Our accountant friend was making a phone call during our high tea. She sounded harassed and was trying to find out details for her own appointment later in the evening. Once her call ended, Mei asked why did she not know what she was supposed to do with the client in her own meeting?
The reply was that her husband made the appointment for her. He told her about it as soon as he reached home the day before. At that time she was working at her computer and could not leave the program. As he was telling her, he kept walking away and she could not hear what he said after he turned a corner and walked into the kitchen. She concentrated on her own task and thought she would ask him later. When she looked for him, he was taking a bath. Next they were having dinner and other issues with the children claimed their attention. She forgot all about it until the following afternoon.
Comments were made. It seemed that all the women gathered there have at one time or other had to run after their husband to make sure they do not miss out on important information. One or two of them hated to have to off cooking fire to go ask for missing info. Others often had to switch off the electric iron to leave the room to hear the rest of the instructions. Lily was the only "smarty pants" who has actually found a way to make the husband finish the conversation before walking off.
Guess what was the reaction of the accountant? She thought it wrong of Lily to "bully" her husband! I am too lazy to go and look up the proper term : there is a word that describes women using age, money, power, authority, peer pressure ... to subjugate other women and make sure that every other woman suffer the same fate as an unfortunate victim. It is one thing to be subjugated willingly oneself: that probably was the price of being married (which is not unusual at all around here). It is quite another to willfully and systematically use words to victimize or subjugate other women!
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