Wednesday, October 31, 2012

(97) The Know-them-all parents

My husband's best friend from Uni days happened to have come from within five Km of my parents in law's home. Ever since he married his beloved who hailed from a northern island, he has changed jobs and then moved to his wife's territory.

One time we went to his city and looked him and his family up. When his wife took the children to the rest room, my husband asked if he returned often to our home town. He made a face and said,"It is very difficult to have parents who are successful in their respective careers!" On reflection, I realized his father climbed rather high in the civil service ladder and then retired early to start a business. His mother did rather well in a Bank and later retired to help in her husband's business. For people who have had no set backs in their lives, it is easy for them to expect their children to do better. But times have moved on. What their children face now is not what they faced twenty years ago.

His parents probably were not gracious in their reaction and words to their only son and daughter-in-law. The worst part is that it seemed every company he joined seemed not to last five years, it was not true to assume he wanted to change jobs. Yet it would be futile to expect him to want to join his know-it-all parents in their business. It was bad enough to hear discouraging things on a weekly basis. Life would become unbearable if he were to work for them.

I could well imagine how his mother would react to his wife who chose to take care of her children herself and home make. The older lady would take it as a lack of ambition or straight laziness. The truth could be she wanted to give her best years to her children and bond with them. A close knit family is more important than financial security to some people.

As his parents badgered him and his family, he just drew closer to her side who were encouraging and supportive. It is very natural and unavoidable.

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