I really enjoyed reading this folksy style of writing. I felt like I was sitting on a shaded porch having ice tea with Anne on a sunny but cool day, listening to her life story.
Who wouldn't have thought back to the many forks along the road of life that one didn't take? I did look back, many a time. Not that I could go back, I wouldn't want to, anyway.
When I was twenty two years old, I received a marriage proposal from a much older man from Hong Kong. I ran away without leaving any contact details. He was too straight, did not know that he could order all the freshman bulletins of colleges surrounding Washington D.C. and would be able to locate me. If he had persistently courted me then, I might have married him. But then he told me prematurely that he was relocating to Aspen to open his first eatery, he would wait for me to finish my Master's degree. Then we would have four children and I would be expected to grace his restaurant as the cashier and boss lady. In other words, he frightened the hell out of me. I did not know when I would want marriage. Neither did I know if I want any children. He simply was trying to tie me down too early, he was not an unsuitable person but appeared a little too dictatorial. Thus he lost his chance.
Then after graduation, a Texan Navy Pilot was courting me. Everything looked good, even my stand-in guardians approved of him. After I decided not to attend University of Texas as a graduate student, I left the States abruptly. I figured, if you are a pilot, flying to the far east would not really be impossible. There were my home address and phone number in the student records. My guardians who were very fond of me did come for a visit a year later. Poor, defeated guy just gave up. If he had wanted to, my guardians would have given him the information. Well, it was not meant to be. Until today, his photo still resides in my student album. My youngest, who is a romantic, looked at his eyes wistfully and wondered aloud that had I married him, would she have blue eyes? Genetically speaking, most unlikely. She became very disappointed. Well, if she really wanted to, she could marry a Scandinavian and hope for the best in the eye colour of her offspring.
Then, choosing between my present husband and another suitor, I took my mum's advice. Looking back, it was smart and practical of me. The loser looked better, had a higher education and a better job than my choice of a partner. The only thing against him was his wealth and his father's three wives. Or maybe I should say one legal wife and two concubines. With money, it is quite acceptable socially here to have one proper and legally wed wife, then progressively other lesser female who agreed to various arrangements in the sixties, seventies ...
Now I have many grown children. My husband is reasonably good to me. Of course he is not perfect. But neither am I. Finally I am free to write as I wish because my free time is mine. I doubt things would have been like this easy if I picked any of the above men. Perhaps as a Hong Kong wife, all my working hours (would be long in a restaurant) would be occupied, all free time might be spent organising mah-jong parties for family and relatives. As a Navy pilot wife, overseas bases would be my home around the world, that is, if he lives. Otherwise I might have been a military widow. Alternatively, life as a Chinese daughter-in-law to three mothers-out-laws would surely be no fun.
So, you see, thank you very much. I have absolutely no regrets. I am happy with my present, only life.
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