The first few years I came back to the capital city, I was listening to two ladies. One you have read about in the last blog.
The other travels between Thailand and my city. I guess any person who marries a foreigner takes a chance of having to choose between two countries. I almost did that. Had I stayed on in Texas after college, I could have ended up marrying a naval pilot many years ago.
My friend seemed to have improved from her difficult days for years. She reconciled with her husband and children. She was lucky to be able to keep her own home in her hometown and divide her time between her marital and her personal home.
Her son is working and her daughter will be going to work on her second tertiary qualification. Things sound ideal. Yet she is unhappy. After 34 years, I was shocked when I realized she was not even a permanent resident of her husband's country today. She did not renew it after some misunderstanding.
After thousands of hours of listening, I finally realized her real problem is not her husband. I am not saying that he is perfect. But the central issue is her clinginess to her children. Until she is happy with herself and builds her own life apart from her husband and children, she would be lost.
Yet, I don't know how to tell her without hurting her. After all, I am not a counsellor. My policy is I listen and I empathize, I don't give advice. Therefore I do not plan to tell her anything. It is a good thing that she has other friends. Once I fly to Borneo for a few months, she probably would not call me. I have come so far with her, she has to advance with others from now on.
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