I have done it thousands of times that these are my fail safe food.

When my husband was courting me, I confessed that I am willing to cook for my future children but cooking is at the very bottom of my list of life skills. He said never mind, for he is a talented and great amateur cook; we would never starve. Hence we have the relationship that I prepare the food and I do the cleaning up but he would artistically cook up whatever happened to be available in the house. For I hate to shop too, my idea of nourishing myself would be to swallow some desiccated food with mugs of water and then able to not be hungry for the next 6 hours.

Genes do not lie, I look at Elizabeth attempts at cooking and realize that God has been more than kind to me. At least I could fry decent omelets and judge well how cooked or whether instant noodle is just cooked and crunchy. And interestingly Michael could whip up sinfully delicious food from funny combinations of ingredients in my fridge. Crystal is just at the stage of frying up all kinds of process meat and beginning to brew some old fashion soups her employer likes. She is in the business of geriatric care.

Just in case you think that the clutz in the kitchen is not too hot in other spheres of life, I happen to have won quite a number of full scholarships in the earlier years. Elizabeth is articulate and quite accomplished in singing, acting, music making and quite a good student if you look at her track record. Believe it or not, we are not adept at multi-step sequences like cooking. Elizabeth and I would be equally hapless in the chemistry lab. But I could have chosen to continue with a Masters in IT concentrating on expert systems, it might not have been as fun as working on children's brains and character; though the former would have been equally challenging as well. Elizabeth's professors are telling her to consider going for a Masters as she is gifted in academic writing. We will see what God has in store for her.

(244) No hope?

Today I was hopping channels among BBC, CNN, CCTV and Al Jazeera. The image that struck me was an interview with a small family in Spain. The father is jobless, the mother is unemployed and the boy is still young.

According to the man of the family, he and his wife could find no job. His parents ended up helping his family. He can see no hope for his son. What a bind for the present three generations! No wonder a fair amount of people migrate from Spain to South America. What a predicament to be in! For urban folks, there is not even land for the poor to till and grow food.

What went wrong?

I can see little human solution. One country after another went into economic crisis. But surely the Almighty who created us has good plans for each country and each individual. We have to turn to Him and He is just a prayer away.  

(243) Overcoming pain in marriages

My area of passion is on children having learning disability. It is quite effortless to remember cases and trivia as long as they belong to my category.

For my friend, it is on marriage and divorce. Whatever anyone told her, as long as it is related to either marriage or divorce, she would remember it for life. She was rattling a list of facts while I listened on: six years have passed since she left her husband, now they have reconciled. It is like falling in love for a second time with the same person. She remembered that a speaker said that it took him six years for him to really forgive his adulterous but repentant wife and have the marriage on an even footing. Then one of my friend's friend also said that she suffered for six years, after she confessed that she had an illicit relationship abroad while she was working on her post graduate studies. Her husband did not want to end the marriage but it was hard for him to be intimate with her for a long time.

Interesting! I have not come across a single woman in this country who would admit to cheating on her husband. But as a college student in USA, I used to regularly listen to all kinds of different experiences, heart ache, disaster on male-female relationships. Perhaps my current status of being a married woman does not invite confidential sharing.

(242) Money is a good servant but bad master

One mother in Silver City bought a four bedroom house before she passed on. Her three unmarried daughters stayed in it. A few years back one married daughter came back from Belgium and occupied the fourth bedroom.

The eldest of these sisters is eighty years old while the youngest is already seventy. Interestingly the one which came back from abroad has three million dollars in the bank but continues to share the house with her not so wealthy sisters. It is amazing that with such liquid wealth in the bank, she would count her dollars and her pennies. These four women would argue and quarrel about amounts as small as a few dollars in house hold expenses.

Meanwhile, the married sister's husband made sure he came at least once a year and be with his wife so that she could not divorce him. He is waiting for her to be senile so that he could declare her incompetent and grab her wealth to return to Belgium. There is inherently nothing wrong with being wealthy. But in this case the wealth is not doing much good for the owner, her husband and her sisters now. No one trusts another. Each one check and recheck bills to make sure the others are not making them pay a penny more. While the money accrues interest in the bank, five people are watching each other but no one is touching even the interest as our careful married woman survives on a small part of her monthly pension.

A few years back two dead bodies were found in a Silver City house. The daughter who was in her fifties died suddenly in front of the TV. Her mother, who was bed bound, starved to death. The house land line telephone was just a matter of ten feet away from her hospital bed in the sitting room. Later relatives found two million dollars in fixed deposit in a local bank. Those two women lived very simply, without a car and with no household helper. Looking at the house and the furnishing, one would think they were destitute.

Money in the hands of wise owners can do much good, miserly people who are slaves to money would live like paupers until the day they die.

(241-) Nightmares

A friend's teenage son had fever and woke up from a terrible nightmare with the image of having his legs dismembered and thrown over his head, the pain was sharp and he was frightened.

I am not any authority on dreams. After saying that the idea of the Boston Marathon came to mind. After the blasts many people had to have their leg or legs amputated. I saw the video images on International news repeatedly as I tried to make sense of the violence. If the teenage boy has been exposed to those images or even more explicit ones on the internet, it is little wonder that at night his mind tried to process and make sense of the blood shed.

One of my more sensitive daughters did have a vivid dream that she and her best friend were in line - those who refuse the mark of the beast would have their head chopped off. In her dream she was encouraging her best friend to go through momentary pain. In a sense that dream changed her world view, she now sees that her main purpose in life is to be encouraging her friend (s) to choose God. I am not trying to discount her conviction. But I see that our brain is like a Hollywood movie house, whatever goes through the brain during the day would be sorted and might be distorted in the night for filing purposes. Not all dreams would come true nor should every dream be taken seriously.

(240-) Language acquisition

Many years ago I used to teach remedial English in both public universities and a private college. As a rule, I would keep my six years of elementary Chinese education from my students. After I earned their respect, I still would pretend I don't understand Mandarin. But on the last lecture I would reveal the fact that I crossed over from being Chinese educated to living in the English educated group. Often, students asked me how I did it. It took genuine desire and years of discipline application.

Below I list the good habits one can form for the purpose of language learning:-

Means      channels        Media
eye           read              newspaper       books            magazines
ear           hearing          radio               CD                talking books
mouth      speak             friends            teachers         strangers
               read aloud      news               poem             stories    
               sing               pop songs        movie songs
hand        write              letters             diary              journal
eye/ear     video             U tube             VCD/DVD     TV                   movies

From age 12 to 21, I would have a piece of cardboard pinned on my bedroom wall. There would be drawn on it a chart for 3 months. Let's say that for the following three months I aspired to read :
1. The editorial page of the Sunday English newspaper
2. One fiction per week
3. One magazine per month
There would be boxes on my chart to tick and document if I do live up to expectation for that duration of three months.

As for hearing, I used to have a little transistor radio that I turned to English station as I did my home work in the afternoons. At night, I would listen to one hour of either BBC or Voice of America short wave broadcast at 11 pm to 12 am in bed. Forty years ago we used cassettes, I could hardly afford to buy anyway. There were no talking books on sale then. But on week end nights, I recall BBC used to put up plays and literature excerpts read by authors. Similarly I would record the hourly listening day by day.

When it came to speaking, it took conscious effort to find friends who would speak to me in English. At first I would open my mouth to talk to Indians girls I met in bus stops. From experience, they are usually English speaking if they are dressed in western clothes. I would join societies and carefully nurture friendships with girls who spoke English as a default language. Another group is teachers who appreciate students who venture into the staff room to ask them questions about class work.

Singing along to pop songs is a very fun way of learning colloquial English. I also used to watch musical and tried to find ways to copy the lyrics from friends. For example, I was singling "My favorite things" long before I understand individual words used by Julie Andrew in that song.

I had pen pals and wrote monthly letters. Starting from all Chinese entries in my Grade 6 diary, it changed gradually to all English entries in Grade 9. For my literature courses in college, I was keeping journal. Lately, I was laughing at the TV programs my children downloaded from the internet. A good example is the international students taught by Mr Brown in Mind Your Language. By borrowing DVD movies, I still make attempts to improve my listening skills. With the advent of 24 hours TV broadcast, watching National Geographic and Discovery Science would be wonderful avenues to improve our vocabulary.

This proverb is always true: where there is the will, we will find a way to achieve our heart's desire.

(239) Human suffering in Greece

One of my brothers work in a Bank. We were discussing about such countries like Greece, Cyprus, Spain, France ... According to him, the problem in Cyprus is unique because it is part of the European Union. While  it might not work for Cyprus to opt out of EU, it is not feasible for the single common currency to keep bailing out one country after another.

He read somewhere that one Greek Headmaster said that there were children in the city that went to school with no food in the tummy. Parents could have been unemployed for at least two years, have little marketable skills and could no longer subsist on social security that have been cut drastically. People who were formerly civil servants usually do not upgrade themselves thinking they have an iron rice bowl (unbreakable). I find urban children going hungry shocking. On our TV screen we see that refugees in Africa were fed. In fact I just saw ethnic Muslim Myanmarese walked into refugee camps on one of the International news channels. Sure, during WW2, my mother's family(one widow with five children) survived on sweet potatoes and other roots. But at least they had one meal daily. My father was old enough to run errands for the Japanese soldiers, his family had rice to eat throughout the Japanese occupation.

Pulling my view finder from Greece to my country, we also have a huge civil servant population. Similarly our debt to earning ratio is not exactly healthy. I certainly hope that the coming election would change deep seated problems like that so that we would not face in the future what Greece faces now.

(238) Lost eternally

One of Elizabeth (my youngest)'s uni mate was drown a week ago. Details were sketchy: she went to use a private college's pool, somehow she knocked her head and fainted. Once she became a dead weight at the bottom of the pool, whoever present was not strong enough to lift her up.

What really upset Elizabeth was that she actually shared bus seats on a uni trip with the deceased a few months ago. She knew the deceased was a Buddhist but she did not attempt to share the good news at the first meeting. However, Elizabeth did have a long chat with her and perhaps did conversationally mentioned that the former is a practicing Christian. After the sad news of her passing, Elizabeth went into a self-bashing mode, blaming herself for the lost opportunity.

Somehow, I see things much differently. My family was more Taoist than Buddhist. Friends have been sharing the good news with me on countless occasions for like fourteen years before the opportune moment when I saw the light. In fact, I used to hate those folks who bashed my head with their bibles, in a manner of speaking. Perhaps if those Christ Ambassadors were less active, I would have not been forced to sit in the opposition corner for so many years. While I knew those statues my parents worshiped to were not God, I strongly resented the facts that born again Christians called them idols. I honestly believe that God woos each person along the high ways and the by ways. I am not ashamed of my belief and would gladly share when someone wants to hear. But I certainly would not force, push or share with any and everyone I meet.

(237) The Report Card by Andrew Clements

This is a Scholastic book written by the author of Frindle - a two-million-copy bestseller.

The story tells of a hidden genius call Nora. She was able to appear normal from 2.5 years old to fifth grade. That shows she not only is high in her IQ, she must be full of EQ (emotional quotient) too. Most parents would love to have really smart children, but I suppose it is not easy to bring up a genius in a balanced way.

In the book a very wise teacher asked Nora why she was given such high IQ. It would probably take Nora the rest of her life to find out. I probably would not test as high on the scale as Nora. In those days I doubt any of my teachers have access to any IQ test. But I remember cooking my scores in primary school so that I don't stand out like a sore thumb. From Grade Three to Six I alternated at First and Second place with my Assistant Monitor. When he begged hard enough, I would score just low enough for him to be first in class - after all, he claimed that his father would beat him for coming second. The the next year he would boast and get on my nerve - then I would make sure I outscore him by about thirty marks in the final exam so he would come second again.

Now I can see that I was given a brain that is able to absorb facts and incidences and file them most systematically away. As Kenneth said, I don't just have on-line and off-line storage, I seemed to have the ability to instantly recall things stored away from any part of my life -- whether real life experiences, things I heard or things I read at will. This come in handy in my teaching life, I could tell interesting, one of a kind stories at the drop of a pin to wake up nodding students. Most of these stories are true too, maybe with a few minor facts altered so that the people involved would remain anonymous. There is a purpose in telling real stories, apart from entertainment. Usually I would ask for the moral lesson and more often than not, at least one person would give me the correct or an acceptable answer.

Since I have not continued in teaching for the past seven years, I have noticed that this unique memory serves me really well when people I spend time listening to tell me facts or experiences that they have never shared with anyone before. Keeping in mind that each person is unique, and the fact that I do not have a psychology degree nor am I a qualified counselor, to be able to come up with an upbeat, encouraging response use up every bit of my immense storage files.

(236) Broken Children, Grown-up Pain by Paul Hegstrom

For my readers who have followed my blog, you would know that I have the privilege to listen to 4 women in pain for the past 19 years.

I primarily saw them as former sufferers of learning disabilities. Which probably was not too far off the mark! Well! In the above book the author proposes the theory that when children went through trauma before the age of 13, they might have what was called arrested development and then they remained as children in certain areas of their lives until their minds are renewed by God.

The first lady I spent a fair amount of time listening to did not want to change her paradigm, she merely wanted to keep looking for new people to pay her sympathetic attention. The second one came to accept her troubling marriage as something she would rather keep than dissolve, she also increasingly prayed about things and issues that bothered her. About that time I moved away from Silver City.

The third one was Zelda. It was marvelous how God was gracious to her. He was restoring to her the locust eaten years of girlhood. I guess she would have to delve deeper why she has an anger problem that seems somewhat disproportionate to the incident that trigger the emotion.

The fourth one was the one whom God miraculously reconciled with  her ex-husband. Well! I suppose they would still have issues and hurts to settle for a while more. But there is nothing God could not accomplish if they only allow Him to.

This is a book that every people worker should read. I think in our imperfect world there are many people who are walking around with crippling hurts that dated back from their childhood days.

(234) Vote for a brighter future

Years ago I used to read about Soviet citizens who would make jokes and laughed about themselves and their country while waiting in line for essential goods.

Just now among a group of friends we were having a good laugh at our beautiful land which produced a bunch of folks who would purchase marine vehicles which could not submerge, would lose airplane engines from military camps, and would fly military men on civilian flights. It is really not our proudest moment!

Thank God we can still turn up and vote come the big day!

(233) A Murder is announced by Agatha Christie

On page 10 of A Murder is Announced, we read "And die on the same day and be buried in the same grave. That would be lovely." Bunch, a happy vicar's wife said this to her husband.

In real life, a fair number of people seem to take their lives for granted. My mother's neighbor, Mrs Kok, used to say that she planned to live in her present house with her husband in old age, as she expected her children to move out one by one. My mother, the realist, chose to point out to her that one day one of the pair would most likely die before the other. Then the prospect of living alone in a big house presented itself to Mrs Kok. She did not relish the idea of being all alone since women usually outlive men if they are about the same age. Since then, she no longer said that she would urge each child to move out.

My cousin lives in a small single story house. A few houses away, an old man lived alone. He seldom talked to anyone and there were few visitors. Since he did sometimes leave his house to be away for a week or two, no one was alarmed that he was not seen for a few days. The complacency lasted four days, when foul smell that came from his house caused neighbors to call him and then later the police. He was found dead seated in front of a TV that was tuned on world news.

(232) Things in storage

Moments ago a missionary couple came to collect some visual aid left by another colleague. They are going to stand in for the missionary on leave, running a course in empowering a village community to make their own decisions on literacy work.

The missionary on leave went back to take care of her father with Alzeimer's. I really sympathize with that as I see how my cousin struggles with the care of her mum. This couple who just left said that they are going on furlough in June. The convention is four years in the field, one year home on furlough. If they decide to come back, it would make a lot of sense to find a few tenants to live in their present rented house for the year that they will be away. Otherwise it would mean that they have to find an alternate site to place their household goods in storage for one year.

Next to pastor's kids, missionary kids are the one group of people that grew up with periodic upheavals throughout their childhood. Yet I have met a Swiss couple from Bern and Zurich respectively, and their daughter who married an American. All four of them are missionaries, the senior couple have been in South East Asia for most of their lives. The junior couple so far have served in different parts of Asia.

(231-) Remarry?

I have a friend who reconciled with her estranged husband. They were divorced a few years ago.

The next question is : should they remarry?

Hold your horses there! Let us be calm and reason out the pertinent facts. First of all, the legal part of the marriage costs next to nothing. My brother paid 20 Hong Kong dollars to be registered with his beautiful wife. My husband probably paid a few dollars more for our marriage cert. My poor friend actually paid S$15,000 for the dissolution of her marriage, since it was registered in Singapore. Please note: it is more than easy to be wed but it costs a horrendous amount to be divorced!

My personal opinion is there is no real need for them to sign on the dotted lines again! After all, for all the time apart they have neither had any ties with any opposite sex. They are not Muslim, no one would check for their married papers in hotels. The only people who may be bothered about their status would be their children. As long as juniors do not take their fickle parents as role models, I suppose the latter are not doing anyone any harm living as man and wife.

(230) Deputy Minister with a bogus degree

We are having election soon. It has been a long time coming.

My husband was just reading some political web sites online just now. Apparently, we have a deputy minister with a bogus Master's degree from the USA. Co-incidentally, a previous IT CEO in China also possessed a supposed degree from the same university. I guess it is easy to buy a piece of paper saying that such a person graduated from such a university in such a field. But honestly, it does not take too much time and effort to verify if such a university exists or if indeed this person is listed as an alumna.

Come election day, I will rise early and wait in line at my polling station. I will probably attend Saturday afternoon service. As a believing voter, I will trust that our sovereign God will oversee that worthy men are chosen as his Government in this nation.

(228) The Moving Finger by Agatha Christie

In her story, a woman received a poison pen letter accusing her of having a son with someone other than her husband. She was found dead after a daily nap, with a note saying "I cannot go on ..." That was a fictional account, I am sure.

However, in real life I have come across one parallel case. A friend of mine is married to man with five brothers. One of those brothers has a young son with some congenital defect that could be fatal if not treated. In order to find a suitable bone marrow donor, all the uncles as well as the nucleus family members went for blood tests and tissue typing.

All five brothers were gathered in the home of the affected boy. They proceeded to compare test results. All six men were trained in science. One glance at the blood types, their faces paled. My friend, who is married to one, could not comprehend anything even when she looked at the myriad result; since she was in the arts stream as early as lower secondary school. Being alert and curious, she quietly memorized each individual result and consulted me when she came home.

Being conservative Chinese, the entire incident was swept under the carpet and not mentioned again. It is clear that at least three of the six brothers were conceived from man or men other than the legal father. By now, the long suffering father had died. The mother who has led such a colorful life is rather old and is becoming senile. Little wonder that the old woman would complain that throughout her married life, her husband had beaten her time and again. In the old days, wife beating was somewhat tolerated and not many couples would divorce even if there was spousal abuse. It is interesting that deep secrets such as these could not be submerged for long. I guess this saying explains it somewhat: old sins cast long shadows.

(225) They Came to Baghdad by Agatha Christie

This is one of Christie's big picture of the entire world being threatened by a bunch of bad guys story. What I truly enjoyed reading about is Victoria, the impressionable young girl who could "follow" a handsome guy to the other side of the world. After all, there is nothing much in common between London and Baghdad.

Yet, through a series of danger and muddling, she met someone she would probably marry later on should the story has a sequel. What I admire most about her is the fact that she was able to make the best of everything that happened to her. Most importantly, she could learn from her own perceived mistakes. If it was foolhardy to fall in love with a good looking guy who was arrogant and evil, she next chose a slightly older chap who was solid and dependable.

I have a childhood friend who married twice. The first husband was a widower with three boys. Whatever reason she has for choosing him, it was not because he had a lot of time to spend with her. After all, he was a busy specialist doctor. None of her friends know much about why she left him: if it was difficult to be a step mother to three boys? He was nasty to her? She felt badly neglected? A couple of years later, she remarried. This time round it was to a younger guy from another country. He loves her enough to relocate to be with her initially.  Even though they remained married for a much longer period, she failed to bear any children. Lately, I heard that he spent more time in his own country than with her. Knowing that he is an only child, I won't be surprised that he started another family in his home country to ensure that he has descendants (traditional Chinese view having heirs as extremely important).

Should there be a third marriage (since my friend is still a most attractive lady although she is in her early forties now), I certainly hope that she will have learnt from her first and second marriages. Let the third man love her, be good to her and will stick to her through thick and thin.

(224) Age of great mobility

I came back from an inter-denominational prayer gathering. Around the table sat seven individuals. Winnie just came back from a few weeks in Indonesia. She founded a scattering of pre-school classes in the highlands and still raises fund for the literacy project.

Evon visited her social worker friends in China. Mr and Mrs Sebastian just came back from Miri. My husband is going on a trip in two weeks to Chiangmai to look up friends. That left Emily and I who did not go anywhere the last month and we have no trip planned for the next month.

We belong to an age of high mobility. Air tickets are relatively cheap thanks to budget airlines. We talked about the avian flu in China. Yet none of us fear enough to curtail our jetting about. None of us are in business nor do we work for corporations. Most of us are semi-retired or self-employed. No wonder any virulent bug gets passed from passenger to passenger and within days it could spread all over many countries.  

(220) The Boston explosions

My husband has a good friend living in Boston. As far as I know, he run in quite a few of the Boston Marathons previously. When I heard about one of the three dead was an eight year old boy, my heart did not rest until his name was announced and a photo was flashed. My husband's friend has an only son around that age. It was not that boy as I feared.

The CNN special report on the Boston incident was clear and informative. It is tragic that such a healthy event on a cool spring day was turned into a blood bath. Apart from the three dead, about 25 were seriously injured out of more than 140.

Think about it, nobody would or could imagine such a horrific thing happening. After all, for family members and friends of the participants, it would be natural to gather near the finishing line. Whoever who placed the bombs must hate America enough to want to inflict such terrible wounds (amputations of  legs) on folks who merely show love and support to their loved ones! After all, the wounded ranged from age 2 to 71. These are ordinary citizens, they are not VIPs nor are they policy makers. Of all cowardly acts, this is surely one of the lowest of the low!

(219) The safest place for my money

Ever since I heard about Cyprus' financial crisis, I have been watching international news whenever I have the chance.

This seems to be the first case of having depositors being penalized for saving when the nation require bailing out. Even though Cyprus is a small nation, depositors of other nations would be affected. I wonder if those who are affected are from Cyprus or are they mainly from Russia as reported? Today I heard from a middle eastern TV news that badly affected depositors are given Cyprus citizenship.

When I mentioned the last bit to my husband, he doubted any foreign depositors would want to live in Cyprus with the current financial climate. Now I see why Asians prefer to convert liquid wealth of a certain strata to real estate. A piece of land or a building could not be taken away by any financial institution as easily. Real estate in prime sites would appreciate over a period of years too.

I have long ago given up my career to bring up my children. Since my husband had a business failure, I have learnt to live a simple life. Whatever little surplus I have, I give away to God's work. In that sense, I don't have to worry about any authority taking away my wealth in any local or foreign bank. God is no man's debtor, the bread I have cast over the water did come back in ways I earlier could not imagine.