(1029) Disappearing Sons

Recently two neighbours and I got together and had breakfast. Among many topics, we talked about our sons.

Kimberly's son took a job at the other end of town and decided to stay in company hostel. Jemima's elder son went to work in Dubai. The second one got married lately and moved out. My eldest has been in northern Kalimantan for four years or so. Janice's elder son bought a house and moved out. The second one has been lost for two years in between school and career. He must have found a job out of town and gotten started lately. Cathy's son has not been seen for about six weeks, we guessed he moved in with his girl friend.

Strangely, the girls are around. Kimberly's daughter finished school and started working. Jemima's daughter is in her late thirties and still bringing up her children in the neighbourhood. Cathy's daughter is a tour guide, off and on I still see her in between trips. Come to think of it most of my neighbours have more sons than daughters. My daughters are still home.

For my mother's generation, sons are more important than daughters. Things are totally different now, I think most women prefer daughters. Still, those with rich husbands are somewhat under pressure to have at least one son.

My mother has had three years of education post Second World War. She still reads Chinese newspaper. The lack of higher education and non-existent career caused her to depend on her men folk for finances. She lives with her eldest son according to age-old Chinese custom. I happened to marry a second son and therefore has no such obligation to house my in-laws. Anyway, my father-in-law was a government servant with pension income that takes care of his wife beyond his death.

Kimberly is gainfully employed beyond her retirement. Jemima is planning to seek her fortune in a faraway Western country after Chinese New Year. I am living simply with a semi-retired husband and am publishing a book each year. Janice is a babysitter that operates from home. Cathy is independently rich with inherited wealth. None of us plan to live with our eldest son, though none of us dare to say we don't need them as each of us grow older, who know what old age might bring. We are all fortunate to be well educated under the post British colonial educational system. We each of us is far better off than our counterparts in Africa or rural parts of India. Say what one wants to, colonial system is not all negative as historians portray it to be.