Wednesday, November 28, 2012

(156) The old Chinese wish to die at home

Today my friend Susie told me that after her dad passed on, her mum lived on her own. The deceased old lady was rather domineering. One would not expect her only son and daughter-in-law to take her in. But during her final illness, they did bring her home after the doctor declared from that point on it was paliative care only. Shortly after, she breathed her last. A month or so later, the son sold his house and moved temporarily to a rented house before looking for a suitable property to purchase.

My father did not get his wish of dying at home. When his eldest son purchased a new house many years prior to his death, he chose to sell his and moved to the son's. It is customary for the eldest son to look after the old parents in his house till they die. At the last week of his life, he could not even stand up. We simply did not have the facility to use wheel chair in my brother's house: the bathroom door was too narrow. Nobody dares to take him home, apart from logistics, there is no nurse or doctor in our family. We are also not wealthy enough to hire any private nurse.

Anyway, my mother is glad today that my deceased father was not brought home as he requested. Otherwise she might be afraid to sleep in their bedroom. You may think she is a coward. She is indeed a woman of many fears. But God is kind to spare her, shortly after my brother took her home, I turned up and was by my father's bedside during his last moments. The doctor gave him two weeks, therefore I was there to make him as comfortable as possible. It just so happened that my Chinese Congregation Pastor turned up to pray for him. My dad listened to the prayer, gasped and was gone.

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