(1027) An Interesting Marriage

The other day I was giving my six-cent worth of suggestions to a friend who lives two weeks in Singapore and two weeks in Malaysia. First one is the company my youngest child interned in was recently reorganised, it is a publishing house with offices both in Kuala Lumpur and Singapore. Since working in such a place is highly stressful, personnel turnover is high. My friend Ms S could look for a job in such a place and work in both offices. That company centralised its departments into parts of Asia instead of individual entities in each country. She has been editing for friends for years. Recently she proof reads as a part-timer for the company mentioned above.

The second is I think if she writes a collection of marriage stories, I would volunteer to sell it to my crowd. After all, my eldest is a big-picture editor, my youngest is a meticulous proof reader and my husband is a self-taught publisher. Since I hardly expect her to take up my crack-pot ideas, I might as well write up my contributions to her imaginary book.

There is a young man I know, let us call him Howard. He picked up a girl friend when he was in Form Four. Everyone predicted the calf love not to last. Everybody was wrong. He did marry her in his mid-twenties. Counting on my fingers, I see nine years of courtship. She ended her education at Form 5 and he went on to earn a Bachelor's degree part-time. She works in retail food and he actually has three jobs. Howard sells insurance, has been enterprising in starting some on-line business and also his day corporate job. They have two children. From all angles, it is a happy marriage.

The interesting part came when Howard's mom went to stay with them to care for their two children. The lovely kitchen remain a decorative space until the old lady started cooking in it. The lovely wife does not cook at all, not even in boiling an egg for breakfast. All the cleaning, laundry, ironing... are done by Howard. Yet it is a willing buyer, willing seller situation. There is no argument, no quarrel, no disharmony of any kind. Perhaps one can see the one possible reason why Howard's wife lost one of her brothers at age thirty five to a fatal stroke. Assuming the same sort of dynamics work in the deceased's household, the deceased probably had three jobs, and the would-be widow did not lift a finger in terms of housework.

 One thing out of the ordinary we notice is that even in public, quite a few years after the wedding, Howard would sit right next to his wife and half lean against her. She would be stroking his palm, apart from eating, the loving stroking would go on hour after hour in a gathering. When the palm turns red, she would be playing with his fingers.

I suppose one gets what he wants from the spouse, he would be more than happy to take over her entire role except in childbirth. Life can be stranger than fiction. Yet Howard is happy. His wife is happy. Each of the two children is still young. Perhaps their boy will one day be a very good catch for some couple's daughter, who is willing to participate in public love play(that is seldom seen in Malaysia).