(1289)#Tiger Mom

I met and befriended a widow while I stayed near the General Hospital in Silver City. She was a kind soul. Although she was 76 years old, she regularly shopped for the shut-ins within walking distance of her house. One of her 'clients' was an 87-year old, a mother of 10 children. The "client's" husband died ten years before that. Her surviving children were six boys, and two girls. Somehow, out of that, she was estranged from all her sons. Still, the eldest daughter came to wash the old mother's clothes twice a week. This daughter was 68 years old. The youngest daughter would come once a month from a city two hours away, bearing rice and other staples. The 'client' must have treated each child differently. What had happened to the six sons and their families? Why did each of the six leave their aged mother to live alone, never visiting or sending money? I could not even guess what had happened, until I met Mei Ling in China while visiting my uncle's family. Mei Ling worked as an hourly-paid maid for a few families in the neighbourhood. She had five children, three daughters and two sons.

First came Fish and Veron, a pair of identical twins girls. They were both qualified accountants. Next we have Apple, a female teacher posted to Tibet. The fourth, Archie and the youngest, Jude, were adopted fraternal twins. Both were lawyers, Archie worked in Shanghai, and Jude in Beijing.

All these grown children had good jobs and were married. One would think that Mei Ling would be living in clover. As things went, Mom made Fish and Veron work hard for many, many years, to pay for their younger siblings' education. Once the youngest graduated, Mei Ling released the accountants from supporting her, for life.

Perhaps because a teacher earned far less than accountants, Mei Ling did not ask for monthly contribution from Apple. Every year she visited Tibet and enjoyed being taken on sightseeing trips. Archie, the elder twin, sent two hundred Yuan every month to Mom, citing high living standards in Shanghai. Jude sent one hundred from Beijing, giving the reason that his wife earned far less than him. Poor Mei Ling could not live on their three hundred and her little pension, therefore she went out to oblige her richer neighbours. It was interesting to note that the further away an offspring lived from old mum, the latter thought better of him or her and did not expect too much from them. As Fish and Veron lived close by, the old lady expected far too much, and kept finding fault with them. The mother could not say one thing good about either of them. She was proud of the two lawyers who were far away from her, and sang praises of the teacher who hosted her yearly. Listening to Mei Ling abusing the two nearby daughters verbally, I could sympathise with them for being wary of her.

Going back to my widow friend's 'client', I will describe an update I heard recently:- The number 7 son came back to visit his old mum with thoughtful, though not very costly gifts. A neighbour happened to be visiting the old ady and witnessed the entire incident. Old mum was sarcastic and abusive in her comments. When the son gave her an ang pow (red packet containing money), she opened it and found four $50 bills. She was livid, all of his small gifts and the money from the red packet, was flung out of her door. She shouted a tirade of abuses and scolded him for giving her so little to last a whole year. The poor young man picked up the money, bundled up the gifts and walked sadly away to wait for a bus. He was poor, and had saved for an entire year to come back to see his aged mum. It would mean a trip on three different buses, before he would finally reach his rented room half a day later in a far-off city.