(1336) Jess 3

Jess3 is a single mum. Her husband gambled away their jointly owned marital home. He ended it all by hitting an embankment with his old car.

Jess3 picked up the pieces by raising her two children. Elder son ended up with the wrong company. As soon as he was employed, he acquired a few credit cards. Uncontrolled spending almost made him a bankrupt within a few months. Her younger daughter was physically abused by an ill-chosen babysitter during mum's marital woes. The damaging effects of physical abuse was not treated. No police report was made. The child did not see any therapist. Seventeen years later, she moves from job to job. Employers cited her poor attitude. But I think she experienced communication gaps unwittingly, as she had lived too long in her own thought or dream world to adjust to having to be fully attentive at work.

A counsellor Jess3 talked to, suggested that she should deliberately leave her past behind by changing her name. She attempted to forgive and forget her deceased husband. That seemed to help, once she changed her name she found a better paying job that she enjoyed.

(1335) Jess 2

Jess2 migrated to New Zealand with her dad. Her mum passively refused to go along. A month before their supposed departure date, mum killed herself.

Interestingly, Jess2 married a rich man's son and returned to her home town. I wonder why she took the trouble to leave this country. With inherited wealth as well as married money, she struggled with four young children with no household help. She became run-down, haggard, and looked twenty years older than her real age.

While she could financially afford to deliver each child in New Zealand, she haggled with child care providers in her hometown. She was terribly calculative with her few remaining friends. Dealing with depression, she mumbled about her future was all already written in the genes. Those of us who knew her past, feared that eventually she would kill herself too. Yet who could help a person who was secretive, distant and suspicious?

The fact that she grew up with maids in her childhood home, did not help her adult life as a homemaker. With much wealth to spare, she chose to do every bit of house work and ferry each child herself. She worked herself to a frazzle.

(1334) Jess 1

There are three women with the same English name, here I will pick the name "Jess".

Jess1 had a high school sweet heart. After quite a few years of working in the corporate world, she grew distant from him by and by. Later she married into a good family who was growing rich. Her husband made his personal fortune in the IT line. She lives in an expensive house, drives a late-model large car. She has three boys, who rebelled and hardly talked to her. She is rich, but struggles with normal house work. Her sitting room is like a war zone, one could hardly find any chair to sit on. Clothes (dried but not folded), books, magazines and other reading material lie everywhere.

Her successful husband increasingly travels to avoid scenes at home.

In contrast to that, her ex-boy friend managed to get by running a shoe-string agency with a humble wife who sews for a living. This couple married late in life, they have no children. It is a quiet but happy life.

I have sat in my friend's car and had a glimpse of her when she popped out of her house to pick up something my friend brought. Judging by one of her boys, she probably had had some difficulty to overcome during her school days. Otherwise he would not find it hard to handle languages in a government school. Then the fact that she actually volunteers to teach poor children who could not catch up in schools kind of pointed to the fact that she probably had some experience in that line.

(1333) Antics

A friend's second son gave her quite a bit of a headache. The family moved from a wooden house with palm leaf roof, to a concrete house. To the adults, it was a distinct improvement. The four year old refused to ease himself, kept on insisting he wanted to go back to the old house.

After three days, the poor father drove him back to use the rustic outdoor toilet. The father explained that the old house was sold to another family, that visit had to be the last. The little boy deposited his considerable load in the old out house and promised that he would be good from then on. Sure enough, he did not give his mum anymore problem from then on.

Today this young man graduated with a double degree of electrical engineering and business administration in record time from a prestigious university. He was recruited to work in the famed economic unit of a neighbouring country. Out of his generation of young men, he had done well.

A cousin's eldest son would wait for his father to be home before he used the toilet for his number two, daily task. His mother found the habit baffling and frustrating. It was just as well his father's job did not entail business travel. Otherwise the little fellow would have serious elimination problem long term.

After Primary school, he successfully sat for an entrance exam which enabled him to skip two grades. A new International School in his vicinity accepted him in advance standing and waived half the fee to enable his parents to enrol him. After Grade 12, he completed his A-level equivalent and entered a full fledged university before he was 18. He also ended up in the little island nation that attracted many talented young people from my country.

Is it co-incidental that these two boys had such an unusual preference or habit? Both of them are extremely bright. Or could it be that such brilliance in the upper storey came with minor eccentricities?

(1332) Cultural Part 2

The native young man in part 1 applied for an apartment from a government agency. A successful applicant would pay $140 every month for 10 years, then the unit he occupies would be his: a 3-room apartment.

It was not easy to be chosen. Sabah is the poorest state in the country. Amazingly, he heard from an unofficial grape vine, that his name was picked from a lottery system. Unfortunately, a cousin of his mother who worked in the agency unlawfully gave it to the cousin's brother.

What was shocking to me was: nobody complained! Interestingly, an uncle of the young man in question also worked in that agency. The uncle was higher in rank, but he was of a different section. When his sister confronted him in private, he said he did not do anything wrong. The wrong doer was not his subordinate. He would never allow his underlings to do such things. After all, he had no jurisdiction over the bad guy.

So, what will happen to this poor couple? They would stay put and multiply. Would the structure last forever? No! Will it fall ultimately? Yes! Could someone be hurt? Yes again. Then, this entire saga with names and details would undoubtedly appear on the internet and turn viral. Maybe the public would donate towards the homeless and the injured. Finally, this family may be given a house then. No wonder forty years ago, my dad said this is a lovely part of our nation, but it would not progress and prosper. He worked here about for two years. Now I know the true reason why.

(1331) Fresh Eggs

This morning I noticed trays of eggs being sold in my favourite noodle shop. As I just brought enough money for breakfast, I returned there on my second journey out to buy vegetables.

Apparently those eggs packed in transparent pink cases were from a former rabbit farm in Mile 15. In Malaysia this is a common way referring to places by the distance from a town centre. I bought a pack of ten Grade B eggs at $8.50. Before the COVID pandemic, the rabbit farm was a popular destination for families during week-ends, and school trips on week days. After a few shutdowns lasting many months, the poor owners had to transform their business model to survive during these difficult times.

I am an egg lover. When I could, I actually prefer to buy eggs from dedicated suppliers from wet markets. With the coronavirus lurking in crowded places, I haven't bought anything from any wet market for at least 10 months. So far I have tried supermarkets, minimarkets and a meat shop around my neighbourhood. The best eggs in terms of freshness come from a place called Popular New mini market. The worst was from the meat shop. After a good run of about 3-4 months, I was confident enough to buy a tray of 30 eggs at one go. Sad to say, there were two eggs right in the middle of the tray that was stinky and black.

The very next trip, I complained about the two bad eggs to the cashier. She was apologetic and said to bring it back, they would replace them anytime. But I don't think I want to bag hydrogen sulphide and keep it for days in my kitchen until I do drive to the out-of-the-way shop. It was not her fault, it could have been the packer in the farm, or the repacker in the shop. It was obvious that whoever it was, had purposefully substituted bad eggs among the good ones. It could not have beeen done by mistake. That was my last visit to the shop, and I found an alternative place to shop for meat, so I have been off eggs until I was going to two miles away anyway, to pick up good eggs.

Each egg may cost 55cents, it is not the money I mind losing. It was the shock of breaking an egg that "exploded" and have stinky gas everywhere in a place of food preparation. It was having to deal with the toxic remnant of bad food in my food containers. Perhaps even having to throw away a few good egg mixtures, just because a a few drops of contamination! It is the feeling of being swindled. As a free consumer with a car and lots of free time to shop, I refuse to deal with dishonest merchants who took advantage of customers paying them good money and being inconvenienced with bad eggs.

(1330) Cultural Part 1

A good friend of mine is a native of Sabah. Her parents were subsistence farmers living on their ancestral land. Somehow they brought up 11 children on a few acres of shifting cultivation agriculture. The father has passed on. The mum is still mobile and healthy.

Six years ago I visited my friend's village. As far as I could see, the family lived in three wooden houses on stilts built by the local Government. These are communal houses allotted to the poor. As long as the families continue to reside there, they are the rightful owners. Once the building is abandoned, then it will revert back to Governement.

The house on the extreme right belongs to the eldest sister, who is a widow. She has stayed there since the house was given to her husband. Her children are all grown up and scattered. She lives with an unmarried daughter and a teenage grandson. The widow lives by selling rice wine, and her daughter is a dressmaker working from home. The boy attends a nearby school.

The house in the middle used to be a dwelling of the second son's family. As he prospered in the city, his growing family joined him there. My friend is the only one who has not bought nor built her own house. During a previous family council, it was agreed by all parties concerned that it will be hers if she claims it. She did. For now, one brother and a nephew stays in the house during week days, acting as caretakers for her. By the time her nephew finishes his secondary school, she probably has to move there to keep the house.

The house on the left was occupied until my friend's father died. It was left empty for a few weeks. Then a newly married nephew moved in. Everything sounded wonderful until I heard that the house has not been upkept nor repaired since I visited it 6 years ago. I was shocked, to say the least. Here I have to explain that cultures vary from place to place. While folks in the peninsular would probably assume the free tenant would repair the house communally owned, in Sabah the expectations are different. After all, the tenant was given permission to stay in the house. This person would never own the house legally. Therefore, nobody would expect him to pour money into repairing the house. I asked, "What if the house falls down in a freak storm?" Well, if that happens, then it happens! There you see the fatality aspect of the local aboriginal life.

(1329) Overcomers: Third Child

One thing about listening to people's life story, the listener may choose not to ask any questions. For most people, there is a need to talk during social discourse.

As a listener, I only know two pieces of facts about the third child. It is a young woman who struggled through her first and only degree. She could be anywhere between the ages of 25 to 33 and, is single. Depending on her age, she was an observer of her elder sister's disastrous marriage, and her elder brother's rather unfortunate first courtship, either as a teenager or in her twenties.

If she has a strong personanlity, she may not be adversely affected. After all, her siblings are completely different from her. She may be lucky in love and wise in marriage. A woman can choose her friends and spouse(s).

(1328) Beau

One would assume beautiful and intelligent women would marry well.

In reality, the answer is not always. If you have read my previous blog (1326) Overcomers: Second Child, then you see it illustrated a beautiful and intelligent woman who married a philanderer in haste, and repented at leisure.

Do you think that she was blinded by his good looks and wealth? Could it be that he had always been a womaniser but she was confident of reforming him? Or could it be that she was an absentee wife who was really married to her profession? Whatever it was, the divorce was unavoidable and final for her. She was obviously an ambitious woman who places her career above any husband of hers.

Now we look at another beautiful and intelligent single girl. She was a Petronas scholar and studied in United Kingdom. After graduation, she held a good position in the oil and gas industry, that was way before fracking, and sudden price slump in petroleum. While she was a student, she became engaged with an eligible young man with a bright future.

He visited her parents to formally ask for her hand in marriage.The parents were pleased with the match. However, there was a catch. Upon the nuptial, the girl's parents would purchase a very nice detached house in the girl's name. When both parents passed on, the couple would have to take the younger brother who could not care for himself, into their home. Of course there would be a trust fund left to be administered by the sister of this special needs boy.

Apparently the requirement was in cast iron, there was no place for negotiation. The suitor was quite willing to assume the care if the imbecile was to live next door to him and his wife. After all, the would-be wife was the only sibling of her mentally challenged brother. In the end, the young man refused to accept the condition, and broke up with his fiancee. A year later, he met a better alternative and got married. Beauty and intelligence do not equate EQ in matrimony.

(1327) Doppelganger

When married women get together, one topic is children, and the other is husbands.

My long time friend told a roomful of married matrons that if anyone ever saw her husband walking around with a sweet young thing, do not tell her. I think she was in her late forties then. The group descended on her and every one had a different opinion. I was really amused and did not take part in the free-for-all. It was rather fun to see so many of them arguing with excitement and red faces.

I sat by the window and thought, it was most unlikely I'd see her husband anywhere. Firstly I seldom go out, a writer often lives in the world of thoughts and solitude. Secondly, he is definitely two classes above me economically, we would not go to the same establishment. After all, he owns factories in Vietnam and China.

Life is strange. My husband loves to collect discount coupons and eat at expensive places at reduced prices. One day, he talked me into visiting an out-of-the-way shopping mall in the morning to make use of a soon expiring coupon. We walked into an Italian restaurant and breakfasted on pizza. I did love American pizza as a student, but generally I steered clear of Malaysian pizza. Sometimes one has to compromise to keep the peace in a marriage.

We were seated two tables from the main entrance. After ordering, I excused myself to visit the ladies, walking out of the main entrance. On the way out, it seemed my husband and I were the only patrons. On the way back, I took the side entrance and I saw a middle-aged man with a college-aged girl seated way at the back in a secluded corner. At first glance, he was a spitting image of my old friend's husband.

I did not dare to look again. After all, she had made it clear that she did not want to know. There was not much point confirming my impression, it is best to let sleeping dogs lie. My face must have shown my shock, my husband immediately asked if anything was wrong. I told him my suspicion, and he was curious. After our meal, it was his turn to go to the gent's and he took a good look on the way back. We both saw the guy five years ago, he had his hair then. Now this man looked exactly like him but was bald. We agreed we must have found a doppleganger of the man in question. It could be him, or it could be a stranger that looked like him. And we left it at that. Till today, I did not tell anybody of this incident, until this blog post.

(1326) Overcomers: Second Child

The second child is a daughter. She too, holds two degrees from renowned universities. Moreover, she has a jet-setting job that brings her to over four continents. Her yearly income exceeds $348,ooo.

She married the most eligible bachelor of the year. His father is a rich and well-known Datuk(a local title conferred by royalty, like knighthood, Sir in UK). All things went well until her double promotion that led to flying all over the place for meetings and projects. Her friends, neighbors, relatives and family all advised her to scale down her international travel. It seemed everyone in town knew about her handsome husband's exploits except her. With the help of her family and neighbours, she finally caught her husband red-handed in the marital bed with a notorious model. She moved out the same day and divorced him soon after, despite his pleadings and apologies.

She is thirty-four this year and kind of decided to go it alone. After all, she does not need money from any man. She certainly does not need problems from a troublesome husband. She lives for her exciting job and enjoys going to different parts of the world. Her sister lives next door and her brother somewhere down the road. Her affluent father made sure the children live near each other and keep an eye on each other's properties when one is away. He gave them $200,000 each as down payment for the houses.

(1325)Overcomers: First Child

Eric and his wife have three children, well, not kids anymore. Their eldest is a male, thirty seven years old this year. He holds two degrees and works in a good company at a responsible position that pays seventeen thousand a month(204,000 a year). As far as academics and career go, he has got it made.

However, he happened to choose a girlfriend who is so much younger than he was, a cradle snatcher. As things went, he undertook to financially provide for her tertiary education. After all, he had made up his mind to marry her. But even such an understanding would not account for a friendly loan between the two sets of parents of an amount entailing 5 digits, which was never returned. Whatever financial undertaking it was, it defies understanding that a few years after the break up (when the ex-girlfiend graduated), the son still receives bank correspondence demanding payments. Apparently the girl was not innocent, she totally made full use of him as a sugar daddy for as long as she was in college. The day she graduated, she broke up with him and switched to another handsomer younger man.

Heart break is one thing, being able to trust another person after such a betrayal must be difficult. After a few years of loneliness, he found a second person closer to his age. The potential bride is the elder of three girls, who came from a single parent household. Now Eric and wife looked at their son's situation, and are rather wary of the mother-in-law moving in with their only son. Since they contributed $200,000 to purchase a house for their son, they stipulated that the in-laws could live nearby, but never move into the house they paid a lump sum, and had a stake in.

Chinese are notorious for forcing their children to be super achievers in school and at work. Could it be that all those restrictions and discipline, would eventually limit the children's social development, as well as produce gullible adults who could not detect gold diggers?

(1324) Overcomers: Her

In the case of Eric's wife, her early years were difficult too. Her dad chalked up heavy debts and then disappeared overnight, leaving his wife and three children. The poor woman worked as a baker in the wee hours and laboured as a farmer to pay all those debts. Each of her three children were placed with grandparents or uncles. As those relatives weren't bad people, there was enough to eat and each was able to go to school.

She was hard working and has been employed since her teens in various part-time jobs. After obtaining the education certificate at age 18, she went to work as a cadet reporter for a Chinese newspaper. After years of frugal living, she saved up enough to study accountancy in TAR College. Three years later, she graduated at the ripe age of 29.

Due to their early suffering and the years of perseverence to overcome poverty, both Eric and his wife believed strongly in education. They trained their three children from young to excel in their academics and stressed the importance of qualifications. On the surface, they have succeeded wonderfully. The following three blogs would narrate details of their children's education and career achievements. But life, however, does not just consist of schooling and work. It is very interesting to follow the three offsprings' lives of these two overcomers.

(1323) Overcomers: Him

Recently I met a couple who relocated to an apartment complex near where I reside. They came here to escape from the hustle and bustle of Kuala Lumpur.

Over coffee, we shared about our childhood experiences growing up in Kuala Lumpur. Eric's parents passed away in a car accident when he was in primary school, leaving him and a younger sister. Even though much compensation from insurance was made, his uncles took the pay out, and abandoned him and his sister. They were housed in their aunt's garage, only provided with the bare minimum to survive. After he entered secondary school, he had to wait at tables in the afternoon to earn enough to provide for himself and his sister. It was difficult to grow up being treated like beggars by his deceased father's blood sister. Still, he had a chance to study and better himself. He worked hard and was fortunate to be given quite a few scholarships on his way to acquire his first degree.

I was full of admiration for his significant achievement although he was dealt with quite a poor hand in early life. He expressed deep appreciation for his wife who released him for one whole year to complete his Master's degree in Australia. As a young wife recently married, she trusted her husband enough to endure such a prolonged separation in view of a better future. It is not often for one to meet with someone who overcame great odds like him.

(1322)Golden Hair Rat

Not that I am a horoscope nut, but each Chinese year is represented by an animal. I was born under the rat symbol. Hence it was easy for the brain to link the following story to the year I was born in.

Long ago and far away, there was a tiny village in a kind of fertile valley in China. There were fifteen households of wet paddy farmers. There was only one precarious mountain trail linking it to a regional town. For at least two generations, they were bullied by a corrupt merchant who bought up all their surplus grain at lower price by force. As the Chinese ancients quoted:"The majestrate's gate is wide open, those with truth but no money do not walk in".

One autumn, the paddy heads were golden in the sunlight. A few aged and the young were at home. Every able bodied person was in the fields harvesting. One small child spotted a rat. Soon everyone was chasing it to the ancestral hall, which was the biggest building. It climbed to a cross beam, did not hide but looked benovelently at those gathered. As a shaft of the setting sun back lit it, everyone present saw clearly that there was a golden hair on its head.

That night, everyone in the village sat under a big tree. The oldest man sat there, fanning himself. As he listened to a few children talking about the rat with the golden hair, he stroked his snowy beard and nodded his head. He said, his grandfather had a golden hair on his forehead. During grandfather's youth and middle-age years, the village was free. There were volunteer guards and no one dared to subjugate them. Each man carried his harvest to town and those were the prosperous years.

The next day, the oldest man sent his two teenage grandsons to covertly scout out the lone trail from a wooden mountainside. Strangely, there were no bad characters guarding the trail. The able body men plotted and started early the following morning to bring unmilled rice camourflaged as charcoal to town. That evening, they came back with silver coins, shared fairly and each family hid the money wisely.

Each day after that, unmilled rice was carried out under fruits, vegetables, firewood and sold. They left a certain amount to sell to the bad merchant. A few drunk underlings came, bought the rice without the boss. Apparently, the crook was busy courting his fourth concubine.

Thus a new era started after the sighting of the golden hair rat. The villagers' fortune changed for the better. Year by year, the crook lost himself in wine, women and song. He gradually lost his power, one day he died of apoplexy. His eldest son was an opium addict. The second son was an alcoholic, the third one joined the military and never returned. The fourth one ran off, changed his name and worked for a living. The village was free again. Everyone blessed the day they saw the golden hair rat.

(1321)Leaky pipe

This is still the first week of the third lock down. Our neighbour's blue plastic water drum's connecting inlet pipe has been leaking every night for the past few days. Well, I actually lost count of how many nights it had been raining the entire time. Rain water, leaking tap water, all flowed down to the drain. Water signifies wealth in the Chinese culture. Of course it is not good to waste clean drinking water, but what can a person do under lock down? Plumbers are not listed under essential workers, neither is electrician! Everyone is told to stay home and avoid contact to others so as not to spread COVID.

My son laughed at the ancient Chinese: water can mean wealth! Animal droppings could mean money(guano). Why can't the hundreds of rodents in the storm drain mean gold? Now! Wait a minute! I seemed to remember a story called Goldern hair rat... will type it as the next blog.

(1320) Scallop

My sister-in-law is a Cantonese. She brought new ingredients into my family. Porridge for children was boiled with dried scallop.

Talking about scallop, I remembered the very first time I had fresh scallop was in San Francisco with my "little sister". While in college, my "big sister" was a white American who grew up in West Germany. My "little sister" was a Singaporean. It was a syatem of having a junior or senior helping a freshman settle in the first month.

With my mum, a good cooking stock was made from anchovies, chicken carcase or pork bones. My current landlady, however, uses dried oyster or scallop, chicken bones and pork vertebrae. Apparently top stock was always made with sea food, fowl and cattle.No wonder Chinese spinach in top stock (siong tong yin choi, Cantonese) always tasted very rich.

(1319) Abalone

As far as I could recall, abalone was an expensive delicacy. The first time I ate a fresh abalone was during a wedding reception in a Singapore hotel, I was 24 years old.

As a foreign student visiting a beach in Victoria, Australia, my husband found live abalone in the seventies. I asked if it tasted good. He said he threw it back into the sea as there was a local law forbidding the harvesting of sea creatures.

Fast forward 25 years, my nephew told his mother in a pleading voice,"I don't want to eat any more abalone!" We all laughed. The three year old didn't realize he was most fortunate to be fed abalone, which was considered on par with bird nest as Imperial Court food for Chinese Emperors in history.

Now my nephew is 14 years old. Imagine my delight when I heard that he earns 3 to 4 digit income from video editing on line. Maybe the shut downs really could be considered a blessing in his case.

(1318) Making money during COVID

The last time the state gave out stimulas cheques of $750, the line of cars around the McD drive through wound unceasingly from 10.30am to 7.50 pm. It was seldom that the line did not reach the nearest roundabout. One lunch time I counted 17 delivery men(Food Panda and Grab) all lined up in a row. That went on for at least two weeks.

Now the momentum is building again. I am beginning to see long lines outside of meal times. This morning I counted 12 delivery men waiting for orders to go. Yesterday the waiting men numbered 16 for lunch. Well! Well! Well! The much touted cheques of $300 must have started to go into the earlier receipients' bank accounts. The suceeding amounts are for purchasing essential food for the unemployed. One wonders how it is finding its way to an already rich fast food franchisee.

Now I see how the rich will become richer, even in terrible times. During the war it was the armament manufacturers laughing to the bank. Now with COVID, it would be fast food drive through and pharmaceutical conglomerates raking it in.

(1317) Fish Maw

As a child, I was a picky eater. Often, when food on the table could not be easily identified, my mum wouldn't say what it was unless I try it.

The first time I know of eating the air-sacs of fish was in Silver city. My dear neighbour cooked for three families and often passed food over the fence. I suspected that she took pity on my husband and children, as I am really not much of a cook. One good turn deserves another, in return I used to help her picking up items or take her to places. She did not learn to drive.

When I raved about Mrs Chan's yu peow(Chinese name for fish maw) soup, my dad said that he must have eaten lots while it was poor man's food. When he was growing up in a fishing village, they would air dry the sacs and then deep fry them to keep. Then the Japanese scientists found that it contained unique proteins that contributed to good health, they bidded up the price of fish maw in South East Asian coastal cities. Now it is known as rich man's food, served during festivals and Chinese New Year. In a few years' time, my dad would have been born 100 years.

(1316) Rodents n tigers

Recently a piece of old back plastic insulated pipe my landlady kept was chewed to pieces.I suspected rodent activity. But that is strange as this building had been allowed to be a cat hotel by last tenant. I have noticed up to three different cats spent nights or days hidden among the landlord's many equipment from his restaurant days in the store room. We boast of three large deep chest freezers in the roomy kitchen.To get ventilation, the front door is always open. It is pleasant to get land breeze(wind from land to sea) in the mornings and sea breeze(wind from sea to land) in the afternoons or evenings. So far I have heard once or twice mice dancing on the ceiling. Personally I have not seen any mouse, rat or droppings in the building.

I found myself saying "Che Siti" when I pointed to the fragmented plastic.It was an alternate name that my father-in-law used to refer to rats. He said it was a name his grandma, a peranakan lady, would use. Peranakan refers to the descendents of Chinese who could have married other races, as a result Chinese dialects were lost. Generally Peranakan spoke Malay and English more than Mandarin. We find peranakan living in Penang, Melaka and Singapore, called collectively as the Straits Settlement by the British colonists. My youngest child probably inherited some of her paternal great-great grandma's genes. Strangers could ask in all seriousness whether she was Korean or mix race.

Talking about alternate names, I think of one evening in my teens. My family went to visit my father's mother in Johor. My dad's village was at the southern tip of the Malay peninsular across from the Singapore island. My cousin was ferrying me home from town after a day out. My grandma lived in a wooden house on stilts with palm leaf roofing amonst rubber trees not too far from the forest reserve. In the rural area very young people were trained to tranport others and things even though they were under age. My cousin was 12 years old. We rode on a Honda low cc motorbike without helmets. I almost fell off around a fast curve. Amidst laughter, she shushed me. She spoke in a low voice, 'Not to laugh or "Tua Pek Kung" would come hunting.' You see, that morning she told me there were tigers sighted nearby. During daylight hours, she said tigers. At night, she said TPK which meant either oldest great uncle or a Chinese deity who supposedly live in the jungle.

Apparently, if one does not want to invite rats into houses or tigers to hunt one down, we call them by the alternate names.

(1315) Are you happy at work?

After her graduation, my youngest had a reunion with her Fifth Form mates. She came back telling me that she was the only one happy with her job. There were four young men and four young women besides her. Some were working for well known companies and one or two were fairly well paid by local standards. Each said that come one year or so they would change companies, one wanted to get out of his field entirely.

I look back to a gathering I had after returning from the States. They were five female and two male friends. We gathered at A&W and had root beer floats. I was then teaching in a shop lot college. I could not complain about pay as my contemporaries were either jobless or working as interns in accounting firms for a miserable $400 per month. We started with the guys. One worked at his uncle printing shop, he was going to take over when his uncle decide to retire. Happy? He merely said that it was good to be paid at the end of the month. The other guy was the youngest in a family of ten. He was slotted to take over his dad's wholesale shop in town because he was the only one who could and would take over. He was married, soon with two mouths to feed besides his homemaker wife. He was working extremely hard to pay bills, thanking God that his big extended family was solvent. His dad passed way rather unexpectedly a year ago.

As to the ladies, Mei hated her job with a developer. She said it was still better than being unemployed. She was, nevertheless, interviewing on the sly before confirmation. It was good that she could move freely from headquarter to a few site sale offices in different parts of town. Jenny said a job is a job. She would work smart and be on the look out for a better offer. Milly said she loved the first flight to London, she was a stewardess. But she would wait until she got tired of flying to Los Angeles and New York City before thinking of quitting. We had a fun time teasing her about her wealthy boy friend in London. Laila said her work was fascinating, but her boss was terrible! Unless she could hop out soon, she would find herself working nights and weekends. Next to the air-hostess, she was the second well paid one. Lee Lee was the lucky one who landed in a field of clover. She loved her work and got along with her boss like a house on fire. Thirty years later, she was the only childless one among the nine of us. I guess children do not go well together with a distinguished career.

If you love your job, you are very lucky. In retirement, I am most fortunate to have enough to live on, but more than anything else the time and peace to write to my heart's content.

(1314)Cowardly

I am essentially a coward. Many times I shied away because I dreaded a situation, not knowing how to behave and what to say. It was much easier to stay away.

Many years ago, when I was new in Silver city, I would attend two fellowship groups from two churches each week. It was a happy way to meet new people and to make friends. There was a group that met in the Assistant Leader's home, which until today I hadn't learn how to navigate there. I readily admit to anyone that I am quite hopeless in remembering geographical locations. After a year of being driven to the meetings every Friday night, I couldn't drive to that house on my own. In those days there were no ways or GPS.

Abruptly, the meetings changed to the Leader's house and the Assistant Leader stopped coming. I was curious and surprised, I asked and the answer was he had a project out of town and his wife was busy preparing for the coming wedding of the eldest son. A year later I realized that there was only seven months between the wedding and the full moon celebration of the first grandchild. Then I was aghast how badly I had behaved. Normally I am a person who hardly call folks on the phone. I did try once or twice to get someone to lead me to their house so I could visit. But I did not try that hard. It really looked like I judged them and dropped them like hot cakes during a difficult time for them. In real life I was more blissfully ignorant than being judgemental. I felt very bad.

In between, my family moved 200 miles to the south. One day, another Silver city friend called and said that the Leader's youngest daughter was going for a second scan in a hospital near my new home. This time I made sure my husband called and make appointment to take them out for dinner. We feared the prognosis was cancer. I was fearful of not knowing how to respond and what to say. We had a very nice meal, my husband and I listened to their pain and many fears. We ended saying a short prayer before parting. It was not as difficult as I feared. That was many years ago and the girl went on to remission after surgery. She qualified as a doctor in Australia six years later.

The two incidences happened ten years apart. It is amazing how time taught a person not to be immobilised by fear. I have learnt to walk into a situation fearfully than doing nothing.

(1313)Social distancing

When I was resident in Regent Garden, Silver City, I used to buy minced meat that was quick frozen from half a shop nearby. It was a very quiet area, the lady habitually half shuttered and locked the grill door. I had to ring an electric bell to get service if she happened to be out of sight. After a while, I would time my purchases to my return journey from picking up my youngest. At that time in the afternoon she normally was seated hand slicing meat from bristle about six feet from the opening. I would make sure my child had locked the car door before I walked out to buy a few packets of meat.

The entire row of two-storey shops consists of five shoplots. Four of them were in use, one at the end was untenanted and looked run down. This was fairly common in Silver City, many shops in unpopular areas were just left vacant. The owners would not sell even if they could not let the shops out year after year. These poperty owners must have deep pockets as they would have to pay quit rent, accessment rate and utilities even for unproductive real estate.

One day I talked to my left hand neighbour who owned and managed an electrical sale and repair shop outside of our housing area. She was one of the first to move into my row of houses. She told me that four shops made up a catering service consisting at least two legal entities owned by one man. The unassuming looking lady who sold me meat is his wife, a person who is from a rich family herself. The boss owned two shops, the one I frequented was rented from a close relative at a nominal rate. He took over the catering business from his father, that was the Chinese cuisine line. He partnered a friend to start the kosher line and later began a vegetarian one as the green movement swept the area. That was why there were three distinct kitchens for the three separate services.

The boss' wife is a rare breed who do not want to run the three kitchens. She merely passed her time preparing and selling parts of the animals that could not be used in the catering. As I became a regular, we chatted. During peak business period, her husband would purchase an animal 3-4 days. She pointed to her three deep chest freezers, they would be each almost full then. During slack time, one animal might last 10-14 days. That was when I would see her doing patch work under an old study lamp an hour or so before she would close for the day.

She is knowledgeable about animal facts - the culinary kind. I asked about liver, it supplies iron. She said all pieces were booked always. She sold them by the kilo at whole sale price. Kidneys? That too, restaurants would stock them as the older generation considered it to be a delicacy. Interestingly, penises were in demand for medicinal use. The most unexpected call she had was someone asking for animal teeth. I laughed with her, neither of us could imagine a common use. She deflected that call by giving a few phone numbers of the eateries that brewed stock from animal heads.

Recently I thought of her, in the year 2000 way before COVID, she was already practising social distancing. She would hand me the meat packs in a bag, collect my payment and give me the change standing at least three feet behind the grill door. Yet I can't say she was unfriendly. She would often voluntarily suggest how I should cook that batch of meat according to the prcentage of fat. For a woman with means, she was peaceable, contented, and quite happy to serve a customer like me who run in and run off within three minutes.

(1312)Thought of a faraway friend from long ago

Now I am back in the north-eastern part of Borneo since July 2020. We are currently under a third lock-down due to COVID. In between house work, cooking abd writing, I resorted to reading Time and Newsweek magazines from years past. A word smith has to hone her craft. Since libraries are closed, I would read whatever at hand.

The latest copy I read was Newsweek from 2007. It was the copy that honoured the American Military personnel that died in Iraq. Most of the photographs were of young male, 18-30 years old. Of course there were of older male and a few female soldiers, but the numbers were low.

Thoughts flew back to the summer of 1984. I was in Texas housesitting before college term started. Apart from a cat and a few phone calls, it was like a silent retreat. As I picked up a few calls and took down messages, I started chatting with a Navy pilot based in San Antonio. He was a contact of my host, a General in reserve. We met once in church while my host went to speak in a nearby town. At that point of time an offer was made to enrol me in University of Texas in Arlington. Even though the finance part was taken care of, circumstances were such that with a grateful heart I declined the offer and left to go home. It was sad that I was not able to stay on in Texas to continue the accidental friendship.

Sitting on a balcony surrounded by constant drizzle, the fifth rainy day in a week, I wonder if my friend was well. It was unlikely he would be a statistic in the gulf. It was most unlikely he would be in the land battle. Also his age group did not co-incide with the fatal statistics. I am glad. If he survived the Middle Eastern conflicts, he should retire next year. I wish him and all my American friends well in this turbulent time.

(1311)Hiding an abused wife

I have an old friend who believes that one day she would run an abused women's home. For a single mother who brought up one son with a good job in Singapore, she is now free to run her rooming house and live in any way as she is pleased. After all, her rental surplus is more than her simple needs. What her son sends her just goes into the bank in case there is a rainy day later.

This lady has a sister who was my next door neighbour for fifteen years. Let us call the neighbor Betty. Betty brought up three children with the help of her mum after her ex-husband committed bigamy. Now and then I see Betty having guests, one who was a cousin from Kedah; another who was a school friend from Penang. Living in a big city, even as neighbours we might not see each other for a week or ten days. Our schedules varied as she worked full time but I was a homemaker with grown children. There was one guest whom I did not meet but caught a glimpse of getting into Betty's small car. I just assumed it was one of her cousins from up north.

It was Betty's sister who met that guest somehow. The latter just run away from an abusive husband living in Seremban, about one hour by highway south of where we lived. For some reason, she confided in my friend. When Betty met the abused victim over dinner and learnt of her predicament, my good neighbour open her heart and her home to this person. Within the week, the stranger's family in Penang arranged to have the runaway work for a distant relative as a companion to an elderly woman. That way, she could hide from her abuser as well as save some money for a formal divorce. The episode ended happily as the abused ran to Johor, four hours away southwards before Singapore.

Having lived a rather sheltered life, I was shocked to hear that 1. strangers rise up to help a complete stranger. 2. Betty managed to time her comings and goings for a whole week so as to protect the privacy of the abused. 3. No one suspected anything, most of us were used to her having guests off and on as she was a most hospitable person and cooked lovely meals. 4. Until today, Betty never uttered a word of that incident to me.

In case you were wondering, around that time Betty's sister was studying in a Theological College and rented a tiny room near the college. There was no way she could accomodate the stranger without her landlady's consent.

(1310) Circuit breaker

I came back from buying breakfast. It was overcast and has been raining six nights consecutively. Thank goodness we live on high ground and are less than 3 km away from the coast. Else we would have been evacuated as flood victims.

To have a meal, I switched on the overhead light. Oh-oh! The line tripped. As I quickly switched it off as soon as I realized what happened, my son went to the mains to reset the offending switch. We were dismayed that the freezer unit did not kick on. It was full of uncooked meat. Our landlady is a caterer. The long deep freezer is probably holding $5,000 worth of red meat.

On top of low customer demand and the fast approaching Chinese New Year, she does not need anymore worries. I quickly laid hand on the affected freezer and prayed a restoration prayer. We looked at each other and decided to eat our early meal before deciding to call her with the bad news. After all, a functioning freezer could hold its own for about 8 hours even if there is a black out.

Lo and behold, as I was swallowing my last mouthful of fried noodle, the freezer kicked in. I wasn't sure and went to touch it to feel the vibration that should be there. My son was jubilant! He knew each freezer intimately by its individual whirring sound. Thank God it worked on, thus delaying the inevitable evil day. We prayed it will not stop working until every last piece of meat is cooked. After all, it is a most hardy machine that lasted at least 10 years. May it take the final rest when the owner does not need it after the peak period.

(1309) Legendary Borgia

A friend told me her neighbour's child returned home from a great aunt's with plates, bowls and other crockery pieces. Moments later I recalled a story I heard seated on my grandma's lap many years ago.

Long ago and far away in a great city of China, an important man with everything he could want in life lost his wife in childbirth. What could he do? There were five children left by his beloved wife. After mourning for a year, he looked for a second wife. The matchmakers looked high and low and found a match.

The seemingly perfect second wife arrived with an entire set of kitchen ware. The cook's husband was the master's coach man. He was sent to ask the master as to what he wanted to use: his old dishes or his new wife's. The master asked his new wife why she brought what she brought. She answered that her forebears were master porcelain makers. Those were her dowry, actually family heirlooms. She tactfully said that they were only meant for display.

Life went on. The second wife was good to her stepchildren. Her own children were born by and by. Then tragedy struck, the eldest step child, a girl of fifteen years old, died. It was an unexplained death. The girl was not sick, she died in the night. The serving maid noticed that the stepmother cooked one dish that evening, but the entire household partook of it. Anyway she was a humble servant and kept her peace.

The second child of the first wife was a boy. The servant boy who served this young master happened to be a younger brother of the serving maid mentioned above. A year later, the stepmother cooked a delicious dessert and served everyone in the household after dinner but before bed time. The humble but observant serving maid noticed her mistress took out an ornate bowl from the display cabinet to serve the young master's portion. She hurriedly took it to her brother, whispered that young master should not consume it. This interference actually saved the young man's life.

Five years flew by, child number three and four who were girls, both died at different times and in different ways. By now, there were three people who suspected the stepmother: the serving girl, her brother and the young master. On the eve of the young master's departure to take the Imperial Examination, the serving girl quietly packed a few sets of clothing for the youngest girl of the first wife. The maid's brother secretly placed the bundle amongst the young master's luggage. At the last minute, the fifth child was bundled into the carriage and taken away.

Young master passed the examination and became a Magistrate in a nearby town. His youngest sister from the same mother was safe at the maternal grandma's house. The Master, who had a second wife, seemed to accept his daughter's long visit in her mother's childhood home.

Years passed, the small girl grew up under her grandma's care. In the traditional way, a match was made and the stepmother persuaded her husband to throw a big wedding do in their home for the nuptial of this daughter. It was a good thing her brother the magistrate heard about it. He reacted by taking his sister straight to his own home, and quietly held her wedding there. A court case ensued: the father sued the son for kidnapping his precious daughter, son sued the father as accessory with his second wife to the murder of three daughters. The Emperor's physicians, porcelain experts, poison experts... were all called as expert witnesses to carefully examine and inspect all possible evidence available. All three tombs of dead stepdaughters were exhumed, and it was found that each of the three girls had died of ingested poisoning. Their bones showed without a doubt that poison had been administered over a period of time before leading to their deaths.

Apparently, certain rare color pigments used to decorate expensive bone ware not fully fired in the kiln, were poisonous to humans. But if one served ordinary food on it, no one would suffer. It took an initiated person to cook a common dish with unusual ingredients to bring out the poison in the utensil. The second wife came from a family with such knowledge. Had she been able to have her way, every single one of the first wife's children would have perished, yet each death would occur at a different time in varied ways. Needless to say, she spent the rest of her life behind bars.

(1308) Free

I have spent most of my life in Peninsular Malaysia. Though third world, plumbing works there. Here in northern Borneo, I live in an eight hundred thousand dollar(local currency) building. The only clean water tap head we use is connected to a water storage drum, blue in colour. There is no stop cork switch in between the drum and the tap head. Hence there was no way of repairing the tap unless one switches off the mains and drains the drum completely.

Well, the building is superbly situated in a safe and prosperous area. Electrical supply is relatively stable compared to surrounding areas. Wi Fi signals are better than all our friend's. Whatever we need, we could get it by walking to nearby shops. I did not appreciate these wonderful good points until Movement Restriction Order. For weeks we were house bound. Then the head of household could go out and buy essentials. I was a prisoner freed to walk around all the shops, holding some food purchases. It was wonderful to be free to walk around again.

(1307) Survive

In Grade 6 I was in charged of the corridor notice board. My teacher advisor told me to visit an exibition down town and write a report to be pinned on the board.

What could I do? I dared not venture into the big bad city alone. The deadline drew nearer and I was getting depressed. My good friend advised me to look out for the newspaper coverage and adapt from there. Out came my rescuer, an unlikely person who was from the fringe of my group. She volunteered to accompanied me there and back. We will call her Kimberly here.

We visited the exibition and I took notes for the report. On the way back, she pulled me into a road that led to the police station. I was puzzled. There was a tea stall under a tree next to the police gate. We sat down and she ordered a glass of milk tea. When the boy delivered the tea, she talked to him in rapid fire Malay. She helped her mom in the wet market and was fluent in market Malay. The boy related what she said to the owner of the stall. The latter hurried and said a few reassuring words.

A group of policemen came sat down. The owner served them and must have said something to them. They turned and stared at the suspicious character that my friend detected and we changed route to avoid him. One hefty police stood up and walked towards the thin, shifty looking guy. The latter ran out of sight. A pair of jovial policemen walked us to the nearest bus stop. We hopped up the very next bus that was heading to the station.

Today Kimberly owned a factory and a showroom dealing with automobile fittings. It was abundantly clear that at age 12 she was a most resourceful person.

(1306) Tumour

Lately the food served during breakfast came out late for a few days. At first I attributed it to heavy rains in the mornings. Yesterday I turned up at 7:15am, only one noodle was fried and three side dishes were out. They were: eggs sunny side up, bitter gourd stuffed with fish meat and brinjal cooked as the gourd. I was surprised. The customer in front of me asked why they were so very late. The lady boss said her cook was on MC. He had a tumour in his neck. The assistant cook and the cook's boy were having a hard time filling in. Normally at 7:00am there were at least three types of noodles and at least 8 dishes. Besides those three listed above, we have deep fried egg roll, curry taufu pok (fried tofu stuffed), fried pork hakka style, barbecue meat slices, and squid in dark sauce.

This is the second cook I knew of taken ill. The first one had an abcess in his abdomen.He elected to return to his village in the interior and not trust government surgeons. One restaurant owner called it occupational disease. Most cooks have been apprenticed from age twelve. They were usually from poor families. The position in the kitchen enabled them to have much opportunity to eat what they like, within reasons. The consumption of unlimited food bad for them over time bred ill health. A skillful cook earns $1,200 per month with housing, two meals a day and sometimes a second hand car for marketing. That is considered good remuneration here for a local who did not get an educational certificate at age 17.

(1305) Birds

Being confined to a building for weeks at a stretch actually allowed me to be observant of animal life in the neighbourhood. Gangs of sparrows flitted from the roof to the window grills. Pigeons haunted the eateries looking for handouts. Swiftlets nested in the nooks of untenanted corridors. A pair of hawks flew high in the sky floating on thermals. Black birds with orange beaks, the type that could be trained to imitate human speech, roamed on the green lawn. Two wild chickens, which annoyed the delivery boys by pecking on their shoe lace, were shooed away. Last of all a pair of nesting yellow wag tails lived nearby, but moved after my close observation for too many days.

For a busy commercial area, I am blessed with such a wide range of wild birds. Oh, I forgot about the many white cranes hanging around the pond. It sounded like a wild life sanctuary, didn't it? Thankful for the many bird songs, I threw egg shells broken into bits and papaya skin cut into shreds near the pond for them. That is my bit of conservation effort.

(1304) Scaling

A

While still under Conditional Movement Restriction Order, I have a lot of free time to watch the park like area in front of where I live.

Three days ago I was highly entertained by 2 wild chickens' repeated attempts to get to the top of a huge lorry parked in the open area. After many attempts, one black chicken was standing on the metal bar under the front lights. The other one managed to perch on the windscreen wiper. After four failed attempts to jump higher, it did manage to reach the top of the cab for a few seconds. However, the metal paint on top was too slippery for the chicken's claws. It fell all of 6 feet to the grass.

All these happened within 40 minutes or so. I used to think that chickens were impulsive animals. After this I realise one or two could be quite persistent. There was no food on top of the cab. Why did the chickens tried hard to achieve such a difficult feat? Indeed why do we climb mountains?

(1303) No Deal

There was a couple who taught in China for a year. It was in a small town of a poor province up north. According to them, every parent they met with wanted their children to learn English. Therefor private entities sprouted out all over to meet that demand. That couple was in touch with a private tour agency which took care of their visa from Hong Kong.

They came back to their minor town and reported their experience to their church. Indeed the harvest field was white, but the workers are few. They presented evidences of people saved, bible study and discipleship classes completed. It was interesting how church leaders pointed them to South Asia. The enthusiastic couple retorted that they knew not a word of that language. Had the church been able to find a suitable language tutor, they would start language lesson that very night. They walked off, deeply diappointed at the throat constricting national policy of short visits to one or two target countries only.

Two years later, I heard that they joined a different denomination and turned to work with migrant workers. Looking at the narrow mindedness of the leaders in the first group, they could be thirty years away from dying. Perhaps the millions invested into church buildings would be sold to be used in other ways as the old believers die. Of course mismanagement of funds could occur in Buddhist temples, Hindu kuils, Moslem mosques or other religious edifice. It really is a human condition, nothing to do with any specific religion.

(1302) Adoption years ago

This is a story of adoption in the era around 1916.

A couple was childless. They adopted two girls as infants. Next they negotiated the adoption of a 6 year old boy. The boy's mother died of consumption. The poor widower father hurt his back as a coolie. He was about to return to his hometown in China as a cripple. His son refused to leave with him.

Since the prospective adoptive dad was rich, he actually sum up 1. a one way ship ticket 2. the cost price of a healthy horse 3. 6 months of wages earned by a farm hand. The grand total was given as a one-time gift to the crippled father. It was the means to a new life. The transaction was not human trfficking. The adoptive parents wanted a son to carry on the family name. The crippled man wanted to return to the shelter of his family. It was an amicable exchange. A document was drawn up, both men signed it in front of a commissioner of oath and a local business leader.

As far as I know, the adopted son died in the 1990s.

(1301)Life Bores Dreams Galore

Lately a few minibus drivers caught COVID. As a result, the entire private minibus service to town was halted. Therefore I no longer am able to get new books from the public library in town.

The brain is a marvelous organ. What drama I lacked in real life began to appear as dreams at night. Let me relate a hilarious one from this morning, right before I woke up. I was brought in as a Chinese language examiner taking part in a meet-the-missionary-candidates to China. (Really this could be the worst time to send missionary to China as there was a wave of crackdowns and deportations.)

It was raining cats and dogs during the dinner date. Yet dinner was still served in the garden! It was an interesting sight seeing the wives of leaders and other serving ladies in rain gear and holding umbrellas.If that was not funny enough, the tables began to sink into the swilling mud. That was a frightening sight! Just like in most dreams, there was no logic. Folks rescued the best vase, picked up the most expensive crystal goblets... The person in charged was calmly telling me that the boss had ten tables like that. Well! If you say so, I thought. Three tables disappeared from sight. In the impossible way of dreams, it was like a job done on an ordinary day. Everyone was very matter of fact dealing with the situation.

The usual questions were asked during dinner. The expected answers were given. Meanwhile, we ladies were observing and choosing our own candidates. For example, the number two candidate just won't do as he seemed a most finicky eater who picked at his food. The Chinese as a race places great emphasis on enjoying good food. To fit in as a missionary in China, one should love food. Well, number five should not go as he was visually undressing every shapely lady server. Number seven was just going along with everything for a subsidised trip, anyway.

But of course not a single decision maker was of the fairer sex. Perhaps ten to twenty thousand dollars would be spent sending a test team to some busy, impersonal part of a city in China. No harm was done. After all, there was still a lot more money left in the coffers yet.

(1300)Fried Rice (Three)

During my college years, one of my hostesses taught me how to mass produce Vietnamese egg rolls. Her church ladies sold it every Sunday afternoons in front of different supermarkets to raise funds in aid of new Vietnamese refugees in town.

Armed with the know-how of frying rice and egg-roll making, I had cooked for every host family I visited. Usually I would choose a Friday dinner to take advantage of using leftovers and excess ingredients in the fridge. Most mistresses of the kitchens appreciated this conversion of odds and ends into a delicious main meal.

It was during one of these visits that I used an electrical wok. That enabled me to stirfry, which was normally impossible with frying pans. Minor frying could be done using a heavy base stainless steel soup pot. Till now I could walk into any kitchen and hustle up a simple meal should the need ever arise.

(1299)Fried Rice (Two)

Once I smuggled a bowl of Asian student fried rice to our affable cafeteria manager. I didn't realise he shared it with four other cooks.

Thereafter before an Asian fare was attempted, someone would ask me about things that was not clear. Actually I knew nothing about Japanese and Korean food. They were not commonly available in the seventies in my country. Since I could hardly be called a cook, I rounded up my Chinese counterpart, my fellow Malaysian and a Pakistani senior to answer all of their queries.It was really funny to see professional cooks taking cooking tips from them about ethnic cuisines.

In my senior(4th) year, I had a floor mate who was 67 years old. She rallied a few Starkiens (students housed in a former infirmary) and we produced a special meal out of individual donations of food, money or labour. I remembered the cafeteria manager was invited and he was really impressed. It was a delicious meal, cooked by six students, representing Virginia, New England, Southern and Texas cuisine. It was a meal no single household could offer because of the diversity and authentic recipes used.

I was the vegetable washer and cutter for the 7-layered salad. I must say that it was the best salad I had ever tasted in my entire life because of the secret sauce made from the recipe of Betty's grandma.

Subsequent to that meal, I was asked to demonstrate the Asian way of slicing broccoli and cauliflower into bite-size twigs or florets. I had thought that commercial or mass cooking would not allow such a technique. Imagine that during one of the last meals I had in college, the cooking staff took the trouble to slice their cauliflower the Asian way for a side dish. It was beautiful and it tasted much better. Perhaps that was why a homogenously white college would offer finantial aid and scholarships to attract international students to be represented in its midst.

(1298)Fried Rice (One)

As a teenager at home, I avoided the kitchen. Believe me, kitchens and implements are fraught with perils for a dyslexic. I have had a life-long handicap, when combining sequential actions with time factor built in, would always rattle me and reduce me to accidents and tears.

As a foreign student in North America, I missed rice. It was so bad that I dreamed often about Yong Chow Fried Rice. Every opportunity I had, I would cook a student version of fried rice. My partners in the dormitory kitchens were Choo Lien Li from China and Cookie Lee from a city 200km from my hometown. Cookie was a name given by a Cypriot fellow student. We would pool our resources and walk 2km to buy cheap ingredients. A bag of long grain rice would cost $1.12. Two big onions would cost $0.25. A tray of minced meat could be $2.83. A thin stack of egg roll wrappers could be $1.75. With that, we could have a feast of American college fried rice and deep fried wantons. I would volunteer to walk to Kroger. After one disaster of burning something, I was relegated to only wrapping wantons and dish washing.

We were each really tiny in size. Yet with a few dorm mates sampling our food,there was nothing left of what we cooked, except some uncooked rice. None of us were plump. But how we could eat! We really enjoyed our own cuisine. I forgot to mention that the cooking oil came from our appreciative food tester Marion who lived in Okinawa for two years. Soy cauce came from Katherine the self-professed Chinese-take-out queen. Tabasco sauce came from Lee's room mate who loved Cajun food. For readers who tried to estimate the cost, each partner paid $2.00. There was five cents or a nickle left for the next purchasing trip.

(1297)Early Tutoring

I am the youngest child in my family. However, when my elder cousin was born, her parents were living with us. It was exciting and such a joy to have a newborn in the house.

When my cousin was three, her little family moved a block away with my grandma. Each morning grandma would come visit with her and stay for lunch. One Saturday, they did not turn up. By ten o'clock mom sent me over with some freshly cooked braised pork to check on them. You could blow me over with a feather, I saw my cousin sitting on a 6-inch plastic seat on a normal dinner chair. She was being tutored in Arithmetic. My aunt shrugged and said she did all she could, but my cousin still could not comprehend addition and subtraction. It was time to bring in an experienced teacher to help.

Tutoring a pre-school child was unheard of in the early seventies. Around that time I started tutoring an 11-year-old boy in English. It was a close-to-impossible task, as I taught and retaught simple vocabulary and tenses week after week. I was 13 years old that year. Even at that time I realised a person may be good at some things but quite slow in others. My pupil was slow in picking up English but good in Math and Science taught in Chinese. Perhaps it was a good idea to start early. After all, family yarns credited me with the ability to count up to 100 coconut sweets accurately at age three. It was perfectly reasonable to expect my cousin to be able to add single digits at the age of three.

Half a century has passed. Looking back, my cousin was a most fortunate little girl. Her mum had actually implemented early intervention. Chances were nobody did call her stupid nor laugh at her weakness in arithmetic. Truly she never excelled in maths, but she did not fail. She dropped the subject as soon as she could.

(1296)The Sneer

Sofia, who normally has much to say, confessed that even she was unable to correct Lucas when there was a certain look on his face. Lucas was Ben's playmate and Ben is Sofia's son. Each boy was often found at each other's house during the weekends and holidays.

This was what was said during a ladies' meeting. Quite a few ladies ended what they were saying quite abruptly to hear about this look that would even stop Sofia's ever flowing commentary. According to Sofia, It was a certain curling of Lucas' lips. She attempted to purse her lips in imitation of the 10-year-old's expression.

When I got home, I asked my husband and Keziah (my last school-going child). The former could not catch head nor tail of what I was saying. Keziah, however, had seen that look. She was a few years older than Lucas and was friends with Lucas' sister. Keziah had noticed Lucas sneering at his sister once. Keziah was of the opinion that when Lucas sneered, one should stop talking and save one's breath. Nothing would go into his thick skull just then.

All that happened a good 14 years ago. Interestingly after Lucas graduated, he asked for a year's break. His family gave him six months to rest. At that point of time, no one thought that those particular six months would be of any significanse. Yet as events developed, his sixth month ended on March 2020, the very month that COVID-19 hit Malaysia with the first wave. Most people were forced to work from home unless they were in what the Government termed essential industry. It is now November 2020, Lucas did get his one entire year of break and more. Yet with the economy stagnating and perhaps even shrinking in certain sectors, how was he going to get a job as a fresh graduate with no working experience?

I would not call Lucas stiff-necked, yet he could be rather hard headed sometimes. Perhaps it was not by chance that he was handed a difficult hand in his young life.

(1295)Three Million

Chatting with my fashionable friends in the capital city, it seemed folks were saying it would take three million in investment before a couple could safely retire for life.

Depending on the interest rate, that meant $10,000 to $12,000 a month, an annual income of maybe $144,000. With that amount of disposable cash, one could have a graduate Filipino maid. Living next to a golf course would not be a hiccup. Master and Mistress could run separate cars. Club and gym membership would cause no sweat. Missus could still purchase a branded new handbag every 6 months or so. Yearly vacation overseas would be a given. Eating out a few times a week at premium places would enhance one's lifestyle.

The strange thing is, I have known quite a few millionairesses, who lived quite near the bare bone right above the poverty level. There was Crystal's friend Rea, whom everyone thought Rea was as poor as a church mouse. She died of a massive stroke while watching a black and white TV given by a well-wisher. After the bodies (Rea and her invalid mom) were removed by the authorities, bank books and deposit certificates were found in the master bedroom as well as ten title deeds of shop buildings in Silver City. Mother and daughter jointly owned no less than $10 million cash, apart from receiving rent from pricey real estate.

In 2008, Madam Loi who helped manage Soo Peng's finance said the latter had $3.5 million. Among friends, everyone encouraged her to buy a new condo and hire a maid. There was not much point in hoarding that amount as she was well over 60 years old. All our advice remained useless words. Soo Peng lived in her deceased parents' old house and bickered with her sisters over a few cents. Recently we heard of her passing, she was the very last of her family to depart. We wondered how her wealth would affect her maid, lawyer, her many nieces and nephews; or would the government benefit?

I have a good friend who was known for the congenial parties she threw while we were single. Once she inherited millions from her dad, she somehow became another person. I wonder if she was still counting thirty-five cents in Perth? Her poor Indonesian maid was reprimanded for boiling an extra egg one lunch time.

A final thought: what is going to happen to Soo Peng's sisters' ashes kept in urns behind the coffin shop in Silver City? Did Soo Peng really left instructions in her will to finally put them to rest in a proper place? Money could be used as a good tool. But it could also become Mammon the slave driver, if a person becomes obssessed over it.

(1294)Shanghai

One of my daughters found a part-time job with a Shanghainese woman. My deceased grandma used to say that out of the entire mainland China, Shanghainese women were the hardest nuts to crack. When I met Choo Lien in Virginia, she was the very first Shanghainese I met. After about a year of being friends, one day I asked her if that statement was true in China. She did not deny it but claimed that her mum and her were different because they followed Jesus. I asked what about Beijing or Nanking, why was it that the women in mega cities did not get that reputation? She said that for hundreds of years Shanghai had been a cosmopolitan port. It was very difficult for women to survive there, especially women who worked at selling things on the street. It took ruthlessness, persistence and ingenuity to exist and bringing up offspring there.

The thought of surviving in pre-Communist China brought to mind that it was not easy to survive after the takeover. My uncle, who lived most of his life in Mainland China, said that the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution had killed off virtually all the upright, brave or courageous people in that country. To me, he was upright, honest and principled, at least that was my impression as a 33 year old niece visiting. He replied that he owed his life to his politically savvy wife. There were many instances where she had stopped him from acting out or speaking up during those turbulent and terrible days.

We see China as the economic power house and I was really tickled when I heard that Saudi Arabia has made Chinese the compulsory second language in their schools. With Covid-19 rampaging, it is most unlikely I would visit China in the forseeable future.

(1293)#Golden Rule

During my happy sojourn of 12 years in Silver City, a good portion of my weekday afternoons were spent in Angeline's kitchen. She is a practical homemaker like I am. We are both fond of our children, keep our houses reasonably clean, and cook because we need to eat.

Her husband was a regional manager in his field who often travelled to distant cities for meetings. He invariably brought back sachets of green tea from those five star hotels he stayed in. Angeline kept them carefully, as our afternoon's highlight was those two cups of hot green tea. Sometimes she took the first infusion, other times she gave me the better cup. So we keep ourselves to one tea bag per afternoon, maybe two or three visits a week.

Contrasting her to my mother-in-law, the latter would serve herself the best of every item before everyone else. Of course with a table full of yummy dishes cooked at home or restaurant-bought, it did not matter who took what. At the end of the meal, everybody would be satiated and happy. Yesterday I looked at Angeline's Facebook update, I saw a photo of her family, including a new son-in-law and her lovely daughter-in-law with two grandchildren. We seldom talk now because she resides in Singapore. As the border is practically closed, we probably would not see each other, whether this year or the next. Knowing her, she practises the golden rule with everyone around her. I have no doubt that both her daughter-in-law and son-in-law would be very fond of her.

(1292)Branding Talent

We are facing a mild form of lockdown now in Sabah. Daily I find myself relating my childhood incidences to my son.

My scientist brother was a rather accomplished woodworker since he was in primary school. He built a school desk, chair, a book shelf and a wooden box. The school desk broke after our move from Petaling Jaya to Ara Damansara. The school chair is still being used in front of my mum's house. The bookshelf has been downgraded to hold slippers. I think the box must have finally found its way to the maker's storeroom.

When my cousin was three years old, she was fascinated with the school desk. It was of a design that opened the drawer from the top. As she was playing with the swinging top, she asked me,"Who made this?" Getting the answer, she went to ask my finance brother what he did make. He pointed to the aquarium holding guppies. My cute cousin asked me with wide eyes,"What did you make?" I indicated my simple blouse and skirt as well as the big bow on her head. Being mischievous, I asked her what would she make? Using wood and nails? Using cement and glass? Or using cloth and ribbons?

She pondered for a minute. She rubbed her forehead and said,"I make stories with exciting words in my brain." Today she is a noted talent in Branding.

(1291)Wasp Nest

When I was a preschooler, I asked my dad why did he removed all wasps' nest, but left a bird nest built under the eaves alone. We lived in one unit of a long row of wooden houses back then. My dad explained that wasps stung people, therefore we do not want any wasps living in close proximity. Birds are friendly creatures. We should be highly honoured if wild birds chose to nest next to our house. He went on to talk about how smart animals are. Birds would not nest in flood-prone areas. They would choose to nest near kindly and peaceful folks who live in harmony with nature.

My second brother heard that and went investigating. There was a neighbour living nearby that we nicknamed Fierce Mother Hen. She was quarrelsome with her own family, and often found fault with the others who lived nearby. My brother and I certainly did not find a single wasp nest in front, nor behind her house. Of course no bird would nest in her back yard as she chased all of them away. The interesting fact was that we could not find any trace of ants crawling towards, or away from outside her house. It seemed all kinds of ants avoided her house totally. From chatting with her children, I found that she would constantly scald every ant in sight with boiling water. After living there for a few years, one day the family moved away suddenly. Apparently white ants (termites) proliferated in that unit since no other ants went there. The unfortunate lady's furniture was damaged. The landlord evicted them to repair the structural damage caused by termites.

It was true what the ancient Chinese wrote about animals and humans co-existing side by side in texts recorded hundreds of years ago. My dad read widely although he did not have much schooling. That was a long time before the modern terms like being green, environmentally friendly, limiting our carbon footprint... My brother who was interested in our environment as a child is today a scientist specialising in electronic engineering. I, who was curious and being a chatterbox as a little girl, am still interested in people and often write articles describing human foibles. This morning I found my son removing wasp nests built right by my front door. I found myself telling him the lessons my dad taught me more than half a century ago.

(1290)Being grateful

I was chatting with my local friend in Starbucks. The phrase of 'gratefulness despite bad fortune' brought out my tale of the Indonesian friend who received most of my household goods in 2017 (as recorded in a much earlier blog post). My friend asked me where is the Indonesian friend now?

Well! She could be in Tivoli in her own tiny wooden house near the airport. Or she could be in her elder son's plantation looking after grandchildren, that would be about two hours by car from the former capital of Borneo. Possibly she could be with her second son in Sembawang. But wherever she could be, she would no longer be travelling by public bus from town to town. Her work permit has expired. She is too old now to qualify for legal employment. As an illegal person she has to be mindful of staying below the radar. By now she has spent slightly more than half of her life working legally in this state. It is very sad that a law-abiding person like her could not apply for proper residency permit to stay on. Both her sons work here on permits. It simply would not make sense for her to go back to a country she has no one close enough, to return to.

(1289)#Tiger Mom

I met and befriended a widow while I stayed near the General Hospital in Silver City. She was a kind soul. Although she was 76 years old, she regularly shopped for the shut-ins within walking distance of her house. One of her 'clients' was an 87-year old, a mother of 10 children. The "client's" husband died ten years before that. Her surviving children were six boys, and two girls. Somehow, out of that, she was estranged from all her sons. Still, the eldest daughter came to wash the old mother's clothes twice a week. This daughter was 68 years old. The youngest daughter would come once a month from a city two hours away, bearing rice and other staples. The 'client' must have treated each child differently. What had happened to the six sons and their families? Why did each of the six leave their aged mother to live alone, never visiting or sending money? I could not even guess what had happened, until I met Mei Ling in China while visiting my uncle's family. Mei Ling worked as an hourly-paid maid for a few families in the neighbourhood. She had five children, three daughters and two sons.

First came Fish and Veron, a pair of identical twins girls. They were both qualified accountants. Next we have Apple, a female teacher posted to Tibet. The fourth, Archie and the youngest, Jude, were adopted fraternal twins. Both were lawyers, Archie worked in Shanghai, and Jude in Beijing.

All these grown children had good jobs and were married. One would think that Mei Ling would be living in clover. As things went, Mom made Fish and Veron work hard for many, many years, to pay for their younger siblings' education. Once the youngest graduated, Mei Ling released the accountants from supporting her, for life.

Perhaps because a teacher earned far less than accountants, Mei Ling did not ask for monthly contribution from Apple. Every year she visited Tibet and enjoyed being taken on sightseeing trips. Archie, the elder twin, sent two hundred Yuan every month to Mom, citing high living standards in Shanghai. Jude sent one hundred from Beijing, giving the reason that his wife earned far less than him. Poor Mei Ling could not live on their three hundred and her little pension, therefore she went out to oblige her richer neighbours. It was interesting to note that the further away an offspring lived from old mum, the latter thought better of him or her and did not expect too much from them. As Fish and Veron lived close by, the old lady expected far too much, and kept finding fault with them. The mother could not say one thing good about either of them. She was proud of the two lawyers who were far away from her, and sang praises of the teacher who hosted her yearly. Listening to Mei Ling abusing the two nearby daughters verbally, I could sympathise with them for being wary of her.

Going back to my widow friend's 'client', I will describe an update I heard recently:- The number 7 son came back to visit his old mum with thoughtful, though not very costly gifts. A neighbour happened to be visiting the old ady and witnessed the entire incident. Old mum was sarcastic and abusive in her comments. When the son gave her an ang pow (red packet containing money), she opened it and found four $50 bills. She was livid, all of his small gifts and the money from the red packet, was flung out of her door. She shouted a tirade of abuses and scolded him for giving her so little to last a whole year. The poor young man picked up the money, bundled up the gifts and walked sadly away to wait for a bus. He was poor, and had saved for an entire year to come back to see his aged mum. It would mean a trip on three different buses, before he would finally reach his rented room half a day later in a far-off city.

(1286)Semi-Charmed Kind of Life

My friend's daughter was spoilt by the latter's grandparents.

When both old folks passed on, she went to her parent's and raised havoc. As a 23-year-old, she had not worked outside the house before. There was no physical deformity. Neither was she mentally unhinged.

For a few months, she went into a charity training program to become a hairdresser. That did not last long as she quarrelled with the trainers. For a week, she tried to work for an NGO (non-government organisation) running a soup kitchen. There were disagreements with the founder. For another week, she went to help as an intern in a farm in Kedah. She was set to return there for a 3-month stint on a small stipend. But alas, she also fell out with the manager.

Other posts did not last more than 4 days. Sometimes she was dismissed, and other times she resigned in a huff. Therefore when she obtained a temporary position, hourly paid, in the midst of a COVID shutdown, none of us dared to hope it would last.

Of course friends and well-wishers have been praying for her for months. The night before the second shut down of the nation's capital, I woke to full alertness at 3am and started praying for her employers. Right before sunrise, I had such peace in my heart that I knew all would be well. At that moment, there was a sense that if within 24 hours she did not leave her hostel, she would stay at that job for at least 3 months. As things developed, she did not quit. During the lock down, no one could legally transport her and her belongings across state lines. Neither could she take the subway if she was not going to work at an essential job. Should anyone be caught, it would mean $1000 fine and jail time. Going to jail is eesentially a guarantee of catching COVID. Punishment would be meted out to transporter and passenger alike. Circumstances were such, that she was forced to stay through the difficult teething period of adjusting to a new job. Not even a spoiled brat could escape from the hand of God, even though she led a charmed life for the past 23 years.

(1285)Saga of a Foreign Wife

I met her when I started teaching Drama in an after-school adventure centre. She hailed from Pakistan. Apparently, at the 'ripe' old age of 26, she was a disgrace to her parents because nobody asked for her hand in marriage.

Her parents prepared to send her to an arranged marriage in Malaysia. Before she met her husband, she knew 3 things about him: his parents are rich, he is single and he has no criminal records. Her mom spent hours, and thousands preparing her dowry. She was given gold and jewels, hidden from prying eyes, so that if everything failed and she was alone in a strange land, she would have enough valuables to pawn, to pay for her own airfare to safely fly home. Her parents shed much tears, they were old and infirm, she was their only beloved sole daughter, apart from six sons. On top of that, she was the youngest.

As my acquaintance with Mrs Sahar deepened, her entire life story poured out of her like a waterfall. Her husband could not keep any job to feed himself, much less his wife and children. Her position in the house was worse than that of a normal nanny. As soon as her younger son left for an education in Britain, her mother-in-law told her to get employment immediately, or else her in-laws would stop feeding her. That day, she spent her bath time crying, bewailing her fate, trying to decide if it was the right time to go back to Pakistan.

A stubborn side of her rose up and protested angrily: No! I'm not going to run away and lose my sons. She has two tall, handsome, intelligent and kind boys. The very next day, she started her quest to look for a job. It was by no means easy, as she had no need to work in Pakistan. All of her years in Malaysia, was spent slaving in the kitchen and serving her in-laws' household. At 56 years old, holding a red IC(permanent resident), who would want to hire her, a woman with no qualifications or work experience?

There were two things in her favour, she speaks excellent English and she drives. The following week after that ultimatum, she meekly drove her mother-in-law around town. After entering a coffee shop, the mean old lady would not even allow her to order a drink, so she excused herself and walked to a nearby bookshop. After all, her husband had asked her to buy 3 receipt books. She took her own sweet time browsing and making her purchase. On her way back to the coffee shop, she saw a help wanted ad, for a receptionist at an after-school centre. That was how she came to be employed. Being bright, cheerful and friendly, she made many new friends, myeself being one of her moral supporters, during her interlude of being persecuted by her mother-in-law, or getting bullied by our boss.

Mrs Sahar owned an old Nokia handphone. Soon, only a select few of us(teachers and mothers), would call her to check on her status. One of us taught her how to wrangle a pay increase. She was initially paid $450 (no EPF, no socso) monthly for 4 hours of work, six days a week (Monday being our rest day). But by the time she was working 8 straight hours for six days a week, her pay stayed the same. Incidentally, our boss did not have Mrs Sahar's telephone contact, both landline or handphone, as Mrs Sahar claimed both she and her husband were renting a room together on her employment form. Her husband and her mother-in-law planned a one-week trip out o town to attend a wedding. she boldly took no-pay leave to supposedly "care" for her father-in-law at home. In actual fact, Mrs Sahar left the house for work, but drove to and hid in a young mother's house near the after-school centre. A few of us had scouted out the route she would take and found a hiding spot for her to park her old junk of her car out of sight, from both her in-law and our boss. Mrs Sahar was so good with the babies and super efficient i nthe kitchen, that the grateful mother willingly paid her $200 for her one week's help.

At the end of that one week, Mrs Sahar tried to extend for another 3 days, but our boss threatened to fire her. She had full confidence of getting another job. After negotiating back-and-forth, in the end, our boss incresed her pay to $750 per month. Even then, Mrs Sahar was still paid less than an Indonesian maid.

At 57 years old, Mrs Sahar contracted chicken pox. In her own words, she dragged her old carcass to the toilet by crawling on the floor. Even her tormentors, both the mother-in-law and father-in-law, were honestly terrified that she would die soon, looking at Mrs Sahar's prolonged suffering. She did not eat any solid food for 10 days straight. Her husband mixed cup after cup of warm milk, from milk powder, to give his wife energy. Her mother-in-law even grudgingly boiled barley water with a pinch of sugar, for her to drink. Two weeks after Mrs Sahar was confined to bed, our boss finally increased her pay to one thousand dollars, and started an EPF account for her, to lure Mrs Sahar to return back to work.

Mrs Sahar herself was amazed that her crop of friends were so kind to her. She knew for a fact that in Pakistan during her younger days, women were subservient to men, and was often very petty with each other. Here in the capital city of Malaysia, middle-class women tend to be super supportive of one another. After all, most are married with the same types of husband and children problems. So it is up to the keepers of the hearth to rise up and help each other, than to pull one another down.